February 5 – Tequila Fizz

Posted on February 5, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Party People

The Tequila Fizz seems like a fun drink to have at a shindig. That said, do you want to play a game (in my best Jigsaw voice)? Okay, you’re planning an epic night of boozing. You can invite anyone in the universe… who would be on your guest list? Here’s who would be receiving a save-the-date from The Sip Advisor!

Andre the Giant

The drinking exploits of this 7’5″, 500-pound badass are legendary. The “8th Wonder of the World” could drink anyone under the table, so unless you are one part Irish, one part German, and two parts tree shrew, don’t even bother challenging him. He had been known to drink 156 beers in one sitting and 16 bottles of wine before wrestling three matches without showing signs of inebriation. With every group, it’s always good to have an intimidating force to back up the boys who may step out of line and cause some trouble. Andre would be that force and these next guys would be causing the mayhem…

That’s Andre’s hand wrapped around a beer can!

The Jackass Gang

You’d likely end up with some bumps and bruises, but you’d sure have a lot of fun in the process. Johnny Knoxville and company are the kings of getting into sticky situations. Thankfully, for their own wellbeing, a lot of these guys have taking the effort to sober up in recent years. That may mean a little less craziness, but these guys toned down are like normal people going on a bender.

John ‘Bluto’ Blutarsky

Bluto was like a one-man wrecking ball, destroying everything in his path. Of course, his best scene in Animal House is the cafeteria food fight, which begins with him loading up his plate with a mess of different items. This was all improv by Belushi and is a classic film moment. It is on my bucket list to be involved in a food fight and Bluto might be the man to facilitate that.

Slimer

He may not look like much, but Slimer is a good dude, with a heart of gold. Slimer would be junior vice-president of snacks and as long as he kept the unit’s supply of licorice, sour crème and onion chips, chocolate-covered peanuts and raisins and cookies well-stocked, he’d get top marks in my book. It’s been pointed out to me that Slimer might eat all our snacks, himself, but I trust the green glob.

Harry T. Stone

The jokester judge would be fun to have along for the ride and it might not be a bad idea to have a man of the court in our back pocket given the collection of rascals I’m assembling.

The Electric Mayhem

Who wouldn’t want to invite friends to a party who would jam to some awesome tunes, bring with them the rock n’ roll lifestyle, yet are soft as sock puppets? Anywhere we travelled, these guys could set their stuff up, play a few numbers and earn the crew some free drinks… maybe even some Muppet strange (they must have groupies, right!?). The best part is that we’d always have good music while we were partying to excess.

Hamburglar

Anyone who has a penchant for stealing burgers is on my A-list. Although, he did get caught a lot and his communication skills don’t seem very adequate. Perhaps will leave him in the car with the next member of our soiree…

Lindsay Lohan

Lastly, Li-Lo gets an e-vite, but only as the groups designated driver, of course!

Drink #36: Tequila Fizz

1.5 oz Tequila
Splash of Lemon Juice
Splash of Grenadine
Dash of Egg Whites
Top with Cranberry Ginger Ale

Mix all the ingredients, except the ginger ale, together in a shaker, pour into a Collins glass and then top with the pop. Who would you party with if you could choose anyone in the world? Let me know and maybe your clique can have a dance-off with me and the rest of The Revolution!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
It’s funny how much foam the Egg White created in this cocktail. Not a bad recipe here, but I’d love to try it without the Grenadine, which I feel can bog down some drinks.

February 4 – Lounge Lizard #2

Posted on February 4, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Bar Crawl

When I profiled the original Lounge Lizard cocktail, I discussed my favourite real-life bars. Today, I turn reality upside down and present to you, my little sippers, the best of fictional bars. Sometimes we all wish these places were real. Seriously, though, it seems like every single show in history has featured a watering hole as a recurring setting (thus making this list extremely difficult to narrow down):

Cheers – Cheers

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name… I bet everyone who read that last line, sang it in their head! How great would it be to hang out with a regular Joe like Norm Peterson. Or shoot the shit with bartenders like Sam Malone and Woody Boyd. You could even get your daily dose of factually inaccurate trivia from Cliff Claven or some psychiatric treatment from Frasier Crane. Everyone in the place had something to offer – except maybe Paul, but we’ll let it slide.

Moe’s Tavern – The Simpsons

While Moe’s Tavern may not be the highlight of any visit to Springfield, it’s a decent joint that means a lot to its regulars. The bar has gone through a number of style changes with the times, usually to capitalize on some trend – gay bar, family restaurant, stylish martini bar (wouldn’t that be the same as the gay bar!?) – but it always returns to its former glory by episode’s end.

The Broken Stool – The Cleveland Show

After moving from Quahog, Rhode Island to Stoolbend, Virginia, Cleveland Brown promptly found himself a new group of friends – “there’s old friends, new friends and even a bear” – who regularly convene at The Broken Stool. There’s nothing like having a favourite haunt for you and your best buds and having a bear as a pal would absolutely rule. You could get him to catch fish for you and stuff.

Merlotte’s & Fangtasia – True Blood

In the True Blood universe, you have the best of both worlds. First, there’s Merlotte’s, where normal people can go to enjoy a drink or some southern cooking and crazy shit often happens. At Fangtasia, vampires, humans and werewolves alike can enjoy an evening of debauchery and crazy shit ALYWAS happens. How either owner can keep their places running with the high death rate (including to staff) and constant turmoil at each location, is beyond my comprehension.

Roger’s Place – American Dad

I dream of my own man-cave bar set-up one day… not that I don’t have that already, but it’s not in a man-cave. Neither is Roger’s Place, alien Roger Smith’s bar in the attic of the Smith family home. Here, Roger waxes philosophical for his visitors – usually suggesting a solution to their problem that gets them into even more trouble. Next time I’m bartending for the Sip Advisor friends and family, I’m going to give out bad advice… whether people want to hear it or not.

The Warsaw – The Drew Carey Show

One of the best features of this bar, was you could live above it, as Lewis and Oswald did, complete with their own fire pole into the place. Can you imagine how happy I, the Sip Advisor, would be if I could roll out of bed in the morning and ride a pole down to my favourite bar? Oh wait, I practically do that already, minus the pole and if you add a little more crawling to the trek.

Drink #35: Lounge Lizard #2

1 oz Coconut Rum
1 oz Blue Curacao
1 oz Melon Liqueur
Top with lemon-lime soda
Garnish with lemon and lime wheels

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
The Lounge Lizard family of cocktails may be one of my favourite. Here, you have Coconut Rum, Blue Curacao and Melon Liqueur all getting together to party as lemon-Lime Soda plays DJ and lays down some dope tracks. Not sure of what exactly I just wrote… let’s just say that the drink is spectacular.

February 2 – Groundhog’s Shadow

Posted on February 2, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

My Nightmare

In the 1993 movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray is forced to repeat the same day over and over again until he gets it right. Here’s a version of that same premise starring everybody’s favourite superhero, The Sip Advisor.

I’m awoken abruptly, voices coming through the thin walls of our resort hotel (I know, a resort hotel isn’t the best setting for a nightmare, but just wait, all will be explained). The clock reads 7:30am and I can never understand why people feel the need to have loud conversations that early in the morning. Seriously, when my wife and I wake up that early on the very rare occasion that we have to, it’s like we communicate in sign language. I motion that I’d like a little morning action, she shoots me down swiftly with a wave of her hand and I’m off to the bathroom to get ready for the day!

Next part of the nightmare: We get to the 24-hour buffet and every food item is out and the staff has no plans to replace them. There are rumours of a revolt, guests storming the kitchens to take whatever they can find. One basket of tortilla chips is brought out and the server is ambushed. I try to get my hands on at least one chip, but my efforts are fruitless. I walk away with multiple chips cuts and the salt stings my wounds. I suffer a black eye as well, as Mrs. Sip Advisor takes the opportunity to get a shot in, probably for all the attempts at morning fun over the years. She doesn’t understand that I would have shared the chip I was fighting for with her.

A news brief comes on the TV informing us that all kittens in the world have been eliminated, thanks to a new worldwide law passed by the pro-dog lobby (actually made up of famous dogs, including Lassie, the ghost of Old Yeller and Eddie from Frasier). I shed a tear, but the worst is yet to come. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: there could be something worse than no more kitties!?!?

So, no sleeping in, no food, and no kitties, but I’m still not panicking yet. I head over to the bar and, you guessed it, they are all out of liquor!!! There’s not a drop in the house. My pupils dilate, blood pressure rises and I go into fight or flight mode. I’m throwing bartenders into the nearby pool, smashing bottles over my head and squirting lemon and lime juice into guest’s eyes. It’s complete chaos as I go on my rampage.

Finally, I am subdued, thanks to a clubbing blow to the back of the head. When I wake up, it’s 7:30am again and the neighbours are yelling… or are they just having a normal conversation. It’s so hard to tell when you can’t understand what they’re saying.

I am released from the Groundhog Day cycle when I learn to embrace a world with no liquor, early wake-ups, a lack of buffet food and a kitten-less existence. That’s the real nightmare!

Drink #33: Groundhog’s Shadow Shot (a Sip Advisor original creation)

Pour a dollop of chocolate syrup at the bottom of the glass
Stick gummy bear (acting as gummy groundhog) in syrup
1.5 oz Galliano to fill glass

I tried finding a Groundhog Day-themed drink that already existed, but when none satisfied me, I made my own. Sounds like a euphemism for most people’s sex lives. The chocolate syrup is the earth, the groundhog’s home and the Galliano is the sun greeting the little critter, encouraging him to rise to the surface. The gummy bear is the tiny fella sticking his nose above ground to meet the brand new day.

Did he see his shadow, causing him to retreat to his underground dwelling and making humans believe they will have to suffer through six more weeks of winter? Or did he stay above the surface, signaling an early spring to come. With this shot, we’ll never really find out, so that means eternal winter… kind of like Game of Thrones! Awesome, drinking with Tyrion Lannister!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
Where to begin with breaking down this drink? I tried a couple different mixes and ways to get that damn gummy bear to look decent and kept on getting tripped up by various issues. The Galliano make-up of the shooter might have completely saved it.

January 27 – AC Maple Leaf

Posted on January 27, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Mixology on the Fly

Recently, my wife scored some tickets to the Air Canada Maple Leaf Lounge at YVR. On our recent holiday, we decided to stop there before our flight, and what a time we had. First, I was able to grab a free copy of The Hockey News magazine – it’s always good to have some reading material for the flight and whatever travel bugs you might have to suffer through (we were en route to Mexico, after all) and then we headed to the food station for some eats. That’s when I noticed it: there, illuminated by god’s light, as angels sang in my head, was the free-pour bar, stocked with nearly everything a mixologist needs.

My jaw dropped, eyes bulged… I might have even got a little aroused. I frisbeed my plate away, smashing it against a wall, and skipped (literally!) over to the bar. I couldn’t think straight. What did I want to make? WHAT DID I WANT TO MAKE?… and how many drinks could I throw back in the next hour?

I went to work, putting together a mix of Crown Royal Whiskey and Grand Marnier. Top with some Sprite, toss a wedge of lime on there and you have yourself a delicious cocktail invented in mere moments. I also did my best to make a Long Island Iced Tea, but had to sub Grand Marnier in for Triple Sec, which didn’t turn out too badly, as both spirits have an orange taste.

After double-fisting those cocktails, it was onto some heavy lifting. I quickly fired up a scotch on the rocks, courtesy of close friend Johnnie Walker and finished with a healthy dose of Courvoisier Cognac, to bring out the ladies’ man in me.

The key to mixing on the fly, is having an idea of what tastes good together, or at least, what different liquors taste like. I knew I could trust Grand Marnier as a flavor enhancer and that worked out quite well. If anyone else wants to give me tickets to a private airport lounge (or an open bar – anytime, anywhere), you know where to find me!

Drink #27: AC Maple Leaf (An on-the-fly Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

1 oz Crown Royal Whiskey
1 oz Grand Marnier
Top with lemon-lime soda
Garnish with a lemon wedge

Sip Adviosr Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This was a fun little recipe to cook up on the fly. Using what I had at my disposal, I think I put together a pretty decent drink. The Crown Royal and Grand Marnier work well together and some Lemon-Lime soda just completes the concoction.

January 4 – Blue Razz Buzz

Posted on January 4, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

What Exactly is a Blue Raspberry?

Will the real blue raspberry please stand up?

It’s Friday, you have friends coming over soon and you have nothing prepared, nothing to offer. What do you do, hotshot? WHAT DO YOU DO!?!

Well, I can’t really help you in the food, decoration or entertainment departments, but I do know a great cocktail you can quickly make and offer your guests.

First, though, who ever thought of the concept of blue raspberry? There are sports drinks, candy, syrups, yogurt and snack foods that all rely heavily on blue raspberry flavouring and colouring. However, the last time I checked, raspberries aren’t blue, and as much as I like to think that blue raspberries are found in some special natural orchard secretly harvested by Smurfs, my wife tells me that I’m wrong (she has also shot down my idea that blue raspberry is actually made from Smurfs themselves… I think she just hates Smurfs… or is working with them… but I’ll save my Smurf conspiracy theory for another day).

Aha! I knew it!

Upon researching the concept, there is surprisingly an actual real live “Blue Raspberry”! Disappointingly, the blue raspberry more commonly appears black and its inside fruit is not of the bright blue colour (often known as brilliant blue) we’ve come to expect from the term blue raspberry (so yet another aptly named food, rather like pineapples, which certainly don’t grow on pine trees and whoever thought they looked like a pinecone must have been indulging in a little too much Caribbean rum – another favourite drink of mine and will be the topic of future posts, but I digress).

As shocking as it may seem, the brilliant blue we know and consume today is not some closely kept Smurf secret, but actually achieved with food colouring in a variety of products. I know, right?!

Similarly, who started spelling raspberry as raZZberry? It’s like they are saying, but not saying, that the substance is completely manufactured and does not contain one berry (or Smurf). I smell another conspiracy, but until I’ve polished off a few of these drinks, I just won’t have the desire to dig deeper.

Drink #4: Blue Razz Buzz

1.5 oz Raspberry Vodka
1 oz Rose’s Blue Raspberry Mixer
Top with lemon-lime soda
Garnish with raspberries or lemon/lime wedge

What is YOUR favourite blue raspberry item? Mine, of course, is the beautiful drink you see above, although I’m also a fan of Jolly Ranchers, Airheads and Skittles of this flavour. The best part about the drink, you won’t be walking around with a blue tongue like you will after eating the candy!

P.S.: I realize I’m probably driving my American readers crazy using the English spelling of words like colour and flavour, which appear numerous times in this post. Part of me apologizes and the other part of me wants an apology from you. Let’s call it a wash, providing you continue to visit my site.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
The Blue Raspberry Mixer is, of course, excellent and combines really well with the Lemon-Lime Soda. We haven’t even got to the boozy part of the drink yet and it’s already a smashing success. Add a little Raspberry Vodka and you’re in booze heaven.

January 2 – Cool Collins

Posted on January 2, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Cool Collins to Michael Jackson’s Virginity – 6 Degrees of Separation

How can one person connect the Cool Collins cocktail to Michael Jackson’s virginity in six simple steps? Watch and learn!

Sometimes I wake up and think, “Today is a Cool Collins day.” After all, that’s my Grumpy Old Man cure, with its citrus charm (I use 7-Up or Sprite, instead of soda) and pleasant presentation (muddled cucumbers, yo!). I love the Grumpy Old Men movies, starring Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau, one of the best comedic duos of all-time. Matthau also played one of my favourite drunks (look out for an upcoming post on this amazing selection of characters) Morris Buttermaker in The Bad News Bears. In that movie, Buttermaker enlists the services of his ex-girlfriends daughter, Amanda Whurlitzer, to pitch for the hapless team. That youngster was played by Tatum O’Neal, who is the youngest person to ever win a competitive Oscar, for her role in the movie Paper Moon. And here’s where things get interesting (as if you’re not enthralled by this connect-the-dots puzzle already): she once dated the ‘King of Pop’ Michael Jackson, who has claimed that O’Neal was his first love.

So, there you have it: Cool Collins—Grumpy Old Men—Walter Matthau—Bad News Bears—Tatum O’Neal—Michael Jackson’s Virginity!

The game is even more fun when you’ve already had a couple of these cocktails! So here’s my adaptation of a Tom Collins:

Drink #2: Cool Collins (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

Muddle 4-5 thinly sliced cucumber wheels
1.5 oz Hendrick’s or other gin
Top with lemon-lime soda
Garnish with cucumber wheel or lemon/lime wedge

This is an awesome drink in the summer, but can definitely be rocked in the winter months, as well. Let me know what you think and come back tomorrow for another great recipe. Enjoy!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I’m a huge Tom Collins fan and today I tried to change the recipe up a little. The muddled cucumbers along with the Hendricks Gin gives a great taste of cucumber throughout the drink, which while a mild flavour, has also been an enjoyable one for me. My choice of Lemon-Lime Soda over Club Soda is also an excellent decision.

January 1 – Golden Resolution

Posted on January 1, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

New Year’s Resolutions

Most of us make them, most of us break them, and no, I’m not talking about pottery. For 2012, I made a few resolutions and by my own accounting, I only kept to one of them and even that one didn’t come into effect until April when I finally began hitting the gym regularly.

That said, here are my resolutions for 2013:

1) To start this blog. Over the next year, I will share with you, the loyal reader, a drink recipe every day of 2013. Other features will pop up over time and I hope you will enjoy all the content my mind can create. Some things to look forward to: Around the World in 18 Libations, Alcohol Quotes, Movie Reviews with Alcoholic Characters, Saturday Shot Day, What I Learned on my All-Inclusive Vacation, and so much more!

2) To drink less… ah, who are we kidding, resolution number one basically makes resolution two null and void. When picking three things to drop (chips, chocolate and fast food) for my wedding diet, alcohol was the one thing my wife and I agreed would not be on the table. EVER.

3) Finally, the one thing that is on my list every year, thanks to one of Samuel L. Jackson’s appearances on Saturday Night Live: “To continue to kick ass!”

And now, onto the first drink of the 365-day Mixology Challenge: The aptly titled, Golden Resolution

Drink #1: Golden Resolution (A Sip Adivsor Original Recipe)

A wonderful way to bring in the New Year or celebrate a major milestone!

A wonderful way to ring in the New Year or celebrate a major milestone!

1-1.5 oz of gold leaf schnapps (I used Schonbrunner Gold, but Goldschläger or any other brand does the trick)
Top with champagne

The key here is to then put your champagne flute under a light source and marvel at how the champagne bubbles push the gold leaf around and sparkle under the illumination.

This drink was suggested to us by a Schnapps manufacturer in Austria and I’ll always remember it, as my now wife and I held onto our bottle of Schonbrunner Gold for four years before finally sharing it with the guests at our engagement party. We all enjoyed the spectacle of floating gold leaf, brought to life by the nearby roaring fire pit and it was a wonderful way to close out the party. This drink finishes my bottle of Schonbrunner, so if anyone wants to get me another, you know where to find me.

Now, take your Golden Resolution, drink or goal, and I wish you all the best in 2013!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This is a very classy drink and if you were judging solely on look and effect it would be a definite 5. I do, however, have to take into account that I’m not a fan of bubbly and therefore not inclined to bubbly-based cocktails. The schnapps is nice because it’s basically flavourless and you have to remember, what glitters is gold!

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

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