October 6 – Obsession

Posted on October 6, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Curious Collections

Growing up as an aspiring Sip Magnate, I had a number of collections I was dedicated to: I collected hockey cards, wrestling figures, DVDs, and now liquor. Today, I’d like to look at some of the more specialized collections in the world, but don’t worry, I’m not here to gross anyone out and won’t look at the kind of people that collect their own ear wax or belly button lint. Here are some of the most interesting collections I found:

Soda

It’s hard to believe there’s even a culture of people that collect various beverages, but it does bring up a sort of nostalgia when you see a beloved product from your childhood that is no longer being distributed. The one problem with this collection is that you can only look at it and not taste it, which is the whole reason you probably enjoyed the product in the first place. I guess you could drink the beverage and just keep the can. That would make your collection even rarer.

Handcuffs

This dude (Joseph W. Lauher) must really be into BDSM to have so many pairs of handcuffs in his possession. I guess they do provide interesting stories and history, as well, but you can’t deny the handcuffs roll in sexual deviancy. Lauher has everything from thumbcuffs to leg irons and has even created pages about escape artists. If this gets you going, not that there’s anything wrong with that (Mrs. Sip!), you might want to check out his collection.

Sugar Packets

Phil Miller began his collection of sugar packets in 1978. While you wouldn’t think there’s much variance to packets around the world, you have to remember that most companies make their own packets complete with their own branding. Miller has two pages dedicated to packets found at restaurants and another for hotel finds. There’s even three pages full of U.S. presidents adorning the coffee enhancing products.

Chocolate Wrappers

Let’s be honest, everyone loves chocolate. Even those that suffer from lactose intolerance will find a loophole to be able to enjoy the cocoa stuff. Once you’ve eaten the treat however, is there really any reason to keep the wrapper. I say no, but Martin Mihál may tend to disagree. He has collected wrappers from around the world… seriously, it looks like every country is represented on his site. Brotha surely has diabetes by this point!

Scratch Cards

Mrs. Sip loves scratch cards. When we’re out grabbing groceries, she’ll often pick up a card for fun and the chance to win a couple dollars. Thankfully, she hasn’t taken her passion for scratching to the level Victor Paul Taylor has. Taylor could be sitting on a gold mine of winnings, but he may never discover how much money is actually there. He keeps his precious card in mint condition, including never having scratched any of the possible winners.

Toothpaste

Dr. Val Kolpakov may have taken his dentistry too far with this obsession. Sure, toothpaste comes in a variety of styles and flavours, but does that make them special? I suppose the same can be said for my liquor collection, but at least I drink the stuff. You just know that this is the kind of guy that gives out toothbrushes and toothpaste for Halloween… only his stuff is vintage, which means expired and probably not worth a dime.

Napkins

Ma Sip loves her festive napkins, but even she would never take her passion so far as to collect the mouth and hand wipes. Helena Vnouckova, on the other hand, has done exactly that, putting together a collection of napkins that would be suitable for any occasion. Although, I doubt she ever puts them out for use and instead hordes them for her selfish needs. Similarly, there’s also a guy who collects moist towellette packs. Perhaps the two should hook up!?

Condiment Packets

I’ve shared my love of various condiments with all you little sippers. And while I thoroughly believe that sauces make a meal, it has never crossed my mind to collect these condiment delivery devices. Like the sugar packets above, each eatery usually brands their own packaging, making items unique. I wonder if he has any discontinued sauces that could go for great sums of cash on the condiment black market!?

Drink #279: Obsession

1 oz Amaretto (I used Disaronno)
1 oz Crème de Cacao
1 oz Chocolate Liqueur
Top with Milk
Garnish with Chocolate Shavings

After researching for this article, it seems that if an item exists, someone collects it. Join me tomorrow as we look at celebrity collectors and the odd things they choose to spend their millions of dollars on!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
My favourite part of this cocktail was the Chocolate Shavings… that’s not to say the other ingredients weren’t good, as well, but the chocolate was delicious and it being dark and bitter helped balance the overall sweetness of the drink.

October 4 – Campfire Martini

Posted on October 4, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

It Ain’t So Bad

Now that we’ve nestled into the cooler months of the year, it’s nice to bring out a drink like this and reminisce about the summer gone by. Fall and winter aren’t all that bad, though. You just have to find ways to deal with the change. Here are my favourite ways to spend the “indoor” months!:

Get Caught Up on TV

Gone are the days of playing outdoors, but that’s not necessarily a horrible thing. Now we get to snuggle up under warm blankies and watch all the TV we neglected over the summer. Mrs. Sip and I have so many shows, past and present, to get up to speed on. Among them: Sons of Anarchy and Venture Bros. Plus, there’s also all the returning shows that we watch regularly: Walking Dead, Community, Big Bang Theory, Parks and Rec, etc.

Movie Marathon

In a similar vein to our TV habits, movie marathons are much easier to do without the sun enticing you to come outside and play. There were some pretty good flicks that came out over the summer that should be released to homes soon and there’s a lot of stuff to get caught up on from the past that you hear about over time. At least in my own theatre, I can eat all the potato chips I want and can suppress the enjoyment of popcorn.

Vacation to Tropical Locales

I don’t fully understand the need to go on vacation during your own summer. Why would you leave your home when it finally gets to the point where it’s worth living in? I like to save my vacation time for when the weather is garbage (raining buckets or freezing you to the core) and getting the eff out of dodge. Nothing can fend off those winter blues better than leaving winter far behind, in favour of sunny beaches, warm breezes, and poolside bars, if you can throw that in, too!

Winter Sports

From a simple ice skating session to more extraneous activities like skiing, snowboarding, and hockey, there’s much to do in the darker half of the year. I find the winter is a perfect time to mold your body back into shape as the desire to be anywhere other than the gym is lessened. If you’re a weightlifter, as I often purport to be, you’re also not sweating buckets in a stuffy gym, thanks to the cooler temperatures.

Picnic by the Fire

A favourite pastime for Mrs. Sip and I is to grab enough food for a King’s feast, turn up the fireplace, and spend an evening sans electronic distractions and clothing (if I can convince the missus!). Regardless of wardrobe choices, it can provide the perfect romantic setting for catching up with your best friend, sharing a few dozen laughs (I’m a pretty funny guy, after all), and forgetting all about the bitter cold that’s brewing outside!

Drink #277: Campfire Martini

Rim glass with Graham Cracker Crumbs
1.5 oz Smores Vodka (I used Three Olives)
Top with Milk
Splash of Chocolate Syrup
Garnish with a Toasted Marshmallow

What’s your best strategy for fighting off old man winter? I’m always looking to learn new techniques to enhance my all-round godness!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
This drink was delicious. A wonderful dessert martini that Mrs. Sip and myself couldn’t get enough of. The Graham Cracker Crumb rim works out better than most other rims. Creating the Toasted Marshmallow without the availability of a campfire was interesting… I had to use a small candle and hope for the best!

October 3 – Waikiki Wave

Posted on October 3, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Aloha

As many of you little sippers know, I recently celebrated my 30th birthday in Hawaii! While there, I did what the Sip Advisor does best: got smashed all around the island, leaving a path of destruction not seen since the attack on Pearl Harbor… too soon!? Here is an account of my misadventures and some great spots to hit if you are ever in Honolulu:

Birthday Crawl and 30-Drink Challenge

Mrs. Sip and I arrived on the beautiful island shortly before the clock turned over to my birthday. At exactly midnight, I sipped my first drink and was promptly challenged to down 30 libations before the day was done. I had six down the hatch before going to bed and awoke to a shot around 8am. After picking up friends at the airport, the birthday pub crawl was off and running. Over the rest of the day, we hit Jimmy Buffett’s, LuLu’s, Tiki’s, Rum Fire, and The Yardhouse, where I destroyed a half-yard of brew for my 30-in-30!

Happy Hours and Mai-Tais

Hawaii, perhaps more so than any other place in the world, is famous for their midday and late night happy hours. You can bet that we took advantage of as many as possible, despite the collection of bottles we had waiting for us in our apartment. A must-have drink while vacationing on any of the Hawaiian Islands is the Mai-Tai. The Mai-Tai is among Mrs. Sip’s all-time favourite offerings, while I enjoyed a couple at Chuck’s Steak House (which is owned by Duke’s, another not to be missed dinner spot with a phenomenal salad bar located at the Outrigger hotel). They even came in tiki-head shaped glasses!

Yardhouse Options

While we enjoyed many locations, our group’s favourite hangout was probably The Yardhouse, which we visited nearly every day. Thankfully, I’ve learned this chain exists near enough to me that I will get to visit again soon. The food was great and the drinks even better. They have countless offerings on tap (definitely something for everyone) and I made sure to try nearly every wheat or white beer they had in stock. Food was also pretty good with boneless chicken wings and half priced happy hour pizzas!

Dave and Busters

In a previous article, I outlined some restaurants that I wanted to visit. One of those was Dave and Busters, which I learned only days before our vacation had a location in Hawaii. When Mrs. Sip and I stumbled upon the outlet, we made sure to enjoy some food (delicious pretzel dogs), copious amounts of beer (a shuttle of 100 ounces) and their midway games! We had a wonderful time, highlighted by a four-way air hockey contest, yours truly defeating Mrs. Sip on a massive Connect 4 game, and also scoring the only 5/5 on the trivia challenge!

Top of Waikiki

This top-rated bar was a wonderful retreat from Waikiki’s bustling streets. As we rotated around the bar, it was fun to check out the restaurant’s liquor collection and indulge in a few delicious cocktails. Our bartender, Kory, was second only to your very own Sip Advisor and catered to our every whim. It was here (as well as at Rum Fire) that I learned how much I enjoy and appreciate drinks with a little heat, whether through hot sauces or being mixed with peppers. My favourite recipe was the Naughty or Nice, which combined rum, strawberry puree, mint, soda, and Serrano peppers.

Beach Time

While I’m not a huge fan of going to the beach (the poor man’s pool, as I call it), we did spend a number of afternoon hours soaking up the sun and getting filthy in the ocean and sand. A highlight, was making our own midnight pizza and taking it out onto one of the beach piers (along with some liquid sunshine) and enjoying the waves crashing against our bare feet as we ate, drank and pondered.

Boozy Ending

Mrs. Sip and I spent our last night in paradise kicking back and relaxing (not to mention polishing off every last bit of alcohol in our place). The only thing I like about coming home from vacation is introducing the liquor we purchase (our babies) to their new abode. On this trip, Mrs. Sip and I picked up bottles of Macadamia Nut Liqueur, Rock Coconut Rum, Apple Pie Moonshine, Malibu Red, and some mini bottles of various flavours to be featured soon!

Drink #276: Waikiki Wave (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

1.5 oz Spiced Rum (I used Bacardi Oakheart)
Top with POG (Passion-Orange-Guava) Juice
Splash of Ginger Ale
Garnish with Hawaii Cookie and Macadamia Nuts

I’d say the only area that Hawaii drinking needs improvement is that you can’t drink on the street and beach. If the island could remedy this and become a little more like Las Vegas in their public alcohol consumption laws, that would be amazing. Especially with all the ABC stores, I just wanted to grab a beer, crack it and walk a block to the next outlet!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This was an okay drink, but I think my Ginger Ale had gone a little flat and wasn’t the awesome ingredient it usually is. All the garnishes were certainly fun to eat after the drink was consumed and the munchies had truly kicked in!

October 2 – Raspberry Dew Drop

Posted on October 2, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Seasonal Mythology

Greek mythology is pretty crazy. Somehow, some way, the myths can explain why everything exists today… including each of the four seasons. Here is the mythological explanation for all seasons:

Winter

The story goes like this: Hades, that underworld bad ass (he even has his own beer), kidnaps Persephone to be his wife (if only it were that easy!). Zeus, that omnipotent ruler, decrees that Persephone should be returned to her mother Demeter (also the goddess of earth). Hades tricks Persephone into eating the food of the dead, which I guess is a mix of bleu cheese and expired fruit, and that means she has to stay in the underworld. In one of the earliest examples of a child custody agreement, Zeus gives both Hades and Demeter half the year to have Persephone. Demeter gets all hormonal and moody when Persephone is with Hades and creates winter. So, if you’re not a fan of sweaters, indoor heating, and ice scrapers, you have Hades to blame for your own misery.

Spring

Sticking with the whole Hades-Persephone-Demeter soap opera storyline, when Persephone returns to her mother Demeter, Demeter gets off her lazy ass and starts feeding mankind again, tending to the various harvests that must be maintained. I guess she had a serious case of empty nest syndrome. Moving on, the world become luscious again and people fatten themselves up, not knowing that summer is around the corner and they better start pulling out their Ab Rollers, Bowflexes, and ThighMasters, again. Next time Mrs. Sip complains of eating too much, I’ll just reference the gods and be done with it.

Summer

The happy times for Persephone and Demeter continue through the wonderful summer, where everyone on earth is happy and frolicking naked (by the way, all you little sippers should see the Sip Advisor frolic… it is a sight to behold… perhaps without the naked part) amongst the tall grass, hot temperatures and warm breezes. Hades is lurking in the shadows, however, and Persephone will soon be his again. For the time being everyone enjoys the bliss of sweet summer and forgets their troubles.

Fall

Persephone must be returned to the underworld and Hades (her father figure-wannabe husband-captor) couldn’t be happier with his prize. Demeter suffers from separation anxiety and doesn’t want to be alone in her misery, so she makes everyone else have to battle bouts of seasonal affective disorder (SAD… not to be confused with SADS – Sudden Arrhythmic Death Syndrome). Just as people think things couldn’t get any worse, they are reminded of Demeter’s behaviour the previous year and folks begin to dread the newly dubbed ‘winter’ that is approaching. As they say on Game of Thrones and I like to bug Mrs. Sip by repeating at inappropriate times: “Winter is coming!”

Drink #275: Raspberry Dew Drop

1.5 oz Raspberry Vodka (I used Absolut)
Top with Cranberry Juice
Splash of Sweet & Sour Mix
Garnish with Raspberries and Lemon Slices

Well, I hope you liked that eschewed view of seasonal changes… thanks for nothing Demeter!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I felt this drink nicely captured the changing of the seasons, although it works best when winter turns into spring. It certainly tasted fantastic and the look came together really well with all the garnishes!

October 1 – Slapshot

Posted on October 1, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Hockey Tough

It’s not even debatable… hockey players are the toughest athletes in the world. While baseball players miss time with blisters and soccer stars writhe on the pitch and clutch their legs on phantom touches, NHL’ers play through devastating injuries on a regular basis. As the league returns to action tonight for their 2013-14 season, these hombres must be saluted as the toughest of the sporting bunch!

Steve Yzerman (2002)

Steve Yzerman is known as one of the greatest leaders in sports history. In 2002, Yzerman suffered a serious knee injury, but refused to let it keep him down. Yzerman had good reason to continue playing, though. His Detroit Red Wings lifted the 2002 Stanley Cup, mere months after he was an integral member Canada’s 2002 gold medal triumph at the Winter Olympics. Following that glorious year of events, Yzerman had to have his knee completely realigned, but still returned to hockey that season.

Patrice Bergeron (2013)

Continuing to play at a professional level with broken ribs is one thing, but imagine that same injury resulted in a punctured lung. Most normal people can’t even laugh with broken ribs, let alone play a highly physical and demanding sport. Patrice Bergeron played through Stanley Cup Final games with a punctured lung, among other injuries. It’s not like Bergeron didn’t already have a Stanley Cup on his resume, as the Bruins had won the grand prize just two years earlier, but Bergeron continued to play so as not to let down his team.

Jacques Plante (1959)

You’re already pretty tough in my books if you’re willing to stand in front of the net and have shots fired at you, as well as players crashing your crease… you’re even tougher if you did it back in the days of limited padding and no face masks. In a 1959 game, Jacques Plante took a slapshot to face, breaking his nose and cutting him open. Plante simply got stitched up, put on a mask and returned to ice. The occurrence ushered in the goalie mask as a regular protective device in the NHL.

Mario Lemieux (1993)

In January 1993, following repeat Stanley Cup championships and amid another wildly successful season, Mario Lemieux announced that he would be taking some time away from hockey to treat his Hodgkin’s lymphoma cancer diagnosis. Not ever cancer could stop Super Mario, though. He returned to hockey two months later and on the same day as radiation treatment to score a goal and add an assist. He was even given a standing ovation from the opponent Philadelphia Flyers fans, some of the toughest supporters in all of sports.

Gregory Campbell (2013)

There’s something about the current crop of Boston Bruins that is admirable. On top of Patrice Bergeron’s struggles from the Stanley Cup Finals, there is also the case of Gregory Campbell, who stayed on the ice to kill the rest of a penalty after blocking a shot which broke his leg. Campbell struggled to stay in the play and break up whatever he could before hobbling to the bench and leaving the game.

Bobby Baun (1964)

During the Toronto Maple Leafs 1964 Stanley Cup finals series with the Detroit Red Wings, defenseman Bobby Baun broke his leg blocking a Gordie Howe shot. He was taken from the ice on a stretcher, but reemerged on the bench for the overtime period. Although he wasn’t known for his offensive abilities, the hockey gods looked down kindly upon Baun that night and he notched the overtime winner, forcing a game seven. The Leafs would hoist the cup days later with Baun still in the lineup.

Paul Kariya (2003)

Before concussions were such a hot button topic, a player could “get his bell rung” and be back on the ice in no time. But imagine taking one of the hardest open ice body checks in hockey history, from one of hockey’s all-time thunderous hitters and returning to the ice minutes later to score a huge goal, extending your team’s playoff life and championship bid. That’s exactly what Paul Kariya did when Scott Stevens flattened him in game six of their Stanley Cup Final Series.

Drink #274: Slapshot

Rim glass with Pop Rocks
2 oz Tequila (I used Sauza Gold)
Top with half Brisk Strawberry-Melon and half Club Soda
Garnish with Lime Wedge

There are people out there who don’t go to work when they twist their ankle or have a cold… not the noble hockey player, however. Much respect to the brotherhood of hockey players out there. Let the games begin!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This was an impressive drink. The Brisk Strawberry-Melon, which had found itself tucked away in the fridge for far too long, came out and had a career-making appearance. No more riding the pine for this mixer… it earned itself a brand spanking new contract with this gutsy performance!

September 30 – The Wink

Posted on September 30, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Near Misses

Here is part two of my investigative series looking at roles actors and actresses passed on that cost them millions of box office dollars, increased fame, and iconic characters and franchises. Let’s get right on with it!:

Johnny Depp – Ferris Bueller (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off)

Depp’s career could have been launched years before he finally broke through, or perhaps it could have fizzled out much like Matthew Broderick’s has. We’ll never really know, as Depp passed on the role of Ferris Bueller and all of his ditching class hijinks. Had he taken the role, perhaps Depp would have never developed into the eclectic actor he is today and we would have missed out on characters like Edward Scissorhands and Capt. Jack Sparrow.

Michelle Pfeiffer – Clarice Starling (Silence of the Lambs)

An Oscar could have been Pfeiffer’s prize if she had accepted the offer to play Clarice Starling in the wildly successful (both critically and financially) Silence of the Lambs. It’s not like Pfeiffer saw a drop in her career at that point, later playing Catwoman in Batman Returns, but she missed a rare chance to snatch up an elusive Oscar statue. It seems Pfeiffer made a career of turning down roles, including the female leads Pretty Woman, Basic Instinct, Thelma & Louise, and Evita, among others.

Jeremy Irons – Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs)

Sticking with Silence of the Lambs, Irons turned down the role of Hannibal Lecter because he found the script to be too violent. So, let me get this straight, it’s okay to voice an evil lion (Scar) who causes his own brother’s death and nearly his nephew’s, as well (in a kids movie, no less), but wearing the face of another human is not okay!? Irons missed out on a movie that swept the Oscars and is best remembered for being an animated kitty.

Hugh Jackman – James Bond (Casino Royale)

On top of playing everyone’s favourite adamantium-infused mutant, Jackman was also offered the role of iconic spy James Bond. He passed on the part, saying he wasn’t ready to hold down two so very notable characters at the same time… then went on to play freakin’ Jean Valjean! Okay, the Les Miserables protagonist isn’t on the same level as the other two, but I have to get something for sitting through that drudgery. On a positive note, Daniel Craig has been perfect as Bond, thus far.

Jackman as Bond could have worked!

Russell Crowe – Wolverine (X-Men)

Speaking of Wolfy, Crowe was originally pegged to play the age-unknown Logan/Wolverine. Rumour has it (or at least the rumour I made up) that Crowe was unable to grow the sideburns necessary for the character and therefore abandoned the project, not wanting to lose any legitimacy if he had used make-up or special effects instead. Crowe and Jackman would later play bitter enemies in Les Mis, with Crowe using his turned down role as inspiration for his hatred towards Jackman’s character.

Dave Chappelle – Bubba (Forrest Gump)

While he has since gone on to have a highly acclaimed TV show (as well as his highly-publicized meltdown and leaving said show), Chappelle was originally offered the role of Bubba in Forrest Gump. Had he taken the part, Chappelle would now have numerous restaurants around the United States in his honour. Perhaps he passed on the character because the slim comedian just couldn’t put back enough shrimp to justify Bubba’s obsession with the seafood.

Jake Gyllenhaal – Jake Sully (Avatar)

Gyllenhaal did finally get to play a cripple (spoiler alert) in Source Code, but he missed out on the Avatar money train and getting to be a computer animated blue guy fighting a mechanized army to save FernGully, the last rainforest. Sam Worthington snatched up the role, which he will reprise for 2016’s Avatar 2 (which has the working subtitle ‘Blue Man Group Rides Again’). It should be noted that Matt Damon also rejected the offer for Avatar.

Drink #273: The Wink

1 oz Gin (I used Tanqueray)
0.5 oz Triple Sec
0.25 oz Absinthe
Splash of Simple Syrup
Dash of Peychaud Bitters
Garnish with Lemon Twist

With all the hype recently about who turned down the male lead in 50 Shades of Grey and who eventually accepted the role, it will be interesting to see if there are any regrets in the future. Menopausal women love this garbage, so I smell a big money franchise.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2 Sips out of 5):
This drink is pretty strong and bitter, with the Triple Sec and Simple Syrup only able to do so much to sweeten the mix. After some ice dilution, the cocktail tasted slightly better. It was nice to finally use the Peychaud Bitters Mrs. Sip picked up for me in New Orleans, but I hope to find better recipes to use it in, in the future.

September 29 – Negroni

Posted on September 29, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Bittersweet

There are some legendary roles that have been passed up by actors and actresses for various reasons. That probably made some of these folks pretty bitter… let’s take a look!:

Tom Selleck – Indiana Jones (Raiders of the Lost Ark)

The Magnum P.I. star and his moustache were slated to play the role of archeologist Indiana Jones, but Selleck wasn’t allowed to vacate his TV role long enough to film the movie. The role went to Harrison Ford instead and three sequels followed. Selleck has done okay since, but lost out on playing such a treasured character. At least Selleck didn’t have to suffer through the backlash The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull received.

Molly Ringwald – Vivian (Pretty Woman) / Molly (Ghost)

The 1980’s icon missed the boat on a couple big roles in 1990 including Vivian in Pretty Woman and Molly in Ghost, played by Julia Roberts and Demi Moore respectively. Instead, Ringwald was living and acting in France. When she returned stateside, she had parts in TV movies and series but hasn’t done anything of note since her heyday decades ago. Roberts and Moore on the other hand enjoyed strong careers after these movies.

Will Smith – Neo (The Matrix)

I am certainly not a fan of The Matrix trilogy of movies and apparently, neither was Smith. The Fresh Prince turned down the character of Neo, saying he found the script too hard to follow. Instead, Smith would go on to make Wild Wild West, a universally panned film, around the same time. Smith has also admitted that Keanu Reeves was perfect for the role, which I take to mean the character was always intended to be one-dimensional, monotone, and boring.

Mel Gibson – Bruce Wayne/Batman (Batman)

With all the uproar over the selection of Ben Affleck to play Batman, it’s interesting to note actors who previously passed on the iconic role. Gibson turned down the offer for Tim Burton’s 1989 film, believing the movie would be a flop… and this is all before his high-profile meltdown. Michael Keaton, of course, stepped up to the plate and knocked it out of the park before the franchise took a downswing with Val Kilmer and George Clooney behind the mask.

Sean Connery – Gandalf (Lord of the Rings)

The former James Bond legend passed on the role of Gandalf, reasoning that he didn’t “get” fantasy (because, you know, the James Bond plots are super realistic) and instead went on to make The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, a movie that involves superheroes and is based on comics. Yup, that seems much more grounded in reality. Connery was paid $17 million for his part in the League, but it also pushed him to retire from acting. Had he accepted the Gandalf role and the offered 15% of the box office, he could have made $400 million through the trilogy!

Denzel Washington – Det. David Mills (Se7en)

Denzel reportedly turned down the role later played by Brad Pitt, saying the movie was too dark. Apparently, he later regretted passing on the part, but he did alright for himself eventually, with an Oscar win for Training Day. Se7en launched Pitt into superstardom and also paired him with director David Fincher. Over the years, the two would also combine their efforts for Fight Club and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

Kevin Costner – Andy Dufresne (The Shawshank Redemption)

Costner was huge in the early 90’s and his acceptance of the Andy Dufresne role would have helped him avoid the total bomb that became his Waterworld passion project. After Waterworld, it took quite some time for Costner to rid himself of the stench of failure (must have been some stinky water on that set) and some could argue he’s never fully recovered. Tim Robbins took the Andy Dufresne part and went on to enjoy a renaissance of sorts.

Drink #272: Negroni

1 oz Campari
1 oz Gin (I used Bombay Sapphire East)
1 oz Sweet Vermouth
Garnish with an Orange Twist

I sincerely hope that every actor and actress whose career was launched by one of these roles originally turned down sends that person some kind of gift basket each year, thanking them for their poor judgment and decision making. Join us tomorrow for part two of this franchise!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (1.5 Sips out of 5):
I knew going into this cocktail that I wasn’t going to like it very much. I find Campari’s bitterness to be too harsh and the Sweet Vermouth wasn’t able to bring it back to a tolerable level. I’m unclear as to why this has become such a classic cocktail. I guess there are enough people out there that prefer bitter drinks.

September 27 – No Clue

Posted on September 27, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Question Master

The Sip Advisor is one of the world’s greatest philosophers. I spend hours each day pondering questions that need to be answered. One of the great issues I’ve been wrestling with for a while now is why do movie theatres not sell potato chips? Like the title of today’s feature drink, I just have no clue!

I believe popcorn to be an inferior product. Getting kernels stuck in my teeth, gums, and throat are completely unpleasant experiences. As Mrs. Sip purchased her usual order of popcorn (with Junior Caramels hidden in her purse to be added) and asked if I wanted anything, I ruffled my brow and contemplated my options.

Should I ask for an expensive chocolate bar or bag of candy? What about a burger, hot dog, or pizza? No, I want potato chips. That would really hit the spot right now.

Except, there are no potato chips to be found at the theatre.

Perhaps theatre operators believe the consumption of chips will be too loud… but eating popcorn isn’t a quiet activity and most locations do sell nacho chips (with that gross, but for some reason tempting cheese sauce).

No, I think what’s going on here is that the popcorn lobbyists know the second chips become available within the hallowed halls of the movie theatre, their business will completely dry up and disappear. This could send the world into some sort of recession, but we can thank the noble potato farmer for pulling the entire world onto its back and out of despair.

Popcorn is relatively cheap to produce and can be marked up extremely (not that theatres instinctively mark up their products!) for a higher profit margin. Money, the root of all popcorn evil!

Upon further examination, I couldn’t find any explanation as to why chips were barred from theatres, but I found an interesting post on a travel site (one which I refuse to mention by name because they ripped off this site’s moniker!) where patrons complained about chips (or crisps as they are known in the U.K.) being sold at productions of The Phantom of the Opera, in London.

If glorious chippies can be consumed in a setting with live actors… thespians, even… why can they not be enjoyed in a movie theatre?

And consider this dismaying fact: a large-sized bag of popcorn (unbuttered!) at the theatre contains the fat content of two Big Mac burgers! Those chips, deep-fried or otherwise don’t look so bad now, do they?

Drink #270: No Clue

2 oz Vodka
1.5 oz Triple Sec
Top with Dr. Pepper
Garnish with Strawberry

I’m imposing a boycott on movie theatres until my precious potato chips are desegregated from the snack population. Until then, I will happily crunch away on the glorious treat, in the comfort of my own home. And so begins the standoff!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I love drinks with Dr. Pepper and this recipe was no different. Triple Sec was a nice compliment to the cherry-flavoured soda. I used an upside down Strawberry to garnish the drink, as I thought it kind of looked like a dunce hat.

September 25 – Mojo

Posted on September 25, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Aphrodisiastic

I’m the kind of guy that’s ready to go at all hours of the day. I don’t need any food, drink, or other item to ‘put me in the mood’. I’ve come to understand that not everyone is as awesome as the Sip Advisor and therefore, I’m here to help all you little sippers out there that need an extra boost to get your mojo fired up. Here is an examination of some of the many items purported to help with libido!:

Chocolate – Named an aphrodisiac by women just so they can stuff their faces with the stuff and have an excuse to do so. In the end, they just complain they’re too full and not in any mood for making whoopee.

Oysters – Well, I suppose the whole ‘slimy substance travelling down your throat’ could be practice for fun times later?

Spicy Peppers – These are sure to simulate some part of the body!

Snake Blood – Why not drink the snake’s venom, as well!? I think the only reason snake’s blood is an aphrodisiac is because once you kill one, your heart is pumping so fast you’d be ready to bed a rhino.

Dried Tiger Penis – Oh sure, this will be an easy find. Tiger’s are cuddly and approachable right!? Just like stuffed animals!

No, not that Tiger!

Bull Genitals – Why do all these cultures think that consumption of animal junk will make them more virile?

Spanish Fly – The European Blister Beetle can apparently provide a long-lasting erection that will later require medical attention. Is it worth it?

Fetal Duck Egg – Thanks for this haunting image, Asia. Apparently the fetal duck is most potent after 17 days, begging the question: who tests this stuff?

Stewed Crocodile – Sure crocs are cold-blooded killers, but I really don’t see that translating into sexual prowess, unless you plan on holding your lover underwater until they’re unconscious first.

Looks like kitty got the message!

Leaf-Cutter Ants – At least they’re supposed to taste like bacon when roasted.

Deep-Fried Tarantula – I’m pretty sure Mrs. Sip would kick me out of our place if I even suggested deep-fried tarantula for snack time. I bet it won’t be long before this delicacy is being served at fairs around the world, right next to those deep-fried Mars bars!

Ambergris – This solid, waxy substance is either regurgitated or defecated by sperm whales… you know what, you already lost me…

Pumpkin Pie – So I guess people are only going to get laid around Thanksgiving… at least they’ll have something to be thankful for!

Pineapple – I always told Mrs. Sip that she should get into Hawaiian pizza. It’s tough when you’re always right!

Drink #268: Mojo

1 oz Rum
1 oz Cherry Liqueur
Top with Beer
Splash of Cola
Splash of Sweet & Sour Mix
Splash of Orange Juice
Splash of Pineapple Juice
Garnish with Tiger Penis (kidding!)

Why can’t things like hamburgers and hot dogs be aphrodisiacs? Why does it always have to be the weird stuff!? I’m going to go find me some ambergris and pester Mrs. Sip for a little roll in the hay!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
Wow, this cocktail was good. I was weary of how it would turn out given how many ingredients it called for and which ingredients you were expected to be mixing together, but I really enjoyed the finished product. Cola and Beer mix together much better than I could have ever imagined!

September 24 – Twister

Posted on September 24, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Roll the Die

Yesterday I discussed my favourite board and card games and sticking with that topic, these are the games I’ve never played. If anyone wants to join me and do a couple rounds of Candy Land or something, just give me a shout. If you’re willing to foot my travel costs, we’ll get this done!

Twister

Never have I ever played Twister… hmmm, I should say that for my next game of Never Have I Ever! I’m not really sure I want to play either, unless it’s just Mrs. Sip and me and clothing is optional. That is one tangled mess I wouldn’t mind being part of. Otherwise, I’ve always appreciated my own personal space and that of others. It could make a fun drinking game through, with those who lose being punished with shots!

Mouse Trap

As a youngster, I owned Mouse Trap, but I’m certain I never actually played a full contest of the crazy contraption game. By the time you had all the traps set up, which could be a total pain to do, you just wanted to play with that and trap all the mousies. Worst of all, the contraption often didn’t work properly. Does anyone out there also remember Grape Escape? It was similar to Mouse Trap, but you were trying to crush Play-Doh grapes with different devices.

Balderdash

With such a wicked name, you think I would have tried my luck at the classic word definition game. As a writer, I feel I would get upset when I suggested a definition for one of the words and it wasn’t selected as the correct one. That’s when I throw all my cards up in the air, drop a couple dozen curse words, and storm out of the party!

Hungry Hungry Hippos

I know what you’re saying: “Surely, you, you stud of studs, must have played Hungry Hungry Hippos at some point in your life.” Sadly, while I remember having friends who had the game and I remember using the hippo to gobble up the little white ball, I’ve never played an actual competitive contest. Something new for the bucket list, I guess. How cool would it be to play a life-sized version of this game? Jumanji!

Chess

I whole-heartedly believe that Chess is beyond my learning abilities. I tried going through a computer tutorial one time, but it didn’t help matters. Once the game started, I just sat there staring at the screen. Then I played an entire round via the computer “suggest a move” option. I still lost! That’s why I don’t believe I’ve ever played the game before.

Candy Land

The children’s classic Candy Land has never been played by the Sip Advisor, despite his love of candy and other confectionary treats. My version of Candy Land is a shopping trip to Walmart, followed by gorging myself on all the delicious treats I’ve just picked up. If we need a little action, I pretend Mrs. Sip is trying to chase me down to steal my goods and I have maneuver to avoid her attacks!

Dungeons & Dragons

In actuality, we are all geeks in our own special way. That said, I can fully certify that I have never played a role-playing game of this magnitude. I have thoroughly enjoyed the episodes of Big Bang Theory that have centered on the fellas playing the dungeon master’s quest. I have to admit, though, that I’m not really into games that you should remain sober for… too much thinking = bad.

Nightmare

This classic VCR-based board game (remember those!?) was meant to spook the crap out of you, but most people just found the video scenes, particularly the host ‘Gatekeeper’ character, to be comedic. Still, I’d love to turn the lights out one time, throw on this game and see if it is at all scary. I bet I end up having nightmares… who wants in on this action!

Drink #267: Twister

2 oz Vodka (I used Pinnacle Strawberry-Kiwi)
Top with half Orange Juice and half Lemon-Lime Soda
Splash of Strawberry-Banana Juice
Dash of Lime Juice
Garnish with Orange Slices

I hope you enjoyed this nostalgic look back at board and card games as much as I did. Which games have you never played? Together we can end that injustice!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This drink was an interesting mix of flavours thanks to all the different juices. The Strawberry-Kiwi Vodka was a nice touch and those notes came through the strongest.

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

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