October 17 – Devil’s Fire

Posted on October 17, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

Towns in Turmoil

As we continue our month of spooks here at The Sip Advisor, I wanted to delve into the subject of ghost towns. While some rise from the ashes to become tourist attractions, others remain as haunting reminders of what once was and never will be again:

#5: Pompeii, Italy

This UNESCO World Heritage Site was once a bustling Roman city, with a population of 11,000 people. That all changed when Mount Vesuvius erupted in 79 AD, burying the city and its inhabitants under four to six meters of ash. This basically froze the victims in time, their bodies sealed in a plaster-like cast, in the position they died. The site wasn’t rediscovered until 1599 and has become a popular tourist attraction. The city’s tragic story was used for the 2014 historical disaster film Pompeii, although it was generally panned by critics and audiences.

#4: Theme Parks

Amusement parks are supposed to be sites of happiness and thrills, but many have become deserted wastelands around the world, due to various issues. For example, Six Flags New Orleans was flooded by Hurricane Katrina in 2005 and has never reopened. Even the Disney company isn’t immune to park abandonments. Discovery Island (a wildlife viewing resort) and the adjacent River Country water park at Disney World were closed in 1999 and 2001, respectively. The reasoning for both closures isn`t clear, with speculation ranging from a change in Florida laws to the discovery of harmful organisms.

#3: Sanzhi, Taiwan

Originally intended to be a luxury resort, featuring futuristic living pods (sometimes referred to as UFO houses), the project was never completed due to deaths during the construction process and funds for the development running dry. Rumors persist in the areas that surround Sanzhi, that the site is now haunted by those who died trying to build the resort. After remaining dormant for nearly 30 years, the pods were demolished between 2008 and 2010 and there are plans to build a new resort and water park where the pods once stood.

#2: Oradour-sur-Glane, France

While most ghost towns go bust because of financial reasons, the French village of Oradour-sur-Glane had a much more ominous fate. On June 10, 1944, German soldiers attacked the site, killing 642 of the town’s 663 people. This included men who were shot in their legs so they would perish slower and women and children who were gunned down while trying to escape from a church. The ruins of the original town have now become a memorial site, while a second village was built nearby, following the end of World War II.

#1: Pripyat, Ukraine

The Chernobyl nuclear disaster and following contamination made the young city of Pripyat, where the Chernobyl workers lived, virtually uninhabitable. Pripyat was only 16 years old at the time of the tragedy, when all of its 45,000 to 50,000 population were forced to evacuate. Some of the most disturbing images from Pripyat are those of its amusement park, which was only open for a few hours before the evacuation, as the accident happened April 26, 1986, with the park scheduled to open to the public on May 1, 1986.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Devil’s Fire

Rim glass with Cinnamon Sugar
0.5 oz Jim Beam Black Cherry Bourbon
0.5 oz Fireball Whiskey

Interestingly, a number of ghost towns have become popular sites for filming. This includes Real de Catorce, Mexico (The Mexican, starring Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts) and Craco, Italy (The Passion of the Christ, directed by Mel Gibson).

October 10 – Clown Corruption

Posted on October 10, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

Clowning Around

Clowns are downright creepy. Hell, serial killer John Wayne Gacey was one, performing for youngsters at parties in the same neighbourhoods where he stalked his prey. I’ve never been a fan of clowns, but at the same time, I can’t say I necessarily fear them. There are many who do, though. So many, that it even has its own term: coulrophobia. Here are some of the clowns that cause our anxiety:

#5: Doink the Clown

When Doink the Clown was first introduced into the then-WWF, he was sadistic and violent, with a nasty scowl that frightened audiences. The character lost its way when he was turned into a practical jokester good guy and paired with a midget doppelganger, dubbed Dink. Perhaps one of the reasons for the personality change was the departure from the company of original portrayer, Matt Osbourne, who seamlessly made Doink a figment of most kids’ nightmares, in the child friendly wrestling production.

#4: Twisty – American Horror Story

Mrs. Sip and I have only watched a couple episodes of American Horror Story: Freakshow, but it’s been enough to know that Twisty deserves a spot on this list. Some of the first images of the season show this deranged, psychopathic monster stalking a couple teenage lovers, before bludgeoning the boy. Although Twisty is a “retired” clown, he’s clearly not ready to abandon the makeup and he has a vendetta for the recently arrived freak show that is now inhabiting his town.

#3: Sweet Tooth

What do you get when you combine an insane, serial killer clown, with a missile-equipped ice cream truck? Twisted Metal, of course! Sweet Tooth’s backstory includes being cursed with a head that is perpetually on fire, helping him become an icon and mascot of not only the Twisted Metal franchise, but also the Sony Playstation console. Never again will the sounds of an ice cream truck conjure images of pleasure. Those have been replaced by mayhem, screams, and ‘Game Over’ captions.

#2: The Joker

There are many psychopaths among the Caped Crusader’s rogue gallery, but The Joker is chief among them. The ‘Clown Prince of Crime’ is not to be taken lightly, despite his festive appearance, as he has been responsible for the death of Jason Todd (the second Robin) and crippling Barbara Gordon (aka Batgirl), among other horrendous atrocities. No matter who portrays the character, The Joker continues to be a memorable and uber-creepy clown.

#1: Pennywise

From the mind of Stephen King, comes this disturbing tale of lost innocence and a murderous clown, who feeds on the fear of his victims. With spiked teeth, long claws, and an appetite for anxiety, it’s easy for Pennywise to create the panic that nourishes him. The made-for-TV movie still haunts many little sippers of my generation, even though the first half of the film – setting up the story – is so much better than the second half, where the now adults battle and defeat the maniacal clown.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Clown Corruption (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

Rim glass with Sprinkles
1 oz Karnival Vodka
0.5 oz Jagermeister Spice

The Cirque du Soleil clowns deserve some mention. While providing comedic relief, they’re super creepy and their gibberish language doesn’t help matters. Same goes for Ronald McDonald, who rumour has it, murdered all the McDonaldland characters we never see anymore!

October 3 – Falling Star

Posted on October 3, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

Star Stunted

For the month of October, we will be looking at all things scary and perhaps nothing is more chilling than having to watch a movie starring one of these “actors”. Without further ado, here are some of the worst movie stars in the history of cinema:

#5: Madonna

I have never been much of a Madonna fan, so I’m even more perplexed when she’s been able to venture outside of music (what brought her to the dance) and into other artistic realms. The ‘Queen of Pop’ has done some good with films such as Evita and I did like Madge in A League of Their Own, but a collection of poor performances in movies like Shanghai Surprise, The Next Best Thing, and Swept Away reminds us of where she truly belongs. When you can’t even successfully act alongside your husbands (Sean Penn and later Guy Ritchie), then who can you work with.

#4: Pauly Shore

How Pauly Shore’s brand of comedy was ever popular is one of life’s greatest unsolved mysteries. Granted, I would consider his movies Encino Man and, to a lesser degree, Son in Law, classics of my childhood. Shore eventually wore out his welcome though, with dismal films like In the Army Now, Jury Duty, and Bio-Dome. I guess there’s only so many times you can hear “Hey, buuuuuuddddyyyy,” before it loses all meaning. Shore’s fall from fame was quick, leading to a 2003 mockumentary called Pauly Shore is Dead, which sees the comedian fake his own death to make his movies more popular.

#3: Hulk Hogan

Most professional wrestlers, despite the nature of their business, are horrible actors. And yet somehow, the mustachioed Hulk Hogan has a laundry list of filmography credits, including some of the worst movies of all-time in Suburban Commando, Mr. Nanny, and Santa with Muscles. The popularity of Hulkamania (prior to racist rants) allowed Hogan to branch into the movie industry, but he should have stuck with the squared circle. Sure, things all got started off okay with Hogan’s small role as Thunderlips in Rocky III, but they quickly went off the rails following that appearance.

#2: Tom Green

While the Canadian comedian has been good in a couple movies (Road Trip, for example), as more of an ensemble character, than a lead, some of his work has been absolutely atrocious. Particularly films such as Freddy Got Fingered (one of the worst movie titles ever, for starters) and Stealing Harvard. Like Pauly Shore, Green was launched into orbit by MTV, prior to crash landing, but his fame was so high at one point that he was picked for Saturday Night Live hosting duties. This may have been largely due to his marriage to Drew Barrymore, but who can really tell.

#1: Shaquille O’Neal

When you receive a Razzie Award for basically depicting yourself, are other acting opportunities necessary? Shaquille O’Neal couldn’t even pass mustard in the basketball flick Blue Chips and yet still received starring roles in Kazaam and Steel, both of which were universally panned by critics and audiences, alike. Shaq has recently made minor appearances in a number of Adam Sandler films, and that’s where he’s best suited if wants to continue acting. It’s not often that one person can lay claim to being in some of the worst movies of all-time, as well as a video game (Shaq Fu) and musical releases (a number of rap CDs).

Super Saturday Shot Day: Falling Star

1 oz Sambuca
Float Whiskey on Top

Honourable mentions go to artists like Britney Spears, Mariah Carey, and Kelly Clarkson, who only avoid making the main list because they knew well enough to get out of the movie industry after one horrible outing. Sadly, we can’t say the same for action hero Steven Seagal…

September 26 – Capital Punishment

Posted on September 26, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

Special Scribes

As we continue to celebrate the gloriousness that is the Sip Advisor (with my recent birthday and all), today we will look at the greatest writers out there in the land of fiction. Write-on my brothers and sisters!

#5: Jack Torrance – The Shining

It seemed like a good idea for writer Jack Torrance to take a job as a caretaker, looking after the massive Overlook Hotel estate in the Colorado mountains over the winter off-season… especially when he could use the solitude to get down to work. Only problem is the silence and seclusion turned an already damaged man into a complete psychopath, set on hunting down his own wife and son. Remember, “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy!”

#4: Brian Griffin – Family Guy

This often pretentious dog considers himself a future legendary scribe, except for the fact that for the longest time, he only talked about writing the great American novel, never sitting down to actually pen it. When he finally does, Faster Than the Speed of Love, is shredded by critics. His follow-up self-help title Wish It, Want It, Do It becomes a best seller, but the fame and fortune for Brian is fleeting, as he lets it all go to his head and alienates those that love him.

#3: Paul Sheldon – Misery

I would never expect my work to get me into trouble (unless I give a liquor company a bad review and they boycott serving me!), but that’s exactly what happens to Paul Sheldon, after he decides to end his popular series of romance novels. He just so happens to also be in the custody of his ‘number one fan’ Annie Wilkes, when this conclusion is published and that leads to a whirlwind of pain, instead of being nursed back to health by the former medical professional.

#2: Jessica Fletcher – Murder, She Wrote

It’s pretty easy to get ideas for your best-selling mystery novels when real-life murders seem to follow you around like you’re death personified. Jessica Fletcher may reside in the sleepy, rural town of Cabot Cove (where there’s an out-of-proportion murder rate), but thanks to her success as an author, she often travels the world and… you guessed it, comes across even more brutality. At least she’s always able to solve the crime, outwitting bumbling police officers everywhere.

#1: Dr. Watson – Sherlock Holmes

Along with being a sidekick and companion, Dr. John Watson also took it upon himself to record the extensive case files of Sherlock Holmes. As a fan of a good mystery, I wonder where we would be without the writings of Dr. Watson (who was originally to be named ‘Ormond Sacker’). Dr. Watson becomes a biographer of sorts for Holmes, largely because he can’t stand others taking and receiving credit for the solving of high-profile crimes.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Capital Punishment

Rim glass with Crushed Nuts
0.5 oz Bourbon
0.5 oz Amaretto

Some honourable mentions go to poets Mikey Blumberg (Recess) and Diane Chambers (Cheers), journalists Paul Hennessy (8 Simple Rules) and Ray Barone (Everybody Loves Raymond), crime novelist Richard Castle (Castle), columnist Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City), and TV writer Rob Petrie (Dick Van Dyke Show). May the words flow freely from your minds!

September 19 – Birthday Cake

Posted on September 19, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

Best of 1983

As the Sip Advisor prepares to celebrate another birthday, I thought it would be a good idea to look back at the best of my birth year: 1983. It was a wonderful year… or so I’m told. Of course, the greatest moment of the year was the birth of yours truly, but I’m sure some other events could be defined as momentous. Let’s take a look back in history!

#5: Sony Camcorder

Just think of where amateur pornography would be without the advent of camcorders… scary thought, no? In all seriousness, this put the power to better record the greatest moments of our lives, in the hands of consumers. Despite this, the Sip Family didn’t finally jump on the video camera wagon until 2001. I’m not sure exactly why things happened like that, but that’s the story and we’re sticking to it.

#4: Plinko on The Price is Right

As a lifelong Price is Right fan, I’m honoured to learn that one of my favourite games on the show, Plinko, was first unleashed on the world in 1983. This game of chance sees contestants drop a disc, from high above, down a board with pegs that cause the disc to bounce around. At the bottom, are a number of slots, with varying money amounts. When all the contestant’s discs have been used, they are awarded whatever the Plinko gods have blessed them with.

#3: Chicken McNugget

Mrs. Sip’s first favourite food as a youngster was all possible thanks to the product’s introduction in 1983. Folks, we’re through the looking glass here and talking about the McDonald’s Chicken McNugget. While I don’t order them as much as I did when I was younger, the Chicken McNugget is still placed before a hungry Sip Advisor from time to time. Of course, the McNuggetini wouldn’t be possible without these delicious chicken chunks!

#2: Video Games

What would eventually be released in North America in 1985 as the Nintendo Entertainment System, first hit shelves in Japan in 1983, as the Famicom, or Family Computer. Along with the home console, the game Mario Bros. debuted, including the first appearances of Luigi and the Koopa Troopers. While there was some good in the video game world in 1983, the year was also host to an industry crash, which took years to recover from.

#1: Technology

1983 brought forth one of the greatest inventions in the history of the world. In fact, every person reading this right now is using this creation. We’re talking about the freakin’ internet! Other technological advancements to hit the world in my birth year included the first cell phone call and the release of Microsoft Word, which has been a beacon of enjoyment and employment for the Sip Advisor.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Birthday Cake

0.5 oz Citron Vodka
0.5 oz Frangelico
Garnish with a Lemon Wedge

Of course, there are some things 1983 brought us that we didn’t really need. Sweet Valley High books, for one… minivans would be another. Neither compares, though, to crack cocaine and the El Niño weather pattern!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (??? Sips out of 5):
xxxx

September 12 – Life Flight

Posted on September 13, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

Frenzied Flights

As Mrs. Sip and I prepare for a 36-hour flight itinerary from Vancouver, Canada to Livingstone, Zambia, I am reminded of the many plane rides from hell that have entertained us over the years. Hopefully the two of us won’t have to deal with any convicts, terrorists, or venomous snakes, among other obstacles, and the journey is nothing but smooth sailings. These folks weren’t so lucky!

#5: Airplane!

Food on flights is pretty awful a majority of the time and mass food poisoning is only one of the many mishaps the passengers of Flight #209 had to deal with. Even their pilot was stricken by the illness. Personally, I’m still hesitant to touch airline meals after getting sick following our flight from Morocco to London last year and it’s not like I ever craved the barely-passable-as-food substances anyway.

#4: Snakes on a Plane

While I’m fascinated by snakes, I’m also terrified of the creatures. If I was aboard a flight where dozens of the poisonous reptiles were unleashed (and stimulated to attack), the Sip Advisor would be hysterical and yes, there would be just as much cursing coming from my mouth as Samuel L. Jackson’s. You know, just minus the heroic courage and quotable punchlines!

#3: Con Air

As if snakes weren’t bad enough, imagine a plane full of violent criminals. That’s certainly not pleasant, but on the upside, you’re the one wrongly-convicted dude amongst them and you’ve served your time and just want to get home to your woman and baby girl. Of course, things don’t go according to plan and not even the worst southern accent in the history of film will help you!

#2: Air Force One

The concept of terrorists aboard an airliner became all too real, thanks to the 9/11 attacks. Back in 1997, though, it was largely Hollywood action fodder. So, Indiana Jones… er, I mean President James Marshall (played by Harrison Ford), finds himself aboard the Commander-in-Chief’s private plane, except he’s not alone. He’s joined by members of a Russian terrorist group and they’re looking for a bargaining chip.

#1: Twilight Zone

One of the worst aspects of air travel is your fellow passengers. They can be rude, smelly, anxious, obnoxious, and inconsiderate. I’ve even been on a few flights where passengers have nearly come to blows. What would be even worse, would be a passenger complaining about a monster being on the wing of your plane… especially if you’re trying to grab a little shuteye. The crazy part is the guy was actually right – dun dun dun!

Super Saturday Shot Day: Life Flight

0.5 oz White Rum
0.5 oz Southern Comfort
0.5 oz Jagermeister

It should also be noted that Launchpad McQuack of DuckTales and Darkwing Duck fame has one of the worst pilot records in history. Sure, once he’s up in the air, he’s a deft pilot. Problem is, he’s never met a landing that he liked, making for a white-knuckle ride every time!

September 5 – Freight Train

Posted on September 5, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

Chooooooo-Wooooooo

Today marks Pa Sip’s birthday and in honour of him, we’re going to look at some of the greatest fictional trains. Pa Sip has long been a hardcore rail fan, so what better way to salute the man I shared some of my first drinks with!

#5: Casey Jr. Circus Train – Dumbo

“Casey Junior’s coming down the track, coming down the track, with a smoky stack. Hear him puffing, coming round the hill, Casey’s here to thrill, every Jack and Jill.” The fun part about this Disney parks attraction (based on the 1941 movie Dumbo) is finding yourself in the ‘Wild Animals’ cage. That’s exactly where a few of us ended up after nearly getting booted out of the resort, many moons ago!

#4: Thomas the Tank Engine – Thomas & Friends

Created in 1945, by Rev. Wilbert Awdry for his The Railway Series of children’s stories, Thomas the Tank Engine quickly became the most popular character, becoming the titular train when the books were adapted into a TV series in 1979. Thomas, along with all the other charatcers from The Rail Series, was based on a real vehicle, in this case a London, Brighton and South Coast Railway Billinton 0-6-0 E2 Class.

#3: Orient Express – Murder on the Orient Express

While this was a real train and route (originally spanning Paris to Istanbul, existing from 1883 to 2009), it is perhaps best known for the fictional work, Murder on the Orient Express, written by mystery novelist Agatha Christie. The book, written in 1934, sees detective Hercule Poirot forced to solve a murder aboard the train. If reading isn’t your thing, the novel has been adapted into a film three separate times.

#2: Polar Express – The Polar Express

Written and illustrated in 1985 by Chris Van Allsburg, this train received mainstream attention with the release of a movie based on the book in 2004. The locomotive picks up children on Christmas Eve and takes them to the North Pole for front row seats to Christmas prep. Allsburg based the train on one he played on as a child (the 1225, like 12/25), which was used for the film, including recorded sounds.

#1: Hogwarts Express – Harry Potter

Connecting the Muggle (real) world to the land of Hogsmeade, this is the locomotive that gets future wizards to and from school each year. To board the train, one must have access to the hard-to-find Platform 9¾ at King’s Cross Station in London. This magical train has been turned into an attraction at the Universal Studios resorts and in Florida actually takes guests between the two parks.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Freight Train

0.5 oz Tequila
0.5 oz Jack Daniel’s Whiskey
Garnish with a Lime Wedge

It’s interesting that almost all of these trains were first introduced in book form. Perhaps Mrs. Sip is onto something with all her reading and such. Anyhoo, happy birthday Pa Sip… I hope you have an amazing one!

August 29 – After Work Special

Posted on August 29, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

Lame Labour

Admittedly, the Sip Advisor isn’t content with his current career. Apparently, I’m not alone, as there is a lot of literature out there about why people hate their occupation and what they should do about it. With Labour Day rapidly approaching, here are some other folks that really hated their job:

#5: Walter White – Breaking Bad

Before moving to a life of crime and meth production, Walter was a high school chemistry teacher. And it’s not that there’s anything wrong with that, but he had previously been on the cutting edge of the science world, before selling his share in an idea that would eventually become quite profitable. Walt is so underpaid as a teacher that he has to take a side job as a carwash cashier and when he’s diagnosed with cancer, he has to enter into the seedy world of drug manufacturing, in order to make enough cash to keep up his treatment.

#4: Peter Gibbons – Office Space

Out of all the entries on this list, I probably identify most with Peter, who is frustrated with his place in life and the lack of pleasure his mundane, dead end career brings him. His dealings with his boss are excruciating and he has no other option but to take all the crap. Flanked by his colleagues Michael and Samir, the trio try to take a small cut from each transaction coming through the company, only to have their program give them a much larger slice than they intended. At least they got to destroy the printer that was always breaking down.

#3: Jim Halpert – The Office

In a similar fashion to Peter from Office Space, Jim is young and talented, but stuck in a job that pays the bills, while not providing the satisfaction he’s really searching for. If it wasn’t for his attraction to receptionist Pam Beasley, he probably would have bolted years earlier. I gotta say, though, working closely with your girlfriend/wife and getting to see her at all hours is something I would love to do. I know it’s not for everyone, but it’s cool with the Sip Advisor. In time, Jim figures things out and begins to pursue an interest in a start-up sports marketing company.

#2: Homer Simpson – The Simpsons

While Homer has tackled numerous jobs (boxer, sports mascot, snow plow driver, voice actor, etc.) during the show’s long run, the one he has to attend day in, day out, is one he does not enjoy. Homer was able to break free once from the Nuclear Power Plant, but with another baby on the way, was forced to return and grovel for his job back. A sign now sits in his sector, which states: “Don’t Forget: You’re Here Forever.” Homer changed the sign with photos to read “Do It For Her” in reference to daughter Maggie, the reason he had to return.

#1: Al Bundy – Married with Children

Nearly every episode of this iconic show featured woman’s shoe salesman, Al Bundy, returning from a day of work in which he didn’t get paid very well, but was verbally and sometimes physically abused by the clientele. “So a fat woman walks into the store today,” is usually how the tale began and ended with an epic struggle to fit a woman’s foot (or hoof as Al often called it) into a shoe that was too many sizes smaller than needed. So much for a guy who once had dreams of playing pro football… all until he was married with children!

Super Saturday Shot Day: After Work Special

0.5 oz Amaretto
0.5 oz Coconut Rum
Splash of Orange Juice
Splash of Pineapple Juice
Garnish with Coconut Shavings

For those out there that are working in what they love to do (or at least what they went to school for), I am absolutely jelly of you. Sadly, the Sip Advisor has to save his passions for outside of work… and I don’t even get paid for my efforts. One day, my rainbow will come though. I just have to keep my head held high and reach for the sky!

August 22 – Salty Chihuahua

Posted on August 22, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

Dog Gonnit

The Sip Advisor is a cat man and if I’m being completely honest, I’m not very comfortable around dogs. It is National Dog Day in the U.S., this Wednesday, though and that got me thinking about what I’d do in the future if my little sippers wanted a puppy. So, here are the Top 5 canine breeds the Sip Advisor would make an exception for… in the name of love!

#5: St. Bernard

I know what you’re thinking. The only reason the Sip Advisor wants a St. Bernard is so that he doesn’t have to retrieve liquor on his own accord. What you don’t realize is that these dogs also come in handy if I get buried under an avalanche of empty bottles and cans! The St. Bernard – famously portrayed in the Beethoven series of movies – is incredibly adept at rescuing folks trapped by snow. Legends also claim that a St. Bernard saved the Manchester United football club from bankruptcy in the early 1900’s, when J.H. Davis purchased the team after unsuccessfully trying to acquire captain Harry Stafford’s dog.

#4: Collie

These regal, beautiful looking pups always put a smile on my face. I’m specifically thinking of the Shetland Sheepdog (or Sheltie), but other members of the breed are totally welcome in the Sip Advisor’s good books. Border Collies are also famous for their search and rescue work, so I’m beginning to see a bit of a trend here. I mean, how can you not like this type of dog? Hell, Lassie is even a Collie… and a Rough Collie at that! Shelties are highly intelligent and to be honest, would likely outwit me!

#3: Shar Pei

One of my favourite fictional dogs of all time is Satchel Pooch of the comic strip Get Fuzzy. The lovable oaf is a Shar Pei-Labrador Retriever cross, but we’ll forgive him for an ancestry he can’t control! My favourite aspect of Shar Peis is their rolly-polly body type and wrinkled fur, particularly as puppies. They look so adorable, especially when they snuggle up into a tight ball and almost disappear into themselves. As the name suggests, the breed comes from China and translates to “sand skin”.

#2: Jack Russell Terrier

Perhaps the most famous terrier was the ever-animated Eddie on the hit comedy Frasier. Played by a father and son duo for the duration of the show’s run, the dog was heavily featured on the sitcom. Eddie’s not alone, though, joined by other iconic Terriers, including Wishbone, Milo (The Mask), and Uggie (Nintendo spokesdog). One issue that could arise is that these dogs have a high energy level and are in constant need of exercise and stimulation, which may not jive with the Sip Advisor’s preferred lazy lifestyle!

#1: Golden Retriever

This is another breed of bigger dogs that I’d be cool with, given their awesome personalities and behaviour patterns. I’m also down with labs of all colours… no racism here! The Golden Retreiver seems to be the presidential dog of choice, as both Gerald Ford and Ronald Reagan brought them to the White House. The pooches’ names were Liberty and Victory, respectively. Other popular media to feature Golden Retrievers, include Up, Homeward Bound, Full House, and the Air Bud franchise, of course.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Salty Chihuahua

Rim glass with Salt
1 oz Tequila
0.5 oz Grapefruit Juice

The noble German Shepherd narrowly missed making this list. I mean, you gotta love The Littlest Hobo, particularly the theme song, which is a treasured memory from many kids’ childhoods.” Maybe tomorrow, I’ll want to settle down. Until tomorrow, the whole world is my home!”

August 15 – Time Bomb

Posted on August 15, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

Time Transport

I think it’s safe to say that we would all love to have access to a time machine. To be able to go back and fix our wrong turns or relive some of our finest moments would be an amazing ability. Now that we’ve decided we want to go back in time, all we have to choose is the vessel for our travels. Here are some of the greatest we’ve been introduced to:

#5: Phone Booth – Bill & Ted’s

When Bill and Ted desperately need to pass their history presentation (thus leading to the survival of the human race, of course!) a time machine is required to go back through the ages and learn from the legends themselves. The time machine was originally to be a 1969 Chevy van, rather than a phone booth, but that would be too close to Back to the Future. Today, none of this would be possible, given the phone booth is a thing of the past… plus, space would be kind of tight for multiple travellers.

#4: Toaster – The Simpsons

This is one of my favourite Treehouse of Horror segments, which finds Homer sent back into the time of the dinosaurs, trying not to alter anything from the past, knowing that it could have dire repercussions on his present and future. While he narrowly misses a perfect life, worrying that donuts don’t exist, he settles for an alternate reality that is close to the present he remembers, with the one difference being that the rest of his family eats with extending forked tongues, resembling a lizard.

#3: Hot Tub – Hot Tub Time Machine

I’ve always loved chilling out (or better put, warming up) in a hot tub, with a beer by my side. Had I ever experimented with the Russian energy drink Chernobly – and spilled it all over the hot tub controls – I may have ended up back in the past, reliving a portion of my younger life. At least Chevy Chase was on the case as the mysterious repairman, trying to help the gang get back to their present. I have yet to watch the sequel to this franchise, but it’s high on my ‘to do’ list for more histrionic learning.

#2: Ocarina – Legend of Zelda

How can one little instrument produce so much beautiful music… and songs that really help our hero Link! The ocarina can change day into night and vice versa, summon a horse, and make it rain (the weather, not the cash at the strip club style… although it would be entertaining to watch Link throw rubies at Princess Zelda!). Perhaps the ocarina’s most important feature is that it helps Link jump throughout time, utilizing the Song of Time. We would all love to skip those awkward puberty years!

#1: DeLorean – Back to the Future

The DeLorean can take people back into the past, as well as years into the future – so long as you can get it up to 88 miles per hour… oh, and also have access to a flux capacitor! Early drafts of the film’s script called for a laser device to induce time travel, but a vehicle was eventually incorporated into later edits, with the DeLorean selected thanks to its unique appearance. Despite the popularity the car enjoyed, following the movie’s release, production of the vehicle had already halted two years prior.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Time Bomb

1 oz Tequila
Splash of Cranberry Juice
Garnish with a Cranberry

Honourable mentions go to the TARDIS (Doctor Who), the WABAC Machine (Mr. Peabody and Sherman), Timmy’s Wheelchair (South Park), and Binary Code (Futurama). Even Superman was able to reverse time by simply flying really fast and spinning the earth in the opposite direction of what gravity dictated. If only it was that easy!

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

Category Archives: Shots & Shooters