Clowning Around

Clowns are downright creepy. Hell, serial killer John Wayne Gacey was one, performing for youngsters at parties in the same neighbourhoods where he stalked his prey. I’ve never been a fan of clowns, but at the same time, I can’t say I necessarily fear them. There are many who do, though. So many, that it even has its own term: coulrophobia. Here are some of the clowns that cause our anxiety:

#5: Doink the Clown

When Doink the Clown was first introduced into the then-WWF, he was sadistic and violent, with a nasty scowl that frightened audiences. The character lost its way when he was turned into a practical jokester good guy and paired with a midget doppelganger, dubbed Dink. Perhaps one of the reasons for the personality change was the departure from the company of original portrayer, Matt Osbourne, who seamlessly made Doink a figment of most kids’ nightmares, in the child friendly wrestling production.

#4: Twisty – American Horror Story

Mrs. Sip and I have only watched a couple episodes of American Horror Story: Freakshow, but it’s been enough to know that Twisty deserves a spot on this list. Some of the first images of the season show this deranged, psychopathic monster stalking a couple teenage lovers, before bludgeoning the boy. Although Twisty is a “retired” clown, he’s clearly not ready to abandon the makeup and he has a vendetta for the recently arrived freak show that is now inhabiting his town.

#3: Sweet Tooth

What do you get when you combine an insane, serial killer clown, with a missile-equipped ice cream truck? Twisted Metal, of course! Sweet Tooth’s backstory includes being cursed with a head that is perpetually on fire, helping him become an icon and mascot of not only the Twisted Metal franchise, but also the Sony Playstation console. Never again will the sounds of an ice cream truck conjure images of pleasure. Those have been replaced by mayhem, screams, and ‘Game Over’ captions.

#2: The Joker

There are many psychopaths among the Caped Crusader’s rogue gallery, but The Joker is chief among them. The ‘Clown Prince of Crime’ is not to be taken lightly, despite his festive appearance, as he has been responsible for the death of Jason Todd (the second Robin) and crippling Barbara Gordon (aka Batgirl), among other horrendous atrocities. No matter who portrays the character, The Joker continues to be a memorable and uber-creepy clown.

#1: Pennywise

From the mind of Stephen King, comes this disturbing tale of lost innocence and a murderous clown, who feeds on the fear of his victims. With spiked teeth, long claws, and an appetite for anxiety, it’s easy for Pennywise to create the panic that nourishes him. The made-for-TV movie still haunts many little sippers of my generation, even though the first half of the film – setting up the story – is so much better than the second half, where the now adults battle and defeat the maniacal clown.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Clown Corruption (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

• Rim glass with Sprinkles
• 1 oz Karnival Vodka
• 0.5 oz Jagermeister Spice

The Cirque du Soleil clowns deserve some mention. While providing comedic relief, they’re super creepy and their gibberish language doesn’t help matters. Same goes for Ronald McDonald, who rumour has it, murdered all the McDonaldland characters we never see anymore!