May 11 – Wedding Cake Shot

Posted on May 11, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

The Wedding March

TV show weddings are an event unto themselves. They usually feature the uniting of two characters we’ve watched fall in love together and their relationship blossom. Usually saved for season finales and in some cases series finales, the wedding episode is often an extremely important occasion. Here are some of my faves:

Andy & April/Ben & Leslie – Parks and Recreation

Parks and Rec has hosted two very memorable wedding ceremonies. First, Andy and April surprised their friends and family with their impromptu nuptials during a housewarming party. The pair had only been together a few months, but they were a very compatible match. Later on in the series, Ben and Leslie made their relationship official, in another spur of the moment ceremony, this time in the Parks and Rec Office with the help of all their friends.

Zack & Kelly – Saved by the Bell

As a huge fan of the show growing up, it broke my heart to see Kelly Kapowski finally tie the knot with Zack Morris. Why not me, I constantly asked the TV? Receiving no reply, I eventually made peace with their relationship (after years of intense psychotherapy, of course). We always wanted to see Zack and Kelly get together, even during the season where Kelly disappeared and was replaced by biker chick Tori. Some things are just meant to be!

Jim & Pam – The Office

While they were able to slip away to privately tie the knot on the Maid of the Mist boat near Niagara Falls – a ceremony that Michael Scott couldn’t ruin – both of their weddings were beautifully done. Based on the British version of The Office, you always knew that Jim and Pam would eventually fall in love… it just took three seasons and a few other twists and turns before all viewers could let out a sigh of relief and happiness.

Howard & Bernadette – Big Bang Theory

The first Big Bang Theory wedding – if you don’t think we’ll eventually see Leonard and Penny wed or even Sheldon and Amy, you’re out of your mind – went to Howard and Bernadette. The most touching moment of the entire episode was when the camera zoomed out to space (the couple wanted their nuptials to be captured by the Google Earth satellite) to show that the group had decorated the rooftop to look like a heart with an arrow through it from high above.

Niles & Daphne – Frasier

Niles lusted for Daphne for years on the show, but the two never seemed to be in the right situation to come together. First, Niles was married to the ice queen (and never seen) Maris. Then, as his marriage crumbled, Daphne was dating and later engaged to Donny, prompting Niles to move on and marry Mel. Things came to a head when Niles and Daphne ran away together just as Daphne was to be married. That’s some tale to tell the grandkids one day.

Ross & Emily – Friends

This wedding turned into quite the train wreck when Ross slipped up and said Rachel’s name during his vow exchange with bride-to-be Emily. Although they finished the ceremony, Ross and Emily split up soon afterwards, even though Ross and Rachel didn’t get back together immediately either. Sure there were other, more successful nuptials during the run of Friends, but this one may have been the most memorable.

Cory & Topanga – Boy Meets World

These two lovebirds were destined for each other and it was clear all along that someday they would walk down the aisle together. From jungle gyms to wedding bells, there were very few moments when the couple wasn’t romantically linked. This was another sad day for your faithful Sip Advisor. As much as I liked Cory, I always hoped Topanga and I would have a chance – it was not to be…

Homer & Marge – The Simpsons

In one of the series’ many flashback episodes, we become privy to the shotgun wedding of Homer and Marge. With Homer lacking a good job and not much money saved up, the couple had to do a quickie wedding at a small chapel and spent their first night as man and wife at Marge’s mother’s house. The series has enjoyed such longevity, that we’ve even witnessed multiple weddings for Homer and Marge, as well as the odd divorce mixed in there for good luck!

Jesse & Rebecca – Full House

If anyone else out in Sip Nation remembers Jesse and The Rippers big hit “Forever”, then your childhood was amazing. I’m willing to bet all you little sippers think I’ve lost my marbles again. Pretty hard to do that when I never had much of a collection (lost many a cat’s eye playing with the wicked Marbleworks set I had as a kid). Uncle Jesse finally settled down and quit his wild ways when he met and fell for Rebecca, Danny Tanner’s Wake Up San Francisco co-host. Jesse even had to jump out of a plane to make his ceremony on time… Oh, TGIF!

Drink #131: Wedding Cake Shot

1.5 oz Cupcake Vodka (Devil’s Food Flavour)
1.5 oz Frangelico
Garnish with Sugar-Coated Lemon Wedge

Certainly I’ve missed some great TV weddings. It seems nearly every single show to last a couple of seasons has featured a ceremony. Did I neglect your favourite nuptials? Give me hell for that egregious error!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes: (3 Sips out of 5):
I tried two different recipes for this shot. My second version consisted of Cupcake Vodka, Citrus Vodka, Limoncello, and Amaretto. In the end, I decided to present to you the more traditional recipe, rather than my own original idea. Either way, there ended up being quite a bit of liquor in each shot, so it turned into more of a sipper than a shooter and I’m not too sure whether I’m a fan of the Cupcake Vodka or not. Which recipe would you have preferred?

May 4 – A.S.S.

Posted on May 4, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Face Pas

They all get on our nerves, but sometimes we don’t have the fortitude to call out our so-called friends of “The Book of Face” and say something about their online behaviour. That is, until your faithful Sip Advisor takes the ball and decides to blow the internet up. Let’s see how many Facebook friends I lose (probably for the better) after this post! Without further ado, the Top 10 Worst “Face Pas”:

1) Vague-Booking

We all have those Facebook friends who write cryptic statuses, just begging for people’s attention to ask for more details. You know the person who writes statuses such as: “Can’t believe this happened to me!” or “Just received the best, most awesomeness, news EVER!” The worst is when these mundane, vague-book statuses actually snag a fish and the person still doesn’t divulge the story behind the status. Be upfront; tell us what’s really going on in your life… or don’t. It’s probably pretty boring anyways. Don’t share, but not share… that’s such a waste of both of our time.

2) Excessive Countdowns

You want to tell us that you leave for vacation in a week, that’s cool. You want to tell us that it’s six months, five days, two hours, and three minutes until you get married and then remind us every single day from that point until your wedding… I hope your fiancé leaves you.

3) Weather Updates

Readers are well familiar with my contempt for weather analysts so I just love it when someone on Facebook wants to not only tell me about the conditions I can see by opening my own window, but also their personal feelings on it. You don’t even have the excuse that you get paid to provide this information, but please continue to feel the need to tell the world that it’s raining and that it makes you really, really sad.

4) Liking Everything

I know people out there want to show their support for family and friends, but if you like absolutely everything, it kind of weakens the power of your likes. People should have limits on their daily likes and then you’d really have to think about things before you clicked the thumbs up. Even if that were the case, I would still go around liking my own statuses before anyone else’s.

5) TMI

You got another yeast infection… um, yay? Here’s an idea: tell a doctor, instead of the entire online world.

6) I’m Sick 😦

In a similar vein, I’m tired of people who go onto Facebook just to let the world know that they have a serious case of the sniffles, unless you can do it in a way that is clever and will entertain me. If you’re not feeling that well, get some rest. Don’t waste your time facestalking the random people you haven’t seen since high school and fishing for sympathy.

7) Fake Relationship Updates

I’m really not a fan of the people out there that change their Facebook relationship status just to get a rise out of their friends and family or even their partner. I’ve had three relationship statuses throughout my six years as a member of the site. “In a relationship with,” “Engaged to,” and “Married to.” Granted, I’m one of the lucky ones, but if you’re not married, don’t act like you are, and if you are in a relationship, don’t act like you aren’t. If you’re still together, why change your status to “It’s complicated”? You only inspire other losers to follow suit.

8) RSVPs

This one is really quite simple. If someone is inviting you to something via Facebook, have the respect to say, one way or the other, whether you will be attending or not, especially when it’s a smaller event. If you can’t be bothered to take the 3 seconds to RSVP, then don’t expect your host to take the hours to shop, prep, and accommodate you when you later show up unannounced to said event. Also I can’t help but notice that the people who often do not state whether they are attending or not attending, are the type who never host events themselves.

9) Self-Taken Photos

This one is really simple: if there’s no one around to take the photo for you, it’s probably a photo that doesn’t need to be taken. Selfies in mirrors of baby bumps are the worst violators of this. Every time I see one, I always just assume that the person is either a single mom or her partner just doesn’t care enough about the growing alien inside her to take 5 seconds to snap a decent photo.

This brotha’s got some game! What’s with the shower cap and shades, though?

10) Odd Facebook Names

I can understand when people make small tweaks to their given name for privacy purposes, but if you completely invent a new name for yourself, how is anybody supposed to know who you are? I can’t count the number of times someone has popped up in my feed and I’ve had to question who that person is. It usually drives me to want to drop the person from my friend list.

And finally, the absolute worst Facebook infraction known to mankind is…

Constantly advertising your blog! Thank you and goodnight… I’m here all week!

Drink #124: A.S.S.

0.5 oz Amaretto
0.5 oz Southern Comfort
0.5 oz Sweet and Sour Mix

One last note, you should also be careful with who you delete from your Facebook account. Relative strangers? Sure, go ahead and axe them. Deleting your entire set of in-laws when you’ll be stuck with them for a cruise ship wedding (and the rest of your married life), one month before said ceremony… probably not the best idea, but this world run amuck with idiots!

Did I forget something? Let me know!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
This shot combines three of my favourite ingredients and goes down super easy. You could go through a lot of these in a night and you might not even get that trashed… perfect for entertaining!

April 27 – London Fog

Posted on April 27, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Ice Ice Baby

Perfect for Halloween and all other non-denominational holidays, a recent fad in the mixology world has been to use dry ice or liquid nitrogen in cocktails, giving the presentation a special effect as a smoky fog rolls off of the drink.

But there are dangers to the process, as well. An 18-year-old girl in the United Kingdom, celebrating her birthday, had her stomach removed after drinking a liquid nitrogen-Jagermeister recipe. That would be awful. You finally become legal and you’re out on the town for a wild night, but you can’t even get past your first drink… talk about a lightweight!

Also, you’d figure this chick’s stomach lining would be stronger given the diet of bangers and mash she certainly grew up eating. Jagermeister strikes again! So many years after the World Wars and Germany still wants revenge against the British.

Back to the issue at hand, these substances can cause cold burns to the mouth, throat and stomach, if ingested. Once it hits the stomach, it can warm rapidly, releasing air and other gases that can cause the stomach to burst… now that would be one epic fart.

This poor girl had to have a total gastrectomy (their words, not mine), which will certainly become all the rage for women, when it’s revealed that this process forcibly causes people to eat less, never feel hungry, and without a stomach, they won’t get big bellies.

If you are ever to order one of these “frozen” cocktails, you are advised to make sure the dry ice or liquid nitrogen has completely dissipated before taking a sip. That’s the issue here. This young girl was so fired up to get some booze into her system (aren’t we all!) that she couldn’t wait. Remember this little ditty I wrote to stay safe: If there’s steam, you’ll scream… if it’s clean, time to get smashed (I just didn’t feel like making it all rhyme… it’s more memorable that way!).

I have now tried a nitrogen cocktail, with Mrs. Sip at Hyde Lounge in Las Vegas. While they made the drink right in front of you with a travelling mixing bowl, it wasn’t served until the nitrogen had completely evaporated. The result was a frozen, blended recipe that tasted great as it slowly melted into a drinkable consistency.

I will discuss Molecular Mixology more in future blog posts. For the time being, like our stomachless friend from the UK, I simply can’t wait to get my drink on…

Drink #117: London Fog

0.75 oz Absinthe (I used Mata Hari)
0.75 oz Gin
Garnish with a Lemon Wedge

While some dry ice would have been really cool for this shot, I don’t feel like dabbling in the dark arts. I wonder if they ever investigated whether Voldemort was involved in some of these liquid nitrogen incidents? I’m on to you, thou who shall not be named…

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Holy hell this shot tastes like poison. I’m sure that was always the intention, as some shots are merely meant as punishment, but still, I had hoped something would come along and save this blend. Shots are harder to rate than cocktails because of this reputation. You can’t merely score the drink on taste and presentation. People do shots to get drunk… this will certainly get the job done!

April 20 – Liquid Marijuana

Posted on April 20, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Puff, Puff, Pass… Drink, Drink, Done

Mary Jane isn’t my relaxant of choice – hell, she’s not even my favoruite Spider-Man girlfriend – but I don’t frown upon those who love their weed. And since it’s 4/20, a holy day for reefer connoisseurs, I thought we should take a look at the most prolific stoners as boozers and smokers unite to enjoy this shot:

Cheech & Chong – Numerous movies and albums

These two famous overachieving potheads took their stand-up comedy routine and turned it into numerous movies and albums, working together off and on for over 30 years. They are responsible for a number of famous catchphrases, most notably “Dave’s not here, man.” Not only do these two play fictional stoners, but one of them also plays the role in real life. Tommy Chong was sent to prison in October 2003 for selling bongs and other paraphernalia over the internet. This incarceration occurred while he was a cast member of That 70’s Show, playing, you guessed it: a hippie burnout named Leo Chingwake.

Dale Denton & Saul Silver – Pineapple Express

First off, let me say that the pants James Franco wears for the duration of this film are, quite possibly, the greatest wardrobe choice in the history of film. If someone were to ever bequeath these to me, I would honour them with their own special holiday. Dale (Seth Rogen) and Saul (Franco) get stuck in a hilarious set of circumstances thanks to their enjoyment of Pineapple Express, an extremely potent brand of marijuana. Their dealer, Red, (Danny McBride) also joins in on the fun and the three have to triumph over a oppressive drug kingpin.

Jeff Spicoli – Fast Times at Ridgemont High

It’s so hard to believe that this character was played by Sean Penn, given all the serious roles Penn has since gone on to play. Spicoli, a laid back, pot smoking, surfer dude, became so popular that he’s featured on the cover of the movie, despite being a tertiary character. One of the subplots of the movie is teacher Mr. Hand trying to get the best he can out of Spicoli. When Mr. Hand thinks he’s achieved results, he releases Spicoli but eventually comes to the conclusion that everyone at the school is “on dope”. Spicoli meanwhile goes on to save a drowning Brooke Shields, but wastes the reward money hiring Van Halen to perform at his birthday party… sounds about right.

The Gang – That 70’s Show

One of the most enjoyable running gags on That 70’s Show was ‘The Circle’, where any number of the group’s members – Eric, Hyde, Kelso, Fez, Donna, Jackie and any number of their friends – would wax philosophically after enjoying some marijuana, as the camera rotated around the table. Some of the shows funniest lines came out of these scenes. One memorable segment included the kids’ parents sitting in the circle, high from “special” brownies and mimicking their children’s actions.

Harold & Kumar – Go to White Castle, Escape from Guantanamo Bay and A Very 3D Christmas

While not the biggest stoners per se, these two gentlemen enjoy their weed. Their zany adventures to White Castle, from Guantanamo Bay and attempting to save Christmas were often fuelled by the drug in some way. A highlight of all the movies is the performance of Neil Patrick Harris (playing himself), which practically revived his career. In the films, NPH is an even bigger drug user than Rolly and Kumar, who can definitely hold their own.

Norville “Shaggy” Rogers – Scooby-Doo

Although the show never quite comes out and says it, let’s look at the evidence: 1) Shaggy’s constantly searching for munchies 2) his attention span is minimal at best 3) his nerves are always shot and he appears strung out 4) he has conversations and hangs out with a dog… conclusion: Shaggy is your typical pothead. Still, Shaggy is one of the most beloved characters in the history of media, especially when paired with his pal Scooby. The two have teamed together for countless adventures, highlighted by my personal favourite, Scooby-Doo Meets the Boo Brothers.

Thurgood Jenkins et al – Half Baked

While Dave Chappelle himself was disappointed with how the movie turned out – he wrote the script and starred, but said the movie was dumbed down from being adult-oriented to more of a kids movie – there are still a number of funny moments in this film. Some favourites are when Thurgood describes the different types of pot users, particularly the Scavenger Smoker (Snoop Dogg), who comes into the scene at the first sniff of marijuana and proceeds to smoke the guy’s entire joint before moving on. The scene where Scarface quits his job at the fast food restaurant is also a highlight.

Jay & Silent Bob – Almost every movie by Kevin Smith

It’s hard not to notice that stoners in films often come in pairs or trios (whereas alcoholics are always portrayed as miserable loners, hmmm…). Jay and Silent Bob seem to always pop up in Kevin Smith’s View Askewniverse, and why not? Silent Bob is played by Smith. The duo’s notorious appearances in movies they weren’t the star in led to their own title adventure where they’re on a mission to shut down a movie based on their personas. The pair offer a great lesson too: if you have one loud mouth who never shuts up, then his buddy better be silent to help restore the balance.

Drink #110: Liquid Marijuana

1/4 oz Blue Curacao
1/4 oz Melon Liqueur
1/4 oz Malibu Rum
1/4 oz Spiced Rum (I used Kraken)
Splash Pineapple Juice
Splash Sweet & Sour Mix
Garnish with Rolling Paper Stir Stick

As we down this shooter, I wish all my pothead brethren a very happy 4/20… enjoy your day!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This shot was sweet, but not overly so. It goes down nice and easy, but isn’t very exciting. Despite all the ingredients it’s relatively effortless to make. It’s not like you have to do layering or anything. Give it a shot (literally!) and see what you think.

April 13 – Candy Apple

Posted on April 13, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Fun Fare

With summer rapidly approaching, we’re nearing fair season so it’s time to sit down and plan out what you want to eat when that glorious period arrives. It’s also time to think about how you’ll work off those calories before or after the event!

Cotton Candy

The melt-in-your-mouth treat is fun for the first few bites and then you realize how sticky your fingers are getting and someone (cough, cough, Mrs. Sip) reminds you that cotton candy is pure sugar, while also asking for constant bites of your treat. Which one is it, unhealthy or delicious? Why can’t it be both?

Is that Morgan Freeman?

Mini Donuts

You can smell these suckers from miles away and the scent often drags you by the nose to a little booth where you shell out $5 for a bag of 12 mini donuts. And you’ll do it again the next time that cinnamon-sugar deep fried goodness invades your nostrils. It’s always sad how quickly these snacks disappear, but that’s why you happily go home broke.

Caramel Apples

I remember when I was a young’un that our last stop of the day at the fair was to grab a caramel apple for the road. Today they put all kinds of crazy stuff on apples, but back in the day you were happy to have a mound of caramel and if you were really lucky – I’m talking best day ever lucky – you’d find a caramel apple with Smarties on it.

Funnel Cake

This treat absolutely rules with all the options you can stuff in it or heap on top. It’s like a donut-pie combo and I’m a huge supporter of anything deep fried. I’ve even gone so far as to try to put a deep fryer on my wedding registry. When this was vetoed by Mrs. Sip, I launched a petition campaign to get the fryer on the ballot. Speaking of fried delectables…

Deep Fried Anything

From pickles to Mars bars, hot dogs to onions, anything can be wrapped in dough, shoved into a fryer, and found at a fair… and they all taste fantastic! I implore you to find me something that doesn’t taste like it was meant for a deity after it’s been glorified in batter.

Popcorn/Caramel Corn

I’m not a fan of the stuff, but Mrs. Sip is and if I don’t include it, I fear for my safety. Why don’t I like popcorn and other kernel-based snacks? Because I always seem to get those damn kernels stuck in my teeth, along my gums or worst of all, in my throat. For me, the risk-reward just doesn’t pay off. Mrs. Sip, on the other hand, could eat the stuff for dinner after loading it with butter and mixing the occasional Junior Caramel into each handful.

Corn on the Cob

Probably (and sadly) the healthiest item on this list. This is the one exception I will make in the kernel wars, as I don’t really care how much of the yellow stuff I get caught in my teeth or how much butter ends up smeared across my mouth… it’s all worth it in the end when I go for a smooch with Mrs. Sip and she realizes how messy I am…

Of course, you could always drink your carnival treat… yeah, let’s do that!

Drink #103: Candy Apple

0.5 oz Crown Royal
0.5 oz Sour Puss Apple
0.5 oz Cranberry Juice
Garnish with Caramel/Candied Apple Slice

This shot was a great excuse to buy an entire, delicious caramel apple just to decorate it with… as if we need much of an excuse around here to go over the top! For those of you who don’t buy an entire candy apple each time you make this shot, a nice garnishing detail can be to rim the glass with caramel.

Well, I wish you all a wonderful trip to the fair, where I hope the food is awesome, the rides don’t make you yak, and that the demolition derby is still presented in your neck of the woods!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
The pleasure of this shot was two-fold, as the shooter itself was quite tasty and then Mrs. Sip and I chased the liquid with the absolutely scrumptious Caramel Apple. We even fought over the last piece, before she distracted me with another shot!

April 6 – Fire Extinguisher

Posted on April 6, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Weapons of Destruction

Well, it’s WrestleMania weekend, the best time of the year for sports entertainment fanatics. When I heard about this shooter, the first thing I thought of was hardcore matches, where one wrestler would spray another in the face with a fire extinguisher. Always good for a laugh, let’s see if it works as a shot as well. But first, here are some other great wrestling weapon choices while we sip away:

Coconut

One of the most famous feuds of the 1980’s was started when ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper bashed Fijian ‘Superfly’ Jimmy Snuka over the head with a coconut following a verbal lashing that would now be classified as racially-fueled. This defined the term “foreign object”… I mean, what is a coconut doing at a wrestling show anyway!?

The angle may have been controversial, but they turned it into an action figure set, so I guess that makes it all okay.

Mannequin Head

Deranged wrestler (aren’t they all!) Al Snow was often seen talking to a mannequin head, which came in handy during matches where he needed an extra edge. I’m sure the head told Al it didn’t appreciate being used as a blunt object, but Al was so out of his mind he probably didn’t take into account his friend’s concerns.

Kitchen Sink

Ever heard the term, “Everything, but the kitchen sink”? Well, during a Good Housekeeping Match between misogynist Jeff Jarrett and woman wrestler (and later porn star… how’s that for women’s lib?) Chyna, even a kitchen sink was used – as well as a toilet seat, salad tongs, mixing bowl, and ironing board. The match ended with both competitors covered in flour and with Chyna becoming the first ever female Intercontinental Champion.

Snakes

Indiana Jones least favourite animal (and the Sip Advisor’s) has actually been used as a weapon in wrestling rings. Jake “The Snake” Roberts has on a few occasions used pythons and cobras to attack his opponents. The dastardly attack even backfired on him once, ending with a snake biting at his own neck.

Sega Genesis/Super Nintendo/Laptop

Hardcore icon New Jack was known for bringing an entire garbage bin filled with weapons to the ring with him for matches – well, they could more likely be classified as attacks. One of his trademark assaults involved placing a vintage video game system or laptop on his victim’s crotch before smashing it with a crutch of other swingable object.

New Jack: definitely not the kind of guy you want taking a swing at your baws!

Payphone Handset

When The Rock (Hollywood star Dwayne Johnson) was battling with Mankind (best selling author Mick Foley… proving wrestlers actually are intelligent at times) over the WWE Title over a decade ago, the two met in a number of brutal encounters. One such match featured The Rock bashing Mankind in the head with a payphone handset while shouting “It’s for you!”

Tennis Racket

Manager Jim Cornette was rarely seen without his patented tennis racket and his opponents were seldom left unscathed when the ‘Louisville Slugger’ had a chance to wallop them behind the referees back. I wonder if he ever hit the court to play…

Urn

The legendary Undertaker – whose gimmick was that he was thought to be undead – was often ushered to the ring by his manager Paul Bearer, who was in possession of the urn said to contain The Undertaker’s ashes. Whether this story pans out or not, the urn was definitely used on multiple occasions to batter an opponent of ‘The Deadman’ and help secure a number of victories.

Drink #96: Fire Extinguisher

Rim with Cinnamon Sugar
0.75 oz Bailey’s Irish Crème
0.75 oz Fireball Whiskey
Enjoy with Red Hots

Judging by the list above, it seems as if anything can be used as a weapon in the ring. I know wrestling isn’t everyone’s cup of tea (although who drinks tea around this site anyways? Well, maybe the Long Island version), but thank you for letting me relive some memories on this special weekend for all the Hulkamaniacs out there!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I really enjoyed this shooter. The burn of the Fireball Whiskey was quickly cooled by the creamy Bailey’s and a Cinnamon-Sugar rim is always welcomed by me. The addition of Red Hots completed the presentation wonderfully.

March 30 – Vegas Blowjob

Posted on March 30, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Entertain Me

Well, today we celebrate The Sip Legacy’s (that would be Mrs. Sip and I as a conglomerate) 11-year dating anniversary and it is purely coincidence that this shot was chosen for this momentous occasion. You think she’ll get the hint, fellas? *wink, wink*

This is the second year in a row that we’ve celebrated with a trip to Las Vegas. We love Sin City and we’re not even gamblers. I actually can’t remember the last time I put any money on the line during a stay here. Sure, it’s happened and I had one moderately successful night with video poker, but our main intention when coming to the city is to eat, drink, and be merry. To fulfill the merry portion of that mantra, we love going to shows along the strip. Here are some of our favourites:

Penn & Teller – Rio

These guys do it all, combining magic, comedy, drama, the whole shebang. When we attended this show, Mrs. Sip was wearing a low cut halter top and when the guys were looking for a volunteer for their knife act, I knew they’d pick her (despite her laughable efforts to look anywhere but at the guys). Sure enough they did and because of her participation we were able to get a front-of-the-line chance to meet with Penn and Teller after the show. Teller even spoke, which blew my mind, thanking Mrs. Sip and saying she did a great job!

Cirque du Soleil: Ka – MGM Grand

We are huge fans of the Cirque du Soleil shows in Vegas, as well as the ones that tour around the world. This martial arts-themed extravaganza, with its giant, rotating and moving stage, was completely mesmerizing particularly the climax of the show, where performers were running on giant spinning wheels and pulling off different tricks.

Cirque du Soleil: Love – Mirage

Keeping with the Cirque theme, what do you get when you take the amazing circus acts the troupe is known for and set the entire spectacle to the remarkable Beatles music catalogue? You have a surefire hit, that’s what. The soundtrack to this show is amazing, as are most Cirque soundtracks, but the reworking, mash-ups and brilliant original work of the group is particularly memorable.

Cirque du Soleil: O – Belagio

Let’s discuss one more Cirque show while we’re at it. I’m a born swimmer and I love seeing high dives and crazy feats performed in water. The Cirque folk put a lot of work into their stage design and it pays off for this performance, as the stage can turn into a pool in no time, allowing for the performers to go from dancers to divers seamlessly.

Carrot Top – Luxor

I love Carrot Top’s energy and his frantic style. At the show we attended, he even passed out shots of Crown Royal to some lucky audience members, which made me respect the guy even more. Unfortunately he couldn’t hear a drunk Sip Advisor yelling, “I’m from Canada… I love Crown!” He even made a good impression on Mrs. Sip, who was hesitant at first to make this our show for the trip.

There are other shows I would recommend, including Lion King (Mandalay Bay), and Jersey Boys (Planet Hollywood, although we saw it on tour in Vancouver). If they still were being performed on the strip, I’d also endorse Cirque du Soleil: Viva Elvis (Aria) and comedian Frank Caliendo (Monte Carlo).

After numerous trips to the city together, there’s still so much more we would like to see: Cirque du Soleil: Zumanity at New York, New York, Louie Anderson at The Excalibur, The Blue Man Group at Monte Carlo, and the list continues to grow with each visit.

Drink #89: Vegas Blowjob

0.3 oz Banana Liqueur
0.3 oz Spiced Rum
0.3 oz Jagermeister
0.3 oz Orange Juice
0.3 oz Pineapple Juice
Garnish with a Condom

Here at Sip Adivsor Headquarters, we endorse safe sex. Just make sure you don’t accidentally ingest the rubber!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Where to begin with this shot! We added the condom garnish for a little humour, but I think it really completed the drink’s appearance. Plus, it was banana-flavoured, so it actually added a little essence to the shooter.

March 28 – Vegas Bomb

Posted on March 28, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Vegas or Bust

Well I’m off to Vegas tomorrow, which is a favourite weekend getaway for Mrs. Sip and me. So with our trip quickly approaching, I’m turning my mind to one of my favourite drinking trends: public consumption. One of my favourite things about Las Vegas is the opportunity to drink in public. Nothing beats walking along the strip on a nice warm day with a cold 40 oz beer in your hand.

Grab a drink, hit the strip, party… it`s as easy as one, two, three!

While liquor is available everywhere in Vegas, ABC Stores are great for cheap beer, liquor and even little bottles of wine for Mrs. Sip (I know, she embarrasses me too!). There’s even a jaunt you can do in the Miracle Mile shopping centre where you can grab a beer at one ABC, enjoy it as you walk through the mall and make another pit stop to refuel as you hit a second store deeper in the complex. Hell, it’s the only way I can get through the pain of shopping.

Drinking on the street in Vegas was a graduated learning process for us that evolved on each subsequent trip. First we started off with the hotel bought frozen drinks in crazy plastic shaped containers that you see everyone carrying around (we figured that the hotels are selling them to you, so it must be okay to walk around with).

Then we progressed to aluminum beer cans (aluminum is like plastic, right?). But the beers we really wanted were in bottles. So finally we took the plunge, bought a few, and dared to see if we would be challenged with our glass. As we exited one of the ABC stores, we realized that our beer bottles weren’t twist tops – a huge mistake on our part. As we tried to decide whether we should go buy an opener, a security guard began to approach us. We were quickly relieved to learn she just wanted to help us pop the tops of our drinks! Viva Las Vegas!

I’ve now advanced beyond beer in Vegas and instead I often like to grab a mickey of something and a mixer, take a swig out of the mixer bottle and drink my way through the entire combo as we go along. Mrs. Sip took advantage of one of these afternoon buzzes, by getting me to pose like a drunk for photos on the replica Brooklyn Bridge outside New York, New York. Little did I know that I was mimicking the exact pose of a real drunk behind me. Thanks babe!

Even celebrities drink on the strip!

Walking the strip, you get quite the eclectic group of people and that means a mix of drink ideas and opportunities. You get your beer guys and gals, your frozen drink enthusiasts, your hard liquor folk, and the dreaded sobriety demons (who you can recognize because they are usually yelling scripture at you and informing you that all sinners go to hell… too late!). It is perfectly fine to taunt these men and women, unless they are designated drivers… we here at The Sip Advisor are cool with DDs and support that cause.

Just writing this post makes me want to be there right now… I only hope my money can last the long weekend!

Drink #87: Vegas Bomb

0.75 oz Crown Royal
0.75 oz Butterscotch or Peach Schnapps
1 Red Bull

Simply drop your shot into the glass of Red Bull and slam that sucka’. We don’t leave for Sin City until tomorrow, but we couldn’t resist getting all crazy and into the spirit of things!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Drop shots can be fun, but messy. That was the case with this particular one, as the shot glass tipped sideways when I dropped it into the big glass. I went with Butterscotch Schnapps for the sweet portion of the shooter, but you could also use Peach Schnapps.

March 23 – Windshield Wiper Fluid

Posted on March 23, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Gross Income

Having the opportunity to travel and live abroad has also brought opportunities to try new, weird, and different flavours. After you read this list, you will question the fact that I was a picky eater when I was younger. Over the years, my tastes have expanded and my willingness to try seemingly anything has skyrocketed. I blame the constant liquorization of my body, mind and spirit, but other theories do persist. Without further ado, here are the oddest things I’ve personally eaten.

Escargot

In France, our tour group was offered this French delicacy and this was at a time when my tastes were just evolving. It probably didn’t help that the snails were simply served on a bed of green leaves and looked like someone had just picked them out of the garden. As Mrs. Sip and I approached the serving tray, there was only one more shelled snail available. I was elected to try the hors d’oeuvre and while Mrs. Sip snapped pictures of my eating experience, I learned that escargot actually tastes pretty good… with a nice garlic butter sauce, of course, to mask the whole slimy snail bit.

Frog Legs

This was a menu item on one of the first cruises Mrs. Sip and I took and the server was kind enough to put in an order for us to share, on top of our other appetizer selections. These weren’t bad, although I can’t remember what kind of sauce they were done in and there wasn’t much meat to them. Sometimes the “tastes like chicken” expression actually holds true. The only problem is the legs looked like… well like long, dead frog legs. Still, it was fun to give them a whirl and cross it off the “foods you have to try” list.

Cheese

Okay so I hear you wondering, how is cheese classified as odd? Well I hate cheese. Just downright detest it. I don’t mind it in most melted situations like on pizza, nachos, and grilled cheese sandwiches, but even then, I prefer a mild form, like mozzarella. In recent years, I’ve tried to buck this childhood trend and try some more adventurous options. Some have been okay, while others not so much. Smoked Gouda on a sandwich went well, as did feta on Greek salads. Bleu cheese on a pizza however, while eaten, was not enjoyed.

GUILTY!!!

Fried Rattlesnake

I’m deathly afraid of snakes, but when I was younger, only seven years old, I mustered the courage to try fried rattlesnake when my family was travelling throughout the old west. This was another one of those “it tastes like chicken” cases and we were even given some dried rattlesnake bone, along with a certificate saying we tried the delicacy, as keepsakes.

Oysters

While I’ve had many of these in recent years and some have been tasty, I still don’t get the whole buzz around them. You swallow whole, a slimy lump of indeterminate origin, which you’ve packed various flavours onto to mask the actual taste, and this is supposed to be an aphrodisiac? Quite frankly it sounds very similar to the end result of most dirty movies to me. Why are most girls okay with oysters, but not the other thing… you know what I’m getting at.

Drink #82: Windshield Wiper Fluid

Rim glass with Sour Apple Pop Rocks
0.75 oz Blue Curacao
0.75 oz Sour Puss Apple

So, I bet you’re asking what The Sip Advisor still won’t eat. Well, I still largely avoid cheese in most situations and I think yogurt is disgusting. Sadly, Mrs. Sip’s diet largely consists of dairy and so we don’t see eye to eye on a number of these items. I’m more awesome than her though (as if it still needs to be written), so my say goes (or so I like to tell myself).

Would I ever actually drink windshield wiper fluid? My head says no, but my heart says give it a shot (poison warnings be damned)!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
A light and very tasty shooter. Blue Curacao and Sour Puss Apple have contrasting tastes that mix well. The Sour Apple Pop Rocks were a fun addition to the recipe.

March 16 – Dead Man Walking

Posted on March 16, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Last Rites

If you were on your death bed (sweet lady liquor forbid), what would you say? Here are some of the best last words I’ve been able to find, as inspiration for my own prepared statement:

“One last drink, please?” – Jack Daniel, famous whiskeyteer

The living legend just wanted one last taste of his own whiskey. Unfortunately the wonderful JD Honey Whiskey hadn’t been made yet, as that would certainly have sent him off on the right note. Daniel died from blood poisoning after a toe infection from kicking his safe when he couldn’t remember the combination. Ironically, as told on tours of his distillery, had he dipped his toe in his patented whiskey, he likely would have survived.

“Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here.” – Nostradamus, prediction master

Talk about calling your shot. A pretty ballsy move to say the least. If he had lived even two more days, he would have gone down in history as a sketchy heretic, only correct with a percentage of his forecasts. As it stands, Nostradamus is revered because he was even able to foretell his own demise.

“Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’!” – James French, insane murderer

Mr. French shouted this to press members and other witnesses to his execution. I gotta admit, it’s a pretty funny line, but it really shows just how psychotic the dude was. I guess you have to give him some style points, but his landing was a little botched.

“Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around!” – Carl Panzram, serial killer

Death row inmates are lucky in that their final words will always be recorded. Once again, though, this guy proved his head really belonged in the noose. What did he have against Hoosiers anyway… that’s a good movie.

“No, you certainly can’t.” – John F. Kennedy, El Presidente

This was President Kennedy’s reply to Nellie Connally, the wife of Texas Governor John Connally, when she stated, “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President.” I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more ironic outcome.

“I should have asked for a stunt double!” – Vic Morrow, unlucky actor

Morrow was killed while filming an elaborate stunt scene for Twilight Zone: The Movie, when a helicopter crashed and tragically decapitated himself and a child actor, while also crushing another child. Sadly, Morrow thought his statement was just a joke, but instead it came true.

“I should never have switched from scotch to martinis.” – Humphey Bogart, actor extraordinaire

It is scientifically proven that scotch keeps you alive longer than martinis… ol’ Bogie here might have been onto something. I think the key is to continue drinking both and then you have all options covered!

Drink #75: Dead Man Walking

0.75 oz Absinthe
0.75 oz Goldschlager

I’ve decided that my final words – I’ve always been a planner – will be: “This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on, my friends…” and then I’ll just keep singing and living forever, only taking breaks to down another cocktail. Not a bad plan, eh!?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
The Absinthe Week shot was supposed to be something different, but on the fly I switched to this recipe and it was pretty good. The name is perfect to match the taste and Mrs. Sip caught a perfect photo of the gold flakes within the shooter.

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

Category Archives: Shots & Shooters