December 29 – Fireside Choco-Chat

Posted on December 29, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Something to Talk About

I sometimes like to watch those year-in-review retrospectives you find on news and sports channels. It gives you a real picture of what happened the previous 365 days and an idea of what to expect when the calendar turns over. So, as we try to stay warm by the fire, here are the people and topics we most discussed in 2013:

Miley Cyrus

People have been shaking their groove things for many years, but it took a raunchy twerking performance by former child star Miley Cyrus at the MTV Music Video Awards to really help the pop singer burst on the scene. She followed that up with a string of other wild antics and her music video for Wrecking Ball, which features the artist (and all of her tan lines – you figure she would have got some colour before this production) swinging nude from the construction device and licking a filthy sledgehammer.

Prince George

Perhaps it’s the anti-parent in me or perhaps it’s the fact I couldn’t care less about celebrity offspring in general, but I don’t get the interest in the whole royal baby thing. Sadly, this kid is more famous that any of us will ever be and he still needs someone to wipe his own ass. I’d praise his genetic luck, but years of royal inbreeding have to catch up to reality eventually. At least he can claim things of Kate Middleton that most men would kill to also have rights to.

Concussion Awareness

This is the hottest topic in the sports world (even surpassing steroids) and it only seems to be getting more serious with each passing year. In 2013, the NFL reached a $765 million settlement with its former players for concussion treatment and earlier this month, news came out that a similar class action lawsuit was being filed against the NHL. While the players involved should be compensated, I feel we’re travelling down a slippery slope towards the elimination of contact sports entirely.

Rob Ford

The every-man mayor proved he was much more than your typical person and provided late night shows with copious amounts of material. Sure he continues to leave a black eye on the city of Toronto by refusing to step down and out of the public spotlight, but it’s no worse than their professional hockey team has been doing for years! Perhaps once he’s experienced close to 50 years of futility he’ll finally call it a day.

Kim Kardashian & Kanye West

Kim and Kanye, or Kim-ye as they have been unitedly known, are perhaps Hollywood’s hottest power couple right now. This is what you get when you combine the amazingly egotistical Kanye West (he is the voice of our generation, after all) and the talentless yet uber famous Kim Kardashian (sorry, what exactly has she done again?). Don’t forget about baby North West, who has the perfect name for a fragrance already lined up: North by North West!

Fifty Shades of Grey

The franchise should really be called Fifty Shades of Who Cares, although I know I’m waging a winless battle. I’m just so outnumbered by women in their middle ages who love their mommy porn. How powerful is this group, you ask? Well, they’ve already forced Charlie Hunnam to give up on his role as Christian Grey in the film just because many thought he didn’t fit the part and backlashed against the performer on social media. What’s next? Will they get me booted off my own site because I’m far too talented? They may have a case there!

Drink #363: Fireside Choco-Chat

1 oz Marshmallow Vodka (I used Smirnoff Fluffed)
1 oz Peppermint Schnapps
Top with Hot Chocolate
Garnish with Whip Cream and a Chocolate Spoon

Before we retire for the evening, we should pay tribute to those who passed on in 2013. May there be drinks waiting for you all wherever you may be!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
I went with Candy Cane Vodka instead of Peppermint Schnapps and that might have changed the taste. While I had looked forward to mixing Fluffed and Candy Cane Vodka with Hot Chocolate, I wasn’t overly impressed with the final product. Mrs. Sip liked it better than I did, however.

December 22 – The North Pole

Posted on December 22, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Sweater Shop

In recent years, ugly Christmas sweaters have become more of a popular theme for holiday parties. Some offices will even host an annual competition with employees showing off their hard-on-the-eyes winter warmers. Here are some of the funniest entries I was able to locate!

This gives a whole new meaning to Operation Red Nose! It takes a lot of balls (or in this case ovaries) to wear an outfit likes this. It’s not so much that the top is ugly… just bizarre. I bet that nose becomes quite the target at any party she goes to and I pray she never chooses this wardrobe for going to the clubs… guys on the dance floor are big enough losers without falling all over themselves for stuff like this.

If this is what they meant, I don’t want to wish joy to the world! This guy looks incredibly uncomfortable and I’m not sure if that’s because of the sweater or his weight. Perhaps he hasn’t left that couch for ages and he’s still dawning this sweater despite the photo being taken in mid summer. Quit staring and make him some fried chicken.

I feel bad for women. When they are depicted as being droopy, it means saggy breasts… but when a dude is just as droopy, it means a massively large member. This guy’s sweater could be misinterpreted as Frosty throwing up in the middle of a keg stand. If these two get close together does that put the sweater snowmen in a compromising 69 position?

It’s never a good idea to put your face on a shirt… let alone an ugly Christmas sweater. How are either of these octogenarians supposed to cheat on their spouse when they’re wearing each other’s faces!? I find it funny that the woman has the exact same smile in her sweater photo that she’s offering to the camera person here, too. If Mrs. Sip and I ever wear matching clothes, it’s time to consider a separation.

I’m not sure I’m a fan of the sleeveless look. No wait, I’m definitely not a fan of the sleeveless look. It’s not very functional either, as the moment you step outside into the frigid air, you’re going to be pretty damn cold! Sure, this guy has a lot of beef on him to help keep him warm, but I just don’t think it would be enough and perhaps that’s all for the best.

Drink #356: The North Pole

1.5 oz Grey Goose Cherry Noir
0.5 oz Peppermint Schnapps
Top with Milk
Squirt of Chocolate Syrup
Garnish with a Candy Cane

Always looking for a good laugh, I appreciate all these folk’s self-deprecating efforts. If you know of some even uglier Christmas sweaters, send them the Sip Advisor’s way and give me a good chuckle!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
My version of the cocktail didn’t turn out as dark as others I have seen online (I should have used a little more Chocolate Syrup), but it tasted decent and really, that’s the most important element of a cocktail. I’ve really enjoyed using all these Candy Canes in the various cocktails presented through the 25 Days of Christmas.

December 21 – Santa Shot

Posted on December 21, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Sweet Season

More candy goes through the Sip Advisor offices this time of the year than any other. It doesn’t help that I give Mrs. Sip an advent calendar treat every day leading up to Christmas and Ma and Pa Sip are quite generous with care packages and the like. While there may be too much to go around, it’s all appreciated and here are some of my favourites!

M&Ms

Whether the plain or peanut variety, it doesn’t take long for these Christmas candies to disappear from any bowl they’re poured into. What’s best about the M&Ms company is that they’re always experimenting with different adaptations of their popular product. This year, we’ve really enjoyed their Gingerbread limited release and they have also brought out Mint Chocolate and White Chocolate Peppermint varieties.

Yeah, fasting around Christmas is whack, yo!

Turtles

Mmmm, I love Turtles. While not being a fan of pecans on their own, there’s just something about these clustered treats that are so good. I blame the wonderfulness of caramel, which is such a delicious ingredient in any recipe it is featured. I’ve noticed this year that there are a couple new options in the Turtles line, including Pecan Praline and Pecan Fudge Brownie. Me thinks I should arrange a taste test with my fellow Turtles lovers!

Mini Eggs

While originally an Easter-only treat, Mini Eggs have migrated to the Christmas holiday, as well. Instead of coming in colours like yellow, blue, and pink, the palette has been changed to red and green, with both packs including white eggs. It’s extremely difficult to only pop one or two of these treats into your mouth. In the end, you’re more likely to have shoveled dozens of the eggs down your gullet like a slithering snake. At least us civilized folk don’t have to regurgitate the shells!

Candy Canes

How could one forget Candy Canes at this time of year? You don’t even have to settle for the mint-flavoured ones anymore, as the treats are available in nearly every flavour. I’m still waiting for Mrs. Sip to open the genital-shaped candy cane I bought her a couple Christmases ago as a gag gift (literally!?), although it has slowly disappeared in one of our cupboards, perhaps to never see the light of day ever again!

Chocolate Santa

For the homicidal maniac and cannibal in all of us, sometimes grabbing a massive chocolate Santa and taking his head off in one quick bite can be quite rewarding. I can’t decide if I prefer hollowed out Santa’s or the thicker full chocolate Santa’s which you can gnaw on for hours. The same principles apply to everything from chocolate snowmen to reindeer to trees and every other symbol of the holiday season.

Toblerone

A favourite of Pa Sip (and the Sip Advisor), I can still remember travelling through Switzerland and picking up Toblerone bars en masse whenever we had a chance over our two-day tour stop. Chocolate is something that actually helps you adjust to high altitudes, se we had a good excuse to indulge in the Swiss treat. I’ve always been curious about the massive Toblerone bars they sell at Christmas and how long it would take to vanquish it from existence!

Reese Products

The massive peanut butter cups that have been released the last couple years are crazy enormous. I like how the Reese company has partnered with the NHL to make their peanut butter cups resemble hockey pucks. If you’re looking for smaller doses of peanutty goodness, there are also peanut butter trees, bells, and even snowmen. With all those options, you’ll probably be sick of peanut butter by the end of the holidays!

Peppermint Bark

Mrs. Sip loves her Peppermint Bark. Myself, not as much as other options, but I do appreciate the stuff as a snacking option. Chocolate and mint make a pretty wicked pair and they seem to bring their collective A-game to the Christmas holidays. This is one of the few things on this list that you could actually make yourself, but why waste your time when there are so many quality products already out there and you don’t need to deal with all the fuss of doing it yourself.

Drink #355: Santa Shot

Rim glass with Crushed Candy Canes
0.5 oz Peppermint Schnapps
0.5 oz Crème de Menthe
0.5 oz Grenadine

What’s your favourite Christmas time candy? Make sure to send some my way, so we can experience all the joys of the holidays together… and then we can hit the gym in the New Year and work off all this treat goodness!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This shot can be found under other names (Candy Cane Shooter, etc.), but the recipe doesn’t change. It tells you to layer the ingredients in the following order: Grenadine, Crème de Menthe, Peppermint Schnapps for the desired layering effect. I found that the clear Peppermint Schnapps at the top of the shooter was too hard to really see, so I decided to blend the two mint ingredients for a better visual effect. The shot tastes pretty good, despite a fair dose of Grenadine.

December 13 – Tinsel Bellini

Posted on December 13, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Christmas Blitzed

As the holiday season rapidly rushes by, it’s important to sit back and take in all that surrounds you. That can definitely include the many winter-themed alcohol options, most of which are only released at this time of year. Here are some to keep an eye out for!

Jack Daniel’s Winter Jack

This spirit blends Jack Daniel’s famous Tennessee whiskey with Apple Cider liqueur and holiday spices. I’m not entirely sure what qualifies as a holiday spice, but I’m hoping the term somehow includes beautiful women bedecked in Christmas lingerie. Now fetch me some mistletoe and dangle that shrubbery from all the required erogenous zones!

Peppermint Schnapps

I’m not sure why, perhaps its candy canes, but the peppermint flavour has a rich history and association with the Christmas season. It could also be because I spike a lot of drinks with Peppermint Schnapps when I’m out and about town in the chilly temperatures. One particular fond memory I have is from sneaking in a bottle at Disneyland and getting torched before the spectacular Christmas fireworks show, which finishes with a smattering of fake snow to frolic in.

Burnett’s Candy Cane Vodka

I’ve been planning to use this liquor during the Christmas season, ever since Ma and Pa Sip picked it up last year. In fact, it was featured in my recent Snowflaketini and I’ll probably bring it back for an encore performance later this month, so stay tuned… Burnett’s also has a Suger Cookie Vodka, as well!

Pinnacle Cinnamon Roll Vodka

Sticking with flavoured vodkas, one of the newest releases is a crossover between Pinnacle Vodka and Cinnabon to bring the world a Cinnamon Roll-based alcohol. Cinnabon buns are a bit of a tradition for Christmas morning breakfast for myself. We don’t have them every year, but when we do, it’s a very merry Christmas!

Kahlua Gingerbread

While most Kahlua products can be enjoyed during the winter, thanks to their excellent mixability with hot beverages like coffee and hot chocolate, the Kahlua Gingerbread release is a particular stand out for the holiday season. If you get wrecked enough on the sauce, you might even enjoy making your gingerbread house… that or destroy the entire village in some sort of stupor!

Evan Williams Egg Nog

There seems to be a dispute as to what liquor should go into your Egg Nog. I was raised to believe that some sort of rum should be used, preferably a spiced rum, but other places lean toward a whiskey or bourbon, as is the case with this product. I suppose, in the end, as long as your getting your swerve (and your nog) on, the debate doesn’t really matter!

Malibu Winter/Snowcoco

What’s neat about this product is that instead of just being coconut flavoured, the company actually added bits of coconut to the spirit and offered a window on the bottle through the labelling, so you could see the chunks float around, much like the bits in a snow globe. I think it only comes out as a seasonal release, so pick it up while you can.

Yukon Jack Perma Frost Liqueur

I grabbed this product last month and while I’ve always appreciated Peppermint Schnapps, the Perma Frost Liqueur takes that tradition to a whole ‘nutha level with the addition of cinnamon spice. Also, unlike Peppermint Schnapps, which usually comes in at about 20% alcohol content, Perma Frost packs a punch at a whopping 50%!

Sourz Spirited Winter

This limited edition release combines sour cranberry and sour apple, two of the holiday season’s most prolific fruits. I’m very curious to sample this libation, but I believe it may have only been released for a short time in 2010. Like Indiana Jones, I will find my treasure!

Vana Tallinn Winter Spice

Vana Tallinn is Estonia’s primary spirit and this is their winter adaptation. The liqueur is so good that it has been selected Best Estonian Food for 2013 in the alcohol category. It is enriched with holiday spices, such as cinnamon, cardamom, anise, and nutmeg. Mrs. Sip and I grabbed a bottle of Vana Tallinn last spring and now I wish I could have the Winter Spice, as well.

Drink #347: Tinsel Bellini

Rim glass with Sugar
2 oz Hpnotiq
1 oz Limoncello
Top with Champagne
Splash of Lime Juice

Of course, there’s also a bunch of Christmas-themed beers and wines out there, but I figured I’d stick to the harder stuff… art, imitating life!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
It was a total pain in the ass to achieve the icicle look using Simple Syrup and Sugar, but I think in the end the visuals totally made the frustration worth it. Blending Limoncello and Hpnotiq together was an interesting combo that tasted pretty good.

December 12 – Candy Cane

Posted on December 12, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

12 Days of Christmas

While the Sip Advisor is doubling the efforts of everyone out there and offering 25 days of Christmas rather than a paltry 12, one would have to admit that the damn 12 Days of Christmas song can really get stuck in your head. Upon reviewing the lyrics, I’ve decided to give each item listed in the tune a patron saint. So, let’s warm up our vocal chords and run the gauntlet!

12 Drummers Drumming – Animal from The Muppets

One of my favourite percussion artists of all-time and star of The Electric Mayhem (perhaps the greatest band name in the history of music!), Animal knows how to work the skins and cymbals. His trademark wild behaviour makes him a perfect addition to this menagerie of fascinating characters.

11 Pipers Piping – ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper

One of professional wrestling’s best bad guys, Roddy Piper knew how to ignite hatred within fans. He was the perfect mix of cocky, dastardly, and vicious, earning his way into the hearts of millions of fans worldwide.

10 Lords-a-Leaping – Michael Flatley

Whatever happened to this guy? He was the Lord of the Dance… and surely that included much leaping. Apaprently, Flatley is living the good life in Beverly Hills, probably creeping on all the 90210 teenagers and throwing around his millions of dollars.

9 Ladies Dancing – Jennifer Grey

You should never put Baby in a corner and I refuse to do so, as well. One would hope that if Jennifer Grey accepted this honourable position, that she’d bring the spirit of Patrick Swayze along with her and they could perform their hit numbers from Dirty Dancing.

8 Maids-a-Milking – The Octomom

You’d have to assume that the poor woman went through sheer agony over having to breast feed all eight of her newborns. Let’s just hope her jugs didn’t end up looking as disgusting as her pregnant alien-like belly did.

7 Swans-a-Swimming – Michael Phelps

I briefly considered Natalie Portman for this position, based on her role in Black Swan, but there are other positions I’d rather have her fill! Instead, Michael Phelps gets the part thanks to being the greatest swimmer this world has ever seen. 22 Olympic medals don’t lie, folks.

6 Geese-a-Laying – Anthony Edwards

While I hope to never see Anthony Edwards actually lay an egg, he gets the nod in this category as a result of playing Nick “Goose” Bradshaw in the 1986 classic, Top Gun. He was Tom Cruise’s greatest inspiration before Scientology rolled around and brainwashed the star.

5 Gold Rings – Mr. T

Thanks to all the jewelry Mr. T is usually rocking, he’d be perfect for this role. And why can Mr. T get away with wearing so many valuable? Because no one would ever mess with the guy. Even at the age of 61, I know for a fact that he would kick my ass… that’s not saying much, but you have to credit the guy for still being a BA badass.

4 Colly Birds – Paul McCartney

I didn’t even know what a colly bird was and apparently it’s nothing exciting. It’s a common blackbird (that’s what they’re actually called) and so I add sainthood to sir Paul McCartney’s long list of accolades. He wrote the Beatles classic Blackbird and seems to understand the fowl best.

3 French Hens – Brigitte Bardot

This broad was quite the looker in her younger days. At age 79, Bardot seems to have gone a little nutty, but it’s hard to tell as that seems to be a typical personality trait for the French. Still, anyone who posed for Playboy to celebrate their own 40th birthday is rockin’ it in my books.

Where the hell is that phone hooked up???

2 Turtle Doves – Turtle from Entourage

Wait, a turtle dove is a bird… what the hell? Half of this song is about gifts of birds… I don’t want any damn birds. I’m trying to rid the world of these vermin. I still pick Turtle because he’ll at least bring a party atmosphere to the organization.

And a Partridge in a Pear Tree – Danny Bonaduce

Surely, with all the drugs and crazy antics Danny Bonaduce has gotten up to in his life, the former Partridge Family child star has awoken to find himself nestled in a pear tree on at least one occasion. Rock on, you crazy ginger!

Drink #346: Candy Cane

Rim glass with Crushed Peppermint
0.75 Peppermint Schnapps
0.75 Vodka
0.75 Crème de Cacao
Dash of Grenadine
Top with Milk
Splash of Club Soda
Garnish with a Candy Cane

Do you have any issues with my patron saint selections? I’m willing to listen to ideas for other candidates and if you sway me with a sound argument, I just may give you some credit. Ready, set, go!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I liked this martini, despite how much of a pain it is to produce Crushed Candy Cane bits for the rim. I made quite the mess putting that element together. The drink completely tasted like a Candy Cane and was quite enjoyable.

December 11 – The Woolly Mitten

Posted on December 11, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Home for the Holidays

One of the best things to do at Christmas is watch cherished holiday episodes of your favourite TV shows, while getting warm and toasty by the fire. Here are some of my favourite shows and episodes for Christmas spirit.

Married… with Children

In ‘It’s a Bundy-ful Life’, the always down on his luck, Al Bundy, is shown what his family’s life would be like if he wasn’t around. In a twist on It’s a Wonderful Life, Al decides that his family is too happy and has such a better life without him that that’s reason enough to continue living. This hour-long episode featured late comedian Sam Kinison in the guardian angel role.

South Park

The animated sensation has a bunch holiday episodes under its belt (even having its own DVD release of the collection) and in true South Park style, they use such absurdities as Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo to get their message across. The boys have even travelled to the bizarre world of Canada for Christmas, with Cartman wanting desperately to get home to his presents.

Home Improvement

Tim ‘the Tool Man’ Taylor is a house’s worst nightmare. With all of his renovation schemes – most of which end in disaster – if a home had feelings, they would fear for their existence with Mr. Taylor around. Christmas time is no different, as Tim pulls out all the stops in his attempt to decorate his home and compete with neighbours over who has the best set-up.

Beavis and Butt-head Do Christmas

While their delinquent brand of humour might not be for everyone (it certainly isn’t for Mrs. Sip), this Christmas episode is incredibly funny. In the first segment, Beavis is head honcho at Burger World and is visited by three ghosts to learn the true meaning of Christmas. After a break for some Christmas music videos, the second installment follows Butt-head being shown that everyone’s lives would be better without him existing.

The Simpsons

It’s no surprise that The Simpsons would land a spot on this list. While they haven’t offered a Christmas episode in each of their 25 seasons, the ones they have done are quite memorable. In the first Simpson’s Christmas airing (the first full-length episode actually!), the family found its dog, Santa’s Little Helper, a turned away ex-racing mutt. The family has also battled commercialism during the holidays with a war on the Funzo toy release.

Community

Each year, the Community folks have provided an interesting Christmas episode, similar to their efforts at Halloween. In the show’s second season, the holiday episode featured the cast turned into stop-motion animation, similar to the Rankin/Bass specials, as Abeb searches for the meaning of Christmas. I don’t think I’d do very well in a stop-motion animation world!

The Office

The annual office Christmas party provides ample opportunity for laughs. I only thank the heavens above that my company doesn’t really do the Christmas thing. Do you think I want to be around my colleagues any longer than I actually have to be? Anyway, the antics of this rag tag bunch always seem to ramp up around the holidays and each Christmas party has its own issues to be dealt with.

Drink #345: The Woolly Mitten

1.5 oz Southern Comfort
1.5 oz Bailey’s Irish Crème
1 oz Peppermint Schnapps
Top with Hot Chocolate
Garnish with Whipped Cream

There are far too many Christmas episodes out there in TV Land to get to them all, but if you have any specific suggestions for the Sip Advisor, I’m all ears!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
As I’ve written before, I’m not a huge fan of warm drinks, but I do make the occasional exception for Hot Chocolate. Where this drink was good is that all the liquors tasted good together and amongst the Hot Water and Cocoa Powder. Whip Cream is always fun to use and the Crushed Candy Canes sprinkled on top was one of my better ideas.

December 3 – Chocolate Peppermintini

Posted on December 3, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Christmas Classics

Especially given it’s the winter months and the weather outside is frightful, it’s nice to snuggle up and watch a bevy of classic Christmas films. What should you include in your movie marathon? Ask and you shall receive. Here are my favourite Christmas flicks!

It’s a Wonderful Life

I absolutely adore this classic. And when you think about it, many of us might have never viewed the tale that has been copied and parodied so many times. It was never intended to be a “Christmas movie”, but that’s what it became. Jimmy Stewart is amazing throughout the movie (no surprise there, as the dude is actually an American hero) and his portrayal of George Bailey, who is too often in the wrong place at the wrong time, is one of the most treasured characters in cinema history.

Elf

The story of Buddy the Elf (Will Ferrell at his usual level of crazy!) searching out his father and integrating into the fast-paced world of New York City is a fun movie to get into the swing of things during the holidays. Buddy has to work hard to get the hardened folks of New York City, as well as the rest of the world to find their Christmas spirit, which powers Santa’s sleigh, of course. The film, which has material both kids and parents alike can enjoy, has even led to a Broadway musical.

Bad Santa

If you’ve been following this site for any period of time, you knew that a raunchier film was going to come up at some point… here it is! Billy Bob Thornton plays Willie T. Stokes, an alcoholic womanizer who roams from town to town as a mall Santa, staking out his place of occupation in order to rob the store before moving on to the next score. Things are different this time when he falls for a woman and a loner kid and decides to eventually change his ways.

A Christmas Carol/Scrooge

It’s hard to pick a version that is best to view, but my favourites include The Muppet version (no surprise there) and probably the edition with Alastair Sim playing the cranky curmudgeon. Like It’s a Wonderful Life, this is another Christmas tale that has been parodied constantly, as Ebenezer Scrooge is visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future, warning him that if he doesn’t change his ways, many will be affected and no one will care when his time on the earth is done.

Home Alone

While I’d caution folks who wish to view any of the movies past Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, the first two entries are cinematic gems. As a kid, you only wanted to see the last segments of the films, where plucky Kevin McCallister sends burglars Harry and Marv (The Wet Bandits) through his nightmarish house of horrors, but with age and wisdom, I’ve come to realize the movies are much more than that. They include a lot of wonderful Christmas imagery and are perfect holiday romps.

A Christmas Story

This movie is a family favourite around the Sip Advisor offices. The story sees young Ralphie embark on a quest to receive a Red Ryder BB Gun for Christmas. He runs into obstacles at every corner from his teacher giving him a poor grade on his essay on what he wants for Christmas to Santa Claus himself (a mall Santa that is) telling him he’ll shoot his eye out… and he nearly does in the end. TV network TBS has been known to broadcast the movie in a 24-hour cycle on Christmas day, so if you haven’t seen it yet, shame on you!

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

What a treasure this movie is. From Cousin Eddie’s antics to the misadventures of the hapless Clark Griswold, there are so many laughs in this film. Clark is looking to provide his family the perfect Christmas experience, much like the ones he enjoyed as a youngster. That all goes awry as the holiday becomes more of a nightmare with each incident, underscored by Clark’s uncertainty of whether his Christmas bonus will arrive and allow him to build a swimming pool for his clan.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Some people crap on this flick, but I think it’s quite enjoyable. Thanks to the longer running time, not afforded to the cartoon special classic, we get a better understanding of why the Grinch hates Christmas and all the Who’s down in Whoville. Jim Carrey was the perfect choice to play the ‘mean one’ whose heart grew three times that day. This movie ushered in the chain of Dr. Suess stories to be adapted for feature films; some good, some bad… this is one of the good ones.

Die Hard & Die Hard 2: Die Harder

I’m a little disappointed that this series abandoned the Christmas time setting after the first two releases. This is for the action fan out there that wants only a sprinkle of the Christmas spirit in their movies. The first film begins with an office Christmas party that is invaded by terrorists while the sequel is set in an airport, as hero John McClane is waiting for his wife to arrive home for the holidays. Both movies are filled with shootouts, creative kills, and catchphrases galore!

Love, Actually

If you’re looking for a little more romance with your Christmas movie fare, give this film a try. It’s one of those “separate stories that all come together at the end” ensemble cast dealies, but it’s very good… even if Hugh Grant is a featured actor… a Prime Minister, no less. Set in Britain during the lead up to Christmas, the film sets out to prove that “Love, actually is all around us” and they hit the nail on the head through the interweaving narratives.

Drink #337: Chocolate Peppermintini

Rim glass with Christmas Sprinkles
1.5 oz Vodka (I used Smores)
1 oz Peppermint Schnapps
0.5 oz Crème de Cacao
0.5 oz Chocolate Liqueur
Top with Milk

What are your favourite Christmas movie viewings? I’m always looking to add to my annual “To Watch” list, so send those ideas in!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
While not a bad drink, Mrs. Sip didn’t like how sweet it was. I enjoyed its booziness and flavours (I mean, who doesn’t like chocolate and mint together!), although using the Smores Vodka might have altered the taste and a plain Vodka may have been bettered suited for the recipe.

September 6 – Wonderful Night

Posted on September 6, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Time of Your Life

“Mr. Sip Advisor, this is your life!”… that’s how the show detailing some of my greatest triumphs would start. Every day is amazing for me, but some reach a level of infamy that leave it permanently burned into my brain. Good thing, too, cause with all the alcohol… wait, what were we talking about? You may quickly notice a trend in that my relationship with Mrs. Sip factors into a lot of these tales, but that shouldn’t be a surprise to any of you little sippers. Here are a few of the greatest days of my life:

Wedding Day – August 25, 2012

Well, this one was an obvious choice. I’m not one to hog attention or anything like that, but on your wedding day, everyone is there for YOU. Thankfully, the bride gets more attention than the groom (which allows the groom to more easily sneak out and enjoy some beers in the parking lot with his groomsmen). Our wedding was amazing, complete with wonderful weather, touching speeches, amazing food, a wonderful candy buffet, a rocking live band (Vancouver’s Bobcats), and fantastic drinks to boot. You plan so diligently for one day and then it’s gone. Happily, everything went according to plan and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Engagement – December 25, 2010

Backtracking a little, as we approached Christmas Day 2010, Mrs. Sip had no clue what was about to happen to her life. Perhaps if she did know, we wouldn’t have both got sick and spent Christmas Eve bundled up and passing out to Neo-Citron servings, all while watching the god-awful Babes in Toyland. It was our first Christmas living together and I wanted to make it especially memorable. I’d had the ring since September and was able to keep the whole thing a secret from everyone except my future father-in-law. Christmas Day finally arrived and I popped the question. Thankfully, Mrs. Sip didn’t hesitate in saying yes. That day, we were able to announce to both our families that we were now engaged… well, I had to do all that work, as Mrs. Sip completely lost her voice in all the excitement!

Christopher Titus Show – April 12, 2013

Taking a brief break from relationship milestones, we have this wonderful day in Sip history, which I have this site to thank for the entire experience, as I checked Titus’ tour schedule while researching an article and discovered he would be in Tacoma, WA at the Tacoma Comedy Club. Mrs. Sip, always up for a wild time, instantly said yes to going and we booked our tickets. Dinner at Red Lobster and my first BevMo visit were precursors to a fantastic night of comedy. Titus did over an hour of work, followed by a half-hour long encore, and even met with audience members afterwards. Following the show, still buzzing from what a great night it had been (and the great drinks that the Club makes), Mrs. Sip and I cracked a bottle of wine at 2:30 am. I was up until 4am thinking about everything good in life before finishing the last drops and finally getting some rest.

First Bungee Jump – December 2, 2008

Any day that starts with McDonald’s is a good one in my books, but all the things that followed made it truly amazing! After a lunch that included a treasure childhood treat in shaker fries, Mrs. Sip and I made our way to the Taupo Bungy location. I was a little nervous the entire walk there, but there was no way I was going to back out. I’d wanted to do this for years. After signing away my life, I was strapped into the jumping gear and led out onto a platform high above the water below. Looking down, I couldn’t believe I was about to leap into thin air and before I knew it, I was hurdling through the sky. All that excitement was followed by a trip to a hot spring with beers in hand, as we drank the night away!

Asking Mrs. Sip Out – March 22, 2002

Of course, anytime in Disneyland – the happiest place on earth, you know – is special, but the energy level is heightened even more when you’re pursuing a lovely girl, with the hopes of busting out of your shy shell and asking her out on a date. Cousin Sip was playing matchmaker and things were going well in the couple evenings we were able to all hang out together. I had long thought about the perfect way of completing my task, but I never figured things would come together as perfectly as they did.There we stood, in front of the famous Cinderella Castle, the nightly firework show illuminating the sky and I turned to her and popped the question. She said yes… how could she not at least give me a chance with this scenario playing out!? The asking was done. Now I just needed to win her heart.

First Date with Mrs. Sip – March 30, 2002

One week after asking the gorgeous and talented future Mrs. Sip out, we went on our first true date. We had had a couple really good phone conversations in the days leading up to our rendezvous and I think we were both hoping it would go as well as our non-face-to-face meetings. The night started with me picking Mrs. Sip up and heading to the local theatre where we watched Panic Room. Following that, it was time to satiate the ol’ sweet tooth (and I don’t mean on Mrs. Sip), so we were off to find dessert. We shared a hot fudge brownie and talked until they closed the restaurant. I knew things were going well when she agreed to come back to my place to continue talking. I finally dropped her off at home around 2am with plans to reconvene in a couple days… she was mine!

Drink #249: Wonderful Night

0.3 oz Peppermint Schnapps
0.3 oz Gin
0.3 oz Vodka
0.3 oz Galliano
0.3 oz Blue Curacao
Top with Apple-Lime Juice
Garnish with an Apple Pick and Lime Wheel

I think everyone should do an exercise like this to truly help you feel special. It’s been said so many times that it starts to lose meaning, but we really need to embrace each day we have and make the best of our lives. I like to think, thanks to the evidence above, that I’ve done exactly that!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (5 Sips out of 5):
Perhaps this cocktail benefits from low expectations, thus resulting in its high score, but it is delicious. Mrs. Sip didn’t agree with my assessment, but that’s why she’s only Mrs. Sip and not the Sip Advisor. The Peppermint Schnapps is actually really nice with all the other spirits playing their own role. Definitely give this one a whirl!

May 12 – Mother Love

Posted on May 12, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Momma’s Boys

We all love our moms, but perhaps these guys hung around a little too long for extra seasoning. It’s funny how many classic characters (and it always seems to be sons) lived at home for way too long and can’t really function in the outside world on their own. On that note: Happy Mother’s Day!

Buster Bluth – Arrested Development

Perhaps the definition of Mamma’s boy, Buster Bluth’s personality is the result of being smothered by his mother for most of his life. As a result when Lucille Bluth wants Baby Buster to get on with his life, he’s stuck in a childlike state of uncertainty and confusion. Still, the guy manages to be sent off to the military and other misadventures as he tries to prove himself to the entire Bluth family… but mostly his mom.

Norman Bates – Psycho

This boy’s obsession with his mother went waaaaayyyy too far! I don’t like spoiling things, but I think we all know that Bates is revealed to be killing people at his family’s motel, while being dressed like his deceased mother. Creepy stuff, dude.

Cliff Clavin – Cheers

Cliff Clavin and his ma are known to have the occasional row, as Cliff looks to spread his wings and become a man. Too bad he’s already a middle age, postal carrier who spends a majority of his free time at the local watering hole. Hopefully Cliffy didn’t get his factually inaccurate trivial knowledge from his ma as well.

Principal Skinner – The Simpsons

Much like Cliff Claven and his mom, Seymour Skinner and his mother seem to always be at odds. Whether it’s over the bath pillow, Seymour having friends and dates over, or his professional aspirations, Agnes Skinner seems to want to control every aspect of her son’s life. This often results in an exasperated principal and some of their rows have even required police intervention.

Robert Barone – Everybody Loves Raymond

While his brother lives next door, raising a family with his wife, Robert is still stuck in his parents’ home, under the strict rule and care of his mother. His brother Ray is about the same level of momma’s boy as Robert is, but because Ray is out on his own (one whole house over from his parents) he often slips under the radar.

Hoyt Fortenberry – True Blood

Poor, poor Hoyt. His mother tries to control every little aspect of his life, from who he dates, to where he lives, and even what he wears. That’s a horrible situation to be in when you’ve constantly running from any manner of vampires, werewolves, shifters, fairies and other otherworldly beings.

Walt, Larry, Igner – Futurama

Being the sons of the confectionary icon “Mom” would be tough on any son. While she shows a sickeningly sweet appearance to the outside world, Mom is in fact a harsh, domineering, woman, who has high expectations for her offspring, while not letting them move too far away from the nest.

Joffrey Baratheon – Game of Thrones

Joffrey is trying to break out of his mother’s tall and beautiful shadow, despite all her efforts (and there’s been numerous “efforts”) to see her son sit on the iron throne.. under her careful guidance. Thanks to his unconventional upbringing, Joffrey is a little psychopath in the making and that will surely make the rest of the series very intriguing to watch unfold!

Howard Wolowitz – Big Bang Theory

That Howard didn’t dispose of his mother and her infuriating voice before finding a girl and moving out of the house is a miracle of modern science. Maybe that’s why the genius went into engineering in the first place!

Drink #132: Mother Love

1.5 oz Whiskey (I used Crown Royal)
0.5 oz Peppermint Schnapps
Garnish with three Junior Mints

This post is dedicated to my own Mama Sip and to all the lovely mothers out there in Sip Nation. Without you, none of us would be here and we thank you all for taking care of us!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Given the proportions, you’d expect to only get a hint of peppermint schnapps, but that’s just not how the liquor rolls. I wouldn’t say it overwhelms, but it’s prevalent. I definitely suggest using a good whiskey with this drink, like I did.

May 6 – Spiritual Enlightenment

Posted on May 6, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Spiritually Speaking

Once you read through my list of spirit guides – those that I dub the Sinister Seven – you may notice some themes and common threads. This is what makes the Sip Advisor the man he is today: a Canadian icon and treasure!

Master Shake – Aqua Teen Hunger Force

The only thing Master Shake cares about is having fun. Sadly, the anthropomorphised drink container doesn’t have the necessary funds to accomplish most of his desires and thus has to settle for pleasures within his means, like swimming in neighbor Carl’s filthy pool. His lack of riches doesn’t stop him from arrogantly boasting about various skills he thinks he possesses, so you gotta give him props for believing in himself.
When to summon: When it’s party time, obviously!

Jeff Winger – Community

Mr. Winger was able to fake an entire law career for years, until he was busted by a competing colleague. As the husband of a lawyer, I know that this surely was no easy task and full credit has to be given to someone who exuded so much confidence and intelligence to pull the rouse off.
When to summon: In situations when massive amounts of swagger will put you over the edge.

Roger Smith – American Dad

Roger is a self-described “advanced drinker” and as all you little sippers have learned over our past few months together, no moniker has ever fit this Sip Advisor better than that. While I’ll leave the disguises and alter egos to my alien friend, I do like Roger’s penchant for stirring the pot and getting into (and out of) sticky situations. Might as well have some fun while we’re here on earth!
When to summon: Anytime liquor is being cracked open for mass consumption.

Sterling Archer – Archer

Your Sip Advisor may not be a secret agent, but he does share many traits with one of the best in the business. First and foremost, our complete and utter misunderstanding of “core concepts” has bonded us for eternity. Next comes our love, appreciation, and total devotion to sweet lady liquor. Archer is afraid to quit drinking cold turkey because of the massive hangover he feels has accumulated and is now pending should he ever quit. I’ve never been able to put those same thoughts into words before.
When to summon: When the skills and touch of a secret agent are necessary, like bedding numerous females in a single mission.

Zack Morris – Saved by the Bell

Zack had all the right moves to accomplish everything from ditching detention to winning the heart of Kelly Kapowski. Usually with the help of friend and resident nerd Screech, Zack got up to so much mischief during his formative years that the principal’s office was a second home to him.
When to summon: In any situation that harkens back to your days as a teenager and high school student… or at least any time your cell phone is as big as your forearm.

Daniel Tosh – Tosh.0

No topic is off limits for Daniel Tosh and he isn’t concerned whether or not he’s crossing a line and offending anyone. People nowadays can be way too cautious, afraid anything they say or do may set off a cluster bomb of hysteria and backlash against them. The safe and easier road more travelled is not for this comedian.
When to summon: In moments where freedom of speech is the only right you really have left anymore.

Bucky Katt – Get Fuzzy

Bucky is always scheming and thinking up his next big idea and opportunity to grift his roommates – human Rob Wilco and dog Satchel Pooch – out of some cash. He has tried everything from a line of clothing, to merging two popular products together into one, to even writing his own poetry. That’s a pretty good resume for someone that sleeps 20 hours each day.
When to summon: When the entrepreneurial spirit hits you and you feel like hitting back… or when you feel that you just need a good nap.

Drink #126: Spiritual Enlightenment

1 oz Crème de Cacao
1 oz Peppermint Schnapps
1 oz Grand Marnier
Garnish with Spearmint Life-Saver

Who do you, my little sippers, summon when you are in need of a spirit check? If anyone takes the time to summon me, just please know that I am not available between the hours of 12:01am-11:59pm… that’s my time. I am available on a per crisis basis right around midnight each night, so please feel free to hit me up if you are in need!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
This cocktail restored my faith in Crème de Menthe, as this drink wasn’t half bad… it wasn’t half good either, so I settled at a 2.5. Mrs. Sip thought it tasted like an After Eight chocolate and would have rated it a bit higher but I felt that the Grand Marnier is completely wasted in this drink. Plus, if the cocktail’s creator had been a clever, it would have been called Spiritual EnlightenMINT instead!

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