Cuba – Frizzante Mojito

Posted on January 13, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Castro Calamity

From the Great White North of Canada, we jet set our way to the Republic of Cuba. We have to leave via Canada because no flights from the U.S. go to the communist country. Speaking of communism, it has been discovered that the government of the United States tried to assassinate Fidel Castro an estimated 638 times, as they opposed the dictator’s rule. Here are some of the craziest plans they drew up!

Cartoon Violence

We’ve all seen the famous exploding cigar cartoon gag and apparently the CIA thought it was a pretty good idea, too. Heck, if Bugs Bunny can make it work, why couldn’t they. Castro was known to have a love of cigars (Cuban, of course), so why not slip an explosive one into his collection and let him light his own ending. The CIA also had a plan for cigars contaminated with botulin to be given to Castro, showing smoking definitely can kill!

Shaken, Not Stirred

As much as Castro loved his stogies, he also had a penchant for milkshakes, particularly the ones made at the Havana Hilton. Therefore, the CIA tried to poison his frosted treat. Apparently, the plan went awry when the deadly pill froze to the surface of where it was being held and when the would-be assassin tried to pry it loose, the capsule split and the poison was lost. According to longtime Castro bodyguard Fabian Escalante, this was the closest Castro came to meeting his maker.

PADI Certified

The Cuban Prime Minister was also an avid scuba diver and this factored into two attempts on his life. First, plans were hatched to give Castro a scuba suit infected with spores of tubercle bacilli. When that fell through, discussion turned to rigging a conch shell with explosives and placing it in one of the areas Castro frequented and favoured when diving.

Womanizer

In their attempt to oust Castro from power, the CIA even turned to some of his many mistresses, hoping they would be vengeful enough to kill the Latin lover. One, Marita Lorenz, even smuggled poison capsules into Castro’s bedroom, but they dissolved in the jar of cold cream they had been stashed in. According to Lorenz, when Castro learned of the plot, he handed her his gun and challenged her to shoot him… she couldn’t even do that.

Bond Gadgets

If only things worked as well for the CIA as they always seem to for James Bond, thanks to gadget wizard Q. The CIA brainstormed such spy contraptions as a hypodermic needle inside a pen, with the hopes someone could get close enough to prick Castro and inject him with deadly toxins and get away with it. Speaking of deadly bacteria, there were also plans to give Castro an infected handkerchief, more commonly known as a snot rag.

Discredited

If they couldn’t kill him, the American government figured they could at least take him down a couple pegs and taint his image with Cubans. First, they strategized destroying his trademark beard with thallium salt, hoping this would make him look weak to citizens of the republic. Plans were also concocted to fill a radio station he was appearing on with LSD through an aerosol spray, hoping he would embarrass himself to the audience and lose their trust.

Cuba: Frizzante Mojito

Muddle Mint Leaves
1.5 oz Havana Club Rum
Top with Champagne
Splash of Lime Juice
Dash of Simple Syrup
Dashes of Angostura Bitters
Garnish with a Lime Wedge

Castro once joked about the assassination attempts: “If surviving assassination attempts were an Olympic event, I would win the gold medal.” If you have a clever way you would have used to eliminate the former Cuba leader, share it below. It can’t be any worse than some of the stuff the CIA and others actually tried!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I have written before about my dislike of Champagne, but this recipe may change my wicked heart. I love Mojitos and it was fun to have the bubbles associated with Champagne as part of the traditional cocktail. The sweetness level can be changed with how much Simple Syrup you choose to add. The group I sampled this drink with preferred little to no sweetness and enjoyed the dryness of the cocktail.

October 16 – Old Fashioned

Posted on October 16, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Bucket List

The day before my 30th birthday, I shared with all you little sippers my 30-for-30 accomplishments. Today, I’m going to look deep into my own soul and reveal some of the things I still want to accomplish. I can’t share everything, though, as there’s only so much the FCC will let my divulge!

Fly First Class – After all my jet-setting around the world, I have never enjoyed the pleasures of first class… that will have to change!

Touch a Snake – I’m not shy in admitting that I’m afraid of snakes. I fully intend to work up the courage (or intoxication level) to finally touch one, even if only briefly.

Go Skydiving – This is one thrill that has eluded me and I’ve found a number of people who want to join in this accomplishment. Let’s get it done folks!

Learn to Play the Drums – Like all my idols before me (John Bonham, Danny Bonaduce, Animal from the Muppets), drumming is in my soul and I’d love to learn it more than my mastering of the Rock Band game controller version.

Visit Antarctica – Mrs. Sip and I will virtually travel anywhere, but hitting Antarctica would give us our seventh and final continent!

Compete in Endurance Event – Whether it is Tough Mudder or some other course, I’m game for a little self-punishment.

Get a Doctorate – Not the real thing, of course, but one of those celebrity dealies!

Attend a Stanley Cup Parade – Preferably in my hometown (sans riot), as the Vancouver Canucks hoist the NHL championship.

Perform Stand-up Comedy – I’m not saying I’ll be a success, but I’d love to work up the courage just once to hit the stage and tell a few jokes before I’m barred from performing ever again!

Rent a House Boat – The Sip Advisor loves to party… and he loves being on the water. Put the two together and get the gang together for a wild time off the grid!

Create a Man-Cave – I think it’s every man’s dream to create their own mancave, dedicated to the worship of hot women, sports, alcohol, games, and everything manly.

Publish a Book – If there are any publishing people out there, you know how wickedly awesome this site is. Let’s make it into a book and share the cocktail goodness.

Travel into Space – This is another objective that both Mrs. Sip and I share. We’re hoping mass space tourism eventually happens in our lifetime (not the pay $20-$40 million type) and we’ll be quick to snatch up tickets.

Create my own Alcohol – And I’m not talking about one of those home brew kits… I want to invent, manufacture, and market my own spirit. All I need is a rich benefactor and we’ll be off to the races!

Get a Tattoo – I have this image in my head of my little buddy Furious B (he’s a cat) eating a potato chip that I must make real! Just kidding, I do have a design in mind, just waiting for the right time to get inked.

Do a Cliff Dive – Always one to take a shot at various danger sports, this is a goal I hope to accomplish in some exotic locale… an exotic locale that recognizes my health insurance, that is.

Catch a Fish – Despite fishing a few times when I was younger, I have still yet to snag a catch. Although we did find a starfish in a self-made crab trap I helped with recently. Does that count?

Be in a Food Fight – I would harness my best inner-Bluto Blutarsky and go wild with the ranch dressing. It may sting the eyes, making it the perfect food fight projectile!

Drink #289: Old Fashioned

2 oz Bourbon/Whiskey (I used Apple Pie Moonshine)
1 Sugar Cube
2 Orange Slices
Dashes Angostura Bitters
Garnish with Maraschino Cherry & Orange Slice

What else do you think should be on the Sip Advisor’s bucket list? I eagerly await your advice!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (5 Sips out of 5):
I picked this classic recipe from a couple cocktail bucket lists, as it’s one I’ve intended to do with this project all along. My choice of using Apple Pie Moonshine may break some of the rules for this drink, but it tasted absolutely delicious. This may be my favourite classic beverage so far, as the Apple Pie flavour mixed well with the Orange Slices and Maraschino Cherry. Just plain ol’ good drinking!

September 4 – Playmate Martini

Posted on September 4, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Listless

As an internet entrepreneur, I’m always looking to raise my stock and evolve this brand. That can be helped greatly by making one of the popular vote lists that have run amok all over the world. These are the famous, world-recognized lists I hope to make:

Forbes 500

As I continue to grow this little congregating spot for alcoholics and the severely depressed alike, money will surely start rolling in (you know, once I design my line of Little Sipper Wear) and the empire of Sip will begin to take shape. I’d also settle for topping Forbes’ list of Richest Fictional Characters because when you live in a world of fantasy, such as I do, reality dissipates as quick as a frozen cocktail melts.

Top 30 Under 30

Sadly, I only have a month left to do this, but when there’s a will, there’s a way! I’m sure the maker’s of this list would make a special exemption for the Sip Advisor, should the deadline pass and I have not had the honour bestowed upon myself. I guess I can always regroup and shoot for 40 Under 40, but then things seem to get a little diluted as far as quality goes. Perhaps we should work on a Facebook/Twitter campaign in my honour!

Sexiest Man Alive

I know all you little sippers out there are shocked I haven’t already topped this list, but I’ve been practically black balled by the voters for fear that once I was selected, the list would lose all meaning. While I take issue with their stance, I do understand that chaos would result with my gracing the cover of this prestigious magazine and it wouldn’t be long before we heard the thundering patter of the Four Horsemen in the distance.

Oprah’s Book Club

It really doesn’t matter what I write, but if I can put together some piece of work that Oprah endorses, I’ll have millions of unhappy housewives around the world eating out of the palm of my hand. It could be a tell-all memoir detailing the sordid life I lead or perhaps I’ll simply compile all the awesome adventures we’ve shared thanks to this site. Either way, I thirst for that stamp of approval!

Playmate of the Month

This is one I’ve worked really hard for. Of course, I would be featured in Playgirl Magazine for all the lonely ladies out there to lust over. My greatest feature is probably my finely-manicured ears, which will surely stand out in any pictorial spread. I’m not even going to be greedy and ask for Playmate of the Year… just throw me a bone and give me one of the 12 months… is that too much to ask!?

Drink #247: Playmate Martini

0.5 oz Courvoisier Cognac
0.5 oz Grand Marnier
0.5 oz Apricot Brandy
Top with Orange Juice
Dash of Egg Whites
Dash of Angostura Bitters
Garnish with Strawberry and Raspberry

Have I missed any lists that are a must to be on? Which lists do you long to be inducted onto? I’ll try my best to make all of our dreams come true!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
The Egg Whites add a nice foamy layer to the top of the cocktail, which enhances its look and taste. As usual, the Apricot Brandy is delicious and here it is boosted even further by top end liquors Grand Marnier and Courvoisier Cognac.

August 6 – The Three Ladies

Posted on August 6, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

All the Right Moves

I wish I had the skills these dudes have at making women swoon for them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no slouch, but it’s not like I can ever claim to have bedded three girls in the same movie or dated a menagerie of playmates all at the same time. I have, however, been named ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ by People Magazine, so I got that going for me! Here are the world’s finest Ladies Men:

Leon Phelps, The Ladies’ Man

The Saturday Night Live sketch character was always known to be surrounded by beautiful ladies, a roaring fire, and his snifter filled with Courvoisier Cognac (today’s featured alcohol). In this setting, the Ladies’ Man often waxed philosophical about how to treat a lady and efficiently get them into bed with you. While some question his techniques, the man speaks from experience.

James Bond

When not saving the world from a megalomaniac baddie, Double-0-7 can usually be found between the sheets with any number of beautiful women. His trysts never last long though, as his interest turns on him, is killed by a henchman or villain, or simply disappears with the beginning of a new mission and adventure. All that lovin’ and he doesn’t have to deal with any emotional mess… lucky bastard!

Austin Powers

The ‘International Man of Mystery’, Austin Powers, uses his mojo to shag just as many women as his inspiration, James Bond. While chasing down the diabolical Dr. Evil, Powers’ escapades present him with ample opportunity to work his magic on the fairer sex. His laundry list of bedmates includes Vanessa Kensington, Felicity Shagwell, and Foxxy Cleopatra. Best of all, he’s been able to land ladies across decades thanks to being frozen and his time travel exploits.

George Clooney

Cloontang was named People Magazine’s ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ in both 1997 and 2006, as well as TV Guide’s ‘Sexiest Star of All-Time,’ and the perennial bachelor has dated an endless list of the world’s most attractive women. From former wrestling personality Stacy Keibler to the future Mrs. John Travolta (Kelly Preston), Clooney has wooed them all.

Not sure if this falls under the ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ category!

Barney Stinson

Barney Stinson knows all the tricks in the book (he even wrote a couple guides) to make women fall for him instantly. Neil Patrick Harris gained the role thanks to playing a greatly exaggerated version of himself in the Harold and Kumar series of movies. Ironically, the Stinson womanizing character is a total contrast to NPH’s real life, where he is a monogamous gay man.

Val Venis

Wrestling’s most notable ladies’ man burst onto the scene in 1998 and quickly made a reputation for himself, wooing a number of fellow wrestler’s wives, girlfriends, valets, and even a rival’s sister. The porn star character would then make films with these girls, sending his opponents into a rage long before they met in the ring. An attempted castration of Venis was even attempted after he stole the wife of Mr. Yamaguchi. Yes, this actually happened on live TV!

Yes, there was actually a castration scene in professional wrestling…

Sterling Archer

Despite being a total dick, Archer has a way with the ladies. Perhaps it’s because he’s completely, 100% awesome! How can you not fall in love with a guy who drinks as much as he does and still functions at a secret agent level of ability? Sure he’s a little rough around the edges, but women are always looking for a fixer-upper and in Archer, you have the best of all worlds.

Hugh Hefner

The media magnate responsible for Playboy magazine has led a storied life full of beautiful women, often finding himself being shared by multiple females at the same time… and they’re usually girls that could be his great granddaughter! He’s currently married to a young lass 60 years his junior. Every guy dreams of hanging out at the Playboy Mansion grotto, surrounded by a bevy of lovely ladies and we have ol’ Hef to thank for that.

Drink #218: The Three Ladies

1 oz Courvoisier Cognac
0.5 oz Triple Sec
Splash of Lemon Juice
Splash of Club Soda
Dash of Simple Syrup
Dash of Angostura Bitters
Garnish with Lime Wedges and Mint Leaves

We’ve all learned a lot from these individuals and it’s time to put our knowledge to the test. Oh, Mrs. Sip, where are you? It’s time to play! Now where could she be hiding? Until next time…

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
There’s not much to this cocktail, but it still manages to be refreshing and flavourful, while remaining light. The Cognac comes through nicely for a fine finish.

August 5 – The Beauty Beneath

Posted on August 5, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Beautiful British Columbia

Today is B.C. Day in my neck of the woods. It is a day to celebrate our fine province with outdoor activities, wonderful food and drink, and great family and friends. With that in mind, here are some of the top attractions in British Columbia. Come by and visit sometime, ya hear!

Whistler

Travelling along the Sea-to-Sky Highway, you will float up through the clouds to the mountain resort of Whistler, which is a top destination throughout the year. In the winter, it is a haven for skiers and snowboarders, who can take to the slopes and enjoy some of the finest white powder this side of Colombia! When summer rolls around, the village becomes a wonderful place for a scenic hike or bike ride, quickly followed by a cold pint amongst some of the finest nature you’ll ever find.

Grouse Grind

For the outdoor adventurer, the Grouse Grind is something that has to be done to see how you fare against travelers from around the world. The unofficial record stands at 23 minutes and 48 seconds, but most hikers will take about 90 to 120 minutes to complete the trek. You won’t get great views on the Grind, until you reach the top of Grouse Mountain, but it’s the challenge of the trail that keeps people coming back. At least there’s beer, food, and gondolas (for your return trip) at the top as your reward.

Downtown Vancouver

Home to the province’s most famous and desired citizen, yours truly (Mrs. Sip is a close second, however), my suggestion is to ride the hop-on, hop-off bus tour, which visits all the key areas of the core, including Gas Town, Granville Island, the West End, Chinatown, and everything in between. There are also some amazing dining options in the city, including Joe Fortes for seafood; Gotham Steakhouse for, you guessed it, steak; and Tojo’s for sushi.

Okanagan Valley Wine Country

While enjoying some of the province’s most gorgeous views, you can also visit a countless number of wineries and indulge in tastings that will have you wobbling through one vineyard after another. Over 60 grape varieties are grown in the Okanagan Valley, including a number of German styles, such as Riesling and Gewürztraminer. The region has some of B.C.’s warmest temperatures, to boot.

Stanley Park

This massive park is home to everything from an aquarium to a lagoon, statues to totem poles. It is a serious slice of Canadiana. From Stanley Park, visitors can walk, bike, or rollerblade the Sea Wall that encompasses Downtown Vancouver and enjoy all of the beaches that line the route. At Halloween and Christmas, the Stanley Park train takes thousands of guests through a themed ride that delights children and adults alike.

Sports

While we’ve lost some franchises over time (I never even got to a Grizzlies game in their short time here), the city still has a few offerings, including the beloved Vancouver Canucks (NHL), B.C. Lions (CFL), and Vancouver Whitecaps (MLS). We’re even getting a National Lacrosse League team back in 2014 and for fans of baseball, watching the Vancouver Canadians (an affiliate of the Toronto Blue Jays) at Nat Bailey Stadium makes for a memorable evening out.

Victoria

Home to B.C.’s parliament buildings and the capital of the province, Victoria is a 90-minute ferry ride over from the mainland, but it is well worth it. Victoria is the closest you can come in Canada to feeling like you’re in the U.K. (after all, it was named after Queen Victoria), with its afternoon tea service at the Empress Hotel, cathedrals, castles, and gardens.

Drink #217: The Beauty Beneath

1.5 oz Rum (I used Appleton)
0.5 oz Sweet Vermouth
0.5 oz Campari
0.5 oz Cointreau
Dash of Angostura Bitters
Garnish with Lemon, Lime and Orange Wedges

There are certainly other spots I’ve neglected and, of course, beauty can be found throughout the province. It’s all in the eye of the beholder. I tend to find beauty in the region’s best liquor stores, so to each their own!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
This is a strong martini, but that wasn’t a complete surprise. Campari leaves a bitter, lasting aftertaste that takes a little while to get used to and some may never enjoy it. This cocktail earns a barely passing grade because I liked the sweet touch that came through after the strong Appleton Rum, thanks to the Sweet Vermouth and Cointreau.

April 30 – Income Tax Cocktail

Posted on April 30, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

We Hate Your Job

It’s tax season, which always brings to mind how much we hate the government getting its grubby hands into our pockets and taking what is rightfully ours for useless things such as healthcare and schools. Pssh, who needs those, right? Well, I for one, hope that everyone gets a decent tax return which they can invest in liquor libations! Here are some other professions we can hate all year round:

Tax Agents

Whether it’s the IRS in the United States, CRS in Canada, or whatever it is in your neck of the woods, everyone hates the taxman. The Beatles summed-up this venomous attitude very well in their 1966 hit Taxman, singing “Should five per cent appear too small, Be thankful I don’t take it all.” How much do we hate paying our taxes? World Wrestling Entertainment even featured an evil tax agent as a character from 1991 to 1995. His name: Irwin R. Schyster… get it? IRS! Oh, those creative writers!

If you don’t pay your taxes, you’re gonna get an ass whooping!

Telemarketers

The thing that pisses me off the most about telemarketers and door-to-door salesmen and the like, is that they have this innate ability to know when you will be most irritated with their interruption and that’s when they choose to contact you. This annoyance can also come in the form of unsolicited mail, which just wastes your time to open, process, and shred.

Lawyers

Liar, lawyer… what’s the difference? I have to tread carefully around this entry, as not only is Mrs. Sip a practicing family law lawyer, but by proxy, a lot of our friends are practitioners as well. One wrong word and I’ll receive a formal notice informing me that I’ll be sleeping on the couch for a week. Have it your way, baby!

(Used) Car Salesmen

No matter how nice they may seem, we must always be leery of the greedy, underhanded, (used) car salesman. So many things can go wrong in buying a new or used car from getting a lemon to being cheated on price and other details. The whole industry is a little dubious as far as I have seen and I will avoid it like a plague.

I want to buy a car off of this dude!

Politicians

I personally dislike all politicians. I have no allegiance to any party or denomination and I fully intend on keeping it that way. I don’t even like talking politics and feel it should be banned from all dinner settings. That said, I believe I have a number of great ideas on how to change this place for the better and I hereby announce my candidacy in the upcoming election.

Parking Enforcers

We’ve all been there before. You’re two minutes late getting back to your car after your meter has run out and yet there’s already a ticket freshly placed on your windshield with no soul in sight to indicate who wrote it. They are like ghosts that vanish the moment they have ruined your day. That said, I’ve never had to pay a single parking ticket (not that I’m building a collection) and have been able to talk my way out of the couple violations left on my vehicle.

Tow Truck Operators

In a similar vein to parking enforcers, tow truck operators seem to prey on their next targets, just waiting for someone to slip up, even innocently, so they can get their next pick-up and meet their quota. A few TV shows have tried to show us that tow operators aren’t so bad, but the perception is a very tough one to improve.

Drink #120: Income Tax Cocktail

1.5 oz Gin (I used Beefeater)
0.75 oz Dry Vermouth
0.75 oz Sweet Vermouth
Splash of Orange Juice
Dashes of Angostura Bitters
Garnish with an Orange Twist

I’m just happy that bartender has to be one of the highest-ranked jobs on the list of jobs people adore. After all, we are responsible for helping you all get your buzz on and forget your troubles!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
There wasn’t much of a taste to this drink. I’m not sure if that’s because the Dry and Sweet Vermouth cancel each other out or because the other ingredients are so minimal that they don’t make much of a difference to the overall flavour. I’m a little flummoxed on this one, but at least it wasn’t bad.

January 3 – Manhattan

Posted on January 3, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

The Rat Pack enjoy a drink and a laugh together. Not a rare sight.

The Manhattan is one of my favourite cocktails. It makes me think about the glory days of The Rat Pack – it was among their preferred drink of choice, after all – and the sort of Golden Age they lived through. Back when you had to have some level of talent to be a star, instead of a boob job, hit YouTube video or trashy reality show. A time of fedora hats, pin-striped suits and crazy, yet mysteriously classy parties. I love the stories of Frank, Dean, Sammy and the gang working long hours filming their movies and partying through the night before heading back to work the next day. These guys oozed swagger and machismo and made it look easy. If these originators of cool loved the Manhattan, that’s good enough for me.

Near the top on my growing bucket list, liquor edition, is have a Manhattan, while in Manhattan. If I happen to be donning a fedora and be decked out in a pin-striped suit, that would be the icing on the cake. Not that I’m saying that I own a fedora and pin-striped suit (but I do). I like to think that I’d be making the boys proud.

The Manhattan recipe is fairly simple, but one of the beauties of it is the interchangeable parts. I like trying different whiskies and bourbons to achieve a different taste. Some of my preferred alcohols to use include Jim Beam Black Cherry Bourbon (suggested to me by an instructor at Fine Art Bartending), Jack Daniel’s Honey Whiskey (suggested by me to that very same instructor) and for the Canadian in all of us, Crown Royal. The Sweet Vermouth can also be subbed out for a variety of different results. Dry Vermouth can be used instead, as can other liqueurs like Maraschino Cherry flavoured, Grand Marnier and many other options. Be playful with your own recipe and see what you come up with.

There are two ways that I like to present the Manhattan. The first is in a martini glass (the traditional way) and the second is on ice in a rocks glass. Both drinks use the same proportions, with the only difference being that for the Manhattan martini, you stir (don’t shake) all the ingredients with ice and strain from a mixer. Both drinks I’ve garnished with a Maraschino cherry, although the cherry in the martini glass just sunk to the bottom to make nice bourbon-soaked treat waiting for you at the finish line!

Drink #3: The Manhattan

3 oz Whiskey or Bourbon of your choice (I used Jim Beam Black Cherry Bourbon)
2 oz Sweet Vemouth
Dashes of Angostura Bitters
Garnish with a Maraschino Cherry

Let me know if you have any whiskey suggestions or any other tweaks to the Manhattan recipe. Thanks for reading and enjoy!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I love Manhattans so much that I made two different versions! I’ve always been more of an ‘on the rocks’ type guy, but the Martini version of the cocktail was good, too. I have to give a super thumbs up to my decision to use Black Cherry Bourbon in these recipes and suggest you do, as well.

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Tag Archives: Angostura Bitters