April 5 – Pond Water

Posted on April 5, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Thoughts of Random

As I sipped this delicious cocktail, thoughts, ideas, and ponderings begin to pop into my head. It was as if this jungle juice was making my brain go into overdrive. Here’s what I was able to come up with, as I downed some Pond Water (which consequently doesn’t appear to be the colour of any pond water I’ve ever seen):

1) While in California a few weeks back, I overheard a Disneyland cast member say that while an entire area, dubbed Fantasy Faire, has been built to house all the Disney princesses, Tiana (from The Princess and the Frog) will remain in New Orleans Square… thus proving that segregation still exists in Disneyland?

Oh, so Beast is allowed to hang out with the princesses, but Tiana has to stay on the other side of the park!

2) Liquor stores should have wedding registries (just found out one of my favourite booze palaces actually offers this). This would have saved Mrs. Sip and myself a lot of time and aggravation. Can you imagine the fun your faithful Sip Advisor would have had going through the local liquor distributor and selecting items for guests to pick up? Hell, any item picked from there would be greeted with much happiness.

3) Why do jackasses at sports event try to be seen on TV? I don’t care that you’re there, and you probably won’t either once the $10 beer buzz wears off. Now sit your ass down and watch the game you paid hundreds of dollars to be at.

4) How can McDonalds call their burger Cheeseburger Deluxe when it doesn’t come with pickles? Seriously!?

5) Staying with Mickie D’s, it was very disappointing to finally order the 40-piece McNugget Meal and not get one box full of 40 nuggets (instead receiving four 10 McNugget boxes). At least they gave me ample sauces.

These tubs rule, but boys, you're looking a little light on the sauces!

These tubs absolutely rule, but fellas, you’re looking a little light on the sauces!

6) A friend recently wrote that putting out her recycling lets her neighbours know that she’s a functional alcoholic. Here’s my own experience in that realm: I was shopping at my local liquor emporium, pushing a buggy (hey, I’m a serious consumer) between the aisles and picking up a number of items. When I reached the checkout, the kind cashier asked, “Having a party?” “Nope,” I bluntly replied.

A couple days later I was taking a massive load of recycling to the bins in my building when I ran into a neighbor in the elevator. After scanning the contents of my recycle box, he asked, “You have a party?” “Nope,” I once again replied. Moral of the story: What is with these nosey people!?

7) I have some issues with the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air opening theme… why does Will have to take a cab to the Banks’ residence? Couldn’t they have sent a driver? It’s not like he was an uninvited guest who travelled from the other side of the country in hopes of crashing with them.

Sadly (or awesomely), this is the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night.

Drink #95: Pond Water

Rim glass with Orange Fun Dip
1.5 oz Raspberry Vodka
Splash Blue Raspberry Mixer
Splash Sweet & Sour Mix
Top with Orange Crush

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I don’t remember pond water ever being bright orange, but who cares when it gives you the chance to enjoy Orange Soda. A particular highlight of this martini was the Orange Fun Dip rim I gave it, which made every sip a complete pleasure.

April 4 – Bakon Bloody Mary

Posted on April 4, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Bacon, Bacon, Bacon, BACON!

Sweet Jesus, I love bacon. In fact, I think pigs are one of the most delicious animals known to man. If they don’t top the list, they’re a close second behind the Dodo Bird.

I was raised on BLTs and my own creation, B&Ps (Bacon and Pickles), sandwiches. Bacon is a suitable ingredient in nearly every recipe. I throw bacon bits on my tacos, Caesar salads, French fries, pizza, pasta, ice cream, you name it.

Bacon enhances every food item I put it on. It’s a spectacular addition to burgers, even worth the additional charge you are given. And I never thought I could love potato chips more until I found flavours like Smokey Bacon and Sour Crème and Bacon. Then my world was truly complete.

I could wax on about cured meats forever, but largely due to an overdose of bacon, I’m letting some other experts do my work for me. So, my little sippers, here’s some Sip Advisor edutainment, which I hope you will enjoy as much as I did:

Drink #94: Bakon Bloody Mary

1.5 oz Bakon Vodka
Top with Tomato Juice
Dash of Worcestershire Sauce
Dash of Tabasco Sauce
Dash of Celery Salt and Pepper
1/2 tsp of Horseradish
Garnish with Spicy Green Bean and Bacon Strips

I’m happy to report that after all the cool things I’ve had bacon on or in (chocolate and mayonnaise included), I can finally say that I’ve found a way to meld it to my other passion, liquor. Much thanks need to be heaved upon Ma and Pa Sip for picking up a bottle of Bakon Vodka and letting me crack it open for the first taste!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
While I have to say that I prefer Caesars, this Bloody Mary wasn’t horrible. The Bakon Vodka is very interesting, smelling and tasting like the cured meat. While I was at it, I thought, “why not throw a slice of real bacon into the mix?” A decision I will never regret!

April 2 – Lady Luck

Posted on April 2, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Sex, Lies and Video Poker

I feel as if Lady Luck has always smiled down upon me. I can remember countless times that I’ve found money (and we’re not talking about nickels and dimes… the real shizzle) out and about: $5 outside a pub (after my drink had been bought for me, as well), or $20 as I waited in line to buy a wrestling action figure as a kid. You get the picture.

This brings me to my greatest night out gambling in Las Vegas. The action may seem tame and the winnings mild to many, but it was a wonderful rush for me.

We were in Sin City to celebrate Broski Sip’s 21st birthday. The trip had gone very well to that point, but Mrs. Sip had now departed the group since she had to get back home early for school stuff (I had so far failed to bring her up to my Fonzie-like cool status… which is probably why she earns so much more than me now). We grabbed some drinks and hit the Treasure Island casino floor to try our luck.

Growing up, I played a lot of video poker on a handheld device I was given one Christmas. I decided to try my hand at that, too intimidated to play Texas Hold’em, Blackjack or anything else with live people.

Might have had a chance taking some money from this friendly fella!

Putting in a whopping $5, I figured I’d play until I was wiped of my massive funds and then concentrate on something I do best: drinking!

Early on I fluctuated back and forth, never making any serious gains, but I wasn’t losing much either. Then I started hitting some big hands. Two four-of-a-kind draws materialized in the span of about 10 hands and before I knew it, I was up $40. Not bad for video poker and starting small. The winning continued and I was having a ball. Surely casino officials would soon be approaching me for enrollment in the High Rollers Club now that I’d surpassed $50 in winnings!

What I expected to last about 10 minutes (if I was lucky) was now entering a second hour of play. I decided to set a drop out limit and when I finally came back down to about $50, I cashed out and proudly coddled the strip of paper that announced my earnings. It would have been nice to be back in the old days of casinos and actually have a massive bucket of coins to embrace, but then video poker may not have existed (and Back to the Future tells us that I would not have been born, in that case).

At least I knew when to stop!

In need of a beverage top-up and not wanting to waste my precious windfall on grossly expensive casino cocktails, I made the trip back to my room, where we had a couple bottles of booze we needed to get through. En route, Lady Luck said, “Here’s one more little surprise… you’ve earned it!” and there, on the carpet in the hall was a crisp $20 bill, just lying there waiting for me. I looked around, and with the entire corridor empty, made the conclusion that nobody else deserved to claim this cash any more than me, so I snagged it and proclaimed, “This is the greatest night of my life!”

Drink #92: Lady Luck

1 oz Gin
1 oz Blue Curacao
Top with Orange Juice
Garnish with Orange Twist and Maraschino Cherry

This cocktail is sure to give you all the blessings you need to match my $50 record winnings. May Lady Luck look over you and all your loved ones as you join me in the High Roller Executive Club!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
My favourite detail about this cocktail is probably the garnish, with the Maraschino Cherry wrapped up by the Orange Twist. I wasn’t overwhelmed by the taste of the cocktail and it was a little thick thanks to the Orange Juice.

March 30 – Vegas Blowjob

Posted on March 30, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Entertain Me

Well, today we celebrate The Sip Legacy’s (that would be Mrs. Sip and I as a conglomerate) 11-year dating anniversary and it is purely coincidence that this shot was chosen for this momentous occasion. You think she’ll get the hint, fellas? *wink, wink*

This is the second year in a row that we’ve celebrated with a trip to Las Vegas. We love Sin City and we’re not even gamblers. I actually can’t remember the last time I put any money on the line during a stay here. Sure, it’s happened and I had one moderately successful night with video poker, but our main intention when coming to the city is to eat, drink, and be merry. To fulfill the merry portion of that mantra, we love going to shows along the strip. Here are some of our favourites:

Penn & Teller – Rio

These guys do it all, combining magic, comedy, drama, the whole shebang. When we attended this show, Mrs. Sip was wearing a low cut halter top and when the guys were looking for a volunteer for their knife act, I knew they’d pick her (despite her laughable efforts to look anywhere but at the guys). Sure enough they did and because of her participation we were able to get a front-of-the-line chance to meet with Penn and Teller after the show. Teller even spoke, which blew my mind, thanking Mrs. Sip and saying she did a great job!

Cirque du Soleil: Ka – MGM Grand

We are huge fans of the Cirque du Soleil shows in Vegas, as well as the ones that tour around the world. This martial arts-themed extravaganza, with its giant, rotating and moving stage, was completely mesmerizing particularly the climax of the show, where performers were running on giant spinning wheels and pulling off different tricks.

Cirque du Soleil: Love – Mirage

Keeping with the Cirque theme, what do you get when you take the amazing circus acts the troupe is known for and set the entire spectacle to the remarkable Beatles music catalogue? You have a surefire hit, that’s what. The soundtrack to this show is amazing, as are most Cirque soundtracks, but the reworking, mash-ups and brilliant original work of the group is particularly memorable.

Cirque du Soleil: O – Belagio

Let’s discuss one more Cirque show while we’re at it. I’m a born swimmer and I love seeing high dives and crazy feats performed in water. The Cirque folk put a lot of work into their stage design and it pays off for this performance, as the stage can turn into a pool in no time, allowing for the performers to go from dancers to divers seamlessly.

Carrot Top – Luxor

I love Carrot Top’s energy and his frantic style. At the show we attended, he even passed out shots of Crown Royal to some lucky audience members, which made me respect the guy even more. Unfortunately he couldn’t hear a drunk Sip Advisor yelling, “I’m from Canada… I love Crown!” He even made a good impression on Mrs. Sip, who was hesitant at first to make this our show for the trip.

There are other shows I would recommend, including Lion King (Mandalay Bay), and Jersey Boys (Planet Hollywood, although we saw it on tour in Vancouver). If they still were being performed on the strip, I’d also endorse Cirque du Soleil: Viva Elvis (Aria) and comedian Frank Caliendo (Monte Carlo).

After numerous trips to the city together, there’s still so much more we would like to see: Cirque du Soleil: Zumanity at New York, New York, Louie Anderson at The Excalibur, The Blue Man Group at Monte Carlo, and the list continues to grow with each visit.

Drink #89: Vegas Blowjob

0.3 oz Banana Liqueur
0.3 oz Spiced Rum
0.3 oz Jagermeister
0.3 oz Orange Juice
0.3 oz Pineapple Juice
Garnish with a Condom

Here at Sip Adivsor Headquarters, we endorse safe sex. Just make sure you don’t accidentally ingest the rubber!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Where to begin with this shot! We added the condom garnish for a little humour, but I think it really completed the drink’s appearance. Plus, it was banana-flavoured, so it actually added a little essence to the shooter.

March 29 – Poker Face

Posted on March 29, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

A Day in the Life

I wouldn’t call myself a Sin City expert, but I know a number of good places that are must-hits when visiting. If you follow my layout for a day out and about along the Las Vegas strip, it will be very difficult for you to keep your poker face (P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face). I dare you to try and keep up with the ol’ Sip Advisor.

Pool Time

I have very little need for breakfast… unless it is of the liquid variety. After sleeping in, Mrs. Sip and I usually meander our way to the hotel pool, where the first order of business is to order a bucket of beers, before relaxing in the sun for a couple hours. No need to rush around yet, we have tons of time left on the clock.

I guess my invite got lost in the mail…

PBR Rock Bar – Planet Hollywood/Miracle Mile

It’s time to show off that tan you’ve been working on all morning, as you hit the street in search of strippers and blow… or in our case, pulled pork and Dorito-crusted mac n’ cheese! The servings here are massive, so it might be beneficial to split a meal or a couple appies. That way you can pig out throughout the day and not gorge yourself on one entrée. The best part of this location is you can sit on the patio and you can even sit on their patio area where you can people watch the zoo known as Las Vegas Boulevard!

Hyde Lounge – The Bellagio

With your tummy nice and full we venture across the street for some libations. The beauty of this joint (aside from the servers’ skimpy outfits) is that you can watch the wondrous Bellagio fountains against the back-drop of the Paris, while sucking back your bevvy! Like much of the strip, drinks can be a little pricey here, but it’s worth the splurging for the total experience.

Mon Ami Gabi – The Paris

While there are practically hundreds of dinner possibilities on and off the strip, it’s okay every once in a while to treat yourself to something on the fancy end of the spectrum. Get dressed up, enjoy some wine and lobster, and appreciate good company at this fine establishment. It also has killer sea scallops gratinées dish I fully recommend trying. If you’re lucky (or wait long enough) this restaurant also has a great patio for another round of people watching with the Bellagion fountains in the background.

Entertainment of Your Choice – Anywhere

It’s showtime! There are way too many options to choose from in Las Vegas. Whether you’re looking for comedy, magic, singing and dancing, or awe inspiring circus acts, the city has all the bases covered. Regardless of your budget, you can find a show that fits. There’s even a ton of stuff you can see all around the place that is free to all visitors, such as the Mirage Volcano, Fall of Atlantis (Caesar’s Palace), Show in the Sky (Rio), The Sirens (Treasure Island), Fremont Street Experience, and the previously mentioned Bellagio Fountains.

The Pub – Monte Carlo

Dueling pianos, plus $2 beers and shots of Jameson… you had me at hello. You never greeted me? Don’t really care, I’ll have two beers and two shots and for the missus, a stirring round of ‘Summer of 69’ by Bryan Adams (I like to enlist sexually suggestive songs to help me in wooing Mrs. Sip!). This place is always jamming and finding seating is not very difficult.

Sugar Factory – The Paris

It’s 2am and you have liquor to blame for your chocolate craving. So, you head over to the Sugar Factory, where the art of dessert has never been so exquisite. Share a gourmet fondue or sweet pizza with your loved one. They have regular food, too, in case you’re looking to satisfy your “fourth-meal” requirement. And if you want to keep your buzz up, why not try one of their signature goblets, martinis or cocktails… that will do the trick.

Well, it might be time for bed now… if not, you’re welcome to hit any one of the 24-hour buffets, food courts or a late night lounge. But guess what! Providing that you’re not going home that day, you get to do the whole nine yards (literally, if you buy nine yard-long drinks) again tomorrow!

Drink #88: Poker Face

1.5 oz Captain Morgan Spiced Rum
Top with half Pineapple Juice and half Cranberry Juice
0.5 oz Grand Marnier floated on top
Garnish with a Pineapple Wedge

This is basically – with a tweak or two – the outline of my and Mrs. Sip’s 10-year dating anniversary in 2012. What adventure will we get up to this time around? Surely it will be the subject of a future blog post, so look out for that!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This drink turned an interesting colour when all the ingredients came together. I’m so dedicated to garnishing drinks nicely that I took an expired can of Pineapple Wedges, just to use one for the photo. The taste was good, especially with the Grand Marnier floated at the surface.

March 27 – Loopberry Splash

Posted on March 27, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

You Will Get Wet

I usually try to theme each day’s post in relation to the featured drink. Today’s subject may be a bit of a stretch, but given the word “loop” and “splash” are there, I wanted to discuss my favourite amusement park rides from around the world. So, let’s secure our personal belongings in the seat front pouch and hold on for dear life!

Crush’s Coaster – Disneyland: Paris

When you combine a kid’s movie with a turbulent rollercoaster, you satisfy all of my needs! This attraction takes guests through the East Australian Current, riding on Crush the surfing turtle’s shell. What starts out as a normal coaster turns (literally) into a very memorable one, when your vehicle begins spinning with the gravity and speed created by the ride track, at one point going into a dark room that gives space mountain a run for its money. Mrs. Sip and I are continually surprised the ride hasn’t been picked up by any of the other Disney parks.

The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man – Universal Studios: Islands of Adventure

This is one of those classic 3-D movie attractions, but with the twist that you move from scene-to-scene in your ride vehicle. You speed, web sling, and plunge through the streets of New York, watching Spidey battle the Sinister Syndicate. Spider-Man rules, so this attraction gets bonus points on that fact alone.

Riddler’s Revenge – Six Flags

I’m not sure why so many attractions are trying to gain revenge on their riders (Montezuma’s Revenge also comes to mind), but this stand-up coaster is a wonderful salute to the Batman franchise and the insanity of Edward Nigma. Highlights of the actions include the pumping techno soundtrack and the vertical loops that wraps around the launch lift.

Jurassic Park – Universal Studios: Hollywood

I never really got the obsession with Jurassic Park until I rode this water ride. Everything starts off all nice and normal as you take a relaxing trip through pens belonging to many herbivore dinos. That all takes a drastic twist when your boat goes off course and you enter raptor cages, with the looming threat of an accidentally released T-Rex. Before you know it, the only route to safety is a dramatic plunge into the cold waters below.

The Four Mountains – Disney Parks

Splash Mountain, Space Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain, and Matterhorn Mountain are some of the original amazing E-ticket attractions to exist and are must hit rides for any visit to the Disney Parks that house them. Without these tracks, so many other advancements in theme park technology would not have been possible.

Ghost Rider – Knott’s Berry Farm

When they warn you not to go on rides if you have back or neck problems, they were probably thinking of this attraction. It’s a classic wooden rollercoaster that spans the parks and even crosses over into the parking lot. The wildest part about it is that you’re constantly ducking your head, thinking that it’s going to get sliced off by the beams above.

Toy Story Mania – Disneyland: California Adventure

The rapid advancements in ride technology are amazing. This attraction brings out the competitive spirit in riders as you compete with your mate and all other guests, in fact, to record the highest score possible. Throw on some 3-D glasses, and shoot at as many targets as possible on the screen in front of you before moving on to the next Midway challenge. Each ride experience is different, providing you don’t mind waiting 40 minutes to an hour in line for this popular attraction!

Valhalla – Blackpool Pleasure Beach

I refuse to buy ponchos for water rides… that totally defeats the purpose. But in this case, as we watched ride attendants vacuum water out of each boat that arrived at the loading zone, we were happy we’d taken the advice to grab a couple. I’ve never been so drenched, in my life… even with the damn poncho. Had it not been a dreary English spring day, we would have rode the ride – which featured a ton of special effects, as well as going backwards in a log flume – again, but as it was, we were already chilled to the bone.

Hollywood Rip, Ride, Rockit – Universal Studios: Florida

Rides that have their own soundtrack are amazing… but how about a ride where you get to pick the song of your choice, which is perfectly edited for the duration of the track. You can pick from rock, rap, country, dance and just about everything else. There are even hidden songs that you can access. That will keep the guests coming back for more, looking for the perfect jam to their experience.

Drink #86: Loopberry Splash

1.5 oz Three Olives Loopy Vodka
Top with half Cranberry Juice and half Ginger Ale
Garnish with Lemon Wedge

While there are many theme parks we have yet to visit, this is a list of some of our favourites thus far. Sadly, I had to leave so many rides I love with all my being off this list. Hopefully I can squeeze them into a future post.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
The final drink in my trilogy of Loopy Vodka recipes was pretty decent. The mix of half Cranberry Juice and half Ginger Ale was good and worked well with the spirit. I should have done more with the garnish, but I guess I got a little lazy.

March 26 – The Crush

Posted on March 26, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Sir Mix-A-Lot

I like to think of myself as an equal opportunity mixer and that is why I love playing with ingredients that don’t often get placed into cocktail recipes. Here are some of my favourites to work with and some I have yet to try, but am itching to crack open!:

Root Beer

My first favourite pop when I was a wee lad, I still enjoy root beer and now I can take that love to a whole ‘nutha level with my cocktail mixing. Root beer adds a different flavour to recipes, compared to other dark pops. The hint of vanilla can be a very nice touch and add a twist to any number of drinks. Barq’s, A&W, Mug… it don’t matter which one you’re using. They’re all good around these parts; just make sure to practice safe mixing.

Apple-Lime Juice

This has got to be one of my favourite grocery store finds in recent years. Every single drink I make with this juice turns out amazing. This all coming from a guy who used to be completely friends-off with apple juice after medicine I was once given to knock me out looked like apple juice, smelled like apple juice, but brother, it wasn’t apple juice. That reminds me, I need to grab another carton of this elixir!

Cream Soda

Imagine my surprise when I bought a can of Fanta cream soda recently and it came out clear. Thinking that my vision had finally quit on me after years of television and computer screens (plus the aforementioned drinking problem), I checked with Mrs. Sip to see if this was actually the case. I had expected the usual pink colour that accompanies cream soda, but this new clear look can be a good thing. It means that there is an option if you want the flavour, but not the colour. So, be careful if you want to make a pink-coloured drink to get cream soda that is actually dyed this hue.

My boys Ernie and Bert enjoy a cream soda… this could have been a telling sign, if you catch my drift…

Orange Crush

I’m shocked that orange-flavoured sodas don’t get used in more drinks. By comparison, one bartending website has 86 recipes for orange soda (and very few that actually interested this Sip Advisor), while there are a whopping 2,360 concoctions featuring orange juice. Today’s drink is an original recipe, which I hope you’ll all enjoy… I know I did.

Watermelon Juice

I have a can of Arizona watermelon juice that I’m just dying to experiment with. I love watermelon and cry on a daily basis when it’s out of season as I go through watermelon withdrawal. Sure you can still get your hands on the juicy fruit (not the gum), but you’ll probably pay an arm and a leg for it and good luck making drinks hopping around the bar with one hand to hold the shaker. What will I make with this juice… stay tuned to find out!

Drink #85: The Crush (An Original Sip Advisor Recipe)

1.5 oz Wiser’s Spiced Whiskey
0.5 oz Peach Schnapps
Top with Orange Crush (or other Orange Soda)
Garnish with Orange Slice

Perhaps we should hold a reader vote to find out which rare mixer I use next… I welcome your comments, although I’ll likely just go ahead and pick a winner on my own volition!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
Using Orange Crush for cocktails has rekindled my love for this type of soda. Here, it tasted well with the Peach Schnapps and Spiced Whiskey and I’m glad I thought of combining the three ingredients. Definitely one for fans of the hue.

March 25 – Babbling Brook

Posted on March 25, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Sweet Serenity

Today’s drink had me turn my mind towards serenity. For me, total relaxation can be best achieved with a cocktail in hand, laying on a pool float, the sun beaming down upon me, and the sounds of rock n’ roll filling the air. If the pool was surrounded by naked ladies, well, that would be nirvana. I’ll settle for serenity, though.

Yeah, this is pretty close!

Sure there are other methods to achieving peace within oneself. For example, those CD’s (can you remember compact discs!? They’re only about $5 each in stores nowadays… at least they can double for cheap Frisbees) filled with relaxing, tranquil sounds: ocean waves, babbling brooks, gentle rain, sounds of nature, etc.

Then there’s meditation and yoga. I get that yoga can be a good stretching tool and can help with relaxation, but anyone who thinks yoga is exercise is probably a yoga instructor or form of yoga. I did yoga once and was pretty bored. Perhaps it’s because I hadn’t started drinking yet. I was also waiting for someone to let a fart slip out and when nobody did, the comedy element to the whole thing was missing. Don’t even get me started on hot yoga. If I wanted to sweat, I’d eat a pile of meat and go for a jog. Man that would smell gross.

Speaking of jogging, going for a nice long walk can often clear the mind. This is about half true in my neighbourhood, where you always have to be on a vigil lookout for dog poop, homeless people, idiot’s texting and walking, idiot’s texting and driving, and so many other pedestrian obstacles. Maybe if you live out in the burbs this will work better, but not so much for us city folk.

Mrs. Sip likes to read to relax. She says it allows her to escape into a fantasy world, to which I often reply (with very little success) that I have a few fantasies that we could venture into together. She just doesn’t understand that guys have needs like someone baking chocolate chip cookies for them while they watch Saturday morning cartoons and take frequent cat naps.

I wish this was part of Mrs. Sip’s fantasy collection…

Personally, I think we have to look to our pets for good relaxation techniques. Cats sleep like 30 hours each day. When they’re not passed out, taking up half the couch, despite their tiny frames, they’re usually snuggling up to someone and trying to get a good spot for their next snooze. And we think we’re their master…

In closing, use whatever you think works for you: a cup of hot tea, a trip to the spa, a quiet night in, a bubble bath (the Sip Advisor looks really good all sudsy)… you get the drift. Namaste!

Drink #84: Babbling Brook

1.5 oz Raspberry Vodka (I used Absolut)
0.5 oz Blue Curacao
Top with Sour Mix
Garnish with a Lemon Wedge

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I liked this cocktail with its sweet and sour taste. The colour of the drink was really neat and I enjoyed the foamy effect produced when shaking the mix.

March 24 – Red Alert

Posted on March 24, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Border Jumpers

About 75% of the Canadian population lives along the Canada-U.S. border. This is a tease for these Canadians, as the United States gets products that just can’t be found up here and what you CAN find in both countries usually comes in at a much lower price point south of the border.

For example, Cherry Dr. Pepper, used in today’s bevvy, has been available in the U.S. for a couple years now. In Canada, it is still advertised as a new product, having just hit store shelves in 2012. Cherry Coke, despite existing for decades has never popped across the border to say hi and same goes for Vanilla Coke (previously available in Canada), Mello Yellow, and unique spin-off flavours of Fanta, Mountain Dew, Snapple, etc.

If Gene Simmons is okay with it, why did Canada take so long?

If Gene Simmons is okay with Cherry Dr. Pepper, why did Canada take so long?

Pop (or soda as the Yanks prefer to call it) isn’t the only thing us Canadians have to chase down on trips to the States. There are a number of chocolate bars that can’t be picked up at the local Canadian convenient store. Pay Days (a Sip Advisor favourite), Coconut M&Ms, Butterfingers, and Heath Bars, form the bulk of this list. Although we do try to make up for Butterfingers by substituting Crispy Crunch and Heath by having Skor. And apparently, up north, we do have the market cornered on Coffee Crisp, Smarties, and Aero (all Nestle products)… even Kinder Surprise (eff the chocolate, I love getting little toys!). And I’ll never figure out why it’s two Reese Peanut Butter Cups in each American package and three in Canada… but I’m not complaining.

Recently I compiled a couple blogs about cereals and their slogans. For example, don’t bother looking for Trix in Canada… although perhaps the Trix Rabbit should take refuge in this country to avoid all the loser kids rubbing it in his face that the breakfast is not meant for him. I’m surprised the poor guy hasn’t gone on a breakfast-stealing rampage through an elementary school. Similarly, Apple Jacks cereal was once sold in Canada, but no longer share store shelf space. Cookie Crisp was apparently banned in Canada, which really pisses me off. How can a country ban Cookie Crisp, when its most famous culinary dish is the curd- and gravy-heavy poutine?

Books, dairy (particularly cheese), meat, fruits and vegetables, cigarettes, gas, tires, and most junk food top the list of items that are way cheaper in the U.S. than Canada. Here are some other cross border notes:

Seagram’s Gin, despite once being a Canadian-owned company, is no longer sold in Canada
Canadian Netflix sucks compared to the U.S. version, causing many subscribers to manipulate their systems allowing access to the American subscription
Hulu and other TV and movie streaming services will not work in Canada, where we are told they are not available in our region… despite us sharing the same region as the U.S.
Stores you can’t find in Canada: Barnes & Nobles, Trader Joes, Victoria’s Secret, Macy’s, and Nordstrom’s (although rumour has it that at least one Nordstrom’s is crossing the border to downtown Vancouver and apparently the International terminal of Vancouver airport now hosts a Vicky’s)
Restaurants exclusively serving the U.S.: White Castle, Cheesecake Factory, In-N-Out Burgers, Carl’s Jr., Jack in the Box

Yowza, we really need Victoria Secret in Canada!

Perhaps some of these items will finally be available in Canada with Target stores coming to the Great White North, but if not, I have no issues taking a trip down to the States to load up on Pay Days, Cookie Crisp, Victoria’s Secret lingerie (for Mrs. Sip, of course) and a meal or two at Jack in the Box.

At least we have Tim Horton’s, White Spot (in Western Canada), Ketchup Chips, Kraft Dinner, Swiss Chalet, and Hickory Sticks. I don’t really see Americans coming to our fair country for any of these items (although they should, especially for the White Spot Legendary Burger, Mmmmmm). Americans will probably just order most of these items online and have them shipped for free, while us suckers in Canada always have to pay extreme taxes and fees for the same service.

Drink #83: Red Alert

1.5 oz Whiskey (I used Crown Royal)
Top with half Orange Juice and half Cherry Dr. Pepper

To my Canadian brethren, I ask, what do you like to grab on trips to the States? To my friends from the south, is there anything you like in Canada that you can’t get from home? Do you even travel to our little country? Hit me back!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I’m a big fan of the Cherry Dr. Pepper pop and it probably saved this cocktail It was neat to see the Orange Juice and Dr. Pepper mix together and luckily we were able to snap some good quick photos of the effect.

March 23 – Windshield Wiper Fluid

Posted on March 23, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Gross Income

Having the opportunity to travel and live abroad has also brought opportunities to try new, weird, and different flavours. After you read this list, you will question the fact that I was a picky eater when I was younger. Over the years, my tastes have expanded and my willingness to try seemingly anything has skyrocketed. I blame the constant liquorization of my body, mind and spirit, but other theories do persist. Without further ado, here are the oddest things I’ve personally eaten.

Escargot

In France, our tour group was offered this French delicacy and this was at a time when my tastes were just evolving. It probably didn’t help that the snails were simply served on a bed of green leaves and looked like someone had just picked them out of the garden. As Mrs. Sip and I approached the serving tray, there was only one more shelled snail available. I was elected to try the hors d’oeuvre and while Mrs. Sip snapped pictures of my eating experience, I learned that escargot actually tastes pretty good… with a nice garlic butter sauce, of course, to mask the whole slimy snail bit.

Frog Legs

This was a menu item on one of the first cruises Mrs. Sip and I took and the server was kind enough to put in an order for us to share, on top of our other appetizer selections. These weren’t bad, although I can’t remember what kind of sauce they were done in and there wasn’t much meat to them. Sometimes the “tastes like chicken” expression actually holds true. The only problem is the legs looked like… well like long, dead frog legs. Still, it was fun to give them a whirl and cross it off the “foods you have to try” list.

Cheese

Okay so I hear you wondering, how is cheese classified as odd? Well I hate cheese. Just downright detest it. I don’t mind it in most melted situations like on pizza, nachos, and grilled cheese sandwiches, but even then, I prefer a mild form, like mozzarella. In recent years, I’ve tried to buck this childhood trend and try some more adventurous options. Some have been okay, while others not so much. Smoked Gouda on a sandwich went well, as did feta on Greek salads. Bleu cheese on a pizza however, while eaten, was not enjoyed.

GUILTY!!!

Fried Rattlesnake

I’m deathly afraid of snakes, but when I was younger, only seven years old, I mustered the courage to try fried rattlesnake when my family was travelling throughout the old west. This was another one of those “it tastes like chicken” cases and we were even given some dried rattlesnake bone, along with a certificate saying we tried the delicacy, as keepsakes.

Oysters

While I’ve had many of these in recent years and some have been tasty, I still don’t get the whole buzz around them. You swallow whole, a slimy lump of indeterminate origin, which you’ve packed various flavours onto to mask the actual taste, and this is supposed to be an aphrodisiac? Quite frankly it sounds very similar to the end result of most dirty movies to me. Why are most girls okay with oysters, but not the other thing… you know what I’m getting at.

Drink #82: Windshield Wiper Fluid

Rim glass with Sour Apple Pop Rocks
0.75 oz Blue Curacao
0.75 oz Sour Puss Apple

So, I bet you’re asking what The Sip Advisor still won’t eat. Well, I still largely avoid cheese in most situations and I think yogurt is disgusting. Sadly, Mrs. Sip’s diet largely consists of dairy and so we don’t see eye to eye on a number of these items. I’m more awesome than her though (as if it still needs to be written), so my say goes (or so I like to tell myself).

Would I ever actually drink windshield wiper fluid? My head says no, but my heart says give it a shot (poison warnings be damned)!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
A light and very tasty shooter. Blue Curacao and Sour Puss Apple have contrasting tastes that mix well. The Sour Apple Pop Rocks were a fun addition to the recipe.

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

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