October 3 – Falling Star

Star Stunted

For the month of October, we will be looking at all things scary and perhaps nothing is more chilling than having to watch a movie starring one of these “actors”. Without further ado, here are some of the worst movie stars in the history of cinema:

#5: Madonna

I have never been much of a Madonna fan, so I’m even more perplexed when she’s been able to venture outside of music (what brought her to the dance) and into other artistic realms. The ‘Queen of Pop’ has done some good with films such as Evita and I did like Madge in A League of Their Own, but a collection of poor performances in movies like Shanghai Surprise, The Next Best Thing, and Swept Away reminds us of where she truly belongs. When you can’t even successfully act alongside your husbands (Sean Penn and later Guy Ritchie), then who can you work with.

Madonna Vogue

#4: Pauly Shore

How Pauly Shore’s brand of comedy was ever popular is one of life’s greatest unsolved mysteries. Granted, I would consider his movies Encino Man and, to a lesser degree, Son in Law, classics of my childhood. Shore eventually wore out his welcome though, with dismal films like In the Army Now, Jury Duty, and Bio-Dome. I guess there’s only so many times you can hear “Hey, buuuuuuddddyyyy,” before it loses all meaning. Shore’s fall from fame was quick, leading to a 2003 mockumentary called Pauly Shore is Dead, which sees the comedian fake his own death to make his movies more popular.

#3: Hulk Hogan

Most professional wrestlers, despite the nature of their business, are horrible actors. And yet somehow, the mustachioed Hulk Hogan has a laundry list of filmography credits, including some of the worst movies of all-time in Suburban Commando, Mr. Nanny, and Santa with Muscles. The popularity of Hulkamania (prior to racist rants) allowed Hogan to branch into the movie industry, but he should have stuck with the squared circle. Sure, things all got started off okay with Hogan’s small role as Thunderlips in Rocky III, but they quickly went off the rails following that appearance.

Hogan as Zeus

#2: Tom Green

While the Canadian comedian has been good in a couple movies (Road Trip, for example), as more of an ensemble character, than a lead, some of his work has been absolutely atrocious. Particularly films such as Freddy Got Fingered (one of the worst movie titles ever, for starters) and Stealing Harvard. Like Pauly Shore, Green was launched into orbit by MTV, prior to crash landing, but his fame was so high at one point that he was picked for Saturday Night Live hosting duties. This may have been largely due to his marriage to Drew Barrymore, but who can really tell.

#1: Shaquille O’Neal

When you receive a Razzie Award for basically depicting yourself, are other acting opportunities necessary? Shaquille O’Neal couldn’t even pass mustard in the basketball flick Blue Chips and yet still received starring roles in Kazaam and Steel, both of which were universally panned by critics and audiences, alike. Shaq has recently made minor appearances in a number of Adam Sandler films, and that’s where he’s best suited if wants to continue acting. It’s not often that one person can lay claim to being in some of the worst movies of all-time, as well as a video game (Shaq Fu) and musical releases (a number of rap CDs).

Super Saturday Shot Day: Falling Star

  • 1 oz Sambuca
  • Float Whiskey on Top

Honourable mentions go to artists like Britney Spears, Mariah Carey, and Kelly Clarkson, who only avoid making the main list because they knew well enough to get out of the movie industry after one horrible outing. Sadly, we can’t say the same for action hero Steven Seagal…

Flavour Revolution – Cranberry

Thanks to Give

Cranberries play a large role in Thanksgiving feasts across Canada and the United States. In fact, 20% of the total annual harvest of the berries goes towards cranberry sauce for Thanksgiving. This tradition may date back to Algonquian tribes sharing the berries with English settlers who were desperately hungry after their voyage to the ‘New World’. Thus, the earliest Thanksgiving meals incorporated the fruit. Here are some other Thanksgiving facts:

TV dinners came into existence thanks to a colossal mistake by the Swanson food company. With 26 tons of extra turkey meat, following Thanksgiving 1953, it was decided to cut up the birds, add some sides and sell a miniaturized version of the traditional turkey dinner.

Ron Swanson Dinner

The busiest day of the year for plumbing services in the U.S. is Black Friday – otherwise known as the day after Thanksgiving. This is due to many systems being overwhelmed the night before. I don’t know what they’re serving across the border, but I can confirm that none of my Turkey Day feasts have resulted in a destroyed toilet or pipes.

There are a number of locations throughout the United States that owe their namesake to Thanksgiving. This includes Turkey Creek in Louisiana; Turkey Creek in Arizona; Turkey, Texas; Turkey, North Carolina; and Upper and Lower Turkeyfoot in Pennsylvania.

The same woman responsible for the nursery rhyme ‘Mary Had a Little Lamb’ can also be credited with Thanksgiving becoming a national holiday in the U.S. Sarah Josepha Hale worked tirelessly for 40 years to have Thanksgiving put on a similar pedestal as the Fourth of July. Finally, in 1863, president Abraham Lincoln declared that the final Thursday of November would be a day of giving thanks, while the U.S. Congress made it all official in 1941.

Abraham Lincoln Beard

The Canadian version of the event dates back to 1578, when English explorer, Sir Martin Frobisher, celebrated his successful journey to discover the Northwest Passage. Thanksgiving was used again 1872, occurring on April 15 to commemorate the Prince of Wales recovery from illness. The national holiday came into existence in 1879, originally held on November 6, before being moved to the second Monday of October, each year.

Often served as part of Thanksgiving dessert, the largest pumpkin pie ever weighed 2,020 pounds and was more than 12 feet long. The creation used 900 pounds of pumpkin and 250 pounds of crust (the best part of the pie!). That sounds like a mass genocide of Jack-O-Lanterns!

Other highlights of the American Thanksgiving period include the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade, which originated in 1924 and the annual Detroit Lions NFL matchup. The Lions have played on Thanksgiving Day every year (except during World War II) since 1934. That tradition beginner produced the first nationally broadcast football contest and 20 years later, in 1956, the first TV broadcast of the Thanksgiving game took place.

Flavour Revolution: Cranberry Crusher

  • 1 oz Cranberry Liqueur
  • 1 oz Vodka
  • Top with Grapefruit Soda
  • Garnish with Cranberries

Some of you little sippers reading this article might be thinking that its posting date is peculiar. Well, while our neighbours to the south celebrate Thanksgiving in late November, us Canadians party much earlier (and harder!) in mid-October. That said, I do envy the American’s four-day weekend version!

September 26 – Capital Punishment

Special Scribes

As we continue to celebrate the gloriousness that is the Sip Advisor (with my recent birthday and all), today we will look at the greatest writers out there in the land of fiction. Write-on my brothers and sisters!

#5: Jack Torrance – The Shining

It seemed like a good idea for writer Jack Torrance to take a job as a caretaker, looking after the massive Overlook Hotel estate in the Colorado mountains over the winter off-season… especially when he could use the solitude to get down to work. Only problem is the silence and seclusion turned an already damaged man into a complete psychopath, set on hunting down his own wife and son. Remember, “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy!”

jack torrance

#4: Brian Griffin – Family Guy

This often pretentious dog considers himself a future legendary scribe, except for the fact that for the longest time, he only talked about writing the great American novel, never sitting down to actually pen it. When he finally does, Faster Than the Speed of Love, is shredded by critics. His follow-up self-help title Wish It, Want It, Do It becomes a best seller, but the fame and fortune for Brian is fleeting, as he lets it all go to his head and alienates those that love him.

#3: Paul Sheldon – Misery

I would never expect my work to get me into trouble (unless I give a liquor company a bad review and they boycott serving me!), but that’s exactly what happens to Paul Sheldon, after he decides to end his popular series of romance novels. He just so happens to also be in the custody of his ‘number one fan’ Annie Wilkes, when this conclusion is published and that leads to a whirlwind of pain, instead of being nursed back to health by the former medical professional.

misery hammer

#2: Jessica Fletcher – Murder, She Wrote

It’s pretty easy to get ideas for your best-selling mystery novels when real-life murders seem to follow you around like you’re death personified. Jessica Fletcher may reside in the sleepy, rural town of Cabot Cove (where there’s an out-of-proportion murder rate), but thanks to her success as an author, she often travels the world and… you guessed it, comes across even more brutality. At least she’s always able to solve the crime, outwitting bumbling police officers everywhere.

#1: Dr. Watson – Sherlock Holmes

Along with being a sidekick and companion, Dr. John Watson also took it upon himself to record the extensive case files of Sherlock Holmes. As a fan of a good mystery, I wonder where we would be without the writings of Dr. Watson (who was originally to be named ‘Ormond Sacker’). Dr. Watson becomes a biographer of sorts for Holmes, largely because he can’t stand others taking and receiving credit for the solving of high-profile crimes.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Capital Punishment

  • Rim glass with Crushed Nuts
  • 0.5 oz Bourbon
  • 0.5 oz Amaretto

Some honourable mentions go to poets Mikey Blumberg (Recess) and Diane Chambers (Cheers), journalists Paul Hennessy (8 Simple Rules) and Ray Barone (Everybody Loves Raymond), crime novelist Richard Castle (Castle), columnist Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City), and TV writer Rob Petrie (Dick Van Dyke Show). May the words flow freely from your minds!

Flavour Revolution – Chocolate

Running on Empty

Not to send anyone into a panic, but there are those out there (you know, scientific folks) who say that we are running short on chocolate. This is because of the costs involved and the commitment (up to five years) to grow cocoa beans. This may lead the treat to become quite costly in the future, which is why the Sip Advisor is downing chocolate bars like there’s no tomorrow… because there might not be. Here are some other commodities that are rapidly disappearing and may eventually cease to exist:

Wine

While there seems to be new wineries opening every day, across the globe, and demand for wine has increased greatly, production of the drink has fallen by 5%. Many smaller outlets just won’t be able to keep making whites and reds and people’s thirst for wine just won’t be satisfied. There are some that think the issue is more of an “Old World” wine problem and that “New World” countries such as the U.S., Australia, Argentina, Chile, South Africa, and New Zealand will close that gap.

wine-is-like-ductape

Tequila

Sticking with alcohols, fans of margaritas and general shot craziness should be concerned. Blue agave, the plant that is used to create tequila takes 12 years to reach maturity and worse, in 2007, disease struck Mexico’s agave crops, causing 20% to be destroyed. While there is a current stockpile of tequila, prices will certainly rise and with many farmers switching over to growing corn instead, who knows what the future holds for the taco and burrito accompaniment.

Coffee

While I’m not a coffee fan (in fact, I’m a member of the anti-coffee lobby), I can only imagine the horrors of a world where those that drink copious amounts of coffee each day just to function, don’t have access to their fix. We’re talking zombie apocalypse here, people! The issue stems from droughts, high temperatures, and diseases which have affected coffee bean crops. Much, if not all of Arabica beans could disappear by 2080, if these trends continue as predicted.

coffee-crack

Bacon

I may not care about coffee, but I certainly have a crispy spot in my heart for bacon. The salty pork product is a splendid addition to everything from sandwiches to salads and even works as a vodka flavour. Sadly, this king of all meats is seeing decreased production thanks to farmer’s cutting costs, a 2012 drought across the Midwest United States, and a little something called the Porcine Epidemic Diarrhea Virus. A worldwide shortage looms on the horizon and that is a world I don’t want to live in!

Water

When not drinking beer, wine, or a cocktail, the Sip Advisor can routinely be found with a glass of water nearby. I love the clear stuff and I think we can all agree that it’s pretty important to the survival of the world. As for the problem, I’ll put it this way: we don’t have enough water to turn it into wine and take care of that other item that is diminishing. The scary stat of the day is that by 2025, it’s estimated that two-thirds of the world may be forced to live with little to no water.

Flavour Revolution: Revolve

We have also exhausted the world’s gold supply, but that really only concerns Scrooge McDuck and his money bin swims. Over the years, the Sip Advisor has written a lot about chocolate, so finding the right subject for the Flavour Revolution project was a tough decision. I hope you enjoyed the article and didn’t scare you too much about the future.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (??? Sips out of 5):
For those curious, I found some good Chocolate Whiskey recipes at the Bird Dog Whiskey website

September 19 – Birthday Cake

Best of 1983

As the Sip Advisor prepares to celebrate another birthday, I thought it would be a good idea to look back at the best of my birth year: 1983. It was a wonderful year… or so I’m told. Of course, the greatest moment of the year was the birth of yours truly, but I’m sure some other events could be defined as momentous. Let’s take a look back in history!

#5: Sony Camcorder

Just think of where amateur pornography would be without the advent of camcorders… scary thought, no? In all seriousness, this put the power to better record the greatest moments of our lives, in the hands of consumers. Despite this, the Sip Family didn’t finally jump on the video camera wagon until 2001. I’m not sure exactly why things happened like that, but that’s the story and we’re sticking to it.

Camcorder Tape

#4: Plinko on The Price is Right

As a lifelong Price is Right fan, I’m honoured to learn that one of my favourite games on the show, Plinko, was first unleashed on the world in 1983. This game of chance sees contestants drop a disc, from high above, down a board with pegs that cause the disc to bounce around. At the bottom, are a number of slots, with varying money amounts. When all the contestant’s discs have been used, they are awarded whatever the Plinko gods have blessed them with.

#3: Chicken McNugget

Mrs. Sip’s first favourite food as a youngster was all possible thanks to the product’s introduction in 1983. Folks, we’re through the looking glass here and talking about the McDonald’s Chicken McNugget. While I don’t order them as much as I did when I was younger, the Chicken McNugget is still placed before a hungry Sip Advisor from time to time. Of course, the McNuggetini wouldn’t be possible without these delicious chicken chunks!

10 McNuggets

#2: Video Games

What would eventually be released in North America in 1985 as the Nintendo Entertainment System, first hit shelves in Japan in 1983, as the Famicom, or Family Computer. Along with the home console, the game Mario Bros. debuted, including the first appearances of Luigi and the Koopa Troopers. While there was some good in the video game world in 1983, the year was also host to an industry crash, which took years to recover from.

#1: Technology

1983 brought forth one of the greatest inventions in the history of the world. In fact, every person reading this right now is using this creation. We’re talking about the freakin’ internet! Other technological advancements to hit the world in my birth year included the first cell phone call and the release of Microsoft Word, which has been a beacon of enjoyment and employment for the Sip Advisor.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Birthday Cake

  • 0.5 oz Citron Vodka
  • 0.5 oz Frangelico
  • Garnish with a Lemon Wedge

Of course, there are some things 1983 brought us that we didn’t really need. Sweet Valley High books, for one… minivans would be another. Neither compares, though, to crack cocaine and the El Niño weather pattern!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (??? Sips out of 5):
xxxx

Sip Trips #37: Home Stretch

You would think that with a big trip approaching for Mrs. Sip and myself that this week would be calm on the drinking front and more focused on last-minute errands and packing. But you don’t know Mrs. Sip and I. No, instead, we tried to balance both ideas, visiting with friends and family and celebrating a couple birthdays along the way.

The week began with a trip to Bin 941, which specializes in shared “tapatizers”. Cousin Sip had grabbed a Groupon for the meal, which included eight beers or two bottles of wine, with the selection of six different appetizers. We decided to go the beer route and I picked one round of Mad & Noisy IPA, followed by Granville Island ISA. I’d never heard of Mad & Noisy before, but apparently they are an offshoot of the Molson Brewery. Among our appies were their mountain of truffle fries, crab cakes, fried octopus, lamb skewers, and bread and dips. Some of the dishes were smaller than I would have hoped for, especially with sharing amongst a group of four, but everything tasted pretty damn good.

relationship with food

The next night, we were back at the Central City Brewpub on Beatty Street (wow, we’ve been there a lot lately). This time, it was to celebrate Sis-in-Law Sip’s birthday with the restaurant’s monthly feature Bacon Tasting Menu. This was comprised of a salad (with beer bacon lardon), main (double smoked deep fried bacon steak), and finished with dessert (maple bacon blondie). Each dish was paired with one of the brewery’s beers, while there was a choice for the salad between a Wheat Ale or Bacon Seraph Caesar. Mrs. Sip and I went with the Caesar, which was good, but should have gone with the beer. The main was combined with an IPA and dessert was joined by a Red Ale.

The Sip Advisor’s birthday is later this month, but we will be away for it and therefore, Mrs. Sip threw yours truly a little birthday bash with friends over the weekend. For this, we attended the BC Derby at Hastings Racecourse. The afternoon was highlighted by many beers (Parallel 49 Gypsy Tears and Granville Island Hefeweizen) gifted to me by friends, incredibly tight and exciting races, and some decent food cart snacks. Mrs. Sip and I broke even with our wagers and wins, although she did better than I did. My two big wins netted 40 and 90 cents, respectively!

horse racing drinking hats

For dinner, we went to Steamworks Brewpub in Gastown, where I ordered a flight consisting of Kanadische Kolsch, Sisu Salmiakki Gose, Smokey Scotch Ale, and Oatmeal Stout. Of the bunch, the Smokey Scotch Ale was my favourite. I also ordered a pint of the Empress IPA, following dinner. The restaurant does something with the IPA that I have never seen before, combining it with Bellini mix. Usually I see this done (if at all) with a lager or lighter brew. I tasted Cousin Sip’s serving of the drink and the two opposites work together, with tastes of bitter and sweet battling it out.

With Mrs. Sip and I heading to South Africa for the next month, Sip Trips will go on a brief hiatus, but we’ll be back with a vengeance upon our return. Keep sipping, my friends!

Flavour Revolution – Orange

Blood from an Orange

The blood orange is a natural mutation of a normal orange. Speaking of mutations, superheroes can’t all become invincible, receive the gift of flight, or adopt spider-like abilities. Take Captain Citrus, for example, created by Marvel for Florida Orange Juice, at a cost of $1 million. His powers include making good choices… oh and energy shields and such, by drinking orange juice each day. Here are some of the other worst mutations/special powers in comic book land:

Jubilee

Poor Jubilee… she has long been viewed as a weak link in the X-Men armor and it’s quite understandable. I mean, she’s often the youngest of the bunch and her power is shooting fireworks from her hands, which she can’t even control that well. That’s like attending a 4th of July party at your buddies place and half his stash of explosives are duds that just fizzle out. Then a big one goes off unexpectedly and everyone has to duck for cover.

discovered super power

Almighty Dollar

Real name Pennington Pennypacker (where do they come up with this stuff!), Almighty Dollar shoots pennies from his hands. While that might hurt, wouldn’t that also kind of reward your foes!? If I was a villain, I’d get Almighty Dollar’s crime fighting attention as much as possible and see how long would it took to amass a fortune. I guess he’s out of luck in countries where the penny has been rendered extinct.

Bouncing Boy

I often wonder how superheroes (and regular folk alike) discover their talents. For example, Bouncing Boy has the ability to turn into a bouncing ball. Did he one day run into a wall and bounced right off it? Bouncing Boy’s success as a mutant is best seen when battling foes with animals as sidekicks. All he has to do is start bouncing around and he will distract the creature. As for people, the odds may be stacked against him.

Cypher

A member of the X-Men, Cypher is basically a glorified translator, who should really be employed by the United Nations, rather than being an affiliate of the mutant superhero team. I mean, how many times is Cypher called upon to help the organization. Isn’t he more of a liability than any help. I have to give him kudos for a pretty cool name, but one would hope he’s capable of more than facilitating discussion.

toxic waste super powers

Dollman

Somehow we’ll have to avoid all the genital jokes, but Dollman’s special talent is being able to shrink himself to six inches… you know, the size of a doll. I suppose that being able to decrease your size has worked for some heroes in the past (Ant-Man for example), but it might be the name of this character that really irks most fans. Now if Dollman lived in the Toy Story universe, that may make more sense than the comic realm.

Arm Fall Off Boy

Have you ever wanted to be able to remove your own arm and use it as a club against your enemies? Yeah, me neither. I feel that any superhero that is named solely after their “special power” is one that is doomed to fail. Aren’t you also at a more-than-slight disadvantage when you’re using one arm to swing your other arm at foes? And couldn’t your opponent remove your arm and use it against you!?

awkward super powers

Matter Eating Lad/Maggott

These two characters are known for their ability to eat anything and everything. Why this qualified them to be comic characters and didn’t just put them on a path for competitive eating glory is beyond me. Let’s hope that Matter Eating Lad/Maggott never cross paths with Eye Scream, whose talent is that he can turn himself into ice cream. I wonder what flavour he can change into and whether we can find spoons quick enough?

Kylun

I’m not sure if being able to copy sounds is even a super power, as the dude from the Police Academy movies seemed to be quite adept at it and I wouldn’t classify him as a hero… just a funny guy. As Soundwave from Transformers showed, all you really need is a robotic recording device to do similar work. I suppose Kylun could come in handy in espionage situations, but what worth would he have in battle?

Flavour Revolution: Dracula’s Kiss

Dracula's Kiss

  • Muddle Orange Wedges
  • 1.5 oz. SKYY Blood Orange Vodka
  • Top with Blueberry Pomegranate Juice
  • Splash of Lemon Juice
  • Dash of Simple Syrup
  • Garnish with an Orange Wedge

There is one superhero with odd powers that may be closest to the Sip Advisor’s heart. Gin Genie’s special talent corresponds with the amount of booze in her system. Mrs. Sip can tell you that I operate in a similar fashion!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This drink wasn’t bad, but there was almost too much going on to be anything special. The Bluberry Pomegranate Juice really takes over the tasting experience and makes the cocktail too juice-like.

September 12 – Life Flight

Frenzied Flights

As Mrs. Sip and I prepare for a 36-hour flight itinerary from Vancouver, Canada to Livingstone, Zambia, I am reminded of the many plane rides from hell that have entertained us over the years. Hopefully the two of us won’t have to deal with any convicts, terrorists, or venomous snakes, among other obstacles, and the journey is nothing but smooth sailings. These folks weren’t so lucky!

#5: Airplane!

Food on flights is pretty awful a majority of the time and mass food poisoning is only one of the many mishaps the passengers of Flight #209 had to deal with. Even their pilot was stricken by the illness. Personally, I’m still hesitant to touch airline meals after getting sick following our flight from Morocco to London last year and it’s not like I ever craved the barely-passable-as-food substances anyway.

airplane-boop

#4: Snakes on a Plane

While I’m fascinated by snakes, I’m also terrified of the creatures. If I was aboard a flight where dozens of the poisonous reptiles were unleashed (and stimulated to attack), the Sip Advisor would be hysterical and yes, there would be just as much cursing coming from my mouth as Samuel L. Jackson’s. You know, just minus the heroic courage and quotable punchlines!

#3: Con Air

As if snakes weren’t bad enough, imagine a plane full of violent criminals. That’s certainly not pleasant, but on the upside, you’re the one wrongly-convicted dude amongst them and you’ve served your time and just want to get home to your woman and baby girl. Of course, things don’t go according to plan and not even the worst southern accent in the history of film will help you!

first-class-passengers

#2: Air Force One

The concept of terrorists aboard an airliner became all too real, thanks to the 9/11 attacks. Back in 1997, though, it was largely Hollywood action fodder. So, Indiana Jones… er, I mean President James Marshall (played by Harrison Ford), finds himself aboard the Commander-in-Chief’s private plane, except he’s not alone. He’s joined by members of a Russian terrorist group and they’re looking for a bargaining chip.

#1: Twilight Zone

One of the worst aspects of air travel is your fellow passengers. They can be rude, smelly, anxious, obnoxious, and inconsiderate. I’ve even been on a few flights where passengers have nearly come to blows. What would be even worse, would be a passenger complaining about a monster being on the wing of your plane… especially if you’re trying to grab a little shuteye. The crazy part is the guy was actually right – dun dun dun!

Super Saturday Shot Day: Life Flight

It should also be noted that Launchpad McQuack of DuckTales and Darkwing Duck fame has one of the worst pilot records in history. Sure, once he’s up in the air, he’s a deft pilot. Problem is, he’s never met a landing that he liked, making for a white-knuckle ride every time!

Sip Trips #36: Labour Day Lunacy

The last long weekend of summer was a busy one, beginning Thursday night, as Mrs. Sip and I took an extra day off work. To celebrate Pa Sip’s birthday, we congregated at The Keg in Yaletown, enjoying a bottle of Danzante Pinot Grigio, followed by the Whistler Lost Lake Unfiltered IPA, for yours truly. The beer was quite good and I appreciated the bomber-sized serving, as it lasted throughout my meal. For years, I’ve advocated for the restaurant’s Prime Rib Burger, but they have now changed that item on their menu. While I still enjoyed the burger, it is now comprised of ground chuck, brisket, and sirloin meats. The price has also jumped from $12 to $15, but in fairness, bacon and cheese are automatically included now, when they used to be chargeable additions.

The next morning, Mrs. Sip and I made a run to Storm Brewing to fill a couple growlers for our weekend away. We tried their Brainstorms options, before settling on fills of their Vanilla Whiskey Stout, Sex on the Beach IPA, and Pineapple Pilsner. Also on their menu was a Dill Pickle IPA, Basil IPA, Cherry Whiskey Sour Pilsner, and Lime Lavender Pilsner. The Pineapple Pilsner was a perfect breakfast beer, while the Sex on the Beach IPA was best served in the afternoon, with the sun setting, and the Vanilla Whiskey Stout provided a wonderful nightcap to the evening.

liquor store run

Before arriving at our accommodation, a liquor store stop was needed. While I appreciate the government stores for their wide selection and decent prices, the occasional stop at a private store can unearth some hidden gems. I picked up bottles of Canuck Empire Chamomile Wheat, Bridge Bourbon Blood Orange Wheat, Lost Coast Raspberry Brown, Firehall Stoked Ember (although I thought it was Smoked Ember – clearly I need my glasses), and Rogue Hazelnut Brown Nectar Ale, while Mrs. Sip grabbed a bottle of Wayne Gretzky Pinot Grigio.

We were originally supposed to be camping in the Okanagan over the weekend, but one of our friends injured themselves and had to cancel. Luckily, we had other friends who were going to Penticton and had an extra room available at the house they were renting, so it was a small change to the plan. This property was actually located on a vineyard and has ties to the Poplar Grove Winery, where we went for dinner at their Vanilla Pod Restaurant on our first night. There, we enjoyed four bottles of wine, including Poplar’s Syrah and the Monster Cabs variety.

The next day began with a trip to the town’s Farmer’s Market, where I immediately hit the Tin Whistle Brewery post. After trying a few of their brews, I purchased a bomber of the Killer Bee Honey Porter. From there, we were off into wine country, where you can’t drive very far before you hit yet another winery. We started at the far end of the Naramata route, popping into Nichol Winery, where I enjoyed their Cab Franc and Syrah.

farmer's market bear

Next up was Therapy Winery, which has a number of great names for their products, including Fizzio Therapy, Pink Freud, Bi-Polar Ice Wine, and Freudian Sip. Sigmund Freud is a mascot for the vineyard and appears on their bottle labels. At this point, many wineries were very busy, with it being the long weekend and all. This meant that getting some space to be served was tough and pours were a little chintzy.

Looking to get away from some of the tour groups, we went to the neighbouring Van Westen and Joie wineries. Van Westen had a large selection of wines to sample and provided great service. Best of all, the tasting was free, with a suggested donation to the charity of their choice. At Joie, I liked the Oaked Chardonnay, which would have been fun to drink with one of the place’s wood fire pizzas, but they run out quickly each day. We did snag their last ice cream sandwiches (Earl Grey Tea ice cream, between two double chocolate cookies), which were a fantastic treat.

Day one wrapped up with stops at D’Angelo (known primarily for their reds) and Red Rooster, where my favourites included the Merlot and Reserve Syrah. By this point, palate fatigue was setting in and it was time to return to our place and switch to beer as we watched the sunset and snacked on appies – some healthier than others!

potato chips in cookie

Day two featured more wineries, this time on a walking trip of the ones located closest to our accommodation. We started at Township 7, a short jaunt from our place. Mrs. Sip and I normally aren’t big fans of their reds, but did like the Merlot we sampled. We also bought a bottle of their 7 Blanc, which is our favourite from the winery.

Up next was a long walk to Upper Bench Winery and Creamery, which combines all the best of wine and cheese (if that’s your thing) in the region. We sat down for a while and enjoyed a picnic, which included their Riesling (my fave), Chardonnay, and Merlot, accompanied by a very good charcuterie plate. Our one complaint is that we were charged a stiff markup on the wines we ordered, just because we were drinking them on location. Had we purchased the bottles and went somewhere else, it would have been much cheaper. I’m not a fan of places doing this, as it seems to punish people who are willing to be patrons at your business.

wine and cheese

On our return back to where we were staying, we popped into Misconduct for a tasting, before heading over to Monster, which is a sister winery to Poplar Grove and offers a different variety of wines and marketing, including bottles that glow in the dark. The Rose Bubbly was particularly nice here and I’m not even a fan of fizzy wines. We finished at Poplar, where we did an actual tasting this time around. The Pinot Gris was a definite hit for Mrs. Sip and me.

Before making the trek home on Monday, we took in some of the area’s breweries, including Cannery and Bad Tattoo. Our tasting at Cannery was comprised of the Skaha Summer Ale, Naramata Nut Brown Ale, Blackberry Porter, and Wildfire IPA, all of which were good. At Bad Tattoo, I ordered a sleeve of the recently released Tramp Stamp Pale Ale and thoroughly enjoyed the new variety. After all, a tramp stamp might as well be a bullseye!

Flavour Revolution – Coffee

Just Add Water

Let’s be straight: coffee is basically ground beans with the addition of water. Yup, that’s what you’re forking over good money to buy from places like Starbucks and their competitors. Admittedly, some things are just better with a splash of the wet stuff. Here are the best items where a little water goes a long way!

Tea/Coffee/Hot Chocolate

Of those three options, I’m more of a hot chocolate man, but I must admit that I don’t really like hot beverages much at all. I think one of the simplest pleasures in life is a cold drink… with lots of ice! It often blows my mind how expensive these drinks can be, given they’re usually comprised of something cheap (a tea bag or hot chocolate packet), simply joined by hot water.

hot drinks devil's temperature

Kool-Aid

I grew up on Kool-Aid, and the product really provided the first lessons in mixology that I ever learned. So much so, that I worked hard to perfect the right level of sugar to include in my pitchers of the juice. I had a few favourites over the years, including Blue Raspberry Lemonade, Strawberry Kiwi, and old-fashioned Lemon-Lime.

Ramen Noodles

Joining Kool-Aid, noodles were an essential part of my college diet. It’s amazing what one little flavour packet can do to improve your disposition in life! Okay, so the noodles probably aren’t that good for you, but they’re cheap and effective in quashing those hunger pains. Research has come along that says these noodles will lead to heart attacks and diabetes. It might be worth it!

Chicken Noodle Soup

It’s funny that a push was made through the new millennium to add more chicken, vegetables, and noodles to this classic soup, which works quite well as a cold and flu remedy. It has been my experience that people are mostly in it for the broth anyway, but if you prefer your soup to be loaded with other ingredients – let’s call them flavour enhancers – then that’s cool with the Sip Advisor.

chicken noodle soup

Pool/Hot Tub

Growing up with a backyard pool was amazing. I always wished I could have a hot tub, though, as that would be the best way to get Mrs. Sip in her bikini during the winter months! For other outdoor water fun, you could also throw together a classic Slip N’ Slide or load up a Super Soaker and get a little trigger happy!

Chia Pet

Cha-cha-cha Chia… with that innocent little jingle, the world was introduced to these potted plants. All you had to do was spread some seed (sounds dirty, eh) around the animal body, add water and before you knew it, you had a plant of your very own. Later, Chia Pets capitalized on popular characters, such as Scooby Doo and Garfield. There’s even a Barack Obama variation.

Theme Park Ride

Is there anything better than an amusement park ride that splashes down into a range of water… unless it’s the middle of winter and getting soaked is the last thing on your mind? During hot, humid days, though, these attractions can be a godsend. Some of my favourite water rides are Disney’s Splash Mountain and Grizzly River Rapids, Universal’s Jurassic Park, and Knott’s Perilous Plunge.

Flavour Revolution: Fall at Dusk

  • 1 oz Patron XO Café Liqueur
  • 1 oz Elderflower Liqueur
  • Splash of Pineapple Juice
  • Dash of Basil Syrup
  • Top with Soda Water
  • Garnish with a Pineapple Wedge

I have to disclose that I am in no way a fan of coffee, unless it comes in booze form. If you are, I forgive you for your sins. Testify, my little sippers!