July 21 – Michelada

Posted on July 21, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Beer-telligence

Let’s kick off Beer Cocktail Week on the right note with some education on the… you know what? It’s the middle of summer and I’m trying to get my tan on, so I’m going to go the lazy route with this one (ha ha, very funny, “isn’t that what you always do, Sip man?”). Rather than delight you with facts and trivia I’m able to dig up from around the internet, I’m going to let someone else do my dirty work. So, here’s an infographic from WearYourBeer.com… enjoy!

24 Things You Didn't Know About Beer

Drink #202: Michelada

1 Beer (I used Okanagan Springs 1516 Lager)
Splash of Lemon Juice
Dash of Soy Sauce
Dash of Tabasco Sauce
Dash of Worcestershire Sauce
Pinch of Salt & Pepper
Garnish with Lime Wedge

Well, this cocktail is supposed to be perfect for a hangover… thankfully, I never get them. Gotta drink something though. Cheers!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This is a very interesting beer cocktail. Its ingredients are similar to what you’d throw into a Caesar or Bloody Mary, minus the Clamato or Tomato Juice. That said, I have heard of Michelada versions that include those juices or other alterations and I’d be curious to try some different varieties.

July 20 – Melon Ball

Posted on July 20, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Creative Cuisine

There are some odd culinary pairings in existence where anyone who has tried the combo swears by its deliciousness. Some of these I’ve tried and others I’ve merely only heard about. While I’ll give most anything a fair shot, I must admit that some of these couplings will take more convincing than others. This seems to be a growing field in the gastronomic world, as there’s even an entire site dedicated to the cause. Here are some blends that I’ve tried myself or found around the wild, wild web:

Melon and Prosciutto

For two completely contrasting food items, melon and prosciutto work really well together. Even though I’m not a big melon fan, the mix of sweetness from the melon and salty from the prosciutto produce a melt in your mouth snack that will blow your mind. Of course, prosciutto seems to accentuate a number of other items from crackers to salads and everything in between.

Chili Powder and Vanilla Ice Cream

I’ve enjoyed chocolate with chili powder, so I don’t see it as too much of a stretch that vanilla ice cream would also work when paired with chili powder. Heck, some chili powder might be the perfect thing to spice (literally!) up your plain old vanilla ice cream. And if you begin to feel the burn, it shouldn’t be too long before the cool ice cream dulls that tongue-on-fire sensation.

Watermelon and Black Pepper

I’ve professed my love for watermelon through this site on a couple occasions already. That love will never fade and I must admit that combing the melon with black pepper intrigues me. Watermelon can be a very subtle taste, so perhaps the addition of black pepper is simply to bring the devourer back to flavour country aboard the pepper express!

Dark Chocolate and Parmesan Cheese

One suggestion was to enjoy this union as a grilled cheese sandwich and I’m still trying to get my head around that idea. Parmesan is one of the few cheeses I seem to not mind, but mixing it with anything other than a Caesar salad seems like crazy talk to me. I even ran this by cheese guru Mrs. Sip and she couldn’t exactly picture the meal being palatable.

Jalapeno and Strawberries

Most times, these odd pairings feature the coming together of two wildly different flavours. In this case, you have the sweet strawberries being mixed with spicy jalapenos. Each bite would be a mix of competing emotions, with the spice surely winning the battle. I only like jalapenos in small doses on nachos and such, so I don’t think this combo would go over very well for me.

Chocolate and Fried Onions

This concept has me quite intrigued. I think I would enjoy a plate of onion rings with a chocolate drizzle laid over them or a little dish of the sweet stuff on the side to dip the rings in. Hell, deep fry anything and dunk it in chocolate and you’ll probably come up with a decent, gluttonous snack. I’ll put money on the fact this concept was first dreamt up in the American south and for that, we thank you!

McDonalds Fries and Hot Fudge Sundae

This combination was brought to our attention by an Australian. The Aussies are known for doing crazy things, but this being on the tamer side, Mrs. Sip and I gave it a shot are were surprised at how well the two products came together. The salt sticks known as McDonalds fries pair very well with the sweetness of hot fudge and the creamy vanilla soft-serve ice cream.

French Fries and Ranch Dressing

I should be a spokesperson for ranch dressing. I mean, just like the Frank’s Red Hot commercials, I put that sh*t on everything… tacos, sandwiches, pizza, chicken, pasta, and especially French fries. A new combo I’ve been working on of late is to mix ranch dressing with honey garlic sauce before dousing the above items with this hybrid of sweet and tangy that will blow your mind. Patent pending!

Ketchup and Macaroni & Cheese

This is another one that I’ve been doing for years, since I was a little sipper, and don’t find it an odd pairing at all, but it came up a few times in the course of my research for this article. I prefer my mac n’ cheese to be leftovers, where the cheese has dried, rather than fresh with gooey, slimy cheese. Then, just splat some catsup over the bowl, mix it up and you have a perfect quick meal.

Peanut Butter and Bacon

I love peanut butter and I love bacon, so it seems mixing the two together might be a no-brainer. I’ve enjoyed both in chocolate, so perhaps we’d be looking at our first triple threat food pairing if we combined all three together. A PB&B sandwich actually sounds pretty tempting… delicious even. I’m pretty sure I’m going to make one to enjoy with today’s shot du jour.

Drink #201: Melon Ball

0.5 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Melon Liqueur
0.5 oz Pineapple Juice
Garnish with Watermelon Ball

What is your favourite odd food pairing? Give me your best recipes and perhaps I’ll do another post on reader suggestions and how well I was able to stomach them. Sounds like fun for all, doesn’t it!?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
The Watermelon Ball was a nice touch and the shooter was delicious. I was curious about Pineapple Juice being part of the recipe, but it worked well with the Melon Liqueur and you can’t ever knock Vodka for fear of a Vodka Belt reprisal!

July 19 – Tennessee Honeycomb

Posted on July 19, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

And the Winner Is…

Today we celebrate drink #200. People often ask me what I hope to get out of this site and I simply tell them that as long as I’m enjoying the ride (and all you little sippers out there are, as well), then that’s all I really need. But it would be nice to be bought out for a lifetime supply of booze and some stock options! On with the awards…

Biggest Surprise

Sometimes I go into making a drink with very little hope I’ll actually enjoy the recipe. Other times, I think a cocktail is going to be wicked awesome and it fails to deliver. This edition’s nominees include a Caesar recipe I made seconds of; the McNuggetini with its delicious blend of milkshake and barbecue sauce; and the sadly disappointing Chocolate Milk Mojito.

Nominees: Caesar, McNuggetini, Chocolate Milk Mojito

Winner: McNuggetini – I had faith in this concoction, but was still stunned at how well a Chocolate Milkshake and Barbecue Sauce could meld together!

Best Site Searches

There have been some really funny searches that have brought visitors to this site. While I wouldn’t classify these people as members of Sip Nation or as little sippers in any way possible, they have stumbled upon my little slice of the internet through explorations that range from bizarre to downright hilarious.

Nominees: ninjas hate crunchy leaves; guys crotch lederhosen; how to use trollop in a sentence; morning sex cardio; cat litter cocaine; wedding planning sucks

Winner: how to use trollop in a sentence – I knew my legacy in life was to be a teacher and I hope readers everywhere have learned a number of lessons from my warped mind.

Most Difficult Drink

I’ve learned throughout life that nothing comes easy… even when making cocktails. These nominees include the Whiskey Sick Day, where whip cream made a mess of everything; the Seven Deadly Sins shot, which required me to layer six different ingredients; and the Bend Me Over Slammer, which did not want to cooperate in the fizz department.

Nominees: Whiskey Sick Day, Seven Deadly Sins, Bend Me Over Slammer

Winner: Seven Deadly Sins – I had to be uber careful with this shooter because any false step and the ingredients would blend together, forcing me to start from scratch.

Best Garnish

I’m a huge fan of the garnishing game and I work hard to make my drinks unique. Sometimes the best thing for a drink is a simple lemon, lime, or orange wheel or wedge, but anytime I can break outside of the box, I’ll be sure to do that. While this is a tough category to trim down, it must be done for the sake of awesomeness.

Nominees: Gummy Snakes, Caesar Eco-System, PB&J Rim, Decapitated Strawberry, Barbecue Sauce Rim and Chicken McNugget

Winner: Gummy Snakes (used on Mojave Green Rattlesnake) – I delayed this drink by two months, searching for gummy snakes and the wait was well worth it when you see the final product.

Best Photo

This is another very tough category to pare down and pick a winner for. As previously stated, I work very hard on the presentation of cocktails for this miraculous site. That, combined with Mrs. Sip’s editing abilities and we try to offer a visually wonderful cocktail, regardless of taste and all that other junk!

Nominees: Mojave Green Rattlesnake, Snickertini, Guillotine

Winner: Mojave Green Rattlesnake – I love how this picture turned out, with the gummy snakes cooperating amongst the martini.

Top Shot

A favourite feature of mine on this site is our Super Saturday Shot Day page. Have a visit sometime and see all the hard work we’ve put into getting blitzed on shooters! Here are the best (in my personal opinion, which is all that has ever mattered!) we’ve made over the last 100 drinks.

Nominees: Carpet Licker, B-52, Seven Deadly Sins

Winner: Carpet Licker – While the name may be a turnoff to some (and remember, I don’t come up with these monikers), the shot was delicious and looked fantastic!

Best Drink

And here we are at the big award of the night. You wouldn’t believe what happened for our last winner, the PAMA-Jama. It became the talk of the town, earning seven-figure endorsement deals and TV pilots before substance abuse problems and a falling out with its management team led to one of the quickest rise and falls in stardom history. Let’s hope history doesn’t repeat itself!

Nominees: Raspberry Mojito, Mojave Green Rattlesnake, Coco Bongo, Root Beer Fizz, Tennessee Honeycomb (today’s cocktail!)

Winner: Raspberry Mojito – Each of these cocktails earned a 5-Sip rating, but the Raspberry Mojito takes home the statue thanks to it earning me the reputation of King of Mojitos!

Drink #200: Tennessee Honeycomb

1.5 oz Jack Daniel’s Honey Whiskey
Top with Ginger Ale
Splash of Lemon Juice
Dash of Orange Bitters
Garnish with Lemon Wheel

Time to return the tuxedo again until drink #300… damn, just realized there’s a little whiskey stain on the breast pocket… I knew I shouldn’t have slammed back so many drinks!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (5 Sips out of 5):
I “borrowed” this recipe from a local restaurant, Steamworks, were I thoroughly enjoyed this cocktail on a recent guy’s night out. Honey Whiskey has to be one of my favourite spirits out there and this drink lets it shine. Orange Bitters are the icing on the cake for this treat, while I’ve already written of my affinity for Ginger Ale as a mixer.

July 18 – Rasputin Cocktail

Posted on July 18, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Idol Worship

Throughout my life, I have found myself fascinated by certain individuals. People whose life stories intrigue me and make me want to actually “learn” more about them and their history. I wouldn’t say that these people are idols of mine, but they are extremely interesting folks, with tales that tend to captivate the masses.

Steve Jobs

While I’m not the biggest fan of Apple and its products (seriously, how annoying is the iTunes interface and non-compatibility?), I find Steve Jobs, the company’s founder and later saviour, to be a captivating case study. He lived a short life, but made the most of his time on earth. We can credit Jobs with so many innovations, from home computers, virtually every device with an ‘i’ in front of it, and even Pixar movies, the company he grew between his Apple stints.

Walt Disney

As a massive fan of Disneyland, I pay much homage to the man who first imagined the concept and then put his dream into work, jeopardizing everything he had built to that point, from reputation to life savings to his studio to his physical well-being. Every time I’m privileged to be in one of his parks (and particularly one that serves alcohol), I’m sure to say a little thanks to the legend and have a drink in his honour.

Ric Flair

For those who read my blog regularly, by now you should know that no Sip Adivsor list would be complete without a wrestling reference. This man styled and profiled his way to wrestling greatness and in the process lived the extravagant lifestyle of his on-screen character. Flair has been married (and divorced) four times and suffered great financial losses from bad investments, legal issues, and a lifetime of partying. Still, the ‘Nature Boy’ keeps ticking, making occasional appearances in the ring and still delighting fans with his over-the-top charisma and energy.

Rasputin

The amazing story of the assassination of Grigori Rasputin is one that first caught my attention in my high school history class. Now that I’ve actually visited Russia and been inside the room where his murder took place, I’m even more enthralled with the legend. For those who don’t know the details, Rasputin was poisoned, shot, stabbed and beaten, before being thrown into the frozen Neva River. Evidence later showed that water was in his lungs when his body was discovered, meaning he was still alive when thrown into his watery grave and likely succumbed to drowning.

Jimmy Stewart

Did you know that the It’s a Wonderful Life star was also a highly-decorated United States military pilot (the only actor to receive a higher ranking was Ronald Reagan, when he became president of the United States and commander-in-chief)? So, not only is Stewart one of my favourite actors, but you have to respect a guy that went to war throughout an acclaimed acting career.

Drink #199: Rasputin Cocktail

2 oz Russian Vodka (I used Beluga)
1 oz Frangelico
Garnish with Lemon Twist

One more person who fascinates me, is myself. I often ponder my own existence and I’m blown away with what I’ve accomplished and continue to achieve. I’m a wrecking ball of awesomeness, steamrolling the lame, and making this world a better place, one cocktail at a time!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I didn’t think I’d like this cocktail as much as I did. The Frangelico was nice and not overwhelming. I split half of the Vodka portion of the recipe between Plain Vodka and Raspberry Vodka and that accentuated the entire cocktail.

July 17 – Gambon’s Corner

Posted on July 17, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Are You Being Served?

Perhaps it’s my old age, but I’ve found myself increasingly becoming a bit of a stickler for high standards… providing I’m not expected to deliver them! With that in mind, here are the most annoying things about bars:

Troubles Waiting to be Served

It absolutely sucks when you feel that you’re constantly being passed over by the bar staff, in favour of girls who are falling out of their tops and douche bags that are pushy and demanding to be helped. I understand that the bar can get busy, but that’s why queues of any sort should be established. I like the bars where servers work one general area, allowing orders to be processed in a logistical fashion.

Nowhere for Coats

Obviously, this isn’t a big deal during the summer, but I don’t discriminate over seasonal drinking, so it sucks to walk into a bar that only features stools so that you have to throw your coat over your lap or sit on it. I’ve noticed that some joints actually have hooks underneath tables and ledges, allowing you to discard your jacket or other layered paraphernalia.

Lineup outside, Empty Inside

This is a dirty little trick businesses use to drum up business, making it appear like their place is so rocking that people are lining up around the block for the privilege of getting inside. Then, when you do get in, you find the bar, dance floor, etc. to be deserted and you wonder why you ever had to wait to get in at all. Luckily I refuse to wait in line to drink. Why overpay for cocktails I can make myself and waste my time in line when my personal bar is so much better?

Bars that Don’t Announce Last Call

Ever go up to purchase what you think will be your last drink of the evening (at least at the bar… night caps at home are always on the agenda!) and the barkeep informs you that last call has already passed? Well, excuse me… oh no he didn’t… you see, the announcement of last call must be audible to all in attendance and if your establishment is too loud for that (more on that subject later), you should have some sort of bell to impart that wisdom. Otherwise, serve me my god damn drink!

Sticky Floors

When you walk around a bar and you constantly have to pry your feet from the floor, it makes you start to wonder if the hygiene behind the bar matches. How clean is the glassware, the garnishes, the taps, everything? I’m not complaining about a small patch where some jackass just spilled his entire Jager Bomb, but the kind of pub where every step is like Velcro being pulled apart.

People Taking Large Tables for Small Groups

As much as it sucks to walk into a bar and not be able to find a seat, I can live with that (after all, first come, first served), providing people are at tables fit for their party. I understand that grabbing any table that opens up is a huge score, especially if you’ve been waiting a while, but to see two people occupying a table meant for six or eight customers can really be heartbreaking.

Loud/Bad Music

I hate going to places where I can’t converse with Mrs. Sip or any of the friends we may be out with. What’s the point! If we wanted to sit there and listen to music we have no control over, yelling at each other to be heard, and paying for expensive drinks, we should just go to my house. You can donate to the Sip Foundation, while I blast a random iPod, and yell at people about my grievances!

Gross Bathrooms

Given most bars are trying to encourage your appetite for either food, booze, or both, it’s amazing how many places have disgusting bathrooms. Granted, the people drinking in the establishment are really to blame for the mess, but a little regular upkeep will have customers returning to their tables still in the mood for beer and poutine. Mmmm, beer and poutine!

Unisex Bathrooms

Sticking with washroom issues (no, not that kind of issue), whoever dreamt up this idea was a total fool. Guys go the bathroom to get away from the ladies. Otherwise we’d be as rude as we wanted in their presence. And no girl wants to share a bathroom with a dude. They want to keep all their secrets to themselves. Plus, guys love that they never have to wait in line and laugh at the winding queue that usually builds outside the ladies room.

Obnoxious Drunks

We’ve all been there and it’s not a bar’s fault, unless they haven’t done their job to stop serving some twerp, but an obnoxious drunk can be the last straw on whether you stay at a pub or move on to another place. It’s bad when that obnoxious drunk is in your group and they follow you around to every joint you try to hit. Worst yet, if that obnoxious drunk is you, you’ll never be able to escape…

Drink #198: Gambon’s Corner

1.5 oz Tequila (I used 1800 Reposado)
Top with Watermelon Juice
Splash of Lemon Juice
Dashes of Orange Bitters

This drink comes from the Be At One menu I liberated, while on vacation in London recently. It was in this wonderful bar where I first concocted the idea for this post, noting that many other pubs I had visited just couldn’t compare. What draws you ire when you’re out and about town looking for the love of your life, sweet lady liquor!?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I wasn’t sure where to rank this drink. Then I added a little Simple Syrup to the mix to combat how strong the Tequila and Lemon Juice were and we had a hit. For those wondering where the name for this cocktail comes from, that mystery has now been solved thanks to a little research. It is named after Sir Michael Gambon, who completed a Top Gear test track corner (now named in his honour) on only two wheels!

July 16 – Godfather

Posted on July 16, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Classic Concentration

With today’s classic movie named drink, it’s turned my mind to all the landmark movies I’ve never seen, but really should get around to viewing. I’ve spent way too much time watching repeats of Dumb and Dumber and other movies I could see over and over again, instead of trying some new fare. Here’s my list of flicks I hope to check out at a couch near me soon!

Citizen Kane

Noted by many in the industry (and outside it) as the greatest film ever made, the closest I can say I’ve come to seeing it is the spoof The Simpsons did of the classic, with Mr. Burns searching for his long lost teddy bear. To be honest, I’m not ever really sure what Citizen Kane is about other than a sled called Rosebud… I hope I didn’t give away the ending or anything. Retroactive SPOILER ALERT!

My Fair Lady

Another classic film where my understanding of it comes from parodies. Family Guy did an episode once where Stewie Griffin discovers a young, unpolished English girl and works to civilize her, eventually falling in love with her. Musicals are more Mrs. Sips thing, but I’ll play along providing I’ve had enough to drink and I’m given a little treat at the end of the film… mmmm, chocolate ice cream…

Gone With the Wind

“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn!” If that iconic line wasn’t enough, you also have the performances of Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh. Legend has it that the studio had to campaign hard to use that ending line in the film, despite the fact it comes verbatim from the book. Think about the stuff Hollywood gets away with nowadays and it’s very hard to believe those words were ever an issue.

Schindler’s List

Mrs. Sip picked up a special edition set of this film a number of years back and we have still yet to pop it into the DVD player. After touring a concentration camp in Austria a few years back, it would have been the perfect time to accentuate what we had learned with this movie, but when we got back, life picked up at a hurried pace and we never got around to watching the Oscar winner.

Fritz the Cat

As a lover of adult animated comedy, I should really go back and watch one of the trailblazers in the genre. Fritz the Cat follows the adventures of Fritz, who’s no ordinary kitty. The movie is full of adult situations including drugs, sex and violence. It was the first animated movie to receive an X-rating. A sequel also followed, titled The Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat, which has the feline die at the end of each chapter.

The 10 Commandments

Perhaps I would care and understand more about religion if I watched this film… perhaps I still wouldn’t give a damn. Scratch that, I still won’t give a damn. Hell, I don’t even know what each of the 10 Commandments are. Something about adultery and stealing and neighbours… I don’t know. The movie still seems like a worthwhile watch, though, thanks to Charleston Heston’s iconic portrayal of Moses and a host of other classic actors.

Taxi Driver

The flick that launched the careers of Robert De Niro, Jodie Foster and director Martin Scorcese (and also indirectly resulted in an assassination attempt on US president Ronald Reagan). De Niro’s portrayal of Travis Bickle, a former U.S. marine who suffers a breakdown of sorts, has been cited as one of the greatest performances of all time, leading to John Hinckley, Jr. copying the character’s image and trying to kill the commander-in-chief, with the hopes of impressing Foster.

The Godfather, Part II

While I’ve seen the first Godfather, I have yet to watch the follow-up, which many regard to be the greatest sequel of all time. What will Michael Corleone do next, now that he’s running the show, following the passing of his father? With so many years passing between my viewing of the original film, I feel I’d have to go back and start from square one, but it was a good movie, so I don’t really mind.

Drink #197: Godfather

1.5 oz Scotch (I used Glenfiddich Millenium Vintage)
0.75 oz Amaretto
Garnish with Orange Twist

Well, that’s the list. Which one do you think I’ll get around to watching first? Have I missed anything that should be viewed ahead of all these classics?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I really liked this night cap and it gave me a perfect chance to bust out our crystal short glasses for the first time with this project. The Amaretto takes the edge off of the Scotch, making for an easy to drink and delicious cocktail. I added an Orange Twist as the garnish because of Marlon Brando’s death scene in the first Godfather.

July 15 – Lay Back and Relax

Posted on July 15, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Panic Attack

We’ve all been there… these incidents come up in our lives and although they are relatively routine, our anxiety level rises, we begin to perspire, and all the crazy worst-case scenarios we can ponder rush through our mind. Then, when it’s all over we let out a light chuckle and wonder why we got so worried in the first place…

Gas Light Comes On

You’ve been watching your gas meter for most of the drive, noticing it incrementally drop as you make your trek. You get your first moment of panic as it drops under the 1/8th notch and continues to fall sharply. Then, the little orange light flashes on and you’re a mess, thinking your car will break down right then and there. Until you find a gas station, especially if you’re in unfamiliar territory, you’re a nervous wreck. When you find a station you race into it, nearly hitting a pedestrian or two (don’t worry, they don’t matter) and you fill your car up like breathing oxygen into a breathless human. All’s well that ends well!

Meeting a Celebrity

Not that I’ve met many in my life, but the few I have (in a non-working, journalistic capacity) have caused me to get super shy and tongue-tied. Broski Sip and I once went to a nearby Walmart to meet wrestler Bret Hart and have him sign his autobiography, which was to be my Christmas gift that year from Broski. As we approached his table, all I could utter was a quick thank you, before we shuffled off. A few months later, I conducted a 15-minute interview over the phone with the grappling legend, without a single star-struck moment.

Splitting the Bill/Calculating Tips

You’re out with friends for dinner or drinks and the bill comes. How should it be split? Who ordered what? How’s everyone paying? I think it’s just all the questions that come up after a bill has been presented that can raise anxiety. I don’t know why tipping gets me a little nervous. I’m a good tipper and many places now give you suggested percentages to tip. If you’re paying electronically, you can let science do all the calculations. We all just need to relax a little.

Getting ID’d

I’ve been legal age in Canada for more than a decade and even in the U.S., for quite some time. I don’t get as apprehensive about it anymore, but when I was in my mid-20’s I got worried every time I was ID’d. Would they accuse me of having fake identification? Not likely. I still get worried sometimes across the border, because they don’t necessarily know what our IDs look like and we have had some incidents where they insist on a passport over our normally adequate driver’s licenses.

Parallel Parking

I absolutely hate parallel parking to the point where I refuse to do it. This can be an issue sometimes, given I live in a downtown core and am often forced to run errands for Mrs. Sip (hmmm, maybe my problem is Mrs. Sip!?) I’m actually a decent parallel parker if I have to do it, but I’ve rarely been forced into the situation, so why risk it when you can usually find a better and more accessible spot with a little patience?

Border Crossing

This one is very similar to getting ID’d. I think it’s just because you don’t know what to expect from a border guard. Will they be friendly, or a total jerk? What questions will they ask you? Even if you haven’t done anything wrong in your entire life, you feel like a border patrol agent will somehow sniff out your one minor transgression. Then, all they ask you is where you’re going and wave you through without incident!

Getting a Haircut

Every time I get a haircut, there’s always a few moments at the start of the job, when you look in the mirror and look so totally ridiculous that thoughts start running through your head about how your luck has finally run out and this will be an awful haircut. I always think, if all else fails I could shave my head (a little ace in the hole for the male sex). Of course, the haircut always turns out well in the end, but for those few moments when you can’t see that the end result will be fine, you’re sweating bullets.

Drink #196: Lay Back and Relax

1 oz Kahlua
1 oz Amaretto
0.5 oz Chambord
Splash of Grand Marnier
Top with Milk
Garnish with Strawberry and Palm Tree Stir Stick

I know I’m not the only one that has a small panic during these moments. Join me in exercising your demons and perhaps you won’t feel so bad about these tasks in the future. Have I missed anything that really makes you anxious? Like Frasier Crane, I’m listening!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I figured this drink would be good and I wasn’t disappointed. It might be a little sweet for some, but that can be solved by dropping the increments of some of the spirits and upping the milk content. A perfect cocktail for dessert.

July 14 – Guillotine

Posted on July 14, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Devices of Death

Implements of execution and their history are cruel but fascinating from many perspectives. Whether you look at the technology that has gone into the design or the history behind it, there is much to learn. Here are some of the contraptions that caught my attention after making today’s drink:

Guillotine

People are always looking to make things more efficient and the French nailed it when they took the age old act of beheading someone and mechanized it. Out were the days of needing multiple hacks of an often worn blade to sever a victim’s head, and in were the new days of “humanitarian” beheading. The guillotine became a popular image of the French Revolution, particularly the “Reign of Terror” period, which caused much upheaval in the country and saw the executions of King Louie XVI and Queen Marie Antoinette, among others. The best nickname for the Guillotine had to be ‘The National Razor’. The Sanson family of France was a six-generation dynasty (is that the right word for this!?) of executioners and Charles-Henri Sanson was largely responsible for making the guillotine the country’s next great killing machine.

Electric Chair

With the modernization of many death machines, designers were bound to harness the power of electricity for executions. As Thomas Edison worked to launch his direct current (DC) electricity, he publicly electrocuted an elephant and other animals using George Westinghouse’s competing alternating current (AC). The campaign to discourage the use of AC worked in at least one way: it was used for electric chairs beginning in 1890. The chair lost favour with many quickly (including Westinghouse) due to its high degree of cruelty and its failure to execute a criminal quickly. A photo of Ruth Snyder’s execution in 1928 was snapped by photojournalist Tom Howard, who was wearing a camera strapped to his ankle. It has become one of the most famous newspaper photos of all-time. While ‘the chair’ is rarely used today, it is still an option for many death row inmates, depending on the state they are incarcerated in.

Hangman’s Noose

The legendary device depicted in so many western movies and used around the world to end the lives of the guilty and sometimes innocent. Victims were more likely to have their necks snapped, rather than asphyxiation through being strangled by the rope. After a series of failed hangings (one dude survived three separate trips to the gallows, earning the nickname ‘The Man They Couldn’t Hang’) in the late 1800’s, a committee was formed to solve the issue and developed the ‘Official Table of Drops’ which examined just how much rope was needed, depending on weight, to terminate a criminal by breaking their neck in the process. Ah, science at its best. If the hangman’s noose had never been invented, we may never have discovered auto-erotic asphyxiation, so I guess you have to thank the device for that!

Euthanasia Coaster

When I used to play Rollercoaster Tycoon, sometimes for fun you’d build a ride that would launch passengers flying through the air and into a deadly crash landing. While, that’s not exactly what would happen with the Euthanasia Coaster (still a hypothetical invention), the ride has been designed to kill people who wish to end their lives. Using G-force to cause an insufficient supply of oxygen to the brain, most people would be brain dead after two of the seven vertical loops. Most interesting about the ride’s design is that they’ll have a body unloading zone… how many people do they expect to go through this? Although, admittedly, it would be my preferred way to go.

Drink #195: Guillotine

1 oz Butterscotch Schnapps
1 oz Irish Crème
1 oz Fireball Whiskey
Garnish with Strawberry (preferably headless)
Add some Strawberry Syrup for blood effect!

I picked this drink partly because it fits with celebrating Bastille Day (France’s National Holiday), but also because I find these execution devices to be quite intriguing… providing I never end up in or on one.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
Poor little Strawberry all decapitated and all… this was a Sip Advisor art project, and I think it went reasonably well. I wish I had put half the effort I did into this posed photo into my schooling days… maybe I`d be more than a blog jockey then. The drink itself was quite enjoyable with notes of Cinnamon and an underlying Butterscotch flavour.

July 13 – Cement Mixer

Posted on July 13, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Gross Gastronomy

Today I’ll be examining the foods I don’t like to eat. Because if I don’t like to eat them, neither should you, right? I draw inspiration from today’s shot, which while it tasted well enough, is actually intended to curdle in your mouth (needless to say, the texture isn’t what I would define as “pleasant”). When I was just a little sipper, I was a very picky eater. Thankfully, I evolved and now there’s basically nothing I won’t try… except these deplorable substances:

Cheese

I’ve made some peace with my old enemy. I’m okay with most melted options and have recently expanded to try the odd non-melted offering, but in general, I have a hate-on for the stuff that seems to make girls melt (especially if you mention “cheese” and “wine” in the same sentence). It was hard growing up not liking cheese because rather like the mold in my bathtub, it was everywhere (that’s right, Mrs. Sip is slacking on her household chores again!). It wasn’t until my teens when I realized I could control the stuff by asking for sans fromage.

No one told me my cheese could come like this!

Sour Crème

Ironically, my favourite types of chips usually fall under the sour crème and [insert ingredient here – onion, bacon, etc.] category, but I can’t stand sour crème on its own or even on nachos or in dips. Perhaps it’s because I’m a diehard supporter of ranch dressing and have just found a better substitute for sour crème in my growth as an eater. One day, they will build statues in my honour grasping a ranch dressing bottle!

Yogurt

You must be getting the impression that I don’t like dairy, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I just don’t like the taste of yogurt in the slightest. It’s made from bacteria and it tastes just like that. I won’t even kiss Mrs. Sip if she’s recently consumed some and trust me, she’s on to that fact and uses it as a repellant to my advances. But just like the persistent mosquito, I eventually get my bite in!

Popcorn

This is my least favourite of all the snack foods. I hate that the kernels always find a way to get stuck in my teeth and gums and even throat. Mrs. Sip and her family are big popcorn people, so you can start to see our vast philosophical differences. I will eat it on some occasions, but I’m a chippy man, through and through. Which begs the question: why don’t theatres sell potato chips? They’re less messy than popcorn and soooooo much better.

Tuna

My cats sure love the chicken of the sea and have been known to come in from miles away if Ma Sip is cracking open a can. Sadly, though, I’m not a fan (although I do love watching the kitties go nuts over the tuna water). The taste is just off-putting to me, regardless if it’s in sashimi form or part of a tuna salad sandwich. Give me salmon, cod, halibut, or literally anything else from the ocean, before tuna.

Ribs

Okay I know I’m against the huge majority of Rib lovin’ eaters out there, but I just don’t understand how food in which you have to constantly work around the bone is so damn popular. I eventually got over the whole bone thing for fried chicken, but with ribs, even when you get around the bones, the often fatty meat doesn’t do much for my meal enjoyment. I also don’t like getting too messy when eating and we all know that ribs are like the poster child of dirty foods, necessitating bibs and a multitude of napkins.

Tapioca/Rice Pudding

It doesn’t take a scientist to tell you what this gunk actually looks like… just any red-blooded male! I’d rather eat paper mache until my stomach exploded more dramatically than a fourth grade science fair project. And can someone explain to me the whole bubble tea craze? Do people actually want to suck tapioca bubbles through a massive straw? What am I missing here?

Drink #194: Cement Mixer

0.75 oz Bailey’s Irish Crème
0.75 oz Lime Juice
Garnish with a Lime Wedge

So, which foods irk you? Let’s see what happens when we share a little… come on sippers, bring in the love!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I was curious as to how this shooter would come together given the mix of acidic Lime Juice and thick, rich Irish Crème. As long as it didn’t curdle, I figured we’d be in business! On my first attempt, the shot turned into instant cement and we had to start from scratch. After a little more research, I found you had to actually mix the shot in your mouth by doing two separate shots or carefully layering the shooter. Luckily I have a split shot glass, so I took advantage of that. After swishing the liquids around in my mouth it does get lumpy quick. Don’t get me wrong, it tastes good, but the texture takes a little getting used to and may incite gagging for some.

July 12 – Chocolate Milk Mojito

Posted on July 12, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Back In My Day…

As it is with every generational gap, there are a number of things my children will never get to experience and when I sit them down and tell them about my numerous adventures and quests, they will be forced to ask (as they are gripped by the power of my tales), “Daddy, what’s that?” I will shed a brief tear as I detail a treasure we’ve all lost and an experience point they will never gain (or even need). Love it or hate it, this is the way of our world.

Going to the Video Store

I wasn’t a big video store patron growing up, but we always joke that Mrs. Sip’s dad largely funded his local store with his renting activities, in all likelihood, keeping them in business a couple months more than they had any right to be. I do have to say that there was always a thrill when you’d be taken out to rent a flick. What would you grab for your evening entertainment? What would be available? Would your favourite flick be waiting on the shelf or would it be heartbreakingly gone? And just think of the snacks that flowed as you snuggle up and enjoy your movie. It’s a party…until you have to rush the Video/DVD back by noon the next day or risk the late fines!

Tapes, CDs, DVDs

Every generation loses an item that was previously used to record music or pictures. Growing up, I saw the phasing out of records, tapes, and video cassettes. My kids will likely come into a world where there are absolutely no products to be purchased in order to enjoy entertainment. Everything is becoming downloadable and streamable. Services like iTunes and Netflix are rendering stores like Best Buy, HMV, and Future Shop useless and the evolution continues.

Chalkboards and Overhead Projectors

This one may all be for the better. White boards are infinitely superior to gross, dusty chalkboards, while PowerPoint presentations surely top annoying, impractical overhead projectors. I dreaded being picked in school to either write on the chalkboard or projector, knowing my writing style would result in smudged chalk or pen. Things are just so much more sterilized these days and I bet even if chalkboards were still the norm, half the kids in the school wouldn’t be able to use them due to the discovery of chalk allergy. Might as well wrap them up in bubbles…

Trans-Fats

With this overwhelming move to healthier lifestyles in recent years (which I am in favour of), we’re losing a lot of wonderful junk food items. We must remember that snacks are okay in moderation. It’s a person’s own choice how much restraint they actually enact. Just because some fatty wants to stuff a few more Oreos in their gullet shouldn’t affect my ability to have a Tollhouse Ice Cream Cookie Sandwich with all its glorious trans-fats still in place. Sadly, my children won’t get to experience such an occasional treat as this.

Walking to School

It seems kids get driven everywhere nowadays. Or if, in the rare case, they actually walk to school, they are accompanied by a parent from door-to-door. Gone are the days when your group of children would gather in a cul-de-sac and traverse the mean streets together. I believe that eventually legs will become redundant and humans will turn into a race of non-walkers. It’s already happening at the world’s biggest theme parks and will be coming to a town near you soon!

Pennies and Paper Money

Penny for your thoughts? Ha, not anymore. Pennies are being eradicated from the earth and finding lose change on the street (a childhood thrill) will soon be a figment of the past with more and more folks from my generation refusing to carry anything but plastic. My kids will also never have to worry about washing their clothes with money in their pocket, thanks to Canada’s new polymer bills. While this is good in that I won’t have to worry about their allowance being destroyed, it won’t teach them to keep track of their belongings and value their gifts.

Drink #193: Chocolate Milk Mojito (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

Muddled Mint Leaves and Limes
1.5 oz White Rum (I used Bacardi)
0.5 oz Peppermint Schnapps
Top with Chocolate Milk
Garnish with Chocolate Straw and Lime Wedge

I think for one week every year, we should force our children to live the way we did, giving them a chance to reflect on how good they have it – and also how awesome our lives have been. We could call it: A Blast from the Past, and while our kids beg us to return to normalcy, we shall refuse, for we are having too much fun!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2 Sips out of 5):
This had potential, but I might have misfired in some areas. I would remove the Lime and Peppermint Schnapps from future servings, as the Mint Liqueur is unnecessary and the Lime doesn’t play nice with the Chocolate Milk. Failure is not having the courage to try!