July 13 – Cement Mixer

Gross Gastronomy

Today I’ll be examining the foods I don’t like to eat. Because if I don’t like to eat them, neither should you, right? I draw inspiration from today’s shot, which while it tasted well enough, is actually intended to curdle in your mouth (needless to say, the texture isn’t what I would define as “pleasant”). When I was just a little sipper, I was a very picky eater. Thankfully, I evolved and now there’s basically nothing I won’t try… except these deplorable substances:

Cheese

I’ve made some peace with my old enemy. I’m okay with most melted options and have recently expanded to try the odd non-melted offering, but in general, I have a hate-on for the stuff that seems to make girls melt (especially if you mention “cheese” and “wine” in the same sentence). It was hard growing up not liking cheese because rather like the mold in my bathtub, it was everywhere (that’s right, Mrs. Sip is slacking on her household chores again!). It wasn’t until my teens when I realized I could control the stuff by asking for sans fromage.

cheese and woman

No one told me my cheese could come like this!

Sour Crème

Ironically, my favourite types of chips usually fall under the sour crème and [insert ingredient here – onion, bacon, etc.] category, but I can’t stand sour crème on its own or even on nachos or in dips. Perhaps it’s because I’m a diehard supporter of ranch dressing and have just found a better substitute for sour crème in my growth as an eater. One day, they will build statues in my honour grasping a ranch dressing bottle!

Yogurt

You must be getting the impression that I don’t like dairy, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I just don’t like the taste of yogurt in the slightest. It’s made from bacteria and it tastes just like that. I won’t even kiss Mrs. Sip if she’s recently consumed some and trust me, she’s on to that fact and uses it as a repellant to my advances. But just like the persistent mosquito, I eventually get my bite in!

Popcorn

This is my least favourite of all the snack foods. I hate that the kernels always find a way to get stuck in my teeth and gums and even throat. Mrs. Sip and her family are big popcorn people, so you can start to see our vast philosophical differences. I will eat it on some occasions, but I’m a chippy man, through and through. Which begs the question: why don’t theatres sell potato chips? They’re less messy than popcorn and soooooo much better.

popcorn stuck

Tuna

My cats sure love the chicken of the sea and have been known to come in from miles away if Ma Sip is cracking open a can. Sadly, though, I’m not a fan (although I do love watching the kitties go nuts over the tuna water). The taste is just off-putting to me, regardless if it’s in sashimi form or part of a tuna salad sandwich. Give me salmon, cod, halibut, or literally anything else from the ocean, before tuna.

Ribs

Okay I know I’m against the huge majority of Rib lovin’ eaters out there, but I just don’t understand how food in which you have to constantly work around the bone is so damn popular. I eventually got over the whole bone thing for fried chicken, but with ribs, even when you get around the bones, the often fatty meat doesn’t do much for my meal enjoyment. I also don’t like getting too messy when eating and we all know that ribs are like the poster child of dirty foods, necessitating bibs and a multitude of napkins.

Tapioca/Rice Pudding

It doesn’t take a scientist to tell you what this gunk actually looks like… just any red-blooded male! I’d rather eat paper mache until my stomach exploded more dramatically than a fourth grade science fair project. And can someone explain to me the whole bubble tea craze? Do people actually want to suck tapioca bubbles through a massive straw? What am I missing here?

Drink #194: Cement Mixer

Cement Mixer Shooter

So, which foods irk you? Let’s see what happens when we share a little… come on sippers, bring in the love!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I was curious as to how this shooter would come together given the mix of acidic Lime Juice and thick, rich Irish Crème. As long as it didn’t curdle, I figured we’d be in business! On my first attempt, the shot turned into instant cement and we had to start from scratch. After a little more research, I found you had to actually mix the shot in your mouth by doing two separate shots or carefully layering the shooter. Luckily I have a split shot glass, so I took advantage of that. After swishing the liquids around in my mouth it does get lumpy quick. Don’t get me wrong, it tastes good, but the texture takes a little getting used to and may incite gagging for some.

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