December 30 – Iron Man Cocktail

Posted on December 30, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

We’re Going Streaking

As tomorrow marks the conclusion of the 365-day cocktail project, my efforts will be included with some of the greatest streaks known the world over. In fact, it’s probably the greatest compilation ever put together in human existence… and you little sippers were all a part of history. Here are some other notable runs.

Cal Ripken, Jr. – 2,632 Consecutive MLB games

While baseball lacks so many of the physical demands of other sports (hell, players spend more than half the game simply standing around and do so little that they can sometimes play two contests in one day), Cal Ripken, Jr.’s 2,632 straight games is still an amazing achievement. The streak started on May 30, 1982 and ended on Sept. 20, 1998, as the shortstop wanted to wrap it up on his own terms and avoid any controversy that may follow in the twilight of his career.

Doug Jarvis – 964 Consecutive NHL games

To play that many successive games in one of the most physical sports on the planet is quite the impressive feat. When that streak spans your entire professional career (from 1975 to 1987), while winning four Stanley Cups, as well as the Selke Trophy (NHL’s top defensive forward) and Bill Masterton Trophy (awarded for perseverance, sportsmanship and dedication to hockey) that makes the record that much sweeter.

Brett Favre – 297 Consecutive NFL Quarterback Starts

Given how rough and tumble professional football can be, it’s astonishing that Brett Favre was able to start 297 games in a row, all while sending pictures of his junk via cell phone to select female members of team staff. Okay, so some of Favre’s shine rubbed off (perhaps bad word choice) near the end of his career, but you can’t take away the guy’s grit and passion.

Joe Dimaggio – 56-Game Hit Streak

It has been written before that the hardest thing to do in professional sports is hit a fastball. While I vehemently disagree with that assertion, I do agree that there are unique skills required to be a pro ball player and Joe Dimaggio’s streak is pretty impressive because of this. Perhaps more notable, the dude married Marilyn Monroe… not too shabby!

Lance Armstrong – 7-Consecutive Tour de France Victories

While Lance Armstrong’s streak of victories has since been tainted by his steroid scandal, the man competed in a world rife with cheating and he still managed to win seven straight Tour de France titles. Armstrong’s celebrity also boosted funding for cancer treatments, so regardless of his name being sullied, he still did some great things for the world.

Wayne Gretzky – 51 Consecutive Game Point Streak

Wayne Gretzky is the most prolific scorer in NHL history, putting up so many records that will never be touched. Among those, is his 51-game point scoring streak in 1983-84. The Great One averaged 3 points per game during that run and had he sat out the rest of the season after the stretch was ended, he would have still won the scoring title by 27 points!

Byron Nelson – 11 Consecutive PGA Tour Wins

Today, you’re likely to see a different leader atop the PGA Tour each week. To win 11 straight in today’s golfing world is totally unfathomable. Not ever Tiger Woods in his prime came anywhere near touching that mark. Nelson won 18 of 30 tournaments in 1945 and 52 throughout his PGA career. He also added 12 wins on other professional circuits.

A.C. Green – 1,192 Consecutive NBA Games

I think I’m more impressed with the fact the deeply religious man waited until the age of 38 to finally lose his virginity. Now THAT’S an iron man streak! Green’s foundation promotes abstinence before marriage and he was finally wed in 2002, following his playing career, which lasted from 1985-2001, including three NBA Championships.

Drink #364: Iron Man Cocktail

1.5 oz Amaretto (I used Disaronno)
1 Shot of Orange Juice
Splash of Grenadine

So, what’s next for The Sip Advisor? You’ll have to stay tuned for a big announcement on New Year’s Day. The excitement is palpable, isn’t it!?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This recipe comes courtesy of The Drunken Moogle site and while it is meant for the comic and movie character Iron Man, I think it applies here, as well. Simply place the shot of Orange Juice into the Amaretto/Grenadine Mix and slam the whole concoction back. The drink is sweet, so if you have a tooth for that, you’re in luck. Most will want to have a more tart taste mixed in, so this cocktail doesn’t work for all.

December 29 – Fireside Choco-Chat

Posted on December 29, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Something to Talk About

I sometimes like to watch those year-in-review retrospectives you find on news and sports channels. It gives you a real picture of what happened the previous 365 days and an idea of what to expect when the calendar turns over. So, as we try to stay warm by the fire, here are the people and topics we most discussed in 2013:

Miley Cyrus

People have been shaking their groove things for many years, but it took a raunchy twerking performance by former child star Miley Cyrus at the MTV Music Video Awards to really help the pop singer burst on the scene. She followed that up with a string of other wild antics and her music video for Wrecking Ball, which features the artist (and all of her tan lines – you figure she would have got some colour before this production) swinging nude from the construction device and licking a filthy sledgehammer.

Prince George

Perhaps it’s the anti-parent in me or perhaps it’s the fact I couldn’t care less about celebrity offspring in general, but I don’t get the interest in the whole royal baby thing. Sadly, this kid is more famous that any of us will ever be and he still needs someone to wipe his own ass. I’d praise his genetic luck, but years of royal inbreeding have to catch up to reality eventually. At least he can claim things of Kate Middleton that most men would kill to also have rights to.

Concussion Awareness

This is the hottest topic in the sports world (even surpassing steroids) and it only seems to be getting more serious with each passing year. In 2013, the NFL reached a $765 million settlement with its former players for concussion treatment and earlier this month, news came out that a similar class action lawsuit was being filed against the NHL. While the players involved should be compensated, I feel we’re travelling down a slippery slope towards the elimination of contact sports entirely.

Rob Ford

The every-man mayor proved he was much more than your typical person and provided late night shows with copious amounts of material. Sure he continues to leave a black eye on the city of Toronto by refusing to step down and out of the public spotlight, but it’s no worse than their professional hockey team has been doing for years! Perhaps once he’s experienced close to 50 years of futility he’ll finally call it a day.

Kim Kardashian & Kanye West

Kim and Kanye, or Kim-ye as they have been unitedly known, are perhaps Hollywood’s hottest power couple right now. This is what you get when you combine the amazingly egotistical Kanye West (he is the voice of our generation, after all) and the talentless yet uber famous Kim Kardashian (sorry, what exactly has she done again?). Don’t forget about baby North West, who has the perfect name for a fragrance already lined up: North by North West!

Fifty Shades of Grey

The franchise should really be called Fifty Shades of Who Cares, although I know I’m waging a winless battle. I’m just so outnumbered by women in their middle ages who love their mommy porn. How powerful is this group, you ask? Well, they’ve already forced Charlie Hunnam to give up on his role as Christian Grey in the film just because many thought he didn’t fit the part and backlashed against the performer on social media. What’s next? Will they get me booted off my own site because I’m far too talented? They may have a case there!

Drink #363: Fireside Choco-Chat

1 oz Marshmallow Vodka (I used Smirnoff Fluffed)
1 oz Peppermint Schnapps
Top with Hot Chocolate
Garnish with Whip Cream and a Chocolate Spoon

Before we retire for the evening, we should pay tribute to those who passed on in 2013. May there be drinks waiting for you all wherever you may be!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
I went with Candy Cane Vodka instead of Peppermint Schnapps and that might have changed the taste. While I had looked forward to mixing Fluffed and Candy Cane Vodka with Hot Chocolate, I wasn’t overly impressed with the final product. Mrs. Sip liked it better than I did, however.

December 28 – Broken Down Golf Cart

Posted on December 28, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Surviving the Season

There are a number of things you just can’t do during the winter. Golf, for example, is pretty hard to play and enjoy if you live anywhere that experiences snow storms or other inclement weather. I’ve searched around for advice on how to beat the winter blues (not that I’m necessarily down myself) and while I agree with some suggestions, others have me perplexed and even angry. Here are some of those recommendations:

Relax/Catch up on Sleep

Mrs. Sip tends to burn the candle at both ends year round, but I feel run down the most at Christmas. With all the social gatherings on top of the usual pattern of work and activities, it can all be quite exhausting. Add to that the whole Christmas shopping mess and you’re in for a rough holiday ride. It’s also a time to be thoroughly enjoyed, so hibernating through the cold stretch isn’t desirable either. Find a perfect balance between rest and play and you’ll do fine.

Don’t Binge Drink

You little sippers know even before I launch into an obscenity-laced tirade that I’m not going to agree with this notion. I think the best part of trying to cope with winter is getting blitzed in your wonderfully warm abode while watching ancient episodes of Family Matters and Full House and longing for a simpler time in life. If you want to binge drink, by all means, go for it… and have a grand ol’ time while doing so.

Embrace the Season

I largely believe in celebrating whichever time of year you’re currently living through. Winter is no different. The season provides ample opportunity to do things you can’t most of the rest of the year, like ski, snowboard, ice skate, have snowball fights, build a snowman and so on. You should also treasure the time provided to be with family and friends over the holidays because you never really know how much of it you’ll have.

Treat Yourself

I love on Parks and Recreation how Tom and Donna celebrate ‘Treat Yo Self Day’ and apparently I’m not alone. The official day of this amazing holiday, as per its own Facebook page is Oct. 13. How you decide to Treat Yo Self is entirely up to you. It’s also a good idea to treat someone else really well and your efforts may come back as rewards in the future, doubling your positive results.

Exercise/Healthy Diet

I’m totally down with the exercise part, but the healthy diet doesn’t jive. Christmas is all about the cookies, chocolate, and other treats. I subscribe to the theory of the ‘Guy-et’ where as I work out for the sole purpose of balancing out all the bad habits I have. If you do it well enough, you’ll even begin seeing gains, but the point of the program is to at least hold off any losses.

Find Some Sun

Whether this is achieved through travel or something as simple as hitting the tanning salon, you have to find a way that works for you to warm up and get some vitamin-D coursing through your veins. Most years, Mrs. Sip and I seem to be able to get away to a warmer climate during the winter and I wholeheartedly advise others to do the same. It’s good to bring the swimsuit and sunglasses out in December and January.

Improve Yourself

Remember those resolutions you laid out at the start of the year? With only days or weeks left on the calendar, it might be time to finally cross off some of your tasks. While Mrs. Sip and I sit down each January 1st and discuss our goals for the year, the only one I maintain is the one Samuel L. Jackson once outlined as guest host of Saturday Night Live: “Continue to kick ass!”

Drink #362: Broken Down Golf Cart

0.25 oz Vodka (I used Lychee)
0.25 oz Melon Liqueur
0.25 oz Amaretto
0.25 oz Cranberry Juice
Garnish with Candies

Do you have any other suggestions for surviving winter? Please share for all the little sippers out there that might be struggling through the season!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
The Lychee Vodka made this shooter a little more interesting than it might have been normally. It worked well with all the other ingredients and I still can’t really describe the liquors complex taste. You can’t really go wrong with Melon Liqueur, Amaretto, and Cranberry Juice, so the Vodka was simply the icing on the cake!

December 27 – Hammered Farmer

Posted on December 27, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Experience Points

I got to thinking the other day about things that must be experienced as a drinker. The rites of passage as a boozehound, if you will. Here’s some of the items that crossed my mind and I believe made me the Sip Advisor I am today!

Drink from a Funnel – Friends of Mrs. Sip and myself had this funnel they called Skeletor (thanks to it being a skull), which was fun drinking out of and made for a good dare as part of drinking games.

Do a Keg Stand – As a kid, I was always standing on my head. It’s something I did well and I still do head stands on many objects I find. Combine that with chugging beer and you have the infamous keg stand. I think I did pretty well in my only attempt.

Use a Flask – I first bought a flask in my early 20’s and have since upgraded to a much nicer one, which I gave out to each of the groomsmen and ushers in my wedding. As I’ve written before, Fireball is my go-to flask filler and it has seen me through many wild nights.

Buy Booze as a Minor – While I didn’t frequently do this, it did happen from on a couple occasions and without incident. It truly shows your dedication to the sport.

Enjoy an Open Bar – I’ve been lucky enough to attend a few “open bar” functions in my time. Sometimes those bars haven’t been very lucky to have me as a guest!

Rent a Keg – This is something I have yet to do personally. Sure, I’ve been to the odd keg party, but I’ve never hosted one. We’ve often bandied about the idea of getting a keg for my annual beer pong tournament, but letting folks drink whatever they wish has always won out over the mass serving. I did have a mini keg that travelled through some of Europe with me, if that counts.

Drunken Karaoke – Is there any other kind of karaoke!?

Buy a Round for a Group – It’s always important to take your rightful turn in buying drinks for the group. Just make sure you get yours back in due time.

Invent a Cocktail – Clearly this is no longer an outstanding issue for the Sip Advisor…

Buy a Woman a Drink – Does Mrs. Sip count? If so, then check!

Play Drinking Games – Whether it’s Beer Pong, Quarters, King’s Cup, Flippy Cup, or anything else, drinking games are an essential element of boozing fun. I’d say go easy on rookies, but they should know what they’re getting themselves into.

Go on a Beer/Wine Tour – In the course of this project, I’ve detailed the wine and beer tours I’ve been privileged to go on. Next up comes some visits to hard alcohol distilleries.

Do a Shot Challenge – Whether it’s one you create on your own or something hosted by a bar, these are always a fun way to get smashed and stretch your drinking limits. Mrs. Sip and I took part in one notable challenge in Nice, France, where we (along with three others) had to down all of our 10 shots in successive order. I was the only one ballsy enough to include a couple Flatliners in my set.

Visit a Beer Hall – Drinking around the world has become a huge part of travel for Mrs. Sip and I, whether it’s trying news beers, wines, and spirits, or visiting booze landmarks across the globe. The beer hall we enjoyed in Munich, Germany was among these great memories.

Do a Pub Crawl – Man are these fun… I’ve done crawls in a lot of parts of the world (Key West, Florida; Preston, England; Honolulu, Hawaii; etc.) and they’re always full of laughs, adventure, and of course alcohol. Map out a route and hit the town!

Survive a Hangover – Does it count if I’ve helped someone through their hangover? Remember, the Sip Advisor is immune from rough morning afters.

Be Known by Name at a Bar – While I have yet to find a place “where everybody knows my name”, the Sip Alliance was recognized at The Yard House in Hawaii as “Oh, you guys are back!”

Ride a Mechanical Bull – This should only be done while blitzed because it limbers you up for the eventual fall. I achieved this at the PBR Rock Bar in Las Vegas this year (twice!) and it was totally worth the resulting crotch bruising.

Hit Multiple Fast Food Joints on the Same Night – Guilty as charged. Just the other day, Mrs. Sip and I grabbed some Mickie D’s takeout and while passing by a Mega Bite pizza shop, I joked we should grab some slices for the road as well. Before I knew it, Mrs. Sip was in there snatching some before we were on our way again!

Drink #361: Hammered Farmer

1.5 oz Spiced Rum (I used New Orleans)
Top with Root Beer
Splash of Apple-Lime Juice
Garnish with a Lemon Wheel

What else do you think qualifies as a rite of passage for experienced drinkers? I wanted to include my feat of drinking a beer underwater, but Mrs. Sip insisted it was so rare and awesome that I was the only that would qualify. She’s always pumping my tires!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This is one of those bizarre recipes where they recommend way too much booze to make a decent drink. They say you should use 4 oz of Spiced Rum. While that will achieve the desired effect of being a Hammered Farmer, the cocktail’s taste will be way too strong. I dumbed the ingredients down to make a tasty drink where you can taste each element being presented. You’ll still get blasted, it just won’t be from one serving!

December 26 – Santa’s Last Job

Posted on December 26, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Boxing Day Blowout

There are jokes out there that Boxing Day got its name from people packing up the gifts they got for Christmas, in order to return them to stores for refund or exchange. Same goes for people hastily packing up their holiday ornaments mere hours after their family celebrations. While both are completely untrue, here are some things you could be doing on Dec. 26!

Shopping

Malls and stores are madhouses on this day and I prefer to not have to deal with either. I don’t really think great deals are achieved and the headache of waking up early and dealing with crowds isn’t worth it. The couple times I have previously gone Boxing Day shopping were more hassle than anything else, like the year I bought a new laptop, with very little savings, and in the outlet’s haste, they didn’t even load it up properly and I had to return to the outlet numerous times to drop off and pick up my new computer.

Open House

This year, like last Boxing Day, I have been given the task of playing barkeep for my family and in-laws, as they enjoy the Christmas afterglow with food, treats, and being incredibly lazy. Thankfully, this year, I’ve taken Dec. 27th off from work and can join in the celebrations, instead of having to drive home later in the evening and get ready to return to work the next day. It will be a rocking open house, indeed!

Watch Sports

As I outlined in an earlier post, there’s a lot of sports to be consumed during the holidays. Boxing Day features the kickoff of both the World Junior Hockey Championship and Spengler Cup, as well as test cricket matches and a yacht race in Australia. In the UK, each football league holds a full slate of matches and throughout Africa, prize fights are held, given true meaning to the name ‘Boxing Day’! Apparently, Boxing Day is also a popular day for horse racing in different parts of the world.

Polar Bear Swim… yeah, that could be worth watching, too!

Playtime

If you’re not cozied up watching sports, you could pop outside into the fresh air and enjoy some physical activity. There used to be an annual fox hunt in England, but while that has been outlawed, the powers that be can’t ban us from playing sports like hockey, soccer, and football, or participate in winter activities like skiing, snowboarding and ice skating. Make sure to include the young ones and give them an idea of what it’s like to be outdoors for a change.

Be Charitable

Boxing Day could provide the perfect opportunity to pitch in somewhere in your community and help those less fortunate. My donations to this world are this wonderful website and all of its free content, which until I’m paid to operate, will serve as my community service. There are so many other ways for you normal folks to lend a hand, but I’ll leave that decision to you… or you could just send money my way and turn this non-profit into a fully functioning industry!

Drink #360: Santa’s Last Job

1 oz Vodka (I used Devil’s Food)
1 oz Chambord
Top with Milk
Garnish with Jellybeans

What do you prefer to do with your extra day off for Boxing Day? If it’s enjoying your new gifts while getting drunk off your ass, join the club!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
This cocktail is perfect for dessert or a nightcap, with Chambord kicking in a bit of berry flavour amongst the Devil’s Food Vodka chocolate taste. Sometimes something as simple as a couple Jellybeans can make a really nice garnish. Simplicity can be a beautiful thing!

December 25 – Merry Christmas

Posted on December 25, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Wrapped Records

As with almost everything, Christmas can produce a ton of World Records. From largest this, to smallest that; most expensive, to oldest. Here are some of the notable records I was able to dig up:

O Tannenbaum

Christmas is a time of stuffing your face full of chocolate and other treats, but it would take an entire harem (all I want for Christmas!) to devour this particular world record. Chocolatier, Patrick Roger, created the world’s Tallest Chocolate Christmas Tree in 2010. The structure stood 32-feet high and weighed 8,000 pounds. Roger’s project took an entire month to finish and used $45,000 worth of dark chocolate. Pieces were broken off and sold with proceeds going to charity. Now all we need to find is the world’s largest glass of milk and we’re good to go!

Family Jewels

It’s really no surprise that the world’s Most Expensively Decorated Christmas Tree can be found in the United Arab Emirates (although I am surprised the country celebrates Christmas at all). There, at the Emirates Palace Hotel, guests can marvel at the 43-foot tall tree that has been decorated with $11 million worth of jewelry. This includes precious gems, diamonds, and pearls. What else would you expect from a joint that houses a gold ATM and serves a cognac that goes for $2,000 per serving.

So Much for Tinsel

Sticking with the theme of “most expensive”, Hallmark Jewellers in the UK created the world’s Most Expensive Christmas Decoration in 2009, with their ball that includes 18-carat white gold, encrusted with 1,578 diamonds. The decoration is circled by two red rings, comprised of 188 rubies. The ball’s estimated value is $130,000 and took an entire year to craft. Creator Mark Hussy, owner of Hallmark Jewellers wants the company to be as famous for Christmas as Faberge for their eggs. I’d probably promptly drop this decoration and have it shatter all over the floor, as I did with the decoration Mrs. Sip gave to me this Christmas.

Red and White Pride

I think it’s safe to say that almost everyone has at one time or another owned a Santa hat. Well, you could have been part of a world record. In 2010, 872 people gathered in Brockton, Massachusetts – all decked out in their Santa’s hat best – to set the record of Most Santa Hat Wearers in One Place. I would have thought the number to be bigger, which shows this record is up for the taking. I don’t like crowds, however, so you can count me out.

Small Frosty

No, that’s not a drink order at Wendy’s. It’s actually for the world’s Smallest Snowman, created by the National Physics Laboratory in London. Using tools meant for working with nano-particles and welded together by miniscule samples of platinum, two tiny tin beads were fused together to form the snowman’s body. From there, an ion beam was used to give the snowman a face. I don’t think this version of Frosty would melt in the sun, but it might easily be misplaced.

Claus Collection

We venture to Canada for this record, where retired teacher Jean-Guy Laquerre has amassed the Largest Santa Claus Memorabilia Collection, including 20,000 drawings, toys, and figurines. I told you all the French were a little crazy! Laquerre began his collecting ways in 1988 with a few items. Now it takes him a full two weeks to get all his treasures set up on display. If it takes that long to set-up and tear down, one has to wonder why he doesn’t just leave the collection up year round. I guess he’s not as lazy as the Sip Advisor!

Early Writings

In 1992, the world’s Oldest Letter to Santa was discovered (now coming in at over 100 years old). Perhaps the most interesting part of the story is where the message was found: inside a fireplace. The letter, written by two young siblings in 1911, asked for a baby doll, jacket with hood, pair of gloves, toffee treats, and cash money (a gold penny and a silver sixpence). I wonder what my early Christmas lists requested. Probably peace on earth… I have always been a worldly treasure!

Drink #359: Merry Christmas

1.5 oz Gin (I used Hendrick’s)
Top with Club Soda
Splash of Cranberry Juice
Splash of Lemon Juice
Garnish with Cranberries

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Christmas, as they read this spectacular post. Now it’s time for me to get back to my presents… oh yeah, and family, too. Have an awesome day!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This recipe is very similar to a Cosmopolitan with a few differences. Gin is subbed in for Vodka, Lemon Juice for Lime Juice, and Club Soda added to the recipe. It all makes for a drink as good as the Cosmo, especially when done cocktail style.

December 24 – White Christmas Dream

Posted on December 24, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas

When it comes to Christmas Eve traditions, I’m sticking to the sweet things in life. None of this going to church crap or fasting and depriving yourself of all the wonderful things this world has to offer. I’m talking stuffing your face with food, watching great entertainment, and drinking yourself into a delightful Christmas coma. Here’s what we should all be up to that night:

Eating Right

By eating right, I of course mean eating wrong. If you haven’t polished off something deep-fried and greasy or chocolate covered before the evening is through, then there is something seriously and inherently wrong with you. Mrs. Sip and I have enjoyed meals out the last few years, gorging ourselves on lobster, beef, beer, and wine. Others might order out and let others do their cooking. It’s a fantastic idea and will keep you sane through the crazy holidays!

Hey, we all have to eat, right!?

Viewing Party

The perfect combo, as you enjoy your gloriously fattening meal is to thrown on some of the movie, special, and TV show favourites I’ve pointed out throughout this month. Make sure snacks are thoroughly stocked throughout the house, including the bathroom. You never know when you’ll be stuck in there for a prolonged period of time and it’s always recommended that you keep feeding the beast, rather than starve it.

Deck the Halls

If you’ve chosen to take this time and do a little last minute decorating, first, shame on you, and second, put all that crap down and relax. It’s too late anyway and all you’ll end up doing is un-decorating on Boxing Day. Take my advice and simply wait for next year. You’ll be happier, but perhaps not healthier.

The Good Book

This may be the only time I ever advocate for the act of reading, but some should probably be done Christmas Eve, especially if you have young ones roaming your halls. Of course, The Night Before Christmas is the perfect tome to share aloud. There has to even be recorded copies of the classic, so I don’t have to actually doing any reading myself!

Gimme, Gimme, Gimme

I prefer to not open gifts on Christmas Eve (not even one) in favour of saving them all for a grand Christmas morning melee. If you’re one of those poor suckers still tracking down gifts on the day before Christmas, let me enjoy a thorough laugh at your expense. Make sure to get a treat for your pets, as well, as it’s amazing to watch kitties get lit up on catnip and chase little toys among the discarded wrapping paper!

Getting Blitzened

Not surprisingly, the Sip Advisor doesn’t view Christmas Eve as any less of an evening to get your drink on. There’s nothing like burning out your own bulb and passing out in front of the TV before a long winter’s nap. If you have to do any driving Christmas Eve, this of course isn’t achievable. The second you arrive at your final stop, however, you better do everything you can to get into the Christmas spirit, whether that’s shot-gunning a few brews or challenging your loved ones to a shooter challenge.

Leaving Something Out

Before heading to bed tonight, make sure to leave out a little sumpin’ sumpin’ for Santa Claus and his team. For the reindeer, a helping of carrots will keep their vision strong throughout the night, while jolly ol’ St. Nick can keep his energy level up with cookies and milk. Let’s just hope the guy isn’t lactose intolerant. Finally, make sure to leave a little cheese for Santa Mouse, the littlest helper of the bunch!

Drink #358: White Christmas Dream

1 oz Vodka (I used Smores)
1 oz Amaretto
Top with Milk
Garnish with Chocolate Sprinkles and a Wafer Stick

I wish all you little sippers a very merry Christmas. May you each get everything you wanted and more. As for myself, providing Mrs. Sip ends up wearing only tinsel, I’ll be the merriest of us all!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I suppose I went against the whole “White Christmas” theme by adding Chocolate Sprinkles and the Wafer Stick, but all white snowfalls eventually turn a little dirty. The drink tasted really good and wasn’t overly sweet or anything like that.

December 23 – Silent Night

Posted on December 23, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Family Photo Album

The Family Sip never really did the Christmas family photo thing, but for some, it’s an annual tradition. And it really shouldn’t be, given how awful most of them turn out. I ask that all you little sippers proceed with caution through this list. The ugly mugs are bad enough and now you also have to deal with some truly deranged people. Enjoy!

Am I the only one a little horrified that this guy seems so delighted to be wearing a diaper!? I got a 20-spot on the dad wetting himself before the child… otherwise it’s a wasted diaper which are clogging up our landfills. The look on the kid’s face really tells the story here. I call it the ‘scarred for life’ pose and the youngster is pulling it off to perfection.

It looks like they’re trying to recreate the Human Centipede movies and daddy is going to smack mommy’s backside red! You only hope this photo was later used in court documents… I just can’t decide which one of the family members would be first to sue for divorce, the kids or the mother. I hope Mrs. Sip is in for some reindeer games this holiday season!

Someone really didn’t want to take part in the annual family photo and I don’t really blame him. No, it seems Eric Forman here wanted nothing to do with this photo shoot. He was probably pulling his ‘rebel with a Christmas cause’ act because his big bro is so into the project. That’s because he knew he was rockin’ his new goatee and he wanted to memorialize the look for prosperity.

It looks like dad didn’t get the memo on what to wear for the family Christmas photo. Perhaps he was just recently released from prison and didn’t have time to purchase a new wardrobe. The scary part is that if these girls are comfortable with how their father is portraying himself in this photo, that means he dresses this way around the house all the time… and that’s not cool.

I’m surprised the setting for this isn’t a trailer. This seems like the wrong message to be sending to your kids… you should never have them suffer through family Christmas photos. Oh, and the smoking thing is pretty weird! I wonder if they also received an ashtray in each of their stockings? Then again, trailers don’t have chimneys for said stockings to be hung!

Drink #357: Silent Night

1 oz Tequila (I used El Jimador)
1 oz Blue Curacao
1 oz Triple Sec
Top with Pineapple Juice
Splash of Lime Juice
Garnish with Lime Wedges

Do you have a favourite family Christmas photo that I haven’t covered or have a hilarious caption to one of these gems that you just must share. Let’s turn this Silent Night into an uproarious occasion of laughter and joy!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
A couple quick notes about alterations I made from the original recipe listed above. I completely removed the Triple Sec as Blue Curacao is basically the same ingredient, only blue and I swapped Pineapple Juice out for Pineapple Soda because I wanted some fizz with this drink and also wanted a clearer liquid than Pineapple Juice offers. The result wasn’t too bad, but I’m still not a huge Pineapple liquid fan, despite loving Hawaiian pizza.

December 22 – The North Pole

Posted on December 22, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Sweater Shop

In recent years, ugly Christmas sweaters have become more of a popular theme for holiday parties. Some offices will even host an annual competition with employees showing off their hard-on-the-eyes winter warmers. Here are some of the funniest entries I was able to locate!

This gives a whole new meaning to Operation Red Nose! It takes a lot of balls (or in this case ovaries) to wear an outfit likes this. It’s not so much that the top is ugly… just bizarre. I bet that nose becomes quite the target at any party she goes to and I pray she never chooses this wardrobe for going to the clubs… guys on the dance floor are big enough losers without falling all over themselves for stuff like this.

If this is what they meant, I don’t want to wish joy to the world! This guy looks incredibly uncomfortable and I’m not sure if that’s because of the sweater or his weight. Perhaps he hasn’t left that couch for ages and he’s still dawning this sweater despite the photo being taken in mid summer. Quit staring and make him some fried chicken.

I feel bad for women. When they are depicted as being droopy, it means saggy breasts… but when a dude is just as droopy, it means a massively large member. This guy’s sweater could be misinterpreted as Frosty throwing up in the middle of a keg stand. If these two get close together does that put the sweater snowmen in a compromising 69 position?

It’s never a good idea to put your face on a shirt… let alone an ugly Christmas sweater. How are either of these octogenarians supposed to cheat on their spouse when they’re wearing each other’s faces!? I find it funny that the woman has the exact same smile in her sweater photo that she’s offering to the camera person here, too. If Mrs. Sip and I ever wear matching clothes, it’s time to consider a separation.

I’m not sure I’m a fan of the sleeveless look. No wait, I’m definitely not a fan of the sleeveless look. It’s not very functional either, as the moment you step outside into the frigid air, you’re going to be pretty damn cold! Sure, this guy has a lot of beef on him to help keep him warm, but I just don’t think it would be enough and perhaps that’s all for the best.

Drink #356: The North Pole

1.5 oz Grey Goose Cherry Noir
0.5 oz Peppermint Schnapps
Top with Milk
Squirt of Chocolate Syrup
Garnish with a Candy Cane

Always looking for a good laugh, I appreciate all these folk’s self-deprecating efforts. If you know of some even uglier Christmas sweaters, send them the Sip Advisor’s way and give me a good chuckle!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
My version of the cocktail didn’t turn out as dark as others I have seen online (I should have used a little more Chocolate Syrup), but it tasted decent and really, that’s the most important element of a cocktail. I’ve really enjoyed using all these Candy Canes in the various cocktails presented through the 25 Days of Christmas.

December 21 – Santa Shot

Posted on December 21, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Sweet Season

More candy goes through the Sip Advisor offices this time of the year than any other. It doesn’t help that I give Mrs. Sip an advent calendar treat every day leading up to Christmas and Ma and Pa Sip are quite generous with care packages and the like. While there may be too much to go around, it’s all appreciated and here are some of my favourites!

M&Ms

Whether the plain or peanut variety, it doesn’t take long for these Christmas candies to disappear from any bowl they’re poured into. What’s best about the M&Ms company is that they’re always experimenting with different adaptations of their popular product. This year, we’ve really enjoyed their Gingerbread limited release and they have also brought out Mint Chocolate and White Chocolate Peppermint varieties.

Yeah, fasting around Christmas is whack, yo!

Turtles

Mmmm, I love Turtles. While not being a fan of pecans on their own, there’s just something about these clustered treats that are so good. I blame the wonderfulness of caramel, which is such a delicious ingredient in any recipe it is featured. I’ve noticed this year that there are a couple new options in the Turtles line, including Pecan Praline and Pecan Fudge Brownie. Me thinks I should arrange a taste test with my fellow Turtles lovers!

Mini Eggs

While originally an Easter-only treat, Mini Eggs have migrated to the Christmas holiday, as well. Instead of coming in colours like yellow, blue, and pink, the palette has been changed to red and green, with both packs including white eggs. It’s extremely difficult to only pop one or two of these treats into your mouth. In the end, you’re more likely to have shoveled dozens of the eggs down your gullet like a slithering snake. At least us civilized folk don’t have to regurgitate the shells!

Candy Canes

How could one forget Candy Canes at this time of year? You don’t even have to settle for the mint-flavoured ones anymore, as the treats are available in nearly every flavour. I’m still waiting for Mrs. Sip to open the genital-shaped candy cane I bought her a couple Christmases ago as a gag gift (literally!?), although it has slowly disappeared in one of our cupboards, perhaps to never see the light of day ever again!

Chocolate Santa

For the homicidal maniac and cannibal in all of us, sometimes grabbing a massive chocolate Santa and taking his head off in one quick bite can be quite rewarding. I can’t decide if I prefer hollowed out Santa’s or the thicker full chocolate Santa’s which you can gnaw on for hours. The same principles apply to everything from chocolate snowmen to reindeer to trees and every other symbol of the holiday season.

Toblerone

A favourite of Pa Sip (and the Sip Advisor), I can still remember travelling through Switzerland and picking up Toblerone bars en masse whenever we had a chance over our two-day tour stop. Chocolate is something that actually helps you adjust to high altitudes, se we had a good excuse to indulge in the Swiss treat. I’ve always been curious about the massive Toblerone bars they sell at Christmas and how long it would take to vanquish it from existence!

Reese Products

The massive peanut butter cups that have been released the last couple years are crazy enormous. I like how the Reese company has partnered with the NHL to make their peanut butter cups resemble hockey pucks. If you’re looking for smaller doses of peanutty goodness, there are also peanut butter trees, bells, and even snowmen. With all those options, you’ll probably be sick of peanut butter by the end of the holidays!

Peppermint Bark

Mrs. Sip loves her Peppermint Bark. Myself, not as much as other options, but I do appreciate the stuff as a snacking option. Chocolate and mint make a pretty wicked pair and they seem to bring their collective A-game to the Christmas holidays. This is one of the few things on this list that you could actually make yourself, but why waste your time when there are so many quality products already out there and you don’t need to deal with all the fuss of doing it yourself.

Drink #355: Santa Shot

Rim glass with Crushed Candy Canes
0.5 oz Peppermint Schnapps
0.5 oz Crème de Menthe
0.5 oz Grenadine

What’s your favourite Christmas time candy? Make sure to send some my way, so we can experience all the joys of the holidays together… and then we can hit the gym in the New Year and work off all this treat goodness!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This shot can be found under other names (Candy Cane Shooter, etc.), but the recipe doesn’t change. It tells you to layer the ingredients in the following order: Grenadine, Crème de Menthe, Peppermint Schnapps for the desired layering effect. I found that the clear Peppermint Schnapps at the top of the shooter was too hard to really see, so I decided to blend the two mint ingredients for a better visual effect. The shot tastes pretty good, despite a fair dose of Grenadine.