November 16 – Scooby Snack

Posted on November 16, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Treat Time

Today, we take a look at fictional snacks in TV and movies… but not just any fictional snacks… no, fictional snacks that have since gone on to become real, buyable products. The world is truly a wonderful place!

Scooby Snacks – Scooby Doo

How someone turned a fictional puppy edible into fruit snacks and cookies geared towards kids is an act of pure genius. There are also dog treats that go by the same name, so be careful when buying the product for your young’uns. I have to say that I really hate the Scooby Snack song, as it plays in my head every time I think about Scooby Doo (which is far too often for a 30-year-old) and once again, the tune is stuck in my brain… must move on.

Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans – Harry Potter

When this company says they have “every” flavour, they mean it. The line includes tastes of earwax, rotten egg, vomit, dirt, and sausage mixed in with your normal fare: watermelon, cherry, blueberry, banana, and green apple. This listing kind of sounds like a Survivor Series wrestling match, with the five dastardly baddies taking on the good and pure for taste supremacy. I think you’d have to be a Harry Potter super fan to pick up a pack of these jelly beans.

Stay Puft Marshmallows – Ghostbusters

Most people think fondly of the iconic scene in Ghostbusters where the team of Peter Venkman, Ray Stantz, Egon Spengler and Winston Zeddemore battle the mammoth Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Their reward for protoning the literal tub of goo was to be covered with the white sticky substance (don’t get any ideas) he was made of. It’s too bad they didn’t next face a chocolate-based monster and finally a graham-cracker encrusted foe to complete the smores trio!

Cheesy Poofs – South Park

Eric Cartman’s favourite snack treat is an actual product, released to tie-in with the series’ 15th anniversary. While I’m not a fan of eating cheese, I have on occasion enjoyed cheese-powdered snacks like Doritos and Cheetos. The product, which is thought to have originated in Canada (according to the show) is so beloved by Cartman that he even auditioned to be the face of the advertising campaign, but had his song largely cut from commercials.

Willy Wonka Products – Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

This fine collection of Wonka products includes Gobstoppers, Nerds, Laffy Taffy, Pixy Stix, Fun Dip, Runts, Sweet Tarts, Shockers, and so much more. I keep hoping the company will eventually open a factory, complete with Oompa-Loompas, a chocolate river, and the chance to be taught a valuable lesson on how to behave! So long as they don’t include that trippy, psychedelic boat-trip tunnel scene that include some pretty haunting imagery.

Krusty-O’s – The Simpson

While this item could be considered part of a balanced breakfast, let’s be honest, it’s more frosted snack than healthy meal. Yes, the same cereal that gave away a jagged metal Krusty-O, which nearly killed Bart Simpson, was released to the public as part of a tie-in with The Simpsons Movie in 2007. 7-11 stores that were temporarily branded as Kwik-E-Marts to go along with the promotion were largely where the cereal could be located.

Drink #320: Scooby Snack

0.3 oz Coconut Rum
0.3 oz Crème de Banane
0.3 oz Midori
Splash of Pineapple Juice
Garnish with Whip Cream

Which fictional product would you love to be able to consume? For myself, I’d have to pick Sweetums NutriYums (Parks and Recreation), Smurfberries (The Smurfs), and Cornballs (Arrested Development). Put them together and you’ll have yourself one hell of a feast!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (5 Sips out of 5):
Wow… that’s all I can really say about this shot. It is the first shooter to receive a 5-Sip rating and it’s hard to really describe how good it is. First, you’re hit with the Whip Cream, before the Crème de Banane, Melon Liqueur, Coconut Rum, and Pineapple Juice come in the finish the flavour party. It all goes down so smooth and tastes so delicious. There are four variations of the Scooby Snack, but each follows a general pattern. I’ve provided the recipe for the original. Now I understand why Scooby was so willing to put himself in danger after a little treat!

November 9 – Mind Eraser

Posted on November 9, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Blackouts: Good or Bad?

Today, the Sip Advisor puts aside all the jokes and funny pictures and gets serious, examining one of the greatest issues facing the drinking world: blackouts.

Sorry, blacked out about being all serious and stuff!

In the interest of full disclosure, I have to admit that I am prone to the odd moment of blacking out when on a really heavy drinking bender. Most of Sip Nation jokes about missing scenes and not remembering what we did the night before. Some of these blackouts have been the cause for great stories and laughs later, but they can also be a little scary.

I know the day after one of these moments, I can feel a little off. I’m not sure if it’s from embarrassment over forgetting what happened or the brain having to reboot.

The Disney theme parks have been home to two of my most infamous blackouts. I detailed the first for the Hidden Mickey original recipe and in that post, I promised to share the details of Mrs. Sip and my country crawl at Disneyworld: Epcot, during our honeymoon. Well, little sippers, pack your bags and prepare for another adventure:

Our cruise ship (18-day Panama Canal route) arrived in Ft. Lauderdale, Fla. at 7am to end that leg of our journey and we were two of the first people off the ship, quickly catching a cab to the airport to grab a rental car, before making the three-hour drive to Lake Buena Vista and the last couple days of our vacation at the Florida theme parks.

While Mrs. Sip enjoyed a little nap, I drove furiously (is there any other way), with the goal of being in the park for 1pm. We arrived at our hotel, checked in, bought our tickets, and hopped on the shuttle to the park, making it into Epcot for just slightly after our target.

We had always hoped to do the Epcot country crawl of enjoying a drink in each showcase and this was our opportunity. We also visited during the park’s Food and Wine Festival, providing ample opportunity to make our dreams a reality. After a wonderful Mexican lunch outside that country’s pavilion, we grabbed our first beers of the day (each ordering a sampler, which contained four half glasses of various styles).

As we started to work our way through the brew, we looked at each other and neither of us was really feeling up to party. We had drank pretty heavily the night before, given it was the final night of our cruise and we had some stock to finish. We chatted about just taking it easy and enjoying the country showcases, perhaps returning to the country crawl idea later in the day… then fate intervened.

Out of nowhere, we started chatting with two brothers and their female friend from Philadelphia. They too were enjoying a beer sampler each, but seemed to be a little deeper into the drinking than we were. Once they heard it was our honeymoon, they decided to crash it and join us for a little bit, frequently announcing to the massive crowd that we were honeymooners.

Mrs. Sip and I played along and decided we’d hang out with these strangers for a little bit before splitting off and doing our own thing. We ended up spending the rest of the day with them, stopping off at each pavilion for drinks, food, and laughs. The two guys were great at poking fun at other guests (isn’t people watching awesome!) and drawing fellow drinkers into our circle. We even left the park briefly to meet their parents.

This is such an awesome idea… next time!

Given it was our honeymoon, they were also quite generous in buying Mrs. Sip and I a couple drinks and the last thing I remember from the park was downing Irish Car Bombs in the United Kingdom showcase pub. From that point on, things are a little fuzzy and even fuzzier as I write this one year later.

Ever the gentleman, I do remember making sure Mrs. Sip got a seat on the packed shuttle bus we boarded, while I swayed back and forth in the aisle. The rest of the night disappears into a black hole from that point on.

The next day I awoke to stories that Mrs. Sip had ordered late night cheese bread (a staple of her drinking diet) from Domino’s and that I had insisted on ordering a pizza to go along with it. After eating one slice, I reportedly passed out and was dead to the world until morning.

We visited the Universal Studios parks the next day (by the way, those attractions are not to be missed) and I was thankful I had driven and wouldn’t be inclined to drink. I did have a beer or two over the day, always quick to hop back on the trolley, but was definitely in recovery mode, as my frontal lobe tried to mend itself.

So, blackouts: good or bad? Wait, what was the question?

Drink #313: Mind Eraser

0.5 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Kahlua
Splash of Club Soda
Garnish with Lime Wedge

What is your opinion on the ominous blackout? Is it something to be enjoyed and marveled at? Or is it something to be feared and avoided at all costs? I await your replies!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
This shot was a pleasant surprise. I’m usually not enthralled by Coffee Liqueurs, but there was something about this recipe that made me forget all about my hate for java. Perhaps it was my inclusion of Smores Vodka that made this shooter so palatable. I even made myself a second round of the shot to enjoy it again!

November 2 – Porn Star

Posted on November 2, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Curiousity Killed the Pervert

I’m a curious person and as a curious person, I do a lot of thinking. In line with today’s shot, these are questions I have come up with for the porn industry!:

Good lord, Mrs. Sip would be Seductive Teaser… how incredibly accurate!

1) Can you do a threesome in the shower?

I just think that the risk-reward quotient and the dangers of tub slippage would prevent such scenarios. Heck, most showers don’t even fit TWO people comfortably, let alone three and you have to imagine that producers are searching for the cheapest option possible, which precludes mansions and their expansive bathing spaces.

2) Do porn stars get danger pay?

On the subject of dangerous situations, I wonder if performers receive some sort of additional pay in line with the added risks they take on a daily basis. For example, the larger the object used, the grungier the location filmed in… how about the more the merrier with each person added to a scene? The cash could add up pretty quickly if this is the case.

3) Are tramp stamps industry identification tags?

It seems like you can’t get through a single scene without seeing at least one tramp stamp… multiple lower back tattoos if you’ve picked a really good movie! Is this like how puppies and kitties get tattooed on the inside of their ear in case they go missing? Can stars be tracked for research purposes and have their stats recorded for prosperity?

4) Will their every be a porno filmed in anti-gravity?

I’m not sure how much money has to be shelled out for someone to rent out an anti-gravity simulator, but you have to think that any erotic movie filmed in a setting like this would make that money back in spades. Thinking of this scenario has got a million procedural questions circling in my mind, but perhaps I should stop while I’m ahead, as thus far, I’ve been able to write an entire post about adult films and not delve into too controversial territory.

Drink #306: Porn Star

0.75 oz Blue Curacao
0.75 oz Raspberry Vodka/Liqueur
Dash of Milk
Garnish with Maraschino Cherry

I gotta say that the research for this post was probably the most fun I’ve had to do for this site. Do you have any questions you’d like me to forward to the adult industry?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This classic shot recipe had to be done at some point in this project. Most recipes don’t include the dash of Milk, but I thought that was a hilarious addition to the shooter. It was my choice to garnish the shot with a Maraschino Cherry and I’ll let your imaginations figure that one out. I can’t say a bad thing about the liquors used in this shooter and everything comes together in a nice, neat package (get it!).

October 26 – Bazooka Joe

Posted on October 26, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Tales from the Candy-keeper

There are numerous urban legends based on candy. Here are some of the juicier tales out there:

Recharge on Mars

Rockers sure know how to party. That’s why this legend involving Rolling Stones front man Mick Jagger, singer Marianne Faithfull, and a Mars chocolate bar persisted for so long. When a party at guitarist Keith Richards’ home was broken up by police, rumours began flying that Jagger was interrupted while eating a Mars bar that was inside Ms. Faithfull (I’ll let your imaginations put that one together). The story was entirely untrue, but I bet Mars bar sales skyrocketed, with deprived lovers looking to spice up their sex life!

You’re right, Mick! It is a pretty funny story!

Pop Rock N’ Roll

As the story goes, if you mix Pop Rocks with Cola, this diabolic concoction would cause you to explode. The legend was enhanced when people claimed that Mikey, the Life Cereal ad campaign kid (you know, “Hey, Mikey likes it!”) was an original victim of the blast. A similar tale has recently surrounded Mentos and Cola, because the two products do combine to create fizz and can launch a bottle into orbit. The cute Pepsi girl of the 90’s was said to be a casualty. In both cases, no one has actually died from ingesting the two items together.

Hole-in-One

Creator Clarence Crane was said to have designed Life Savers with a hold in the middle after his daughter tragically died choking on a candy. The hole was to allow oxygen to pass through a person’s body, even if stuck in one’s throat. The reality, however, is quite a bit different. Crane fashioned his new invention after the floatable inner tubes that were becoming all the rage following the Titanic disaster in 1912.

All Wrapped Up

Legend had it, that if you found an image of Indian, complete with bow and arrow, on your Tootsie Roll or Pop wrapper, you would be the recipient of any number of prizes, ranging from Tootsie treats for life to a new bicycle to unimaginable wealth and celebrity (I added that last one myself!). I would have loved to have found that Indian, as I very much enjoy the Tootsie products. Sadly, the story is completely fabricated.

Jaw Dropper

It’s hard to believe this one is actually true, but it has been verified by the fine folks at MythBusters. If you place one of those massive jawbreakers in the microwave it will explode. Why someone would ever put a jawbreaker into the microwave is a yet-to-be answered question, but here’s my theory: why not. Those jawbreakers are a pain in the ass (or more aptly, mouth) to get through and perhaps someone tried to accelerate the process.

Spider Yum

When Bubble Yum gum hit the market and became quite popular, stories began to circulate that the gum contained such grossities as spider eggs, spider legs, or spider webbing. These were all probably started by a rival gum company in hopes of curtailing the popularity of the world’s first soft gum. Bubble Yum’s parent company fought these rumours publicly with full-page newspaper ads ensuring people of the quality of their product. Most people actually listened and Bubble Yum lived on.

Razor’s Edge

Remember when we were all wee little sippers and when we returned home our parents sifted through our well-earned Halloween stash (probably contemplating which treats they’d take for themselves) to make sure there was no evidence of tampering? Good thing they did. In 2000, James Joseph Smith stuck needles into Snickers bars he planned to hand out and one boy bit into the chocolate bar. Smith was arrested and charged with adulterating a substance with the intent to cause harm… asshole!

Pick Your Poison

Similarly, the threat of poisoned candy given out at Halloween has always existed, but the only evidence of this occurring happened when some sick bastards poisoned their own children, including one loser who laced his kid’s Pixy Stix with cyanide to collect a $20,000 life insurance policy. Most cases were just overeating by the public (no surprise there) and not waiting to hear the actual results of why someone became sick.

Drink #299: Bazooka Joe

Rim glass with Bubble Gum
0.5 oz Irish Crème
0.5 oz Banana Liqueur
0.5 oz Blue Curacao

Are there any candy urban legends you’d like to pass my way? I’m a skeptical one, but I’ll give it a chance!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I liked this shooter and always have. Truth be known, when I was taken out on my 19th birthday for my first legal drinks, this was the first shot that was ever ordered for me. I still marvel at how these three ingredients combine to fake the taste of bubble gum, but somehow it all comes together.

October 19 – Zombie Guts

Posted on October 19, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Brrraaaiiinnnsss

While zombies are meant to be scary and ignite fear within viewers of undead material, sometimes the genre can be flipped upside down and be used to portray romantic and comedic stories. Here are some flicks that eschew the typical Zombie story:

Warm Bodies (2013)

What happens when a zombie falls in love with a woman and feelings begin to return to an undead being? This is the question that Warm Bodies looks to answer. The zombie, known only as R spots Julie and is attracted to her. Having just killed her boyfriend and kidnapped her, he tries to make amends and the two slowly grow close. I loved Rob Corddry in this movie as fellow zombie M. His presumed best friend relationship with R is done quite well, given they’re non-communicative zombies.

A Little Bit Zombie (2012)

Steve, a mild-mannered HR manager is bitten by a zombie mosquito and therefore, he’s only “a little bit zombie”. Complicating matters is Steve’s wife-to-be, who’s gone all bridezilla on their upcoming wedding. That’s a pretty funny premise to me and although it’s not the greatest movie out there, it is a unique twist on the zombie film.

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

According to Shaun, the safest place to take refuge in the middle of a zombie uprising is at the local watering hole. So, Shaun and pal, Ed, are charged with rounding up Shaun’s mom and girlfriend in an attempt to make it to the shelter of the Winchester Pub. After all, that’s where drinks, food, and good times can be had. This film launched the careers of Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, and others and is the first of the Three Flavours of Cornetto Trilogy (Hot Fuzz and The World’s End being the other offerings).

Army of Darkness (1992)

Ash Williams (Bruce Campbell) is back to fight the undead and this time, he’s got a boomstick (a shotgun) and chainsaw (affixed to his arm, of course) to keep him company. The third and final film in The Evil Dead franchise (as of now) is a cult favourite for its catchphrases, humour and cheesiness. There are plans for an Army of Darkness 2 to be released sometime in the future, with Campbell returning to his titular role of Ash.

Dead Alive aka Braindead (1992)

Directed by Peter Jackson (yes, the same Peter Jackson that has since gone on to make the Lord of the Rings and Hobbit trilogies), this zombie outbreak is caused by the dreaded ‘Sumatran Rat-Monkey’, which infects the mother of Lionel Cosgrove. Cosgrove now must care for his undead mother, while fending off his uncle who wants the family estate. The flick is full of wonderful gore, so much so that the uncut version is still banned in Germany.

Zombieland (2009)

The best part of Zombieland is the “rules” the viewer learns along the way, as Columbus, Tallahassee, Wichita, and Little Rock pursue freedom, Twinkies, and the Pacific Playland amusement park. It all leads to a final showdown between the weary survivors and the deadly zombies at the theme park, where creative kills come in spades. Although there was talk of a sequel and even a TV series, neither came to fruition, although a pilot was filmed in 2013 with the series later being rejected.

Drink #292: Zombie Guts

0.75 oz Vodka (I used Pinnacle Strawberry-Kiwi)
0.5 oz Bailey’s Irish Crème
Splash of Lime Juice
Dash of Grenadine
Garnish with a Candy Finger

Which movies would you suggest to the Sip Advisor to get his zombie viewing on? That way I can be as brainless as the undead beings I’m watching!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This is quite the process to make this shooter. Mix the Vodka and Lime Juice together before straining into a shot glass. Then, add drips of Irish Crème, which will curdle thanks to the Lime Juice and form the basis of the guts. Finally, add a couple drips of Grenadine for the bleeding effect. That’s what’s supposed to happen, but as you can see above, I had no such artistic luck. Still, things turned out okay and throw in a Candy Finger to complete the project.

October 12 – Churros

Posted on October 12, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Donuts Around the World

We all know your typical donut offerings: your rounds, jelly-filled, long johns, etc., but the world is in fact full of variations on the classic pastry. I know what you’re saying “There can’t seriously be that many different styles of donuts!” If that’s your opinion, stand back and prepare to be amazed (as you usually are) by the Sip Advisor’s investigative skills… ahem, and a quick shout out to Wikipedia!

Churro (Mexico) – Every time Mrs. Sip and I are in Disneyland we have to share at least one churro. While you might shell out $3-$5 for a single churro at the fair or amusement park, in Mexico, we picked up an entire bag of the cinnamon sugar-laced dessert sticks for about the same price.

Beaver Tail (Canada) – Once again, Canada puts itself on the map with culinary items that come the closest to sexual innuendos! The Beaver Tail, in this case, is actually a flat, rounded donut that you can layer various toppings onto. A company has grown out of this invention and offers some great options.

Timbits (Canada) – One of the country’s most popular dessert offerings is the Timbit (known is other locales as a donut hole), which allows snackers to still have some doughy goodness, but not be forced to inhale an entire donut. My favourite Timbit is undoubtedly the chocolate glazed offering.

Fritter (Various) – A fritter basically means (according to my research) and mass of dough that can be stuffed with any substance. That’s not the technical definition, but I think you get the point. Fritters can be stuffed with everything from meat to seafood to fruit.

Cruller (Europe) – While popular in the United States and Canada, crullers originated in Europe and their name is derived from the Dutch word cruller, which means “to curl”. These twisted donuts can come in round or stick form.

Ngàuhleisōu (China) – Otherwise known as Ox-Tongue Pastry or Horse-Ear Pastry, these flattened discs are probably more appetizing than they sound. The Ngàuhleisōu can be filled or topped with either sweet or savory filling. Given it’s China, who knows what could be in the donut!

Loukoumas (Greece) – The figure eight of the donut world! I believe Mrs. Sip and I tried one of these bad boys when we visited Greece in 2007… you know, before the country went down the crapper.

Beignets (France) – Similar to a fritter, this French treat is quite popular in Louisiana, where the Creole lifestyle has kept many Parisian traditions alive and well. Mrs. Sip enjoyed beignets when she was in New Orleans recently. The donuts are often topped with piles of powdered sugar and can also feature jams and sauces.

Berliner (Germany) – Filled with various jams, these are the original jelly donuts. Apparently, it’s a common practical joke for berliners packed with mustard to be placed among normal jam-filled berliners, waiting for a victim to take a bite. Oh, those crazy Krauts!

Taiyaki (Japan) – Why not follow your sushi with these fish-shaped donuts. This dessert is more similar to a pancake or waffle in batter style and can be filled with anything, including custard, chocolate, cheese, gyoza, or sausage.

Bear Claw (United States) – Traditional bear claws are commonly made with almond paste and raisins. Since nobody likes things to just be ‘traditional’ anymore, bear claws now also come in apple pie, butter pecan, cream cheese, and various fruit stylings.

Funnel Cake (United States) – Mmmm, I love having funnel cake at American amusement parks. The only thing you have to watch out for is getting powdered sugar all over yourself. Like eating lobster, funnel cakes should come with their own bibs!

Elephant Ears (United States) – Colloquially known as a palmier, the elephant ear is a puff pastry which uses dough similar to a croissant. I only wish poachers would spend their time baking these treats rather than killing elephants for their tusks.

Angel Wings (Poland) – These sweet and crispy pastries are enjoyed throughout Europe. A tradition exists of husbands giving angel wings to their wives on Friday the 13th to stave off bad luck… sadly, most of those women snub the snack in favour of negative mojo because they’re counting their calories.

Éclair (France) – The custard-filled, icing-covered pastry is a French delicacy, but not being a huge fan of custard, I think I’d rather just have a Long John!

Drink #285: Churros (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

Rim glass with Cinnamon Sugar
0.75 oz Glazed Donut Liqueur
0.75 oz Goldschlager
Garnish with a Donut Hole

Every time I think I can’t come up with another article about donuts, in order to support my recipes featuring the Glazed Donut Liqueur, I go and amaze myself with the method and madness my brain is capable of. Next up: the Jelly Donut shooter and post. Let the brainstorming begin!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I originally made this shot, on a whim, for Mrs. Sip and myself. When it passed the taste test, I knew it was eventually going up on the site. The ingredients do emulate a Churro or other cinnamon sugar-based donut and the garnish was a nice little treat to chase the shooter.

October 5 – Kinky Tease

Posted on October 5, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Fetish Frenzy

There’s some weird stuff going on out there in love land… but weird can be good. Everyone has their own thing that gets their motor running and who am I to judge. That said, here are some of the odd fetishes in this mad, mad world!

Nyotaimori – The Japanese tradition of eating sushi off a naked person platter. Thankfully it is usually done on a woman’s body, because I can just see so many close calls when someone is looking for that tuna or salmon nigiri and grabs the wrong piece.

Oh good, you can do it in couples… I hope Mrs. Sip is as interested in being a sushi tray as I am!

Plushophilia – More commonly known as Furries, these folks get their mojo rising when people dress up as animals, preferably of the stuffed variety. I have to ask, do they then strip out of the outfits to get to each other’s fun bits… or would that just ruin the illusion!?

Cosplay – Ever wanted to get with a superhero or your favourite TV or movie character (even if it’s an animated one)? Here’s your chance you crazy pervert (just kidding – remember, no judging)… and you don’t even have to attend Comic-Con!

Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation – Sadly, you hear more about this fetish when people die from it, than from enjoying it. Actor David Carradine and musician Michael Hutchence are the most notable to die from the act and the entire list is full of dudes, proving women aren’t stupid enough to mix sex and death.

Tentacle Erotica – We travel back to Japan for another crazy adult love aid. Apparently tentacle porn was largely born out of censorship of the penis. So, being the industrious folks they are, the Japanese simply had tentacles penetrate a character and that was okay with everyone.

Spectrophilia – I ain’t ‘fraid of no ghosts… but that doesn’t mean they turn me on either. And how would one go about making love to a ghost? Oh, it can also include arousal to images in mirrors… well, that seems a lot more feasible.

Phalloorchoalgolagnia – Say that three times fast! This is one that will make every dude out there squirm, wince, shudder, and perhaps even feel faint or vomitous. It is taking pleasure from the pain involved in male genital abuse. Pain does equal pleasure for some folks, but not the Sip Advisor. I’m a lover, not a fighter!

Drink #278: Kinky Tease (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

0.75 oz Kinky Liqueur
0.75 oz Pomegranate Liqueur
Garnish with an Orange Wedge

There are so many other perversions out there, but I just can’t tackle them all. I don’t want to get too personal, but what gets you in the mood? If it’s funny and makes me laugh, you’ll hit my trigger!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
This is a near-perfect shot. The Kinky and Pomegranate Liqueurs are so good by themselves, so when you put them together it can go one of two ways: it can absolutely suck or it can be amazingly awesome. Thankfully, this went in the latter direction, giving Mrs. Sip and I a perfect libation for getting down and dirty!

September 28 – Das Boot

Posted on September 28, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Festival Follies

Today marks the beginning of Oktoberfest, causing drinkers everywhere to rejoice in an orgy of beer bashing and mischievous good times. While Germany is home to this fiesta, the festival is celebrated the world over… well, maybe not in those loser countries where the people don’t drink… did I mention how loser that is? I would love to celebrate a true Oktoberfest sometime in my life. Here are some other festivals that top my list of must-dos:

La Tomatina – Spain

Throwing tomatoes at a bunch of strangers… count me in! I wonder how many people end up with seed-related injuries as a result of La Tomatina. Similarly, Spain also has the Grape Throwing Festival, while Italy is home to the Battle of the Oranges. What is with Europeans and wanting to throw food at each other… starving folks around the world must be pissed about this!

Holi Festival – India

While I really don’t want to ever go to India, the country’s Holi Festival looks really neat. On the plus side, many areas around the world have ripped off the event and I might not need to ever go to India. Basically anywhere you can find people throwing coloured dust at each other will get the job done. The Color Me Rad event takes place around the world, but includes a 5km run (which you have to pay for!), so eff that!

Calgary Stampede

There’s that Canadian content again! I would love to attend this cowboy and cowgirl dream sometime and it wouldn’t be too hard, given my proximity to Calgary and having a few friends based there. From what I’ve heard, the partying is crazy and there are free pancake breakfasts each morning to help you sober up and get ready for another day of tight jeans, plaid shirts, ten gallon hats and leather boots. Yeehaw!

That’s my type of gunslinger!

Dia de los Muertos – Mexico

Otherwise known as Day of the Dead, this Mexican event puts Halloween celebrations to shame. If you’ve never seen a graveyard in Mexico that is a sight everyone needs to behold at some point in their life. Mexicans honour their deceased family and friends with decorative grave sites, which they maintain with great regularity. All the candles and embellishments are quite impressive.

Carnival/Mardi Gras – Brazil/New Orleans

So long as you don’t get robbed, beaten, sexually assaulted, or murdered, then this would be a fun time. Regardless of where you celebrate it, you’re sure to see a horde of beautiful women, from Brazil’s butt shakin’ beauties to all the tourists who take their game to New Orleans and drunkenly expose their naughty bits in exchange for beads and other trinkets.

Pingxi Lantern Festival/Obon Festival – Taiwan/Japan

These two festivals involve lighting lanterns and releasing them with the Pingxi Lantern Festival finishing with lanterns being released into the sky, while the Obon Festival ends with lanterns being let loose to float away in the water. The whole concept was used in Disney’s Tangled and was one of the most beautiful scenes I’ve ever witnessed in 3-D.

Songkran Water Festival – Thailand

I’m a huge fan of getting wet (take that as you may!) and any event that supports the worship of water is fine in my books. The Thai celebrate by soaking each other with all available items from buckets to squirt guns to hoses. My weapon of choice would be water ballons because then you also get that wonderful splat sound when you hit your target!

San Fermin Festiva – Spain

Known worldwide thanks to its main event of the Running of the Bulls, I don’t really need to attend for much else. Just let those suckers loose, get out of my way so I can have a little run before finding safety and it’s on to the next thrill. Who doesn’t want to risk getting gored into oblivion by a 2,000-pound beast? Surprisingly, only 15 people have died since 1910, as a result of the running.

Pride Festival – Worldwide

Mrs. Sip and I have yet to attend a Pride Festival, despite living in a part of the world that has a thriving LGBT community. The issue is that we’re always away over the August long weekend (usually in remote areas) and not around to partake in celebrations. We will have to rectify this if we ever have a free long weekend in the future.

Monkey Buffet Festival – Thailand

Feeding monkeys and partying… that’s an easy sell for the Sip Advisor! Even after I was attacked by monkeys in Indonesia, I still love the little bastards. One can only hope that after feeding them, they will hang around long enough to share a drink with the ol’ Sip Advisor and then we can become true bros complete with swapping e-mail addresses and friendship bracelets.

Oktoberfest – Germany

The Sip Advisor has a decent amount of family living throughout Germany, so this is another festival that could be enjoyed legitimately with little trouble. Every time Mrs. Sip or I are in the country, it’s a boozefest, so why not combine the greatest beer festival known to man in our travels and visitations. At least we honour this tradition at home when we can’t make it to Munich, in person.

Drink #271: Das Boot (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

0.75 oz Jagermeister
0.75 oz Sand Berry Liqueur
Garnish with an Orange Slice

I’ve already experienced St. Patrick’s Day in Dublin, so I left that off the list and it’s a good thing too. If I want to hit all of these events, it looks like I’m going to have a pretty busy calendar!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I had originally wanted to use a Strawberry Liqueur Mrs. Sip and I picked up in Germany for this shot, but when I popped open the bottle, the liquid had solidified. I was able to get some out, but not knowing the status of it, I decided to err on the side of caution and toss the stuff in favour of Sand Berry Liqueur, also found in Germany. My boot shot glass really came in handy for this recipe!

September 21 – What’s My Name Again?

Posted on September 21, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

30 for 30

While the title of today’s post is shared by the popular ESPN sports documentary series, I’m using it to describe 30 great achievements of my 30 years on this planet. This is kind of my bucket list of crossed off items… mission accomplished!

Family and Friends

1: Got Engaged – I’m still surprised she said yes!

2: Got Married – Again, I’m still surprised she said yes… I gave her a year and a half to change her mind!

3: Was a Best Man – Broski Sip got married in 2010 with me by his side.

4: Planned a Stag Party – Nothing says “I love you, man” than planning the perfect sendoff as your buddy enters married life.

Rites of Passage

5: Earned a Driver’s License – Been on the roads for 14 years now… Mrs. Sip still doesn’t have a full license!

6: Graduated High School – Some people didn’t see that coming!

7: Earned 4 Diplomas/Degrees/Certificates – I have quite the resume… anyone looking to hire!?

8: No More Picky Eater – Chicken strips and fries are pretty awesome, but lobster and escargot are better.

9: Moved Out – It was hard to leave the amazing home of Ma and Pa Sip, but living with Mrs. Sip has its own benefits!

Travel

10: Travelled to 34 Countries – Mrs. Sip will hit 50 countries before she turns 30, but I think I still made a pretty damn good dent.

11: Stepped foot on 6 Continents – I’m only missing Antarctica, which we hope to get to one day.

12: Lived Abroad – Spent six months living in England and travelling Europe.

13: Visited the Greatest Cities in the World – From London to St. Petersburg, Sydney to Los Angeles, the resume isn’t full yet, but I’ve been to so many cool places.

Academics

14: Made the Honour Roll – Got my shit together one year and made the honour roll twice… it never happened again.

15: Graduated with Honours – Always knew journalism and I were a match made in heaven!

Professional

16: Became Published – My first article ever (aside from online and school writing) was for B.C. Hockey Now.

17: Covered the Vancouver Canucks (NHL) and B.C. Lions (CFL) – The two biggest sports franchises in Vancouver and I got to watch both for free!

18: Worked the 2010 Winter Olympics – NBC Universal Sports hired me for the Games, a goal of mine when I first entered journalism school.

19: Made Money Doing What I Love – Watching sports for a job just doesn’t get much better… perhaps getting paid to have sex!?

20: Started The Sip Advisor – I was thirsty (literally!) for a new project when Mrs. Sip suggested The Sip Advisor. Here we are and I’m pretty sure everyone is having a good time!

Adventure/Crazy

21: Tried a Number of Extreme Sports – Bungy jumping, ziplining, zorbing, luging, surfing, scuba diving… I’ve tried them all!

22: Saw my Favourite Comedians Perform – From Christopher Titus to Daniel Tosh, I’ve seen all of the living comedians I ever wanted to.

23: Won Money in Las Vegas – I’m too cautious to lose or win a lot of money, but I did come home up on one trip and that’s more than a lot of people can say.

24: Won Money at the Races – My last trip to Fraser Downs resulted in six winning bets on nine races, including picking three winners straight up!

25: Hosted an Annual Event – My annual Beer Pong tournament is a highlight of the summer social calendar.

26: Invented a Word – Walk Blocking – like cock blocking, but everyone can do it!

27: Became an Internet Sensation – And the journey has only just begun!

28: Swam Across a Body of Water – I joined Mrs. Sip for a crossing of the water outside our lodge in Indian Arm, B.C. It took us 45 minutes round trip to make the journey.

29: Shot a Gun – Cousin Sip and I hit one of the many ranges in Las Vegas to help cross this off the list.

30: Sang Karaoke – Not well, but Mrs. Sip and I do perform a rocking version of ‘I Hate Everything About You’!

Drink #264: What’s My Name Again?

0.3 oz Spiced Rum (I used Kraken)
0.3 oz Southern Comfort
0.3 oz Peach Schnapps
0.3 oz Goldschlager
0.3 oz Vodka
Garnish with a Lemon Slice

There are still so many things left to do (get a tattoo, touch a snake, go skydiving, drink motor oil!) that the next 30 years should be just as adventurous as the first 30. Any suggestions!?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This shot finishes Rum Week and the story goes that if you have enough of these, you’ll forget your own name! While it is a rather potent shooter, it’s also very tasty, helped along by the Peach Schnapps, Southern Comfort, and Goldschlager. I’ll have to try their little dare sometime and see how long it takes for the ol’ mind to go blank! Let’s drink to my successes and excesses!

September 14 – Rainbow Cookie

Posted on September 14, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Milk & Cookies

I am a recovering cookie monster. I still love to stuff my face full of these delicious treats, but as I move towards a healthier lifestyle and hope my body continues to hold up (I am nearing my dirty 30), I’ve drastically decreased my treat intake. That said, it’s nice to reminisce about my favourite confectionary goodies!

Minnie’s Bake Shop Cookies

No trip to the Disney parks is complete without stocking up on these delicious cookies. Mrs. Sip and I share one nearly every day we’re in the park and have been known to buy a bag full of them when we know we won’t be back for some time. If we’re ever asked by a friend or family member if they can get anything for us while they’re on a Disney vacation, we instantly answer: “COOKIES!” Our favourite is the White Chocolate Chip variety, but all of the options are top notch.

Ma Sip’s Cookies

I was raised on wonderful chocolate chip cookies and as I grew older, Ma Sip’s array of baked good treasures only expanded. I’ve enjoyed cookies with peanut butter, caramel chunks, shortbread (a Christmas tradition that’s good to celebrate all year round), and many others. Outside the realm of cookies, Ma Sip has a reputation for making other scrumptious desserts like Black Magic Cupcakes, Seven-Layer Bars, and even Chocolate Chip Banana Bread!

Tim Tams

This wicked treat, which Mrs. Sip and I first experienced in Australia, comes in a ton of styles, with my favourites being the caramel and strawberry brands. Only a couple flavours have made their way to Canada, which leaves us longing for the selection found down under. You can even do a Tim Tam Slam, which involves drinking a warm beverage like coffee, tea, or hot chocolate through the cookie as if it were a straw.

Oreos

Oreos are so classic that they just had to make my list. I like that the company is always experimenting with new limited release flavours… and there have been some doozies!: Candy Corn, Gingerbread, Cool Mint, Strawberry Milkshake, and too many others to name. I remember when eating Oreos as a youngster that it was always fun to go straight for the cream and finished the cookies separately. Playing with my food has always been a favourite pastime.

Girl Guide Cookies

I’m not a huge fan of the thin mint cookies the Girl Guides (Scouts in the U.S.) mistakenly peddle, but if you bring around a box of the classic vanilla and chocolate crème Girl Guide cookies, you just might see that box disappear quickly. I like alternating between the chocolate and vanilla or for extreme thrills, combining the two into one epic cookie sandwich! Money spent on the cookies goes towards supporting the Girl Guides program (from which Mrs. Sip was once a member), so I’m down with that, too.

Cookies &

These were awesome cookie bars that mixed a cookie crunch with popular chocolate bars. I remember there being Twix, Mars, Snickers, Milky Way, and M&M varieties. Sadly, the products have been discontinued, which is a real shame, because I would love to go back and revisit the snacks. This was another item that could only be found in the United States, leaving us Canadian fans in a lurch. It was also distributed in the U.K. as Biscuits &.

Schoolboy

There’s just something about having a slab of milk (or dark) chocolate on top of a biscuit that is so delicious. My money is on the biscuit part, but others tell me I’m crazy and it’s the chocolate. While the name and images on the cookie can get a little creepy and perhaps these are the preferred cookie snack of pedophiles around the world, once you get your mind past that issue, all that’s left is treat enjoyment.

Rainbow Chips Ahoy

The cookie that inspired this shot is a wonderful entry, which is best enjoyed with a quick dunk into a cold glass of milk and then gobbled down with complete disregard to etiquette, cleanliness, and the genocide of cookies everywhere. I enjoy most of the Chips Ahoy products, particularly their Chewy and Chunky varietals. Is it just me, or do all the tastiest words start with ‘Ch’!? Chewy, Chunky, Chocolate, Chips, Cheese… oh, just went and ruined my own theory!

Drink #257: Rainbow Cookie

0.5 oz Amaretto
0.5 oz Chambord
0.5 oz Crème de Cacao
Serve with a Cookie Accompaniment

How have I grossly injustice you by not including your favourite cookie treat? Come on, suckas, give me hell… and in return, I’ll tell you exactly why your precious, beloved snack just didn’t make the cut!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I was curious as to how the shooter would hold up to the cookie of the same name. This shooter gave me a good excuse to crack open our new bottle of Chambord, which provided the primary taste for the shot. The Crème de Cacao and Amaretto offer hints of flavour in the finish, but the Chambord is really what you notice. The cookie chaser was a nice touch, of course!

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

Category Archives: Shots & Shooters