About Daniel Wilson

I love making drinks for my friends and family, and, of course, sampling my concoctions myself! Finding and playing around with recipes is a favourite past time of mine and I hope to share that passion with all my readers.

April 18 – Golden Cadillac

Posted on April 18, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Carmageddon

I’ve never been a big car nut. Hell, the instant someone starts talking to me about engines, makes and models, or brake pads in need of replacement… well, that’s when the ol’ mind drifts more than a suped-up Tokyo racer. That said, there are a number of vehicles I wouldn’t mind taking a spin in. Drivers, start your engines!

Mystery Machine – Scooby-Doo

Granted, today it looks more like a van where either smokeouts or rapes would occur, but the Mystery Machine is a pretty fine vehicle. I could join the entire gang as we traipse across the world and solve mysteries, getting paid with food and lodging. I would certainly rival Freddy for best ascot and perhaps Shaggy and Scooby could teach me how to stuff an entire 40-layer sandwich into my mouth in one gulp.

Pope-mobile

My only wish for riding in the Pope-mobile is that someone would make an assassination attempt on my life and then I could laugh at them through the bulletproof glass. Why someone would have a beef with The Sip Advisor will forever be an unsolved mystery. Perhaps they are a time traveler from the Prohibition Era and they realize I am the reason the whole concept never worked out. Bring it on, you anti-alcoholite.

Batmobile – Batman

I don’t know what would be more exciting: riding in the Batmobile with Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson, or getting access to the super-secret Batcave. If those bastards blindfold me before taking me there (and it’s not for anything kinky), I will be super pissed. The second we spot that bat signal, we roll and I only pray that the villain for our selected adventure is one of the hotties, like Catwoman, Poison Ivy or Harley Quinn!

General Lee – Dukes of Hazzard

Really the only thing anyone wants to do in the General Lee is slide through the open window into a seat and go off some crazy dirt road jump. Aside from that, who would ever want to live in Hazzard County with the nefarious Boss Hogg and his lackey Rosco P. Coltrane? Unless you’re looking to settle down with Daisy Duke and get her out of those cutoffs, then it’s just not worth the hassle.

DeLorean – Back to the Future

Doc Brown, Marty McFly, and I would have made an amazing trio, revving up to 88 miles per hour and seeing where the DeLorean takes us for our next adventure. It would be a foregone conclusion that I would somehow find a way to make myself never born. I feel that would make me invisible and that way I could go around and spy on Mrs. Sip undetected. I could then perform hilarious antics like hide her contact solution and eat her freshly-baked cookies.

K.I.T.T. – Knight Rider

I’ve been on too many late night, lonely drives to count and it would have been nice on these journeys to have someone – or more aptly something – to converse with. A talking car is just the beginning of what K.I.T.T. (Knight Industries Three Thousand) has to offer drivers. All those fun buttons to push would keep me entertained four hours, like a never-ending sheet of bubble wrap. Plus you get to hang out with David Hasselhoff… not too shabby!

Ecto-1 – Ghostbusters

Imagine hauling ass, in the Ecto-1, to the site of a ghostly disturbance with your proton packs charged at the ready and the thrill of being a member of the Ghostbusters team. Yeah, The Sip Advisor, Egon, Ray, Peter and Winston… has a nice ring to it, don’t you think!? I wonder if Slimer is as cool behind the scenes as he seems in front of the camera. I ain’t fraid of no ghost!

A-Team Van – The A-Team

Riding shotgun with B.A. Barracus and the gang, in the A-Team van, would be pretty sweet. I don’t think I’d bring much to the A-Team, but perhaps I could be their manager or something – setting up an A-Team website and organizing their bookings – letting Hannibal concentrate on strategy for taking down the bad guys.

Ferrari – Magnum P.I.

I’m an associate of Robin Masters, much like my boy Thomas Magnum. As an acquaintance, I have been given access to all of Mr. Masters’ toys, including the Ferrari. Together, Magnum and I would work the Hawaiian Islands, helping those who have found themselves in trouble and landing countless babes with our wild moustaches and overgrown chest hair.

Drink #108: Golden Cadillac

2 oz Galliano
1 oz Crème de Cacao
Top with Milk
Garnish with a Kit Kat Stick

My only requirement with all of these vehicles is that their respective theme songs be pumping on a continuous loop whenever we go for an outing. What track would be blasted in the Pope-mobile? Well, Hell’s Bells by AC/DC, of course!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
A very tasty drink indeed! Perfect for dessert, the Milk-based cocktail is delicious and the Kit Kat Stir Stick was the much-needed final touch to take the cocktail up a few notches.

April 17 – Kinky Bubbles

Posted on April 17, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Hot and Bothered

Today I’m going to talk about the more, how do you say, “sensual” side of the Sip Adivsor (akin to what Zumanity is to a regular Cirque du Soleil show). Despite what critics may say, I am a normal, red-blooded, male and as such, I am prone to being turned on by women wearing sexy outfits. Here are some of the get-ups that get this Sip Advisor up!

Business Woman

Now this may have something to do with Mrs. Sip’s chosen profession, but I love me a powerful woman. One who can take charge and exemplify that air of swagger. Perhaps the best thing business wear offers is the idea of corruption… turning a hardworking, dedicated-to-her-profession lady into your possession. Sounds pretty good, huh!?

Why waste time with the stock market when you have other, more delicate matters, to attend to!?

Super Heroine

There are some sexy female super heroes (and villains) out there. Whether it’s Batgirl or Catwoman, Rogue or Mystique, DC or Marvel, it really doesn’t matter. Put them into a costume and tell them their greatest superpower is they can take care of all of your needs. Then let the fun commence!

Schoolgirl

This seems to work for almost all fellas out there and on any given Halloween, you’re bound to see a ton of girls out there dressed up like they’re en route to attending class. It’s gotta have something to do with the short plaid skirts and tight white tops. This is why I refuse to send my kids to private school in the future!

Christmas

Christmas is one of my favourite times of the year. Giving and getting presents is awesome. Spending quality time with loved ones is special. Seeing ladies in sexy Christmas-themed lingerie might as well be the icing on the eggnog. And don’t you dare forget the jingle bells!

Which one do you unwrap first!?

Sex Kitten

It’s simple, but effective: tights, ears, tail, whiskers… not much to the whole look aside from that. Other animal costumes work too. During Easter, you can go bunny style (cotton tail on the tush!… something that we saw the bikini version of around the pool in Vegas recently!) and show rabbits how it’s really done. Well, I guess not all animals work. I don’t even know how you’d pull off a giraffe.

Naked

Of course, if all else fails, I’ve never been opposed to a little skin… or a lot!

Drink #107: Kinky Bubbles

1.5 oz Kinky Liqueur
Top with Champagne
Garnish with Orange Twist

Well ladies? How about you? What looks do you like your guy to pull off? Let me know… all’s fair after all!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This was my first opportunity to use our recently purchased Kinky Liqueur and while I see potential in the libation, I still can’t give top marks to any Bubbly cocktail. We shall march on!

April 16 – Alabama Slammer

Posted on April 16, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Locked Up

I’ve never been to jail… but I’m willing to bet that it would be fun. If TV and movies have taught me anything (they haven’t), it’s that I’d be able to keep quite active by joining football, basketball, and baseball teams to compete against the guards. When you factor in running from scary inmates – a form of dodge ball – and all the weight lifting I could do, I’m pretty sure that I would be in the best shape of my life! There’s also the lifelong (til death penalty do us part) friendships I would make. So based on my vast television watching experience and the one time I had a run in with “the fuzz”, which almost resulted in a speeding ticket, here are my tips for surviving the slammer:

1) Getting acquainted with your bunk mate

You’re new to the place and really have no right to claim top bunk. If the dude you’re stuck with has already claimed that spot, guess what… you’re bottoms, boieeeee! Better get comfortable, brotha, you might be there a while.

2) Picking a gang

While you could try to fly solo in the clink, it’s probably best that you align yourself with similar-minded people. If the Mighty Ducks movies have taught us anything, it’s prudent of you to go into a flying-V formation, while shouting “quack, quack, quack”. Not only will that show other gangs that you are a united front, but also that your clique has some serious mental instability and is not to be messed with.

3) Making a shiv/shank

No matter how protected you might be thanks to the crew that has adopted you, having a readymade weapon in case of any brouhaha would be quite beneficial. My suggestion is to try and fashion some sort of makeshift gun. Your fellow prisoners will never know what hit them!

4) Earning a reputation

You don’t have to be the tough guy in your cell block, but if you bring something unique to the table, you might be able to slip under the radar for your extended stay. Morgan Freeman (The Shawshank Redemption) was known as the guy who could procure things… Clint Eastwood (Escape from Alcatraz) had only one passion: to escape from prison… Burt Reynolds (The Longest Yard) liked playing football… and Sean Penn (Dead Man Walking) had a thing for lethal injections.

5) Getting drunk

You will miss things you once knew and loved in the outside world. But just because you’re locked up doesn’t mean you can’t have some of those things, even if it is at a lower-graded experience. I have a wonderful recipe for toilet wine. If you’d like the details, please send your credit information to me. See, this is how I got into trouble in the first place.

6) Finding God

I heard that this often happens in jails, which could be good if, like me, you haven’t managed (or gotten around to) finding him, her, or it “on the outside”. And who knows, you may even manage to turn your whole spiritual discovery into a profit, just like George Bluth did with his infomercial promoting his video series “Caged Wisdom”.

If all else fails, the consumption of toilet wine often leads to self-discovery of prayer to the porcelain god as you return your elixir to where it once came from…

Now let’s enjoy something much better than toilet wine!

Drink #106: Alabama Slammer

0.5 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Southern Comfort
0.5 oz Amaretto
Top with Orange Juice
Splash of Grenadine
Splash of Sweet & Sour Mix
Garnish with an Orange Slice and a Maraschino Cherry

Really, if I was sent to prison, I’d probably just do a ton of napping. I’d probably be known as the ‘cat guy’… that is until someone tried to chase my tail and got scratched for doing so!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
It had been a couple years since my last Alabama Slammer and I was quickly reminded of how enjoyable this drink is. I’ve seen other versions of this recipe, but this is the one I was able to pull off with the ingredients I had. Sloe Gin would have been a nice touch, but it just can’t be found in Canada.

April 15 – Whiskey Sick Day

Posted on April 15, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Under the Weather

Recently, your faithful Sip Advisor contracted a flu which knocked me for a loop and caused me to miss my very first days of work due to illness. During my three-day sabbatical, I worked diligently to document my ordeal and I hope to share those notes with you, my little sippers, today. Don’t worry, all the gross stuff has been removed unless you find under-garnished hamburgers as disgusting as I do!

The first day I wasn’t feeling well I still dragged my butt to work and even played soccer, part of a rotating sports league I’m a member of. For some reason, I’ve always played well when ill. While this wasn’t the seven goals I sniped a few weeks back in ice hockey while playing with a cold, it was a half decent performance. Afterwards is when I really started feeling grungy, though.

The next morning I woke up and decided to pull the plug on my iron-man streak. I grabbed a spot in front of the TV and searched for some suitable entertainment… quickly learning that there’s not much out there.

When I myself was just a little sipper and was home from school sick, The Price is Right was a favourite viewing pleasure of mine. Bob Barker and his crusade to get your pets spayed and neutered was something all viewers could get behind… plus Plinko was pretty awesome!

The first thing I noticed when watching the show last week is that it now employs a male prize model. The strapping young man is hard not to notice among the horde of attractive women. I wonder if Bob Barker’s sexual harassment allegations would have been any different with less of Barker’s Beauties around. Rod Roddy, on the other hand, would have certainly found himself in hot water with all the males running about.

The funniest thing is seeing male contestants win a prize and go to hug all the ladies, only to double clutch when approaching the guy and go for the ol’ handshake-hug-reacharound.

My TV viewing pleasures didn’t stop there as I tuned into the Maury Show for some paternity results. Not the best idea to try and catch a nap while moms are screaming about babies having the same eyebrows as prospective daddies and these fine gents are denying they’re fathers with more passion than they’ve ever put into, well… anything!

One case in particular caught my attention as a guy, who was denying his daughter, kept bringing up that he had bought his girlfriend a $900 engagement ring. It was mentioned like 10 times, no exaggeration. Did he follow up the proposal by treating her a two-can-dine for $9.99 meal at Mickie D’s!?

Later on during my sickness, I had a massive craving for salt and grease. In my mind, I knew that a quick jaunt to McDonalds was the only way to appease these desires. Without Mrs. Sip around to take care of me and explain to me that McDonalds is not recovery food – she was off gallivanting around town, selling my secret recipes to unscrupulous barkeeps… or so my delirious mind told me – I had to venture out into the rain, umbrella-less and forage for food. While at the restaurant, and figuring I didn’t want to make the brief trip again, should the urge arise a second time, I ordered four hamburgers.

Sadly, I was only able to stomach one (and that was a challenge… damn, I hate it when Mrs. Sip is right!) before throwing the other three in the fridge for a later date with destiny. Those other meals were massive disappointments, with two of the three sandwiches only containing one pickle… and tiny slices at that. This has been a longstanding issue between myself and Ronald McDonalds’ peeps. I’ve complained before, something I’m rarely charged enough to do, but the results of my pleas have not been satisfactory.

Lastly, I largely stayed away from alcoholic bevvies during my recovery, save for my work on this site. However, I felt best – and this could be a disturbing sign – after I had a couple of drinks nearly a week after I was first sick. Alcohol: it cures what ails you!

Drink #105: Whiskey Sick Day

0.75 oz Whiskey (I used Wiser’s Spiced)
0.75 oz Bailey’s Irish Crème
Top with Hot Chocolate (I used Rolo Cocoa Powder)
Garnish with Whip Cream and Chocolate Sprinkles

My final observation of the week is that being sick absolutely sucks. You think it won’t be so bad being away from work and lazing around, but it’s horribly lonely, boring and tedious. At least I had sweet lady liquor and this little gem to keep me company!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
An impromptu drink to “celebrate” my recent illness, this was quite tasty, although totally messy… not that there’s anything wrong with that! The whip cream runneth over the glass, but it is forgiven because of how well it mixed with the hot chocolate based concoction on the inside of the glass. I never mind getting a little sticky for the sake of discovery!

April 14 – Captain Aaron

Posted on April 14, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Oh Captain, My Captain

There is only one man I trust to steer any ship I’m aboard… that’s my man, Captain Aaron! These are some other options I’d consider, even if most of them are nowhere near remotely real:

Captain Morgan

How could any Sip Advisor list in which an alcohol icon was a possible candidate, not lead off with said subject? Naturally, it can’t be any other way. While I’m more of a Sailor Jerry’s fan in the spiced rum category, Captain Morgan isn’t too shabby an alternative and I love the company’s ad campaigns.

Jesus Christ, the Cap`n gets a lot of sweet tail!

Sweet Jesus, the Cap`n sure gets a lot of sweet tail!

Captain Jack Sparrow

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me! Captain Jack Sparrow is a pretty resourceful guy. He can pretty much get himself out of any sticky situation, is pretty good at hunting long, lost treasure and is not too shabby with the ladies. More importantly, he’s a fan of the bottle and knows where to find hidden stashes of rum on deserted islands.

Captain Crunch

While Cap’n Crunch was far from my favourite cereal growing up, it was on the list of acceptable breakfast options I provided to Mama Sip as a youngster. Like any high profile athlete, my agent and I devised a list of demands that had to be met and cereal selection was chief among them.

Captain Kirk

Captain’s log, stardate 1077.69: I’ve never really been a science fiction nut, but I do have to give some respect to all the Trekkies out there, who show us what being passionate about something really should entail. Captain Kirk never has to buy a drink for himself as long as a geek is close by.

Captain America

While I’m more of a Tony Stark/Iron Man fan, Captain America is a strong leader, who I would be happy to follow into battle. Can you imagine a Canadian version of Captain America, who is light on crime and tries to help bad guys reform rather than punish them? Silly Captain Canada…

Captain Hook

I personally wouldn’t mind seeing Captain Hook get his hands on… oops! sorry, sensitive subject, I know, let me rephrase… get his hand and hook on Peter Pan. Maybe Hook can throw the little brat to the crocodile that’s always hounding him and use the time while the lizard is chowing down on some Pan to get some distance between himself and his pursuer.

Captain McCallister

You might be wondering who this captain even is. Well, I have one word for you: Yarrrrr! Okay, I know all pirates are known to say this, so I’ll just give you the answer. It’s the resident Sea Captain from The Simpsons. Often seen with a corncob pipe and tapping his glass eye, Captain McCallister is not only delightfully incompetent, but gets bonus points for being created by comedian, writer, and late show host Conan O’Brien.

Captain Stubing

While Mrs. Sip and I were on our honeymoon cruise, we were able to watch a few episodes of The Love Boat and quickly fell in love with how laugh-track cheesy the show is. Captain Stubing played a large role in our fondness for the sitcom as he tried to control his band of misfit employees.

Drink #104: Captain Aaron (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

1.5 oz Kraken Black Spiced Rum
Top with Ginger Ale
Splash of Lemonade
Garnish with a Captain’s Hat (If you happen to have one just lying around!)

In the interest of full disclosure, while this is an original recipe, it has been borrowed from the man, the myth, the legend, Captain Aaron himself. Happy birthday, buddy!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
The Cap’n and I love using Ginger Ale as a mixer and I really enjoyed his touch of adding Lemonade to the blend. The Spiced Rum works well with both ingredients, so the whole group comes together quite nicely.

April 13 – Candy Apple

Posted on April 13, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Fun Fare

With summer rapidly approaching, we’re nearing fair season so it’s time to sit down and plan out what you want to eat when that glorious period arrives. It’s also time to think about how you’ll work off those calories before or after the event!

Cotton Candy

The melt-in-your-mouth treat is fun for the first few bites and then you realize how sticky your fingers are getting and someone (cough, cough, Mrs. Sip) reminds you that cotton candy is pure sugar, while also asking for constant bites of your treat. Which one is it, unhealthy or delicious? Why can’t it be both?

Is that Morgan Freeman?

Mini Donuts

You can smell these suckers from miles away and the scent often drags you by the nose to a little booth where you shell out $5 for a bag of 12 mini donuts. And you’ll do it again the next time that cinnamon-sugar deep fried goodness invades your nostrils. It’s always sad how quickly these snacks disappear, but that’s why you happily go home broke.

Caramel Apples

I remember when I was a young’un that our last stop of the day at the fair was to grab a caramel apple for the road. Today they put all kinds of crazy stuff on apples, but back in the day you were happy to have a mound of caramel and if you were really lucky – I’m talking best day ever lucky – you’d find a caramel apple with Smarties on it.

Funnel Cake

This treat absolutely rules with all the options you can stuff in it or heap on top. It’s like a donut-pie combo and I’m a huge supporter of anything deep fried. I’ve even gone so far as to try to put a deep fryer on my wedding registry. When this was vetoed by Mrs. Sip, I launched a petition campaign to get the fryer on the ballot. Speaking of fried delectables…

Deep Fried Anything

From pickles to Mars bars, hot dogs to onions, anything can be wrapped in dough, shoved into a fryer, and found at a fair… and they all taste fantastic! I implore you to find me something that doesn’t taste like it was meant for a deity after it’s been glorified in batter.

Popcorn/Caramel Corn

I’m not a fan of the stuff, but Mrs. Sip is and if I don’t include it, I fear for my safety. Why don’t I like popcorn and other kernel-based snacks? Because I always seem to get those damn kernels stuck in my teeth, along my gums or worst of all, in my throat. For me, the risk-reward just doesn’t pay off. Mrs. Sip, on the other hand, could eat the stuff for dinner after loading it with butter and mixing the occasional Junior Caramel into each handful.

Corn on the Cob

Probably (and sadly) the healthiest item on this list. This is the one exception I will make in the kernel wars, as I don’t really care how much of the yellow stuff I get caught in my teeth or how much butter ends up smeared across my mouth… it’s all worth it in the end when I go for a smooch with Mrs. Sip and she realizes how messy I am…

Of course, you could always drink your carnival treat… yeah, let’s do that!

Drink #103: Candy Apple

0.5 oz Crown Royal
0.5 oz Sour Puss Apple
0.5 oz Cranberry Juice
Garnish with Caramel/Candied Apple Slice

This shot was a great excuse to buy an entire, delicious caramel apple just to decorate it with… as if we need much of an excuse around here to go over the top! For those of you who don’t buy an entire candy apple each time you make this shot, a nice garnishing detail can be to rim the glass with caramel.

Well, I wish you all a wonderful trip to the fair, where I hope the food is awesome, the rides don’t make you yak, and that the demolition derby is still presented in your neck of the woods!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
The pleasure of this shot was two-fold, as the shooter itself was quite tasty and then Mrs. Sip and I chased the liquid with the absolutely scrumptious Caramel Apple. We even fought over the last piece, before she distracted me with another shot!

April 12 – Black Magic

Posted on April 12, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Magically Delicious

Love them or hate them, illusionists exist… unless their existence is, in fact, an illusion itself. Whoa… mind blown… better get on with the post before they make what’s left of my mind disappear, too! So tip your glass to some of the best real and fictional tricksters!

Harry Houdini

Any list about magicians realistically starts and ends with Harry Houdini. I remember as a kid being fascinated by Houdini, who I read about in a library book. For those that know the ol’ Sip Advisor well, the fact I was reading at all is a modern day miracle. Greatest illusion: The Milk Can Escape – where Houdini would be handcuffed and sealed inside a milk can filled with water. Failure, surely meant death.

His assistants look uber evil!

David Copperfield

The Las Vegas legend is one of the most famous and successful illusionists of all time. His greatest illusion should really be his engagement to Claudia Schiffer (lucky bastard), but I digress! Greatest illusion: Vanishing Statue of Liberty – Thankfully, Copperfield wasn’t considered a terrorist for making this national landmark disappear.

Burt Wonderstone & Anton Marvelton

After years of going through the motions of their act, Burt Wonderstone and Anton Marvelton reunite in a bid to outdo endurance artist and street magician Steve Gray. With the help of the legendary Rance Holloway, they show that Gray’s style of pain “magic” will never overtake their efforts in the classical trickery department. Greatest illusion: Disappearing Audience – in unusual Sip Advisor form, I won’t spoil the details of this illusion.

Penn & Teller

Turning to a real life amazing duo, Penn and Teller’s mix of magic, mayhem and comedy is perfect for all fans of the art. After seeing them live in Las Vegas, where Mrs. Sip became a part of the act, I can totally vouch for them as top rate performers. They’re always changing up and perfecting their show, so you never know what you might see. Greatest illusion: Bullet Catch – I wonder if Teller ever gets to shoot at Penn!?

G.O.B. Bluth

The hapless magician from Arrested Development is searching for his father’s love and respect… and thinks a career as an illusionist will help him accomplish it. G.O.B.’s act (or lack thereof, since he was kicked out of the Magician’s Alliance for divulging the secret to one of his tricks… oh sorry “illusion”) is a lot of smoke and mirrors, but he can be credited with bringing back the Europe hit “Final Countdown”! Greatest Illusion: Disappearing Yacht – okay, so he actually just blew the thing up for insurance money, but the crowd still roared its approval!

David Blaine

An illusionist of the street magician and endurance stunt variety, I’ve always found David Blaine creepy. He just seems too “power of zen” for my liking. Still, the guy has done some crazy stuff. Greatest illusion: Vertigo – the guy stood atop a massive pillar in high winds and cold temperatures for 35 hours straight… I couldn’t even be lazy that long and Mrs. Sip would tell you I’m pretty good at that.

Criss Angel

Ever been mind freaked!? I can’t say that it’s a position I’ve ever tried, but apparently it made this dude popular. Greatest illusion: Walking on Water – for a guy who often purports to be Jesus-like, he might as well give this a shot. Quite frankly I would be more impressed if he could turn that water into wine!

Drink #102: Black Magic

1.5 oz Vodka (I used Absolut Raspberry)
1 oz Kahlua
Splash of Lemon Juice
Garnish with Lemon Twist

This drink is a member of the Black Russian family and was quite enjoyable. Its greatest illusion was giving me a sense of inebriation… that, and super powers.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I love the Lemon Twist garnish I used for this cocktail. This drink reminded me of the Brave Bull recipe I did earlier this year and both tasted good. The Raspberry Vodka added a nice twist to the concoction and worked well with the Kahlua.

April 11 – Coco Bongo

Posted on April 11, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Mind = Blown

As I’ve said before, I’m not a fan of clubs. Give me a bar or a lounge any day over these glorified, noisy, cesspools.

That is, until I visited Coco Bongo. Before going to Mexico in 2012, someone (I really can’t remember who… perhaps we blame the concussions… perhaps the years of hard liquoring… perhaps I’m just not that intelligent) told me that at Coco Bongo’s a little person sometimes pours shots in people’s mouths. Well, my little sippers, this is something I had to experience for myself.

The day finally came. It was our last day in Cancun and we were dead set on hitting the Hotel Zone that night for some hardcore parkour… followed by some clubbing. Our group had been aiming to do this the entire trip, but various things – swimming in cenotes, climbing Mayan ruins, drinking beers on the beach, celebrating New Years in Playa, and other such annoyances – had stopped that from happening.

Prior to leaving for the evening, we had some pre-party tequila shots from our hosts’ fine bar selection. After all, what else are you supposed to do in Mexico? This is where Mrs. Sip and I fell in love with 1800 Añejo. After pounding back a few, we felt ready to get our freak on.

We were dropped off in the Hotel Zone and scouted out the details for getting into Coco Bongo’s (price, time, etc.). Some guy on the street who worked for the club hooked us up with our arm bands, which were both our ticket in and our open bar pass (Note: do the open bar thing, forget bottle service. You do NOT want to be stuck at a table in this venue!). Then we made our way to a bar across the street to keep our buzz going before we would tear shit down in the club. I don’t like to dance, but this white boy has some moves and a trick or two up his sleeve!

Yeah, that looks about right!

The bar we hit was okay, but I think we were all anticipating the main event on the card. Soon we were lining-up for Coco Bongo’s, which although previously empty outside, now showed a long line of patrons waiting to get into the show.

I am prone to refusing to pay cover charges, especially if I have to wait in line to get into a place that is going to rip me off. I believe our bands were $40 so I had high expectations. I joined a line that would surely take some time to disappear, but was rewarded as servers began passing out tequila shots to those waiting. This wasn’t wonderful añejo quality, but by this point, who cared!?

Our line moved much quicker than expected and soon we were inside the building, but not in da club. This still did not faze me, as tequila shots and some unidentifiable pink stuff were continually being served like they were going out of style… and I kept drinking them.

Finally we were ushered into the main staging area and this place was crazy! There was a massive stage with ample lighting and decorations. Seating set up all around the building, with people filling the rafters. The floor area was packed, but it was easy to move around and drinks came by frequently.

Top 40, this was not, thank god (… who may have also made an appearance at one point). The show element started up and it was one of the wildest things I’ve ever seen as gorgeous ladies came out dancing to Chicago’s “All that Jazz”, followed by appearances of Madonna, Michael Jackson, and Captain America. The lights went out and when they came back on, Spider-Man had dropped down from the ceiling to party with us and fight off the Green Goblin. The Mask was doing his thing as confetti was streaming down all around, which is such an awesome effect – even if my shoes were stained pink by the tickertapes.

I was totally grooving, so much so that as Mrs. Sip and another girl in our group danced on the bar (they were the hot ones picked out of the crowd… I wonder why I wasn’t chosen!?) I decided to reach behind the bar and grab a massive beer for myself. Sure I only got a couple sips in before it was taken back, but it was a wonderful, hazy memory.

That’s when I saw it, Beetlejuice, in miniature, with a bottle of tequila. While the little bastard never got to me, Mrs. Sip was the recipient of the experience of a lifetime, as she got a shot of this dude’s potion (don’t get any wise ideas, my little sippers).

We celebrated her achievement with more passion than any of our graduations. When the rest of the group wanted to leave around 4am I was the one who wasn’t ready to call it a night (yes, I, the one who hates clubs).

It was a wonderful night, finished with a slice of cold pizza (what every great night should be capped with). I hereby dedicate this drink to that awesome place. As Arnold Schwazenegger once said, “It is not a tumour”… wait, that’s not it… ah, here it is, “I’ll be back!”

Drink #101: Coco Bongo

Rim glass with Coconut Shavings
1.5 oz Malibu Rum
Top with half Coconut Water and half Pineapple Juice

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (5 Sips out of 5):
This drink should be on every alcohol fan’s short list menu. The Pineapple Juice was fantastic – not sure I’ve ever been able to say that before – and the Coconut Shavings always add a special something to any cocktail. A great way to start the 100-series beverages.

April 10 – Milestone

Posted on April 10, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

A Toast to Us!

This is a big one; we’ve hit the 100^th drink in Sip Advisor history. To celebrate this momentous occasion, I hereby introduce to you the first ever Sip Advisor awards!

Everyone is decked out in his and her best attire, the bubbly is flowing (literally!) and the paparazzo is snapping a ton of pictures… I think they just caught one of my infamous crotch shots. I smell another tabloid settlement! Let’s get on with the award ceremony:

Best Site Searches

It’s so funny seeing the various avenues people take to find this epic site. Some of the most bizarre crossovers seem to bring visitors here and I’m not sure whether I should be flattered or fearful. Nope, I know the answer to that… definitely fearful!

Nominees: babs bunny buster bunny bugs bunny toon sex; how do i get a blow job at new york new york las vegas; sexy frauline lederhosen photo; can get blood clots from getting a purple nurple; babysitteres gone bad; all dogs go to heaven porn

Winner: how do I get a blow job at new york new york las vegas – I knew the Vegas Blowjob shot would get us in trouble! I only hope this lad found his answer… I’m personally still searching!

Best Garnish

In my opinion, garnishing a drink is what completes any recipe. It is only a good drink until you give it some companionship in the form of a wedge, chunk, slice, rim or other non-denominational comrade. As you will see by the nominees below, this award is rim dominated (how kinky!).

Nominees: Crushed Froot Loops, Raspberry Jam, Crème Egg/Sprinkles

Winner: Crème Egg/Sprinkles (used on Crème Egg) – this rim is so fun to lick off the glass afterwards… probably better than the drink itself!

Behind-the-Scenes Biggest Mistake

I’m not perfect (although the ladies beg to differ) and some things don’t go according to plan while I’m at the office trying to come up with wicked cocktails for you, my little sippers. Sure, the end product looks fantastic, but along the way, there has been a couple misses, en route to cocktail glory.

Nominees: Pineapple Juice gone bad, Key Lime Pie recipe missing Galliano, Flatliner foul-ups (I had to make and drink three!)

Winner: Key Lime Pie – Galliano isn’t an ingredient in any of the traditional recipes, but I chose to add it for a special flavour… then I forgot to add it entirely when I first made the drink!

Most Difficult Drink

Not every drink we’ve made for Sip Nation has been easy-peasy. Some have, in fact, been quite difficult and taken a couple attempts to master. Others have been a pain in the butt because of how messy the results were.

Nominees: Groundhog’s Shadow, Pretty Vegas, Flatliner

Winner: Groundhog’s Shadow – it took numerous versions to get one that looked even remotely like a groundhog and we suffered numerous defeats (layers that did not layer, groundhogs that did not stay in the ground or were too hard to see) before we found one that looked somewhat like what we were going for and tasted decent.

Best Photo

This award might as well be presented to Mrs. Sip, who has taken a majority of the pictures that have been nominated. Cheap plug: all you little sippers should check out our Gallery page to see all the good work done by our art department.

Nominees: Cosmopolitan, Breakfast of Champions, Crème Egg

Winner: Cosmopolitan – I’m still not sure how this photo came together, but it’s pretty wicked and my personal favourite!

Top Shot

One of my favourite features of the 365-day drink challenge has been Super Saturday Shot Day. It’s been fun switching things up every weekend and putting together a usually delicious shooter to throw back.

Nominees: On the Cusp, Tootsie Roll, Windshield Wiper Fluid

Winner: On the Cusp – like I could pick anything else when this was the shot I, THE Sip Advisor, created for Mrs. Sip’s birthday! (and after all, I don’t want to end up sleeping on the couch!)

Best Drink

This is the big one of the night. Another category that was very hard to narrow down, but using a complex algorithm (just spelling that word seems like it needs its own complex algorithm), I’ve whittled down the choices. In actuality, I went on the basis that these were drinks I quickly made doubles of because I enjoyed them so much.

Nominees: Limestone Breeze, PAMA-Jama, Blue Razz Buzz

Winner: Pama-Jama – all good candidates, but this is a drink I now crave often! Disagree? Let me know!

Drink #100: Milestone (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

0.5 oz PAMA Pomegranate Liqueur
0.5 oz Cointreau
Dash of Lemon Juice
Top with Champagne
Garnish with Berries on a Spear

So, there you have it, the first Sip Advisor awards. I’d like to thank the viewers who have visited the site from 72 countries around the world. We will do this again at drink #200, so join us for all the fun and mayhem the next 100 drinks will surely hold!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This original recipe was pretty good. I enjoyed using PAMA Pomegranate Liqueur again even with the addition of champagne (not one of my favourite alcohols), the overall product was worthy of a milestone post.

April 9 – Toucan

Posted on April 9, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Angry Advisor

Let’s see: coffee drinkers… check; religious zealots… check; birds… hmmm, haven’t ranted on that yet!

I hate birds. Just downright don’t like them. All they do is poop on people… I should know, their bombs have struck me twice in my life and that’s something you just don’t forget.

Not to mention Mrs. Sip and I currently have a bird infestation on the balcony of our place. When we first moved in, a bird had made a nest on the ground of the balcony and we had a baby pigeon. Not realizing what a mess that would turn out to be, we named it Baby Buster and then ignored the problem for several months. Before we knew it, our balcony became a shelter for the stupid creatures who completely ignored the wooden owl that’s supposed to scare them away. And once again an owl has failed me.

Now, it looks like a war zone of bird crap out there. So much so, that we are afraid to open that sliding door, even on the hottest summer days, fearing that we could be breathing in toxins from these vermin. Stupid birds.

Even birds seem to hate other birds. They seem to fight more than warring homeless people.

And it’s not just real birds that piss me off. Animated ones draw my ire, too. Tweety: stupid and annoying. The Roadrunner: stupid and annoying. Woody Woodpecker: stupid and annoying. Sorry about that, the adjective generator in my brain was overloaded the other day and the repair guys are supposed to show up sometime between 9am and 5pm today.

To be fair, I respect the poke playing hawks in the new Old Spice deodorant commercial, but that’s only because I fear them as well. Ducks (Donald, Scrooge, Daffy) and penguins (Opus, Chilly Willy, Wheezy) get a pass because they entertain me. And surprisingly, I do love me some Angry Birds (there’s something so satisfying seeing birds get launched into objects and the resulting mass destruction!).

I cheer when Peter Griffin fights the giant angry chicken. I cry every time Tweety and The Roadrunner get the better of Sylvester J. Pussycat and Wile E. Coyote, respectively, and my blood pressure rises every time I’m woken up by the cooing of a filthy bird on my balcony.

In closing, I am taking steps forward in organizing the Anti-Bird Movement (apparently I’m not alone). Our offices will be located in the Swiss Alps, so high in altitude that birds cannot find us and therefore we need not worry about their poop, their weird birdy noises, or their ability to steal French fries. While this drink may have been enjoyable, I’m feel great shame and sadness every time I make a drink that is bird-related. On the plus side, once you slam this cocktail, that’s one less feathered fiend in existence.

Drink #99: Toucan

1 oz Malibu Rum
1 oz Peach Schnapps
Top with half Orange Juice and half Lemon-Lime Soda
Garnish with an Orange Slice covered in Coconut Shavings

Tomorrow marks our 100th post here at The Sip Advisor. I hope you’ll join us, as we look back at the first 100 days of this drinking challenge, through wild recipes, insane garnishes and wonderful time spent together.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I may be guilty of kind of screwing this one up. Despite using Orange Juice, I was surprised to see how clear the drink was. After photos and drinking, I realized that I forgot to shake the OJ and that was why it was so clear. It still tasted decent, so I guess the essence of Orange Juice is good for something.

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