September 21 – What’s My Name Again?

Posted on September 21, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

30 for 30

While the title of today’s post is shared by the popular ESPN sports documentary series, I’m using it to describe 30 great achievements of my 30 years on this planet. This is kind of my bucket list of crossed off items… mission accomplished!

Family and Friends

1: Got Engaged – I’m still surprised she said yes!

2: Got Married – Again, I’m still surprised she said yes… I gave her a year and a half to change her mind!

3: Was a Best Man – Broski Sip got married in 2010 with me by his side.

4: Planned a Stag Party – Nothing says “I love you, man” than planning the perfect sendoff as your buddy enters married life.

Rites of Passage

5: Earned a Driver’s License – Been on the roads for 14 years now… Mrs. Sip still doesn’t have a full license!

6: Graduated High School – Some people didn’t see that coming!

7: Earned 4 Diplomas/Degrees/Certificates – I have quite the resume… anyone looking to hire!?

8: No More Picky Eater – Chicken strips and fries are pretty awesome, but lobster and escargot are better.

9: Moved Out – It was hard to leave the amazing home of Ma and Pa Sip, but living with Mrs. Sip has its own benefits!

Travel

10: Travelled to 34 Countries – Mrs. Sip will hit 50 countries before she turns 30, but I think I still made a pretty damn good dent.

11: Stepped foot on 6 Continents – I’m only missing Antarctica, which we hope to get to one day.

12: Lived Abroad – Spent six months living in England and travelling Europe.

13: Visited the Greatest Cities in the World – From London to St. Petersburg, Sydney to Los Angeles, the resume isn’t full yet, but I’ve been to so many cool places.

Academics

14: Made the Honour Roll – Got my shit together one year and made the honour roll twice… it never happened again.

15: Graduated with Honours – Always knew journalism and I were a match made in heaven!

Professional

16: Became Published – My first article ever (aside from online and school writing) was for B.C. Hockey Now.

17: Covered the Vancouver Canucks (NHL) and B.C. Lions (CFL) – The two biggest sports franchises in Vancouver and I got to watch both for free!

18: Worked the 2010 Winter Olympics – NBC Universal Sports hired me for the Games, a goal of mine when I first entered journalism school.

19: Made Money Doing What I Love – Watching sports for a job just doesn’t get much better… perhaps getting paid to have sex!?

20: Started The Sip Advisor – I was thirsty (literally!) for a new project when Mrs. Sip suggested The Sip Advisor. Here we are and I’m pretty sure everyone is having a good time!

Adventure/Crazy

21: Tried a Number of Extreme Sports – Bungy jumping, ziplining, zorbing, luging, surfing, scuba diving… I’ve tried them all!

22: Saw my Favourite Comedians Perform – From Christopher Titus to Daniel Tosh, I’ve seen all of the living comedians I ever wanted to.

23: Won Money in Las Vegas – I’m too cautious to lose or win a lot of money, but I did come home up on one trip and that’s more than a lot of people can say.

24: Won Money at the Races – My last trip to Fraser Downs resulted in six winning bets on nine races, including picking three winners straight up!

25: Hosted an Annual Event – My annual Beer Pong tournament is a highlight of the summer social calendar.

26: Invented a Word – Walk Blocking – like cock blocking, but everyone can do it!

27: Became an Internet Sensation – And the journey has only just begun!

28: Swam Across a Body of Water – I joined Mrs. Sip for a crossing of the water outside our lodge in Indian Arm, B.C. It took us 45 minutes round trip to make the journey.

29: Shot a Gun – Cousin Sip and I hit one of the many ranges in Las Vegas to help cross this off the list.

30: Sang Karaoke – Not well, but Mrs. Sip and I do perform a rocking version of ‘I Hate Everything About You’!

Drink #264: What’s My Name Again?

0.3 oz Spiced Rum (I used Kraken)
0.3 oz Southern Comfort
0.3 oz Peach Schnapps
0.3 oz Goldschlager
0.3 oz Vodka
Garnish with a Lemon Slice

There are still so many things left to do (get a tattoo, touch a snake, go skydiving, drink motor oil!) that the next 30 years should be just as adventurous as the first 30. Any suggestions!?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This shot finishes Rum Week and the story goes that if you have enough of these, you’ll forget your own name! While it is a rather potent shooter, it’s also very tasty, helped along by the Peach Schnapps, Southern Comfort, and Goldschlager. I’ll have to try their little dare sometime and see how long it takes for the ol’ mind to go blank! Let’s drink to my successes and excesses!

August 27 – The Gladiator

Posted on August 27, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

No Muss, No Fuss

In some ways, a fussy drinker is justified… but there are other times where you just need to let go and make the best of a boozy situation. Instead of being a fussy #*$!, here are some suggestions for when you’re feeling the fuss but still want to get your drink on.

Must Have Ice

If no ice is available, I will suffer through my drink, but it at all possible, you better believe there will be cubes in my cocktail. I’ve learned well from my parents that having a stock of ice is perhaps the most crucial element to any soiree. Surprisingly, some locations don’t really cater to the ice lovers out there. If you’re in a setting that doesn’t allow the free flow of ice, my recommendation is to stick to beer or wine.

Top Shelf Only

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate drinking a top shelf spirit when the opportunity arises, but I’m not going to go all Frasier Crane when other alcohols are used to make my cocktail. There are people out there that only want the finest and that is their prerogative… unless they make a scene about that. Those folks should be shown the door, whether friend, colleague, lover, or kin. There are some good cheaper brands that can really make a drink. My favourite mid-shelf drinks are Sailor Jerry Spiced Rum, Disaronno (for Amaretto), and Absolut.

Fresh Ingredients Are a Must

In the interest of simplicity, sometimes it would be easier to use a pre-mixed concoction. However, Mrs. Sip won’t allow this and I do get her point. Bottled mixes are often much sweeter and more sugary than the natural ingredients would be. We’ve made it a rule around the Sip Advisor headquarters that only fresh juices and fruit are used for this site. I hope you’ve noticed our dedication to excellence!

I’m On a Diet

This may be the fussy drinker that pisses me off the most. We all have friends that only drink vodka sodas or other flavourless swill because they are watching their calorie intake. The worst is that person who insists her cocktail be made with diet pop – which is far worse for you than any normal beverage – and gives you attitude when you inform them you don’t carry that crap because of how awful it is. Solution: None, you suck.

It Needs Fizz

Another core concept I generally agree with, but there are a multitude of drinks that neither require nor warrant carbonation to be enjoyable. Most of the classic cocktails would be ruined if fizz was added. That being said, generally if we can work some tang into any beverage, you can bet your ass we will. A positive of using sodas in your mix is that the drink will have an effervescence and energy to it as the bubbles hit your tongue.

Too Soft, Too Hard

Scratch that, this is the fussiest drinker that grinds my gears the most. The type of “friend” who complains about the drink you’ve given them being too weak. Um, alright… and by the way, you’re welcome. Then when you make the next cocktail, you up the liquor quotient and suddenly it’s too strong. Well, you know what, I reserve the right to pick and choose who I serve and you… are… out of here!

Drink #239: The Gladiator

0.75 oz Amaretto (I used Disaronno)
0.75 oz Peach Schnapps
Drop shot into glass of Lemon-Lime Soda
Garnish with a Lime Wedge

What cocktail requirements do you insist on? Perhaps we’ll have to agree to disagree!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I’m not sure how a drink that use two lighter spirits winds up with such a commanding name like The Gladiator, but that’s just how things go sometimes. I found this recipe in an online discussion of cocktails for fussy drinkers, so I decided to give it a try. I liked how the Peach Schnapps and Amaretto would slowly roll out of the shot glass as I slammed the Lemon-Lime Soda and the whole concoction was quite tasty!

August 16 – Mexican Bulldog

Posted on August 16, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Freebie Frenzy

On my twice daily trips to the liquor store, I love seeing the little freebies that are often attached to a bottle of alcohol. They can sometimes provide the tipping point in what I choose to spend my allowance on. Here are some of the more unique items I’ve seen:

Glass Clip and Rimming Salt – Corona Beer

In homage of today’s frozen cocktail, Corona released a set that included a case of beers, a Margarita-style glass, rimming salt and a clipping device that would allow you to pop a beer bottle into your drink with little fuss or mess. Sadly, I didn’t pick up the set and am kicking myself over it ever since.

Rimming Salt – Sauza Tequila

Much like the above entry, rimming salt and Tequila go hand-in-hand. Legend has it that they were separated at birth and have been destined to walk the earth searching for one another, reuniting solely in Margaritas, Palomas, and Tequila Shooters. It is a quest worth completing.

Playing Cards – Bacardi Rum

What does every boozehound need to have on their person at all times? A deck of playing cards, of course. When the Rum is flowing and fun is needed to be had, is there a better way to find it then shuffling up some cards? You can play a myriad of games, from Strip Poker to King’s Cup and everything in between.

Coaster – Wiser’s Whiskey

The Wiser’s Whiskey advertising campaign celebrating the Society of Uncompromising Men is one of my favourites. Well, what better way to be a classy drinker than to have a travelling coaster with you at all times. The only thing that sucks about giveaways like this are you’d have to buy four bottles to have a complete set of coasters. I’m up for the challenge, though!

Phone Case – Bacardi Oakheart Spiced Rum

I’ve never actually had a phone skin or protective case. It’s called looking after your shit and not damaging it with reckless disregard. That said, if you want to sport the Bacardi Oakheart logo on your phone, all the power to you. It is a pretty wicked logo and at least now, you won’t be cracking your screen the next time you’re plastered!

Speaker – Smirnoff Vodka

I suppose the theory behind this pairing was that you could take your bottle of Vodka and speaker and create a one-man party! With no one else around, playing garbage music and ruining your funk, the good times would keep on rolling all through the night… until you blacked out in a glorious bender, that is.

Socks – Captain Morgan Spiced Rum

You may be thinking that socks are an odd item for a liquor company to be attaching to their product. And you might be right. It wasn’t even Christmas or anything. I do, however, believe there is a method to the madness here. The Captain Morgan company is simply making sure that their customers don’t get cold feet after passing out.

Cocktail Shaker – Dr. McGillicuddy’s Peach Schnapps

The last time I bought a bottle of Peach Schnapps, it came with a miniature cocktail shaker, which allowed you to make one drink at a time. Sure, it’s not a full-sized shaker, but the intent is to get you interested in mixology and playing around with Peach Schnapps, in particular. That is exactly what I did!

Bottle Light – Absolut Vodka

It’s been a dream of mine for some time now to have a full-sized man cave bar, complete with backlit shelves to highlight all the wonderful liquor I’ve purchased over the years. This device allows you to at least light up one of your bottles, letting it gleam a mesmerizing glow throughout your life, surrounding you with liquid sunshine and warmth.

Drink #228: Mexican Bulldog

Rim glass with Strawberry Sugar
2 oz PAMA Pomegranate Liqueur
2 oz Triple Sec
Splash of Lime Juice
Blend with Ice
1 Bottle of Coronita Beer
Garnish with Lime Wheel

If you’re interested in checking out my previous post on the subject of liquor freebies, you’ll find that here. Do you have a suggestion for a third post on this topic? As always, I’m waiting with bated breath!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
It’s pretty awesome to combine a delicious Margarita (the PAMA Rita is perhaps one of the best I’ve ever had) with a fresh, crisp beer! Coronita Beers were made especially for building the Mexican Bulldogs and they’re a cute little bottle of beer to have around. You have to be cautious with dunking the beer into your drink. Once we had it nestled into the drink, there was no mess to worry about, but first getting the brew in there caused some issues, particularly overflowing.

July 9 – Woo Woo

Posted on July 9, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Things That Make You Go Woo

While I’m not one to show my emotions easily, there are many things in my life that bring out an emotional charge in me that few ever knew existed. Here are the things that make me (and I’m sure many others) go woo!

Shots & Shooters

You had to figure that the Sip Advisor gets his motor running with alcohol. And nothing beats slamming back something hard like whiskey or tequila and shouting out a resounding woo as your face goes fuzzy and you ride the burn of the liquid shredding past your throat and down your esophagus. Might as well load up another round… the party is just getting started!

Beautiful Women

When I see Mrs. Sip dressed up in anything from her sexy business attire to nothing at all, I may have to mutter it under my breath, so as not to cause a public disturbance, but you can bet her sweet ass that I’m going woo-woo-woo, as my mind spins and the salivary glands completely disregard the information my brain has passed on to them.

Ric Flair

The venerable wrestler has long had the catchphrase of simply shouting “Woooooooooo” and having the crowd echo it back to him. Every time he would chop an opponent across the chest, the fans would shout in unison along with the sick sound of slapping skin, all the while watching the victim’s chest turn red with welts. Flair’s catchphrase has even been adopted by a number of sports teams, being played following a goal or other scored point.

Rollercoasters

One of the greatest thrills for me is going over the apex of the first drop on a rollercoaster and falling at blazing speeds, screaming at the top of your lungs and preparing to do it again on the next descent. Everything from my first coaster, Montezuma’s Revenge at Knott’s Berry Farm to my all-time favourite, Space Mountain at the Disney parks is good reason to damage your voice box.

I hope they saved me a seat!

Bungee Jumping

When you step up to the edge of the platform and you feel the chord that’s supposed to support you drop into the open air below, you get a sense of what your body is about to do. There’s no turning back, though. Just jump, spread your wings and fly, all the while screaming as you plummet towards the earth below! That free-fall feeling is almost euphoric… providing you’re not afraid of heights! Whoo hoo!

Sports Triumphs

Being from Vancouver, Canada, we haven’t had many of these (40-plus years of hockey futility, mixed with losing our NBA and NLL franchises), but even if you’re live at the stadium, a big goal can lift you to your feet and have you high-fiving complete strangers in an instant. We did have the 2011 run to the Stanley Cup Finals and although it ended with disappointment (and a riot), the ride was absolutely fantastic!

Drink #190: Woo Woo

1 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Peach Schnapps
Top with Cranberry Juice
Garnish with a Lime Wheel

What makes you go “woo”? It’s okay if it’s something weird like bird watching or gardening. To each their own, I always say.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
For some reason, Peach Schnapps and Cranberry Juice go so well together. It’s a nice mix of sweet and tart and the top shelf Vodka certainly helps. It also comes Mrs. Sip approved!

July 3 – Karma Killer

Posted on July 3, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Liquor Karma

I am a strong and firm believer in my self-created concept of liquor karma. Being the owner and proprietor of a well-stocked home bar, as well as having a relatively full social calendar, there is much drinking to be done. I feel that if I am good with my duties, keeping my friends and family well-lubricated, then that will be rewarded to me when the time comes for the tables to be turned. Here is my manifesto of liquor and party laws:

If hosting a small gathering with close friends, you should expect people to tap into your stash. If they bring their own goodies, that is great, but unless otherwise stated in your invite, you must always be a good host. If your get together is impromptu, this increases your odds of having to provide. As a guest, “never arrive empty handed” is a good mantra to live by, even if it’s just a couple of beers for yourself.
If your invitation has any semblance of mentioning BYOB, then your guests should BYOB. Sadly, if you are a regular entertainer and have a really good bar, people will rely on you to just take care of them.
Never decimate a friend’s bar. No matter how generous the person is and regardless of what others are doing, show some respect. I’ve seen people drink a host’s expensive scotch… and we’re not talking about having a small glass or two.
When out at the bar, don’t nickel and dime your friends when it’s time to pay the tab. Also, make sure you take your proper turn in paying for the next pitcher of beer or round of cocktails.
Make sure to host the occasional event and take your turn at providing an evening’s worth of entertainment. Not only is it fair to share the responsibilities, but it can be an eye-opener to see how much work actually goes into hosting.

These lessons, as they are presented here, apply to drinking, but they can really work with anything in life from dinners out with friends, to chipping in for transportation, to any number of social events you may be invited to.

Drink #184: Karma Killer

1.5 oz Dark Rum (I used Captain Morgan)
0.25 oz Triple Sec
0.25 oz Peach Schnapps
Top with Fruit Punch
Garnish with Lemon Wheel

I’m happy to report that I have a good core group of friends that do follow this trend. There’s only one black sheep in the group who never brings anything, drinks all my good stuff and doesn’t offer returns when he hosts on rare occasions. So, Fred… you are the weakest link and are no longer allowed at the Sip Advisor’s bar. We’ve put your picture up at all entrances (there’s only one) and you will be escorted off the property if you try to get in.

Sip Advisor’s Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
The original recipe called for Fruit Punch, as well as Orange, Pineapple and Grapefruit Juices, but doesn’t Fruit Punch largely cover all that on its own? So, I nixed all the seperate juices. I also changed the Peach Brandy to Peach Schnapps, so this is really going the way of the adapted screenplay. The Peach Schnapps substitution was well worth it, as it is the sweet aftertaste you get with each sip and that’s quite enjoyable.

May 20 – Sex on the Beach

Posted on May 20, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Making Whoopee

I certainly don’t advocate getting freaky along the shoreline. What with all that sand that could wind up literally anywhere. I don’t even like sand getting in between my toes, so I would abhor the substance being wedged betwixt my buttocks. While I’d like to think that any setting provides a good opportunity for doing the down and dirty, here are some other places you might want to avoid:

Airplane Bathroom

Getting two people crammed into this very tight space would be a modern miracle. Then, putting up with the stench the last guy left for you long enough to finish your business would be a performance of Iron Man proportions. I know that a lot of folks want to join the “Mile High Club”, but is it really worth all the coordination and effort. My advice is to keep it on the ground, unless you’re ever financially set enough to have your own private plane. In that case, go nuts… literally!

Theme Park Ride

Perhaps this was more achievable many years ago when cameras weren’t everywhere and security was more lax. Today, you never really know where people are located on rides, hidden in the darkness and making sure riders follow all the rules. I remember being on Splash Mountain once and I had the double-wide backseat to myself with Mrs. Sip in front. Just before the big drop she tried to slide back to sit with me (not to do anything sensual, but just because it’s fun to sit together heading into the briar patch), until some dude emerged from the shadows, scaring the bejesus out of both of us. Mrs. Sip promptly returned to her assigned spot and as soon as we finished the attraction, we got the eff out of dodge.

Forest

Unless you want to go home with sap and pine needles pasted all over your body (similar to stripper pasties, but tougher to remove… as if I have comprehensive knowledge of the devices), the forest may not be the best place to find an intimate moment. Sure it provides the two elements that the above entries lack – privacy and spaciousness – but it’s not the cleanliest of settings. If you thrive on getting dirty, in all manner and senses, then go wild!

Dance Floor

I know with all the raunchy bumpin’ and grindin’ that occurs at the clubs nowadays, it’s hard not getting all hot and bothered. I can remember many times (and I am far from a clubbing regular) where a guy and a girl were getting really physical with each other, likely thinking everybody was doing their own thing and not paying them attention. On the contrary, every single person on the dance floor stopped en masse and was watching this exhibit of primal passion. Might as well give them a golf clap for their efforts.

Body of Water

Surely, someone will die during your exploits in the H2O. Whether it is from drowning or the always hilarious going over a waterfall, one or both of you are not going to have a very good time. With questions regarding the purity of nearly every body of water on earth today, is that really something you want to be trifling in. Remember, that’s where fishies pee!

Playground

Talk about rockin’ out teeter-totter style! The problem with a playground is that there’s too many apparatus options, all of which carry a high degree of risk and injury. You could go down the slide together, but one of you would surely topple over the other. You could try the swings, but one or both of you will be compelled to jump into the rough gravel below. Finally, there’s the fire pole, but that will just ruin all of your memories of the classic Batman live action show, not to mention some kind of chaffing with all that exposed skin.

Drink #140: Sex on the Beach

1.5 oz Vodka (I used Smirnoff Blueberry)
1 oz Peach Schnapps
Top with half Orange Juice and half Cranberry Juice
Garnish with a Mandarin Orange Slice

I like that the mocktail versions of this drink can be referred to as Safe Sex on the Beach, Dry Humping on the Beach, or Virgins on the Beach. Perhaps this is the only way to safely traverse through the world of sexual discovery… but you won’t have nearly as much fun!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I like the Peach Schnapps taste, despite not being a peach fruit fan. This was a very enjoyable martini that would be awesome poolside or, as the drink advises, on the beach! I regret not putting a cocktail umbrella into the drink as that would be a perfect finishing touch.

May 13 – Lazy Afternoon

Posted on May 13, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Late Adopters

I like to think that I’m pretty with it when it comes to good TV shows and I usually find series’ before the mass audience tunes in. Broski Sip and I watched Arrested Development from day one, years before most people realized it was the cleverest show on television. I was with Family Guy all the way through its cancellation and resurrection. Here are a few shows that slipped through the cracks of my amazing radar, but have since been picked up by Mrs. Sip and myself.

Archer

On a night staying over at Ma and Pa Sip’s place (they have more channels than I do), Mrs. Sip and I saw Archer for the first time and were immediately hooked. In only a few weeks we’ve gone through the first four seasons of the animated comedy and have loved every minute of it. The wacky ISIS spy agency and their adventures are full of so many goodies and I hope this show continues on for many years to come.

Firefly

Unfortunately, Mrs. Sip and I learned of this wonderful show well after it had already been cancelled. A western-space crossover initially just didn’t appeal in the slightest. We did get on board with it shortly after though, and well before its feature film Serenity was released. Ultimately, there’s just something about the sci-fi-western mix that works, the writing is fun, story lines witty, and all of the characters are likeable in their own special ways.

Community

We started watching Community when it had already finished its second season. I had seen brief commercials for the comedy, but for some reason never really felt the need to give it a chance. Finally, after hearing some buzz about it, Mrs. Sip and I checked it out and were far from disappointed. Sadly, the show seems to be coming to an end, as not enough viewers like me caught on to how original and creative it actually was until it was too late.

Parks and Recreation

I actually watched the premiere episode of this series and didn’t really enjoy it the first time around. Years later, I gave it another chance and after working through a decent first season, absolutely fell in love with the characters in its second campaign. You know you have a good show in front of you when you try to pick your favourite character and you keep wanting to change your selection

Rome

Rome was one of the first HBO series that Mrs. Sip and I ever watched and it hooked us to the channel and its programming for life. The show had already rushed its two season run to cram in as much Roman history as possible, but the epic was still masterfully done, with wonderful settings, and complex characters you could really appreciate.

Flight of the Conchords

Mrs. Sip and I started watching Flight of the Conchords after the show had already finished production and we quickly fell in love with the quirky New Zealanders. The songs the guys perform are actually pretty catchy – “Business Time” and “Too Many Dicks on the Dance Floor” being among my favourites – and while the humour is a little dry, it’s an acquired taste worth acquiring.

The jail house drama is quite the crazy series to undertake. I had watched the odd episode here and there many years before we finally started the show from the beginning. It’s funny to root for some real despicable characters, but you find yourself doing just that. I won’t spoil any plot points, but for the last couple years, Mrs. Sip and I have only had four episodes left to watch but can’t bring ourselves to finish the series, afraid of what might happen to one character in particular.

Drink #133: Lazy Afternoon

1 oz Whiskey
1 oz Peach Schnapps
0.5 oz Cherry Liqueur
Top with Pineapple Juice
Garnish with Cherry Blaster Candies

Finding these gems of shows is like coming across found money in a seldom worn jacket. You usually end up with an already built library of great episodes to now go through and enjoy and you don’t have to wait each week for the next adventure.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I changed the Cherry Brandy part of this recipe to Cherry Liqueur. The drink was decent, but not a grand slam hit. For such a great cocktail name, I was hoping for better results.

April 9 – Toucan

Posted on April 9, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Angry Advisor

Let’s see: coffee drinkers… check; religious zealots… check; birds… hmmm, haven’t ranted on that yet!

I hate birds. Just downright don’t like them. All they do is poop on people… I should know, their bombs have struck me twice in my life and that’s something you just don’t forget.

Not to mention Mrs. Sip and I currently have a bird infestation on the balcony of our place. When we first moved in, a bird had made a nest on the ground of the balcony and we had a baby pigeon. Not realizing what a mess that would turn out to be, we named it Baby Buster and then ignored the problem for several months. Before we knew it, our balcony became a shelter for the stupid creatures who completely ignored the wooden owl that’s supposed to scare them away. And once again an owl has failed me.

Now, it looks like a war zone of bird crap out there. So much so, that we are afraid to open that sliding door, even on the hottest summer days, fearing that we could be breathing in toxins from these vermin. Stupid birds.

Even birds seem to hate other birds. They seem to fight more than warring homeless people.

And it’s not just real birds that piss me off. Animated ones draw my ire, too. Tweety: stupid and annoying. The Roadrunner: stupid and annoying. Woody Woodpecker: stupid and annoying. Sorry about that, the adjective generator in my brain was overloaded the other day and the repair guys are supposed to show up sometime between 9am and 5pm today.

To be fair, I respect the poke playing hawks in the new Old Spice deodorant commercial, but that’s only because I fear them as well. Ducks (Donald, Scrooge, Daffy) and penguins (Opus, Chilly Willy, Wheezy) get a pass because they entertain me. And surprisingly, I do love me some Angry Birds (there’s something so satisfying seeing birds get launched into objects and the resulting mass destruction!).

I cheer when Peter Griffin fights the giant angry chicken. I cry every time Tweety and The Roadrunner get the better of Sylvester J. Pussycat and Wile E. Coyote, respectively, and my blood pressure rises every time I’m woken up by the cooing of a filthy bird on my balcony.

In closing, I am taking steps forward in organizing the Anti-Bird Movement (apparently I’m not alone). Our offices will be located in the Swiss Alps, so high in altitude that birds cannot find us and therefore we need not worry about their poop, their weird birdy noises, or their ability to steal French fries. While this drink may have been enjoyable, I’m feel great shame and sadness every time I make a drink that is bird-related. On the plus side, once you slam this cocktail, that’s one less feathered fiend in existence.

Drink #99: Toucan

1 oz Malibu Rum
1 oz Peach Schnapps
Top with half Orange Juice and half Lemon-Lime Soda
Garnish with an Orange Slice covered in Coconut Shavings

Tomorrow marks our 100th post here at The Sip Advisor. I hope you’ll join us, as we look back at the first 100 days of this drinking challenge, through wild recipes, insane garnishes and wonderful time spent together.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I may be guilty of kind of screwing this one up. Despite using Orange Juice, I was surprised to see how clear the drink was. After photos and drinking, I realized that I forgot to shake the OJ and that was why it was so clear. It still tasted decent, so I guess the essence of Orange Juice is good for something.

April 1 – Pretty Vegas

Posted on April 1, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Souvenir Sipping

Las Vegas is filled with special souvenir glasses. Each resort seems to have their own offering, thanks to the special theming that goes into each place. Here are some we’ve seen while out and about on the strip!

Eiffel Tower/Hot Air Balloon – Paris

Some of the most elaborate souvenir glasses are sold at The Paris hotel, where you can get your favourite iced drink inside either a replica of the Eiffel Tower (or as some jackass cabbie in France insisted, “Tour Eiffel”… seriously, we told the driver we wanted to go to the Eiffel Tower four times and he kept “misunderstanding” us until we said Tour Eiffel… and Parisians wonder why everyone hates them!) or a ceramic hot air balloon that mimics the outside of the resort.

Guitar – Rockhouse

If you ever wanted to play Guitar Hero and get blitzed without having to put your instrument down, here’s your chance. These bad boys hold a fair bit of liquor (80 oz), too, so be prepared to rock all night long!

Football – Fremont Experience

Fans and even non-fans of pigskin can’t turn down a beer-filled football. I know I couldn’t. When you’re done the drink, you now have something to play with back in your hotel room… or you can turn Fremont Street into your own personal playing field. Touchdowns are scored by getting to the Golden Nugget end zone.

Tambourine – Rio

You can get either a Sex on the Beach or a Margarita in one of these glasses that also doubles as an instrument. Mrs. Sip, myself and Broski Sip grabbed a pair of these before hopping into a limo and cruising up and down the strip getting wasted. When our limo tour was finally over, we all had to hit the washroom so bad that taking a photo outside the vehicle shows a three-person pee-pee dance. Add to that, Mrs. Sip suffering food poisoning later that night (not to do with the drink) and now she can’t enjoy Margaritas in the same way.

Bong – Numb at Caesar’s Palace

I haven’t had a chance to see this glass in person, but I’ve seen pictures. Quite frankly, it looks like something Tommy Chong was arrested for selling. The curious cat in me wonders if it can actually be used as a smoking device afterwards. After all, can’t stoners turn absolutely anything into a bong?

Toilet – Rock & Rita’s at Circus Circus

Have you ever wanted to experience the joys of a dog’s life? Here’s your chance to do it in a mostly hygienic manner by drinking out of this toilet souvenir glass. This doesn’t mean you’ll gain the ability to lick yourself in the naughty region (well, give it a shot anyway), but you will suddenly gain an appreciation for having your ear scratched.

Skull – Teasure Island

I used to have a skeleton mug that we’d leave out for Santa Claus every Christmas morning. It seems kind of morbid now, but when I was a kid, I insisted on it. Maybe jolly ol’ Saint Nick would prefer if that mug was filled with beer. I know I would and therefore I plan on tracking down this glass as a sacrifice for the ghost of Christmas future.

Big Kahuna Fish Bowl – Kahunaville at Treasure Island

Granted fish bowls aren’t really anything new to the drinking world, but combine the massive goblet you’re given here with the beakers of liquor that you can choose to add to the mix whenever you feel and you have quite the winning combo. You can even buy extra beakers and make the drink look like a test subject.

Boot – Coyote Ugly at New York, New York

We’ve all heard stories of the infamous German boot glass. Well, the Coyote Ugly Saloon has taken that success and created the cowboy boot glass. There’s actually a normal glass shape inside the boot, so drinkers won’t have to deal with the air pocket that sometimes accumulates when chugging from the German boot, although that’s all part of the fun. You know, I never understood the name of this bar… I think Wile E. Coyote is quite fetching!

Drink #91: Pretty Vegas

0.5 oz Blue Curacao
0.5 oz Melon Liqueur
0.5 oz Peach Schnapps
Top with Cranberry Juice
Splash of Lemon Juice
Garnish with a Cocktail Umbrella

Layer each of the ingredients in their order about on top of each other in an ice-filled glass. There are many other specialty glasses out there in Sin City (Pineapples at Cheeseburger in Paradise, Statue of Liberty at New York, New York, etc.)… if only you had the time, liver and the money to collect them all!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
Layering the ingredients of this drink actually worked out reasonably well. The only issue was the clear Peach Schnapps melding together with the light-coloured Lemon Juice. Other than that, all the ingredients behaved themselves and kept their distance. The overall taste was good, as well.

March 28 – Vegas Bomb

Posted on March 28, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Vegas or Bust

Well I’m off to Vegas tomorrow, which is a favourite weekend getaway for Mrs. Sip and me. So with our trip quickly approaching, I’m turning my mind to one of my favourite drinking trends: public consumption. One of my favourite things about Las Vegas is the opportunity to drink in public. Nothing beats walking along the strip on a nice warm day with a cold 40 oz beer in your hand.

Grab a drink, hit the strip, party… it`s as easy as one, two, three!

While liquor is available everywhere in Vegas, ABC Stores are great for cheap beer, liquor and even little bottles of wine for Mrs. Sip (I know, she embarrasses me too!). There’s even a jaunt you can do in the Miracle Mile shopping centre where you can grab a beer at one ABC, enjoy it as you walk through the mall and make another pit stop to refuel as you hit a second store deeper in the complex. Hell, it’s the only way I can get through the pain of shopping.

Drinking on the street in Vegas was a graduated learning process for us that evolved on each subsequent trip. First we started off with the hotel bought frozen drinks in crazy plastic shaped containers that you see everyone carrying around (we figured that the hotels are selling them to you, so it must be okay to walk around with).

Then we progressed to aluminum beer cans (aluminum is like plastic, right?). But the beers we really wanted were in bottles. So finally we took the plunge, bought a few, and dared to see if we would be challenged with our glass. As we exited one of the ABC stores, we realized that our beer bottles weren’t twist tops – a huge mistake on our part. As we tried to decide whether we should go buy an opener, a security guard began to approach us. We were quickly relieved to learn she just wanted to help us pop the tops of our drinks! Viva Las Vegas!

I’ve now advanced beyond beer in Vegas and instead I often like to grab a mickey of something and a mixer, take a swig out of the mixer bottle and drink my way through the entire combo as we go along. Mrs. Sip took advantage of one of these afternoon buzzes, by getting me to pose like a drunk for photos on the replica Brooklyn Bridge outside New York, New York. Little did I know that I was mimicking the exact pose of a real drunk behind me. Thanks babe!

Even celebrities drink on the strip!

Walking the strip, you get quite the eclectic group of people and that means a mix of drink ideas and opportunities. You get your beer guys and gals, your frozen drink enthusiasts, your hard liquor folk, and the dreaded sobriety demons (who you can recognize because they are usually yelling scripture at you and informing you that all sinners go to hell… too late!). It is perfectly fine to taunt these men and women, unless they are designated drivers… we here at The Sip Advisor are cool with DDs and support that cause.

Just writing this post makes me want to be there right now… I only hope my money can last the long weekend!

Drink #87: Vegas Bomb

0.75 oz Crown Royal
0.75 oz Butterscotch or Peach Schnapps
1 Red Bull

Simply drop your shot into the glass of Red Bull and slam that sucka’. We don’t leave for Sin City until tomorrow, but we couldn’t resist getting all crazy and into the spirit of things!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Drop shots can be fun, but messy. That was the case with this particular one, as the shot glass tipped sideways when I dropped it into the big glass. I went with Butterscotch Schnapps for the sweet portion of the shooter, but you could also use Peach Schnapps.

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

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