October 19 – Zombie Guts

Posted on October 19, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Brrraaaiiinnnsss

While zombies are meant to be scary and ignite fear within viewers of undead material, sometimes the genre can be flipped upside down and be used to portray romantic and comedic stories. Here are some flicks that eschew the typical Zombie story:

Warm Bodies (2013)

What happens when a zombie falls in love with a woman and feelings begin to return to an undead being? This is the question that Warm Bodies looks to answer. The zombie, known only as R spots Julie and is attracted to her. Having just killed her boyfriend and kidnapped her, he tries to make amends and the two slowly grow close. I loved Rob Corddry in this movie as fellow zombie M. His presumed best friend relationship with R is done quite well, given they’re non-communicative zombies.

A Little Bit Zombie (2012)

Steve, a mild-mannered HR manager is bitten by a zombie mosquito and therefore, he’s only “a little bit zombie”. Complicating matters is Steve’s wife-to-be, who’s gone all bridezilla on their upcoming wedding. That’s a pretty funny premise to me and although it’s not the greatest movie out there, it is a unique twist on the zombie film.

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

According to Shaun, the safest place to take refuge in the middle of a zombie uprising is at the local watering hole. So, Shaun and pal, Ed, are charged with rounding up Shaun’s mom and girlfriend in an attempt to make it to the shelter of the Winchester Pub. After all, that’s where drinks, food, and good times can be had. This film launched the careers of Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, and others and is the first of the Three Flavours of Cornetto Trilogy (Hot Fuzz and The World’s End being the other offerings).

Army of Darkness (1992)

Ash Williams (Bruce Campbell) is back to fight the undead and this time, he’s got a boomstick (a shotgun) and chainsaw (affixed to his arm, of course) to keep him company. The third and final film in The Evil Dead franchise (as of now) is a cult favourite for its catchphrases, humour and cheesiness. There are plans for an Army of Darkness 2 to be released sometime in the future, with Campbell returning to his titular role of Ash.

Dead Alive aka Braindead (1992)

Directed by Peter Jackson (yes, the same Peter Jackson that has since gone on to make the Lord of the Rings and Hobbit trilogies), this zombie outbreak is caused by the dreaded ‘Sumatran Rat-Monkey’, which infects the mother of Lionel Cosgrove. Cosgrove now must care for his undead mother, while fending off his uncle who wants the family estate. The flick is full of wonderful gore, so much so that the uncut version is still banned in Germany.

Zombieland (2009)

The best part of Zombieland is the “rules” the viewer learns along the way, as Columbus, Tallahassee, Wichita, and Little Rock pursue freedom, Twinkies, and the Pacific Playland amusement park. It all leads to a final showdown between the weary survivors and the deadly zombies at the theme park, where creative kills come in spades. Although there was talk of a sequel and even a TV series, neither came to fruition, although a pilot was filmed in 2013 with the series later being rejected.

Drink #292: Zombie Guts

0.75 oz Vodka (I used Pinnacle Strawberry-Kiwi)
0.5 oz Bailey’s Irish Crème
Splash of Lime Juice
Dash of Grenadine
Garnish with a Candy Finger

Which movies would you suggest to the Sip Advisor to get his zombie viewing on? That way I can be as brainless as the undead beings I’m watching!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This is quite the process to make this shooter. Mix the Vodka and Lime Juice together before straining into a shot glass. Then, add drips of Irish Crème, which will curdle thanks to the Lime Juice and form the basis of the guts. Finally, add a couple drips of Grenadine for the bleeding effect. That’s what’s supposed to happen, but as you can see above, I had no such artistic luck. Still, things turned out okay and throw in a Candy Finger to complete the project.

October 18 – Spider’s Bite

Posted on October 18, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

TV Haunts

Most TV shows will take advantage of the Halloween season and put out an episode involving a party or trick or treating and while many of them are good, great even, some series really know how to salute the event. Here are the shows that took the Halloween formula and turned it up a notch, leaving their own mark on the holiday:

The Simpsons

You really can’t go wrong with The Simpsons ‘Treehouse of Horror’ Halloween specials. It’s hard for me to pick a favourite segment, but I’d probably settle on “The Shinning” lampoon of “The Shining”. I also love the story of Homer selling his soul for a donut and Ned Flanders being the devil. Mrs. Sip and I went back last year to watch every single episode, but only managed to get through 15 of the 23 shows (now 24)… on the plus side, that leaves us with nine airings to go through this year, leading up to the 31^st!

Roseanne

Roseanne featured a Halloween episode every year from 1989 to 1995. The Connors were a wild bunch that loved Halloween perhaps more than any other time of the year. The whole family got into the spirit, with decorations around the house and wildly imaginative costumes. The best episode may be 1989’s “BOO”, which featured the family hosting a haunted house in their home and Dan and Roseanne taking turns trying to scare the crap out of one another.

Community

Every season of Community’s existence has featured a Halloween-themed episode and hopefully that continues in season five. The show has celebrated Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead), examined what would happen if a zombie apocalypse took over the school, tried to figure out which member of the study group is a potential homicidal maniac, and ventured through a seemingly haunted house to rescue their friend. What could be next for the gang?

Home Improvement

With all of Tim ‘The Tool Man’ Taylor’s hapless home renovations and gadgets, you knew each time Halloween rolled around that there would be mayhem and macabre in the household. Tim is also big into Halloween pranks, something that his family has also gotten into the spirit of as they try to get back at their father/husband. Watch a few of these and you’ll be interspersing your laughing with the odd grunt or two!

The Office

The Office was always good for viewing because it gave you touches of what you experience in your own daily working life. That includes the yearly ramp up to Halloween at, well, the office. The costumes worn by the characters have been full of gags, like Michael’s two-headed monster, all the women dressed as cats, and Jim’s lack of enthusiasm for choosing a getup, his outfits including three black dots (Three-Hole Punch Jim), wearing a “Dave” nametag, and writing “BOOK” on his face (Bookface).

Drink #291: Spider’s Bite

1 oz PAMA Pomegranate Liqueur
0.5 oz Cranberry Liqueur
0.5 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Triple Sec
Splash of Lemon Juice
Garnish with Black Licorice

Have I missed your favourite show? Give me hell and let me know what to watch this or next Halloween season!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This cocktail was pretty tasty. The only downside was having so much Black Licorice leftover, but I was able to pawn them off on Pa Sip. All the ingredients combined to make a sour, flavourful martini… a much better experience than getting bit by a spider!

October 17 – Wicked Witch of the East

Posted on October 17, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Musical Mayhem

Today we look at my favourite musicals I’ve been dragged along, kicking and screaming, to see. What do musicals have to do with alcohol, you might be asking? Well, whenever Mrs. Sip wants to go to one, she usually plies me with booze to get me in the mood. It’s a similar process to serving chocolate fondue to your better half when you want them to play video games with you. What’s that? Us dudes are supposed to use this tactic for other benefits… oh my, how very wrong I’ve been!

Avenue Q

The way I always describe this show is “Sesame Street gone badass”. The musical features scenes of gratuitous puppet sex, while also including songs like “Everyone’s a Little Bit Racist” and “The Internet Is For Porn”. I actually introduced Mrs. Sip to Avenue Q, suggesting we see it in London’s West End after I saw an ad. She wasn’t onboard until learning that it had actually won a number of Tony awards, including Best Musical (2004), beating out Wicked, the show Mrs. Sip wanted to see. The show didn’t disappoint in it’s larger London venue or when I recently saw it again in a smaller venue at Vancouver’s Granville Island Theatre.

Book of Morman

Mrs. Sip and I were lucky to see this amazing show during another trip to London recently. It’s the hottest show right now and tickets are hard to come by. We ordered months in advance… and then blanked on the date of our performance and missed it. They hold a lottery before every show to sell 21 tickets in the front row. Mrs. Sip and I entered and were fortunate to have our entry drawn! The show was produced by the creators of South Park, who have absolutely no problem lampooning everything under the sun from religion to race and Book of Mormon is no exception.

Rock of Ages

If you love 80’s rock from all the best hair bands, then this show is for you. The energy is fantastic, the music is rocking and there are a lot of laughs to be had, as the era is spoofed. Of course, the plot centers around a small town girl and a city boy coming together in Los Angeles, as they both reach for the heights of stardom. This is the first musical I’ve been to where they actually sell drinks routinely throughout the performance.

Jersey Boys

When you leave this musical, all you want to do is download some Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons tunes and go back in time to another era. I surprised Mrs. Sip with tickets to this show as a wedding shower gift… well, after Ma Sip forgot to pass the present along to her, on my behalf. The production, which we saw at Vancouver’s Queen Elizabeth Theatre, received an immediate standing ovation as it ended, not one of those “well, most people are standing, so I guess I’ll stand too” types of deals. Oh, what a night!

Lion King

Hakuna Matata… what a wonderful phrase! Mrs. Sip and I saw the Lion King in Las Vegas and it was an enjoyable show. While I personally found that the movie is better, the musical tried to separate itself a little from its source material with a few songs that aren’t in the film and the costumes were out of this world. Perhaps best of all, is it was combined with a free buffet dinner at the Mandalay Bay resort.

Singin’ in the Rain

This is the first musical I ever took Mrs. Sip to as part of a dating anniversary gift. I suppose I set myself up for future trips to the theatre with that gesture, but I guess it’s all worth it. The best part of this show was when they flooded the stage during the titular number. Then, throughout intermission, as they worked diligently to dry the stage, I worked just as hard to make sure my stage was getting wet at the bar!

Aladdin

In its 10th year at the Hyperion Theatre at Disneyland’s California Adventure park, Mrs. Sip and I have watched the production a handful of times throughout our visits and have always enjoyed ourselves. The Genie sometimes updates his jokes, so it’s never the same show. Full of acrobats, big theatrical numbers, and even an elephant and a flying carpet, this mini musical never disappointing! Plus, since you’re already inside the park, the musical is free and you can bring a Churro in with you for snacking!

Wicked

Perhaps my favoruite element of going to a musical is the use of staging and how it is quickly changed in the course of a performance. This show had perhaps the best stage work I’ve ever seen and I can totally understand why it’s a hit production. The story of how the Wicked Witch became her wicket self is an interesting twist on the Wizard of Oz franchise, which is full of other possible origin tales.

Drink #290: Wicked Witch of the East

1 oz Melon Liqueur
1 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Blue Curacao
Dash of Grenadine
Garnish with a Broomstick

Have any suggestions of shows I should check out in the future? I’m willing to try anything once, but if you send me down the wrong path, I’ll take away your little sipper membership and secret decoder.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Okay, so I’ve pushed this cocktail back a number of times and Halloween seemed like the perfect time to finally get it done. It’s supposed to be layered, with the Melon Liqueur and Vodka mixed together and poured on top of the combined Blue Curacao and Grenadine, but although that didn’t work out, the blend of black with hints of green around the edges I felt looked neat enough. And the Broomstick garnish… I made that myself. I know, who would have thunk the Sip Advisor had some arts and crafts talent!

October 16 – Old Fashioned

Posted on October 16, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Bucket List

The day before my 30th birthday, I shared with all you little sippers my 30-for-30 accomplishments. Today, I’m going to look deep into my own soul and reveal some of the things I still want to accomplish. I can’t share everything, though, as there’s only so much the FCC will let my divulge!

Fly First Class – After all my jet-setting around the world, I have never enjoyed the pleasures of first class… that will have to change!

Touch a Snake – I’m not shy in admitting that I’m afraid of snakes. I fully intend to work up the courage (or intoxication level) to finally touch one, even if only briefly.

Go Skydiving – This is one thrill that has eluded me and I’ve found a number of people who want to join in this accomplishment. Let’s get it done folks!

Learn to Play the Drums – Like all my idols before me (John Bonham, Danny Bonaduce, Animal from the Muppets), drumming is in my soul and I’d love to learn it more than my mastering of the Rock Band game controller version.

Visit Antarctica – Mrs. Sip and I will virtually travel anywhere, but hitting Antarctica would give us our seventh and final continent!

Compete in Endurance Event – Whether it is Tough Mudder or some other course, I’m game for a little self-punishment.

Get a Doctorate – Not the real thing, of course, but one of those celebrity dealies!

Attend a Stanley Cup Parade – Preferably in my hometown (sans riot), as the Vancouver Canucks hoist the NHL championship.

Perform Stand-up Comedy – I’m not saying I’ll be a success, but I’d love to work up the courage just once to hit the stage and tell a few jokes before I’m barred from performing ever again!

Rent a House Boat – The Sip Advisor loves to party… and he loves being on the water. Put the two together and get the gang together for a wild time off the grid!

Create a Man-Cave – I think it’s every man’s dream to create their own mancave, dedicated to the worship of hot women, sports, alcohol, games, and everything manly.

Publish a Book – If there are any publishing people out there, you know how wickedly awesome this site is. Let’s make it into a book and share the cocktail goodness.

Travel into Space – This is another objective that both Mrs. Sip and I share. We’re hoping mass space tourism eventually happens in our lifetime (not the pay $20-$40 million type) and we’ll be quick to snatch up tickets.

Create my own Alcohol – And I’m not talking about one of those home brew kits… I want to invent, manufacture, and market my own spirit. All I need is a rich benefactor and we’ll be off to the races!

Get a Tattoo – I have this image in my head of my little buddy Furious B (he’s a cat) eating a potato chip that I must make real! Just kidding, I do have a design in mind, just waiting for the right time to get inked.

Do a Cliff Dive – Always one to take a shot at various danger sports, this is a goal I hope to accomplish in some exotic locale… an exotic locale that recognizes my health insurance, that is.

Catch a Fish – Despite fishing a few times when I was younger, I have still yet to snag a catch. Although we did find a starfish in a self-made crab trap I helped with recently. Does that count?

Be in a Food Fight – I would harness my best inner-Bluto Blutarsky and go wild with the ranch dressing. It may sting the eyes, making it the perfect food fight projectile!

Drink #289: Old Fashioned

2 oz Bourbon/Whiskey (I used Apple Pie Moonshine)
1 Sugar Cube
2 Orange Slices
Dashes Angostura Bitters
Garnish with Maraschino Cherry & Orange Slice

What else do you think should be on the Sip Advisor’s bucket list? I eagerly await your advice!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (5 Sips out of 5):
I picked this classic recipe from a couple cocktail bucket lists, as it’s one I’ve intended to do with this project all along. My choice of using Apple Pie Moonshine may break some of the rules for this drink, but it tasted absolutely delicious. This may be my favourite classic beverage so far, as the Apple Pie flavour mixed well with the Orange Slices and Maraschino Cherry. Just plain ol’ good drinking!

October 15 – Subway Rumbles

Posted on October 15, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Transit Troubles

Recently, the Sip Advisor received a little promotion at work (mild-mannered desk jockey by day, notorious boozehound by night), which required the move to a new office. I went from a five-minute walk to work to a half hour transit trip and I consider myself one of the lucky ones. I hate taking public transit with all the other weirdoes (like Mrs. Sip!). These are the things I deplore most about commuting:

Well, SpongeBob, I’m going to try anyway!

People who don’t clear a path for exiting passengers

I won’t hesitate to throw a shoulder tackle or roaring elbow at anyone, male or female, who blocks my path from exiting a vehicle. I’ve always operated that when you are boarding a vessel, you stand to the side and let people exit before rushing on. That doesn’t seem to happen anymore and I sadly get off at a very busy station when people will feel my wrath.

Cars that fill up and you can’t get out at your stop

As if the tension of exiting a vehicle into a crowd wasn’t bad enough, some days it’s a struggle to even get to the exit at all. People don’t seem to respond to me saying excuse me, which I have to start to do before the train has even come to a full stop. Wading my way through the unintelligent humanity is often difficult and my reward is to be greeted by more as the doors open.

People who have loud, annoying conversations

Young people today (now that I’ve hit 30 and ‘old age’, I can really bash the younger generations) don’t seem to have a buffer between their brains and their mouths. They’re sharing the intimate details of their life for the world to hear, as they yap loudly into phones and to their travelling buddies. I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard a little too much information.

People who listen to their music at ear-blistering levels

I hate most people’s choice in music, but if they keep it to themselves, we have no issue. Unfortunately, there are those commuters that think their artist selection abilities are so epicly awesome they feel the need to share their tunes with every single person they encounter. The volume will only go up as they continue to erode their hearing with the horribly brash music.

People who smell awful

There are some funky-smelling people riding public transport! Luckily I only have to go two stops on my more constricted form of transportation. You can’t really blame someone who’s been out working all day for their body odor, but there are ways of masking that. If you don’t have time to put on some deodorant before rushing home, at least hang a couple air fresheners from yourself.

Delays due to incidents

I have my route to work perfectly timed. Unfortunately, all the nut cases out there in transit land seem to want to work against me and cause issues that delay my trips to the office. Unfortunately, you never really know the status of your commute until you board the system and then, you’re taking your life into your own hands with all the concerns I outlined above.

Drink #288: Subway Rumbles

1 oz Scotch (I used Glenfiddich)
1 oz Gin
Splash of Lemon Juice
Splash of Grenadine
Dash of Egg Whites
Dash of Peychaud’s Bitters
Garnish with Orange Zest

October was a good month to do this post in because public transit can be more nightmarish than a haunted house. Tell me your worst commuter stories below… come on, vent a little!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I was surprised with how much I enjoyed this cocktail. The Scotch adds a strong finish to each sip, but not so strong that you don’t like the drink. The other flavours all come together quite nicely and the drink is neither too bitter nor too sweet. It falls right in the middle for a great recipe.

October 14 – Green Gobbler

Posted on October 14, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Pilgrim Party

Today is Canadian Thanksgiving and while it’s not the tradition that the American version has grown to be, it does provide an extra day off and a chance to reflect on the things we’re thankful for. Here’s my list:

Mrs. Sip

Although we are going through a trial separation (ie. she’s taken off on one of her world travels and left me to look after the house, pets, kids, and savings – if we had any of those things), I have to single her out as my greatest thing to be thankful for. She is my muse, my benefactor, and my raison d’etre. Now get your butt back home so you can sample all the wonderful creations this shambled mind is coming up with!

Family and Friends (aka The Sip Alliance)

I have some of the greatest family and friends anyone could ever dream up and I challenge anyone to top what I have been blessed with. The Sip Alliance has greatly supported me in my expedition to present a new cocktail every day to the wild, wild web. From shooting me ideas, to providing me with new alcohols to experiment with, I have the best pit crew a liquor jockey could ever ask for.

All My Little Sippers

This website has been a smashing success, in my honest opinion. Our stats continue to improve and I have all you readers to thank for that. I’m sure you’re asking yourself: “How can I support the Sip Advisor more?” Well, unless you’re Scrooge McDuck and want to sponsor my endeavours, you could at least like us on Facebook, sign up to follow the blog, or just continue to check back when you’re in the need of some info-tainment!

Freedom

While I may not agree with the choices of many (your vegetarians and what have you), I’m happy to live in a time and place where people have the right to be who they want to be and what they want to be. When I declared to the world (well, perhaps it was more of a small gathering) that I intended to drink 365 cocktails in the calendar year of 2013, nobody told me I wasn’t allowed to do that (although they probably should have!) and all I received was love and support.

Deep Fryers

Can you imagine life without these wonderful machines? I surely can’t. How would I get my fries or chicken strips or even tempura vegetables? Most of you have heard the harrowing tale of my quest to get a deep fryer – despite Mrs. Sip’s opposition – going so far as to petition the internet to support my cause. While we came up short in our pursuit, I still have much love for one of the greatest inventions in history.

Sauces

Do you remember that scene in Fight Club, where Edward Norton’s character describes the contents of his fridge and it’s basically stuffed with condiments? That might as well be me on some occasions. I’m a full ranking member of the sauce nation. I love so many of these concoctions, that I mix and match them like women do with their clothing and I get giddy when I discover a new item I want to purchase.

Comedy

Laughing soothes the soul and therefore I surround myself with as much funny material as I possibly can. From trips to the local comedy club, to sitting back with a few of my old animated friends (The Simpsons, American Dad, Archer, etc.), rarely does a moment go by where I’m not getting in a good chuckle. I often break out into hysterical laughter in the middle of a quiet work day, leaving my colleagues to ponder my mental state!

Drink #287: Green Gobbler

0.75 oz Raspberry Vodka
0.75 oz Pumpkin Pie Vodka
Splash of Blue Curacao
Top with Sweet & Sour Mix
Garnish with Berries

What are you thankful for on this most glorious of days away from work (aren’t they all wonderful)? Enjoy your feast!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
Perhaps this isn’t the most traditional Thanksgiving recipe I could have used, but the mix of flavours intrigued me and so I went for it. The drink was only okay, as I didn’t taste the Pumpkin Pie Vodka as much as I hoped I would. It was kind of subdued by all the citrus and berry notes.

October 13 – Red Rum

Posted on October 13, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Screen Spooks

Normally this time of the year, Mrs. Sip and I are getting into the Halloween spirit by watching scary movies and TV show episodes that highlight the pinnacle of October. With Mrs. Sip away in Europe, experiencing real-life haunts such as Dracula’s Castle, I’ve been left on my own to spook myself. Here are some of my favourite horror viewings:

Dead Snow (2009)

This movie is spectacular, focusing on the uprising of a horde of Nazi zombies. It begins with your usual group of young people heading out into the wilderness for a wild weekend at a remote lodge. Along the way, they awaken the Nazi zombies and the gruesome killings begin. Will anyone survive? Dead Snow is a Norwegian movie, so you have to be okay with subtitles, but I totally recommend sitting through the fun.

April Fool’s Day (1986)

Mrs. Sip and other members of the Sip Alliance are fans of murder mystery parties. As for myself, I enjoy the eating and especially the drinking, but the whole dressing up and getting into character I find to be a struggle. This film takes the classic murder mystery weekend that turns real route. I haven’t yet seen the 2008 remake, preferring the cheesiness of the 80’s flick, although the remake was direct to DVD, so it’s probably got its fair share of fromage, too!

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

I’ve always thought that Freddy Krueger is one of the best horror movie baddies. He can be so vile and repulsive… yet charming, as he was made in later installments, dropping classic catchphrases and killing his victims in a more cartoonish style. The original Nightmare is a great film, perhaps best remembered lately for Johnny Depp’s role. The Freddy character has gone on to star in numerous movies, returning to the cold-blooded killer he was meant to be in recent adaptations.

The Shining (1980)

Watching Jack Torrance’s (Jack Nicholson) descent into madness is a great feat of acting. If I was stuck in that massive resort all by myself for the winter, I’d probably go a little nuts, as well. Nearly as good as the movie, is The Simpsons spoof of The Shining, which features Homer losing his composure when he discovers that there will be no TV and no beer during the duration of their stay looking after Mr. Burns mountain home.

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

I’m particularly fond of the remake of this film, which is largely set in a shopping mall and depicts a group of strangers having to band together to remain safe in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. Of course, some are able to do what’s best for the unit, while others are only capable of looking out for themselves. The resulting chaos is a thrilling ride as you hope that the good ones can make it out alive.

Saw (2004)

While I still haven’t completed my watching of the entire franchise, I give full marks to the first Saw movie, which has so many twists and turns and violent endings that you’ll be glued to your screen as you try to figure out, just as the victims do, why they’ve been chosen by Jigsaw to ‘play a game’. The film is not for the squeamish, as Jigsaw’s traps are quite horrifying and deadly, but the psychology behind Saw is what really makes the series work.

Drink #286: Red Rum

1.5 oz Spiced Rum (I used Sailor Jerry’s)
1.5 oz Irish Crème
Top with Cream Soda
Garnish with Chocolate Cookie Stick

Do you have any suggestions for a lonely and easily frightened Sip Advisor? Feel free to pass them along my way!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
It looks like Pepto Bismal… and that’s not necessarily a good thing. The drink doesn’t taste that bad, perhaps helped along a fair bit by the Sailor Jerry’s and even Cream Soda, but the Irish Creme causes some curdling, which takes a little while to get used to. This is one cocktail you’ll definitely want to ingest with caution.

October 12 – Churros

Posted on October 12, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Donuts Around the World

We all know your typical donut offerings: your rounds, jelly-filled, long johns, etc., but the world is in fact full of variations on the classic pastry. I know what you’re saying “There can’t seriously be that many different styles of donuts!” If that’s your opinion, stand back and prepare to be amazed (as you usually are) by the Sip Advisor’s investigative skills… ahem, and a quick shout out to Wikipedia!

Churro (Mexico) – Every time Mrs. Sip and I are in Disneyland we have to share at least one churro. While you might shell out $3-$5 for a single churro at the fair or amusement park, in Mexico, we picked up an entire bag of the cinnamon sugar-laced dessert sticks for about the same price.

Beaver Tail (Canada) – Once again, Canada puts itself on the map with culinary items that come the closest to sexual innuendos! The Beaver Tail, in this case, is actually a flat, rounded donut that you can layer various toppings onto. A company has grown out of this invention and offers some great options.

Timbits (Canada) – One of the country’s most popular dessert offerings is the Timbit (known is other locales as a donut hole), which allows snackers to still have some doughy goodness, but not be forced to inhale an entire donut. My favourite Timbit is undoubtedly the chocolate glazed offering.

Fritter (Various) – A fritter basically means (according to my research) and mass of dough that can be stuffed with any substance. That’s not the technical definition, but I think you get the point. Fritters can be stuffed with everything from meat to seafood to fruit.

Cruller (Europe) – While popular in the United States and Canada, crullers originated in Europe and their name is derived from the Dutch word cruller, which means “to curl”. These twisted donuts can come in round or stick form.

Ngàuhleisōu (China) – Otherwise known as Ox-Tongue Pastry or Horse-Ear Pastry, these flattened discs are probably more appetizing than they sound. The Ngàuhleisōu can be filled or topped with either sweet or savory filling. Given it’s China, who knows what could be in the donut!

Loukoumas (Greece) – The figure eight of the donut world! I believe Mrs. Sip and I tried one of these bad boys when we visited Greece in 2007… you know, before the country went down the crapper.

Beignets (France) – Similar to a fritter, this French treat is quite popular in Louisiana, where the Creole lifestyle has kept many Parisian traditions alive and well. Mrs. Sip enjoyed beignets when she was in New Orleans recently. The donuts are often topped with piles of powdered sugar and can also feature jams and sauces.

Berliner (Germany) – Filled with various jams, these are the original jelly donuts. Apparently, it’s a common practical joke for berliners packed with mustard to be placed among normal jam-filled berliners, waiting for a victim to take a bite. Oh, those crazy Krauts!

Taiyaki (Japan) – Why not follow your sushi with these fish-shaped donuts. This dessert is more similar to a pancake or waffle in batter style and can be filled with anything, including custard, chocolate, cheese, gyoza, or sausage.

Bear Claw (United States) – Traditional bear claws are commonly made with almond paste and raisins. Since nobody likes things to just be ‘traditional’ anymore, bear claws now also come in apple pie, butter pecan, cream cheese, and various fruit stylings.

Funnel Cake (United States) – Mmmm, I love having funnel cake at American amusement parks. The only thing you have to watch out for is getting powdered sugar all over yourself. Like eating lobster, funnel cakes should come with their own bibs!

Elephant Ears (United States) – Colloquially known as a palmier, the elephant ear is a puff pastry which uses dough similar to a croissant. I only wish poachers would spend their time baking these treats rather than killing elephants for their tusks.

Angel Wings (Poland) – These sweet and crispy pastries are enjoyed throughout Europe. A tradition exists of husbands giving angel wings to their wives on Friday the 13th to stave off bad luck… sadly, most of those women snub the snack in favour of negative mojo because they’re counting their calories.

Éclair (France) – The custard-filled, icing-covered pastry is a French delicacy, but not being a huge fan of custard, I think I’d rather just have a Long John!

Drink #285: Churros (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

Rim glass with Cinnamon Sugar
0.75 oz Glazed Donut Liqueur
0.75 oz Goldschlager
Garnish with a Donut Hole

Every time I think I can’t come up with another article about donuts, in order to support my recipes featuring the Glazed Donut Liqueur, I go and amaze myself with the method and madness my brain is capable of. Next up: the Jelly Donut shooter and post. Let the brainstorming begin!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I originally made this shot, on a whim, for Mrs. Sip and myself. When it passed the taste test, I knew it was eventually going up on the site. The ingredients do emulate a Churro or other cinnamon sugar-based donut and the garnish was a nice little treat to chase the shooter.

October 11 – T&A Integration

Posted on October 11, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Wardrobe Malfunctions

Who doesn’t love a good nipple slip? How about a crotch shot? Some butt cleavage? Whale tale? With cameras everywhere nowadays, celebrities (and even us normal folk) must always be vigilant with our wardrobe. Here are some of the most famous clothing malfunctions:

Janet Jackson

This is the exposure that started the whole concept. During Jackson’s Super Bowl half-time show, featuring Justin Timberlake, Timberlake went to Jackson to pull something off her outfit only to reveal one of Jackson’s breasts. The incident was dubbed everything from Boobgate to Nipplegate and led to censorship crackdowns, fines and lawsuits. While it was the cause of a national outcry in the United States, here in Canada, apparently only about 50 people complained. I guess we just appreciate titties more!

Britney Spears

The former pop princess showed the entire world how dangerous it is to get out of a vehicle when you’re going commando. Of course, this all occurred around the time questions about Spears mental state were swirling wildly. I don’t blame her for going a little Looney Tunes. I’m a mild celebrity compared to her and I feel the daily pressure and grind to perform for all my little sippers out there. Don’t worry folks, my crotch shot controversy and baby mama dramas are coming down the pipeline!

Wrestling Divas/Knockouts

It is a common occurrence in professional wrestling to get a brief peek at women’s naughty bits; especially given they’re rolling around and getting all physical with each other in the skimpiest of outfits. Some have gone so far as to accuse the promotions of making these incidents not-so-accidental. Whatever the reason they occur, us fans are thankful… it is, after all, the only reason worth watching most female battles… kind of like watching NASCAR and waiting for a crash!

Mrs. Sip

Near tragedy (or pleasure in this case) almost occurred while Mrs. Sip and I were touring Egypt. During a dinner and party, in which all us travelers had to dress in traditional Egyptian garb, Mrs. Sip was selected to join some dancers. She had previously done some belly dancing, so she was open to the opportunity. Problem was, she was wearing a top (that already didn’t leave much to the imagination) that was originally too loose, so she altered it. Moments into her dance, POP goes the weasel and Mrs. Sip has to cover up, hoping nobody caught a glimpse!

Drink #284: T&A Integration

Rim glass with Strawberry Candy Powder
1.5 oz Gin (I used Bombay Sapphire East)
Top with half Fruitopia Strawberry and half Lemon-Lime Soda
Splash of Lemon Juice
Garnish with Lemon Zest

I love how wardrobe malfunctions have been defined by various sources. Wikipedia states: “A wardrobe malfunction is accidental exposure of intimate parts.” The American Dialect Society defines the mishaps as: “An unanticipated exposure of bodily parts.” Chambers Dictionary lists the term as: “The temporary failure of an item of clothing to do its job in covering a part of the body that it would be advisable to keep covered.” Finally, the Sip Advisor describes it as: “Absolutely wonderful and often hilarious.” We’re all right!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This was a very good martini and I have to give a huge shout out to the folks at McDonald’s for carrying the Fruitopia Strawberry mixer as part of their drink station. The Lemon Juice and Lemon-Lime Soda add a nice bite to the subtle Strawberry pop. A tasty treat, indeed!

October 10 – Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic

Posted on October 10, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Cocktail Creations

There are some pretty interesting fictional cocktails out their in media land. I vow to try each and every one of them eventually. Here’s what made it to the top of the wishlist!

Flaming Homer/Moe – The Simpsons

When Homer Simpson is stuck at home with his terrible step-sisters and not a drop of beer to be found, he panics and puts together a cocktail made of all the booze he has left, accidentally adding some children’s cough medicine to the mix. Ash from one of his step-sister’s cigarettes lights the concoction on fire and makes it taste amazing. When Homer shares the recipe with bartender Moe Szyslak, Moe steals the drink and markets it as a Flaming Moe, gaining fame and fortune until Homer reveals the secret ingredient as revenge.

The Flaming Moe is actually served at Universal Studios: Florida… another reason to go back to that amazing park!

Screaming Viking – Cheers

When Cheers has one bartender too many, the regulars want to keep Woody Boyd on the job over newcomer Wayne. When Wayne bets his job against being able to make any drink ordered, the Cheers gang makes up this cocktail on the fly in order to throw Wayne off. Of course, it’s pretty hard to replicate a recipe that doesn’t exist. The drink has since been produced by a couple of bars with varying recipes. Unless it’s served while you’re saddled up between Norm Peterson and Cliff Clavin, it just wouldn’t feel right.

Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster – The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Invented by Zaphod Beeblebrox, the drink is described as “the alcoholic equivalent of a mugging – expensive and bad for the head” and it “is like having your brain smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick”. The drink has been created in reality for stage productions of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and at bars around the world. Suggested recipes I was able to find largely just throw a ton of different boozes into the mix.

Green Russian – Archer

Absinthe and milk… a winning combination? Just think about it, you get your daily calcium nourishment, as well as an elixir meant to make you trip balls. This potent cocktail is the invention of Pam Poovey, director of human resources at the ISIS spy agency. Pam can often be seen walking around bars with her own personal booze chilling units, so it’s no surprise she is a liquor hound. She will even pour absinthe directly into a carton of milk! There are other Green Russian recipes available online, but I think Pam was on the right track with her rendition.

Kidney Killer – American Dad

Francine Smith was once a hard-partying girl along with her partner in crime Kelly Wilk. When Kelly comes back into Francine’s life, the two try to recreate their wild times, with Haley Smith insisting she can keep up with the women. Haley drinks the fabled Kidney Killer and winds up in need of a kidney that Francine can’t offer, herself a victim of the booze. There is a Kidney Killer recipe on the internet. It combines tequila and Southern Comfort into a shot glass. The jury’s out as to how many you need to drink to actually kill your kidney!

Thankstini – How I Met Your Mother

This martini of vodka, cranberry juice and a bouillion cube is perfect for celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday. It’s like having a home-cooked family meal in a cocktail glass. Inventor Barney Stinson has provided me with the perfect libation for upcoming Thanksgiving celebrations. All that’s missing is the turkey, potatoes and stuffing, but I’m working on it. Stinson also has drink suggestions for Christmas, Arbor Day, Independence Day, and Ramadan!

Drink #283: Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic

1.5 oz Vodka (I used Smirnoff Blueberry)
1 oz Southern Comfort
Top with half Orange Juice and half Sweet & Sour Mix
Splash of Grenadine
Garnish with Berries

Look forward to future posts about fictional companies, restaurants, sports teams, sodas, and just about anything else this old, battered mind can think up!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
Sadly, the tonic didn’t send Mrs. Sip and myself into the throes of passion (as it worked in the cartoon… let down by TV once again!). Despite that small discrepancy, this drink was pretty good. All the citrus and berry notes were very enjoyable and the liquors did their jobs, as well.