July 19 – Floater

Posted on July 19, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

All the Balls

After last week’s look at the best sports movies geared towards a family audience, it’s time to turn up the vulgarity and venture into the world of adult-oriented films… well, not those types of films, but the sports type for teens and adults. Here are the Top 5 grown up sports movies:

#5: Baseketball

From the creators of South Park (Trey Parker and Matt Stone), comes this farce about a world where sports superstars have become so overpaid and corporations dictate athletic competition. A universe where sportsmanship no longer exists and money is the root of all evil. Enter Cooper and Remer, who create a baseball-basketball-beer pong hybrid that eventually grows to become the next great sports phenomenon. Some of the team names from the movie are particularly clever, including the Dallas Felons, Miami Dealers, New Jersey Informants, and San Francisco Ferries (think about that one for a moment!).

#4: DodgeBall

The underdog story of a ragtag group trying to save their gym (Average Joe’s), as they dodge, dip, dive, duck, and yes, dodge again versus the super-charged squad of Globo-Gym, which is looking to buy out the smaller competition. The entire cast is hilarious in this movie (particularly, my boy Stephen Root) and the surprise cameos from some judges of the competitions are great as well. A sequel to the movie is in the works and both Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller are expected to reprise their roles. Hopefully they remember that if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!

#3: Happy Gilmore

Adam Sandler kept his string of 90’s hit movies going with this entry. The film sees aspiring hockey star – despite his awful skillset – jump into the world of professional golf, when he’s discovered by a one-handed golf course pro. Things become more serious for Gilmore when his grandma’s house is to be taken away and the only way to get it back is Gilmore’s success on the PGA Tour. In my opinion, along with the success of Tiger Woods, the popularity of this film launched a whole new generation of golf players and fans. Gilmore’s brawl with The Price is Right host, Bob Barker, is one of the best cameo scenes in movie history.

#2: Caddyshack

Times are changing at the Bushwood Country Club, as a new wave of members enter the fray, disrupting the once peaceful and pristine society. Bill Murray steals the show as groundskeeper Carl Spackler, particularly his improvised scene describing the Cinderella story of a hard luck golfer at Augusta, while teeing off on some of the club’s flowers. Others, such as Rodney Dangerfield and Ted Knight are perfect in their roles as combative members. It’s too bad that the sequel couldn’t live up to the original, but it’s still an okay romp. I especially enjoy it when the course is given miniature golf elements.

#1: Slap Shot

There are so many quotable lines in this classic. Paul Newman is awesome as the Charlestown Chief’s player-coach, Reggie Dunlop, and with other oddballs like the ultraviolent Hanson Brothers joining the squad, there’s plenty of characters to appreciate and enjoy. Many of the roles were based on real-life players. As a young kid growing up in hockey-mad Canada, this film was like a rite of passage, especially given its adult elements. I can’t say much for the two sequels that have come out in more recent years, but everyone out there, hockey fan or not, should give the original a viewing.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Floater

1 oz Vodka
Scoop of Peanut Butter
Dash of Chocolate Syrup

Who would have thought that two golf-themed films would crack this list? Even more surprising, not a single Will Ferrell sports movie made the Top 5… and I’m a huge Will Ferrell fan. Lastly, while they are made-for-TV documentaries, the Sip Advisor encourages everyone out there to check out ESPN’s 30-for-30 series and get your learn on!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
All I have to say about this shot is, think about the pool scene in Caddyshack… disgusting, indeed! You’re also supposed to garnish with shot with Corn, but I just couldn’t make that graphic leap. Given the shooter is straight vodka, it’s strong, but the Peanut Butter and Chocolate Sauce tame it a little… just not enough.

Italy – Sunday Confession

Posted on July 17, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Goodfellas

The term “mafia” comes from Sicily, Italy, and let’s be honest, the most famous of mobsters all hail from the Italian line of organized crime, also known as Cosa Nostra, which translated means “Our Thing.” And, it certainly is THEIR thing. While the term ‘Omertà’ governs the mafia with a code of silence, the Sip Advisor is breaking all the rules with our own ‘Most Wanted’ list of infamous Italian gangsters:

Vito Cascioferro

Thought of as the ‘Boss of Bosses’ during his reign at the top, Cascioferro was arrested approximately 69 times during his career, but always acquitted. His luck ran out in June 1930, when Cascioferro was tried for numerous offences, including murder, attempted murder, robbery, extortion, and other offences. He was convicted and given a life sentence. He died in prison somewhere between 1943-45, with many inmates considering it an honour to now fill the same jail cell.

Calogero Vizzini

Dubbed the ‘King of the Black Market,’ Vizzini was even made mayor of Villalba, Italy (where his crime family was based), following World War II. Vizzini’s death was big news, even reported by the New York Times. Thousands turned out for the leader’s funeral, including other bosses, politicians, and priests. Vizzini predicted that the mafia would die with him and the old-school version did slowly dissolve, but was replaced by a more modern mob that we recognize today.

Michele Navarra

The boss of the famed Corleone family (also used for the Godfather movies) from 1944-58, Navarra was also a trained physician and perhaps this is why he was more likely to delegate murders than commit them himself. Navarra was killed on August 2, 1958 after feuding with former associate Luciano Leggio, whom Navarra tried to have ambushed by 15 gunmen, yet somehow Leggio survived with only minor injuries. I’d question his leadership, too!

Luciano Leggio

Speaking of Leggio, he became the Corleone boss following Navarra’s death and is credited with starting the Second Mafia War. After a string of acquittals on various charges, Leggio finally found himself sentenced to life imprisonment for Navarra’s slaying, but disappeared, running a successful kidnapping ring while on the run. He was finally caught in 1974, but continued to have influence over the syndicate from behind bars. He died in prison, of a heart attack in 1993.

Salvatore Riina

After Leggio was arrested in the 1970’s, Riina eventually took over control of the Corleone family, which was ironic because he was one of the suspects in the assassination of Navarra. Riina was considered the ‘Boss of Bosses’ following the Second Mafia War. Nicknamed ‘The Beast,’ by fellow mobsters, this 5’2” leader used a campaign of violence to achieve power, killing rivals, as well as prosecutors and other government officials. Riina was arrested in 1993, after 23 years as a fugitive.

Bernardo Provenzano

One of the most powerful Sicilian bosses of all-time, Provenzano followed Riina as leader of the Corleone family. Once at the helm, Provenzano worked to change the perception of the mafia to being less violent, more diplomatic and willing to work with established institutions. Under the new guidelines, violence was only to be used if absolutely necessary. Despite all that, Provenzano spent more than 40 years evading police capture, before authorities finally arrested him in April 2006.

Italy: Sunday Confession

1 oz Limoncello
1 oz Tequila
Splash of Lemon Juice
Top with Ginger Ale
Garnish with a Cherry

This all has me wanting to go back and watch some of the best mafia media. Take your pick, but my favourites include The Godfather franchise, Goodfellas, The Sopranos, and Donnie Brasco. Perhaps I’ll have to do a future article on fictional mobsters… so long as they make me an offer I can’t refuse!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This cocktail has a perfect name for a mafia-related article, although confession would certainly go against the Omertà code of silence. I used Cranberry Ginger Ale instead of the recommended Ginger Beer because it seemed like a good idea and it worked out really well. Limoncello and Tequila was a decent mix, too.

Italy – The Winkle

Posted on July 14, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Sicilian Slice

The modern pizza was invented in Naples, Italy and god bless them for doing so. Throughout the Sip Advisor’s life, pizza has always remained at or near the top of my favourite foods list. I don’t care that it’s not exactly a healthy choice and often falls under the junk food category… it’s god damn delicious!

The term ‘pizza’ can be traced all the way back to the year 997 AD in the city of Gaeta, Italy. Before that, flat breads called foccasia were garnished with a variety of toppings, but were usually sweet dishes, rather than savoury. In the 18th century, the people of Naples began adding tomatoes to the mix and thus the modern pizza was born, before spreading around the world thanks to Italian immigrants.

The thing I love about pizza is its versatility. It’s great upon first serving and a rare food item that can be better reheated later or even scarfed down cold, straight out of the fridge. It’s the perfect breakfast – especially after a night of hard drinking – as it doesn’t take much effort to prepare while you’re still a little fuzzy. Apparently, I’m not alone, as 36% of Americans think it makes the perfect morning meal.

As of 2012, there were 11,139 Pizza Hut outlets across 94 countries. Pizza Hut’s largest competitor, Domino’s Pizza, has more than 10,000 stores and is the world leader in delivery services. Along with these two giants are so many other companies hawking bread, cheese, sauce, and toppings, totaling more than five billion pizzas sold every year, with more than half of those sales occurring in the United States.

The largest pizza ever made weighed 12.9 tons and was created at the Norwood Pick ‘n Pay in Johannesburg, South Africa, in 1990. The pie had a diameter of 37.4 meters (122 feet, 8 inches) and used 500kg of flour, 800kg of cheese, and 900kg of tomato sauce.

The most expensive pizza ever made included ingredients such as sunblush-tomato sauce, Scottish smoked salmon, venison medallions, lobster marinated in gognac, champagne-soaked caviar, and even edible gold. Made by restaurant owner Domenico Crolla, the pizza was auctioned for charity and raised 2,150 pounds. The most expensive regularly sold pizza can be found at Gordon Ramsay’s restaurant Maze, in London. Each serving will set you back 100 pounds, not to mention the weight that will be added to your waistline.

If you’re having a massive party, you could consider hitting up Big Mama’s and Papa’s Pizzeria in California, where you can purchase a pizza that measures 4’6” x 4’6” and serves anywhere from 50-100 people. Just make sure that competitive food eater Joey Chestnut isn’t on the guest list, as the dude set the world record for most pizza slices eaten in 10 minutes when he polished off 40 ½ slices.

Brooklyn, New York’s Scott Wiener (heh, wiener!) owns the world’s largest pizza box collection. As of late 2013, he has amassed 595 pizza boxes from 45 different countries. He only began collecting in 2008 after grabbing some ‘za in Israel and admiring the box there. Wiener’s favourite piece in his collection is a box from the Netherlands which features characters similar to Homer and Bart Simpson. Not content to just receive a certificate from the Guinness Records folks, Wiener has even released a book, Viva La Pizza, chronicling some of the world’s most artistic pizza boxes.

Pepperoni is the most popular topping worldwide, but so many specialty pizzas have popped up over the years thanks to this wonderful gastronomic invention. Let’s take a look at some of these “gourmet” options from around the globe:

Africa: The Africana pizza includes meat (ham/beef/chicken), peanuts, banana, pineapple, onion, and curry powder. I can’t say I’ve ever had a pizza with peanuts or banana, but it has me thinking about some of the combos the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles came up with back in the day.

Australia: Known as The Aussie, Australian, or Australiana, this pizza takes your traditional base of marinara sauce and cheese, but then puts bacon and eggs on top. That sounds like a hell of a way to get your breakfast in at all times of the day!

Canada: The Canadian pizza isn’t very elaborate, combining bacon, pepperoni, and mushrooms. I think if our country had a do-over, we’d come up with something involving poutine, maple syrup, and hockey tape to hold it all together!

Caribbean: I’m not sure which exact country you can attach this recipe to, but mixing barbeque sauce, chicken, pineapple, onion, and green peppers sounds like something I’d want to lay claim to if I belonged to any of these island nations.

France: The French pizza has seemingly normal toppings (chicken, mushrooms, peppers, olives) until you get to its sauce: Dijon mustard. While this would be something I’d try, Mrs. Sip would not be happy to find the yellow stuff on her meal.

Greece: The Greek pizza usually features olives, feta cheese, green peppers, and tomatoes… all the ingredients that make up a Greek salad. In the best scenarios chicken souvlaki is also thrown into the mix and if the Sip Advisor was running the show, he’d drizzle some tzatziki sauce all over that bad boy!

Indonesia: The Balinese pizza comes with shredded pork, roasted red peppers, and garlic. At least they’re not using the monkeys found all over the island for toppings… those little buggers may have attacked Mrs. Sip and I, but I still love them.

Jamaican: Jerk Chicken is at the heart of this pizza, which frankly is Jamaican me hungry!

Mexico: The Mexican or Mexicana pizza usually involves ingredients one would find on tacos and other Americanized fare from the country. This includes ground beef, jalapenos, onions, tomatoes, chili, avocado, peppers, etc. The cheese on the Mexican pizza is sometimes modified to be of the pepper jack variety to help add another dash of spice to the recipe.

Portugal: Portuguese pizzas include Portuguese sausage, onions, and bell peppers. This pie may not be for the weak of heart.

Thailand: Thai pizzas are highlighted by Thai chicken and also include peanut sauce, bean sprouts, and shaved carrots. Pizzas may not be the healthiest of food, but that mix doesn’t sound as artery clogging as others.

United States: The Hawaiian is probably the U.S.’s most recognized pizza, combining ham and pineapple, but there are other options, including Santa Fe, with spiced chicken and the Californian, featuring club sandwich ingredients, such as avocado and bacon. The U.S. is also famous for all the different style of pizza, such as Chicago deep dish, Detroit twice-baked, New York thin crust, St. Louis rectangle slices, and New Haven no cheese.

Italy: The Winkle

Muddle Raspberries and Sage
1.5 oz Gin
1 oz Limoncello
Splash of Lime Juice
Dash of Simple Syrup
Garnish with a Sage Sprig

Pizza should be celebrated, so why not observe National Pizza Month, which occurs every October in the U.S. You could also attend the annual International Pizza Expo, which takes place in Las Vegas every March. Either way, make sure to enjoy as much pizza pie goodness as you can and thank those crazy Italians for coming up with this culinary gem!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I absolutely loved this martini, although everyone I told to try a sip wasn’t in agreement with ol’ Mr. Sip. The Sage was a unique ingredient that I’ve never used before this. The Gin and Limoncello worked together in perfect harmony… kind of like cheese, bread, and tomato sauce!

July 12 – Three Strikes

Posted on July 12, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Anything Can Happen

Oddly enough, summer is the time when I like to get into sports movies. Perhaps that makes sense, given it’s the off-season for most of the leagues out there. There were so many films I wanted to include on this list, that I’ve decided to split them over two articles, with one being family-friendly movies and the other to do with adult-themed releases. This week, we’ll check out the family options, while next week we’ll get a little raunchier and surpass the PG rating:

#5: Cool Runnings

How could you not get behind this ragtag group of Jamaicans as they try to compete in a sport they really have no business participating in and go on to earn the respect and admiration of their fellow athletes. While the film depicts the team being scoffed at in the beginning, in actuality, they were welcomed by their adversaries and were even lent a sled that helped them qualify. Creative liberties are okay, though. The casting of Doug E. Doug was a particularly brilliant choice, as the comedian-actor was popular at the time and broke up all the sports seriousness. Anything with John Candy is also worth a view.

#4: Bad News Bears

This was your prototypical group of misfits coming together in the name of sports premise, before the genre ever existed. Some of the kids that make up the Bad News Bears are reason enough to never have children and the film should be used as a planned parenting advert. Walter Matthau as Morris Buttermaker was a great casting choice. He’s perfect for roles as a grouchy slob, who would rather drink a beer and catch a nap in a comfy recliner than do anything else in the world. That’s probably why he’s one of my favourite actors of all-time! Surprisingly, I’ve never seen either of the sequels to this classic and not the remake either.

#3: A League of Their Own

The story of women’s baseball and how it helped fill the sporting void left by men being shipped off to battle during World War II is so much better than it sounds on paper. Just kidding all you feminist sippers out there. Seriously, this is a fantastic movie, following a pair of sisters as the league tries to gain credibility during one of the roughest times in human history. With Tom Hanks playing the team’s oft-drunk manager and having to handle the issues of a girls’ team for the first time in his coaching career (there’s no crying in baseball… unless a modern male pitcher has a hangnail!), I can even forgive the casting of Madonna and Rosie O’Donnell.

#2: The Sandlot

This is such a great movie, pushing folks to look back fondly on their days of neighbourhood sports. Every kid who ever played street hockey, or met at the nearest baseball diamond for a game of ball can relate to this film, which goes back in time to follow the adventures of the new kid in town as he gains friends and experiences the joys of childhood freedom. Roger Ebert compared the movie to a summertime version of A Christmas Story, which is high praise, as far as the Sip Advisor is concerned. The film has become a cult favourite and that’s exactly what it should be.

#1: Mighty Ducks

While the third installment might as well have been direct-to-video, the first two movies are childhood classics. As a young hockey player, it was inspiring to see a group of bad players be transformed into a skilled team… the downside was the mounting number of times we tried to execute the Flying-V play to little success. As if Emilio Estevez wasn’t a legend already, this series made his aura grow exponentially and no player out there didn’t want to have Gordon Bombay behind their bench. Disney even turned the success of the movie into its own NHL franchise, the Anaheim Mighty Ducks (now just the Ducks), although they sold the team in 2005.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Three Strikes

0.5 oz Cinnamon Schnapps
0.5 oz Jagermeister
0.5 oz Yukon Jack Perma Frost
Garnish with Big League Chew

I have to say that for some reason, I love baseball movies. I’m a steadfast non-supporter of the actual sport, but I love me a good baseball flick. Stay tuned next week for our look at the best adult sports movies and even more ball and bat goodness!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I’ve wanted to garnish a drink with Big League Chew for some time now and this was the perfect opportunity to finally do so, melding baseball and childhood all in one. Did I mention that the Big League Chew flavour was Ground Ball Grape! The actual name for this recipe is “Three Strikes, You’re Out,” but I chose to cut the title in half. The shot is quite strong with competing flavours of cinnamon, peppermint and other spices. It’s not bad, but it’s one that will sit in your gut for some time.

Scotland – Macbeth’s Dream

Posted on July 10, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Land of Make Believe

When picking what to write about for our visit to Scotland, golf was an obvious choice. And while there was an abundance of options for a second article, I kept being steered towards fictional characters. Rather than spend a fair bit of time on only one of these individuals, I’ve decided to split my time and cover the gamut of my favourite Scots. Hell, even some of Scotland’s most famous real-life citizens have been largely fictionalized in media portrayals following their deaths. So, let’s take a look at some of these fine fictional figures:

Scrooge McDuck

An all-time favourite character of the Sip Advisor, Scrooge McDuck can do no wrong. Do you know that he has even invited me over for a swim in his vault? Physics be damned, we had a hell of a time wading through all his gold and jewels. There’s a great DuckTales episode where Scrooge and family return to his native Scotland and Castle McDuck, which is being haunted by druids and a ghost hound. The fictional McDuck has actually been honoured in Glasgow as a famous citizen of the city.

William Wallace

Braveheart is a wicked awesome movie and can be forgiven for all of the creative license the production took on the real-life version of Scotland’s fight for independence. Wallace (or at least his fictionalized version) is a born leader, who has been wronged too many times by the ruling English. In response, he pulls together an army of like-minded Scots to finally take arms against the English and win back their land. I won’t spoil the story, but let’s just say things could have turned out better.

Merida

Brave centers on this young Scottish princess, who isn’t ready to take on the role she is destined for. She wants to get dirty, ride horses, and shoot her bow and arrow. She certainly doesn’t want to be married off to a boy she’s never met or be responsible for ruling over her subjects. This difference of opinion causes a rift between Merida and her mother and an errant use of magic makes matter worse. Can the curse be reversed in time, restoring peace and order to the Scottish Highlands?

Loch Ness Monster

Without the advent of ol’ Nessie, I don’t think many people would travel to Loch Ness. While the area looks beautiful, the real drawing power here is the legend of the monster. Similar legends of underwater creatures exist around the world (including the Ogopogo, just a few hours away from the Sip Advisor’s home base), but the Loch Ness version is by far the most famous. To be fair, she was discovered by Mr. Burns on an episode of The Simpsons, so perhaps all the sightings weren’t hoaxes.

Groundskeeper Willie

Speaking of The Simpsons, one of the funniest secondary characters on the show has to be this cynical, downtrodden Scotsman. The often kilt-clad Willie hails from Kirkwall in Orkney, a dispute that had to be settled when both Glasgow and Aberdeen laid claim to the groundskeeper. Much humour is derived from other characters not being able to understand what Willie is saying and also his penchant for ripping his clothes off to reveal a ripped and toned body.

Shrek

Sticking with the animated world, Shrek may be based off other nationalities (thought to be a stereotype of medieval Hungarians), but his voice is 100% Scottish. The role was originally intended for Bill Murray and later Chris Farley, before Mike Myers joined the project. After watching a rough cut, Myers asked to re-voice the character with a Scottish accent (which he also used as Fat Bastard in the Austin Powers franchise) and the rest is fairytale history.

Macbeth

This Shakespearean play (one of the original game of thrones) is based off the real-life King Macbeth of Scotland, although ol’ Billy Shakes takes Macbeth and makes him a regicidal anti-hero, who kills for the role of ruler. Because of his actions, Macbeth’s conscience won’t let him enjoy his ascension and when his wife, Lady Macbeth, goes crazy from guilt – despite pushing her husband into the whole scheme – both are tragically dealt with in typical Shakespeare style.

Montgomery Scott

Whenever Captain Kirk demanded, “Beam me up, Scotty!” he was referring to Montgomery Scott, the engineer of the USS Enterprise. Scott, in the original Star Trek series, was actually played by Canadian, James Doohan, who auditioned for the role using a variety of accents. Creator Gene Roddenberry settled on the Scottish accent, when Doohan explained that the Scots had a storied history of nautical engineering. Ironically, the character was almost completely cut from the series.

Scotland: Macbeth’s Dream

2 oz Scotch
0.25 oz Triple Sec
0.25 oz Amaretto
Splash of Lemon Juice
Dash of Orange Bitters
Pinch of Sugar
Garnish with an Orange Slice

In closing, it should be pointed out that the Sip Advisor is actually the greatest fictional character of Scottish descent. Hailing from the Clan Wilson, makers of fine scotch, bagpipes, and kilts, we also took the legend of Rob Roy and turned it into a cocktail!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I think this recipe ended up being a little too sweet thanks to ingredients like Triple Sec, Amaretto, and the Sugar. That said, it went down easy enough and the Scotch had its typical smoky finish to boot.

Scotland – Hole-in-One

Posted on July 7, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Teeing Off

Golf was invented in Scotland in the 15th century and soon after came the legendary Old Course at St. Andrews. The Sip Advisor won’t bore all you little sippers with the details of how the game came to be, likely because there is way too much debate over those facts and laziness is a hell of a drug. Instead, let’s take a look at some of the wilder facts about the game:

Golf was actually banned in Scotland by the Scottish Parliament on three separate occasions, as the government believed the game was causing citizens to neglect their military training, particularly learning archery. These bans occurred in 1457, 1471, and 1491.

A number of celebrities and sports stars are known for their golf game and this has bred the popularity of Pro-Am tournaments. Michael Jordan, Bill Murray, Samuel L. Jackson, Jack Nicholson, and Wayne Gretzky all have a penchant for the links. On the female side of the ledger, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Cameron Diaz are known to get their swing on. There are also a number of high-profile folk who have invested in golf course ownership. This list includes Clint Eastwood, Justin Timberlake, Willie Nelson, and Celine Dion.

Great golf movies to check out include: Caddyshack (plus its sequel), Happy Gilmore, Tin Cup, and The Legend of Bagger Vance. Bill Murray’s famous ‘Cinderella Story’ scene from Caddyshack was completely improvised and is perhaps the best part of the entire movie.

Along with javelin (I can’t believe an astronaut actually packed a spear with him), golf is one of only two sports to be played on the moon. As part of the Apollo 14 space mission in 1971, astronaut Alan Shepard brought along a 6-iron and hit a one-handed shot (it was all he could manage given his bulky suit) which will eventually return to earth as an unstoppable meteor, causing mass chaos and human extinction.

Most are unclear as to where all the bird names (birdie, eagle, etc.) for golf shots came from, but the Sip Advisor is here to settle the matter, at least for birdies. In 1889, George Crump hit a bird with his first shot. On his second attempt, he hit the ball mere inches from the hole (a putt he easily made later, giving him a one-under par score for the hole). The Smith brothers, whom Crump was playing with called it “a bird of a shot” and that later became a birdie, as the term spread through their club and then across the country.

Sticking with the golfer’s glossary, a hole-in-one (known as an ace) is golf’s greatest shot, but it can be even better. If hit on a par four, the player has scored an albatross, while if the rare feat is achieved on a par five, it’s known as a condor. Only four condors have been recorded and verified in history.

One of the most unique golf courses in the world exists in Nunavit, Canada, where a nine-hole tournament is played each year for the Toonik Tyme Festival. Golfers battle freezing conditions, a course made up of sheets of ice and snow, and use fluorescent balls to get their round in. The highest golf course in the world is located in Morococha, Peru, where the Tactu Golf Club can be found 14,335 feet above sea level.

Little guy probably plays better than the Sip Advisor!

If you want to play some of the best golf courses in the world, you better start saving now. Aside from the astonishing cost to become a member at some of these clubs – New Jersey’s Liberty National Golf Club (where Phil Mickelson and Eli Manning are members) has a membership price tag of $250,000, plus yearly dues of $25,000 – even many public courses will take a serious chunk out of your wallet. Shadow Creek Golf Course in Las Vegas is the most expensive at a whopping $500 per 18 holes.

There are some great pro golfer nicknames out there. Some of the best include: Wild Thing for John Daly, the beer-drinking, heavy-smoking, trailer-living, lovable star; Halimoney for Hal Sutton, who is thrice divorced; Aquaman for Woody Austin, who once fell into a lake following a shot at the 2007 President’s Cup; and Smiling Assassin for Shigeki Maruyama, a Japanese player, whose facial expression is locked on smile, regardless of his performance.

Before tees were invented, golfers would build mounds of sand to hit their shots off of. It’s amazing how the smallest piece of wood can make such a huge difference… like they say, it’s not the size of the tool, it’s how you use it!

One last little nugget of info to blow your mind: there are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball. Can you imagine the insanity of the person who actually took the time to count these indentations? What if he lost count halfway through and had to start over again? That would drive someone to drink!

Scotland: Hole-in-One

1.5 oz Scotch
Top with Iced Tea and Lemonade
Garnish with a Lemon Wheel

When I was 13, I became wildly interested in golf. While that passion petered out when I realized I wasn’t any good at the game, I did make one hole-in-one during my brief career. Hole #15 at the Sunshine Woods Golf Club will always be in my memories thanks to that great day. Amazingly, one of the guys in the pair my friend and I were playing with that day, scored an ace earlier in our round on hole #6.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I really liked this cocktail. I know Scotch isn’t traditionally meant to be mixed, but this was a good coming together of flavours. If you like your drinks strong, but easier to down than straight booze, then this is a recipe you should seriously consider.

July 5 – Too Cool for School

Posted on July 5, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Teacher’s Pet

I have never felt comfortable in a teacher or trainer position and while these folks only play the role on TV and in movies, they do a pretty damn good job of it. I tip my metaphorical hat and give them my full attention. Here are the top five educators in media:

#5: Mr. Feeny – Boy Meets World

Guide and neighbour to the young, impressionable Cory Matthews, Mr. Feeny will always be remembered as the voice of Knight Rider… I mean as the voice of reason when Cory was facing a dilemma at school or in his personal life. As the kids moved from grade school to high school to college, Feeny came along with them, jumping from teacher to administrator to professor to pedo… no, he never went that far. When you really think about it, though, how awful would it be to live next door to your teacher/principal/professor? He’d always know what you were up to and there’d be no separation of school and not school.

#4: Mr. Belding – Saved by the Bell

Mr. Belding is the authority figure children of the 80’s most identify with, as a school disciplinarian. His many run-ins with Zack Morris and the gang led to many of our fondest childhood memories and without him, we probably wouldn’t realize that principals actually do have a heart and are, in fact, real people. Belding was not without his faults, though. His relationship with his students bordered on creepy. He had a guy’s night with Zack, Slater and Screech, eating pizza and talking philosophically with the boys in Zack’s bedroom. What kind of absentee parents would allow this to happen under their own roof?

#3: Mr. Garrison – South Park

Mr. Garrison, has gone from Mr. to Mrs. and back to Mr. again. He’s been straight, gay, lesbian and even hat-sexual. While dealing with the potty-mouthed children at South Park Elementary, Garrison is just as likely to be caught cursing up a storm and acting as childishly as his students. His antics have resulted in his being fired or suspended on a few occasions and he seems to suffer from a number of mental health issues. Whether it be Mr. or Mrs. or something completely different, Garrison is one of the funniest recurring characters on the show and being in his classroom would be a very unique experience.

#2: Dean Pelton – Community

Much like Belding, Dean Pelton has an odd affiliation with his student body, particularly that of Jeff Winger, unofficial leader of everyone’s favourite study group. While he just wants to better the image of his school, he goes about it in all the wrong ways, often leading to mass chaos on the campus. For example, end-of-the-year paintball tournaments have turned the community college into a post-apocalyptic warzone. If that is enough to make you want to enrol at the school, which for the Sip Advisor it is, then well done Dean… mission accomplished!

#1: Principal Skinner – The Simpsons

Perhaps the longest running school official and therefore, the most famous on this list, Skinner has a tough job, trying to operate Springfield Elementary on a shoestring budget and dealing with delinquents like Bart Simpson and below-average intelligence pupils, such as Ralph Wiggum. When he’s not challenged by the student body, he has to deal with Superintendent Chalmers breathing down his neck. And did you know that he’s not even the real principal Skinner??? Oh wait, we were supposed to completely forget that ever happened. My bad.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Too Cool for School

Rim glass with Coconut Shavings
0.3 oz Coconut Rum
0.3 oz Mango Rum
0.3 oz Blue Curacao
0.3 oz Orange Juice
0.3 oz Pineapple Juice

Honourable mentions include Gabe Kotter (Welcome Back Kotter), Peggy Hill (King of the Hill), and anything Ben Stein does (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off/The Wonder Years). I only include them so as to avoid the omnipotent threat of detention!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Yet another cocktail I had to convert into a shot for my own purposes… what is this world coming to!? The shot was heavy with tropical juices, but it was nice to have the Mango and Coconut Rums come in with the aftertaste. This shooter provided my first opportunity to use the Bols Blue Curacao foam I picked up in Europe and I think I’ll have a lot of fun playing with this neat product in the future!

Chile – Ménage à Trois

Posted on July 3, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Mine Craft

In 2010 the world was captivated by the story of 33 Chilean miners who were trapped underground for an astonishing 69 days – kind of ironic given the title of today’s cocktail! – before being rescued. That’s three sets of digits I’ve thrown your way already and here’s some more, as we look at the Copiapó mining accident by the numbers:

August 5th – When the mine collapse first occurred, as a result of a cave-in. No souls were ever lost in my mashed potato mine cave-ins, but to this day, gravy is still cursed in the region.

15 Minutes – Duration of the claustrophobic ride to safety inside the rescue capsule… soon to be an attraction at Disneyland: Chile.

17 Days – When the first contact between rescuers and miners was made. The survivors had taped a note to a drill bit that was exploring the mine shaft, hoping to find signs of life. I’m a little surprised endorsement deals weren’t handed out by 3M or other companies claiming it was their tape that was used in the communication.

This was requested by two trapped Australian miners in 2006… whatever the Chilean miners asked for, they asked wrong!

18 Pounds – The average weight each man lost by the time the group was discovered still alive. All you little sippers out there should take note that this is a steadfast way to drop some pounds and get back into shape.

21 Inches – The size in diameter of the rescue capsule. Some might describe the shape of the pod as bullet-like, but others might come to a more phallic conclusion.

24 Hours – How long the entire rescue operation took to extract all the men who had been buried. That sounds about right, as it takes me about 24 hours to get myself out of any hot water with Mrs. Sip.

The 33 – Name of the feature film being made on the entire ordeal. It’s set to star Antonio Banderas and Martin Sheen. Jennifer Lopez was once attached to the project and despite no women being among the trapped, you can bet Lopez would have seen a fair bit of screen time (largely shot from behind!) in some sort of grieving role.

54 Years Old – The age of foreman Luis Urzúa, who is largely credited with leading the group of miners through their ordeal. He was the last man to be raised to the surface. Having a drink with this hombre would be quite the experience.

121 Years Old – The age of the Copiapó copper-gold mine, which lacked proper escape equipment such as ladders in the ventilation shafts and up-to-date maps. To be fair, all 121-year-olds operate without all the necessary faculties.

If it wasn’t 33 dudes trapped, I bet it wouldn’t have taken 69 days for a successful rescue!

540 Square Feet – The size of the emergency shelter the miners were forced to occupy. That’s smaller than my apartment and Mrs. Sip and I often get in each other’s way as just two people.

2,300 Feet – How deep the miners were trapped. That’s like Jules Verne’s Journey to the Center of the Earth, one of many books I never quite finished!

$20,000,000 – The cost of the entire rescue operation, which was paid for by private donations, the mine owners, and the government. That $20 million could have gone to funding this site with an endless supply and selection of booze.

October 13th – The rescue effort is deemed a success with the final miner emerging from their tomb. Now let’s drink to their achievement and well-being!

Chile: Ménage à Trois

1.5 oz Pisco
2 oz Riesling Wine
Splash of Sour Mix
Dash of Simple Syrup
Garnish with Grapes

Aren’t numbers fun! I feel like the Count from Sesame Street right now… minus the accent, fangs, and cape. I do have the monocle however!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This drink was a mix of sweet and sour thanks to the Riesling Wine/Simple Syrup and Pisco/Sour Mix, respectively. The Grape garnishes were a nice touch and I don’t get to play with them often enough.

Chile – Pisco Sour

Posted on July 1, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Island Hopping

As we make our way to the country of Chile (not the food, although that sounds pretty good too and would go well with today’s drink) the Sip Advisor makes a point of learning something new every day… and today’s fresh factoid is a doozy: Did you know that Easter Island, located among the Polynesian islands and home to the Moai statues, is actually Chilean land? The more you know *rainbow star swipe*! Let’s take a closer look at this mysterious island:

The entire island, also known as Rapa Nui, is a UNESCO World Heritage Site, as it offers a spectacular chance for researchers to learn about some of the world’s earliest civilizations. The Moai statues, for which the Easter Island is best known, were constructed between 1100-1680 CE. 887 of the figures have been catalogued and it’s estimated that each statue took one year to complete and was carved by a team, using volcanic ash from the extinct Rano Raraku volcano. Each sculpture represented the deceased head of a family.

The Moai civilization believed that the dead provided everything their people needed, including health, successful crops, good fortune, etc. Most Moai settlements were located along the coast and that is why the statues are found there, facing inwards to look over the people and with their back to the spirit world of the sea.

The Birdmen Cult, whose leader could be anyone from wrestler Koko B. Ware to basketball star Chris Andersen (both enjoyed careers with the nickname Birdman), also once inhabited the island, following the Moai era. Also known as Tangatu Manu, they form a large part of the Rapa Nui mythology and their decorations can still be found at churches on Easter Island.

Easter Island covers only 63 square miles and is one of the world’s most isolated locations, inhabited by a population of only 4,781, as of 2009. Back in the day, constant clashes between tribes occurred on the small space and with limited resources and disease, it wasn’t long before the island fell to pieces. Chile gained control of Easter Island in 1888 and used it as an expansive sheep farm, protected by the Chilean Navy, until opening it to the public in 1966. At that time, the leftover Rapa Nui citizens were made people of Chile.

As a massive fan of water, the Sip Advisor finds it incredibly disappointing that Easter Island lacks any freshwater source. That said, it is a freakin’ island, which receives a fair amount of rain. For this Vancouverite, it would certainly feel like home. Tourists can stay on Easter Island, but like other remote locations, goods and services can be much more expensive than in other parts of the world. The area is accessible by the Mataveri International Airport.

You might be asking: What else is there to do on Easter Island, other than view the statues. Well, part of the Red Bull Cliff Diving World Series is held there, giving the Sip Advisor and fellow thrill-seekers a chance to join the Moai with smushed-in faces. Fishing is also a popular activity, as is watching the beautiful Polynesian women dance in revealing outfits!

In recent years, Easter Island has been cited as an example of what can happen when natural resources are mass consumed, which caused its basic extinction at one point in history. The island has been used as a metaphor by some scientists to show what could happen if the earth’s population doesn’t change its ways, although there are also opponents to this example.

Chile: Pisco Sour

2 oz Pisco
Top with Lemon Juice
Dash of Simple Syrup
Splash of Egg Whites
Dash of Angostura Bitters
Garnish with a Lemon Wedge

If I know Mrs. Sip as well as I think I do, then you can bet we will one day travel to this unique destination. Hopefully they serve drinks in Moai statue-themed glasses and they’re not one of those anti-alcohol locales!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This is one of Mrs. Sip’s favourite cocktails, although she enjoyed them in Peru, instead of Chile. It was a first try for me, as I kept saving the cocktail for when this project rolled around. I enjoyed it, but I wonder what the drink would taste like with Lemonade subbed in for the Lemon Juice? I’ll have to give that a try at some point. For those who haven’t yet tried Pisco, it reminds me of Tequila, but it perhaps a little sweeter.

June 28 – Surfer on Acid

Posted on June 28, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Summer Fun

With summer just kicking off, people out there might be making lists of the things they want to accomplish throughout the season. Here are some of the items that routinely appear at the top of Mrs. Sip’s and my summer bucket list… we hope we can be of assistance to all you little sippers out there:

#5: Picnic in the Park

The Sip Advisor makes a damn good sandwich and there’s nothing better than finding a nice quiet spot in the park to enjoy your own creation. If you’re lazy, you can always get someone else to make the sandwich for you (I’ve heard a place called Subway has decent hoagies) and then you know it will be done properly. Make sure to grab some good sides and snacks to round out the meal and be ready for dessert, too. If you can sneak some wine into your setting, then definitely go for it. All that’s left is to bring a comfy blanket along because you’ll probably be in the mood for a nap!

#4: Getting Active

After spending many months cooped up in a small, crowded gym, it’s nice to get out into the great outdoors for some exercise. Whether rollerblading or biking, Mrs. Sip and I love the downtown Vancouver seawall route, which takes you through picturesque Stanley Park. As one would expect, given its name, the seawall offers some stunning scenery, as you roll through beach after beach. It’s not my cup of tea, but I’ve heard hiking is also popular during the summer. You could even be one of those kooks that does their yoga or tai chi outdoors. Just get off the couch and get outside!

#3: Drive-In Theatre

While these amazing places seem to be a dying breed, if you have one even remotely nearby I whole-heartedly suggest you check out a couple flicks there. It’s always fun to go snack shopping prior to the night out and given most of the theatre’s revenue comes in the form of food sales, we’re always sure to make a couple purchases there, too. For the price of one movie in a normal theatre, you can get two or three at the drive-in and best of all, you can actually talk to your vehicle-mates throughout, without being a bother to over viewers. Trying to stay up until the wee hours of the morning (if you’re going for three films) can be daunting for some.

#2: Drinking on Patios

You know that summer has officially arrived in this part of the world when the patios open up and folks can be seen enjoying their libations in the fresh air. Once the first glimmer of sun peaks its way through the rain clouds, it can be tough to get a spot on any of the city’s spectacular decks, but it’s worth the wait to be able to enjoy a beverage while people watching or getting reacquainted with friends that have hibernated through the winter. This wonderful experience also applies to the decks of your mate’s homes, where you don’t have to worry about exorbitant prices for cocktails.

#1: Drinking Poolside

Of course, to achieve this, you either need to have your own cement pond, or have a generous friend who doesn’t mind sharing theirs. I, of course, am the latter in that statement and I love throwing parties for my crew, where all that is required is a pair of swim trunks and some flippy-floppies (plus a case of beer) for good times to ensue. As day turns to night and all inhibitions are drowned by booze, it might be time to lose those coverings and go for an incredibly liberating skinny dip. Luckily, there’s always someone too conservative to join in, so make sure to make them the beer wench for the late night shenanigans!

Super Saturday Shot Day: Surfer on Acid

0.5 oz Coconut Rum
0.5 oz Jagermeister
Splash of Pineapple Juice
Garnish with Pineapple Wedges

Honourable mentions go to watching fireworks, barbecuing, camping, and going to the fair. You’ll notice that “Going to the Beach” is absent from my ‘To Do’ list. Need I remind all you little sippers that the Sip Advisor doesn’t like sand. When I have access to swimmable water in a private setting, why would I ever go to the poor man’s pool? Your hate mail is always welcome!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This shooter was pretty good and I like that the Pineapple Juice component was minimal. A funny story: To get the Pineapple Wedges, I bought a couple slices of Hawaiian pizza and plucked the garnishes off for later use. When I finally used the pieces, I could still taste the pizza flavours, such as ham and tomato sauce. Ah, memories!