September 6 – Wonderful Night

Time of Your Life

“Mr. Sip Advisor, this is your life!”… that’s how the show detailing some of my greatest triumphs would start. Every day is amazing for me, but some reach a level of infamy that leave it permanently burned into my brain. Good thing, too, cause with all the alcohol… wait, what were we talking about? You may quickly notice a trend in that my relationship with Mrs. Sip factors into a lot of these tales, but that shouldn’t be a surprise to any of you little sippers. Here are a few of the greatest days of my life:

Wedding Day – August 25, 2012

Well, this one was an obvious choice. I’m not one to hog attention or anything like that, but on your wedding day, everyone is there for YOU. Thankfully, the bride gets more attention than the groom (which allows the groom to more easily sneak out and enjoy some beers in the parking lot with his groomsmen). Our wedding was amazing, complete with wonderful weather, touching speeches, amazing food, a wonderful candy buffet, a rocking live band (Vancouver’s Bobcats), and fantastic drinks to boot. You plan so diligently for one day and then it’s gone. Happily, everything went according to plan and I wouldn’t change a thing.

wedding-cost

Engagement – December 25, 2010

Backtracking a little, as we approached Christmas Day 2010, Mrs. Sip had no clue what was about to happen to her life. Perhaps if she did know, we wouldn’t have both got sick and spent Christmas Eve bundled up and passing out to Neo-Citron servings, all while watching the god-awful Babes in Toyland. It was our first Christmas living together and I wanted to make it especially memorable. I’d had the ring since September and was able to keep the whole thing a secret from everyone except my future father-in-law. Christmas Day finally arrived and I popped the question. Thankfully, Mrs. Sip didn’t hesitate in saying yes. That day, we were able to announce to both our families that we were now engaged… well, I had to do all that work, as Mrs. Sip completely lost her voice in all the excitement!

Christopher Titus Show – April 12, 2013

Taking a brief break from relationship milestones, we have this wonderful day in Sip history, which I have this site to thank for the entire experience, as I checked Titus’ tour schedule while researching an article and discovered he would be in Tacoma, WA at the Tacoma Comedy Club. Mrs. Sip, always up for a wild time, instantly said yes to going and we booked our tickets. Dinner at Red Lobster and my first BevMo visit were precursors to a fantastic night of comedy. Titus did over an hour of work, followed by a half-hour long encore, and even met with audience members afterwards. Following the show, still buzzing from what a great night it had been (and the great drinks that the Club makes), Mrs. Sip and I cracked a bottle of wine at 2:30 am. I was up until 4am thinking about everything good in life before finishing the last drops and finally getting some rest.

First Bungee Jump – December 2, 2008

Any day that starts with McDonald’s is a good one in my books, but all the things that followed made it truly amazing! After a lunch that included a treasure childhood treat in shaker fries, Mrs. Sip and I made our way to the Taupo Bungy location. I was a little nervous the entire walk there, but there was no way I was going to back out. I’d wanted to do this for years. After signing away my life, I was strapped into the jumping gear and led out onto a platform high above the water below. Looking down, I couldn’t believe I was about to leap into thin air and before I knew it, I was hurdling through the sky. All that excitement was followed by a trip to a hot spring with beers in hand, as we drank the night away!

Asking Mrs. Sip Out – March 22, 2002

Of course, anytime in Disneyland – the happiest place on earth, you know – is special, but the energy level is heightened even more when you’re pursuing a lovely girl, with the hopes of busting out of your shy shell and asking her out on a date. Cousin Sip was playing matchmaker and things were going well in the couple evenings we were able to all hang out together. I had long thought about the perfect way of completing my task, but I never figured things would come together as perfectly as they did.There we stood, in front of the famous Cinderella Castle, the nightly firework show illuminating the sky and I turned to her and popped the question. She said yes… how could she not at least give me a chance with this scenario playing out!? The asking was done. Now I just needed to win her heart.

Asking Out

First Date with Mrs. Sip – March 30, 2002

One week after asking the gorgeous and talented future Mrs. Sip out, we went on our first true date. We had had a couple really good phone conversations in the days leading up to our rendezvous and I think we were both hoping it would go as well as our non-face-to-face meetings. The night started with me picking Mrs. Sip up and heading to the local theatre where we watched Panic Room. Following that, it was time to satiate the ol’ sweet tooth (and I don’t mean on Mrs. Sip), so we were off to find dessert. We shared a hot fudge brownie and talked until they closed the restaurant. I knew things were going well when she agreed to come back to my place to continue talking. I finally dropped her off at home around 2am with plans to reconvene in a couple days… she was mine!

Drink #249: Wonderful Night

Wonderful Night Drink

  • 0.3 oz Peppermint Schnapps
  • 0.3 oz Gin
  • 0.3 oz Vodka
  • 0.3 oz Galliano
  • 0.3 oz Blue Curacao
  • Top with Apple-Lime Juice
  • Garnish with an Apple Pick and Lime Wheel

I think everyone should do an exercise like this to truly help you feel special. It’s been said so many times that it starts to lose meaning, but we really need to embrace each day we have and make the best of our lives. I like to think, thanks to the evidence above, that I’ve done exactly that!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (5 Sips out of 5):
Perhaps this cocktail benefits from low expectations, thus resulting in its high score, but it is delicious. Mrs. Sip didn’t agree with my assessment, but that’s why she’s only Mrs. Sip and not the Sip Advisor. The Peppermint Schnapps is actually really nice with all the other spirits playing their own role. Definitely give this one a whirl!

September 3 – Unicorn

Animal Crackers

Recently, a big deal in social media was made over Scotland’s national animal (to be revealed very shortly). That got me thinking about the rest of the world and which creatures have had the honour of proudly and respectfully representing a country. No nation will be off limits, as I am definitely going to skewer my home country. Here are some of the best selections:

Unicorn – Scotland

For some reason, a mythological animal for Scotland actually makes sense given they’re a mythological country! I’m just messin’ with ya Scots. Don’t forget, we here in Canada still have strong ties to the U.K. despite our distance from the motherland. The unicorn was actually a symbol of the Scottish royal family. The more you know *rainbow swipe*!

unicorn

Beaver – Canada

Speaking of my part of the world, we chose an animal which just begs for other citizens to make double entendres about how much we love it! Bring on the jokes, we can take them! The beaver is a very industrious animal, building their dams for shelter. They are also good recyclers, using trees that nobody needs anymore. Stupid oxygen-enabling trees!

Lion – Belgium/Bulgaria/Luxembourg/Netherlands/U.K.

Are there even lions in most of these countries (that aren’t caged in a zoo)? Did they just choose a bad ass animal to look cool among the international community, not realizing how many other countries also claimed the feline? A place like Ethiopia or Kenya having the lion as their national animal makes sense…since, you know, lions actually live there.

King Cobra – India

This is an intimidating choice, warning us all that the Indian population can be subdued with hypnotic music, but at the same time are deadly predators that can strike in an instant and cause accelerated death. If that’s really the case though, why does it take me so long to get a live person when I call for customer service?

Cobra and girl

See, cobras can be cute and cuddly!

Gallic Rooster – France

It kind of makes sense that France would relate themselves to a bunch of cocks, am I right!? I’m sure most French people are actually quite nice, but Parisians take the cake on being dicks. We once had a cab driver who refused to acknowledge our request to go to the Eiffel Tower until we flipped it and said “Tour Eiffel”… Va te faire foutre!!

Persian Cat – Iran

While most would view the Iranians with some fear and hostility, how can you do that when they picked a freakin’ fluffy cat as one of their national animals! Ma and Pa Sip have a Persian-ish cat at home and she’s a darling…unless you try to move her off the bed. Not very friendly to her fellow felines either now that I come to think about…

Dolphin – Greece

Of course the Greeks would pick the most sexual of creatures when selecting their national animal. They did, after all, invent a great deal of the carnal moves and positions in existence, rivaling the Indians and their Karma Sutra. Apparently, dolphins also play a role in Greek mythology, as helpers of mankind. Aquaman must be jealous!

funny-dolphin

Dodo – Mauritius

Good job Mauritius (wherever the hell you are) for picking an animal that has long been extinct. Perhaps your fate will be much the same. Seems like you’re asking for a rough future with your choice in animal worship.

Bull – Spain

Nothing like killing your national animal for the entertainment of screaming, blood-thirsty fans! What’s that, you also show it respect by tying up its testicles before you taunt, tease, assault, and slaughter the beast? Hmmm, you Spanish have a funny way of showing affection. At least the bull sometimes gets revenge with a thunderous gore!

Bulldog – U.K.

Scotland’s pick of the unicorn doesn’t look so bad anymore. At least it’s a majestic creature. Meanwhile, England picked one of the foulest mutts in the dog world. With a face only an owner could love and enough drool to flood an apartment, the bulldog seems an unlikely choice for people who a nation of prim and proper tea drinkers.

Drink #246: Unicorn

Unicorn Drink

  • 1 oz Irish Crème
  • 0.5 oz Brandy
  • 0.5 oz Kahlua
  • 0.5 oz Vodka
  • Splash of Cointreau
  • Dash of Melon Liqueur
  • Top with Milk
  • Garnish with a Pink Marshmallow

What do you think of some of these national animals? Is there a country you wish I had targeted with my adept lampooning? I can take the heat, just as much as I can give it out! By the way, here’s a quiz on the subject of national animals (I hope you were taking notes)… enjoy!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I really enjoyed the Melon Liqueur finish. It went really well with the rest of the recipe, highlighted by the Irish Crème. Garnishing the cocktail with a Pink Marshmallow seemed like the perfect addition for a Unicorn-themed drink.

September 2 – Coffee and Donuts

Dirty Jobs

As we celebrate Labour Day and the average worker out there, I’m just happy to have the day off and not be anywhere near the realm of work (though living it up at the Bellagio in Vegas sure helps). That said, my job ain’t all that bad. On the flipside, here are some vocations that take some special people to get done:

Waste Collector

Affectionately known as a garbage man (or sanitation engineer if you’re being all PC about it), I have the utmost respect for these hardworking folk, Cousin Sip being one of them. I even tagged along with him on a couple occasions while in high school. The job is extremely physical and not without its dangers. Still, it is pretty cool to be riding on the back of one of these behemoth machines and throwing different smash-able items into the compactor.

garbage man-oscar

Fast-Food Server

While I think it is prudent for every person out there to work one crappy job in their lifetime (mine was as a grocery store deli clerk for four years), so they respect every other position they have in the future, I thankfully never had to work at a fast food joint. The minimal pay and sometimes abusive working conditions just don’t seem worth it, but it can provide employees with a great skill set to use in their future.

Gas Station Attendant

Ah, where Mrs. Sip earned her crappy job cred, making minimum wage and having to deal with people trying to buy smokes without I.D. and people raging at the gas prices. Not to mention the ever-present threat of theft and armed robbery. Most stations now make you pay before you pump to cut down on gas and dash incidents. There have been some that ended tragically with usually young employees trying to stop an occurrence and being killed by the vehicle over a god damn fill-up.

Farmer

Most people would more than hesitate as soon as they heard they had to get up so early in the morning and spend their day dealing with backbreaking labour and uncooperative animals/machinery. These dedicated folk provide us with much of the food we need, including fruits, vegetables, grains, dairy, and meat. For that (and their daughters!), we thank them.

blind-farmer

Construction Worker

This can include everything to do with construction, whether that’s building, well, buildings, road work, house repair, and everything else that could fall under that umbrella. Pa Sip was an iron worker for most of my childhood until his back just couldn’t do it anymore. And he’s far from alone as most leave the profession with wrecked bodies. Here’s hoping they have nice beds and couches to retreat to!

Parking Enforcement Officer

The abuse these poor folks take from people who always claim that their meter just expired or they didn’t see various signs or other warnings is totally out of proportion compared to what they get paid. Even people who aren’t being ticketed (and perhaps have never received a citation) target the noble parking violation officer with name calling and dirty looks.

fail-parking-ticket

Flight Attendant

We’ve all seen jerks on fligths… now imagine you had to deal with them longer than calling them dirty names under your breath. That is the life of a flight attendant. While I love travelling, I hate travel days, so I would deplore being in a constant cycle of being on the road and never getting to a destination you can enjoy. I salute you, servers of tiny liquor bottles and not enough ice!

Miner

How horrible would it be to live most of your life in the dark? Then add on top of that the danger of cave-ins, explosions, and other risks. Being a miner is also one of the dirtiest jobs out there, deep inside a dark dank cave, covered in filth. That stuff probably never completely washes out and you have to find a spouse that doesn’t mind getting a little dirty with you… but isn’t that what we’re all searching for!?

Drink #245: Coffee and Donuts

Coffee and Donuts Drink

What a perfect drink to celebrate the working Joe’s out there. What jobs do you think are the worst in existence? What is the most horrible job you ever had? Happy Labour Day, everyone!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This is a wonderful dessert drink. I quickly falling in love with my Glazed Donut Liqueur, even if I think cocktail ideas using it will be limited. The recipe calls for a Maraschino cherry garnish, but I said eff that and went for a donut hole (TimBit) instead. I’m classy like that!

August 29 – Mexican Mojito

Mocktail Mania

While I simply deplore the concept of the mocktail – I mean, seriously? You’re offering me a drink with no booze? – I feel it can be a fine training tool for young’uns who shouldn’t be indulging in sweet lady liquor. I have to give credit to the inventors of some mocktail names, which are as catchy as the spirits would normally be strong. Here are some of my favourites:

Nojito

One of my favourite families of drinks is the Mojito, highlighted by today’s offering of the Mexican variety. When I have my own little sippers, I’ll want to gradually introduce them to the wonders of mixology and this will be a fine starting point, especially for delicious summer bevvys. Mocktail Ingredients: Mint Leaves, Lime Juice, Simple Syrup, Club Soda

Mocktail Cat

Safe Sex on the Beach

Sometimes called No Sex on the Beach (although I prefer ‘Safe Sex’ because at least someone is getting lucky!), I think the safest sex on the beach is to make whoopee anywhere other than the beach. Remember, they don’t call it sandpaper for nothing… that stuff can be rough! Mocktail Ingredients: Cranberry Juice, Pineapple Juice, Peach Nectar, Maraschino Cherry

Maternitini

I have given brief thought to a time in the very distant future when Mrs. Sip becomes pregnant and whether or not I’ll give up booze in solidarity with her. And I’m quick to shrug those ideas off and say eff that! I just thank the gods above that I don’t have to carry a child and lose out on my drinking ways. Mocktail Ingredients: Raspberries, Grapefruit Juice, Orange Juice, Cranberry Juice

Hot Not Toddy

While I rarely drink warm beverages (even if they are booze-fueled), this is a classic wintertime cocktail that can even be enjoyed sans alcohol (or so I’m led to believe!). I really only down the occasional hot chocolate at Christmas time and it’s usually topped with some sort of liqueur for added flavour and fun! Mocktail Ingredients: Tea, Honey, Cinnamon, Cloves, Nutmeg

Mocktail Poisoning

Virgin Mary

A number of mocktails simply throw the word virgin in to get their point across, but this is a rare instance where it actually works quite well. Subbing in for the Bloody Mary, the Virgin Mary doesn’t look very good on paper, at least from my perspective. Any drink with Tomato Juice and no liquor seems not worth the effort. Mocktail Ingredients: Tomato Juice, Worcestershire Sauce, Hot Sauce, Lemon Juice

Unfuzzy Navel

This solves the age old mystery of what exactly makes a Fuzzy Navel fuzzy… it’s the liquor, of course! I suppose an unfuzzy navel is much sexier than a fuzzy one because that probably means it belongs to a dude. Nevertheless, I’ll take mine fuzzy with alcohol, please! Mocktail Ingredients: Peach Nectar, Orange Juice, Lemon Juice, Grenadine

mocktail wedding

Not So Dark and Stormy

I feel a better name for this mocktail would be something like ‘Calm Before the Storm’, just to completely flip it around. I wonder if the Gosling’s Rum folks have hissy fits over this drink in the same manner they do over the Dark and Stormy alcoholic beverage recipe, which they have a copyright over. Mocktail Ingredients: Ginger Beer, Molasses, Lime Juice, Lime Wedge

Salty Dog Without the Tail

This is certainly one of the cleverer mocktail names I came across in my research. It actually makes more sense than the actual spirit-based refreshment. This would be a great drink to pull out around kids who would have a grand ol’ time with the name alone. Grapefruit Juice may be an acquired taste, but I’d make sure my kids got used to it! Mocktail Ingredients: Grapefruit Juice, Salt

Drink #241: Mexican Mojito

Aug 29

  • Muddle Mint Leaves and Lime Wedges
  • 1.5 oz Tequila (I used 1800 Añejo)
  • Top with Lemon-Lime Soda
  • Garnish with a Mint Sprig

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention some other classic mocktails, such as the Shirley Temple and Arnold Palmer (if you add alcohol, it becomes a John Daly!) with this list. My favourite as a wee little sipper was the Roy Rogers. The Sip Family would sometimes stay at the Embassy Suites hotel chain, which had a wonderful happy hour including drinks and appies. Kids were treated to this recipe (cola, grenadine and a Maraschino cherry) and got to feel like they were part of the party! Now let’s never speak of mocktails again!!!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
While not my favourite among the Mojito family of drinks, I thoroughly enjoyed this rendition. Using Añejo Tequila was a nice touch, of course, and it is yet another spirit that works well with all the usual Mojito ingredients.

August 28 – Big Dipper

Chippy Dippy Challenge

You little sippers should know quite well by now that I fancy myself to be a potato chip sommelier of sorts. With the Lays chip company presenting a new flavour competition, “Do Us a Flavour,” I assembled some of my rival chip connoisseurs (like gathering the heads of the five mafia families) to critique these new offerings suggested by the public. I tried submitting a flavour as well, but kept getting bounced out of the site, theorizing that the company and the world was not yet ready to handle Honey Garlic Ranch… sounds pretty awesome, doesn’t it! Here are our notes on the chosen flavours:

Lays Chip Flavours

Creamy Garlic Caesar

I’ve had BLT chips before, so the idea of lettuce flavour on chips isn’t too foreign. This chip seemed to be the winning choice among the four tastes and I’m happy to report the contributing customer comes from my hometown. I love the Caesar dressing flavour and the chip reminded us all of Sour Crème and Onion, but enhanced. Cousin Sip suggested they could be crushed and used as croutons on salad, but you’d want to apply just before eating so as not to let them get too soggy.

Maple Moose

Basically this flavour could be summed up as a true slice of Canadiana, but it really translates to meat and maple syrup. Ma Sip liked its smoky taste, but others found that same zest to be a little overwhelming. I can’t say that I’ve ever had moose meat, so I’m not sure how close they came to mimicking that essence. I guess that makes me less of a Canadian… oh well!

funny-chips

Grilled Cheese and Ketchup

This flavour intrigued me as despite my hatred for cheese, I don’t mind grilled cheese sandwiches, providing a white cheese like mozzarella is used. However, this recipe favours a little too much on the cheese side, with Cousin Sip suggesting that the ketchup ingredient be enhanced a little more or even the addition of some dill powder would take this entry to a whole ‘notha level.

Perogy Platter

Something was missing from the Perogy Platter variety. Perhaps some more onion or bacon flavouring would make the taste a little bolder. It was still an enjoyable chip, though, similar to a fully-loaded baked potato type. It also proved that deep fried, crunchy perogies are the way to go and not noodle-esque boiled potato cartridges. Long live the fryer!

Drink #240: Big Dipper

Big Dipper Cocktail

  • 1 oz Brandy
  • 1 oz Dark Rum (I used Captain Morgan)
  • Dash of Cointreau
  • Splash of Lime Juice
  • Top with Lemon-Lime Soda
  • Garnish with Lime Wedge

This will not be the last Chippy Dippy Challenge, as I plan on hosting this event annually… or every couple weeks (I love potato chips that much!). What do you think of the above flavours? Have any suggestions of brands/styles/flavours to try? I’m just a click away!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This was the first time I mixed Apricot Brandy with Rum, usually pairing it with Gin and both work very well. I subbed out the originally suggested Club Soda and Sugar and replaced it with Lemon-Lime Soda to even up all the requirements. I tried to make the Lime Wedge garnish look like a chip being dipped into the cocktail.

August 27 – The Gladiator

No Muss, No Fuss

In some ways, a fussy drinker is justified… but there are other times where you just need to let go and make the best of a boozy situation. Instead of being a fussy #*$!, here are some suggestions for when you’re feeling the fuss but still want to get your drink on.

Must Have Ice

If no ice is available, I will suffer through my drink, but it at all possible, you better believe there will be cubes in my cocktail. I’ve learned well from my parents that having a stock of ice is perhaps the most crucial element to any soiree. Surprisingly, some locations don’t really cater to the ice lovers out there. If you’re in a setting that doesn’t allow the free flow of ice, my recommendation is to stick to beer or wine.

ice cubes

Top Shelf Only

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate drinking a top shelf spirit when the opportunity arises, but I’m not going to go all Frasier Crane when other alcohols are used to make my cocktail. There are people out there that only want the finest and that is their prerogative… unless they make a scene about that. Those folks should be shown the door, whether friend, colleague, lover, or kin. There are some good cheaper brands that can really make a drink. My favourite mid-shelf drinks are Sailor Jerry Spiced Rum, Disaronno (for Amaretto), and Absolut.

Fresh Ingredients Are a Must

In the interest of simplicity, sometimes it would be easier to use a pre-mixed concoction. However, Mrs. Sip won’t allow this and I do get her point. Bottled mixes are often much sweeter and more sugary than the natural ingredients would be. We’ve made it a rule around the Sip Advisor headquarters that only fresh juices and fruit are used for this site. I hope you’ve noticed our dedication to excellence!

I’m On a Diet

This may be the fussy drinker that pisses me off the most. We all have friends that only drink vodka sodas or other flavourless swill because they are watching their calorie intake. The worst is that person who insists her cocktail be made with diet pop – which is far worse for you than any normal beverage – and gives you attitude when you inform them you don’t carry that crap because of how awful it is. Solution: None, you suck.

diet-soda

It Needs Fizz

Another core concept I generally agree with, but there are a multitude of drinks that neither require nor warrant carbonation to be enjoyable. Most of the classic cocktails would be ruined if fizz was added. That being said, generally if we can work some tang into any beverage, you can bet your ass we will. A positive of using sodas in your mix is that the drink will have an effervescence and energy to it as the bubbles hit your tongue.

Too Soft, Too Hard

Scratch that, this is the fussiest drinker that grinds my gears the most. The type of “friend” who complains about the drink you’ve given them being too weak. Um, alright… and by the way, you’re welcome. Then when you make the next cocktail, you up the liquor quotient and suddenly it’s too strong. Well, you know what, I reserve the right to pick and choose who I serve and you… are… out of here!

Drink #239: The Gladiator

The Gladiator Cocktail

  • 0.75 oz Amaretto (I used Disaronno)
  • 0.75 oz Peach Schnapps
  • Drop shot into glass of Lemon-Lime Soda
  • Garnish with a Lime Wedge

What cocktail requirements do you insist on? Perhaps we’ll have to agree to disagree!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I’m not sure how a drink that use two lighter spirits winds up with such a commanding name like The Gladiator, but that’s just how things go sometimes. I found this recipe in an online discussion of cocktails for fussy drinkers, so I decided to give it a try. I liked how the Peach Schnapps and Amaretto would slowly roll out of the shot glass as I slammed the Lemon-Lime Soda and the whole concoction was quite tasty!

August 26 – Wedding Cake

I Thee Wed

Yesterday, Mrs. Sip and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary. With that in mind, I’m reflecting back to our special day last year. Weddings are a funny thing to plan. You put so much energy and effort into one day (a day you’re too busy to enjoy every detail of) and before you know it, the day has passed. I wouldn’t consider myself a wedding coordinator expert and I know every person has their own desires and budget, but for my money, these are the must-haves for your nuptials:

Live Band

While a DJ will get the music job done, I will never regret shelling out a little extra to have a live band at our wedding. Mrs. Sip and I are classic rock fans, so we picked a local band, The BobCats, which specializes in covers of The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CCR, Van Morrison, and others. We’d seen the guys perform multiple times before and were thrilled when they were available to work our wedding and rock the joint to the early hours of the morning.

Electric Mayhem

These guys were my second choice to play our wedding!

Photographer

This one is pretty obvious and I think very few couples get married nowadays without a professional photographer documenting their special day. Our photos are amazing and will provide instant memories of our wedding as we review them over time. Magnolia Photographic was the perfect choice for our wedding and I’m particularly fond of the stunning shots of Mrs. Sip, who looked drop dead gorgeous that day (and all other days!).

Videographer

When Mrs. Sip and I first started the wedding planning process video was not a priority. Hell, it wasn’t even on the list. Then you start talking to people who fully recommend getting a videographer and you start looking at videos and it suddenly becomes a must-have. We buckled and hired a great little company (RF Weddings) that provided us with an amazing video of highlights from the day. The way they blended song and images together was truly masterful and guests loved watching the same day edit during our reception.

Candy Bar

This was another idea that wasn’t initially on our original list of ideas, but I threw it on the “to do” list last minute after attending a friend’s wedding in Toronto which featured one. Choosing all the candy to put into the bar was a lot of fun, but tracking down containers to display the treats was a little more daunting (we wanted drink-themed glasses like martini and goblet styles). Still, we got it done (thanks to an extra shopping trip by Ma Sip) and the creativity of the friend I put in charge of setting up the station.

Candy Bar

This was our actual wedding candy bar… looks pretty sweet, am I right!?

Entertainment during Photos

Mrs. Sip and I didn’t want to kill the buzz of guests between ceremony and reception, when most couples now disappear to do off-site photos with their wedding party. We had a strings band (Musical Occasions) play between the two events, while beverages and snacks were available and we also had a group come out that does magnetic photos of your invitees, which they can take home. On the subject, you also don’t want to force your guests to kill too much time between the ceremony and reception… keep that in mind.

Buffet

Not to take a shot at plate service for dinner, but I prefer buffets, which allow guests to grab exactly what they want, enjoy a variety of options, and eat until they’re about to explode. With all the craziness going down at our wedding, I only managed to load up my plate once and never even got to the dessert edition, although it looked spectacular. The folks at the Shaughnessy Golf & Country Club sure know how to put a spread together.

funny-buffet

Limos

It’s your special day and you might as well be travelling in style. Unless you have a cool and unique car for transport, a limo is the best way to achieve this. Ace of Spades Limos worked diligently to get everyone where they needed be when they needed to be there. We used four different limos during the day (one for the bride and bridesmaids, one for the groom and groomsmen, one for the wedding party for photos, and one at the end of the night for the happy couple) and there wasn’t a single issue to deal with.

Hotel

In my books, it just doesn’t seem as special if you go through the whole wedding process, only to return to your normal home that night. Indulge in a little pampering and take off to a nearby hotel. We checked into the Pan Pacific along Vancouver’s waterfront. It was a mch needed respite as it allowed Mrs. Sip and I to get away after the wedding, digest the events of the day together, and enjoy some quality one-on-one time. Couples can also achieve this much needed getaway by immediately leaving for their honeymoon, which is a good way of forgetting all about any post-wedding issues!

Drink #238: Wedding Cake

Wedding Cake Drink Recipe

  • 0.75 oz Gin (I used Tanqueray)
  • 0.75 oz Amaretto
  • Splash of Pineapple Juice
  • Splash of Orange Juice
  • Splash of Milk
  • Garnish with Wedding Bands (if you got them!)

What are the wedding must-haves that you insist on? Have any issues with my list? Too bad, it’s written in internet stone!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I already made the Wedding Cake Shot, so now it was time to try the martini edition. There are other versions of this drink, but I wanted to see how all these ingredients would work together. The Gin doesn’t overwhelm the taste buds, which surprised me and nothing is out of place at all with this cocktail. Getting the wedding bands to sit just right for the photo was a pain, but it was one of those ideas I just had to see through.

August 25 – Wedding Anniversary

Whatcha Get Me?

Today, Mrs. Sip and I celebrate one year of marriage! While doing research for our celebration, I came across the list of traditional and modern anniversary gifts. Some make sense – you know, your typical array of varying jewelry and fine materials – while others take a little more time to wrap your head around. Here are some of those items that brought a smile to my face:

Wedding Anniversary

Traditional (U.S.)

Paper (1st) – Could this be the divorce agreement!?

Cotton (2nd) – So, a collection of ear swabs, cotton balls and panty liners should suffice, right!?

Traditional (U.K.)

Fruit and Flowers (4th) – Here’s an apple and a posy. Let’s see which one goes bad first…

Sugar (6th) – Looks like anniversary #6 will be highlighted by rimmed daiquiris!

Salt (8th) – So, if I grab Mrs. Sip some McDonald’s fries, have I satisfied the tradition?

Wine (85th) – Oh, sure, make things easier on the older folks, who might actually have the money to spend on these items!

Wedding Anniversary 2

Modern

Clock (1st) – I think Mrs. Sip would take this as an insult, given that she’s always late and I’ve been trying for over a decade to correct that behaviour!

Appliances (4th) – Okay, you’ve survived the first few years of marriage… now it’s time to get that girl to start doing some dishes… cooking you meals… washing your clothes… all that other chauvinistic stuff. What says love more than a crock pot or a toaster oven? Ironically, I do all that for our little household. Mrs. Sip works long hours and I’m generally around more, so I take care of details like cleaning up our place and preparing dinner.

Wood Objects (6th) – Oh, this one is too easy… next!

Pen and Pencil Sets (7th) – You’d figure that this gift idea would be a little higher up on the list. I wonder if pen and pencil sets have lost all meaning since everyone just uses computers nowadays. Mrs. Sip, if you’re reading this, just get me a new laptop!

Anniversary Gift

Lace (8th) – Finally things start to get a little interesting. Lace… on Mrs. Sip… yes, please!

Leather Goods (9th) – Almost as good as the lace, but is this because by this point the marriage needs a little something to spice it up?

Musical Instruments (24th) – But what if neither person is good at playing any instrument whatsoever? I guess there’s always Guitar Hero and Rock Band options!

Engraved Marble (90th) – If Mrs. Sip and I actually make it to our 90th anniversary, you can damn well bet that I’ll be getting that shizzle engraved! I guess by that point we would be buying each others…tombstones? (nothing so “forever” like matching headstones, right?

Drink #237: Wedding Anniversary)

Wedding Anniversary Drink Recipe

  • 1 oz Vodka (I used Beluga)
  • 1 oz Galliano
  • 0.5 oz Campari
  • Top with Orange Juice
  • Garnish with a Raspberry

Happy anniversary, baby! It’s the paper anniversary, but our printer is busted and I’m all into recycling, so I made you this post instead. You can print it at work at a later date!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
This cocktail tastes pretty good… right up until the Campari-kick comes in at the end and ruins the entire taste you were previously enjoying. My recommendation is to sub out the Campari for any other Bitters you might have.

August 23 – Mosquito Bite

Summertime Blues

Today, I’m going to go against typecast and play the role of Debbie Downer. Summer is an awesome time, but like most things in life, it isn’t perfect. Here are the things that sadly suck about the summer season:

Mosquito Bites

I came up with this list after awaking to some awful itches that are driving me insane as I type this article. The worst thing about mosquitos is that you know they’re around, buzzing by your ear and hunting you down. Sadly, they are good at what they do and if you’re not careful, you’ll wind up bitten to pieces. Poor Mrs. Sip is a mozzie magnet which is usually how I walk away unscathed.

mosquito-bites

Dehydration

I believe I was the victim of dehydration a couple weeks back, which is a little odd because I work diligently to keep myself and others hydrated with not only booze, but water, as well. I guess I just wasn’t on my game that day and a little too much time poolside was giving me flu-like feelings. A half-dozen glasses of cold water and I was feeling myself again… the club can’t handle me, yo!

Intolerable Night Heat

Nothing is more frustrating than trying to sleep during the heights of summer heat. I myself, like to be covered by a blanket when snoozing, but in the summer, I constantly have to throw my legs on top of our comforter or completely toss the covering off. Many sleepless nights are spent trying to acclimatize to the heat and get comfortable. Mrs. Sip encroaching on my side of the bed with her furnace-like temperature doesn’t help matters.

summer

Sun Burns

Speaking of Mrs. Sip, she’s currently nursing a pretty nasty burn thanks to a little too much time in the sun. There is an upside to all this though, because guess who works some pretty decent magic with a bottle of Aloe Vera… that’s right, the Sip Advisor! You have to be diligent with healing a sun burn, so as not to enter the peeling stage, which is beyond gross.

Forest Fires

While a sun burn is like a forest fire for a person’s body, these incidents are capable of leaving a scorched earth that takes years to recover. That’s not even factoring the loss of homes, wildlife, and in the most tragic cases, human life. We’ve had a pretty dry summer in these here parts, but I haven’t heard too much about forest fire issues. Perhaps the cigarette butt-tossing folk have finally learned their lesson.

Drink #235: Mosquito Bite (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

Mosquito  Bite Cocktail

  • 1 oz Vodka (I used Smirnoff)
  • 1 oz Fireball Whiskey
  • Top with Milk
  • Garnish with Cinnamon Powder and Stir

Upon making this list, one quickly realizes that these minor inconveniences of summer are totally worth it for such an amazing period of the year. I hope everyone out there enjoys what is left of their summertime fun!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
This cocktail was a bit of a miss. It just didn’t come together as expected, but it wasn’t horrible either. I was disappointed not to find a drink called Mosquito Bite, but a couple simply called Mosquito… I refused to have any of that and changed the name to the way I liked it (renegade style!). The bites of Cinnamon are like the stings of a mosquito and the white Milky flesh provides a perfect canvas for the little buggers to do their damage, dotting the work with Cinnamon Powder.

August 22 – Shark’s Tooth

Bite Me

There are some serious teethers out there… sets of mouths that I hope I never have to come across. While most entries on this list are animal-related, sadly, some humans (living and undead) have also made a name for themselves, thanks to their chompers. Here are some entities I don’t want to be bit by:

Killer Shark

It’s not like the idea behind the Jaws movies (and numerous other films about the creature’s thirst for human blood) came from nowhere. Sharks are vicious animals and have been known to attack humans with bites so bad that they lose limbs, or worse, lives. In its defense, a shark has even been known to aid in a murder investigation, when a Tiger Shark vomited up a human forearm in Sydney, Australia.

shark bite

Venomous Snake

I’ve made it quite clear that I have a fear of snakes. Knowing just how deadly they can be doesn’t really help. Some of the most deadly snakes in the world include the King Cobra, Puff Adder, and Taipan… all of which I hope to never encounter. Shockingly, a Honey Badger (perhaps the coolest animal in the world behind cats) is resistant to some of the most deadly venoms in the world and can eat a snake in short order!

Bullet Ant

This little fella has been ranked as having the most painful bite in the world, with people comparing it to being shot (likely people who have never actually been shot, but I digress). The Bullet Ant is found in South America and is actually used by the Satere-Mawe tribe as a rite of passage for boys, who have to wear a glove of the ants for ten minutes, suffering numerous bites and painful symptoms that can last for days.

Vampire

Turning to our fictional biters, in much of vampire mythology, biting is a source of fear, dominance, sexuality, and necessity. Just watch an episode of True Blood (not that lame-ass Twilight garbage) and you’re bound to see numerous scenes of fangdom. Some real life vampires actually exist, usually of the crazy serial killer variety. This list includes Countess Elizabeth Báthory and Fritz Haarmann, who was beheaded for his crimes.

Vampire Kitties

Gila Monster

What do you get when you combine sharp teeth, thorough chewing and toxic venom… the Gila Monster, of course. Luckily for us humans, the Gila Monster’s laziness means we probably won’t have to deal with the animal, but they should not be approached or provoked. The killer lizard has even been used as a school mascot, as Eastern Arizona College has Gila Hank, complete with cowboy hat and gun!

Mosquito

Along with my constant attention and devotion, Mrs. Sip is live bait for Mosquitos, who will bite her throughout and evening, while other people in the same setting escape unscathed. She is my own personal Citronella Candle! Not only can the Mosquito leave you with a tremendous itch and splotchy skin, but they also spread the deadly malaria virus, which has killed unfathomable numbers throughout history.

Mosquito Legend

Brazilian Wandering Spider

This spider has the highest human kill rate among arachnids and its venom can cause a long-lasting erection (is that really so bad!?). Look out Viagra, your days may be numbered as the most prolific boner pill… you know, once they figure out the whole toxic venom side effect. So much for the Black Widow Spider being so bad. Perhaps Mrs. Sip won’t be so eager to travel to Brazil anymore after reading this!

Mike Tyson

The bite heard ‘round the world’ occurred June 28, 1997, when the ‘Baddest Man on the Planet’ proved his reputation and sunk his pearly whites into the ear of opponent Evander Holyfield. It was the final straw in Tyson’s rollercoaster boxing career, which saw the heavyweight fighter rise to championship glory at the age of 20 and fall hard from grace, following a rape conviction, substance abuse problems, financial woes, and failed comebacks.

Drink #234: Shark’s Tooth

Shark's Tooth

  • 1.5 oz Dark Rum (I used Captain Morgan)
  • Splash of Lime Juice
  • Splash of Lemon Juice
  • Dash of Grenadine
  • Dash of Soda Water
  • Garnish with Lemon Wedge

When you really think about it, is there such a thing as a “good bite”? I guess if you’re into a little pain with your pleasure you might want to go down this road, but otherwise, I’ll take my loving sans teeth!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
There is also a Shark Bite cocktail, which is quite clever in that it includes a couple drops of grenadine to simulate the look of blood within the rest of the mix. As for this recipe, you think the drink will be too sweet, but the soda really takes the edge off… for some reason I tasted chocolate despite the ingredients having nothing to do with the stuff.