About Daniel Wilson

I love making drinks for my friends and family, and, of course, sampling my concoctions myself! Finding and playing around with recipes is a favourite past time of mine and I hope to share that passion with all my readers.

July 7 – Watermelon Mojito

Posted on July 7, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Summer in the City

With summer upon us, it’s time to throw out some ideas for things you can do with the missus or the little ones. Here are some treasured Sip Advisor summer activities!

Drive-In Movie

The whole experience might as well be called, “How to Gorge Yourself on Snacks in a Few Hours,” but that’s all part of the fun. Our local drive-in presents two or three movies each night for the low price of $12.50! Because you’re in your own car, you can chat with your car mates without being shushed by other moviegoers and can even get a little naughty with your best gal, should the inspiration arise.

That’s one hell of a line-up!

Swimming

I’ve been lucky enough to grow up my entire life with a pool in the backyard, first an above-ground tank and later an in-ground swimming hole. It’s hard to see my life without easy access to water and a place to hang out with drinks, sun, and fun. Over the years, the pool has been home to some crazy behavior, such as backyard wrestling, balcony jumps and skinny dipping!

Fire Pit

After a day in the cement pond, we’ll often light up the fire pit at the Sip Advisor headquarters, where roasting marshmallows and building smores are the first order of business. Talk around the campfire is always entertaining, especially when one member of the Sip Alliance can’t control an Irish accent he’s never exhibited before and it only comes out when he’s tanked!

Camping

Ah, the great outdoors… where people stupidly risk the elements for the sake of “getting back to nature”. I’m just thankful that I’m a dude and I can pee wherever I want, while the ladies always have to have good facilities within walking distance. Food while camping is certainly a highlight of the entire experience, with so much junk that it would make any healthy person question the entire practice.

Baseball Game

While I prefer other sports more, the ‘boys of summer’ experience is one not to be missed. It’s a great night out to hit the diamond and support your local team, whether professional, amateur, or beer league. The snacks and beer at a baseball game often overtake the actual sport itself in attention spent, but sometimes you get that special experience where your team ties the game late and wins in extra innings prior to a fireworks show (true story!).

Picnic in the Park

Very few things are as relaxing and peaceful as a picnic in the park. Just throw your blanket down wherever you’re comfortable and lay out, enjoying a spread of sandwiches, salads, chips, cookies, and wine or beer if you can sneak your sips in. You can even combine your meal with a rollerblade, bike ride, or top it all off with some playground activity!

Drink #188: Watermelon Mojito

Muddled Watermelon, Lime and Mint
1.5 oz Appleton Rum
Top with Lemon-Lime Soda
Garnish with Watermelon Cube, Lime Wedge and Sugar Cane Stir Stick

While those are my favourite activities, there are a number of things I’d like to try again from the days of summer past, like busting out the ol’ slip and slide and getting soap in my eyes or a concussion from smacking noggins with another slider. Good… no, scratch that… GREAT times!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I love Watermelon and I love Mojitos, so put the two together and you have a winning combination. I subbed Appleton Rum in for White Rum and it was a perfect choice given Watermelon’s light taste.

July 6 – Bert and Ernie

Posted on July 6, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

All Grown Up

No matter my age, I will always love cartoons. Of course, there is a large selection of animated comedies for an adult audience (The Simpsons, South Park, Family Guy, Archer, among them), but there is also a special cross section of shows meant for children that have subtle adult themes and so can be enjoyed by young and old alike. Here are some of the best:

Fillmore

This is a very clever show that spoofs the 1980’s crime shows and movies like Miami Vice and the Lethal Weapon franchise. Instead of episodes involving drug trafficking, the case may be about tartar sauce smuggling, while stolen cars are replaced by scooter theft. Unfortunately, Fillmore’s crime solving only lasted a couple seasons and now the creator does work for The Walking Dead. Yeah, kids show to zombie apocalypse drama… that seems like a totally obvious creative jump!

Recess

I watched a lot of Recess during my college years, as it had a nice timeslot around the time I was back home from classes and prepping for the odd nap. The series provided a great reminder of years gone by and the fun enjoyed during elementary school, running around with your buddies and getting up to trouble during recess and lunch breaks. I still get up to trouble on my work lunches, but without any recess, the number of sticky situations I’m involved in has drastically dropped.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

I vowed to never watch any TMNT revival show. I mean, how could it ever compare to the legendary original while I was growing up? As Mrs. Sip and I lazily got ready for a day in Las Vegas (aka as Mrs. Sip refused to get out of bed until her hangover subsided), we stumbled upon a Saturday morning cartoon block and ended up half watching an episode of the newest relaunch series. It actually had a few laughs and earned a second episode opportunity (that or we were being really, um…slothful), which was also enjoyable.

SpongeBob SquarePants

I’ve only seen a few episodes of this surreal series, but I can see why both kids and adults could appreciate SpongeBob SquarePants together, at significantly different levels. I don’t even think you have to be stoned (if you’re an adult, of course) to enjoy many of the themes and jokes each episode contains.

Looney Tunes

I have always been a fan of Looney Tunes, since I was a little sipper all the way up to being a Sip Advisor. With all the delicious and gratuitous cartoon violence, it’s hard to fathom that these shows have a target audience of young children. The same can be said for Tiny Toon Adventures, Animaniacs, and any other series that involves the Looney Tunes franchise characters.

The Muppet Show

Puppets are pretty great and The Muppet Show has provided some of my favourite fabricated-Americans. While Kermit the Frog and the gang lure in the younger audience with slapstick comedy and heartfelt songs, there is also some real zingers flying about, especially when the likes of Statler and Waldorf get their screen time.

Sesame Street

Similar to The Muppet Show, I think the adult appeal with Sesame Street, is all about the characters. Characters we’ve all grown up watching and enjoying. I mean, you have the Cookie Monster and Oscar the Grouch getting laughs with their love of cookies and trash, respectively, and you also have a Big Bird and a Snuffleupagus, whatever the hell that is. Plus Bert and Ernie’s questionable relationship is groundbreaking. Speaking of the duo…

Drink #187: Bert and Ernie (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

0.5 oz Jagermeister
0.5 oz Creme de Banane
0.5 oz Orange Soda
Pair with a Rubber Ducky

There have been many search attempts for a Bert and Ernie shot, which have led people to this site. Since that drink doesn’t seem to exist in the liquor world, I decided to create one, so these wonderful people won’t go home unhappy any longer!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
For months I searched for a rubber ducky for this shot and on the day I finally found and bought one, I found one at Ma and Pa Sip’s place. The Creme de Banane is the first thing you smell and taste and probably the most predominant flavour, until the Jager almost seemingly hidden under the surface, hits you and gives the shot that little something extra.

July 5 – Evil Minion

Posted on July 5, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Despicable You

Through the course of history, there’s been some real low-down, dirty, appalling tactics employed by people and groups. I have taken it upon myself to expose these despicable degenerates. Together, we can stand up to these scumbags and make sure bad stuff like this never happens again. Are ya with me!?

Airlines that Overbook Flights

This is the most absolute bullshit thing in the world. To turn away a paying customer and tell them “Sorry, the flight is full” should be punishable by death. I remember flying out of Toronto once (one of the worst airports in the world) and approaching the agent because I hadn’t been assigned a seat. She told me the plane was overbooked and I might not get on and if I really wanted to make sure I was on the plane I had paid for, next time I should pay the $30 extra for an assigned seat… Excuse me? Did I not already pay over $500 for this exact itinerary? If that’s the case, I better receive compensation and be guaranteed a spot on your next scheduled departure. Nothing like that was offered. This concept has ruined many vacations for people who don’t deserve this shoddy treatment. Go screw yourselves Air Canada and any other line that pulls this crap with its passengers!

Disneyworld Guests Hiring Handicap People to Jump Queues

I still can’t figure out if I deplore these people because they’re line jumping, usually ahead of me (a frequent Disney traveler), or if I commend the employees for his or her entrepreneurial spirit. Scratch that, I hate them. I think these people should be stripped of their disability payments, since they’re making more money than the average person and get to spend time at the happiest place on earth while doing so. Even worst are the people who hire them. Shame on all of you!

People Who Take Advantage of Tragedies

It seems every time one of these disasters (9/11, BP Gulf Coast Spill, Hurricane Sandy, the Boston Marathon Bombing, etc.) takes place, stories eventually come to light of people trying to exploit the victims and heartbreak of the situation for their own financial gain. Whether it’s people setting up fake charitable organizations or committing other crimes, such as looting, in the middle of the chaos, it’s just not cool.

Ponzi Scheme Operators

This includes losers like Bernie Madoff, who bilked numerous investors out of millions of dollars. Many people walk away from these schemes with their entire life savings destroyed and for those who were relying on that money heading into retirement, it’s a bitter pill to swallow knowing the comfortable golden years you were expecting to experience have evaporated right in front of you.

Reality Show Producers

I was recently flipping through the channels and stopped at the show ‘Extreme Weight Loss’. I didn’t stay for long, however, as the poor kid trying to drop massive pounds was basically mocked as he was told he may have a brain tumour, with a sound effect where they slowed down the voice of the doctor giving him the news, as if the kid couldn’t process what was happening. All the while, the cameras never stopped rolling and made sure to get tight and close for facial reactions of the devastating news that the 23-year-old kid had to receive without any family there to console him. And this is just one example from a totally rotten industry.

Talentless Celebrities

We’re talking about your Kim Kardashians, Paris Hiltons, and Snookies of the world. What pisses me off about them is that they influence so much of culture and in such negative ways. People, especially young girls, want to follow in the footsteps of their idols, but that just means they want to come from a family of means, do nothing but shop for all the high-end designer items, or have no reason for being famous except for “leaked” sex tapes. And we’ll have a whole new line of them coming with the current crop of celebrity kids. Yikes!

Bullies

With all the anti-bullying programs that are in operation now, schools that are taking different approaches with troubled kids, and parents becoming more aware of the issue, hopefully this will eventually be a problem that it eradicated. Until then, we can still try and put as much shame as possible on these folks, hoping they realize the error of their ways. It will be hard to complete eliminate the bully, as we see it in so many forms of media today, from a “news” host like Nancy Grace who berates anyone who doesn’t agree with her to “real housewives” who don’t play well with others and behave quite rudely towards people, despite being in the public eye.

Protestors

I hate most protestors with a passion. Unless they’re trying to change something like civil rights, I have no time for them. The violent Black Bloc, who spend more time destroying public property than actually trying to get a message across and the heinous Westboro Baptist Church, which has even protested at high-profile funerals in the name of attention-seeking, are among the lowest of the low.

Corporations That Hide Cures

There is more money to be made from the sick than the healthy. That is a sad, but true fact. Rumours and conspiracy theories have often surfaced that some corporations are hiding the cure to various diseases and viruses because it would wipe out their business of treating an illness gradually. If there are cases for which this is true, shame on the companies. Just think of all the pain and suffering that could be ended with their full disclosure.

Drink #186: Evil Minion

1.5 oz Citrus Vodka (I used Pinnacle)
0.5 oz Strawberry Liqueur
0.5 oz Blue Curacao
Top with Sweet & Sour Mix
Splash of Club Soda
Garnish with Lemon Wheel

Writing this post reminded me how much I love the movie Despicable Me. Thankfully, Despicable Me 2 comes out today, allowing me to enjoy more animated goodness. Here’s hoping the second installment is as good as the first!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I like these sour citrus drinks. They are so refreshing in the summer and this was no different. While I usually find Club Soda boring, it was nice to have some fizz with these delicious flavours and have them not competing with each other. The end result was a lemonade type cocktail.

July 4 – Firework Fizz

Posted on July 4, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Home of the Brave

Today, we salute our neighbours to the south (unless you’re from the UK… why would you salute the French!? Oh okay, they do make a fine guillotine…article to come on July 14th!) as they celebrate their Independence Day (no, not the movie, you knucklehead). Here are the pearls of wisdom I learned about American patriotism from watching years of professional wrestling, where many of life’s great lessons can be learned!

#1) You want to be a good guy? Wear the red, white and blue.

A countless number of wrestlers, including Lex Luger, ‘Hacksaw’ Jim Duggan, the Patriot, and Hulk Hogan (as his Mr. America character), have donned the American colours as part of their wardrobe. I have to ask, though, is it really being patriotic to have the American flag cradling your junk? Regardless of whether this is actually more damaging or not to the country’s shades, it’s an instant identifier that you are, in fact, to be cheered.

I’m okay with this kind of patriotism!

#2) The flag must never be desecrated.

With the jury still out on the crotch cover issue, one thing is for sure: the American flag is off limits. You can’t even break the pole holding the flag in half or your life is in serious jeopardy. If you lay the flag over a fallen foe, that is practically sacrilegious. Wrestlers have threatened to stage a live burning of the stars and stripes, only to be attacked en masse. Other flags can be defiled without issue, such as when Shawn Michaels stuffed the Canadian maple leaf up his nose during the early D-Generation X days.

#3) Every foreigner is a bad guy.

Well, we all knew this! The easiest way to draw heat onto a heel in wrestling is to make him a foreigner. They don’t even have to despise the good ol’ U.S. of A. at first, as long as they eventually get there. Even if the foreign character is simply being as patriotic towards their own country as any American hero would be towards his nation, the crowd will turn on them in a heartbeat. The ironic thing is that many of the greatest foreign heels were actually played by Americans. Nelson Simpson from Minnesota portrayed Nikita Koloff, who marched to the ring wearing the U.S.S.R. colours and competed in Russian Chain matches. The dastardly Yokozuna, a Japanese sumo wrestler, was depicted by Samoan-American Rodney Anoa’i. And the list goes on and on!

#4) If that foreigner converts, they become lovable.

When Nikita Koloff joined forces with longtime foe, ‘The American Dream’ Dusty Rhodes, he became one of the company’s most popular stars in an instant. Similarly, as the Berlin Wall fell to the ground and the Cold War ended, Nikolai Volkoff went from U.S.S.R. anthem singing baddie to a man who embraced the coming together of the two rival countries, even wearing a jacket that featured both nation’s flags.

#5) Turncoats are worse than foreign bad guys.

When Sgt. Slaughter began empathizing with Saddam Hussein and the Iraqi side of the Gulf War, he was hated so much that WrestleMania VII had to be moved from the outdoor Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum to the indoor L.A. Sports Arena because of security worries, including death threats against the former G.I. Joe character (although most insiders contend that poor ticket sales were really to blame). Other Benedict Arnold’s, if you will, include staunch American flag waver Jim Duggan, who joined a Team Canada faction for a time and looked out of place flapping the Canadian maple leaf and wearing a red and white tracksuit, sans the blue.

#6) Canadians are anti-American.

It has been done countless times in wrestling, where a group of Canadians have banded together to take on the entire and overwhelming American roster. A Team Canada unit existed in both WCW and TNA, while WWE hosted the pro-Canadian Hart Foundation and the Un-Americans. While I’m all for Canadian patriotism myself, it is usually only seen in the realm of hockey. I have to give credit to the Canadian mat stars that align together in the name of our country… sadly, they always wind up on the losing end of things.

#7) Politics makes strange bedfellows.

When there aren’t enough members of one nationality challenging an American troupe, odd groupings can result. At the 1993 Survivor Series, the team of Japanese monster Yokozuna, Finnish strongman Ludvig Borga, and Canadian tag team The Quebecers, did battle with the All-Americans, putting to end a number of feuds that had lasted throughout the year.

#8) The “U-S-A, U-S-A” chant is devastating to foreigners.

This seems to be a foreign heel’s kryptonite. They can take ample amounts of physical punishment from their opponent, but if the crowd revs up and starts chanting “U-S-A, U-S-A” it sends the bad guy into a panicked rage, searching for relief by manically covering his ears, violently shaking his head, and searching for all ways to relieve the stress of being chanted at. Ironically, I’ve even heard the U-S-A chant directed at a bad guy while he was facing a Canadian grappler.

#9) Forgive and forget.

I have to give credit to the Americans, when a wrestler wants to make amends for his evil deeds and return to his patriotic roots, he is accepted back into the fold without hesitation. For example, after his Iraqi sympathizer stint, Sgt. Slaughter was featured in a series of vignettes, demanding his country back. Similarly, turncoat Jim Duggan has gone back to his flag waving ways and shouting “U-S-A,” sending crowds into a frenzy of patriotism, as they eat up the decades old act, once again.

Drink #185: Firework Fizz

Muddled Peeled Ginger and Blackberries
1.5 oz Vodka (I used Bols, infused with grape powder)
1 tsp Sugar
Top with Ginger Ale
Garnish with Ginger-Wrapped Blackberry

The most patriotic Americans seem to be wrestlers. There was even a wrestler named The Patriot, who wore an American flag-themed mask and tights, wrestled as part of a tag team dubbed Stars and Strpes, and incorporated finishing maneuvers like the Uncle Slam and Patriot Missile. Only in the world of wrestling!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
The Muddled Ginger is certainly an interesting flavour to have in a cocktail. The blend of Ginger and Blackberries is good and Ginger Ale has still yet to fail me. The original recipe calls for Grape Vodka, but personally I have been unable to find it in any of the liqour stores in Canada. Despite this fault, the Grape Powder Infused Vodka worked pretty well, if I don’t say so myself!

July 3 – Karma Killer

Posted on July 3, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Liquor Karma

I am a strong and firm believer in my self-created concept of liquor karma. Being the owner and proprietor of a well-stocked home bar, as well as having a relatively full social calendar, there is much drinking to be done. I feel that if I am good with my duties, keeping my friends and family well-lubricated, then that will be rewarded to me when the time comes for the tables to be turned. Here is my manifesto of liquor and party laws:

If hosting a small gathering with close friends, you should expect people to tap into your stash. If they bring their own goodies, that is great, but unless otherwise stated in your invite, you must always be a good host. If your get together is impromptu, this increases your odds of having to provide. As a guest, “never arrive empty handed” is a good mantra to live by, even if it’s just a couple of beers for yourself.
If your invitation has any semblance of mentioning BYOB, then your guests should BYOB. Sadly, if you are a regular entertainer and have a really good bar, people will rely on you to just take care of them.
Never decimate a friend’s bar. No matter how generous the person is and regardless of what others are doing, show some respect. I’ve seen people drink a host’s expensive scotch… and we’re not talking about having a small glass or two.
When out at the bar, don’t nickel and dime your friends when it’s time to pay the tab. Also, make sure you take your proper turn in paying for the next pitcher of beer or round of cocktails.
Make sure to host the occasional event and take your turn at providing an evening’s worth of entertainment. Not only is it fair to share the responsibilities, but it can be an eye-opener to see how much work actually goes into hosting.

These lessons, as they are presented here, apply to drinking, but they can really work with anything in life from dinners out with friends, to chipping in for transportation, to any number of social events you may be invited to.

Drink #184: Karma Killer

1.5 oz Dark Rum (I used Captain Morgan)
0.25 oz Triple Sec
0.25 oz Peach Schnapps
Top with Fruit Punch
Garnish with Lemon Wheel

I’m happy to report that I have a good core group of friends that do follow this trend. There’s only one black sheep in the group who never brings anything, drinks all my good stuff and doesn’t offer returns when he hosts on rare occasions. So, Fred… you are the weakest link and are no longer allowed at the Sip Advisor’s bar. We’ve put your picture up at all entrances (there’s only one) and you will be escorted off the property if you try to get in.

Sip Advisor’s Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
The original recipe called for Fruit Punch, as well as Orange, Pineapple and Grapefruit Juices, but doesn’t Fruit Punch largely cover all that on its own? So, I nixed all the seperate juices. I also changed the Peach Brandy to Peach Schnapps, so this is really going the way of the adapted screenplay. The Peach Schnapps substitution was well worth it, as it is the sweet aftertaste you get with each sip and that’s quite enjoyable.

July 2 – Journalist Cocktail

Posted on July 2, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Journalistically Yours

Did you know that the Sip Advisor is actually a trained journalist, specializing in the field of sports writing? Well, today just happens to be World Sports Journalists Day. With that in mind, let’s take a look at some of the best fictional anchors, correspondents, and news teams!

Ron Burgundy & Channel 4 News Team – Anchorman

Ron Burgundy and the gang are a ratings sensation, which doesn’t please their rivals at Channel 2, especially fellow anchor Wes Mantooth. Aside from competition, Burgundy and company also have trouble in the form of women entering the news game and wanting their fair share of screen time and top stories. I can’t wait for the Anchorman sequel to come out and for so many new catchphrases to become part of the pop culture lexicon.

Will McAvoy & News Night Staff – The Newsroom

Mrs. Sip and I have just started watching this series and while I find all the yelling at each other and “I love my job so much I’m going to cry” looks very tiring, it’s a great program with amazing writing and characters you can actually root for (unlike another show that shall not be named because I refuse to have it linked in any way to these awesome “journalists”). The second season begins in just a couple weeks and we find ourselves learning more about the world through fiction than we do through, well…the actual news!

Channel 5 News Team – Family Guy

Led by anchor Tom Tucker and his wonderful mustache, the newscast also featured co-anchor Diane Simmons (until she snapped and tried to kill half the town’s residents), angry weatherman Ollie Williams, and token Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa. Tucker is the heart and soul of this team, though, and it’s always fun seeing him report on the absurd news that occurs in Quahog.

Stephen Colbert – The Colbert Report

Yes, Stephen Colbert is a real person, but his persona while delivering the news is completely fabricated… or at least we all hope it is! The super conservative’s take on world events highlights how insane some people’s view of the world can actually be. While I don’t watch The Colbert Report or Daily Show much anymore, I respect both Colbert and Jon Stewart for their work in becoming more trusted than actual newsmen.

FYI Team – Murphy Brown

Featuring hard-hitting reporter Murphy Brown, the FYI program, based in Washington, D.C., does a top job on covering the American capital. Brown is joined by anchor Jim Dial, investigative journalist Frank Fontana, media darling Corky Sherwood, and executive produced Miles Silverberg. The show was known for taking many of their storylines straight from the real headlines. When not on the set, the FYI crew could often be found at their local watering hole, Phil’s, and that I can get down with!

Kent Brockman & Channel 6 News Team – The Simpsons

Springfield’s resident journalist, Kent Brockman, is a trusted source within the community, even if he does have a spotty news record. His feud with traffic reporter Arnie Pye has led to on-air arguments between the two, which is about as professional as you’d expect a person from Springfield to be. Brockman also hosts other programs, such as Eye on Springfield, Smartline, and even game show Springfield Squares. His segment ‘My Two Cents’ is a highlight of most broadcasts.

The Lone Gunmen – X-Files

This troupe of nerd conspiracy theorists and magazine publishers has investigated some of the world’s greatest mysteries. Because of the nature of their examinations, they choose to remain underground and out of the public eye. Sadly, their spinoff show lasted only 13 episodes. While I never really watched the X-Files, I was interested in The Lone Gunmen because conspiracy theories are interesting to consider, while aliens bore me. Stunningly, the show’s pilot episode featured an attack on the World Trade Centre by hijacked planes six months before the actual 9/11 tragedy.

Weekend Update – Saturday Night Live

Whether you think of the original host, Chevy Chase, or the current presenter, Seth Meyers, Saturday Night Live has had a long run of comedians riffing on the news in what is often the show’s best segment. It’s hard to pick my favourite anchor or team among all the candidates, but I enjoyed Jane Curtain’s pairing with Dan Aykroyd, as well as the all-female duo of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.

Drink #183: Journalist Cocktail

1.5 oz Gin (I used Hendrick’s)
0.5 oz Sweet Vermouth
0.5 oz Dry Vermouth
Splash of Triple Sec
Splash of Lemon Juice
Dash of Orange Bitters
Garnish with Lemon Wheel and Pen

This was a hard list to narrow down, as it seems every show has a news element to help forward storyline and such. I even had to cut Sesame Street’s resident journalist, Kermit the Frog!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I like this cocktail, despite my sometimes negative feelings about Vermouths. All the ingredients went well together and none were overwhelming in the recipe. The Hendick’s Gin was a nice touch.

July 1 – Red Maple Sunset

Posted on July 1, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Welcome to Canada

To celebrate Canada Day (my home and native land) I decided to take a look at the pros and cons of this country’s make-up. Why bother looking at what needs improvement, you ask? Well, I feel we should all be always striving to better ourselves and I expect no less from my country. That, and I’m a massive jerk, who likes to rant about things that displease me. On with the ranting!

Pro: Hockey

If you are ever in need of defining what an athlete should be, look no further than a hockey player, preferably of the Canadian variety. There, you will see true glimpses of sportsmanship, humbleness, work ethic, ruggedness, and manliocity. Think of icons like Steve Yzerman, Joe Sakic, Gordie Howe, and ‘The Great One’ Wayne Gretzky.

Con: Expensive Alcohol

Do you know how much easier this 365-day liquor challenge would be if I lived in almost any other country, rather than Canada. Even Canadian manufactured products are ridiculously priced. Whenever Mrs. Sip and I travel south of the border, we make sure to grab a ton of booze because it is just so much more reasonably priced. Sadly, we have limits on what we can bring back and as a law-abiding citizen, I actually follow these allotments… for the most part!

Pro: Good People

Canada has a reputation for its citizens being overly nice and helpful population. This standing is well-earned and as a fictional leader of this great land, I must say that I’m proud of our people and the work we all do to not only make our home a better place, but to welcome strangers from foreign lands.

Con: No Dill Pickle Round Slices

There are a lot of products that I can’t find in Canada, that are available south of the border (in fact, I wrote an entire article about this phenomenon). But one that absolutely flummoxes me is the absence of dill pickles in round slices. If it can be done for sweet pickles, why not dill? Clearly dill pickles can be sliced, but all I ever see is the elongated variety. It has driven me to become an ex-pat of this great nation and must be rectified.

Pro: Beautiful Women

I can say with full conviction that Canada has to have the most beautiful women in the universe. A long walk on a glorious summer day – with dark shades fully ensconced on my noggin’ – is an absolute treat with all the eye candy available to every red-blooded male. Sadly, that beauty gets hidden away during the cold winter months, when everyone is bundling up in toques, scarfs, and jackets, but it’s all worth it again on that first patio-suitable day of spring.

Con: Inclement Weather

As mentioned above, it can get cold and nasty during the winter, up here in the Great White North. Even here in Vancouver, where we have much more mild temperatures, we live in an urban rainforest where we get drenched by buckets of cold rain every year. I know we’re not alone in the not-so-nice weather department, but that doesn’t mean I can’t bitch about it. On the bright side, if you like to ski (or just enjoy watching snow bunnies), we’ve got you covered!

Pro: Strip Clubs with Alcohol

Imagine my shock when my crew saddled up to a strip club in Seattle, Washington for my stag last year and were told that we had a choice: either see naked ladies or keep drinking. Before my friends could answer, I’d already left the lobby, en route to the next liquor establishment. Truth be told, I’m not a strip club regular, but if I do go, I want to be able to have an overpriced brew or cocktail while a young lady makes love to a pole!

Con: No Singles ($1 bills)

How are you supposed to get your money’s worth at the strip club!? The smallest denomination you can tuck into a dancer’s G-string is a fiver. That means you can go through a lot of money in very little time. And don’t even think about making it rain. A small wad of fives, tens, and twenties will pale in comparison to a massive wad of American ones. I guess you could take a jar full of loonies and toonies and toss it into the air and do some serious damage!

Drink #182: Red Maple Sunset

1 oz Campari
1 oz Maple Syrup
Top with Lemon Juice
Splash of Egg Whites
Garnish with Canadian Flag

So, happy birthday Canada! I hope you get all the gifts you’ve wanted and that your next year is as fabulous as the last!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This was my first opportunity to play around with not only Campari, but also Maple Syrup. The drink was a nice mix of sweet and bitter, as the Campari has a fruity taste, with a bitter finish. The Maple Syrup actually worked well with the cocktail, which was a pleasant surprise given it’s a bit of an odd ingredient.

June 30 – Flamingo

Posted on June 30, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Only a Mother Could Love

I’m not a big fan of flamingoes. I think they look weird and smell ever worse. I do like the hotel in Las Vegas, however, home to many Mr. and Mrs. Sip adventures, but I digress. Here is a quick look at some of earth’s other weird, odd, and not-so-attractive wildlife:

Vulture

The vulture is so ugly that they make the perfect villain. Add that to the fact that they scavenge prey that is hurt or sick and eat dead flesh (even letting other animals go first to make their job easier) and you really have one nasty bird. If their eating habits weren’t bad enough, vultures are known to vomit when approached or threatened. Can it get any worse? Of course it can. Vultures urinate down their own legs to kill bacteria from all the carcasses they wade through and also to cool themselves.

Camel

They spit at people because they know they’re ugly and won’t ever be able to repair their image. Camels aren’t even easy to ride on thanks to their humps, their humps, their lovely lady lumps. I would know. Sure they can survive forever in the desert without water and other amenities, but so can sand and I hate that, too. Apparently eating a camel’s hump is considered a delicacy in some parts of the world (you know, the crazy ones) and I’m not sure I could stomach it.

Turkey

These creatures are lucky they’re delicious, or else we would have made sure they went extinct years ago. What’s with the whole bug-eyed giblet look? It’s like they’re not even trying and have made peace with the fact that they look best cooked and served at Thanksgiving or Christmas. At least they have some self-worth, I suppose. I hope the one that is saved every year by the American president enjoys its temporary safety… for now!

Aye-Aye

These bat-rodent crossbreeds are apparently killed on the spot by natives in Madagascar, as they’re viewed as bad omens. Take one look and you can kind of understand why someone may think the little oddity brings bad luck. While I’m completely against animal cruelty, I have to admit that the Aye-Aye is one creepy looking being. As a general nuisance, myself, I kind of have a soft spot for these little freaks, who villagers believe can puncture a victim’s aorta with their little fingers.

Star-Nosed Mole

While regular moles don’t look half bad, the star-nosed mole just looks odd thanks to its tentacle-like nose, which helps the blind as a bat animal do everything it needs to, like see, taste, touch, etc. Thankfully, this isn’t the type of mole depicted in my beloved Wind and the Willows, as I don’t think Ratty would want to live with a star-nosed mole and it certainly wouldn’t be welcome at the prestigious Toad Hall.

Soft-Shell Turtle

I’d rather be viewing soft-serve ice cream than a soft-shell turtle and here’s a little TMI: these turtles pee through their mouth! While your normal everyday turtle can also have its critics, at least we’ve turned them into the loveable Teenage Mutant variety, causing a generation of kids to ask their parents for a turtle, only to find out it doesn’t eat pizza and whip out catch phrases like “radical”, “gnarly”, and “cowabunga”!

Blobfish

What a nightmare this creature is. It looks like a slug with a bitter beer face. If Jabba the Hut was ever to be a real living being, this would be it. All it does is float around and eat whatever is right in front of it and happens to get swallowed. I can respect an animal that works hard and catches its own food. One that doesn’t do much of anything will have to work harder for my endorsement.

Proboscis Monkey

While I hate to put any monkey on this list, I just can’t let this species slide under the radar. It demeans all other primates if I don’t out them. The schnoz on these beasts is pretty epic. It looks like a giant yam, except you wouldn’t be able to get yummy fries out of it. The proboscis monkey does have a wild sex life, but unfortunately isn’t very long-lasting, another mark against it.

Naked Mole Rat

And the mole makes the list twice… well done genus… or is it phylum? Ah, who cares! I normally love hearing the word ‘naked’, but in this case, all I can do is close my eyes and shed a tear. Why didn’t anybody ever tell this creature to put its clothes back on? Perhaps if it ran around wearing a miniature Hawaiian shirt and khakis it wouldn’t be so bad to look at. Add some shades and you might even have a loveable creature.

Monkfish

I can’t believe these things are actually edible and their tail meat has been compared to that of the uber-delicious lobster. It has even been dubbed “the poor man’s lobster”, but can sometimes command market prices equal or even higher than lobster. All this talk about lobster has got me all hungry. Then I take another look at the monkfish photo and adios appetite.

Drink #181: Flamingo

1.5 oz Gin (I used Tanqueray)
0.5 oz Apricot Brandy
Dash of Lime Juice
Splash of Grenadine
Garnish with a Flamingo Stir Stick & Lime Wedge

After viewing all that ugly, I have to flip through cute kitten memes before bed, just to make sure I don’t have any nightmares. Here’s a site I suggest for some happy viewing. Thanks for reading!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
There is also a Flamingo recipe that consists of Vodka, Triple Sec, Peach Schnapps, and Cranberry Juice, as well as a blend that involves Apple Schnapps, Melon Liqueur and Cranberry Juice. Why there are so many different Flamingo drinks, we may never know. This drink has a little of everything. It’s sweet with the Apricot Brandy and Grenadine, sour with the Lime Juice and bitter with the Tanqueray Gin. The taste is complex, but it works and you can’t say anything bad about the colour that results from the ingredients mixing.

June 29 – Seven Deadly Sins

Posted on June 29, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Sin-tillating

The Seven Deadly Sins have always fascinated me. I have one problem with them though. Looking back, I know I’ve broken each and every one of them and I’m still kicking ass. Here’s how I’ve broken all the rules (and lived to tell about it)!

Lust

Have you seen Mrs. Sip? How could you NOT lust over this gorgeous creature? Perhaps I haven’t been busted for this sin because my advances are often rebuffed. It kind of makes sense. She can’t just give it away for free… or so I’ve been told. Similarly, sometimes I pass by a mirror and catch a glimpse of myself. Unlike Narcissus, I’m able to pull myself away from this godly image for happy hours!

Greed

If I wasn’t so lazy, I’d have more time to be greedy. That said, I do find great pleasure in my possessions, notably my prized muddler, cocktail shaker and jigger. Some of my favoruite characters are the type who have everything and would be hard to buy gifts for, including Scrooge McDuck, Iron Man, and the Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase.

Envy

I get jealous every time I walk into a bar and see their liquor collection. While my cabinet is nothing short of amazing, I would love to have all the different flavours at my disposal that most lounges have. I’ll get there one day, but it seems every time I add a couple bottles, I run out of other spirits. It’s a constant vicious circle which I plan to eventually conquer.

Gluttony

I am prone to the occasional feast, usually centered on chips and cookies as main courses! Then, in reverse order, we follow up with starters of pulled pork, hot dogs, burgers, and a menagerie of side dishes. Dessert still finishes the meal and is comprised of a complete ice cream sundae bar, with a million toppings, like crushed chocolate bars, cookie bits, syrups and, of course, sprinkles!

Sloth

Let’s look at my daily schedule: wake up, watch TV, drink, take a nap, drink some more, order food to be delivered, watch more TV, go to bed. Yup, seems like I can check off this sin, as well. It gets a little sad when you end up making an indentation in your favourite couch spot. This is as close to marking your territory as a human should get though, so we should all let it slide.

Wrath

Hell hath no fury like the Sip Advisor scorned… in general, I’m like the Ned Flanders of the liquor world, letting folks walk all over me. But just like when ol’ Neddy finally hit his breaking point and snapped in epic proportions, I’ve been known to spontaneously combust and when that occurs, look out. Richter scale readings have been registered when I boil over and go boom.

Pride

I can be a very boastful person… you have to be when you’re a blog entrepreneur. I have no problem annoying Facebook, Twitter, and other social media outlets with my posts and advertising this wonderful site that has brought so much pleasure to me and perhaps even to one or two others. If you have a problem with this, I’d like to see you stop me!

Drink #180: Seven Deadly Sins

0.25 oz Southern Comfort
0.25 oz Bailey’s Irish Crème
0.25 oz Sambuca
0.25 oz Blue Curacao
0.25 oz Kahlua
0.25 oz Grenadine

As it says in my mixology app, the seventh sin is drinking the shot… well, consider that done!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
Layer the ingredients in order from the bottom to the top. I thought this shot tasted really good, with a slight burn, but nothing too extreme. The layering of spirits worked out reasonably well, although some of the colours blended together, like the Kahlua and Blue Curacao. You can’t win ’em all!

June 28 – Strange Brew

Posted on June 28, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Morning Dew

Well, we’ve reached the end of our Mountain Dew experience. I think I’ve drank enough of the pop in the last few days that I should be signed to an endorsement deal. Seriously, Mountain Dew… come search me out and sign me up! You’ll learn quickly that I’ll do anything for some cash! Here are some more alcohols I’d love to spend that sweet money on:

Absolut Grapevine

Like I wrote yesterday about Absolut Exposure (found in the Copenhagen Duty Free), Absolut Grapevine is another “Traveler’s Exclusive”, forcing alcoholics like myself to constantly leave the country in search of booze. This liquor combines white grapes with sweet papaya and dragon fruit. Colour me interested!

Cocoribe

This spirit, found in United States (although its name and ingredients make you think of the Caribbean), combines coconut milk with rum. I’m assuming it would be very similar in taste to Malibu Rum, but with the coconut milk, it might be thicker and, of course, the colour would be white instead of clear.

Smirnoff North

What do you get when you combine Russian vodka practices with Nordic berries? Well, Smirnoff North for one and probably some other crazy KGB type stuff. I definitely want to give this vodka a run for its money before going on a rampage destroying Fabergé eggs and Matryoshka dolls.

Forbidden Fruit Liqueur

Everyone wants to taste the forbidden fruit, which in this case, is made from a particular type of grapefruit called shaddock and mixed with honey and brandy. Apparently, the alcohol hasn’t been made for some time, so this one may be harder to track down than originally thought. *sad face*

Williams Chase Elegant Crisp Gin

This apple-flavoured gin comes highly recommend from a friend living in the U.K. Gin hasn’t seen the explosion of flavour options that other liquors like rum and vodka have and perhaps that’s because the juniper taste of gin is hard to alter or overcome. When a flavoured gin product does come out, like Hendricks cucumber-flavoured gin, it should be tried just for the sake of experimentation.

Drink #179: Strange Brew

Rim glass with Grape Fun Dip
1.5 oz Vodka (I used Grey Goose Cherry Noir)
Top with Mountain Dew: Supernova
Splash of Orange Juice
Garnish with Red and Green Grapes

Well, that wraps up our four-day tour of liquors I want to taste. How desperate am I to have these substances meet my taste buds? Let’s just say that I’m working on plans of world dominance and ransom, in exchange for booze. It can’t fail!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
With every sip of this cocktail, I felt like I was drinking an energy drink. And that’s not necessarily a good thing. I don’t know if that was because I was using the Cherry Noir Vodka or if the Mountain Dew itself was to blame. A large portion of this drink’s points come from the wonderful job I feel I did with presentation. From the goblet glassware choice to garnishing the drink with Red and Green Grapes and Fun Dip, I feel it’s one of the most comprehensive cocktails I’ve put together! The Supernova flavour on its own isn’t that bad, with notes of berries and I really like the colour of the pop, a violet hue you don’t often see, which inspires me to experiment.

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