August 15 – Time Bomb

Posted on August 15, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

Time Transport

I think it’s safe to say that we would all love to have access to a time machine. To be able to go back and fix our wrong turns or relive some of our finest moments would be an amazing ability. Now that we’ve decided we want to go back in time, all we have to choose is the vessel for our travels. Here are some of the greatest we’ve been introduced to:

#5: Phone Booth – Bill & Ted’s

When Bill and Ted desperately need to pass their history presentation (thus leading to the survival of the human race, of course!) a time machine is required to go back through the ages and learn from the legends themselves. The time machine was originally to be a 1969 Chevy van, rather than a phone booth, but that would be too close to Back to the Future. Today, none of this would be possible, given the phone booth is a thing of the past… plus, space would be kind of tight for multiple travellers.

#4: Toaster – The Simpsons

This is one of my favourite Treehouse of Horror segments, which finds Homer sent back into the time of the dinosaurs, trying not to alter anything from the past, knowing that it could have dire repercussions on his present and future. While he narrowly misses a perfect life, worrying that donuts don’t exist, he settles for an alternate reality that is close to the present he remembers, with the one difference being that the rest of his family eats with extending forked tongues, resembling a lizard.

#3: Hot Tub – Hot Tub Time Machine

I’ve always loved chilling out (or better put, warming up) in a hot tub, with a beer by my side. Had I ever experimented with the Russian energy drink Chernobly – and spilled it all over the hot tub controls – I may have ended up back in the past, reliving a portion of my younger life. At least Chevy Chase was on the case as the mysterious repairman, trying to help the gang get back to their present. I have yet to watch the sequel to this franchise, but it’s high on my ‘to do’ list for more histrionic learning.

#2: Ocarina – Legend of Zelda

How can one little instrument produce so much beautiful music… and songs that really help our hero Link! The ocarina can change day into night and vice versa, summon a horse, and make it rain (the weather, not the cash at the strip club style… although it would be entertaining to watch Link throw rubies at Princess Zelda!). Perhaps the ocarina’s most important feature is that it helps Link jump throughout time, utilizing the Song of Time. We would all love to skip those awkward puberty years!

#1: DeLorean – Back to the Future

The DeLorean can take people back into the past, as well as years into the future – so long as you can get it up to 88 miles per hour… oh, and also have access to a flux capacitor! Early drafts of the film’s script called for a laser device to induce time travel, but a vehicle was eventually incorporated into later edits, with the DeLorean selected thanks to its unique appearance. Despite the popularity the car enjoyed, following the movie’s release, production of the vehicle had already halted two years prior.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Time Bomb

1 oz Tequila
Splash of Cranberry Juice
Garnish with a Cranberry

Honourable mentions go to the TARDIS (Doctor Who), the WABAC Machine (Mr. Peabody and Sherman), Timmy’s Wheelchair (South Park), and Binary Code (Futurama). Even Superman was able to reverse time by simply flying really fast and spinning the earth in the opposite direction of what gravity dictated. If only it was that easy!

August 8 – Cheesecake Shot

Posted on August 9, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

Old Country Buffet

As we are enjoy the summer season and all the food-based gatherings that come with it, I thought it was a great opportunity to look at the field of competitive eating. I’m surely not very good at packing away food (booze on the other hand!), but these folks excel at it:

#5: The Ladies

Competitive eating may be one of the most open “sports” to equality for both genders. There have a number of notable female champion consumers, including Sonya ‘The Black Widow’ Thomas, Molly Schuyler, and Miki Sudo. These gals specialize is foods that include hot dogs, Kimchi, chicken wings, chili cheese fries, crab cakes, hard-boiled eggs, oysters, and steaks. While Schuyler and Sudo are newer to the competitive eating circuit, Thomas has accumulated a small fortune thanks to her exploits, with an estimated $100,000 in career winnings. The native of South Korea is small in stature, weighing in at less than 100 pounds for some of her most memorable events.

#4: Jason Conti

Nicknamed ‘Crazy Legs’, Conti got into competitive eating kind of innocently. He started as a fan of the Nathan’s 4^th of July Hot Dog Eating Competition, before winning an oyster eating contest (he ate 400 of the shellfish aphrodisiacs) in New Orleans, and then began a career in the discipline. Conti has held world records for eating green beans and sweet corn, so I guess that’s kind of healthy. A documentary on Conti, titled Crazy Legs Conti: Zen And The Art Of Competitive Eating, was released in 2004. According to the film, Conti has held numerous jobs, among them: a window washer, nude model, and sperm donor (the trifecta of awesome!).

#3: Adam Richman

The fun-loving host of Man vs. Food may not be your traditional competitive eater, but he’s game for food challenges across the United States. Each episode of the popular Travel Channel series, shows Richman in a different city, where he visits three different must-eat-at local favourite restaurants. At the final stop, Richman takes on the eatery’s menu challenge. These have included spice trials, as well as masses of food, with Richman owning a personal record of 37 victories to 27 losses. To train for his challenges, Richman would try not to eat the day before the big meal, while drinking large amounts of water of club soda. Upon retiring from the competitive eating game, Richman dropped more than 60 pounds.

#2: Joey Chestnut

Perhaps the most famous of all competitive eaters, thanks to his annual success at the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Contest (held each Fourth of July in Coney Island, New York), the man nicknamed Jaws, is proficient at gobbling hot dogs, chicken wings, pizza, and jalapeno poppers, holding International Federation of Competitive Eating (IFOCE) records in each discipline. Chestnut has even been featured on his own trading card, which would be a big enough honour. He has amassed a total of $200,000 in winnings, as well as two cars and a motorcycle. Not bad, for getting fed!

#1: Takeru Kobayashi

Speaking of guys that can destroy hot dogs, Takeru Kobayashi used to own the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Contest – winning six straight Independence Day classics – before Chestnut came along and won the next eight. The slender Japanese eater is known for his Kobayashi Shake, in which he wiggles his body around, forcing food to move through his body and settle across his stomach. On an episode of Man vs. Beast, Kobayashi came up on the losing end of a hot dog eating contest against a Kodiak bear, but he does hold Guinness Records in eating, include hot dogs, meatballs, Twinkies, hamburgers, pizza, and pasta.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Cheesecake Shot

Rim glass with Graham Cracker Crumbs
1 oz Vanilla Vodka
0.5 oz Cranberry Juice

I feel that I should give at least one eating challenge a shot at some point in my life. I won’t win, I know that, but then I could say that I was a competitive eater. You’re right, I’m not sure that’s something to be proud of!

August 1 – The Vancouver

Posted on August 1, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

Homegrown Hope

In this neck of the woods, this holiday long weekend is anchored by B.C. Day, which celebrates the province we British Columbians call home. With that in mind, the Sip Advisor wanted to look at the greatest citizens of the land (from the sports and entertainment realms, rather than politics, activism, and humanitarianism). Today, we salute these fine folks!

#5: Joe Sakic

Burnaby Joe, as he’s affectionately known in this corner of the world, was a two-time Stanley Cup champion (with the Colorado Avalanche – the team he now manages) and 13-time NHL all-star, winning numerous league awards during his career. Perhaps his greatest claim to fame was his role in leading Canada to their first Olympic hockey gold medal in 2002. Sakic recorded four goals and six assists in the tournament, including four points in the gold medal game, helping him earn MVP honours.

#4: Ryan Reynolds

The Green Lantern himself, Ryan Reynolds and I actually share the same alma mater and there is some debate over who is the most famous alumnus. Reynolds list of wives is quite impressive, rivaling his filmography. The Vancouver-born star has exchanged nuptials with singer Alanis Morissette, and actresses Scarlett Johansson and Blake Lively. In 2016, Reynolds will star as the antihero Deadpool (in the film of the same name), a character he first played in X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

#3: Seth Rogen

The cannabis smoking funny man responsible (with writing partner Evan Goldberg) for movies such as Superbad, Pineapple Express, This is the End, and The Interview, was born and bred in Vancouver. Rogen has also appeared in popular comedies including The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, and Neighbors, while providing his voice to animated productions like Shrek, Kung Fu Panda, and Horton Hears a Who! Not bad for an atypical Hollywood leading man.

#2: Steve Nash

Being an undersized white kid from Canada, not many could have projected that Steve Nash would have an NBA career, let alone a Hall of Fame caliber one. Even crazier, Nash didn’t start playing basketball until he was 12 or 13 years old. The Victoria, B.C. native (born in South Africa) recently retired after 18 NBA seasons, including two as league MVP. Today, Nash runs a chain of gyms located around the province, as well as owns a stake in the Vancouver Whitecaps of Major League Soccer.

#1: Bryan Adams

The musician famous for songs such as Summer of ’69, Heaven, Everything I Do, and All for Love, has been rocking the world since the mid 70’s when he was only a teenager. Adams has also worked with some of the music industry’s most famous stars, including Tina Turner, Sting, Rod Stewart, and too many others to name. His work on soundtracks for movies like Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and The Three Musketeers brought him to another level of international fame, which he enjoys to this day.

Super Saturday Shot Day: The Vancouver

0.75 oz Gin
0.25 oz Sweet Vermouth
Splash of Jagermeister
Dash of Orange Bitters
Garnish with a Lemon Twist

Vancouver Canucks legend Trevor Linden (a Medicine Hat, Alberta native) would have been included on this list, had he been more than an adopted son of the province. One day, someone else will write a similar list and the Sip Advisor will rank among the greatest British Columbians… mark my words!

July 25 – Lipstick Lesbian

Posted on July 25, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

Coming Out

With Pride weekend upon us, I thought it would be a good opportunity to look at the greatest LGBT characters… and there are a lot of them, making this list very hard to narrow down. Somehow, the Sip Advisor was able to thin the herd, so let’s get to it!

#5: Daffyd Thomas – Little Britain

While he claims to be the only gay in the village, Daffyd takes exception when he’s not being recognized for his sexuality and while he feels he’s turning heads and making a statement, everyone else is totally cool with his lifestyle. In fact, many of the townspeople are also members of the LGBT community. Ironically, when others reveal their sexual orientation, Daffyd is prone to homophobic outbursts.

#4: Lafayette Reynolds – True Blood

The heavy make-up wearing, eyelash extension rocking short order cook makes the world of Bon Temps go round, in his own unique way. Interestingly, Lafayette is killed off very early in The Southern Vampire Mysteries books, but the TV series took a different approach, as the character proved to be so popular with audiences. In a world full of horny, indiscriminate vampires, anything and everything can happen.

#3: Mr./Mrs. Garrison – South Park

Garrison has been everything from a straight male, to a gay male, to a transgendered straight female, to finally a transgendered lesbian female. Covering the entire gamut, Garrison is one of the show’s funniest characters and would make for a fascinating teacher. We have to remember that this is a universe where Satan also identifies as gay, having been in a relationship with Saddam Hussein of all people!

#2: Waylon Smithers – The Simpsons

Poor Mr. Smithers… all he wants is to be loved and respected by his boss, Mr. Burns, who barely acknowledges his existence and hard work. The writers of The Simpsons joke that Mr. Smithers is “Burns-sexual,” although he is regularly seen as a fixed member of the Springfield LGBT community and social scene. Hopefully Mr. Smithers finds happiness, whether with or without Mr. Burns.

#1: Cam & Mitchell – Modern Family

Cam and Mitchell put the “modern” in Modern Family more so than any of the other characters. Over the course of the show, we’ve seen Cam and Mitchell’s relationship grow to include the adoption of a daughter and tying the knot. Throughout it all, the rest of the family has been incredibly supportive, even Mitchell’s old school father Jay, who while he doesn’t always show it, is very proud of his son.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Lipstick Lesbian

Wrap glass with Rainbow Candy
0.5 oz Watermelon Pucker
0.5 oz Raspberry Vodka
Splash of Cranberry Juice
Dash of Sour Mix
Garnish with a Lime Wedge

Some honourable mentions go to Lt. Jim Dangle (Reno 911), Dean Craig Pelton (Community), Lloyd Lee (Entourage), Oscar Martinez (The Office), Mr. Humphries (Are You Being Served?), Ray Gillette (Archer), Willow Rosenberg (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), and – allegedly! – Bert and Ernie (Sesame Street). Have I missed anyone? Feel free to let me know below!

July 18 – Red Baron #2

Posted on July 19, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

Sordid Sequels

With the prevalence of movie sequels nowadays (the summer season being riddled with them), it’s amazing that some of these franchises never received a second treatment. Hell, we waited 20 years for a follow-up to Dumb & Dumber! Some supplemental films get stuck in development hell (for example, Jurassic World, which was finally released last month, 14 years after the last film), while others never get off the ground and running. Here are the Top 5 films we should have seen a sequel to:

#5: Quick Hits

I’m going to lead off this article with a few honourable mentions, with brief ideas I would have for the sequels. Snakes on a Plane – Why not ‘Snakes on a Train’!? Wedding Crashers – The twist for this movie is that the main characters from the original have their wedding crashed, by the next generation of comedic stars. Serenity – What’s left of the infamous space crew goes after Fox executives to teach them lessons on giving up too soon. Team America: World Police – Not gonna lie, I just want more puppets! If any film studios want to hire me, my agent will be happy to hammer out a contract!

#4: Zombieland

Mrs. Sip and I are big fans of the original movie, particularly the rules of surviving a zombie apocalypse that appeared throughout the film. Following the success of the first installment, all of the main cast members expressed interest in returning for a sequel, but nothing has come to fruition as of yet. There was an attempt to bring Zombieland to the small screen with both a CBS and later Amazon series, but the CBS run never materialized and an Amazon ordered pilot was not picked up. In October 2014, rumours of a movie sequel surfaced again, so there’s still a chance for the franchise.

#3: Roger Rabbit

A sequel to Roger Rabbit has been in development for years, following the success of the first movie, released all the way back in 1988. One of the biggest hurdles was original director Steven Spielberg having a change of heart, as the original script would have seen Roger’s origin story and saving Jessica Rabbit from being kidnapped by Nazis. After Spielberg made Schindler’s List, he decided he could no longer combine Nazis and comedy. In 2013, news surfaced of a Roger Rabbit-Mickey Mouse buddy comedy, but no updates have come from the original reports.

#2: Beetlejuice

There have been numerous attempts to bring a second Beetlejuice movie to the big screen after the quirky 1988 film was both a critical and commercial success. Scripts have been written that included Beetlejuice moving his operations to Hawaii, where he was to battle an ancient Hawaiian Kahuna and win surf competitions… seriously, this was in the script. As recently as January 2015, news broke that a script had been finished and that director Tim Burton, along with stars Michael Keaton and Wynona Ryder would participate.

#1: Ghostbusters

With a third installment of the popular Ghostbusters franchise due in theatres in 2016, it will have been a long time between releases, with Ghostbusters 2 hitting big screens all the way back in 1989. Since then, fans have held their breath, waiting for a follow-up. Interestingly, the third film will star a cast of female Ghostbusters, including Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Wiig. Will that work out for the devoted supporters that have longed for just one more run of the Ecto 1? Time will only tell, but I’m willing to give it a chance.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Red Baron #2

0.75 oz Crown Royal
0.5 oz Amaretto
Splash of Cranberry Juice
Garnish with Cranberries

There’s a great scene at the end of 22 Jump Street that suggests the franchise could make numerous sequels in the future; everything from Medical School to Culinary School. There are some films, however, that as much as I’d love to see more of the story or characters, are better as one-offs. This list would include Inception, The Sixth Sense, and Fight Club… you know, movies with cliffhanger endings or big twists that just couldn’t be replicated.

July 11 – Scorpion’s Tail

Posted on July 11, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

A Movie of Their Own

With the Minions (more on them later) getting their own movie, out in theatres this weekend, the Sip Advisor thought it would be a good time to look at other characters that proved so popular that they earned their own film(s). Kind of like how Mrs. Sip keeps trying to break away from me and launch her own brand… too bad for her, she’s under contract for years to come!

#5: The Scorpion King

After a brief appearance in The Mummy Returns (in one of the worst CGI effects of all-time), wrestling star The Rock launched his Hollywood career with his own film, as the titular Scorpion King. While it wasn’t going to garner any Oscar consideration, the action in this movie was great and the story pretty good, too. Three additional movies have joined the franchise, although The Rock vacated the role.

#4: Machete

It’s funny that the ultraviolent Machete first appeared in the children’s movie franchise Spy Kids, before branching out on his own vigilante activities. Played to badass perfection by Danny Trejo (a former prison inmate before turning to acting), the Machete character has enjoyed two film installments to date, featuring massive deadly weapons, beautiful women, and a lot of creative kills.

#3: Puss in Boots

This suave little kitty stole out hearts, starting with Shrek 2, en route to his own movie and Netflix TV series. Puss in Boots may have existed since 1697, but he has never been more popular than when he sliced and purred his way through various enemies in the DreamWorks films. Voiced by Antonio Banderas, Puss is based on the classic character Zorro, another role tackled by Banderas.

#2: Inspector Jacques Clouseau

This bumbling detective character is a favourite of the Sip Family, as is star Peter Sellers. Just a side character in the first film of the franchise, The Pink Panther, Sellers stole the show away from lead David Niven and never looked back. As Clouseau, a number of additional movies were made under the Pink Panther banner, up until Sellers died in 1980, at the age of only 54.

#1: The Minions

I love these little yellow guys, despite the fact I can’t understand most of what they say. The trailer for this movie is pure gold, with the Minions switching from one evildoer to another, after accidentally killing their masters throughout the ages, including an Egyptian pharaoh, Dracula, Napoleon, and others. I can’t wait to check out the movie and I know I’m not alone in that desire!

Super Saturday Shot Day: Scorpion’s Tail

0.5 oz Coconut Rum
0.5 oz Banana Liqueur
Top with Cranberry Juice
Splash of Pineapple Juice
Garnish with a Pineapple Wedge

Honourable mentions include Jay and Silent Bob, the Penguins of Madagascar, and Aldous Snow (Get Him to the Greek). I wasn’t sure how to handle comic characters, such as Wolverine and Elektra, as they are their own entities, so I’ll leave them in this section. Hate if you want, but let’s all just relax and have a drink!

July 4 – Stars and Stripes

Posted on July 4, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

American Made

While my neighbours to the south celebrate their Independence Day, I’d like to salute the most steadfast American patriots… well, at least of the fictional variety. And no, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter doesn’t count! On with the list:

#5: Sam the Eagle

This Muppet is a staunch advocate for the good ol’ U-S-of-A, while also being a straight-laced defender of decency and high culture. He certainly doesn’t fit in with many of his fellow Muppets, who rely on slapstick routines and lower-brow entertainment. Perhaps Sam’s biggest role was in the recent Muppets Most Wanted film, where he, as a CIA agent, teamed with an Interpol agent to clear the good name of Kermit the Frog and save the entire Muppets troupe, in the process.

#4: Wrestling

The wrestling world is rife with American patriotism, featuring countless battles between red, white, and blue clad heroes versus villainous foreign foes. It’s hard to pinpoint one grappler in particular, but these are a few of the many who have fought in defense of Old Glory, capitalism, and the American way: Hulk Hogan, Lex Luger, Kurt Angle, The Patriot, Sgt. Slaughter, ‘Hacksaw’ Jim Duggan, Jack Swagger, Dusty Rhodes, Corporal Kirchner, and the American Express. U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A!

#3: G.I. Joes

This line of Hasbro action figures was first released in 1964, representing four divisions of the United States’ armed forces: the army, navy, air force, and marines. In fact, the releases were the first to ever receive the designation “action figures”. A cartoon later came in 1985, which saw the Joes battle the evil terrorist group Cobra. Two films, in 2009 and 2013 (with one to come in 2016) have also been released for the franchise. Good will always triumph over evil!

#2: Uncle Sam

Used as a major symbol for propaganda, particularly during war times, Uncle Sam (who coincidentally has the initials, U.S.) has existed for approximately 200 years. Many believe that Uncle Sam was based on Samuel Wilson, a meat packer from Troy, New York, who helped provide soldiers with rations during the War of 1812. Regardless, if you see Uncle Sam, he probably wants you to fight for the country, joining one of the branches of U.S. armed forces.

#1: Captain America

Battling evil forces, the likes of which include the Red Skull, Barons Helmut and Heinrich Zero, Flag Smasher, and even Adolf Hitler, himself, Captain America is the ultimate defender and avenger (see what I did there!) of the United States against oppressors from other evil nations. With his trusty red, white, and blue shield, Captain America will be protecting the country (and world) for years to come. And to think, he was originally rejected as a member of the army, before going super soldier.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Stars and Stripes

0.5 oz Grenadine
0.5 oz Blue Curacao
0.5 oz Peach Schnapps

I was surprised at how difficult this article was to put together. I figured there would be so many more glaring examples of fictional American patriots, but many weren’t so obvious. Perhaps I’ve just missed a number of folks that should have made this list. Let me know if I’m guilty of neglect!

June 27 – True Canadian

Posted on June 27, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

Canadian Content

Recently, we looked at some of the most notable Canadian patriots and icons, in RL (that means real life!). Today, we enter the fictional world and examine some of the greatest contributions to this country’s (and outside its borders) culture, from persons who have never actually existed:

#5: Northstar

While many have probably not heard of Northstar, he is an important figure in comic history and LGBT culture. A member of the Canadian Alpha Flight team (also featuring his sister Aurora and other members, such as Guardian, Sasquatch, Shaman, and Snowbird), Northstar gained notoriety for being the first openly gay major character created by Marvel Comics. Despite debuting in April 1979, Northstar didn’t officially come out until 1992. The superhero was finally allowed to marry his partner 20 years later, in 2012.

#4: Bob and Doug McKenzie

These two hosers got their beginning on the SCTV sketch comedy show, leading to a feature film, Strange Brew, in which they are thrust into becoming unlikely heroes, trying to save their favourite brewery. If that’s not a definitive Canadian story, I don’t know what is! These roles launched the careers of both Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas. In a great casting choice, Disney reunited the McKenzie brothers to play a pair of comical moose, Rutt and Tuke, in the movie Brother Bear, also set in the Canadian wilderness.

#3: Ike Broflovski –South Park

Ike is the adopted brother of Kyle, born in Canada as Peter Gints. As the main characters have aged, so has Ike, who is now in kindergarten, despite being only three years old. Any episode that revolves around Ike is usually pretty good, whether he’s entered into a relationship with his adult teacher, is going through early puberty, caused by steroid, or is saving the Canadian Princess (wait, we have one of those?). Crude TV stars Terrence and Phillip are also Canadian, which is why the folks of South Park, Colorado aren’t too happy with their neighbours from the north!

#2: Trailer Park Boys

Julian, Ricky, Bubbles, and the rest of the gang seem to always be getting themselves into trouble, as they move from one get-rich-quick scheme to another, trying to avoid the capture of police and Sunnyvale Trailer Park disciplinarian Mr. Lahey and his partner in crime (and other things) Randy. Set in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, this mockumentary shows the love that can develop between folks stuck in hard times, as they scratch and claw their way towards better lives, sometimes taking shortcuts, rather than conventional means.

#1: Wolverine

One of the most rugged, bad ass superheroes has Canadian blood running through his veins… well, that and adamantium bones! Wolverine debuted all the way back in 1974 and over the rest of the decade, grew in popularity, leading to his own four-part series in 1982. The character has proven to be so prevalent, that he has been the focal point of numerous movies for the franchise. Wolverine’s on-again, off-again enemy Sabretooth also hails from Canada, as does Deadpool, who has been previously played by Canadian actor Ryan Reynolds, and will be again in the 2016 eponymous feature film.

Super Saturday Shot Day: True Canadian

Rim glass with Bacon Bits
0.75 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Maple Syrup

In closing, I have to include an honourable mention for Anne Shirley (better known as Anne of Green Gables), or else Mrs. Sip might strip me (wait for it) of my Canadian citizenship! Next week, we get to look at the fictional patriots from south of the border… and there are a lot of them!

June 13 – PayDay

Posted on June 13, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

Extravagant Eccentricities

With great money comes great financial stupidity… or at least that’s how it seems for some celebrities and their spending habits. Here are some of the wildest purchases made by the stars, many of which later led to financial hardships:

#5: Kanye West – 10 Burger King Franchises ($7.5 million)

I think many people dream of owning their own fast food chain (unless they’re vegan or some other weird dietary thing), having the food at their disposal whenever they are in need of a quick snack. Hell, Richie Rich had a McDonald’s in his expansive mansion back in the 1994 feature film. Anyway, how have we not started calling Kanye ‘The Burger King’? Is it because he bought these joints for his wife, Kim Kardashian, as a wedding gift? At least, access to all those BK outlets, across Europe, will certainly help Kardashian keep up her ample assets.

#4: Mike Tyson – Bathtub ($2 million)

That bathtub, given to now ex-wife Robin Givens as a Christmas present, would have to be jewel-encrusted and include technology only seen on The Jetson’s to justify the exorbitant cost. For the Sip Advisor, it would also have to be outfitted with laser beams that caused Mrs. Sip to immediately shed her clothing, whenever activated (by remote control, of course!). I mean, I guess that’s what people generally do before getting into the tub, but it would be a required feature for me. Tyson’s money troubles have been well-documented, with the former Heavyweight Champ racking up millions in debt.

#3: Celine Dion – Humidifier ($2 million)

We get it, you use your voice (unfortunately) to make your oodles of money, but $2 million seems incredibly excessive for a device you can usually find for a few hundred dollars… and that’s if you want to splurge. For the amount of money Dion was willing to shell out, there better be guarantees that you will never suffer from deadly diseases, such as cancer, heart disease, and basically everything else that can be medically diagnosed. The air moisturizer was installed into her Las Vegas hotel room when she was performing nightly at the Caesar’s Palace Coliseum. Viva Las Vegas, I suppose.

#2: Kim Basinger – City of Braselton, Georgia ($20 million)

Talk about getting bad advice from your entourage. In 1989, Basinger was encouraged by family members to buy the town of Braselton, Georgia, for $20 million. What association did Basinger and company have with the city of Braselton? Absolutely none. You’d think she was born there or at least had a wonderful family vacation there in her youth. Basinger tried to turn the town into a resort destination, which would host an annual film festival, along with other tourist attractions and movie studios. The whole ordeal caused Basinger to file for bankruptcy and have tension with her family.

#1: Nicholas Cage – Numerous (Millions and millions…)

No wonder the Oscar winner has had his fair share of financial difficulties, given the lavish spending habits he has exhibited, throughout his career. Cage can be credited with buying everything from a Bavarian castle, to a tropical island, to a dinosaur skull. He has also assembled one of the most impressive comic book collections, including Action Comics #1, featuring the debut of Superman. Thus, Cage has been forced to take a number of roles that he really should have avoided, simply to earn a paycheck. I gotta say, though, $3 million for an island in the Bahamas seems pretty reasonable!

Super Saturday Shot Day: PayDay

Rim the glass with Salt
1 oz Butterscotch Schnapps
1 oz Frangelico
Garnish with a PayDay Ball

There are so many other bizarre, expensive purchases made by celebrities, it’s hard to cram them all into one article. Suffice to say, if you have the money, why not enjoy it. Too often, though, these stars’ lifestyles often lead to trouble, when the cash coming in and going out doesn’t even out.

June 6 – Baby Aspirin

Posted on June 6, 2015 by Daniel Wilson

Rockabye Baby

While wee little sippers are still a little down the road for Mrs. Sip and I, they are a subject that is often on our minds and that has inspired today’s article. Here are the Top 5 babies, some of which make having children seem like a great idea, while the others put a vasectomy at the top of the Sip Advisor’s “To Do” list!

#5: Muppet Babies

What do you get when you take the awesome Muppets and turn them into little babies? One of the most imaginative, adorable shows ever conceived, of course. This version of the characters sees Kermit and the gang as youngsters living in a nursery and being watched by the never-seen Nanny. Each episode saw the future variety act stars learning life lessons through their vivid imaginations. The Muppet Babies theme song is an absolute classic that I still find stuck in my head every so often.

#4: Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm – The Flintstones

It would be criminal to not include these two tykes; especially given the Sip Family has named cats after them. Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm go from little neighbours, brought together by the friendship of their respective parents, to dating as teenagers in the sequel series, The Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm Show. Eventually, the pair even got married and had twins. Now, if that isn’t a case of love at first sight, I don’t know what is!

#3: Stewie Griffin – Family Guy

While he’s much more intellectually-advanced compared to others on this list, Stewie is still a baby… and he can be a naughty little baby, indeed. For quite some time, his main objective in life is to murder his own mother. While this desire eventually fades, Stewie hasn’t completely changed his tune and is often getting up to some level of mischief – sometimes in different generations throughout history – thanks to his time machine and other inventions.

#2: Rugrats

The adventures of the Rugrats gang typically revolve around the babies learning the ways of the world. This included potty training, first trips to the public swimming pool, and going through the naked phase. Led by the seemingly fearless Tommy Pickles, the other youngsters include the oft-terrified Chucky Finster, and wild twins Phil and Lil DeVille. Tommy’s cousin Angelica was always around to stir up trouble for the babies, who we later got to see as pre-teens in the show All Grown Up.

#1: Maggie Simpson – The Simpsons

Mrs. Sip and I absolutely adore Maggie, who despite never uttering a word (aside from calling Homer “daddy” in one episode) has found herself a titular character in many of the family’s escapades. With pacifier always nearby, Maggie is capable of so much more than most youngsters her age. Hell, she has already been involved in the attempted murder of Mr. Burns and has also saved her father from the mafia. She even has an arch-enemy: the uni-browed Gerald. Not bad, for an infant.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Baby Aspirin

0.5 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Triple Sec
Splash of Orange Juice
Garnish with a Sour Soother

It’s funny how many classic characters have been thrust into a series where they are babies or kids: Tom and Jerry, Scooby Doo, the Looney Tunes gang, the Jungle Book animals, the Archie teens, the Flintstones, and many others. Well, time to put the little ones off to bed and have some adult time!

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

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