October 5 – Kinky Tease

Posted on October 5, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Fetish Frenzy

There’s some weird stuff going on out there in love land… but weird can be good. Everyone has their own thing that gets their motor running and who am I to judge. That said, here are some of the odd fetishes in this mad, mad world!

Nyotaimori – The Japanese tradition of eating sushi off a naked person platter. Thankfully it is usually done on a woman’s body, because I can just see so many close calls when someone is looking for that tuna or salmon nigiri and grabs the wrong piece.

Oh good, you can do it in couples… I hope Mrs. Sip is as interested in being a sushi tray as I am!

Plushophilia – More commonly known as Furries, these folks get their mojo rising when people dress up as animals, preferably of the stuffed variety. I have to ask, do they then strip out of the outfits to get to each other’s fun bits… or would that just ruin the illusion!?

Cosplay – Ever wanted to get with a superhero or your favourite TV or movie character (even if it’s an animated one)? Here’s your chance you crazy pervert (just kidding – remember, no judging)… and you don’t even have to attend Comic-Con!

Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation – Sadly, you hear more about this fetish when people die from it, than from enjoying it. Actor David Carradine and musician Michael Hutchence are the most notable to die from the act and the entire list is full of dudes, proving women aren’t stupid enough to mix sex and death.

Tentacle Erotica – We travel back to Japan for another crazy adult love aid. Apparently tentacle porn was largely born out of censorship of the penis. So, being the industrious folks they are, the Japanese simply had tentacles penetrate a character and that was okay with everyone.

Spectrophilia – I ain’t ‘fraid of no ghosts… but that doesn’t mean they turn me on either. And how would one go about making love to a ghost? Oh, it can also include arousal to images in mirrors… well, that seems a lot more feasible.

Phalloorchoalgolagnia – Say that three times fast! This is one that will make every dude out there squirm, wince, shudder, and perhaps even feel faint or vomitous. It is taking pleasure from the pain involved in male genital abuse. Pain does equal pleasure for some folks, but not the Sip Advisor. I’m a lover, not a fighter!

Drink #278: Kinky Tease (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

0.75 oz Kinky Liqueur
0.75 oz Pomegranate Liqueur
Garnish with an Orange Wedge

There are so many other perversions out there, but I just can’t tackle them all. I don’t want to get too personal, but what gets you in the mood? If it’s funny and makes me laugh, you’ll hit my trigger!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
This is a near-perfect shot. The Kinky and Pomegranate Liqueurs are so good by themselves, so when you put them together it can go one of two ways: it can absolutely suck or it can be amazingly awesome. Thankfully, this went in the latter direction, giving Mrs. Sip and I a perfect libation for getting down and dirty!

August 30 – Mimosa

Posted on August 30, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Balanced Breakfast

While some cocktails should only be busted out in the evening, other drinks are perfect for morning enjoyment. Keep this post in mind as we begin a beautiful long weekend that provides a number of opportunities for a wonderful morning drink and a great start to the day!

Mimosa

Today’s drink du jour is a favourite of Mrs. Sip and is perfect for getting your buzz on early in the day. I can’t count how many bottles of champagne Mrs. Sip and I went through on our honeymoon cruise after ordering the free OJ that comes with breakfast and then kicking back on our balcony in complimentary robes and watching the sea life that passed by our ship, including turtles, flying fish, and even dolphins.

Caesar

The Caesar has also been deemed a hangover cure, so it has that going for it. This is the perfect ‘hair of the dog’ cocktail, getting booze back into your system while also replenishing the fluids you lost the night before via the Clamato juice. A proper Caesar should also be stuffed with various garnishes, which do wonders when looking for a light morning meal. I suppose Bloody Mary’s work, as well.

Tequila Shot

You have to be careful with this entry, as it doesn’t take too many tequila shots before you’ll be back in bed… but maybe that’s your intention! I’m trying to recollect the earliest I’ve had a tequila shot, but perhaps not surprisingly, failed. That means I probably had more than one and likely was nearing the dozen mark before long.

Margarita

This drink is among my favourite of all-time and it’s even better to start your day with. When Mrs. Sip and I were in Mexico earlier this year at an all-inclusive, I made a regular appointment for margaritas as we enjoyed our first meal. Scotch at night, margaritas in the morning… a harmonious coupling.

Irish Coffee

I’m not a caffeine fiend, but I know these folks do exist (sadly!). If you’re going to drink the crap, you might as well ‘Irish’ it up a little and throw a nice liqueur into the mix for that bonus pick-me-up. If you’re like me and are adverse to java, you can go with a hot chocolate beverage (or even tea I guess) and dessert it up for breaky!

Morning Glory Fizz

This doesn’t even sound like a cocktail… more of a morning delight with your favourite bedmate! This fizzy recipe is bound to wake your senses and boost you straight into your activities for the day. Do you think it’s a faux pas to enjoy this drink at other times? I think glory should be shared at all times… I don’t think he’s talking about cocktails anymore.

Beer

It doesn’t matter what type, as long as it’s cold and ready to rock. I’m still surprised when I get a look of awe as I crack open a breakfast beer camping or anywhere else. Providing I don’t have any driving ahead, why would I wait to start the alcohol ball rolling!?

Drink #242: Mimosa

Splash of Triple Sec or Grand Marnier
Splash of Orange Juice
Top with Champagne
Garnish with an Orange Wedge

So, do tell… what is your favourite morning cocktail? If you’re one of those “I don’t drink until [insert time here]” folks, you need not apply!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
It’s a freakin’ mimosa! You can’t really screw things up with it. The drink is very refreshing and tasty and can be drunk at all hours of the day. They go down easy and aren’t punishing at all. Have a great morning!

August 24 – Warm Fuzzies

Posted on August 24, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Warmth Spreading

There are those certain times in your day which bring the greatest of pleasurable feelings, as a sea of warmth spreads over your body and a sensation of true bliss brings a smile to your face. I call this time sex… na, just kidding. You don’t have to be in the throes of passion to feel all warm and fuzzy. Here are my favourite things that bring about the heat for me:

Waking Up with Time before Your Alarm

I prefer to wake up naturally and hate using an alarm clock. Of course, if you want to avoid consistent unemployment, an alarm clock really comes in handy. It has to be one of the greatest feelings in the world when you wake up, check the time and your alarm isn’t set to go off for a while… the longer the better. Even if all you have left is 10 minutes and you may not be able to get back to dream world, it’s nice to know your blankets and bed will keep you comfortable for just a little longer.

The Smell of Barbecue

I don’t really care what type of meat is on the barbie, so long as it’s filling the atmosphere with its sweet meaty smells. The only time this sucks is when you’re extremely hungry and the scent of cooking food is driving you to a non-desirable mental state. It makes you want to hunt down the barbecue, trespass on property, steal said meat, and break another couple criminal codes, as you also pilfer the place’s liquor collection and side dishes.

Kitties Purring

Cats sometimes seem so nonchalant, as if they don’t have a care in the world. So, when one snuggles up to you for a little rest and begins purring their little head off, then you know you have an unbreakable connection. My little buddy, Furious B, even rewards our family with hunted rodents and birds. That’s just his way of saying: “Thanks for the lap, the nap, the blanket, and the kibble!”

Giving Presents

I love giving gifts to my closest friends and family. I put a lot of time and effort into figuring out the right present and then tracking that item down. Sometimes it can be frustrating, especially since I don’t like shopping and all too often I can’t find what I’m looking for easily, but the reaction you get when that present is finally delivered and opened makes the whole process totally worth it!

Making Drinks

I’m really in my element when I’m mixing drinks for friends and family. I love when I can bring some small amount of enjoyment to them with a delicious cocktail. Receiving rave reviews isn’t rare and even if they’re just being nice, I’ll take it! I like being the one that plays bartender and makes the drinks everyone is talking about. It’s nice to be the center of drinking attention and also gets this introvert out of the all-out party assault when he needs a little breather.

Shared Nostalgia

I love that time in the evening of a drink-a-thon when everyone starts thinking about the awesome things from their childhood or teenage years. Mrs. Sip and I will discuss at length the lessons we learned from Saved by the Bell or how Cousin Sip had such a crush of Kit Cloudkicker from Tail Spin (sorry to out you there, but you probably weren’t alone!). I can remember (fuzzy memories still count) countless hours spent reminiscing about favourite candies, toys, shows, movies, etc. and it really doesn’t get much better to share that with the ones you love!

Drink #236: Warm Fuzzies (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

0.5 oz Sand Berry Liqueur (I used Gutshof Sanddorn Likor)
1 oz Cloudberry Liqueur
Garnish with an Orange Wedge

What are your favourite warm fuzzy moments? If you simply agree with my list and how awesome I am, that will continue the warm fuzzy vibe we got going on here… don’t screw it up!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This delicious shot earned its name thanks to the warm fuzzy feeling it gave my entire body as it worked its way down my throat and into my stomach, providing the same feeling soon after to my head .I created this recipe on a whim when Mrs. Sip suggested we do a shot before going for a walk… she’s such a clever lady! Unfortunately, the liqours were purchased in Germany and Estonia so I realize this shot may be a bit more difficult to re-create if you are on the wrong side of the pond.

August 10 – Zipper

Posted on August 10, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Shopping Spree

While it may be a favourite summer activity for a number of folks out there (even little sippers), it must be shared that the big cheese himself, the Sip Advisor, loathes shopping.

I feel that shopping is akin to a deadly disease. It has infected numerous victims, male and female alike and it’s coming for me next.

I’m one of those types that only goes shopping when I need something and in those cases, I zip through the store like speedy gonzales on crack (could you imagine?), my mission to get in and out of the store as quickly as possible, avoiding infection in every department. I don’t want to explore every single aisle, or “just browse”.

On occasion, Mrs. Sip and I will venture down to the United States for a shopping excursion, but I’m mostly there for potential liquor and mixer finds, food court enjoyment, and grocery shopping. Being forced to join Mrs. Sip in any of the clothing stores she wants to peruse sends me into child-like temper tantrums. Even when she’s shopping for lingerie at Victoria’s Secret, I work diligently to accelerate the process. “Of course those will look good on you, hon.” Psssh, as if I want to be responsible for her being clothed at all.

In the average year, I’m forced to go on one spring shopping trip (at the vile hands of Mrs. Sip). It’s not like I’m cognizant of this plan, but we do so much travelling that inevitably I find myself in a mall and, without even realizing what’s transpiring, I’m trying on multiple clothing items. With my head still spinning, I’m walking out of the store with new jeans, shirts, and in rare cases, animal print underwear.

I try at all costs to avoid adding to my wardrobe, frivolously keeping items that have well run their course of usefulness. Boxers and socks with holes, jeans with small tears, jackets with non-functional zippers, shoes that should not be worn on rainy days, etc. I try to hide these items from Mrs. Sip through deception and sleight of hand, but the illusion is often eventually exposed… I’m just not that good of a magician.

Of course, everything I’ve written here today goes out the window when I’m liquor shopping. In that case, I want to see everything – sometimes multiple times. I want to examine products, price compare, try things on, make sure I get the right size, and don’t mind blowing up my credit card over a splurge.

If people like other forms of shopping, that’s cool. I’m not here to discriminate. Just don’t drag me along with you. We can achieve harmony, folks… one purchase at a time!

Drink #222: Zipper

0.5 oz Tequila
0.5 oz Grand Marnier
0.5 oz Irish Crème
Garnish with Orange Wedge

So, am I right or wrong in my assessment of the shopping phenomena? Mrs. Sip and I have a little wager going on with regards to this, so please take the time to vote in favour of your buddy, your pal, the Sip Advisor!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I liked the taste of this shooter, especially the Grand Marnier orange liqueur. The mix all went down easy and there was no overwhelming or harsh flavour that I worried about coming from the Tequila.

June 7 – Blue Angel

Posted on June 7, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Blue Me Away

If I was forced to choose, I’d have to say that blue is one of my favourite colours. And why not? It’s the colour of my eyes, I look good in clothes of that hue, and some of my preferred things in existence match that shade. Speaking of which, here are some awesome matter that come in blue.

Cookie Monster

Readers should be quite familiar with my affinity for cookies and their patron saint, the Cookie Monster. I wish the Cookie Monster was a real being, who would hang out with me as we debated the facts of life over a plate of cookies and side glass of milk. We’d be the best of buds: me baling him out of jail after a cookie bender; he driving me to the hospital after a bout of alcohol poisoning. Ah, the memories.

Bluegrass Music

I love this music, but I can’t put a finger on exactly why. Perhaps it gets to the core of the southern boy in me, happy to sip moonshine out of a jug, while Earl and Emmitt twang the strings on their banjos. Then we go swimming in the ol’ cement pond, farmer tans proudly exposed to the world as we swing from tires hung from trees. A simple existence, but an amazing one!

Blueberries

While they aren’t my favourite berry, they’re my favourite blue berry! *rimshot* Seriously, though, blueberries are pretty good and they’re full of healthy crap. They are said to lower cholesterol and blood sugar levels, aiding in combating the symptoms of heart disease and even depression. For this, we salute the little blueberry, especially the vodkas and other liqueurs that have been created from its flavouring.

Josh Blue

This comedian burst onto the scene, winning the 2006 edition of reality show Last Comic Standing, and later made recurring appearances on Mind of Mencia, hosted by fellow comic Carlos Mencia. Not only is Blue a top joker, making light of his cerebral palsy, but Blue was also a member of the 2004 US Paralympic Soccer Team.

The Sky

We’ve all been mesmerized by the sky at one point or another in our lives. Looking up and watching white, fluffy clouds float across the blue atmosphere. If not for blue sky, we wouldn’t have picturesque beautiful days to truly appreciate. When we’ve angered that blue sky, it turns grey and drops venomous precipitation upon us. The sky cries and we cry with it.

Blue Man Group

While I’ve never seen their show yet, I wish to one day catch it. With the frequency that Mrs. Sip and I are in Las Vegas, we’re bound to catch a performance eventually. One of the best ongoing gags in Arrested Development was Tobias working as an understudy of the Blue Man Group and constantly getting his blue paint all over the family home.

“I’m afraid I just blue myself!” – Tobias Funke

Blue Jeans

Perhaps my favourite article of clothing ever, jeans, is awesome because everyone can look good in a pair of them. Just find the right size and style and you’ll have more swagger than a college football quarterback. It’s always a sad day when a pair of blue jeans has run its course in the Sip wardrobe. On the plus side, that means a new pair is on the horizon, set for an unfathomable volume of adventures.

Blue Curacao

Of course something from the world of alcohol had to make this list. I like Blue Curacao, perhaps even more so, knowing that Mrs. Sip doesn’t like the spirit. Sometimes I try to slip it into her drinks just to later throw it in her face that she just drank the substance! I could have also mentioned Blue Agave, crucial to the production of tequila, but Blue Curacao factors into today’s drink!

Drink #158: Blue Angel

1 oz Blue Curacao
Top with Champagne
Garnish with Orange Wedge and Raspberry

While there is much to like about the colour blue, there are also some things to hate, that try to sneak into this awesome classification. Bleu cheese, for instance, is downright disgusting. Similarly, the Toronto Blue Jays are among my least favourite sports franchises thanks to the club being crammed down my throat as ‘Canada’s baseball team’. These true blues can burn in red hell, as far as I’m concerned!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
The Blue Curacao does what it can, but I’m still not a fan of champagne-based drinks. If anyone out there has a never fail champagne cocktail recipe, please pass it along, so that I can finally enjoy the bubbly as it was meant to be appreciated.

May 23 – Orange Tundra

Posted on May 23, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Vodka Not-To-Playlist

I was looking forward to doing my monthly playlist based on the alcohol of the week, but that enthusiasm was quickly dashed when I could only dig up a few vodka-related songs. Worse yet, I have an inkling that all these tunes will suck harder than a black hole. Shall we have a listen together, for the first ever, in the long history of music, Not-To-Playlist?

VODKA by Korpilklaani

This Euro metal band also has songs about tequila and beer. I can’t understand a word they’re saying and I think that’s only partly because they’re not speaking English. Well, I do understand one word and that would be “vodka”, which they repeat often. The tune isn’t too bad, all things considered and the accordion addition is an interesting touch. Clearly these guy like to drink and I’m down with that.

The Vodka Song by Seamus Moore

I guess you’d call this a folk song!? I have no clue. Again, the song is okay, but I almost long for the days of songs in languages I couldn’t understand… like the one above. Also, why is an Irish dude singing about vodka. Shouldn’t he be concentrating on the Irish traditions of whiskey and stout beer?

Black Vodka by Ja Rule

Oh good, this is the “album version“… I guess that means that it’s better??? If this is a better version of the song, I hope they destroyed all the copies of any other takes of the track. Wow, this tune goes on for five whole minutes. That’s five whole minutes I’ll never get back. Eh, I probably would have wasted the time anyway watching infomercials or opening junk mail.

Drink #143: Orange Tundra

1.5 oz Vodka (I used Bols)
0.5 oz Kahlua
Top with half Cream Soda and half Orange Juice
Garnish with Orange Wedge

A key note for this cocktail is to not stir any of the ingredients, which results in the awesome look you see above. If anyone out there in Sip Nation can find a GOOD vodka song I wasn’t able to, please pass it along so that future generations will have something to jam to while getting their vodka blitz on!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This drink was a pleasure to the taste buds and eyes. The Orange Tundra features the coming together of a bunch of different flavours – Kahlua, Cream Soda, Orange Juice – that tastes good and looks great. There was a party in my mouth and everyone was invited!

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

Tag Archives: Orange Wedge