November 1 – Day of the Dead Cocktail

Posted on November 1, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Burial Blitz

Halloween may be over, but we still have the Day of the Dead to celebrate. What better way to do so than look at interesting burial rituals from around the world! Here are some of the most bizarre:

Dining In (Papua New Guinea/Brazil)

Practiced by the Melanesians and Wari peoples, the ‘Feast of the Dead’ was used to bolster a lasting relationship between a recently deceased person and their loved ones. With the ingestion of the body, that dead person was also making one last sacrifice for the tribe, helping them get over their grief. Along these lines, the Yanomami will cremate a body first before consuming the ashes with a banana paste. Mmmm, that’s good eating!

Soul Searching (Tibet)

The Buddhist believe that the body is just a capsule for the soul to live. Therefore, when a person dies, the body no longer has any worth and is dismembered and left to be eaten by scavengers. Ground burial isn’t really a possibility in the frigid mountains of the region and so this is apparently the best way to deal with the deceased. Just think of all the condos that could be built if we no longer needed space for cemeteries.

Totem Poled (Pacific Northwest)

The Haida would take the bodies of their most respected citizens and crush it with clubs, making it fit into a box similar in size to a suitcase. It would then be placed upon a totem pole, which was to protect the individual and guide them into afterlife. Apparently this left quite the stench, though, as described by original missionaries to the areas. Bears must have also been a problem, as they searched for that ever-elusive picnic basket!

Hard Knock Life (Northern Europe)

The slave girl of a dead high-ranking Viking would be forced to have sex with every man in the village before being strangled to death and stabbed by a village matriarch. She would then be placed aboard a ship, with her master’s body and the ship would be lit on fire. This was all done to make sure the slave would serve her master in the afterlife and the Viking’s life force would be released through the mass sex (known today as rape).

Apparently you all aren’t good with grieving either!

Cliff Dive (China)

The Bo people buried their dead in caskets on platforms that jut out from the side of cliffs in southwest China’s Gongxian County. Why they did this is a mystery, as the civilization was largely wiped out by the Ming Dynasty centuries ago. Today, they are referred to as the “Sons of the Cliff” or “Subjugators of the Sky”. The cliffs also feature murals showing examples of how the Bo lived, similar to the Egyptians hieroglyphics.

Light My Fire (Bali)

This mass burning of bodies is at least followed by a feast of epic proportions, so at least you always have that to look forward to. The Hindu population of the island bury village members as they pass away in a mass grave. When there are enough bodies (I’m not sure of how many constitutes “enough”) the bodies are unearthed and placed on a float, which is showcased around the village (this ain’t no Disney parade), before being lit on fire in the hub of the settlement.

Immolation Sensation (India)

Today, we comfort a widow in the event their partner dies, but back in the day, it was a whole different story, particularly for women. In India, women were subjected to burn themselves to death during the funeral of their husband, in an act known as Sati. Of course, not all participants were willing. Some believe that the Sati was started to make sure wives wouldn’t poison or otherwise dispose of their husband to marry a lover. I hope Mrs. Sip keeps this in mind!

Drink #305: Day of the Dead Cocktail

1.5 oz Tequila (I used 1800 Reposado)
0.75 oz Grand Marnier
Splash of Orange Juice
Dash of Cinnamon
Garnish with Cinnamon-Dusted Orange Slice

Of course, there are many other burial traditions out there, but I found these to be the most interesting. Can you imagine having to take part in any of these? What burial techniques fascinate you? Until next time…

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This cocktail wasn’t that bad. I like how the Cinnamon dusting kicked in at the end of each sip and added some spice and flavour to the drink. The Grand Marnier was my favourite component of the recipe and I feel the orange-flavoured liqueur works quite well with Tequila.

October 31 – Rigor Mortis

Posted on October 31, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Costume Craziness

Halloween can be a fun time of year. It’s the one day where you can be something you’re not. Good girls can go bad and the living can pretend they’re dead. Even animals can get in on the act! Here are the various costumes I’ve worn over the years:

Little Bear

While I don’t recollect this Halloween experience at age 3, I’ve consulted Ma Sip for details of my first Trick or Treat outing. Dressed as a bear (a nice little image for you furry fans out there), the Sip Advisor cried at the first house he was taken to. Then, upon realizing that a simple knock on the door resulted in candy to be giveth, Ma and Pa Sip couldn’t stop this cuddly, maniac bear from hitting every house in the neighbourhood!

Transformer

When I was a wee little sipper, I was a massive fan of the original Transformers cartoon. Pa Sip created a costume for me, so I could be Optimus Prime. Using a large cardboard box painted red and blue, I looked like the leader of the Autobots. One problem: as I showed off my awesome look at pre-school, the box was too big to allow me to sit down and I had to stand most of the day. Even worse, when I first went to hop out of our old 1984 Suburban, I ended up falling, resulting in a turtle-like stranded situation!

Optimus PINT… it could have been so easy for Pa Sip. Hindsight is 20/20!

Batman

Cue the Christian Bale voice… “I’m Batman!” Along with Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney, and soon-to-be Ben Affleck, I too played the role of Batman. But my Batman was more of the awesome Adam West variety. Broski Sip was my sidekick as Robin and together, we saved Gotham City from injustice, were rewarded with candy, and broke the hearts of those handing out treats at every door.

Dracula/Frankenstein

In following years, I experimented with the classic monster costumes. It was fun being all painted up to look undead. I’m not sure I ever looked very intimidating… probably more cute than anything else (no surprise there!). I think these are perfect costumes for kids, as it lets them dip their toe into the world of scary looks, without getting too spooky. I suppose nowadays zombies would be a huge hit for little ones and that just continues the legacy.

Road Dogg

When professional wrestling was one of the biggest phenomena’s in the late 90’s, most of my friends went as one of the grapplers. I went as ‘Road Dogg’ Jesse James, with Grandma Sip even knitting me a hair piece, attached to a D-Generation X hat, to capture Road Dogg’s dreadlock look. It was a pretty simple costume because other than that, all I needed was to wear track pants and my D-X t-shirt. Some didn’t get it, but those who did absolutely loved the effort.

Clark Kent/Superman

After a number of years off from Halloween, I was dragged back into the costume hunting experience by Mrs. Sip. We were thinking of doing something related to one another and when Mrs. Sip decided upon going as Supergirl, I had no other choice, but to go as Superman, despite my abhorrence of the character. Trying to steer slightly away from being ‘The Man of Steel’ I grabbed a costume that was more Clark Kent, but you could pull open the shirt and jacket to reveal the iconic Superman logo.

Couple’s costumes… what a bunch of boobs!

Dr. Howie Feltersnatch

Now going to adult Halloween parties, I was on the prowl for the perfect costume to stir up a little controversy. I settled on a gynecologist outfit and became Dr. Howie Feltersnatch. Go ahead; take a moment to appreciate the finely crafted moniker. With Sookie Stackhouse (aka Mrs. Sip) by my side – with vicious vampire bite and bottle of True Blood – we made a grand entrance… just like the focus of my medical career!

Lady Febreeze

My most recent Halloween misadventure was at Cousin Sip’s party, where guests were challenged to create their own superhero. Mrs. Sip and I came up with the characters The Boozelar (like the Hamburglar, but taking people’s drinks) and Lady Febreeze. Originally, we planned to take our normal gender roles, but decided to swap for effect. Therefore, I showed up wearing a blonde wig, glittered mask, pink bra, hula skirt, glow sticks, and chased people around all night (especially the sneaky Boozelar), squirting them with a water-filled atomizer!

Drink #304: Rigor Mortis

1.5 oz Cherry Vodka (I used Grey Goose Cherry Noir)
0.75 oz Amaretto
Top with half Orange Juice and half Pineapple Juice
Dash of Grenadine
Garnish with Maraschino Cherry

What are some of your memorable costumes? Happy Halloween everyone and stay safe out there!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This drink was good, but not as great as I hoped it would be. I didn’t get a taste of the Grey Goose Cherry Noir like I usually do in other cocktails, as it was unfortunately buried under all the other ingredients. Still, it was a relatively tasty mix.

October 30 – Corpse Reviver

Posted on October 30, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Clever Costumes

There are some really funny costumes out there. Somehow, I’ve narrowed a limitless number of hilarious coverings down to a few favourites. There folks should be so proud of the honour I’m about to bestow upon them!

Just think about all the action this guy would get in a night, as every girl at the party would want to be the one featured in the Facebook post. Of course, he’d have to hold that sign up most of the time, but the benefits totally outweigh the effort. This is the kind of selfie I can get behind.

Mrs. Sip loves lobster… but maybe not this much! When this kid is old enough to realize what happened to them at such a young age, do you think they’ll want justice. Perhaps they’ll be in therapy thanks to flashbacks of being stuffed in a pot and nightmares of being cooked. Good parenting!

You would have to imagine that these two boys don’t even know what Breaking Bad is, but kudos to them for going along with a costume that is clearly the brainchild of their parents. Both boys nail the look of Jesse and Walter and you hope people handing out candy would appreciate the effort.

Poor puppy doesn’t know that its owners and everyone it walks by is having a laugh at its expense. The payback will come when the dog chews up its owner stuff, slobbers throughout the house and perhaps even leaves a few ‘presents’ for its people to have to clean up. Sweet revenge!

The problem with this costume is that it doesn’t work so well when any member separates from the group. Therefore, you have to choose the group members wisely because you’ll probably be spending the entire night with them or in a nearby proximity to them.

Drink #303: Corpse Reviver

1 oz Cognac (I used Courvoisier)
0.5 oz Apple Rum
0.5 oz Sweet Vermouth
Garnish with Body Part Gummies

If you think there are better costumes out there, let me know. I’m always looking for my next Halloween outfit and have no qualms about ripping someone else off!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
There is also the more popular Corpse Reviver #2 recipe, but I wanted to give the original some air time. Today’s recipe calls for Apple Brandy, but not having any on hand, I resorted to an Apple Rum, which provided some of the required flavour, but lacked the sweetness the Brandy might have offered. That was left for the Sweet Vermouth to provide and it did so to a reasonable degree.

October 29 – Angel of Death

Posted on October 29, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Trick & Treat

Halloween is right around the corner and I’ve been studying up on the event. I want to make sure that every little sipper out there has a wonderful night. So, here is some info and tips on how to make that happen:

Facts about Trick-or-Treat

Drink #302: Angel of Death

1 oz Cupcake Vodka
1 oz Fluffed Marshmallow Vodka
Top with Milk
Garnish with Chocolate Shavings

I hope everyone has their candy purchased, costumes picked, and pumpkins carved. Have an amazing evening, y’all!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This drink was a decent dessert option and the Chocolate Shavings were an enjoyable touch on top of the cocktail. Like the name suggests, the recipe seems angelic, but it can kill, too!

October 28 – Witch’s Brew

Posted on October 28, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Happy Hunting

Drawing from my years of experience as a world renowned candy hunter, I’ve come up with some great tips for all the little sippers out there that are looking forward to a wicked Halloween haul. Some of these tricks and tip may not be of the highest moral value, but they’ll fill your pillowcases quicker than a pillow (just made that up… probably needs a little tinkering)!

Tip #1: Candy Clusters

The best way to maximize your Trick or Treat time is to find areas where there are numerous doors to knock on in a tight space. Apartment and town house complexes or even neighbourhoods where houses don’t have much yard space between lots are perfect to rack up the goodies without tuckering yourself out too much.

Tip #2: Return Trips

If a house is giving out something really awesome (full-sized bars, bags with multiple candies, etc.), there is nothing wrong with returning to that residence later in the evening. Don’t pester the poor people with repeated visits, but perhaps hit the place again on a second go-round of the neighbourhood.

Tip #3: No Pack Mentality

While you want to be with your friends and share this wonderful experience, don’t get bogged down by being in too big of a group. Let’s be honest, only a few of the people you’re usually with are actually your friends. Stick to smaller groups which makes it easier to travel and get your treat at each house before moving onto the next stop.

Tip #4: Courtesy Counts

Be very thankful and energetic at each stop. You never know if your costume, behaviour or other intangible might earn you a bonus piece of candy. Also, if you drop by the home of someone you know, make sure to acknowledge them, as your relationship to them or their kin may benefit your treat haul.

Tip #5: Split Shift

It won’t be too long before you’re running out of room in your bag and are tired of lugging the heavy sack around. There’s no shame in planning a route that lets you stop off at home, dump out your candy, and hit the road again for round two. Or, if with friends, make sure one of your homes is along the route for a recharging point.

Tip #6: Home Collection

Each time you go in and out of your own house, make sure to grab a treat for yourself (and one for your imaginary friend!), courtesy of your own parents. The leftover will largely be yours anyway, so you’re just getting ahead of the game.

Tip #7: Longevity Wins

Make sure you’re up for a full night of candy hunting. At the end of the evening, some folks might be giving out more than the usual one piece in order to get through their stock and be able to shut their lights off. This is when you pounce and take advantage of the fact that you have better cardio and durability than all the others. Your training has paid off!

Drink #301: Witch’s Brew

1.5 oz Raspberry Vodka (I used Absolut)
Top with half Tonic Water and half Cranberry Juice
Splash of Blue Raspberry Mixer
Garnish with Berries

Anyone else out there have any suggestions for the wee little sippers who will be hitting the streets in just a few days’ time? Feel free to pass them along.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I was pleasantly surprised by this cocktail. While I’m not a big Tonic Water fan, it didn’t detract from this drink, perhaps because I covered it with the Berry garnishes and the Blue Raspberry Mixer. This is one case where I wish I had access to liquid nitrogen to create a fog effect.

October 27 – Dracula’s Kiss

Posted on October 27, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Long and Winding Road

Well, my little sippers, here we sit, at the precipice to 300 drinks. It is a time of remembrance, of celebration, of extreme joy! I’m so happy to share these moments with you. Let’s do a quick group hug and get on with the awards!

Most Difficult Drink

I’m not sure all you little sippers know how hard I work in my pursuit of perfection for this site. And that’s not to say you should know, or even care. All I’m stating is that the effort I put into this site rivals and often surpasses my quality of work at my real job. I love you folks that much!

Nominees: Wicked Witch of the East (tracking down of garnish and layering issues); Roasted Mellow (had to hollow out marshmallow, which couldn’t always hold the liquor long enough); Jell-O Shot (they were fun to make once I had a process down, but took a fair bit of time)

Winner: Wicked Witch of the East – First, I delayed this drink multiple times because I couldn’t track down a suitable broomstick garnish to be used as a stir stick. Then, I went ahead and made one myself and I am not an arts and crafts buff. We’re not even getting into how the layering effect didn’t work because the broomstick was frustrating enough!

Best Site Searches

It will be hard to top the last two victors: “how do I get a blow job at new york new york las vegas” and “how to use trollop in a sentence”, but I’m sure there are some game applicants out there. Sometimes I’m baffled that certain searches have led readers to this site… like these gems!

Nominees: puppies farting green air; is adrenalin responsible for making a body fly in the air when electrocuted; jimmy snuka porno; sensual woman stripper in ms santa claus costume; how to complain about a sip advisor

Winner: “how to complain about a sip advisor” – What have I done to offend this little sipper? Is there a process for complaining about me? Which board would complaints about my work (few as they may be) be delivered to? So many unanswered questions, but you can bet this member of Sip Nation will have their membership revoked.

Best Garnish

The garnish game is something I enjoy, but also find vexing at times. When I don’t have the ingredients I want/need or they aren’t behaving how I’d like them to, it can be tough. Somehow, we get the job done, night in and night out. I hope you all appreciate the results.

Nominees: Skittles, Toasted Marshmallow, Fish Candies

Winner: Fish Candies (used on Water of Life) – Thanks to Ma Sip for letting me borrow some of the fish candies she always has out for guests during the summer pool months. The trick to getting them to cooperate with this drink was to alternate between layers of ice and then a couple fish, so as to make it look like the candies were swimming.

Top Shot

I love our Super Saturday Shot Day page; a place where I can assemble the best shooters from around the world. Check it out sometime for some recipes that will turn your drinking night upside down!

Nominees: Kinky Tease, Rainbow Cookie, Bazooka Joe

Winner: Kinky Tease – I mean, come on, of course I’m going to give the nod to a shot I invented myself! I did what any good barkeep would, put together two liqueurs (Kinky and Pomegranate) that taste good on their own and figured they’d be even better united. Mission accomplished!

Best Photo

I’ve taken over the reins of photo taking and editing at the Sip Advisor headquarters, pushing Mrs. Sip out of her positions with the company. While we thank Mrs. Sip for her service in those areas, there were simply other positions I preferred to put her in… if you catch my drift! Check out our Drink Menu for complete photo listings!

Nominees: Drunk Monkey, Happy Birthday-Tini, Campfire Martini

Winner: Happy Birthday-Tini – There wasn’t a clear-cut favourite this time around, as there had been for our 200th drink awards. That said, I love how the sprinkles highlighted this delicious drink. The whole package really made my birthday cocktail a perfect celebratory piece!

Best Drink

As usual, we finish the evening with our top award, Best Drink. Previous winners have included the PAMA-Jama and Raspberry Mojito. Like the Oscars, we have expanded our nominees for this award so they can all claim that they were Sippy-nominated!

Nominees: Happy Birthday-Tini, Village Idiot, Wonderful Night, Old Fashioned, Undercover Squirrel

Winner: Wonderful Night – I had to go with this cocktail because of how all the ingredients (there’s six of them) came together to surprise the pallet with notes of everything from peppermint to vanilla to citrus. Each sip was a new adventure!

Drink #300: Dracula’s Kiss

Rim glass with Grenadine
1.5 oz Cherry Vodka (I used Grey Goose Cherry Noir)
Top with Cola
Splash of Grenadine
Garnish with Garlic Clove

This may very well be the last awards ceremony of this project, but fear not, my little sippers, I have big plans in store for 2014 and beyond!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I’ve wanted to try the Grey Goose Cherry Noir Vodka with Cola for some time and this was finally my chance. They work pretty well together. I thought the Garlic garnish was a clever little touch! My only disappointment with the drink was how the Grenadine Rim looked good in actuality, but didn’t really translate to photo form.

October 25 – Candy Corn

Posted on October 25, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Rest in Peace

Most people aren’t very comfortable going through cemeteries and you can count the Sip Advisor as one of those folk. That said, there are some really beautiful and unique graveyards out there. Here are some from the around the world, that have to be seen to be believed:

Merry Cemetery – Sapanta, Romania

Each person’s tombstone is marked with art that depicts that person or a memorable scene from their life, with the images joined by poetry to tell the story of the piece. Elements of humour are often found in the prose, as the local culture believes that death is a moment of joy with a better life to come. The Merry Cemetery has become a national tourist attraction.

Cementerio General – Santiago, Chile

Over two millions people have been interred at the Cementerio General. Every day people neighbour the plot space taken up by former presidents and other nobles of the country. The largest cemetery in South America features tombs piled on top of each other in rows that seem to stretch forever. This final resting place is decorated extensively with flowers and other mementos.

Père-Lachaise – Paris, France

Home to the remains of musician Jim Morrison (which causes rock music to often bellow through the cemetery) and writer Oscar Wilde (fans leave lipstick kisses on his tomb), among others, Père-Lachaise features numerous statues and winding streets lined with crypts. Joggers even use the sight for their daily exercise routine.

Forest Lawn – Los Angeles, California

Resting place for some of the world’s greatest stars, this site is located on the Hollywood Hills and overlooks some of the city’s studios below. Before it was home to famous corpses, it was the setting for D.W. Griffith’s climactic battle scenes in ‘The Birth of a Nation’. The place has been described as a “theme-park necropolis” thanks to all the dignitaries laid to rest there.

Waverley Cemetery – Sydney, Australia

Overlooking the Pacific Ocean, this cemetery has a wonderful view for those visiting or even interred at the site. The graves of many of the folks who shaped the country of Australia are located in Waverley Cemetery, as well as over 200 sites for casualties of war.

Lone Fir Cemetery – Portland, Oregon

This cemetery allows families to plant trees and flowers near the burial spots of their loved ones, causing Lone Fir to become a community garden of sorts as a result. Many of the Chinese immigrants who helped build the city of Portland are interred here. The Pioneer Rose Garden is also part of the property.

Haunted Mansion – Disney Parks

It’s always a treat to go through the cemetery area of the Haunted Mansion queues and read the clever passages on the tombstones. These markers are more than just entertainment for guests, though. They honour some of the notable members of the Disney organization. For example, Leota Tombs has a plot here. She was the inspiration for Madame Leota on the ride.

Drink #298: Candy Corn

Rim glass with Crushed Candy Corn
1.5 oz Cupcake Vodka
0.5 oz Amaretto
Top with half Orange Juice and half Milk
Splash of Club Soda

Perhaps after researching all these interesting graveyards, I won’t feel so apprehensive anymore while visiting or even seeing a cemetery… or perhaps everything will remain unchanged!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Setting up the Candy Corn rim on this drink was a complete pain in the ass, as pieces kept on disintegrating and not behaving as I had hoped. That said, the cocktail actually tastes like Candy Corn… and I should know. I stupidly ate every single piece that fell apart, so now I’m an expert on what that particular treat tastes like. If I ever see a piece of Candy Corn again, it will be too soon!

October 24 – Nerds

Posted on October 24, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Terrible Treats

There’s not a lot of candy out there that isn’t good, but some items draw some serious ire for the Sip Advisor. Here’s what tops the unwanted list:

Black Jelly Beans/Jube Jubes

I’ve grown to accept both of these evil devices, as my tastes have expanded, but there’s a reason why in a bowl of jelly beans or jube jubes, the black ones are the last to be finished, often with a clump of them remaining and some brave soul being dared to rid them from the world. And no, I’m not a racist, except towards those damn purple people, but that’s another story for another day.

Jelly Bellies

You just never know what you’re going to get with the mixed jelly bean flavours and that mystery can really stress a fella out. BeanBoozled packs even capitalize on this confusion with identically coloured candies on opposite ends of the taste spectrum. Some doppelgangers include Coconut or Baby Wipes, Tutti-Fruitti or Stinky Sock, Caramel Corn or Moldy Cheese, and Juicy Pear or Booger. I do have to give the company credit for their Cocktail Classics line, featuring Mojito, Bellini, Margarita, Pina Colada, Cosmo, and Daiquiri flavours!

Jawbreakers

The favourite candy of dentists everywhere! I’m always worried when eating a jawbreaker that I’m going to wreck my teeth. I’m just not patient enough to let the hard candy become soft, which is probably why I enjoy chewy Gobstoppers for their light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel ability. I remember having one of those massive giant jawbreakers when I was really young and having to smash it on the floor to make a piece small enough to fit in my mouth… then it was basically a choking hazard. Ah, the wonders of childhood!

Peeps

I’ve never really been a huge fan of marshmallow based candies and cookies. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’d rather have a cream filling! Are you done giggling? How about now? Seriously, I’m just not that into marshmallows. Perhaps roasting them over the fire and exacting revenge on them via flames is the closest I can say I come to enjoying marshmallows. I do make concessions for marshmallows as part of baking, such as Rice Krispy Squares or Ma Sip’s famous delicacies.

Push Pops

The thing I hated about these candies is that your spit would end up all over your finger and hand as it came through the device holding it. I thought we were supposed to teach kids not to suck on their fingers and grow the eff up! There seems to be some sort of disconnect between the two ideas there. Similarly horrible were Ring Pops, although I do look fabulous in designer candy jewelry!

Milk Duds

Junior Caramels are much better, but when Mrs. Sip can’t locate any for her movie popcorn, she’ll grab Milk Duds, which can be very hard to chew and you normally end up choking on the piece as you try to swallow. We’ve also taken a shine recently to the Caramilk or Rolo bites that were released not that long ago. Basically, as long as the chocolate and caramel is soft, we’re pretty happy. Once Mrs. Sip dumps them into her popcorn, though, I no longer partake.

Drink #297: Nerds

1 oz Melon Liqueur
1 oz Blue Curacao
Top with Lemonade
Garnish with Nerds

Which candies do you deplore? We should have a candy burning festival and as all the awful items burn in hell, we should rejoice in the purity of our favourite treats and stuff ourselves full of glorious vices!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
I certainly wouldn`t associate Nerds or this cocktail with the ‘Terrible Treats’ moniker. I tried to put the Nerds on the rim of the glass, but they were too heavy to stay in place. To compensate, I just poured them on top of the cocktail and I think that worked well enough. The drink didn’t blow my mind and left me a little disappointed. Not to mention that I think all these candy drinks are slowly giving me diabetes!

October 23 – Skittles

Posted on October 23, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

It’s Good to be Bad

There are some horrific villains out there in movie land; characters that keep fans thirsting for sequel after sequel. Here are some of the best in the business!

Freddy Krueger – A Nightmare on Elm Street

I have to admit that after I watched the original A Nightmare on Elm Street for the very first time as a little sipper, I didn’t want to go to sleep that night. The thought of a monster like Freddy Krueger being able to attack a person in their dreams was a novel idea. With his signature bladed claw, I’d love to see a showdown between Freddy and Wolverine from X-Men. Both are virtually invincible and rely on slashing weapons. It would be one hell of a bloody battle.

Leatherface – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

With a mask made of human skin, a bloody butcher’s smock, and an ear-shattering chainsaw in his hand, Leatherface is certainly one of the most imposing baddies in film history. The Leatherface character and costume was adopted by professional wrestling, mostly in Japan. I have seen Leatherface the wrestler live and it’s quite the sight to see a big hulking guy chase audience members around with a revving chainsaw (no blade, of course).

Jigsaw – Saw

I enjoy playing games, but I don’t think I’d ever want to cozy up to Jigsaw with a Monopoly board or Yahtzee Dice. I’d probably end up in one of his horrific traps, being challenged to justify my wasted existence as the Sip Advisor (I don’t think it’s a wasted existence, but John Kramer – the man behind Jigsaw – would probably think so). Billy, the creepy doll Jigsaw uses to deliver messages to his victims is as deranged and disturbing as dolls come. He would not fit in with The Muppets.

Ghostface – Scream

Although Ghostface has been parodied in the Scary Movie franchise, it’s still a pretty haunting character when you go back and watch any of the Scream films. The franchise has been brilliant with its story of a town of teens being terrorized by a spook that kills silently, but taunts its victims with phone calls prior to their death. The design of the mask is based on the famous painting ‘The Scream’ by Edvard Munch and was a legit Halloween costume before the films were made.

Hannibal Lecter – Silence of the Lambs

More of a cerebral monster here, but Hannibal Lecter also has a vicious side. Anthony Hopkins is synonymous with the character, his portrayal winning the star a Best Actor Oscar in 1991, but did you know Lecter was played by someone before Hopkins? Brian Cox played Lecter (or Lektor as the character’s name was changed to for copyright reasons) in the 1986 film Manhunter. John Lithgow also auditioned for that role and given his work as a serial killer on Dexter, he would have been great here, as well.

Pennywise – It

I’m not much of a fan of clowns to begin with, but after watching the It TV mini-movie, I’ll never look at those folks the same again. Pennywise, in clown form, has to be one of the most disturbing villains Stephen King has ever dreamed up… even without the sharp teeth and claws. I have to say that the TV mini-movie is really good for the first half, but totally falls apart in the latter half. Watch with caution or wait for the rumoured re-adaptation to finally come to fruition.

Michael Myers – Halloween

Committed to an asylum as a youngster after murdering his older sister, Michael Myers escapes and wreaks havoc on the Halloween season, tormenting his victims and racking up kills. Myers emotionless face is a frightening image to behold and would certainly stimulate nightmares. Perhaps even more scary is the fact Myers has lived through so many sequels that he seems unstoppable. Happy endings be damned!

Jason Voorhees – Friday the 13^th

Hockey can be violet enough, but when you put a mask on a killer seeking revenge and arm him with a machete, you’re certainly asking for trouble. Thanks to staff negligence, Jason Voorhees drowned as a boy at Camp Crystal Lake and returns to the site of his tragic end to mass murder camp counselors and others engaging in immoral behaviour. I won’t spoil the ending of the original movie, but Jason isn’t even the killer until the second film in the franchise.

Drink #296: Skittles

1 oz Kinky Liqueur
0.5 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Blue Curacao
Top with half Orange Juice and half Lemonade
Garnish with Skittles

Who’s your favourite horror movie baddie? Have I grossly neglected a villain on this list? I guess they’ll be hunting me down now!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I always have a desire to “taste the rainbow” and while this cocktail was good to start with and looked fantastic, its score was bumped up even higher when the Skittles garnishes melted a little bit in the drink and gave it an extra boost of candy flavour. It was also fun to eat the little treats as you drank your way through the recipe.

October 21 – Gummy Worm

Posted on October 21, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Macabre Memes

There are some hilarious Halloween memes out there and I’ve taken the painstaking task, upon myself, to collect these gems for all you little sippers. Grab your favourite bevvy and enjoy some laughs on my behalf!

What a cardinal idea! Imagine all the times you’d hear, “And I would have gotten away with it all, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids!” Now you just have to decide which member of the Scooby Gang to go as. Fred’s ascot creates too many questions, as does Shaggy’s drug addiction. I guess this one goes to the dogs!

A brilliant theory which makes me want to track down the JW’s that disturb me on lazy weekend afternoons and repeatedly knock on their doors… until they give me some damn candy, of course. And when those treats never come to fruition, you continue to knock and piss them off until they realize what they have been doing for years is just as annoying.

I’m not sure why they settled on 1983, but given that was the year I was born, I can only assume I was the one who originally came up with this amazing concept! Halloween is a prevert’s dream and thanks to all the women who dress however they damn well like (women’s lib!!!), dudes are treated to a visual feast of epic proportions. Smile on, my brothers!

I’m learning so much with my research for this post. You could probably put together a couple months worth of TP supply if you just pissed off a few teenagers and let them trash your place. Unfortunately, if those teens chose to go the egging route, you’d have a more difficult time of multi-purposing their prank, unless you had a number of skillets available and could quickly gather up the yolky goop.

Don’t worry little kitty, we’re almost through the season of ghouls and ghosts… although, that’s not what really sets off our pets, it’s the constant doorbell ringing of Trick-or-Treating kids and the setting off of fireworks and firecrackers. My familiy’s little ones do not enjoy Halloween night. Hopefully they find a good hiding spot to rest through the evening of torture.

Drink #294: Gummy Worm

1 oz Cointreau
1 oz Raspberry Vodka
Splash of Blue Curacao
Top with Lemon-Lime Soda
Garnish with Gummy Worms

I hope you enjoyed these laughs and if you see anything you want to send my way to return the favour, by all means, go right ahead!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
I subbed in Cointreau because I didn’t have the Mango Vodka the original recipe called for and that may have detracted from the drink. The cocktail did taste sort of like a Gummy Worm and the garnishes went over quite well.

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

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