Germany – Widow Maker

Just Too Sweet

In one episode of The Simpsons, Homer learns that Germany is the ‘Land of Chocolate’ and that is entirely true. In fact, Germany is home to a number of wonderful treats, even venturing beyond the world of rich, creamy goodness. Here are some of the notable items Germany is able to bring to the international potluck!

Ritter Sport

Who couldn’t fall in love with these little chocolate bars, which are divided into 16 bite-size pieces, making it easy to eat as little or as much as you desire. Although the company was founded in 1912, the famous chocolate bars for which the brand is most associated didn’t debut until 1932. The Sip Advisor’s favourite Ritter Sport choices, include Knusperkeks (milk chocolate with biscuit) and Knusperflakes (milk chocolate with cornflakes), clearly showing that mixing chocolate with a crunch is a preference. The company even has a museum dedicated to squares and everything they entail.

Ritter-Sport Truck

Haribo

Based out of Bonn, Germany, Haribo is not only a great gummy candy company, but they are the originators of the concept, creating the world’s first gummy bear in 1922. They have since dramatically expanded their lineup to include cola bottles, jelly beans, wine gums, sour cherries, and so much more, including numerous products you just can’t find outside of Europe. While I’m not the biggest fan of gummy candies, I do enjoy them from time to time and in small doses. Their slogan rings true: “Haribo makes children happy – and adults as well!”

Kinder

Although Kinder products originated with Italian company Ferrero, the brand name is German (meaning children), the chocolate is huge across Germany, and Kinder Schokolade  is kind of its own entity in the country… all that adds up to being good enough for the Sip Advisor. Mrs. Sip and I still pick up Kinder Surprise eggs from time to time, depending on what the toy inside might be. We’ve grabbed eggs that contained Disney characters – I was hoping for a Scrooge McDuck – and other lines, just for the thrill of opening that little plastic egg. The chocolate is alright, too!

Trolli

While Haribo introduced gummy bears to the world, Trolli made their own mark, unleashing gummy worms into the hands of curious children on the 60th anniversary of the gummy bear. Today, the company pushes 150,000 tons of gummies out of their factories around the world, including four in Germany alone. Trolli has been involved in one controversy that I actually find quite funny. In 2004, they released a line of Road Kill gummies, featuring chickens, squirrels, and snakes with tire tracks embedded on them. Animal rights groups squashed the candy, which seems like overkill… get it!?

trolli-weirdly-awesome

Marzipan

While marzipan is enjoyed across the globe, it is in Germany (particularly the city of Lübeck, whose marzipan is geographically protected by the European Union) where you can find entire stores dedicated to the almond meal confection. Ma Sip figures I’m a good German boy because I enjoy marzipan. That said, I did overindulge one Christmas as a teenager and ate an entire bar of marzipan in short order. Now I limit myself to small servings, spread over a few days and really only around the holiday season. When the Sip Advisor was last in Germany, I also made sure to pick up a bottle of marzipan liqueur for future cocktails!

Black Forest Cake

What foray into Germany’s famous confectionary treats would be complete without a slice of Black Forest Cake. The Sip Advisor is a huge fan of this dessert… we’re talking cake mush all over my face, grinning ear-to-ear into Black Forest Cake! There’s just something about the mix of chocolate, whipped cream, and cherries that works so well and turns this Cookie Monster into a cake lover for brief periods of time. Enjoying a cut while actually travelling through Bavaria should be on every traveler’s bucket list… get on it, my little sippers!

Germany: Widow Maker

Widow Maker Martini

  • 1 oz Jagermeister
  • 1 oz Vodka
  • 1 oz Kahlua
  • Dash of Grenadine
  • Garnish with a Maraschino Cherry

Germany is also home a number of famous car companies, from Porsche to BMW to Volkswagen and everything in between. I could have talked about that, but soothing my sweet tooth is so much more pleasurable!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I garnished the drink with a Maraschino Cherry as an homage to the Black Forest Cake. I had a hell of a time finding Maraschino Cherries that had stems with them, as they look so much better in cocktails over stemless Maraschino Cherries. The most interesting part of this martini is how the Jagermeister and Kahlua go so well together. A very tasty cocktail that’s not too strong, at all.

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October 21 – Gummy Worm

Macabre Memes

There are some hilarious Halloween memes out there and I’ve taken the painstaking task, upon myself, to collect these gems for all you little sippers. Grab your favourite bevvy and enjoy some laughs on my behalf!

Scooby-doo-Halloween-masks

What a cardinal idea! Imagine all the times you’d hear, “And I would have gotten away with it all, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids!” Now you just have to decide which member of the Scooby Gang to go as. Fred’s ascot creates too many questions, as does Shaggy’s drug addiction. I guess this one goes to the dogs!

halloween-Jehovah's Witnesses

A brilliant theory which makes me want to track down the JW’s that disturb me on lazy weekend afternoons and repeatedly knock on their doors… until they give me some damn candy, of course. And when those treats never come to fruition, you continue to knock and piss them off until they realize what they have been doing for years is just as annoying.

Halloween-sexy-costumes-girls

I’m not sure why they settled on 1983, but given that was the year I was born, I can only assume I was the one who originally came up with this amazing concept! Halloween is a prevert’s dream and thanks to all the women who dress however they damn well like (women’s lib!!!), dudes are treated to a visual feast of epic proportions. Smile on, my brothers!

halloween-toilet paper

I’m learning so much with my research for this post. You could probably put together a couple months worth of TP supply if you just pissed off a few teenagers and let them trash your place. Unfortunately, if those teens chose to go the egging route, you’d have a more difficult time of multi-purposing their prank, unless you had a number of skillets available and could quickly gather up the yolky goop.

Scaredy Cat

Don’t worry little kitty, we’re almost through the season of ghouls and ghosts… although, that’s not what really sets off our pets, it’s the constant doorbell ringing of Trick-or-Treating kids and the setting off of fireworks and firecrackers. My familiy’s little ones do not enjoy Halloween night. Hopefully they find a good hiding spot to rest through the evening of torture.

Drink #294: Gummy Worm

Gummy Worm Drink Recipe

  • 1 oz Cointreau
  • 1 oz Raspberry Vodka
  • Splash of Blue Curacao
  • Top with Lemon-Lime Soda
  • Garnish with Gummy Worms

I hope you enjoyed these laughs and if you see anything you want to send my way to return the favour, by all means, go right ahead!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
I subbed in Cointreau because I didn’t have the Mango Vodka the original recipe called for and that may have detracted from the drink. The cocktail did taste sort of like a Gummy Worm and the garnishes went over quite well.