July 31 – Bronx

Posted on July 31, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Bronx Bombers

Alright, no time for chit-chat. We have a busy couple days as we tour New York City. So, throw on your iPod, kick start your Jay-Z playlist, and let’s run this town tonight!

Go to the Empire State Building

I’ve heard mixed reviews about this landmark, with most complaining that the multiple line-ups you have to stand in to get to the top are poorly planned, frustrating, and not worth it. Still, you may only be there once, so you might as well do all the tourist traps. Make sure to toss a penny from the top. It’s good luck, as long as you’re not down below!

king-kong-hugs-the-empire-state-building

Even King Kong loves the Empire State Building!

Watch a Yankees Game

While the team has moved into a new facility and I’ve missed a chance to see old Yankee Stadium, it would be a top priority to catch one of North America’s most storied franchises play. Of course, if you go as a Red Sox fan, you can also cross off your list “being yelled at by a New Yorker” and possibly “being beaten up by a New Yorker”!

See a Broadway Musical

Trivia: Which production revived New York’s Broadway scene in the 1990’s? Answer: The Lion King. Broadway is a street of dreams, where careers can be born, resurrected, and crushed. While I’m not sure which show I’d check out, it would be a must-do attraction, especially given Mrs. Sip’s penchant for the performing arts.

Get Stuck in Traffic

A movie set in New York always features a chaotic traffic scene, showing lines of cars backed-up for miles. We’ve all been in traffic jams in our hometowns, but New York is surely a different animal. If you don’t want to get into a cab, at least try crossing a multi-lane street, weaving through idle cars, with horns blaring and driver’s swearing.

Enjoy Rockefeller Center

If you visit in the winter, you have to take in the skating rink and perhaps giant Christmas tree (if it’s up). Within the area, the Rainbow Room is said to provide one of the best views of the city and even better, you get to drink while taking it all in… take that, Empire State Building!

Eat Street Meat

I’m not sure if New York gave birth to the food cart movement, but it definitely embraced the ideals of getting your meal on the go. It seems you can get nearly every food known to man around the city, but I’d stick to traditional fare, such as pizza and hot dogs. If you have a sensitive stomach, just be cautious while doing so!

Visit the NHL Head Office

As a long-time hockey fan (since I was a wee little sipper with my sippy cup), it would be great to go to the NHL offices… and yell at commissioner Gary Bettman, if only on behalf of Pa Sip! Perhaps they’d offer me a job or at least let me suspend a player or two. As long as I’m not presiding over another lockout, all will be well.

Reflect at the World Trade Center Site

I’ve been told that the memorial built on the site of the World Trade Center is quite remarkable, with its reflecting pools, waterfalls, and landscaping. While I have no personal ties to the tragedy, a visit would still provide a chance to think of the humanity shown through all the people that risked their lives to save others and how people can truly come together in the face of grief for a common good.

Throw Some Money Down on Wall Street

I don’t take many risks in life – unless they involve jumping off of high surfaces – but it would be neat to buy and sell some stock… that is, until you realized that your miniscule life savings were gone. Perhaps I’ll just go there when I’m taking this juggernaut of a site public. Buy in now and reap the rewards that are surely to come when we all cash out!

Drink #212: Bronx

1.5 oz Gin (I used Tanqueray)
0.75 Sweet Vermouth
0.5 Dry Vermouth
Top with Orange Juice
Garnish with Orange Wheel

Join us tomorrow for more New York City sights, sounds and attractions. Perhaps, by then, we’ll be out of this traffic jam and onto our next destination!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
While I’m not much of a fan of cocktails with Orange Juice, this one wasn’t that bad. Gin and the Vermouths team up in their usual complimentary style and with the OJ, it’s a decent drink all around.

July 30 – Maple Donut

Posted on July 30, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Mmmm, Donuts!

One of The Sip Advisor’s favourite snack treats is the donut, despite the rarity in which I actually indulge in having one (after all, I can’t look as good as I do without a little effort in self-discipline!). Let’s take a little look at some of the more interesting bits and bites I was able to dig up on such a treasured subject!

The donut is the favourite food of Homer Simpson and he isn’t alone. It’s estimated that 10 billion donuts are made annually in the U.S. and the average American will eat 63 of these snacks each year.

National Donut Day occurs on the first Friday of every June and celebrates volunteers with the Salvation Army providing World War I veterans with the treat nearly a century ago. Sadly, Canada doesn’t recognize this holiday, but donut chains like Krispy Kreme, which have expanded into the country, extend the same free donut offer they do in the U.S. to their Canadian customers.

The glazed donut is by far the world’s most popular selection and only contains 200 calories on average. Other more “health conscious” breakfast items such as bagels or croissants will rack you up much more than that in calory content.

According to WhitePages.com, 10 people in the United States have the name Donut or Doughnut. I’m not sure if this is a hippy thing or just a snack treat loving thing.

At the 1933 World’s Fair in Chicago, the donut was lauded as the “Hit Food of the Century of Progress”… that’s some serious street cred!

The art of dunking a donut into coffee was popularized by Clark Gable in the movie It Happened One Night. Legend persists though, that actress Mae Murray was the first to ever try this combination when she accidentally dropped her snack into a cup of java.

Voodoo Doughnut in Oregon has become world famous for their unique recipes and eclectic business operations. It even performs marriage ceremonies, providing donuts and coffee for the reception. Some of Voodoo’s fascinating recipes include the Captain My Captain, featuring Captain Crunch cereal on top of vanilla frosting and the Bacon-Maple Bar, with strips of crispy bacon. It also experiments with other cereals, such as Froot Loops and Cocoa Puffs, and many of Voodoo’s doughnuts have a sexual or occult overtone. The company used to offer NyQuil Glazed and Vanilla Pepto Crushed Tums doughnuts, but local health officials kyboshed those varieties.

Tim Horton’s, Canada’s largest contribution to the coffee and donut game, was founded by a former NHL player of the same name. Sadly, while he enjoyed some success with the business, he never saw the company grow into what it has become, dying after a high-speed police chase. His blood alcohol level was twice the legal limit at the time of his death. It may be a little ironic that Tim Horton’s has an annual Roll-Up the Rim to Win prize campaign, when its founder died rolling his sports car. On a positive note, despite Horton’s widow selling the family’s shares in the company for $1 million to Horton’s business partner and co-founder, Ron Joyce, Joyce’s son and Horton’s daughter later got married, bringing the Horton family back into the ownership fold.

Speaking of donut shops, I’m proud to say that Canada has more outlets per capita than any other country in the world. That’s some impressive stuff from my countrymen! Sadly, we can’t claim to have created the largest donut ever, as that unsurprisingly goes to the U.S. with a jelly donut weighting 1.7 tons.

There is much debate over doughnut vs. donut. I prefer donut and will only use the other form if that is the actual name of a company… enough of this arguing though, it’s time for some pastry snacking of the solid and liquid variety!

Drink #211: Maple Donut (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

Rim glass with Sugar
1.5 oz Glazed Donut Liqueur
1.5 oz Crown Royal Maple Whiskey

Do you have any donut trivia to pass along to me? I’ll just be sitting here downing a Long John or two and sipping away at this terrific martini. But don’t worry about disturbing me… it was bound to happen sooner or later!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
On a whim, I put together this little recipe and it was a hit with the entire Sip Alliance. My only regret is that I didn’t have a donut or Timbit (Canadian donut hole) around to garnish the cocktail with. Oh well, will have to remember this slip up in the future.

July 29 – Bloody Roadrunner

Posted on July 29, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Crime & Punishment

Throughout history, we have been introduced to many evil characters (real and fictional). Some of these folks have paid greatly for their misdeeds, but some have not received their comeuppance. Here are a few most people would like to see get theirs:

The Roadrunner – Looney Tunes

This drink’s namesake has always gotten the best of Wile E. Coyote, which saddens me because I’m a staunch supporter of the coyote. Granted, it’s funny to see the poor guy constantly falling off cliffs and having massive desert rocks crush him, but I know we’d all love to see The Roadrunner get caught and turned into Roadrunner Stew. Beep, beep that you little bastard!

Tweety Bird – Looney Tunes

Similar to The Roadrunner, Tweety Bird is the bane of Sylvester the Cat’s existence. Poor Sylvester just can’t seem to catch that bird and the end result is another smattering of Band-Aids to heal all of Sylvester’s wounds. My feline sidekick Furious B. (aka Bam Bam… that’s right, my cat is so epic he has two names) is a bird catching expert, often leaving little presents for Ma and Pa Sip. Perhaps he could lend some advice to Sylvester and together they could eradicate the bird population.

Joffrey Baratheon – Game of Thrones

I’m sure it’s eventually coming, but I can’t wait to see this little brat get knocked down a few thousand pegs. Hell, throw in his mother and grandfather and let them all get treated to some revenge best served cold. It will be a complete pleasure to see this little psychopath meet his maker. The only question is, who will be the one to get to him? There’s already a long and growing list of potential vindicators!

Wrestling Heel – All Promotions

The history of professional wrestling has been filled with dastardly bad guys, who cheat and coward their way to the top. All you want to see is them get locked in a steel cage and get their ass handed to them on a silver platter, courtesy of the heroic good guy who just can’t take the injustice anymore. Some of the best in history include Triple H, Ric Flair, Edge, Ted DiBiase, and even WWE chairman Vince McMahon.

Brad Marchand – Boston Bruins

While I don’t wish anything bad on most hockey players, there is one I wouldn’t mind hearing had post-concussion issues and that is the reigning rat king of the NHL, Brad Marchand. He is a talented player, but he’s also dirty and much like the rest of his team, gets away with more than most players are able to. The way he repeatedly punched Daniel Sedin during the 2011 Stanley Cup Finals – and got away with it – was disgusting.

The Governor – The Walking Dead

While The Governor has suffered his own share of tragedy, much like the rest of the survivors in AMC’s Zombie infested world, his sneaky, vile behavior begs that he receives even more misfortune. And you can bet Rick and company will deliver. All we have to do is wait for Season 4 to kick-off and revenge plans should be in motion. Sadly, The Governor’s remaining troops might eliminate a few more of the good guys before it’s all said and done.

Nurse Ratched – One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

This evil woman is the domineering presence reigning over the mental institution in which Randle McMurphy finds himself sent to. Nurse Ratched is responsible for the lobotomy of McMurphy, which renders him useless, after he continued to defy her authority despite shock therapy and other punishments. Granted McMurphy nearly choked Ratched to death (after she caused the suicide of a young, frightened patient) and caused her injury to her neck and vocal cord, but she never truly faces retribution for her abuse of power and patients.

Drink #210: Bloody Roadrunner

1.5 oz Southern Comfort
Top with half Sports Drink and half Fruit Punch
Garnish with Raspberries

Unfortunately, we may never see some of these people get their comeuppance. We are allowed to dream, however, and dream we shall!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This is a tasty cocktail, but could use something in the form of bubbles to give it a little more zest. Otherwise, it goes down a little too easy like juice or iced tea.

July 28 – The Ultimate Warrior

Posted on July 28, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Battle Royal

The TV show Deadliest Warrior takes a look at hypothetical battles between ancient armies, modern day forces, and ruthless leaders. The fine folks running the program have lent me their software, in exchange for my Nintendo Wii, and I’ve decided to run some data. Here are a few Deadliest Warrior simulations I’ve run through their super computer:

Muppets vs. American Gladiators

On paper, this looks to be a no-brainer, but in reality, while the American Gladiators are hulking, intimidating foes, you really can’t hurt a Muppet. Muppets are practically invincible and you have to figure that the Gladiators will tire eventually, especially with the Muppets constantly cracking jokes – some good, some awful.
Winner: Muppets – No matter how many times the American Gladiators shot at the Muppets with their patented tennis ball cannon or smacked the likes of Kermit, Gonzo and Fozzy with jousting sticks, the persistent Muppets continued to attack. In particular, Animal was a brave and wild soldier, attacking the Gladiators with total disregard for his own well-being.

Skeletons vs. Monkeys

The real issue here is whether or not skeletons are prone to pain. Can you kill what is already dead? I say, hypothetically yes. Monkey weaponry is a mixed bag of tactics. There is, of course, the dung bomb, as well as the much-feared fury attack. Skeletons, however, are just creepy and can move around in an unfathomable manner.
Winner: The monkeys’ ability to attack and retreat gives them the edge in this close battle.

Cats vs. Jelly Beans

Cats may be lazy and easily distracted, but they also have a killer instinct when searching for “gifts” for their owners. Jelly beans are perhaps even lazier than kitties, just lying there, waiting to be eaten. Much like a possum, however, a jelly bean’s greatest asset is lying in wait and delivering sometimes grotesque flavours upon its attacker. Unless the jelly bean is tuna-flavoured, it may have an advantage on cats.
Winner: Jelly Beans – In a battle of who cares less, shockingly kittens do, and the last standing–as the cats pursue other interests like strings and bouncing balls–is the inanimate candy.

Hockey Players vs. Decepticons

On one hand, hockey players are some of the toughest dudes on the planet, known for playing through serious injury and never hesitating to sacrifice their body, en route to championship glory. On the other hand, the Decepticons are freakin’ robots… and evil robots, at that. Although given how some hockey players answer media questions, that depiction might not be solely for the Transformers.
Winner: I have to side with the hockey players. If Shia Labeouf can take on the Decepticons, is easy to fathom some of hockey’s greatest goons standing a chance, too.

Fast Food Servers vs. Jedis

I mean sure, one side has mind-power abilities and weapons that can slice through human flesh, but the other side are freakin’ Jedis! See what I did there… totally suckered you all in. The Jedis have a distinct advantage going into this battle, but never underestimate a slacker who holds you meal’s fate in his hands. Fast food servers can over season it, under cook it, or worst of all, spit on it!
Winner: I gotta give the W to the Jedis thanks to leadership from puppets like Yoda and Samuel L. Jackson.

Moonshiners vs. Birdwatchers

While moonshiners have the weaponry and will defend their stash to the death, birdwatchers are patient and can wait for unbelievable amounts of time prior to stealthy strikes. You also have to figure that the moonshiners will be plastered and that could alter their abilities on the battlefield.
Winner: The moonshiners get the duke for two reasons: shotguns trump binoculars and who the hell can ever have any respect for people who care about birds!

Drink #209: The Ultimate Warrior (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

Rim glass with Sprinkles
0.5 oz Jagermeister
0.5 oz Wiser’s Spiced Whiskey
0.5 oz Crowberry Frost Liqueur
Top with Root Beer

Are there any other battles you want me to run through the simulator, before I return the Deadliest Warrior computer to its rightful owner? If you can manage to make me laugh, I’ll have cocktail in your honour!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I picked liquors that I felt fell under the “warrior” motif. Jagermeister and Wiser’s both run ads about earning the right to drink their spirits and Crowberry Frost Liqueur makes me think of Game of Thrones (Winter is coming, you know). Root Beer was my pick for mixer because, let’s be honest, it is above and beyond the most manly soft drink in existence. The Sprinkles came to mind when thinking about former wrestling star The Ultimate Warrior’s face paint. Put it all together and you have one hell of a cocktail!

July 27 – Beneath the Sea

Posted on July 27, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Beer Christenings

There are some pretty clever beer names out there… a lot of them, to be honest. Today, I’ve tried to narrow down some of the best I’ve seen or heard of and hopefully we can all have some laughs thanks to these inventive brewers.

Hell or High Watermelon – 21st Amendment

One of my favourite beers I’ve sadly only been able to try once. I’ve tried a couple other watermelon and wheat-based concoctions, but Hell or High Watermelon is by far my preferred option. I happily sipped on it at Beer 39 in San Francisco and although I’ve found stores where I can pick it up when I’m in the U.S., it’s hard to justify using my liquor allowance on beer. 21st Amendment also makes the Beerly Legal Lager, which is another crafty name for a brew.

Hoptimus Prime – Ruckus (and others)

There are a lot of beers that play with the word hop in their name (Smoother Hoperator, Stop, Hop and Roll, and Hoppy Ending are a few that come to mind), but Hoptimus Prime is is by far the best, as the companies (there are multiple) play on the Optimus Prime Transformers character. This kind of makes me want to see the Autobots get their drink on, which would be like Bender from Futurama getting blitzed but with so much more destruction!

Kilt Lifter – Pike (and others)

This ale seems to be a common release from a number of different companies. Pike is one of the more popular and also a micro-brewery/pub I have personally visited and enjoyed thoroughly nearly every time I’m in Seattle, Washington. I’ve even tried the Kilt Lifter despite not being a big ale drinker, as you have to try something with a name like this when the opportunity arises!

Panty Peeler – Midnight Sun

Well, we all hope this is the end result of a night drinking with the missus! Sticking with the removal of clothes, started by the Kilt Lifter above, the Panty Peeler features an 8.5% alcohol content, which just may accelerate the removal of clothing. It is described as a Belgian triple with American boldness and originally went under a different name, but received its new moniker over time. Gee, I wonder how that happened!

Blithering Idiot – Weyerbacher

Clearly, the fine folks at Weyerbacher know exactly what their customers become after consuming their products! I know I’ve had my fair share of “Blithering Idiot” moments after downing a few too many pints. This barley wine ale has a great label featuring an evil looking jester that just may haunt your dreams if you turn into a blithering idiot yourself.

Duck Duck Gooze – The Lost Abbey

The name of this beer is a play on the gueuze style, which is a Belgian fermentation technique, resulting in brews dubbed Brussels Champagne. When drinking Duck Duck Gooze, you should then play a complete trashed version of the classic children’s game, wobbling around the circle as you chase down your opponent and walloping them good when you catch them. Apparently, this beer is only released once every three years, so you’ll want to grab it if you ever see it.

Boom Shakalager – Terrapin Side Project

This takes me back to the days of NBA Jam, being on fire, and the announcer shouting “BOOM SHAKALAKA” as you performed a mega dunk, slamming the basketball straight to hell! The 9% alcohol content will definitely have you “on fire”, similar to NBA Jam, but your dunking skills are probably in need of major work and I predict any number of serious court injuries if you try to slam a ball while buzzing on Boom Shakalager!

Effinguud – Valley Brew

The makers of this beer have a very high opinion of it. With their confidence fully behind the brew, it gives me complete faith in the sour/wild ale. Similar to the tactic used by Effen Vodka, Effinguud will get your attention with its name and hopes to keep it with its taste. I wonder if you would be in line for a refund if you had a bad experience with the drink?Would it be false advertising?

CA$H 4 Golden Ale – Pipeworks

We’ve all seen or heard about the Cash for Gold stores, where customers can exchange their jewelry and other trinkets for money (it was even parodied on a recent episode of South Park). Now you can apparently get some currency in exchange for trading in your beer. I have yet to see one of their locations, but I have to admit, I’m not really searching, preferring to drink my beer (perhaps a CA$H 4 Golden Ale), rather than exchange it.

For Those About to Bock – HopWorks

We salute you! While most people like to combine their drinking with the hard rock music of AC/DC (sorry, there’s no lightning bolt for the ‘/’ symbol), this company took it a step further and named their beer based on the band’s hit ‘For Those About to Rock’. Taking the Bock style of beer, which is a traditional German strong brew, HopWorks has made the perfect libation for heavy drinkers and hard rockers alike.

Nonethewizer – Drakes

I figured this beer would be of the Hefeweizen variety, but it’s actually a Kölsch/Altbier brew. I feel like Nonethewizer would be a perfect beer to be sneaking around, leaving people none-the-wiser that you’re actually getting smashed. It could be enjoyed at work, while at your child’s school events, during excruciating dry social occasions, and really anywhere else a beer would hit the spot but is looked down upon by the rest of society!

Drink #208: Beneath the Sea

0.5 oz Blue Curacao
0.5 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Bailey’s Irish Crème
Drop a couple drops of GIB Raspberry Ale
Garnish with Shark Candy

That wraps up Beer Cocktail Week at The Sip. I hope you’ve all enjoyed this trip down brewery lane and you’ve remembered the old saying: liquor before beer, you’re in the clear… beer before liquor, never been sicker. Although, I’m not too sure how it goes when we’ve been combining the two all week!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I kind of wish I had picked a beer shooter that involved more than a few drop of the brew, but this seemed like a neat option among too many lame ones. The layering that was supposed to occur didn’t and the seaweed effect with adding the raspberry beer drops never worked either. Still, any excuse to use a gummy shark is a good one!

July 26 – Beer’s Knees

Posted on July 26, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Beerfest

Over my years, I’ve picked up many a drinking game (after all, who doesn’t like to increase their boozing fun with some friendly competition and laughs?). Here are some of my favourites:

Beer Pong

Playing in teams of two, Beer Pong is the art of throwing (or bouncing) ping pong balls across a table into cups on the other end. Depending on which cup you hit, you might be in line for bonus cups to be eliminated, which are then drunk by your foes. Eliminate all of your opponent’s cups and you win. At the Sip Advisor headquarters, I am the host of an annual Beer Pong tournament. This year will mark the fourth edition of the event, which has featured some of the finest pongers among my circle of friends and associates. We’re always trying to adapt our house rules to make the experience flow smoothly and provide guests with a great time. While it’s been three years since I last tasted championship glory in the inaugural tournament, I look to finally return to the winner’s circle this year and be the complete annoying, narcissist, ass I know I can be. Last note, always respect house rules where you’re playing!

Even Jesus played Beer Pong… looks like a shutout is brewing!

Flippy Cup

Another very active drinking game, which features teams of three to five competing to down their beer and flip their cup, situated on the edge of the table, onto its top in a relay-style race. This game inspires great camaraderie amongst your mates and also vicious feuds with your opponents (or that one person on your team who costs you every race because they just can’t get the core concept of the game). It’s best to break up into teams (boys vs. girls, city yuppies vs. country bumpkins, or however you want to split the group) and duel it out in a best-of-seven series. Once the series has been decided, switch the teams up and go again. This game can get a little messy, so you might want to play outside, or on a table you don’t mind trashing a little before it’s cleaned up.

Never Have I Ever

This is the fastest way to get to know your friends more intimately than you ever intended (or possibly wanted). It’s a pretty simple game: sit in a circle of sorts and go around saying something you’ve never done before. Those who have actually done it, have to take a sip of their drink. You can throw anything out there, from feats of daredevilry (wow, that’s actually a word… I thought I was making it up) to actions of a more adult nature. There’s no real ending to this game unless people grow tired of their privacy being invaded or you just don’t have much else left to learn about your peeps. It’s a perfect game for camping and sitting around the fire pit. It can get a little rowdy however, so be careful of noise levels if you’re in a public place at later evening hours.

King’s Cup/Ring of Fire/Sociables

This is a great game when you just want to sit back and chill out, while getting bombed and having a ton of fun. It has multiple names, so use whichever you prefer. You start by laying out a full deck of cards in a ring around the center cup. Each card means something different and house rules can often vary. For example, 2 means you drink, while 3 means me drink, and so on, in other rules, 2 and 3, can mean give out those numbers of drinks.. Some cards have more active rules, like making up a rule that every player has to abide by and proposing a category that people have to name items for. Each time a King is drawn that player pours as much of his or her drink as they want into the centre cup. The game continues until the fourth King is pulled and whoever is unfortunate enough to draw that card has to down the center cup. This game can get interesting fast if everyone is drinking something different as anticipation grows as to who will draw the last king and be forced to drink the mixed brew!

Drink #207: Beer’s Knees

1.5 oz Gin
1 oz Lemon Juice
1 oz Honey Syrup
Top with Hefeweizen (I used Rickard’s White)
Garnish with Lemon Wedge

The names and rules of some of these games may be different in your neck of the woods. I’m simply describing them as I know them. If you have any Beer Pong rule suggestions for my upcoming tournament, feel free to pass them along. We might not use the rule, but I always appreciate having options. Same thing goes for drinking games I’ve neglected to mention in this article.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
Lemon Juice tastes really good with Hefeweizen Beer (no surprise there!) and the touch of honey is a nice little bonus, adding a sweet ending to each sip of the beer cocktail.

July 25 – Boilermaker

Posted on July 25, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Beer… The Musical!

There are countless songs out there that could have made this beer playlist, but all you little sippers know that I strive to provide you with the pinnacle of entertainment and in doing so, I can’t include everything. Therefore, I present to you, songs you can get blotto to, the beer edition!

The Beer Song – ‘Weird’ Al Yankovic

Might as well get started with a little humour. I’ve always enjoyed Weird Al, having grown up on the parodist’s work. So long as he isn’t performing one of his polka numbers, I’m down with giving his tracks a chance. The best line of the song has to be “Beer is liquid bread it’s good for you, We like to drink till we spew,” which would have been appreciated even more by adolescent Sip Advisor!

Red Solo Cup – Toby Keith

While not solely used for beer consumption, red Solo cups figure heavily into beer pong and the downing of suds during many a barbecue and party. The song is performed by country star and boozehound Toby Keith, who has so many tracks involving alcohol that he should be the patron saint of all country and liquor fans.

Friends in Low Places – Garth Brooks

“Where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away”… a Garth Brooks classic that somehow became the anthem of my and Mrs. Sip’s wedding… regardless of the live band that played some amazing classic rock covers. This song is perfect for everything from camping to parties, to apparently even the exchange of nuptials. And trust me, we all have friends in low places… our wedding proved that fact!

One Bourboun, One Scotch, One Beer – George Thorogood

I’m not a fan of story songs and this one runs a little long, but the message is what it’s all about. The dude is having a tough day and all he wants is one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer. What’s wrong with that? He’s even drinking them in the proper order of liquor before beer and you’re in the clear. I personally think any beer drinking occasion should begin with this process, to honour Mr. ‘Bad to the Bone’!

Beer Drinkers and Hell Raisers – ZZ Top

Leave it to the wise, beardly ZZ Top boys to slam brews and raise hell. I could see myself totally getting bad ass to this song… which in my realm means slamming a bunch of beers and doing stupid stuff in and around Ma and Pa Sip’s pool. This is a really good tune for anyone that hasn’t heard it before and will probably be my theme music for future beer pong tournaments (I host one every year!).

In Heaven There is No Beer – Soggy Bottom Boys

Well, if this is true, it’s very disheartening. We work our entire lives to be good and virtuous, with the hopes it will get us entry through the pearly gates and into a land of paradise. If we get there and no beer is to be found, well I for one will be one grumpy Sip Advisor. I’m sure much of Sip Nation would feel the same. That’s when we rebel and burn the place down. I bet they serve iced cold ones in hell!

Warm Beer and Cold Women – Tom Waits

Continuing with our downward trend, these could quite possibly be two of the worst things known to humans. Thankfully, for myself, Mrs. Sip is a freakin’ furnace and warm suds have never really been a concern for me, thanks to my great ability to plan and organize beer refrigeration ahead of my arrival. It’s like I’m a god damn celebrity up in here!

99 Bottles of Beer – Everyone Ever

This is probably a good one to end the list with, as it shows just exactly how low we’ve regressed thanks to the pyramid of beer cans we’ve built. Our beer-amid is a gift to the world, more meaningful than the Statue of Liberty, Eiffel Tower, and Leaning Tower of Pisa combined. This tune could take us a little while to get through, so why don’t we just say we did it and head off to bed for that wonderful drunk and delirious sleep we all crave!

Drink #206: Boilermaker

1.5 oz Tequila (I used Hornitos)
Top with Beer
Garnish with Lime Wedge

Hit repeat on Red Solo Cup, drop that Tequila shot into your mug of beer, and slam that sucka!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
What can you say about a shot of Tequila in a Beer that hasn’t already been said? This cocktail packs a punch, but personally, it’s one I’d line up for to get knocked out!

July 24 – California Root Beer

Posted on July 24, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Brewski Tours

I love going on brewery tours, but as far as I’m concerned, the tour portion of the stopover are all largely the same. Once you’ve seen one vat of fermenting hops, you’ve seen them all. Therefore, I will largely base my brewery experience on the intangibles (tastings, other exhibits, etc.) of our visits. Without further ado then, here are some of my favourite breweries that I’ve been able to get to:

Heineken – Amsterdam, Netherlands

Dubbed ‘The Heineken Experience’, this brewery tour is so much more than a quick walk through the brewing and bottling plant. They have everything from a station you can record a video at and send to your family and friends, to instruments made out of Heineken supplies, and, of course, a bar with multiple tastings to enjoy. We even made friends with an Aussie traveling on his own, enjoyed some brews together, and ended up all going to dinner at the nearby Hard Rock Café.

Whistler – Whistler, Canada

I liked the Whistler micro-brewery set up. Once the tour was done, you had all the company’s beer to choose from in a bar like setting, complete with board games, good food, and good company. My only note of advice is that the place is a little outside of Whistler Village, so you’ll either need a designated driver to get your crew there or luck out and have your hotel offer a shuttle to and from the outlet.

Holsten – Hamburg, Germany

What could be more fun than a brewery tour? How about one in a language you don’t understand! Ma Sip knows some German, so she was able to fill in any blanks, if necessary, but we were largely there to see, not hear… and eventually taste. When we were trying to book the tour, we were told that only groups were allowed. Ma Sip replied that we were a ‘group of four’ and our visit was on! I’ll always fondly remember the beer and pretzels we were given in the tasting portion of the attraction.

Granville Island – Vancouver, Canada

One of my favourite local micro-breweries, it’s always fun popping into the Granville Island Brewery, which has a great little area for taste tests, a stocked gift shop, and their tour isn’t too bad either… because it’s relatively short! They know people are mostly there for the samples. Granville Island itself is a funky little place to explore. It’s kind of the artsy area of Vancouver with improve shows, good restaurants, and watersports options.

Guinness – Dublin, Ireland

This one haunts me a little because we never actually got inside the palace of stout (Guinness PR people, you can thank me for that one later with a lifetime supply of suds). Our group took transit to the brewery on Friday and even got a picture outside one of the gates. When we were told the wait was two hours to get inside – it was St. Patrick’s Day weekend after all – we elected to save our visit for Monday, as we had to check-in to our hostel shortly. Due to unforeseen god-awful, weather, we had to leave Ireland very early that Monday morning and the Guinness Brewery was not to be enjoyed.

Steam Whistle – Toronto, Canada

I did the tour when Ma and Pa Sip visited me while living in ‘The Big Smoke’ and returned later for free beers (sans tour) with Mrs. Sip, prior to a Toronto Blue Jays game. When you’d enter, you’d get a couple tickets for free beer samples and the generous pours were enough to have you walking wobbly by the time you left the facility, en route to the game for really expensive and lacking-in-quality drinks.

Alexander Keith’s – Halifax, Canada

No visit to Halifax, Nova Scotia would be complete without a stop at the Alexander Keith’s Brewery. Here, you are guided through the history of the beer by period-dressed guides, learning about their trademark brewing practices. Finally, you come to the really good part: beer samples and games to play while boozing. Ma and Pa Sip aren’t fans of suds, so Mrs. Sip and I were the lucky recipients of bonus brews and we left the place with a good buzz and a couple “liberated” Keith’s mugs!

Carlsberg – Copenhagen, Denmark

Our most recent brewery visit was a lot of fun, despite being exhausted from travel and sleepless night. That’s what’s awesome about your fabled Sip Advisor, he knows when to man up for the sake of liquor. The Carlsberg Brewery has a stable of Jutland horses, had a neat exhibit on bottles of beer from around the world, and tons of history on the Carlsberg legacy and brewing techniques.

Drink #205: California Root Beer

1 oz Kahlua
1 oz Galliano
Top with half Cola and half Beer (I used GIB Lager)
Garnish with Lemon Wedge

Later this summer, Mrs. Sip, myself and members of the Sip Alliance have a tour booked that will stop at a handful of local breweries that we’re all looking very forward to visiting. I better make my post early that day because by the time I get back home, I’ll probably be too blasted to work a computer!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
This beer cocktail is simply delicious. You get hints of Galliano and Kahlua to go along with the Cola and Beer flavours. I heavily adapted this recipe to suit my needs and I’m glad I did so!

July 23 – Sizzler

Posted on July 23, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Phrases to Drink By

There are a million different beers out there, so differentiating yourself from the competition is very important. One way to do so is to adopt a catchy mantra that grabs the customer and forces them to give your suds a fair shot. Here are some of the best:

Dos Equis – Stay Thirsty My Friends

I really like this slogan… not that I wish people aren’t able to quench their thirst, as that would suck and it goes against the core concept of the Sip Advisor. But we should always be looking for opportunities to enjoy some libations with our closest friends and family. The line is especially epic when delivered by “the most interesting man in the world,” who has become an idol of sorts for myself.

Heineken – Heineken Refreshes the Parts Other Beers Cannot Reach

I’m curious as to which exact parts are being refreshed when I drink a Heineken compared to other options. Could it be the part that’s in the name, the heiney? Moving on, as I’ve mentioned before, I’m not a huge fan of Heineken, but I did like their brewery tour and experience in Amsterdam and I think this slogan is pretty clever, despite its vagueness.

Corona – Miles Away From Ordinary

I always enjoyed the Corona ads that were set at the beach and featured people just relaxing and soaking in all of life’s pleasures. While I’ve learned I like other Mexican selections better (Modelo, Pacifico, etc.), Corona is the perfect beach beer. It was even my drink of choice as I established a world record for drinking a beer underwater… definitely, miles away from ordinary.

Molson Canadian – I Am Canadian

Us Canadians are pretty proud of our beer… even the cheap stuff. Home to some of the finest micro-breweries in existence, we also churn out the big business stuff and brag about how much better our suds are compared to our southern neighbours. How accurate this is, is up for debate, but the I Am Canadian campaign did launch the famous commercial below, as well as a ton of Canadian patriotism (a rare find, indeed).

Sleeman’s – Notoriously Good

Thanks to the beer’s association with pirates, bootlegging, Al Capone, and other seedy characters, the brewery has decided to embrace that legacy with its ‘Notoriously Good’ ad campaign. I like Sleeman’s mixed pack of brews, as they are perfect for relaxing pool side at the Sip Advisor retreat home. I have spent countless hours floating and burning with a Sleeman’s nearby… because, I am after all, notoriously good!

Budweiser – This Bud’s For You

Budweiser has had a lot of memorable ad campaigns, from the Clysdale horses to the “Wassup” guys, but nothing will beat this classic slogan, which has become part of the American lexicon. I even remember when Bud Bundy used the catchphrase to his advantage on Married with Children. While Mrs. Sip is still furious over Budweiser stealing its name from an established European brewery, there’s not much any of us can do about it but drink up!

Carlsberg – Probably the Best Beer in the World

I don’t know what I find so funny about the “probably” thrown in at the start of this slogan, but when I first saw it in the U.K. I thought it was hilarious. I was “probably” drunk at the time, so that helps! While I will always have a soft spot in my heart for Carlsberg because it was our go-to brew for games of beer pong, while living in England, I’d have to say that it’s actually “probably not” the best beer in the world.

…or not

Foster’s – Australian for Beer

While Mrs. Sip lived in Australia (and I joined her for six magical weeks), we learned that Australians wouldn’t dare even touch Foster’s. Still, it is advertised as one of the country’s greatest exports, so maybe the slogan should correctly read: Foster’s, American for Australian Beer. I can’t say that I’ve ever had a Foster’s beer, the only offering on this list I haven’t tried. That will be remedied immediately.

Red Stripe – It’s BEER. Hooray beer!

As if Jamaicans need to find a good reason to party… I guess the celebration of beer is as good excuse as any, but when you live in a tropical paradise, full of sandy beaches, scantily clad women, and easily accessible marijuana, what is there to complain about? I suppose you could point to the serious crimes perpetrated around the country, but you should just relax and crack another Red Stripe!

Labatt Blue – If I Wanted Water, I Would Have Asked for Water

I feel that this was a shot at American beers, fired directly across the bow, courtesy of a Canadian brewery. Labatt is the best-selling Canadian beer around the world, which gives them some clout to be able to make these statements. I personally like the slogan, regardless of its intentions, because when I want some suds, I don’t want them to be watered down… a cardinal sin in the brewing industry.

Sapporo – Senses Never Forget

Sapporo is one of my favourite walking beers when I’m in Las Vegas because it comes in an absolutely massive can that is perfect for sharing and will last you a good distance. My senses surely have never forgotten this, even while I spend much of my Vegas vacation trashed. I also like the company’s new commercials which feature dragon’s warming the brewing vats with their fire.

Drink #204: Sizzler

1 oz Whiskey
1 oz Vodka
Top with half Lager and half Lemonade (I used Rickard’s Shandy)
Garnish with Lemon Wedges

As a fan of micro-breweries, I wish more of them would put out their own slogans and not leave it to the big breweries to solely play the game. Then again, the big boys are the ones who can put more resources towards marketing campaigns. Back to drinking!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
Using a Shandy Beer basically covers the Beer-Lemonade combo, but I did add a little extra Lemonade for good measure. The Vodka and Honey Whiskey mix tasted good before I even added the brew and I’ll have to consider it for a future recipe.

July 22 – Cincinnati Lunchbox

Posted on July 22, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Burger Bar

Very few things compliment a tall, cold mug of beer like burgers do. I’ve been privileged to enjoy a number of fine selections. Here are some of my favourites:

Legendary Burger – White Spot

A darling of Western Canada (particularly the province of British Columbia), I can rarely remember a trip to White Spot that didn’t result in ordering this burger. You scan the menu every single time and even contemplate ordering something other than the norm, but you always end up asking for your favourite and you never regret doing so. The secret recipe Triple-O sauce is to die for and should be available to purchase.

Prime Rib Burger – The Keg

Ordered off of its bar menu, most Keg restaurants will allow this to be selected even if you’re in their main dining room, as well. The ones that don’t are listed near the top of my always growing ‘enemy list’. This burger is absolutely fantastic. The seasoning, combined with all the toppings makes for one tasty meal. Take my advice and throw in an extra buck for the bacon. Unbelievably, it’s one of the cheapest items on the restaurant’s menu to boot!

Whopper – Burger King

Flame broiled, yes please! The thing I love best about the Whopper is that it is loaded with toppings. Toppings are essential to any burger enjoyment and the King has read that message loud and clear. I appreciate that the chain has found its way into a number of airports, giving me an opportunity to have a decent meal on the run. Burger King is also one of the few food vendors in movie theatres around my parts, taking advantage of hungry moviegoers.

Big Xtra – McDonalds

Although I can only find this burger (known as the Big N’ Tasty in the U.S.) at Wal-Mart-connected McDonalds, it is worth the trip. In my opinion, all burgers need essential ingredients and this meal covers all the bases. You have your lettuce, tomato, mayo, ketchup, pickles, and onions… all the colours of the rainbow. Perhaps the only thing missing is a couple strips of bacon, but we’ll let that transgression pass.

Big Crunch – KFC

I had to include a chicken burger on this list and the best place in the world for bird meat is hands down KFC. I haven’t had a Big Crunch in a couple years, but just writing this has me craving the delicious 11 secret herbs and spices recipe. A little tip for chicken burger connoisseurs, try dipping your meal in ketchup before each bite, adding another wonderful flavour to the mix.

Kobe Beef Sliders – Milestones

Perhaps the only thing better than one big burger is three mini burgers! Most of my beef selections come sans cheese, but in this case, I’m happy to leave the mozzarella on. The Milestones sliders are topped with crispy onion straws and are accompanied by a delicious sesame mustard sauce for dipping. The appetizer is perfect for sharing and Mrs. Sip and I have been known to gorge ourselves on a couple starters prior to skipping dinner!

Bacon Deluxe – Red Mill Burgers

I learned of Red Mill Burgers watching Man vs. Food, as host Adam Richman toured a selection of restaurants in Seattle, Washington. Thankfully, that means the franchise’s locations are only a two-hour drive away for Mrs. Sip and I. Well worth it, I would say! When we arrived, the line-up for ordering was out the door and it didn’t take long to understand why. Loaded with toppings and the delicious Mill Sauce, I was in burger heaven and I enjoyed the euphoria the entire two-hour trip home!

Drink #203: Cincinnati Lunchbox

1 oz Amaretto
Top with half Orange Juice and half Beer (I used GIB Hefeweizen)
Garnish with Orange Slice

All this talk of burgers has got me really hungry… and all this mentioning of beer has got me really thirsty. Why won’t someone satisfy my needs!? I don’t ask for much. Only to be fed, thirst quenched, and legions of fans who will do my bidding!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Not a bad beer cocktail, but a little sweet and not really memorable… it doesn’t live up to the burgers listed above. I was looking forward to this drink, as Hefeweizen Beers are my favourite, but I think the Orange Juice took over too much.