May 8 – McNuggetini

Posted on May 8, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

McHappy Day

While I don’t go there nearly as often as I did in a previous life, I still have a fondness for the “golden arches”! One of my favourite McDonald’s menu items of all time is the Big Xtra (or Big N’ Tasty for the American audience). This sandwich has vastly disappeared from most McDonald’s restaurants, but for some reason is available at all Wal-Mart McDonald’s outlets.

When I once worked conveniently across the street from a McDonald’s, I would occasionally walk a couple extra blocks to the nearby Wal-Mart to get my true menu item of choice. On a recent Wal-Mart shopping expedition, complete with Big X-tra indulgence, I got to thinking about McDonald’s mains and sides I’d love to see back on the menu.

Shaker Fries

Back when Mickey-D’s featured a limited-time “Taste of the Month” menu item, the shaker fries were introduced. The flavour options included sour crème and onion and barbecue. The gimmick was simple. You’d pour your carton of fries into a shaker bag, along with your seasoning of choice, give it a quick whirl and voila, flavoured fries. When Mrs. Sip and I were visiting New Zealand, we came across a McDonald’s that had these very fries and best of all, you were able to eat your meal inside a replica small plane!

Arch Deluxe

A precursor of sorts to the company’s current crop of “luxury” burger offerings, the Arch Deluxe featured a larger than normal beef patty, along with lettuce, tomato, onion, cheese, and optional bacon. Today, the chain offers Angus burgers in its place (in Canada, at least) and we have this innovator to thank for the progressive burger movement.

McPizza

Another McDonalds oddity that was actually pretty decent. I remember Papa Sip – never a huge fan of McDonalds food, except breakfast – would always order this menu item. McPizza was taken off the menu because it took the restaurants too long to make each order, thus not falling in line with the concept of fast food.

McDonaldland Cookies

A very memorable childhood treat and featured in a little cardboard box, the McDonaldland chocolate chip cookies existed in a time where we didn’t force kids to have a side of apple slices with their cheeseburger because they don’t know what it’s like to go outside and exercise. Sadly, these cookies have been extinct for some time now. I wonder if anyone is selling a pack on EBay or something.

Orange Drink

This stuff was totally radical! It was like that Super Socco juice box, except watered down to extreme levels. If I could get my hands on this substance today, first I’d also ask to take a tour of the McDonalds facility (do you remember when they used to do that at birthday parties?) and play in the ball pit, before heading home and coming up with some drink ideas for the sweet nectar.

Deli Sandwiches

These subs were pretty good… not Subway good, but not too shabby, either. The sandwiches were released at a time when McDonalds was trying to improve its image as a healthy choice in the fast food market and compete with restaurants like Quiznos and the aforementioned Subway. My choice among the lot was the Turkey BLT, which came with all the ingredients you’d expect from its name.

Meal Days

Mondays were Big Mac day, Tuesdays featured the Big Xtra, Wednesdays brought the McChicken to the yard and so on. The only meal day I didn’t much care for was Filet O’ Fish on Fridays, but cheap burgers each day of the week was pretty epic. Why they ever got rid of this promotion, which surely had to be successful, I’ll never know. At least it existed during my high school days. Ah, so many classes skipped to hang out at McDonalds, playing cards, and scoring cheap eats!

Drink #128: McNuggetini

Rim glass with Barbecue Sauce
1.5 oz Vodka (I used Pinnacle Chocolate Whipped)
Top with McDonald’s Chocolate Milkshake
Garnish with a Chicken McNugget

Such an awe-inspiring concoction! There are many McDonalds’ items that I have yet to try, as I constantly add to my “To Eat” list. This includes the McRib and McLobster sandwiches as well as McPoutine. Help me on my quest by donating to the ‘Make a Sip Foundation’. Seriously, though, go out and grab a menu item that provides money for charity on this, the happiest of all days, McHappy Day!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
Most people probably can’t wrap their heads around the Barbecue Sauce rim working with a Chocolate Milkshake, but I have to say that the sweet sauce was a nice compliment to the chocolate shake. Chocolate Whipped Vodka was also an excellent call, on my behalf.

May 3 – Sidecar

Posted on May 3, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Sidekicking

The Sip Advisor has gone through numerous sidekicks over the years. I don’t have a good safety track-record with my associates and therefore find it hard to reel in replacements. Perhaps these guys and gals are looking for work. If so, please submit your resumes and head shots (females only) to Sip Advisor Headquarters, PO Box 84148. Best of luck to those applying!

Robin – Batman

Batman can get a lot of crazy stuff done on his own, but add in Robin and you have quite the dynamic duo. The ‘Boy Wonder’ is the quintessential sidekick. He knows his role as the number two and doesn’t overstep the boundaries of his part… except for his constant “holy, [insert something to do with their current predicament], Batman” musings.

Dr. Watson – Sherlock Holmes

Without Dr. Watson around, surely Sherlock Holmes would go insane under the weight of his own superior intelligence. Watson is the calming force that helps Sherlock work his way through mysteries and there’s the odd time where the good doctor’s problem solving ability is crucial in cracking a case. Mmmm, cracking a case… right, we’re not talking about beer.

Barney Fife – Andy Taylor

While Sheriff Andy Taylor was the straight man and level-headed leader of the Mayberry Police Department, his counterpart, Deputy Barney Fife was his inept, hapless partner. Together, they made a good pairing that kept the town safe and orderly, although Fife usually needed Taylor’s help to keep him safe from himself.

Dale Gribble – Hank Hill

While Dale is the kind of sidekick that causes more issues than he solves, he certainly keeps things interesting for best friend Hank. Dale’s paranoia has frequently got the best of him and one has to wonder if his career as a pest removal specialist – and all those toxic chemicals – isn’t to blame for some of his delusions. Hank has to reel his friend in from time to time, which is easy for the serious leader.

Milhouse Van Houten – Bart Simpson

And everything’s coming up Milhouse! It’s hard to tell sometimes if Milhouse is friends with Bart because he likes Bart or if he just wants to remain closer to his crush and Bart’s sister, Lisa. If there isn’t some degree of friendship between the two boys, then Milhouse has gone through a lot just for his unrequited love. Bart has caused him to get into a great deal of trouble, and when pressed as to why he’s friends with Milhouse, Bart struggles to answer, saying it is largely due to “geographic convenience”.

Barney Rubble – Fred Flintstone

Fred’s little buddy Barney is always up for Fred’s shenanigans and despite warning him of what the end results could be, Barney often goes along with the scheme. The two pals are both members of the Loyal Order of Water Buffalos and even work together at the Slate Rock and Gravel Company quarry. That’s a lot of time to spend with one person, but if it works for them, who am I to judge?

Mini-Me – Dr. Evil

The pint-sized clone of Dr. Evil may be small in stature, but he’s just as wicked as his “daddy”. Mini-Me also has the advantage of being at a perfect level for biting adversaries in the shin or delivering a devastating low blow. You can never stay too mad at the little guy, though, because he has such a sweet grin… even if it is hiding his evil side.

Diddy Kong – Donkey Kong

These two primates play off of each other so well that they have been able to keep Donkey Kong Country safe from evil crocodiles and slithering snakes on multiple occasions. Donkey Kong played the role of mentor to his young protégé Diddy, as they bashed their way over all the baddies who meant them harm. Diddy (no relation to Puff Daddy) even branched out and took the lead in his own game, letting Donkey enjoy a comfortable retirement in his banana horde. He hasn’t been seen in years!

Dwight Schrute – Michael Scott

In his constant pursuit of a management position at the Dunder-Mifflin paper company, Dwight Schrute idolizes manager Michael Scott, even if his treatment at the hands of his boss isn’t always the kindest. Dwight is often placed into the role of Assistant to the Regional Manager, which he claims means Assistant Regional Manager. Meanwhile, he’s stuck doing Michael’s laundry and other menial tasks, while others are promoted ahead of him.

Drink #123: Sidecar

1.5 oz Brandy (I used Meagher’s Apricot Brandy)
1.5 oz Cointreau
Splash of Lemon Juice
Garnish with an Orange Slice

When I was younger, Broski Sip was my sidekick and partner in crime. He’s since moved onto other endeavors, while I continue to pursue worldwide awesomeness. Mrs. Sip was offered his spot, but she declined, wanting to live a long life. So, I ask, who has the intestinal fortitude to join me in this pursuit? You will never regret it!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I’m learning quickly that I really enjoy Apricot Brandy. It very nicely accentuates the already delicious Triple Sec. The cocktail, as a whole, was good and an optional sugar rim could have been added for those who want an even sweeter taste.

April 30 – Income Tax Cocktail

Posted on April 30, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

We Hate Your Job

It’s tax season, which always brings to mind how much we hate the government getting its grubby hands into our pockets and taking what is rightfully ours for useless things such as healthcare and schools. Pssh, who needs those, right? Well, I for one, hope that everyone gets a decent tax return which they can invest in liquor libations! Here are some other professions we can hate all year round:

Tax Agents

Whether it’s the IRS in the United States, CRS in Canada, or whatever it is in your neck of the woods, everyone hates the taxman. The Beatles summed-up this venomous attitude very well in their 1966 hit Taxman, singing “Should five per cent appear too small, Be thankful I don’t take it all.” How much do we hate paying our taxes? World Wrestling Entertainment even featured an evil tax agent as a character from 1991 to 1995. His name: Irwin R. Schyster… get it? IRS! Oh, those creative writers!

If you don’t pay your taxes, you’re gonna get an ass whooping!

Telemarketers

The thing that pisses me off the most about telemarketers and door-to-door salesmen and the like, is that they have this innate ability to know when you will be most irritated with their interruption and that’s when they choose to contact you. This annoyance can also come in the form of unsolicited mail, which just wastes your time to open, process, and shred.

Lawyers

Liar, lawyer… what’s the difference? I have to tread carefully around this entry, as not only is Mrs. Sip a practicing family law lawyer, but by proxy, a lot of our friends are practitioners as well. One wrong word and I’ll receive a formal notice informing me that I’ll be sleeping on the couch for a week. Have it your way, baby!

(Used) Car Salesmen

No matter how nice they may seem, we must always be leery of the greedy, underhanded, (used) car salesman. So many things can go wrong in buying a new or used car from getting a lemon to being cheated on price and other details. The whole industry is a little dubious as far as I have seen and I will avoid it like a plague.

I want to buy a car off of this dude!

Politicians

I personally dislike all politicians. I have no allegiance to any party or denomination and I fully intend on keeping it that way. I don’t even like talking politics and feel it should be banned from all dinner settings. That said, I believe I have a number of great ideas on how to change this place for the better and I hereby announce my candidacy in the upcoming election.

Parking Enforcers

We’ve all been there before. You’re two minutes late getting back to your car after your meter has run out and yet there’s already a ticket freshly placed on your windshield with no soul in sight to indicate who wrote it. They are like ghosts that vanish the moment they have ruined your day. That said, I’ve never had to pay a single parking ticket (not that I’m building a collection) and have been able to talk my way out of the couple violations left on my vehicle.

Tow Truck Operators

In a similar vein to parking enforcers, tow truck operators seem to prey on their next targets, just waiting for someone to slip up, even innocently, so they can get their next pick-up and meet their quota. A few TV shows have tried to show us that tow operators aren’t so bad, but the perception is a very tough one to improve.

Drink #120: Income Tax Cocktail

1.5 oz Gin (I used Beefeater)
0.75 oz Dry Vermouth
0.75 oz Sweet Vermouth
Splash of Orange Juice
Dashes of Angostura Bitters
Garnish with an Orange Twist

I’m just happy that bartender has to be one of the highest-ranked jobs on the list of jobs people adore. After all, we are responsible for helping you all get your buzz on and forget your troubles!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
There wasn’t much of a taste to this drink. I’m not sure if that’s because the Dry and Sweet Vermouth cancel each other out or because the other ingredients are so minimal that they don’t make much of a difference to the overall flavour. I’m a little flummoxed on this one, but at least it wasn’t bad.

April 26 – Jet Black

Posted on April 26, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Rule Britannia

I originally wanted to look at my favourite Britonians… until I realized how many of them I like. So not wanting to bog you, my little sippers, down in an essay of British love, I broke all my beloveds down into a few easy to discern categories. Now let’s do some light reading before some heavy drinking!

The Comedians – Benny Hill, Sacha Baron Cohen, Ricky Gervais, Little Britain Troupe

Benny Hill is a legend, while my other three selections are embarking on careers, hoping to reach the level of fame and success Hill was able to achieve. Thanks to all his wild characters and different accents, I didn’t even know Baron Cohen was British until researching for this post.

The Characters – Sherlock Holmes, Mr. Bean, James Bond, Harry Potter

These are some of my favourites – minus Harry Potter, who I only threw in to appease all the readers. You have the intellect of Holmes, the debonair style of Bond, and the wackiness of Bean. That would make one interesting love child.

The Shows – Are You Being Served?, Keeping Up Appearances, Fawlty Towers, My Family

The British have a very unique style of humour. It’s dry and witty and not as in-your-face as most North American fare. Some of England’s older shows are absolute classics. Although I didn’t include any in the above selections, the Brits also know how to make a great crime drama.

The Music – The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, The Rolling Stones, David Bowie

Wow, we might as well be discussing a ranking of my favourite bands. While it may kill Papa Sip for me to write this, on my list, the number one slot goes to Led Zeppelin, with The Beatles coming in at a very close second.

The Actors – Hugh Laurie, Vinnie Jones, Michael Caine

Well, my three candidates may be quite the mish-mash of English nobility. My preferred role for each, you ask? Hugh Laurie has to be House, Michael Caine is good in so much, but I thought he made a terrific Alfred in the new Batman trilogy and Vinnie Jones was great as the marble-mouthed hooligan in Euro Trip!

The Actresses – Keira Knightley, Emma Watson

These are two delicious young ladies that are known to light up the screen. Knightley was a knockout in the Pirates of the Caribbean series and Watson, once she was of legal age, became a sexy starlet in her own right.

The Dames – Judi Dench, Helen Mirren, Dame Edna

The equivalent to being knighted for a man, these women (and dude in the case of Edna!) have great acting chops. I kind of wish I could be knighted, or that Mrs. Sip could be made a dame. We just don’t have cool things like that on this side of the pond.

The Athletes – Wayne Rooney, David Beckham, The British Bulldog

As a Manchester United fan, I definitely have to give a nod to the likes of Rooney and Beckham, but The British Bulldog Davey Boy Smith also earns mention as one of my earliest favourite wrestlers. Smith was one of the most popular and accomplished English wrestlers, winning numerous championships around the world.

The Celebrities – The Royal Family (especially Kate and sister), Gordon Ramsay, Richard Branson

I’m almost certain the paparazzi phenomenon must have started in the U.K. with Royal Family gawkers. They’re alright, I guess, but give me a meal from Gordon Ramsay and an adventure with Richard Branson any day!

Drink #116: Jet Black

1.5 oz Gin
2 tsp Sweet Vermouth
1 tsp Sambuca
Garnish with Lemon Twist

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This drink was a little pedestrian. The ingredients mixed together well enough, but it wasn’t anything to write home about. And when you’re doing a blog about cocktails, that’s a major issue. I guess I just expected a little more from the drink and was let down.

April 22 – Moon River

Posted on April 22, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Making the World a Better Place

Today is Earth Day, so I thought we could brainstorm some ways to make this world a better place. You can follow my awesome example of mass recycling. The more you drink, the more you’re able to recycle and the wheel (or that silly little triangle logo they use: reduce, reuse, recycle) goes round and round. Remember, Earth: It’s the only one we got!

I am a staunch supporter of the cities that have assembled their homeless force (I would have called them workforce, but that seems a little oxymoronic) to wheel their carts around, plucking stray bottles and cans from garbage receptacles. This must continue, but we should groom them and give them rad uniforms and shopping buggies, so that people respect them and don’t just fear the deranged man chasing them down for their freshly purchased pop.

Countries should continue to phase out their monetary denominations, thus saving on raw materials like copper, alloy, nickel and paper for bills. Yes, plastic resource use would go up with the increase of debit and credit cards, but there’s tons of that stuff around, so who cares.

Acid rain should be encouraged as a device to cleanse the world of harmful deposits. Cleanliness is godliness and god is empty, just like me and The Smashing Pumpkins.

Not to mention, if Indiana Jones has taught us anything, it works pretty well on Nazis too!

Perhaps there is some way to harness the power of farts and turn them into energy. I remember hearing once that cow dung was being looked into for this, as on its own it is quite harmful to the atmosphere. I personally know a few blokes that would make a killing if this technology was ever developed and people could earn a living from their gas.

One thing that must change is that it’s more expensive to buy many recycled products compared to their brand-spanking-new counterparts. If I can get something new, for half the price as the recycled option, I think we all know which one the Sip Advisor is going to choose. Heck, it leaves me with more money for liquor.

Here’s a toast in honour of Earth, a gal who takes so much crap from us humans and only sends floods, earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, and tornados our way as an even up. You’re a sweet lady and we love you!

Drink #112: Moon River

1 oz Gin
1 oz Apricot Brandy
1 oz Cointreau (or other Triple Sec)
0.5 oz Galliano
Splash of Lemon Juice
Garnish with a Maraschino Cherry and Orange Wedge

Sip Advisor’s Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This drink smells just like a creamsicle… and guess what? It tastes a lot like one too! The Apricot Brandy and Cointreau make it a sweeter drink, but it’s nicely balanced by the gin. Drinkers beware, with the amount of alcohol in it this cocktail goes down a bit too easy. Some recipes may differ, but I fully trust the accuracy of Wikipedia.

April 9 – Toucan

Posted on April 9, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Angry Advisor

Let’s see: coffee drinkers… check; religious zealots… check; birds… hmmm, haven’t ranted on that yet!

I hate birds. Just downright don’t like them. All they do is poop on people… I should know, their bombs have struck me twice in my life and that’s something you just don’t forget.

Not to mention Mrs. Sip and I currently have a bird infestation on the balcony of our place. When we first moved in, a bird had made a nest on the ground of the balcony and we had a baby pigeon. Not realizing what a mess that would turn out to be, we named it Baby Buster and then ignored the problem for several months. Before we knew it, our balcony became a shelter for the stupid creatures who completely ignored the wooden owl that’s supposed to scare them away. And once again an owl has failed me.

Now, it looks like a war zone of bird crap out there. So much so, that we are afraid to open that sliding door, even on the hottest summer days, fearing that we could be breathing in toxins from these vermin. Stupid birds.

Even birds seem to hate other birds. They seem to fight more than warring homeless people.

And it’s not just real birds that piss me off. Animated ones draw my ire, too. Tweety: stupid and annoying. The Roadrunner: stupid and annoying. Woody Woodpecker: stupid and annoying. Sorry about that, the adjective generator in my brain was overloaded the other day and the repair guys are supposed to show up sometime between 9am and 5pm today.

To be fair, I respect the poke playing hawks in the new Old Spice deodorant commercial, but that’s only because I fear them as well. Ducks (Donald, Scrooge, Daffy) and penguins (Opus, Chilly Willy, Wheezy) get a pass because they entertain me. And surprisingly, I do love me some Angry Birds (there’s something so satisfying seeing birds get launched into objects and the resulting mass destruction!).

I cheer when Peter Griffin fights the giant angry chicken. I cry every time Tweety and The Roadrunner get the better of Sylvester J. Pussycat and Wile E. Coyote, respectively, and my blood pressure rises every time I’m woken up by the cooing of a filthy bird on my balcony.

In closing, I am taking steps forward in organizing the Anti-Bird Movement (apparently I’m not alone). Our offices will be located in the Swiss Alps, so high in altitude that birds cannot find us and therefore we need not worry about their poop, their weird birdy noises, or their ability to steal French fries. While this drink may have been enjoyable, I’m feel great shame and sadness every time I make a drink that is bird-related. On the plus side, once you slam this cocktail, that’s one less feathered fiend in existence.

Drink #99: Toucan

1 oz Malibu Rum
1 oz Peach Schnapps
Top with half Orange Juice and half Lemon-Lime Soda
Garnish with an Orange Slice covered in Coconut Shavings

Tomorrow marks our 100th post here at The Sip Advisor. I hope you’ll join us, as we look back at the first 100 days of this drinking challenge, through wild recipes, insane garnishes and wonderful time spent together.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I may be guilty of kind of screwing this one up. Despite using Orange Juice, I was surprised to see how clear the drink was. After photos and drinking, I realized that I forgot to shake the OJ and that was why it was so clear. It still tasted decent, so I guess the essence of Orange Juice is good for something.

April 5 – Pond Water

Posted on April 5, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Thoughts of Random

As I sipped this delicious cocktail, thoughts, ideas, and ponderings begin to pop into my head. It was as if this jungle juice was making my brain go into overdrive. Here’s what I was able to come up with, as I downed some Pond Water (which consequently doesn’t appear to be the colour of any pond water I’ve ever seen):

1) While in California a few weeks back, I overheard a Disneyland cast member say that while an entire area, dubbed Fantasy Faire, has been built to house all the Disney princesses, Tiana (from The Princess and the Frog) will remain in New Orleans Square… thus proving that segregation still exists in Disneyland?

Oh, so Beast is allowed to hang out with the princesses, but Tiana has to stay on the other side of the park!

2) Liquor stores should have wedding registries (just found out one of my favourite booze palaces actually offers this). This would have saved Mrs. Sip and myself a lot of time and aggravation. Can you imagine the fun your faithful Sip Advisor would have had going through the local liquor distributor and selecting items for guests to pick up? Hell, any item picked from there would be greeted with much happiness.

3) Why do jackasses at sports event try to be seen on TV? I don’t care that you’re there, and you probably won’t either once the $10 beer buzz wears off. Now sit your ass down and watch the game you paid hundreds of dollars to be at.

4) How can McDonalds call their burger Cheeseburger Deluxe when it doesn’t come with pickles? Seriously!?

5) Staying with Mickie D’s, it was very disappointing to finally order the 40-piece McNugget Meal and not get one box full of 40 nuggets (instead receiving four 10 McNugget boxes). At least they gave me ample sauces.

These tubs rule, but boys, you're looking a little light on the sauces!

These tubs absolutely rule, but fellas, you’re looking a little light on the sauces!

6) A friend recently wrote that putting out her recycling lets her neighbours know that she’s a functional alcoholic. Here’s my own experience in that realm: I was shopping at my local liquor emporium, pushing a buggy (hey, I’m a serious consumer) between the aisles and picking up a number of items. When I reached the checkout, the kind cashier asked, “Having a party?” “Nope,” I bluntly replied.

A couple days later I was taking a massive load of recycling to the bins in my building when I ran into a neighbor in the elevator. After scanning the contents of my recycle box, he asked, “You have a party?” “Nope,” I once again replied. Moral of the story: What is with these nosey people!?

7) I have some issues with the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air opening theme… why does Will have to take a cab to the Banks’ residence? Couldn’t they have sent a driver? It’s not like he was an uninvited guest who travelled from the other side of the country in hopes of crashing with them.

Sadly (or awesomely), this is the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night.

Drink #95: Pond Water

Rim glass with Orange Fun Dip
1.5 oz Raspberry Vodka
Splash Blue Raspberry Mixer
Splash Sweet & Sour Mix
Top with Orange Crush

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I don’t remember pond water ever being bright orange, but who cares when it gives you the chance to enjoy Orange Soda. A particular highlight of this martini was the Orange Fun Dip rim I gave it, which made every sip a complete pleasure.

April 1 – Pretty Vegas

Posted on April 1, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Souvenir Sipping

Las Vegas is filled with special souvenir glasses. Each resort seems to have their own offering, thanks to the special theming that goes into each place. Here are some we’ve seen while out and about on the strip!

Eiffel Tower/Hot Air Balloon – Paris

Some of the most elaborate souvenir glasses are sold at The Paris hotel, where you can get your favourite iced drink inside either a replica of the Eiffel Tower (or as some jackass cabbie in France insisted, “Tour Eiffel”… seriously, we told the driver we wanted to go to the Eiffel Tower four times and he kept “misunderstanding” us until we said Tour Eiffel… and Parisians wonder why everyone hates them!) or a ceramic hot air balloon that mimics the outside of the resort.

Guitar – Rockhouse

If you ever wanted to play Guitar Hero and get blitzed without having to put your instrument down, here’s your chance. These bad boys hold a fair bit of liquor (80 oz), too, so be prepared to rock all night long!

Football – Fremont Experience

Fans and even non-fans of pigskin can’t turn down a beer-filled football. I know I couldn’t. When you’re done the drink, you now have something to play with back in your hotel room… or you can turn Fremont Street into your own personal playing field. Touchdowns are scored by getting to the Golden Nugget end zone.

Tambourine – Rio

You can get either a Sex on the Beach or a Margarita in one of these glasses that also doubles as an instrument. Mrs. Sip, myself and Broski Sip grabbed a pair of these before hopping into a limo and cruising up and down the strip getting wasted. When our limo tour was finally over, we all had to hit the washroom so bad that taking a photo outside the vehicle shows a three-person pee-pee dance. Add to that, Mrs. Sip suffering food poisoning later that night (not to do with the drink) and now she can’t enjoy Margaritas in the same way.

Bong – Numb at Caesar’s Palace

I haven’t had a chance to see this glass in person, but I’ve seen pictures. Quite frankly, it looks like something Tommy Chong was arrested for selling. The curious cat in me wonders if it can actually be used as a smoking device afterwards. After all, can’t stoners turn absolutely anything into a bong?

Toilet – Rock & Rita’s at Circus Circus

Have you ever wanted to experience the joys of a dog’s life? Here’s your chance to do it in a mostly hygienic manner by drinking out of this toilet souvenir glass. This doesn’t mean you’ll gain the ability to lick yourself in the naughty region (well, give it a shot anyway), but you will suddenly gain an appreciation for having your ear scratched.

Skull – Teasure Island

I used to have a skeleton mug that we’d leave out for Santa Claus every Christmas morning. It seems kind of morbid now, but when I was a kid, I insisted on it. Maybe jolly ol’ Saint Nick would prefer if that mug was filled with beer. I know I would and therefore I plan on tracking down this glass as a sacrifice for the ghost of Christmas future.

Big Kahuna Fish Bowl – Kahunaville at Treasure Island

Granted fish bowls aren’t really anything new to the drinking world, but combine the massive goblet you’re given here with the beakers of liquor that you can choose to add to the mix whenever you feel and you have quite the winning combo. You can even buy extra beakers and make the drink look like a test subject.

Boot – Coyote Ugly at New York, New York

We’ve all heard stories of the infamous German boot glass. Well, the Coyote Ugly Saloon has taken that success and created the cowboy boot glass. There’s actually a normal glass shape inside the boot, so drinkers won’t have to deal with the air pocket that sometimes accumulates when chugging from the German boot, although that’s all part of the fun. You know, I never understood the name of this bar… I think Wile E. Coyote is quite fetching!

Drink #91: Pretty Vegas

0.5 oz Blue Curacao
0.5 oz Melon Liqueur
0.5 oz Peach Schnapps
Top with Cranberry Juice
Splash of Lemon Juice
Garnish with a Cocktail Umbrella

Layer each of the ingredients in their order about on top of each other in an ice-filled glass. There are many other specialty glasses out there in Sin City (Pineapples at Cheeseburger in Paradise, Statue of Liberty at New York, New York, etc.)… if only you had the time, liver and the money to collect them all!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
Layering the ingredients of this drink actually worked out reasonably well. The only issue was the clear Peach Schnapps melding together with the light-coloured Lemon Juice. Other than that, all the ingredients behaved themselves and kept their distance. The overall taste was good, as well.

March 27 – Loopberry Splash

Posted on March 27, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

You Will Get Wet

I usually try to theme each day’s post in relation to the featured drink. Today’s subject may be a bit of a stretch, but given the word “loop” and “splash” are there, I wanted to discuss my favourite amusement park rides from around the world. So, let’s secure our personal belongings in the seat front pouch and hold on for dear life!

Crush’s Coaster – Disneyland: Paris

When you combine a kid’s movie with a turbulent rollercoaster, you satisfy all of my needs! This attraction takes guests through the East Australian Current, riding on Crush the surfing turtle’s shell. What starts out as a normal coaster turns (literally) into a very memorable one, when your vehicle begins spinning with the gravity and speed created by the ride track, at one point going into a dark room that gives space mountain a run for its money. Mrs. Sip and I are continually surprised the ride hasn’t been picked up by any of the other Disney parks.

The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man – Universal Studios: Islands of Adventure

This is one of those classic 3-D movie attractions, but with the twist that you move from scene-to-scene in your ride vehicle. You speed, web sling, and plunge through the streets of New York, watching Spidey battle the Sinister Syndicate. Spider-Man rules, so this attraction gets bonus points on that fact alone.

Riddler’s Revenge – Six Flags

I’m not sure why so many attractions are trying to gain revenge on their riders (Montezuma’s Revenge also comes to mind), but this stand-up coaster is a wonderful salute to the Batman franchise and the insanity of Edward Nigma. Highlights of the actions include the pumping techno soundtrack and the vertical loops that wraps around the launch lift.

Jurassic Park – Universal Studios: Hollywood

I never really got the obsession with Jurassic Park until I rode this water ride. Everything starts off all nice and normal as you take a relaxing trip through pens belonging to many herbivore dinos. That all takes a drastic twist when your boat goes off course and you enter raptor cages, with the looming threat of an accidentally released T-Rex. Before you know it, the only route to safety is a dramatic plunge into the cold waters below.

The Four Mountains – Disney Parks

Splash Mountain, Space Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain, and Matterhorn Mountain are some of the original amazing E-ticket attractions to exist and are must hit rides for any visit to the Disney Parks that house them. Without these tracks, so many other advancements in theme park technology would not have been possible.

Ghost Rider – Knott’s Berry Farm

When they warn you not to go on rides if you have back or neck problems, they were probably thinking of this attraction. It’s a classic wooden rollercoaster that spans the parks and even crosses over into the parking lot. The wildest part about it is that you’re constantly ducking your head, thinking that it’s going to get sliced off by the beams above.

Toy Story Mania – Disneyland: California Adventure

The rapid advancements in ride technology are amazing. This attraction brings out the competitive spirit in riders as you compete with your mate and all other guests, in fact, to record the highest score possible. Throw on some 3-D glasses, and shoot at as many targets as possible on the screen in front of you before moving on to the next Midway challenge. Each ride experience is different, providing you don’t mind waiting 40 minutes to an hour in line for this popular attraction!

Valhalla – Blackpool Pleasure Beach

I refuse to buy ponchos for water rides… that totally defeats the purpose. But in this case, as we watched ride attendants vacuum water out of each boat that arrived at the loading zone, we were happy we’d taken the advice to grab a couple. I’ve never been so drenched, in my life… even with the damn poncho. Had it not been a dreary English spring day, we would have rode the ride – which featured a ton of special effects, as well as going backwards in a log flume – again, but as it was, we were already chilled to the bone.

Hollywood Rip, Ride, Rockit – Universal Studios: Florida

Rides that have their own soundtrack are amazing… but how about a ride where you get to pick the song of your choice, which is perfectly edited for the duration of the track. You can pick from rock, rap, country, dance and just about everything else. There are even hidden songs that you can access. That will keep the guests coming back for more, looking for the perfect jam to their experience.

Drink #86: Loopberry Splash

1.5 oz Three Olives Loopy Vodka
Top with half Cranberry Juice and half Ginger Ale
Garnish with Lemon Wedge

While there are many theme parks we have yet to visit, this is a list of some of our favourites thus far. Sadly, I had to leave so many rides I love with all my being off this list. Hopefully I can squeeze them into a future post.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
The final drink in my trilogy of Loopy Vodka recipes was pretty decent. The mix of half Cranberry Juice and half Ginger Ale was good and worked well with the spirit. I should have done more with the garnish, but I guess I got a little lazy.

March 25 – Babbling Brook

Posted on March 25, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Sweet Serenity

Today’s drink had me turn my mind towards serenity. For me, total relaxation can be best achieved with a cocktail in hand, laying on a pool float, the sun beaming down upon me, and the sounds of rock n’ roll filling the air. If the pool was surrounded by naked ladies, well, that would be nirvana. I’ll settle for serenity, though.

Yeah, this is pretty close!

Sure there are other methods to achieving peace within oneself. For example, those CD’s (can you remember compact discs!? They’re only about $5 each in stores nowadays… at least they can double for cheap Frisbees) filled with relaxing, tranquil sounds: ocean waves, babbling brooks, gentle rain, sounds of nature, etc.

Then there’s meditation and yoga. I get that yoga can be a good stretching tool and can help with relaxation, but anyone who thinks yoga is exercise is probably a yoga instructor or form of yoga. I did yoga once and was pretty bored. Perhaps it’s because I hadn’t started drinking yet. I was also waiting for someone to let a fart slip out and when nobody did, the comedy element to the whole thing was missing. Don’t even get me started on hot yoga. If I wanted to sweat, I’d eat a pile of meat and go for a jog. Man that would smell gross.

Speaking of jogging, going for a nice long walk can often clear the mind. This is about half true in my neighbourhood, where you always have to be on a vigil lookout for dog poop, homeless people, idiot’s texting and walking, idiot’s texting and driving, and so many other pedestrian obstacles. Maybe if you live out in the burbs this will work better, but not so much for us city folk.

Mrs. Sip likes to read to relax. She says it allows her to escape into a fantasy world, to which I often reply (with very little success) that I have a few fantasies that we could venture into together. She just doesn’t understand that guys have needs like someone baking chocolate chip cookies for them while they watch Saturday morning cartoons and take frequent cat naps.

I wish this was part of Mrs. Sip’s fantasy collection…

Personally, I think we have to look to our pets for good relaxation techniques. Cats sleep like 30 hours each day. When they’re not passed out, taking up half the couch, despite their tiny frames, they’re usually snuggling up to someone and trying to get a good spot for their next snooze. And we think we’re their master…

In closing, use whatever you think works for you: a cup of hot tea, a trip to the spa, a quiet night in, a bubble bath (the Sip Advisor looks really good all sudsy)… you get the drift. Namaste!

Drink #84: Babbling Brook

1.5 oz Raspberry Vodka (I used Absolut)
0.5 oz Blue Curacao
Top with Sour Mix
Garnish with a Lemon Wedge

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I liked this cocktail with its sweet and sour taste. The colour of the drink was really neat and I enjoyed the foamy effect produced when shaking the mix.

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

Category Archives: Martini Recipes