April 12 – Drunken Bunny

Posted on April 19, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Bunny Style

It’s the season of the bunny… which means copious amounts of sex, right? Hmmm, apparently it just means lots of chocolate, jelly beans and other candy… I’ll take it! Here are the top five hippity hoppities (a colloquial term for rabbits):

#5: Br’er Rabbit – Song of the South

Ol’ Br’er Rabbit is always getting himself into trouble, which means the Sip Advisor has to bail him out and end up plummeting into the Splash Mountain briar patch, resulting in getting soaked. You know, sometimes I want to see Br’er Bear and Br’er Fox get their hands on the damn rabbit and tear him limb from limb. Together, we could celebrate with a jug of moonshine, some rabbit stew, and a barbecue cookout with all the trimmings. We could even watch Song of the South, providing we can find a copy of the banned film.

Why does Br’er Rabbit look happy to be thrown off a cliff into a briar patch!?

#4: Roger Rabbit – Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

You have to give a ton of respect to anyone (and I mean ANYONE) who can land the vivacious Jessica Rabbit. Sure, all Roger wants to do is play pattycake with her and that’s why I invented a sexual maneuver with the same moniker. Back to Double-R, I wonder if they’ll ever get around to doing the long-rumoured sequel to Who Framed Roger Rabbit? It’s taken more than two decades to sort things out, but producers don’t seem any closer to working on the prequel project that would apparently see Roger in his earlier days.

#3: Greg – Greg the Bunny

This adorable Fabricated-American isn’t just cute and cuddly… he’s naïve and innocent to boot. By chance, Greg joined the cast of Sweetknuckle Junction (inadvertently replacing his idol Rochester Rabbit), a children’s show akin to Sesame Street. The difference being that off-screen, his fellow puppets Warren the Ape, Count Blah, and others have a bad side that includes sex, drugs, and alcohol – sounds like fun, don’t it! Greg has to work hard to keep up with his cast mates, all while living the life of a second-class citizen among all the humanoids.

A meal with Gilbert Gottfried… Fabricated-Americans get all the lucky breaks!

#2: Babs and Buster Bunny – Tiny Toon Adventures

Babs and Buster, no relation, are a mischievous duo that head the crop of Acme Looniversity students and are looking to be the next generation of cartoon stars, following in the footsteps of the fabulous Looney Tunes gang. With school principal Bugs Bunny acting as their mentor, the two are the heir apparent to the Looney Tunes throne. Buster is Bugs’ intelligent, calculating side, while Babs represents Bugs’ manic, wild side. The couple comes together for a perfect mixture of mayhem. And I can’t be the only one who found Babs kind of attractive with her spunky attitude and sweetness. I mean, at least if you’re into animated femme fatales.

#1: Bugs Bunny – Looney Tunes

There’s no other way to say it: Bugs Bunny is an icon! His feuds with Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd, Yosemite Sam, and so many others are legendary. The great thing about Bugs is that he’s not impervious to his own battles and doesn’t always end up on the winning side. Surprisingly, the creators of the character didn’t think it would be the smash Bugs ended up being. Bugs has entertained his way to being a symbol for the entire Warner Bros. company (well, him and that damn singing frog!) and is still used in numerous media today.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Drunken Bunny

0.5 oz Orange Rum
0.5 oz Blue Curacao
0.5 oz Melon Liqueur
Top with Whip Cream
Garnish with Mini Eggs Bits

I have to give out some kudos to some bunnies that are best associated with company logos and mascots. This would include the Playboy Bunny (logo or girls, they’re all good), the Cadbury Bunny (I love me some crème and mini eggs), and the Energizer Bunny (we all wish we had its stamina). Which rabbit would you have liked to see shoehorned into this list? Happy Easter y’all!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This is actually a cocktail recipe that I’ve adapted into a shooter, which I seem to have to do a lot around here! The liquid is delicious, although I had to combine White Rum and Grand Marnier to achieve the desired Orange Rum. The Mini Eggs Bits at the end of the drink were a very nice touch and were easy to crush up for the shooter.

April 12 – Canuck-tini

Posted on April 12, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Rebuild Realization

As the NHL season winds to a close and the playoffs are set to begin, the Sip Advisor’s team, the Vancouver Canucks only have a spring of golf tee times to look forward to. This rare occurrence over the last decade is the culmination of the squad unraveling since their 2011 Stanley Cup Final appearance, thanks to a few highly-publicized misfires. Please forgive me a moment to regionalize my work for this site, as here are the top five reasons the Canucks are in need of a reboot:

#5: Trading for Derek Roy

While some trade deadline rental deals work out and the player sticks with the team for a few seasons (ie. Chris Higgins and Max Lapierre in 2011), trading for Derek Roy from the Dallas Stars in 2013 completely blew up in the Canucks collective face. Roy never seemed to click with his Vancouver teammates and signed with St. Louis in the off-season. Worst of all, the ‘Nucks gave up some of their future in the deal, trading away defensive prospect Kevin Connauton and a second round draft pick, which was used to select goaltender Philippe Desrosiers. Only time will tell if that comes back to bite Vancouver in the butt later.

#4: Trading for David Booth

A former 30-goal scorer with the Florida Panthers, Booth has scored a combined total of 26 tallies in his nearly three seasons with the Canucks. While Vancouver only gave up a couple of players (Mikael Samuelsson and Marco Sturm) who didn’t seem to fit with the club going forward, Booth has never been able to live up to the expectations fans first hoped for when he came to the Canucks and has found himself frequently on the injured reserve list. Booth is certainly a buyout candidate this summer, despite his strong play to end the campaign, with one season remaining on his six-year, $25.5 million contract.

#3: Trading for Keith Ballard

Looking to beef up their options on puck-moving defensemen, the Canucks traded for Keith Ballard, of the Florida Panthers, at the 2010 NHL Draft. To land the rearguard, Vancouver gave up former first round draft choice Michael Grabner, Steve Bernier, and their opening pick of that draft, which turned out to be Quinton Howden. Grabner flourished with the New York Islanders, scoring 34 goals in his rookie season after being waived by the Panthers. Bernier is a regular with the New Jersey Devils, while Howden is now cracking the Florida line-up. Ballard was bought out in the 2013 off-season after a couple seasons of ineffectiveness and time spent in the press box.

#2: Trading Cody Hodgson

Hodgson apparently wanted out of Vancouver, but trading him away depleted a strong center ice core. With Ryan Kesler likely on his way out of town, Hodgson could have seamlessly slotted into the second-line center role that would have opened up. Getting Zack Kassian in the deal was a decent return, but he has yet to realize his full potential. Some have argued, however, that he hasn’t been given a fair chance to succeed under the current coaching regime. Hodgson, meanwhile, has put up 85 points for the Buffalo Sabres since the swap, leaving Vancouver (Kassian has 41 points in the same time) without the greatest prospect they’ve had in years.

#1: Trading Cory Schneider/Roberto Luongo

This whole fiasco lost the Canucks not only their number one netminder, but also the goalie of their future. When the team moved on from Luongo during the 2012 playoffs, I knew he was done with the squad… yet the saga lasted until March 2014 and by that time, Schneider had already been dealt. Now, the Canucks are left with two young, inexperienced and unproven tenders in Eddie Lack and Jacob Markstrom, while their once solid tandem wins games for other franchises. That puts a lot of pressure on the shoulders of Bo Horvat (drafted with the pick exchanged for Schneider) and Shawn Matthias (the other part of the Luongo deal, along with Markstrom).

Super Saturday Shot Day: Canuck-tini

0.5 oz Raspberry Vodka
0.5 oz Blue Curacao
Dash of Honey
Garnish with Mint Leaves

Hopefully, the Canucks can clean things up a little at this year’s draft and through free agency. Picking up a free agent goalie and trading Ryan Kesler (I hate to see him go, but he clearly wants out) for a package of assets could get this reboot off the ground quickly. I can’t help but notice that the Florida Panthers have played a great role in Vancouver’s misery and demise. That said, Florida can also be credited with the Canucks’ last ascension, when Roberto Luongo was plucked from the Southeast Division in 2006.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
After a year like the one Canucks fans just endured, downing copious amounts of alcohol is in short order. Will this shot do the trick? Well, it can’t hurt! This martini recipe comes from the Fairmont Waterfront Hotel in Vancouver and I’ve taken the liberty of converting it into a shooter. It was okay and probably makes a better martini, to be honest. You mostly taste the Blue Curacao, with a hint of the Raspberry Vodka. Much like the Canucks 2013-14 season… it’s disappointing!

China – China Blue

Posted on March 31, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Great Walls of Fire

The Great Wall of China was erected (that word always makes me giggle) over a number of eras and decades and is one of the most impressive engineering feats in history. Since its construction, it has become a world famous monument and used for countless other achievements. Here are some of its notable uses and appearances:

Big Air

There have been a number of attempts by bikers, skateboarders, and the like to jump the Great Wall. Extreme athlete Travis Pistrana even tackled the challenge on a toy bike. Sadly, not every attempt has been successful. Two Chinese BMX riders were looking to fly over the wall to celebrate a national holiday. One landed safely in the area set up to catch the falling stuntmen, but the other flew right over it to his death. So much for home field advantage!

Go Your Own Way

While jumping the Great Wall is a dream for some, that vision wasn’t held by cyclist Kevin Foster. Instead, Foster wanted to travel a fair chunk of the world heritage site. In 50 days, Foster trekked 1,174.8 miles of the wall, through sandstorms, hail, monsoons, high temperatures, and even a crash that sent him through a portion of the structure and caused three broken ribs. The journey was called “the last, greatest, cycling adventure on the face of the earth.”

Running with the Wall

Most little sippers, like the Sip Advisor, probably don’t follow the sport of free running. It’s basically akin to parkour, but involves more theatrics… wait, there can be even more acrobatics thrown in? World renowned free runner (you can be renowned in this field?), Ryan Doyle put the Great Wall in its place as part of his Red Bull World Wonders Tour. Remember, Red Bull: It gives you wings… and hopefully not because you’re dead and on your way to the afterlife.

Super Repairs

In perhaps one of the cheesiest special effects of all-time, Superman used laser vision to repair the Great Wall after it had been damaged by the equally cheesy villain, Nuclear Man (before The Simpsons Radioactive Man). This all came about in Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, which effectively killed the movie franchise. I’ve never been a Superman fan, but I have to give him credit for fixing a landmark I have yet to see.

Building the Wall

In 2005, a number of acts gathered for a concert using the Great Wall setting as a backdrop. Headlined by Boyz II Men, other performers included Cyndi Lauper and Alicia Keys. The show was recorded for a DVD release, The Great Wall Concert (I’m blown away they couldn’t come up with a more glitzy name than that), and also included interviews with historians, visits to other Chinese landmarks, and comedy performances on the streets of Beijing.

Abracadabra

There has been some amazing feats performed in the world of magic and David Copperfield’s act of walking through the Great Wall has to be among them. What else would you expect from the same man who has levitated above the Grand Canyon, made the Statue of Liberty disappear, and wed Claudia Schiffer!? For this illusion, Copperfield used a sheet and his faithful assistant to appear to go through the legendary wall… his secret is safe with me!

Rope Tricks

Chinese acrobat Adili Wuxor (dubbed the ‘Prince of Tightrope Walking’) and his apprentice Yakup Jang performed a tightrope walk of 1,100 feet from one point of the Great Wall to another in 2013. It’s estimated that the duo was 328-feet above the ground at the highest point. If that wasn’t enough, the stuntmen performed some theatrics during the 40-minute crossing, including sitting on the rope, balancing on one foot, dancing, and even going blindfolded.

The Wall is Not Enough

While it has yet to happen in a Bond film, it has long been rumoured and researched to film a motorcycle chase scene at the Great Wall for the long running franchise. First dreamt up for the 1989 License to Kill, negotiations with the Chinese government hit a snag when the politicians asked for power over the script. The most recent 007 saga, Skyfall, was to include the fabled act, but plans changed and although Bond travels to China, the Great Wall was not used.

China: China Blue

2 oz Chu Yeh Ching Chiew
0.5 oz Blue Curacao
Top with Lychee Juice and Grapefruit Juice
Garnish with Lemon and Lime Wheels

I’m proud of all you little sippers for traversing the Great Wall with me and not needing to be carried by bodyguards like that twerp (nee douche bag) Justin Bieber. Now that was an amazing feat… of stupidity!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Some say Chu Yeh Ching Chiew is similar to wine, others to gin, and some classify it as closer to vodka. One site calls it Chinese Bamboo Leaf Vodka and that’s good enough for me! What really matters is that it’s believed to cure hangovers… well, at least for you hangover prone little sippers out there. As for this cocktail, it’s not bad. The flavour is indescribable thanks to the mix of Chu Yeh Ching Chiew and Lychee Juice; two flavours I don’t know very well. It could use some fizz, however.

February 8 – Cryonic Shock

Posted on February 8, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Science Fact

There are some crazy ideas out there in sci-fi land. Some are so far-fetched that only the imagination could ever dream them up. Regardless of their practical application, here are the top five items I wish actually existed:

#5: Teleporters

How great would it be to instantly zap yourself from work to home, avoiding a tiresome and frustrating commute? How about being able to travel around the world in a flash… and not have to be a mutant to do so? Hell, even Urkel had one of these bad boys! I think the best use of a teleporter would be to pop in and out of people’s room, Monsters Inc.-style and scare the bejesus out of unsuspecting folk. Paranormal Sip Activity, yo!

#4: Cryonics

Let me set this up for you with a scenario we’ve all had loom before us in our future. Your significant other wants you to attend some show you have absolutely no interest in. And hey, this door swings both ways. While I’ve been dragged to plays and musicals before, I’ve also done the dragging, taking Mrs. Sip to the odd wrestling show or football game. The solution? Freeze yourself right through to the day following the event you need to avoid and voila, you’re safe and sound!

#3: Space Vehicles

Ranging from hovercrafts to light speed travel pods, I can’t wait for the days when traffic not only doesn’t limit me, but can no longer get me killed. I’d like to think of myself as a good driver, but there are so many bad ones out there. How nice would it be to leave out all the guesswork and even the playing field. Or, better yet, be able to take to the skies and zoom past the horrible motorists… although air transportation would surely provide its own slate of concerns.

#2: Death Rays

I wouldn’t say that I’m a violent person, but put one of these babies in my hands and goodbye homeless population! What’s that? You want my hard earned money so you can waste it on booze… wait, I’m all for that noble cause and that is where the cash is going anyway… where was I, oh right, ZAP! Goodbye panhandler, my money is mine to waste on jelly beans and race horses.

#1: Robots

Providing they don’t rise up and try to take over the world, having robots at our beck and call to do every single daunting task we don’t want to do would be amazing. We’re getting there, what with our Roomba vacuums and assembly lines. Best of all, you could have your pick of famous robots from Rosie of The Jetson’s fame to Bender Rodriguez from Futurama. I’d probably settle on Short Circuit’s Johnny-5 thanks to his mix of heart, intelligence, humour, and love of Steve Guttenberg.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Cryonic Shock

Rim glass with Sugar
0.5 oz Blue Curacao
0.5 oz Ouzo
0.25 Brandy
0.25 White Rum
Splash Sweet & Sour Mix

Which science fiction creations would you love to see in the real world? How would you best use them to your advantage? What do you hope never sees the light of day? I eagerly await your thought-provoking responses!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I adapted the cocktail version of this recipe to turn it into a shooter. Despite the wide array of ingredients, I liked this shot. You never know how the licorice-flavoured spirits will behave when combined with other ingredients, but in this case, I feel the Ouzo enhanced the shot, rather than making it suffer as a result of its inclusion. The Sugar Rim, which I created with candy powder was also a nice sour bonus to go along with the sweet liquid.

December 23 – Silent Night

Posted on December 23, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Family Photo Album

The Family Sip never really did the Christmas family photo thing, but for some, it’s an annual tradition. And it really shouldn’t be, given how awful most of them turn out. I ask that all you little sippers proceed with caution through this list. The ugly mugs are bad enough and now you also have to deal with some truly deranged people. Enjoy!

Am I the only one a little horrified that this guy seems so delighted to be wearing a diaper!? I got a 20-spot on the dad wetting himself before the child… otherwise it’s a wasted diaper which are clogging up our landfills. The look on the kid’s face really tells the story here. I call it the ‘scarred for life’ pose and the youngster is pulling it off to perfection.

It looks like they’re trying to recreate the Human Centipede movies and daddy is going to smack mommy’s backside red! You only hope this photo was later used in court documents… I just can’t decide which one of the family members would be first to sue for divorce, the kids or the mother. I hope Mrs. Sip is in for some reindeer games this holiday season!

Someone really didn’t want to take part in the annual family photo and I don’t really blame him. No, it seems Eric Forman here wanted nothing to do with this photo shoot. He was probably pulling his ‘rebel with a Christmas cause’ act because his big bro is so into the project. That’s because he knew he was rockin’ his new goatee and he wanted to memorialize the look for prosperity.

It looks like dad didn’t get the memo on what to wear for the family Christmas photo. Perhaps he was just recently released from prison and didn’t have time to purchase a new wardrobe. The scary part is that if these girls are comfortable with how their father is portraying himself in this photo, that means he dresses this way around the house all the time… and that’s not cool.

I’m surprised the setting for this isn’t a trailer. This seems like the wrong message to be sending to your kids… you should never have them suffer through family Christmas photos. Oh, and the smoking thing is pretty weird! I wonder if they also received an ashtray in each of their stockings? Then again, trailers don’t have chimneys for said stockings to be hung!

Drink #357: Silent Night

1 oz Tequila (I used El Jimador)
1 oz Blue Curacao
1 oz Triple Sec
Top with Pineapple Juice
Splash of Lime Juice
Garnish with Lime Wedges

Do you have a favourite family Christmas photo that I haven’t covered or have a hilarious caption to one of these gems that you just must share. Let’s turn this Silent Night into an uproarious occasion of laughter and joy!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
A couple quick notes about alterations I made from the original recipe listed above. I completely removed the Triple Sec as Blue Curacao is basically the same ingredient, only blue and I swapped Pineapple Juice out for Pineapple Soda because I wanted some fizz with this drink and also wanted a clearer liquid than Pineapple Juice offers. The result wasn’t too bad, but I’m still not a huge Pineapple liquid fan, despite loving Hawaiian pizza.

December 10 – Snowflaketini

Posted on December 10, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Toying Around

I remember when I was just a little sipper and the annual Christmas catalogues would arrive. It was always fun to flip through this massive book, skipping through the housewares and appliances sections until you landed on the Holy Grail… the toy section. Well, catalogues are out and the internet is in. Toys ‘R’ Us has put together a list of 15 of the most popular toys for Christmas 2013… and I’ve put together a list of my opinions on them!

Crazy Cart

Oh sweet Jesus, we thank you for having been born on this day, so that I might get blitzed and ride on this Crazy Cart with my little buddy, Furious B! This thing looks absolutely amazing. Even the kid riding it knows it’s pretty awesome. What a way for kids to finally get some fresh air. Granted, they won’t really be exercising and you know in due time the Crazy Cart will be banned be some parent advisory committee. Enjoy the ride while it lasts!

Sofia the First: Royal Talking Vanity

So, basically we’ll be teaching girls at the earliest of ages to waste everyone’s time as they spend countless hours putting on make-up. This will spawn a whole new generation of frustrated men, pleading with their daughter/sister/girlfriend/wife to wrap things up because they’re already late. I certainly won’t be picking up an item like this for my future little sippers, as Mrs. Sip is bad enough and any progeny she passes her DNA down to will certainly have a built-in lateness gene.

Big Hugs Elmo

How does this character keep getting work!? I long for the day when we hear about Elmo living on the streets, his fortune spent and life ruined. Even after his handler was booted from Sesame Street amid sex allegations, Elmo is still flying high… that stupid coked out Muppet. How can anyone respect a being that’s been three-and-a-half years old since the 1970’s!? The little monster is clearly lying about its age and sending a bad message to youngsters everywhere.

Lego: Legends of Chima – The Lion CHI Temple

I’m so thankful that people still play with Lego. I loved this stuff growing up and spent countless hours building and imagining. I can’t wait for the day when my little sippers are old enough not to choke on the little hazards (all evidence says they’ll have to be 18+… although they’ll hopefully be more intelligent than dear old dad) and I’m able to buy them Lego sets. They might not care much for them, but I’ll at least be able to play with Lego again and have it be somewhat justifiable.

Doc McStuffins: Deluxe Get Better Check-Up Center

Doc McStuffins??? Seriously!? If that doesn’t say porn star name, I don’t know what does! Heck, the whole thing says fantasy role play. It all starts with a temperature check with a certain thermometer and away we go. They should have rebranded this item and had the 50 Shades of Grey folks endorse it. They’d make more money marketing the item to lonely housewives than they would getting kids to buy in… especially if Oprah lent her name to the product, too!

Tabeo E2 / LeapPad Ultra

Well, it was bound to happen that kids would have their own tablet-like devices… I’m only surprised it took so long. And maybe it didn’t. Don’t know, don’t care. Where was I? My drinker’s brain is acting up again. Anyhoo, now your child can be as neglectful and distracted as some parents are. And then they can participate in distracted tricycling… that is, if they ever leave the house and do any physical activity… hand exercise playing video games doesn’t count.

Drink #344: Snowflaketini

Rim glass with Coconut Shavings
1.5 oz Blue Curacao
1 oz Candy Cane Vodka
Splash of White Cranberry Juice
1 Lemon Wedge

Which top toys for 2013 have caught your eye? Do you have a story from your own catalogue hunting days? Perhaps you just want to track me down and throw a Big Hugs Elmo at me to release your pent-up anger. It’s all cool… just leave a message after the beep!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This drink looks cool with the Coconut Shavings acting as ice and tastes great. Despite my apprehension towards the Candy Cane Vodka, everything came together really well. Peppermint plays nicely with the Curacao, Cranberry Juice, and Lemon and makes for a very unique cocktail.

November 13 – Warp Pipe

Posted on November 13, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Game Genie

Today we continue our look into the Sip Advisor’s favourite vidya games. This isn’t an article about the greatest games of all-time, just my top picks from childhood to adulthood, where that inner-child just never really went away. I’m not a massive video game guy, but I’ve always played this or that along the way!

Super Mario Bros.

This is one of the games that really boosted the video game industry and made Nintendo a household name. I’d say my favourite Mario game was Super Mario World (SNES), but I have also enjoyed all the original NES titles, as well as releases for Gameboy, N64, and Wii. The Wii version was great because you could play along with your friends all at the same time, although it usually ended up with us “accidentally” killing each other. One thing is certain: the games were far superior to the ill-advised movie!

Wrestling Games

As I’ve admitted before, I was a huge wrestling fan in my pre-teen and teenage years. Some of the best wrestling classics came out during this period, especially the games made by THQ in the late 90’s/early 2000’s. The company had the WCW license first and then switched over to WWE, putting out one amazing offering after another. My friends and I spent countless hours fighting our issues out in battle royals. The best part was, if you were eliminated, you had another chance with the next entering character.

GoldenEye 007

Similar to the wrestling games, thousands of hours were wasted maiming each other in this N64 classic. Even those who weren’t gamers in the slightest knew about GoldenEye and had probably played at some point. While the single player missions were spectacular, the multiplayer killfests were even better. Our group would play where any damage killed you and would alternate between remote mines and rocket launchers being the feature weapon.

Plants vs. Zombies

While I’m not the biggest fan of tower defense games, this entry, which has you defending your home against an invading horde of zombies, using plants with their own special powers is a total delight. A sequel has been released, but as of yet, it’s only available to losers with iPhones (sorry, I’m a little bitter it’s not available on computers like the original or even for Android users… that misses a lot of the market). I’m sure it will eventually be in my possession, but the waiting is the hardest part (thanks, Tom Petty!).

Donkey Kong Country

Oh man, I love these games so much, particularly the Super Nintendo trilogy. The re-launch of the series on the Wii was also a spectacular offering for the eyes and the ears (the fingers not so much, as they had to do all the work!). The thing that’s so amazing about these games is that they’re so visually beautiful with rich colours and the music is fantastic. Combine that with smooth gameplay and wonderful level layouts and this is one of the best 2-D side-scrollers to ever exist.

Rollercoaster Tycoon

I love amusement parks and all the rides they contain. Therefore, when these games were released, I was an early adopter. It was so much fun to build your own parks and achieve whatever tasks were outlined. I didn’t play around too much with rollercoaster design except to launch unsuspecting riders off of a dangerously built ride and send them flying through the air to a fiery death!

Tetris

There’s just something about Tetris that is so addicting. I especially enjoyed the N64 edition (The New Tetris), which Broski Sip, Cousin Sip, and I used to play a lot, challenging each other to see who could last the longest without dying. The more lines you made, the faster you were able to build the world’s greatest landmarks. Much like Donkey Kong Country, the music in this franchise has always been top notch and keeps you wanting to play the game.

Drink #317: Warp Pipe

0.75 oz Blue Curacao
0.5 oz Melon Liqueur
Top with Mike’s Hard Limeade
Garnish with Lime Wedges

That wraps up our look at my favourite video games of all-time. What are some of your favourite electronic pastimes? Perhaps you’ll steer me towards a new addiction, you pusher!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
Once again, we go to The Drunken Moogle for this recipe, as they seem to have the market cornered on awesome video game-themed drinks. I used the split-sized glasses to help accentuate that image of the pipes in Super Mario Bros. This backfired on me a little when I went to split them up for Mrs. Sip and myself and she decided to nap instead, leaving me with two cocktails to down. Luckily, they were pretty light and tasty and I enjoyed the double treat!

November 2 – Porn Star

Posted on November 2, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Curiousity Killed the Pervert

I’m a curious person and as a curious person, I do a lot of thinking. In line with today’s shot, these are questions I have come up with for the porn industry!:

Good lord, Mrs. Sip would be Seductive Teaser… how incredibly accurate!

1) Can you do a threesome in the shower?

I just think that the risk-reward quotient and the dangers of tub slippage would prevent such scenarios. Heck, most showers don’t even fit TWO people comfortably, let alone three and you have to imagine that producers are searching for the cheapest option possible, which precludes mansions and their expansive bathing spaces.

2) Do porn stars get danger pay?

On the subject of dangerous situations, I wonder if performers receive some sort of additional pay in line with the added risks they take on a daily basis. For example, the larger the object used, the grungier the location filmed in… how about the more the merrier with each person added to a scene? The cash could add up pretty quickly if this is the case.

3) Are tramp stamps industry identification tags?

It seems like you can’t get through a single scene without seeing at least one tramp stamp… multiple lower back tattoos if you’ve picked a really good movie! Is this like how puppies and kitties get tattooed on the inside of their ear in case they go missing? Can stars be tracked for research purposes and have their stats recorded for prosperity?

4) Will their every be a porno filmed in anti-gravity?

I’m not sure how much money has to be shelled out for someone to rent out an anti-gravity simulator, but you have to think that any erotic movie filmed in a setting like this would make that money back in spades. Thinking of this scenario has got a million procedural questions circling in my mind, but perhaps I should stop while I’m ahead, as thus far, I’ve been able to write an entire post about adult films and not delve into too controversial territory.

Drink #306: Porn Star

0.75 oz Blue Curacao
0.75 oz Raspberry Vodka/Liqueur
Dash of Milk
Garnish with Maraschino Cherry

I gotta say that the research for this post was probably the most fun I’ve had to do for this site. Do you have any questions you’d like me to forward to the adult industry?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This classic shot recipe had to be done at some point in this project. Most recipes don’t include the dash of Milk, but I thought that was a hilarious addition to the shooter. It was my choice to garnish the shot with a Maraschino Cherry and I’ll let your imaginations figure that one out. I can’t say a bad thing about the liquors used in this shooter and everything comes together in a nice, neat package (get it!).

October 26 – Bazooka Joe

Posted on October 26, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Tales from the Candy-keeper

There are numerous urban legends based on candy. Here are some of the juicier tales out there:

Recharge on Mars

Rockers sure know how to party. That’s why this legend involving Rolling Stones front man Mick Jagger, singer Marianne Faithfull, and a Mars chocolate bar persisted for so long. When a party at guitarist Keith Richards’ home was broken up by police, rumours began flying that Jagger was interrupted while eating a Mars bar that was inside Ms. Faithfull (I’ll let your imaginations put that one together). The story was entirely untrue, but I bet Mars bar sales skyrocketed, with deprived lovers looking to spice up their sex life!

You’re right, Mick! It is a pretty funny story!

Pop Rock N’ Roll

As the story goes, if you mix Pop Rocks with Cola, this diabolic concoction would cause you to explode. The legend was enhanced when people claimed that Mikey, the Life Cereal ad campaign kid (you know, “Hey, Mikey likes it!”) was an original victim of the blast. A similar tale has recently surrounded Mentos and Cola, because the two products do combine to create fizz and can launch a bottle into orbit. The cute Pepsi girl of the 90’s was said to be a casualty. In both cases, no one has actually died from ingesting the two items together.

Hole-in-One

Creator Clarence Crane was said to have designed Life Savers with a hold in the middle after his daughter tragically died choking on a candy. The hole was to allow oxygen to pass through a person’s body, even if stuck in one’s throat. The reality, however, is quite a bit different. Crane fashioned his new invention after the floatable inner tubes that were becoming all the rage following the Titanic disaster in 1912.

All Wrapped Up

Legend had it, that if you found an image of Indian, complete with bow and arrow, on your Tootsie Roll or Pop wrapper, you would be the recipient of any number of prizes, ranging from Tootsie treats for life to a new bicycle to unimaginable wealth and celebrity (I added that last one myself!). I would have loved to have found that Indian, as I very much enjoy the Tootsie products. Sadly, the story is completely fabricated.

Jaw Dropper

It’s hard to believe this one is actually true, but it has been verified by the fine folks at MythBusters. If you place one of those massive jawbreakers in the microwave it will explode. Why someone would ever put a jawbreaker into the microwave is a yet-to-be answered question, but here’s my theory: why not. Those jawbreakers are a pain in the ass (or more aptly, mouth) to get through and perhaps someone tried to accelerate the process.

Spider Yum

When Bubble Yum gum hit the market and became quite popular, stories began to circulate that the gum contained such grossities as spider eggs, spider legs, or spider webbing. These were all probably started by a rival gum company in hopes of curtailing the popularity of the world’s first soft gum. Bubble Yum’s parent company fought these rumours publicly with full-page newspaper ads ensuring people of the quality of their product. Most people actually listened and Bubble Yum lived on.

Razor’s Edge

Remember when we were all wee little sippers and when we returned home our parents sifted through our well-earned Halloween stash (probably contemplating which treats they’d take for themselves) to make sure there was no evidence of tampering? Good thing they did. In 2000, James Joseph Smith stuck needles into Snickers bars he planned to hand out and one boy bit into the chocolate bar. Smith was arrested and charged with adulterating a substance with the intent to cause harm… asshole!

Pick Your Poison

Similarly, the threat of poisoned candy given out at Halloween has always existed, but the only evidence of this occurring happened when some sick bastards poisoned their own children, including one loser who laced his kid’s Pixy Stix with cyanide to collect a $20,000 life insurance policy. Most cases were just overeating by the public (no surprise there) and not waiting to hear the actual results of why someone became sick.

Drink #299: Bazooka Joe

Rim glass with Bubble Gum
0.5 oz Irish Crème
0.5 oz Banana Liqueur
0.5 oz Blue Curacao

Are there any candy urban legends you’d like to pass my way? I’m a skeptical one, but I’ll give it a chance!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I liked this shooter and always have. Truth be known, when I was taken out on my 19th birthday for my first legal drinks, this was the first shot that was ever ordered for me. I still marvel at how these three ingredients combine to fake the taste of bubble gum, but somehow it all comes together.

October 24 – Nerds

Posted on October 24, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Terrible Treats

There’s not a lot of candy out there that isn’t good, but some items draw some serious ire for the Sip Advisor. Here’s what tops the unwanted list:

Black Jelly Beans/Jube Jubes

I’ve grown to accept both of these evil devices, as my tastes have expanded, but there’s a reason why in a bowl of jelly beans or jube jubes, the black ones are the last to be finished, often with a clump of them remaining and some brave soul being dared to rid them from the world. And no, I’m not a racist, except towards those damn purple people, but that’s another story for another day.

Jelly Bellies

You just never know what you’re going to get with the mixed jelly bean flavours and that mystery can really stress a fella out. BeanBoozled packs even capitalize on this confusion with identically coloured candies on opposite ends of the taste spectrum. Some doppelgangers include Coconut or Baby Wipes, Tutti-Fruitti or Stinky Sock, Caramel Corn or Moldy Cheese, and Juicy Pear or Booger. I do have to give the company credit for their Cocktail Classics line, featuring Mojito, Bellini, Margarita, Pina Colada, Cosmo, and Daiquiri flavours!

Jawbreakers

The favourite candy of dentists everywhere! I’m always worried when eating a jawbreaker that I’m going to wreck my teeth. I’m just not patient enough to let the hard candy become soft, which is probably why I enjoy chewy Gobstoppers for their light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel ability. I remember having one of those massive giant jawbreakers when I was really young and having to smash it on the floor to make a piece small enough to fit in my mouth… then it was basically a choking hazard. Ah, the wonders of childhood!

Peeps

I’ve never really been a huge fan of marshmallow based candies and cookies. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’d rather have a cream filling! Are you done giggling? How about now? Seriously, I’m just not that into marshmallows. Perhaps roasting them over the fire and exacting revenge on them via flames is the closest I can say I come to enjoying marshmallows. I do make concessions for marshmallows as part of baking, such as Rice Krispy Squares or Ma Sip’s famous delicacies.

Push Pops

The thing I hated about these candies is that your spit would end up all over your finger and hand as it came through the device holding it. I thought we were supposed to teach kids not to suck on their fingers and grow the eff up! There seems to be some sort of disconnect between the two ideas there. Similarly horrible were Ring Pops, although I do look fabulous in designer candy jewelry!

Milk Duds

Junior Caramels are much better, but when Mrs. Sip can’t locate any for her movie popcorn, she’ll grab Milk Duds, which can be very hard to chew and you normally end up choking on the piece as you try to swallow. We’ve also taken a shine recently to the Caramilk or Rolo bites that were released not that long ago. Basically, as long as the chocolate and caramel is soft, we’re pretty happy. Once Mrs. Sip dumps them into her popcorn, though, I no longer partake.

Drink #297: Nerds

1 oz Melon Liqueur
1 oz Blue Curacao
Top with Lemonade
Garnish with Nerds

Which candies do you deplore? We should have a candy burning festival and as all the awful items burn in hell, we should rejoice in the purity of our favourite treats and stuff ourselves full of glorious vices!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
I certainly wouldn`t associate Nerds or this cocktail with the ‘Terrible Treats’ moniker. I tried to put the Nerds on the rim of the glass, but they were too heavy to stay in place. To compensate, I just poured them on top of the cocktail and I think that worked well enough. The drink didn’t blow my mind and left me a little disappointed. Not to mention that I think all these candy drinks are slowly giving me diabetes!

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

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