July 27 – Beneath the Sea

Posted on July 27, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Beer Christenings

There are some pretty clever beer names out there… a lot of them, to be honest. Today, I’ve tried to narrow down some of the best I’ve seen or heard of and hopefully we can all have some laughs thanks to these inventive brewers.

Hell or High Watermelon – 21st Amendment

One of my favourite beers I’ve sadly only been able to try once. I’ve tried a couple other watermelon and wheat-based concoctions, but Hell or High Watermelon is by far my preferred option. I happily sipped on it at Beer 39 in San Francisco and although I’ve found stores where I can pick it up when I’m in the U.S., it’s hard to justify using my liquor allowance on beer. 21st Amendment also makes the Beerly Legal Lager, which is another crafty name for a brew.

Hoptimus Prime – Ruckus (and others)

There are a lot of beers that play with the word hop in their name (Smoother Hoperator, Stop, Hop and Roll, and Hoppy Ending are a few that come to mind), but Hoptimus Prime is is by far the best, as the companies (there are multiple) play on the Optimus Prime Transformers character. This kind of makes me want to see the Autobots get their drink on, which would be like Bender from Futurama getting blitzed but with so much more destruction!

Kilt Lifter – Pike (and others)

This ale seems to be a common release from a number of different companies. Pike is one of the more popular and also a micro-brewery/pub I have personally visited and enjoyed thoroughly nearly every time I’m in Seattle, Washington. I’ve even tried the Kilt Lifter despite not being a big ale drinker, as you have to try something with a name like this when the opportunity arises!

Panty Peeler – Midnight Sun

Well, we all hope this is the end result of a night drinking with the missus! Sticking with the removal of clothes, started by the Kilt Lifter above, the Panty Peeler features an 8.5% alcohol content, which just may accelerate the removal of clothing. It is described as a Belgian triple with American boldness and originally went under a different name, but received its new moniker over time. Gee, I wonder how that happened!

Blithering Idiot – Weyerbacher

Clearly, the fine folks at Weyerbacher know exactly what their customers become after consuming their products! I know I’ve had my fair share of “Blithering Idiot” moments after downing a few too many pints. This barley wine ale has a great label featuring an evil looking jester that just may haunt your dreams if you turn into a blithering idiot yourself.

Duck Duck Gooze – The Lost Abbey

The name of this beer is a play on the gueuze style, which is a Belgian fermentation technique, resulting in brews dubbed Brussels Champagne. When drinking Duck Duck Gooze, you should then play a complete trashed version of the classic children’s game, wobbling around the circle as you chase down your opponent and walloping them good when you catch them. Apparently, this beer is only released once every three years, so you’ll want to grab it if you ever see it.

Boom Shakalager – Terrapin Side Project

This takes me back to the days of NBA Jam, being on fire, and the announcer shouting “BOOM SHAKALAKA” as you performed a mega dunk, slamming the basketball straight to hell! The 9% alcohol content will definitely have you “on fire”, similar to NBA Jam, but your dunking skills are probably in need of major work and I predict any number of serious court injuries if you try to slam a ball while buzzing on Boom Shakalager!

Effinguud – Valley Brew

The makers of this beer have a very high opinion of it. With their confidence fully behind the brew, it gives me complete faith in the sour/wild ale. Similar to the tactic used by Effen Vodka, Effinguud will get your attention with its name and hopes to keep it with its taste. I wonder if you would be in line for a refund if you had a bad experience with the drink?Would it be false advertising?

CA$H 4 Golden Ale – Pipeworks

We’ve all seen or heard about the Cash for Gold stores, where customers can exchange their jewelry and other trinkets for money (it was even parodied on a recent episode of South Park). Now you can apparently get some currency in exchange for trading in your beer. I have yet to see one of their locations, but I have to admit, I’m not really searching, preferring to drink my beer (perhaps a CA$H 4 Golden Ale), rather than exchange it.

For Those About to Bock – HopWorks

We salute you! While most people like to combine their drinking with the hard rock music of AC/DC (sorry, there’s no lightning bolt for the ‘/’ symbol), this company took it a step further and named their beer based on the band’s hit ‘For Those About to Rock’. Taking the Bock style of beer, which is a traditional German strong brew, HopWorks has made the perfect libation for heavy drinkers and hard rockers alike.

Nonethewizer – Drakes

I figured this beer would be of the Hefeweizen variety, but it’s actually a Kölsch/Altbier brew. I feel like Nonethewizer would be a perfect beer to be sneaking around, leaving people none-the-wiser that you’re actually getting smashed. It could be enjoyed at work, while at your child’s school events, during excruciating dry social occasions, and really anywhere else a beer would hit the spot but is looked down upon by the rest of society!

Drink #208: Beneath the Sea

0.5 oz Blue Curacao
0.5 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Bailey’s Irish Crème
Drop a couple drops of GIB Raspberry Ale
Garnish with Shark Candy

That wraps up Beer Cocktail Week at The Sip. I hope you’ve all enjoyed this trip down brewery lane and you’ve remembered the old saying: liquor before beer, you’re in the clear… beer before liquor, never been sicker. Although, I’m not too sure how it goes when we’ve been combining the two all week!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I kind of wish I had picked a beer shooter that involved more than a few drop of the brew, but this seemed like a neat option among too many lame ones. The layering that was supposed to occur didn’t and the seaweed effect with adding the raspberry beer drops never worked either. Still, any excuse to use a gummy shark is a good one!

July 23 – Sizzler

Posted on July 23, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Phrases to Drink By

There are a million different beers out there, so differentiating yourself from the competition is very important. One way to do so is to adopt a catchy mantra that grabs the customer and forces them to give your suds a fair shot. Here are some of the best:

Dos Equis – Stay Thirsty My Friends

I really like this slogan… not that I wish people aren’t able to quench their thirst, as that would suck and it goes against the core concept of the Sip Advisor. But we should always be looking for opportunities to enjoy some libations with our closest friends and family. The line is especially epic when delivered by “the most interesting man in the world,” who has become an idol of sorts for myself.

Heineken – Heineken Refreshes the Parts Other Beers Cannot Reach

I’m curious as to which exact parts are being refreshed when I drink a Heineken compared to other options. Could it be the part that’s in the name, the heiney? Moving on, as I’ve mentioned before, I’m not a huge fan of Heineken, but I did like their brewery tour and experience in Amsterdam and I think this slogan is pretty clever, despite its vagueness.

Corona – Miles Away From Ordinary

I always enjoyed the Corona ads that were set at the beach and featured people just relaxing and soaking in all of life’s pleasures. While I’ve learned I like other Mexican selections better (Modelo, Pacifico, etc.), Corona is the perfect beach beer. It was even my drink of choice as I established a world record for drinking a beer underwater… definitely, miles away from ordinary.

Molson Canadian – I Am Canadian

Us Canadians are pretty proud of our beer… even the cheap stuff. Home to some of the finest micro-breweries in existence, we also churn out the big business stuff and brag about how much better our suds are compared to our southern neighbours. How accurate this is, is up for debate, but the I Am Canadian campaign did launch the famous commercial below, as well as a ton of Canadian patriotism (a rare find, indeed).

Sleeman’s – Notoriously Good

Thanks to the beer’s association with pirates, bootlegging, Al Capone, and other seedy characters, the brewery has decided to embrace that legacy with its ‘Notoriously Good’ ad campaign. I like Sleeman’s mixed pack of brews, as they are perfect for relaxing pool side at the Sip Advisor retreat home. I have spent countless hours floating and burning with a Sleeman’s nearby… because, I am after all, notoriously good!

Budweiser – This Bud’s For You

Budweiser has had a lot of memorable ad campaigns, from the Clysdale horses to the “Wassup” guys, but nothing will beat this classic slogan, which has become part of the American lexicon. I even remember when Bud Bundy used the catchphrase to his advantage on Married with Children. While Mrs. Sip is still furious over Budweiser stealing its name from an established European brewery, there’s not much any of us can do about it but drink up!

Carlsberg – Probably the Best Beer in the World

I don’t know what I find so funny about the “probably” thrown in at the start of this slogan, but when I first saw it in the U.K. I thought it was hilarious. I was “probably” drunk at the time, so that helps! While I will always have a soft spot in my heart for Carlsberg because it was our go-to brew for games of beer pong, while living in England, I’d have to say that it’s actually “probably not” the best beer in the world.

…or not

Foster’s – Australian for Beer

While Mrs. Sip lived in Australia (and I joined her for six magical weeks), we learned that Australians wouldn’t dare even touch Foster’s. Still, it is advertised as one of the country’s greatest exports, so maybe the slogan should correctly read: Foster’s, American for Australian Beer. I can’t say that I’ve ever had a Foster’s beer, the only offering on this list I haven’t tried. That will be remedied immediately.

Red Stripe – It’s BEER. Hooray beer!

As if Jamaicans need to find a good reason to party… I guess the celebration of beer is as good excuse as any, but when you live in a tropical paradise, full of sandy beaches, scantily clad women, and easily accessible marijuana, what is there to complain about? I suppose you could point to the serious crimes perpetrated around the country, but you should just relax and crack another Red Stripe!

Labatt Blue – If I Wanted Water, I Would Have Asked for Water

I feel that this was a shot at American beers, fired directly across the bow, courtesy of a Canadian brewery. Labatt is the best-selling Canadian beer around the world, which gives them some clout to be able to make these statements. I personally like the slogan, regardless of its intentions, because when I want some suds, I don’t want them to be watered down… a cardinal sin in the brewing industry.

Sapporo – Senses Never Forget

Sapporo is one of my favourite walking beers when I’m in Las Vegas because it comes in an absolutely massive can that is perfect for sharing and will last you a good distance. My senses surely have never forgotten this, even while I spend much of my Vegas vacation trashed. I also like the company’s new commercials which feature dragon’s warming the brewing vats with their fire.

Drink #204: Sizzler

1 oz Whiskey
1 oz Vodka
Top with half Lager and half Lemonade (I used Rickard’s Shandy)
Garnish with Lemon Wedges

As a fan of micro-breweries, I wish more of them would put out their own slogans and not leave it to the big breweries to solely play the game. Then again, the big boys are the ones who can put more resources towards marketing campaigns. Back to drinking!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
Using a Shandy Beer basically covers the Beer-Lemonade combo, but I did add a little extra Lemonade for good measure. The Vodka and Honey Whiskey mix tasted good before I even added the brew and I’ll have to consider it for a future recipe.

July 20 – Melon Ball

Posted on July 20, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Creative Cuisine

There are some odd culinary pairings in existence where anyone who has tried the combo swears by its deliciousness. Some of these I’ve tried and others I’ve merely only heard about. While I’ll give most anything a fair shot, I must admit that some of these couplings will take more convincing than others. This seems to be a growing field in the gastronomic world, as there’s even an entire site dedicated to the cause. Here are some blends that I’ve tried myself or found around the wild, wild web:

Melon and Prosciutto

For two completely contrasting food items, melon and prosciutto work really well together. Even though I’m not a big melon fan, the mix of sweetness from the melon and salty from the prosciutto produce a melt in your mouth snack that will blow your mind. Of course, prosciutto seems to accentuate a number of other items from crackers to salads and everything in between.

Chili Powder and Vanilla Ice Cream

I’ve enjoyed chocolate with chili powder, so I don’t see it as too much of a stretch that vanilla ice cream would also work when paired with chili powder. Heck, some chili powder might be the perfect thing to spice (literally!) up your plain old vanilla ice cream. And if you begin to feel the burn, it shouldn’t be too long before the cool ice cream dulls that tongue-on-fire sensation.

Watermelon and Black Pepper

I’ve professed my love for watermelon through this site on a couple occasions already. That love will never fade and I must admit that combing the melon with black pepper intrigues me. Watermelon can be a very subtle taste, so perhaps the addition of black pepper is simply to bring the devourer back to flavour country aboard the pepper express!

Dark Chocolate and Parmesan Cheese

One suggestion was to enjoy this union as a grilled cheese sandwich and I’m still trying to get my head around that idea. Parmesan is one of the few cheeses I seem to not mind, but mixing it with anything other than a Caesar salad seems like crazy talk to me. I even ran this by cheese guru Mrs. Sip and she couldn’t exactly picture the meal being palatable.

Jalapeno and Strawberries

Most times, these odd pairings feature the coming together of two wildly different flavours. In this case, you have the sweet strawberries being mixed with spicy jalapenos. Each bite would be a mix of competing emotions, with the spice surely winning the battle. I only like jalapenos in small doses on nachos and such, so I don’t think this combo would go over very well for me.

Chocolate and Fried Onions

This concept has me quite intrigued. I think I would enjoy a plate of onion rings with a chocolate drizzle laid over them or a little dish of the sweet stuff on the side to dip the rings in. Hell, deep fry anything and dunk it in chocolate and you’ll probably come up with a decent, gluttonous snack. I’ll put money on the fact this concept was first dreamt up in the American south and for that, we thank you!

McDonalds Fries and Hot Fudge Sundae

This combination was brought to our attention by an Australian. The Aussies are known for doing crazy things, but this being on the tamer side, Mrs. Sip and I gave it a shot are were surprised at how well the two products came together. The salt sticks known as McDonalds fries pair very well with the sweetness of hot fudge and the creamy vanilla soft-serve ice cream.

French Fries and Ranch Dressing

I should be a spokesperson for ranch dressing. I mean, just like the Frank’s Red Hot commercials, I put that sh*t on everything… tacos, sandwiches, pizza, chicken, pasta, and especially French fries. A new combo I’ve been working on of late is to mix ranch dressing with honey garlic sauce before dousing the above items with this hybrid of sweet and tangy that will blow your mind. Patent pending!

Ketchup and Macaroni & Cheese

This is another one that I’ve been doing for years, since I was a little sipper, and don’t find it an odd pairing at all, but it came up a few times in the course of my research for this article. I prefer my mac n’ cheese to be leftovers, where the cheese has dried, rather than fresh with gooey, slimy cheese. Then, just splat some catsup over the bowl, mix it up and you have a perfect quick meal.

Peanut Butter and Bacon

I love peanut butter and I love bacon, so it seems mixing the two together might be a no-brainer. I’ve enjoyed both in chocolate, so perhaps we’d be looking at our first triple threat food pairing if we combined all three together. A PB&B sandwich actually sounds pretty tempting… delicious even. I’m pretty sure I’m going to make one to enjoy with today’s shot du jour.

Drink #201: Melon Ball

0.5 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Melon Liqueur
0.5 oz Pineapple Juice
Garnish with Watermelon Ball

What is your favourite odd food pairing? Give me your best recipes and perhaps I’ll do another post on reader suggestions and how well I was able to stomach them. Sounds like fun for all, doesn’t it!?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
The Watermelon Ball was a nice touch and the shooter was delicious. I was curious about Pineapple Juice being part of the recipe, but it worked well with the Melon Liqueur and you can’t ever knock Vodka for fear of a Vodka Belt reprisal!

July 10 – Snickertini

Posted on July 10, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Chocolate on My Mind

Chocolate bars are enticing enough on their own, but a good slogan can really grab your attention and steer you towards that product in particular. Here are some of the best chocolate bar catchphrases:

M&M’s – “Melts in your mouth, not in your hands!”

A great slogan that has also been lampooned in many sexual contexts, as civilization becomes filthier with each passing day. While I’m a Smarties man myself, when it comes to the milk chocolate varieties between the two companies I like that M&M’s has gone on to experiment and make a number of different flavour options. M&M Peanuts and M&M Pretzels have to be among my preferred chocolate adaptations.

Butterfinger – “Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger!”

This catchphrase dates back to when Bart Simpson was the spokesperson for the treat. Commercials usually featured Homer trying to enjoy the chocolate bar, only for things to go tragically wrong for the poor lug. When the contract between the show and Butterfinger was terminated, The Simpsons writers took a few shots at the chocolate bar, including it not being flammable, with Chief Wiggum stating, “Even the fire doesn’t want them.”

Twix – “Two for me, none for you!”

Somehow, Mrs. Sip never got the memo Twix was sending out, as she always thinks the two bars are perfect to split. To that, I say “Only on date nights!” The other 364 days of the year, both bars better be going down my gullet. There’s just something about chocolate, caramel and cookie that work together so perfectly and keep me coming back for more.

Snickers – “Hungry? Why wait?” / “You’re not you when you’re hungry…”

Snickers is one of my favourite chocolate bars (hence the push for today’s martini) and the company has also put out some solid ads. I particularly like the “You’re not you when you’re hungry …” campaign, which has featured Joe Pesci, Bobcat Goldthwait and Robin Williams, among others. I’ve even eaten a Snickers bar with a fork and knife, first shown on Seinfeld… it’s the only way to truly enjoy it!

Kit Kat – “Have a break, have a Kit Kat.” / “Gimme a break!”

According to Mrs. Sip, this is another treat that’s perfect for sharing… just like McDonalds fries, beer, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, etc. She’s a freakin’ mooch is what she is. I get my revenge, though, when I inform her that she is in fact perfect for sharing and if she wants anymore of my god damn Kit Kat, she better be willing to even things up on her end!

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups – “There’s no wrong way to eat a Reese’s!”

I’m pretty sure I could find a couple ways, actually! Did they consider things like eating while upside down, which would certainly a choking risk? How about while swimming, getting chocolate and peanut butter contamination in the pool? On the toilet doesn’t seem very hygienic, either. And I won’t even delve into the dirty part of my mind, which sadly takes up over 80% of me noggin’.

Mars – “A Mars a day helps you work, rest and play.”

It also helps diabetes come visit a little sooner than originally expected! I guess if you’re actually following the work, rest, and play mantra you might be okay with a chocolate bar each day, but wouldn’t you want some variety mixed in there? Granted, Mars is a pretty decent treat, but I wouldn’t want to commit all my resources to one basket. I’m a man of simple, but varied pleasures!

Oh Henry! – “Oh hungry? Oh Henry!”

Nobody knows exactly where the chocolate bar’s name came from, but it has featured in everything from the All in the Family TV series, to being thrown on the field every time slugger Henry Rodriguez hit a homerun. When I am hungry and craving a snack, Oh Henry is one of my desired chocolate bars, thanks to its blend of peanuts, caramel and nougat.

Drink #191: Snickertini

Decorate glass with Caramel Syrup
1.5 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Bailey’s Irish Crème
0.5 oz Chocolate Liqueur
0.5 oz Amaretto
Splash of Milk
Garnish with Snickers Stir Stick

As much as I enjoy chocolate bars, I have to say that drinking them also satisfies my sweet tooth. Give it a shot next time you’re craving a bar and see if it works in quelling the uprising in your stomach!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This martini is decent, but some sips can be strong. The full Snickers bar bumps it up the extra .5 point, even if Mrs. Sip didn’t want me to plunk it into the cocktail. If you’re going to try the Caramel Syrup spiral, make sure you have a bottle of the stuff that can actually get into the glass! Thanks to some improvisation we got something that looked photogenic enough, despite our bottle issue.

July 9 – Woo Woo

Posted on July 9, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Things That Make You Go Woo

While I’m not one to show my emotions easily, there are many things in my life that bring out an emotional charge in me that few ever knew existed. Here are the things that make me (and I’m sure many others) go woo!

Shots & Shooters

You had to figure that the Sip Advisor gets his motor running with alcohol. And nothing beats slamming back something hard like whiskey or tequila and shouting out a resounding woo as your face goes fuzzy and you ride the burn of the liquid shredding past your throat and down your esophagus. Might as well load up another round… the party is just getting started!

Beautiful Women

When I see Mrs. Sip dressed up in anything from her sexy business attire to nothing at all, I may have to mutter it under my breath, so as not to cause a public disturbance, but you can bet her sweet ass that I’m going woo-woo-woo, as my mind spins and the salivary glands completely disregard the information my brain has passed on to them.

Ric Flair

The venerable wrestler has long had the catchphrase of simply shouting “Woooooooooo” and having the crowd echo it back to him. Every time he would chop an opponent across the chest, the fans would shout in unison along with the sick sound of slapping skin, all the while watching the victim’s chest turn red with welts. Flair’s catchphrase has even been adopted by a number of sports teams, being played following a goal or other scored point.

Rollercoasters

One of the greatest thrills for me is going over the apex of the first drop on a rollercoaster and falling at blazing speeds, screaming at the top of your lungs and preparing to do it again on the next descent. Everything from my first coaster, Montezuma’s Revenge at Knott’s Berry Farm to my all-time favourite, Space Mountain at the Disney parks is good reason to damage your voice box.

I hope they saved me a seat!

Bungee Jumping

When you step up to the edge of the platform and you feel the chord that’s supposed to support you drop into the open air below, you get a sense of what your body is about to do. There’s no turning back, though. Just jump, spread your wings and fly, all the while screaming as you plummet towards the earth below! That free-fall feeling is almost euphoric… providing you’re not afraid of heights! Whoo hoo!

Sports Triumphs

Being from Vancouver, Canada, we haven’t had many of these (40-plus years of hockey futility, mixed with losing our NBA and NLL franchises), but even if you’re live at the stadium, a big goal can lift you to your feet and have you high-fiving complete strangers in an instant. We did have the 2011 run to the Stanley Cup Finals and although it ended with disappointment (and a riot), the ride was absolutely fantastic!

Drink #190: Woo Woo

1 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Peach Schnapps
Top with Cranberry Juice
Garnish with a Lime Wheel

What makes you go “woo”? It’s okay if it’s something weird like bird watching or gardening. To each their own, I always say.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
For some reason, Peach Schnapps and Cranberry Juice go so well together. It’s a nice mix of sweet and tart and the top shelf Vodka certainly helps. It also comes Mrs. Sip approved!

July 4 – Firework Fizz

Posted on July 4, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Home of the Brave

Today, we salute our neighbours to the south (unless you’re from the UK… why would you salute the French!? Oh okay, they do make a fine guillotine…article to come on July 14th!) as they celebrate their Independence Day (no, not the movie, you knucklehead). Here are the pearls of wisdom I learned about American patriotism from watching years of professional wrestling, where many of life’s great lessons can be learned!

#1) You want to be a good guy? Wear the red, white and blue.

A countless number of wrestlers, including Lex Luger, ‘Hacksaw’ Jim Duggan, the Patriot, and Hulk Hogan (as his Mr. America character), have donned the American colours as part of their wardrobe. I have to ask, though, is it really being patriotic to have the American flag cradling your junk? Regardless of whether this is actually more damaging or not to the country’s shades, it’s an instant identifier that you are, in fact, to be cheered.

I’m okay with this kind of patriotism!

#2) The flag must never be desecrated.

With the jury still out on the crotch cover issue, one thing is for sure: the American flag is off limits. You can’t even break the pole holding the flag in half or your life is in serious jeopardy. If you lay the flag over a fallen foe, that is practically sacrilegious. Wrestlers have threatened to stage a live burning of the stars and stripes, only to be attacked en masse. Other flags can be defiled without issue, such as when Shawn Michaels stuffed the Canadian maple leaf up his nose during the early D-Generation X days.

#3) Every foreigner is a bad guy.

Well, we all knew this! The easiest way to draw heat onto a heel in wrestling is to make him a foreigner. They don’t even have to despise the good ol’ U.S. of A. at first, as long as they eventually get there. Even if the foreign character is simply being as patriotic towards their own country as any American hero would be towards his nation, the crowd will turn on them in a heartbeat. The ironic thing is that many of the greatest foreign heels were actually played by Americans. Nelson Simpson from Minnesota portrayed Nikita Koloff, who marched to the ring wearing the U.S.S.R. colours and competed in Russian Chain matches. The dastardly Yokozuna, a Japanese sumo wrestler, was depicted by Samoan-American Rodney Anoa’i. And the list goes on and on!

#4) If that foreigner converts, they become lovable.

When Nikita Koloff joined forces with longtime foe, ‘The American Dream’ Dusty Rhodes, he became one of the company’s most popular stars in an instant. Similarly, as the Berlin Wall fell to the ground and the Cold War ended, Nikolai Volkoff went from U.S.S.R. anthem singing baddie to a man who embraced the coming together of the two rival countries, even wearing a jacket that featured both nation’s flags.

#5) Turncoats are worse than foreign bad guys.

When Sgt. Slaughter began empathizing with Saddam Hussein and the Iraqi side of the Gulf War, he was hated so much that WrestleMania VII had to be moved from the outdoor Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum to the indoor L.A. Sports Arena because of security worries, including death threats against the former G.I. Joe character (although most insiders contend that poor ticket sales were really to blame). Other Benedict Arnold’s, if you will, include staunch American flag waver Jim Duggan, who joined a Team Canada faction for a time and looked out of place flapping the Canadian maple leaf and wearing a red and white tracksuit, sans the blue.

#6) Canadians are anti-American.

It has been done countless times in wrestling, where a group of Canadians have banded together to take on the entire and overwhelming American roster. A Team Canada unit existed in both WCW and TNA, while WWE hosted the pro-Canadian Hart Foundation and the Un-Americans. While I’m all for Canadian patriotism myself, it is usually only seen in the realm of hockey. I have to give credit to the Canadian mat stars that align together in the name of our country… sadly, they always wind up on the losing end of things.

#7) Politics makes strange bedfellows.

When there aren’t enough members of one nationality challenging an American troupe, odd groupings can result. At the 1993 Survivor Series, the team of Japanese monster Yokozuna, Finnish strongman Ludvig Borga, and Canadian tag team The Quebecers, did battle with the All-Americans, putting to end a number of feuds that had lasted throughout the year.

#8) The “U-S-A, U-S-A” chant is devastating to foreigners.

This seems to be a foreign heel’s kryptonite. They can take ample amounts of physical punishment from their opponent, but if the crowd revs up and starts chanting “U-S-A, U-S-A” it sends the bad guy into a panicked rage, searching for relief by manically covering his ears, violently shaking his head, and searching for all ways to relieve the stress of being chanted at. Ironically, I’ve even heard the U-S-A chant directed at a bad guy while he was facing a Canadian grappler.

#9) Forgive and forget.

I have to give credit to the Americans, when a wrestler wants to make amends for his evil deeds and return to his patriotic roots, he is accepted back into the fold without hesitation. For example, after his Iraqi sympathizer stint, Sgt. Slaughter was featured in a series of vignettes, demanding his country back. Similarly, turncoat Jim Duggan has gone back to his flag waving ways and shouting “U-S-A,” sending crowds into a frenzy of patriotism, as they eat up the decades old act, once again.

Drink #185: Firework Fizz

Muddled Peeled Ginger and Blackberries
1.5 oz Vodka (I used Bols, infused with grape powder)
1 tsp Sugar
Top with Ginger Ale
Garnish with Ginger-Wrapped Blackberry

The most patriotic Americans seem to be wrestlers. There was even a wrestler named The Patriot, who wore an American flag-themed mask and tights, wrestled as part of a tag team dubbed Stars and Strpes, and incorporated finishing maneuvers like the Uncle Slam and Patriot Missile. Only in the world of wrestling!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
The Muddled Ginger is certainly an interesting flavour to have in a cocktail. The blend of Ginger and Blackberries is good and Ginger Ale has still yet to fail me. The original recipe calls for Grape Vodka, but personally I have been unable to find it in any of the liqour stores in Canada. Despite this fault, the Grape Powder Infused Vodka worked pretty well, if I don’t say so myself!

June 20 – Screwdriver

Posted on June 20, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Tool Time

The screwdriver is one of the handiest tools known to man… and not just because of its alcoholic properties! Here are some other inventions that we just couldn’t live without:

Roomba

This little creation will travel across your home and vacuum your floors as it goes. It’s perfect for pet fur, dirt, and other small messes. Hell, the thing is probably (scratch that, IT IS) smarter than me. If can change directions after bumping into an object and detect falls, as well as dirty spots. On Parks and Recreation, Tom Haverford even attached an iPod dock to his Roomba, creating DJ Roomba, which throws down the sickest beats while working its way around your party.

Batteries

For everything from TV controllers to sex toys, batteries are an essential part of everyday life. Without them, we’d have to get off our asses to change the channel. One of the WORST things that can EVER happen to you is when batteries die on you. The worst for me was the Wii video game controller, which always seemed to go out while I was in the middle of a big boss battle. Oh, first world problems!

Pen

The pen is mightier than the sword (although the Game of Thrones folks would beg to differ) and as a scribe myself, I’ve felt great power when I wield the pen of destiny and begin etching my thoughts of intelligence. All us great philosophers feel a sense of omnipotence (that’s omnipotence, NOT impotence!) when writing. If only anybody would trust us enough to listen.

Chainsaws

If Leatherface has taught us anything, it’s that a chainsaw means business. Relied upon for everything from efficiently taking down a tree to terrorizing teenage travelers, the chainsaw must be loved and feared all at the same time. When you hear that engine revving, it’s probably wiser to run for safety rather than sticking around, hoping it’s just a lumberjack in the forest.

Perhaps I ran away much too quickly!

Umbrella

What I love about the umbrella is its dual-function ability. Yes, it can keep you dry on a wet, rainy day, but it can also double as a weapon. For example, I’ve found that swinging it at cars that cut you off in crosswalks might not be in the best interest of calming a situation, but it sure brings a smile to your face.

Toilet

Can you imagine life if we still had to use primitive things like holes in the ground and pots and pans to do our business!? And what would you do when you indulge in one too many of the Sip Advisor’s wonderful recipes? Thank you Mr. Toilet!

Drink #171: Screwdriver

Rim glass with Orange Sugar
Muddled Oranges
1.5 oz Vodka (I used Absolut Citron)
Top with Orange Juice
Garnish with Orange Slice

I’m just waiting for someone to chirp that I’m a valuable tool and while you would be 100% correct, let’s not start throwing stones in glass houses. Which tool have I missed? Let me know your favourite and we discuss at length why you’re wrong!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
A very simple cocktail that had to be done at some point during this 365-day cocktail project. It was delicious, as I spiced things up with Muddled Orange Wedges and Fruitopia Orange Groove (thanks McDoanlds!), instead of plain old OJ. The results were very respectable, making me think I might have a future in this business!

June 16 – Big Daddy

Posted on June 16, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Man Models

It’s Father’s Day and here at The Sip we salute all the male role models out there. I’d like to take this opportunity to send a special shout out to Papa Sip for his years of hockey and soccer coaching, allowance providing, driving in difficult weather conditions, pool maintenance, barbecue mastery, household upkeep, road trip navigation, and the list goes on and on and on!

Ron Swanson – Parks and Recreation

The Alpha Male of the Parks and Recreation crew, Ron Swanson is quick to look after all of his colleagues and is really a big, sweet teddy bear, despite his outward gruffness. In particular, he’s very handy with a set of tools and even hand-crafted Leslie Knope’s wedding ring, prior to an impromptu ceremony. Heck, he’s even not too bad with his recent ladyfriend’s two devilish little girls!

George Bailey – It’s a Wonderful Life

Minus the whole attempted suicide thing, George Bailey is an upstanding citizen, helping countless friends and family members, while at the same time sacrificing some of his own dreams and desires for his family. In the end, he’s shown that his existence is necessary and has improved so many lives around him. Plus an angel got his wings thanks to ol’ George.

Kermit the Frog – The Muppets

Kermit the Frog is pseudo father to the entire Muppet gang. He keeps them all in line and they have Kermit to thank for their pay check, living accommodations and lifestyle. Without him, as has been shown countless times, they’d be lost. Similar leaders of rag tag groups include Gordon Bombay of the Mighty Ducks teams and Alex Rieger in the Taxi garage.

Al Bundy – Married with Children

While not your typical father figure, Al Bundy would much prefer to spend his time watching TV, drinking beer, and going to the nudie bar, than take care of his offspring. However, Al will defend his kids to a fault and has been involved in countless altercations with the boyfriends of his daughter, Kelly, and people who wish to cause harm to his son, Bud.

Paul Hennessy – 8 Simple Rules

Poor Paul Hennessy had to look after the stunning Kaley Cuoco during her (very generous) formative years. No wonder John Ritter suffered a legit heart attack on the set of the show. The thought of all the guys lining up to date his teenage daughter must have taken its toll. I love John Ritter for everything he’s done, even forgiving him for the Problem Child movies and his appearance on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Cliff Huxtable – The Cosby Show

Raising a household of countless children, coming and going, Cliff Huxtable imparted many lessons on the viewing audience and Bill Cosby still pushes for strong father figures in the African American community to this day. Some accuse The Cosby Show of being “too white” – hell, scholarly essays have even been written on either side of the argument. I still have much respect for the Jell-O man!

Homer Simpson – The Simpsons

Aside from his regular strangling of son Bart, inability to connect with daughters Lisa and Maggie, alcohol dependence, questionable intelligence, and the ever-present likelihood that he will lose his job… Homer Simpson is a wonderful father. Homer learned the tricks of the father trade from one of the best, Abe ‘Grandpa’ Simpson, who largely raised the big lug on his own after Homer’s mother was forced to go into hiding when he was young.

Red Forman – That 70’s Show

Red Forman’s gruff exterior and “dumbass” catchphrase masks a sweet inner core. He definitely has a weakness in wife Kitty, who seems to be able to get whatever she wants from her husband. Red even took in his son Eric’s friend, Steven Hyde, after his parents left him behind. Ah, the 70’s, what a wild and crazy time to be alive!

Drink #167: Big Daddy

0.5 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Rum (I used Appleton)
0.5 oz Tequila
0.5 oz Whiskey
Top with Lemon-Lime Soda
Garnish with a Lime Wedge

Please make sure to sit down and have a drink with your dad or the important male role models in your life today. If it’s this particular cocktail, you’ve earned yourself some bonus points! If physical distance doesn’t allow this to happen, do something else nice for the guy. You wouldn’t be here without him!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
When putting together this cocktail, I decided to go the “top shelf” route, using my new Beluga Vodka from Russia, Appleton Rum, El Jimador Tequila and Crown Royal Whiskey. The results were quite enjoyable and you could compare this drink to a Long Island Iced Tea, with a few altered ingredients. I thought it made the perfect salute to fathers everywhere!

May 30 – Root Beer Fizz

Posted on May 30, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Thanks for the Meme-ories

Today marks post #150 of this blog, which has now surpassed Wikipedia as the most reliable source on the Internet. To celebrate, I present to you, my loyal and faithful little sippers, a smattering of memes to enjoy!

I’m not too sure who this old dude is, but he looks pretty dapper and his message is bang on. On second glance, he looks a little shitfaced and maybe leaning on the bar to hold himself up. I think alcohol has a passing record when you add up the births minus the deaths and divide by awesomeness!

I can only half agree with this message. Partly because I believe alcohol AND milk can solve problems. How many times have you been hanging out with your posse and decisions have been made or fences mended thanks to a little liquid libation? And how many times has a serving of cookies and milk helped you solve all of life’s little problems? Both substances are invaluable, in my honest opinion.

This little trooper is a Sip Advisor in training. Like a Jedi, he must go through tremendous sacrifice in order to harness the power of the force. It’s pretty funny that the beer is bigger than the kid and I love the thought of putting a young one through a sobriety test.

That is one massive beer! And lucky for this young chap, it’s a Hoegaarden, one of the finest brews in the world. That guy doesn’t even look of legal age though. Not that I’m condemning him (I started my Sip Advisor conditioning at an unheard of age because I was a “chosen one”). Imagine if doctors could prescribe ginormous alcohol servings and then you’d go to your local pharmacy to get your prescription filled… only in a perfect world!

This chick seems a little scattered, but it’s probably because she’s out of that aforementioned vodka. It’s sad that future generations won’t even know what an etch-a-sketch was or many of the other amazing devices we grew up with. Nowadays a kid turns four and they get a tablet device or cell phone loaded with enough content to babysit them for years. So much for imagination, which will one day be the world’s most scarce commodity.

A cat wearing a bow tie with glasses… how many scratches do you think that owner received in order to snap this awesome photo!? I bet they lost half their blood volume, but it was totally worth it. A scary thought just crossed my mind, however, what if this feline dressed himself and actually possess the intelligence to be a scientific wizard? If cats ever rise up against their human suppressors, I guess we’re still safe given that they sleep 20 hours a day and we can counter attack them while they’re napping.

Drink #136: Root Beer Fizz

1.5 oz Gin (I used Tanqueray)
Top with Root Beer
Splash of Lemon Juice
Garnish with Lemon Slices

Sip Advisor Bar Notes: (5 Sips out of 5):
This drink was delicious. I don’t know if that comes from its relatively simple recipe or the fact that Root Beer rules, but either way, I thoroughly enjoyed this cocktail. It gets my full, 100% recommendation.

May 29 – Red Lotus

Posted on May 29, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Land of Cherry Blossoms

Today we continue part two of our epic tour of Japan… for part one, head to our Japanese Slipper post.

Buy a High-Tech Gadget You Don’t Understand

Japan is a haven for electronic gadgets nobody really needs. Think about those Tamagotchi Pets and other junk. I’m not sure what I’d be searching for at the stores and stands hawking these treasures, but if I could find some kind of device that makes Mrs. Sip a little less late and a little more on time, I’d scoop it up in a heartbeat!

Go to Tokyo Disney Resort

I have made it a bucket list goal to visit every Disney theme park and this holiday would cross another stop off the register. Comprised of two parks – Tokyo Disneyland and Tokyo DisneySea – there are a ton of old classics and new favourites to check out. I just think it would be a psychedelic trip to go through the usual Disney fare, but have everything voiced in Japanese.

See “The Cove”

Whether you’re pro- or anti-dolphin hunting (not really sure who out there is actually in favour of slaughtering Flipper and his mates), if you’re looking for some adventure, you should visit “The Cove”, aka Taiji, Wakayama, Japan. Perhaps you can get into a fight with hunters or protestors or both. I say, why not swing wildly and let God sort ‘em out.

Sing Karaoke

These people invented the drunken entertainment, so we might as well drop a few sake bombs and sing our hearts out with the Yakuza. Perhaps we can find an arcade where visitors can take a spin at Dance Dance Revolution, while belting out a Neil Diamond classic!

Woo a Geisha

Although we’re only there for a few weeks, I think I have the ‘moves like Jagger’ to make a Geisha smitten with me. While I can’t provide all the usual financial support associated with the normal patrons of these ladies, I can offer wonderful drink recipes and regale them with stories of my triumphs.

Ride a Bullet Train

While the case would have to be solved quickly, given we’re aboard a Bullet Train, it would be neat to be aboard a choo-choo where a murder has occurred (ala The Orient Express)… and EVERYONE is a suspect! If the victim is anyone I work with, then I’ll likely turn out to be the killer. I won’t even make it a difficult case for investigators… full on confession: I did it and I’d do it again.

Wear a Kimono

Of course I’d be donning this traditional wardrobe at a public bath house, where I would then proceed to bathe rich Japanese businessmen, in exchange for yen and customary noodle dishes. It is a good life if you can get it!

Drink #149: Red Lotus

2 oz Vodka
Top with Lychee Juice
Splash of Cranberry Juice

Well, that about wraps up our Japanese adventures. Have I missed anything? Rhetorical question, my little sippers… I’m kind of awesome that way!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This is a very light drink that would probably get you drunk quickly without even noticing your buzz rising. It’s the first time I’ve ever had Lychee Juice and I’m looking forward to future play dates!

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

Tag Archives: vodka