Russia – Red October

Posted on September 2, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

From Russia with Love

The KGB (Komitet Gosudarstvennoi Bezopasnosti… or Committee for State Security) is one of the most recognizable secret service and intelligence agencies to ever exist. It served throughout the Cold War, from 1954 to 1991, specializing in espionage, surveillance, border patrol, and political control. Here are some of the most infamous spies to work for the organization:

Julius and Ethel Rosenberg

This American couple were executed for relaying information regarding atomic bombs to the U.S.S.R. Ethel’s brother David Greenglass was also part of the conspiracy, but only served 10 years of a 15 year prison sentence. There is some doubt as to the extent of Ethel’s involvement in the treason, but that didn’t stop the electric chair switch from being flipped on June 19, 1953.

Aldrich Ames

Due to an expensive divorce and living a lifestyle beyond his means, Ames, a CIA counterintelligence officer, began selling secrets to the KGB and by the time he was arrested in 1993, had compromised the second most CIA assets ever. For his crimes, which resulted in the deaths of at least 10 operatives and ruined at least 100 operations, Ames received a term of life imprisonment.

Richard Sorge

Working undercover as a journalist in both Germany and Japan, Sorge played a critical role in the outcome of World War II. After informing Russia that Japan did not have plans to attack the country in 1941, Russia was able to reposition their troops to better battle the Germans on the western front, as they tried to take Moscow. Sorge was arrested in Japan shortly after these messages and hung in 1944.

Alexander Litvinenko

Litvinenko is perhaps most remembered for how he died, poisoned by polonium-210, and succumbing to the deadly toxin in November 2006. An investigation in the United Kingdom – where Litvinenko had been living after fleeing Russia and being granted asylum – produced a suspect in Andrei Lugovoy, a member of Russia’s Federal Protective Service, although others have been alleged to have played a part in Litvinenko’s death.

Oleg Lyalin

After being arrested in the United Kingdom for drunk driving, Lyalin decided that he’d had enough of the spy life and defected from the KGB, outing 105 U.S.S.R. spies in the process, the largest action taken against the Soviet Union by a western government. Lyalin was rewarded with a new identity and life (with his secretary mistress!) and remained in hiding for more than 20 years, until his death in February 1995.

Vasily Mitrokhin

Mitrokhin was a former First Chief Directorate of the KGB. When the Soviet Union came to an end in 1991, Mitrokhin defected to Latvia, bringing with him detailed information on operations carried out by the KGB, dating as far back as the 1930’s… he was the senior archivist for the intelligence service, after all. He released a series of works, dubbed the Mitrokhin Archives, which discuss much of what the KGB did during its existence.

Russia: Red October

1.5 oz Beluga Vodka
0.75 oz Port
Splash of Lemon Juice
Dash of Simple Syrup
Garnish with Orange Slice

Hell, even current Russian president Vladimir Putin served with the KGB during the 1980’s, holding low-level positions in what was East Germany. Now he runs a country and has amassed a massive fortune in the process. Looks like things worked out pretty well for him.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
The Port was supposed to float on top of the rest of the cocktail, but it didn’t really behave as it was meant to. That could have been due to the way I poured it, the ice in the drink or even the type of glassware I used. That said, the drink was quite delicious, with notes of sweet and sour mixing in harmony.

Greece – The Odyssey

Posted on August 28, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Mythologically Speaking

There are some great characters found in the annuls of Greek mythology. I love shows like Hercules (the Disney cartoon, of course) and Clash of the Titans, which give you a glimpse of the legends, but in a way where you don’t feel you’re actually learning something! Let’s take a look at the most rockin’ gods and goddesses:

Zeus

The god of gods and a man you would not want to piss off. Some of his punishments are extreme, to put it lightly. To be fair, along with being the god of the sky, weather, thunder, and lightning, Zeus does also cover law, order, and justice. You probably also wouldn’t want to be a woman around Zeus, as the deity had a penchant for banging everything with a pair of legs… although I doubt missing limbs would stop the insatiable one.

Hercules

Played by acting icons such as Arnold Schwarzenegger, Lou Ferrigno, Ryan Gosling (Young Hercules) and to a much lesser extent, Kevin Sorbo, numerous performers have taken on the mythical character. Hell, this year alone, there will be two films released on the demi-god, starring The Rock and Kellan Lutz, respectively. An immortal strongman, as a youngster, Hercules even strangled a snake sent to kill him and for that, we thank him.

Hades

Lord of the underworld, Hades is also known as the god of regret and every time I don’t yell at someone who deserves a sound verbal thrashing, I am overcome with remorse. Thanks to the Disney version of Hercules, Hades will forever have James Wood’s voice attached to him in my head, telling me to do bad stuff and end up in the underworld, rather than living the sweet life in the heavens… it’s a tough voice to ignore!

Dionysus

Who can’t love this little scamp; the god of wine, parties and festivals, madness, chaos, drunkenness, drugs, and ecstasy. Personally, I think that sounds like a wicked weekend. Dionysus is so much cooler than Demeter, goddess of grain, agriculture, the harvest, growth, and nourishment (although grain is needed to make many alcohols and there’s nothing wrong with a good meal). Why build up your body when Dionysus is offering you all these fun ways to ruin it!

Ares

God of war, bloodshed, and violence, without ol’ Ares, we might not have all the awesome sports we enjoy today. Sure, the world would be a safer place, but someone would eventually ruin the peace, so chaos might as well reign. The one thing I can fault Ares with is that his sacred animals includes venomous snakes, which have been noted before as the Sip Advisor’s greatest fear. I am down with Ares moodiness and act first, ask questions later mentality.

Aphrodite

This firecracker is often depicted nude or en route to getting there. The goddess of love, beauty, desire, and pleasure, that sounds about as fun as Dionysus and perhaps a weekend under the spell of each of them would be the wildest thing you’d ever experienced. Aphrodite was said to have many lovers and if you were a god, you probably would as well. She can’t be faulted for wanting to get down with her bad self with anyone willing to tango with a goddess.

Hermes

As a writer, I have to give a shout out to Hermes, god of boundaries, travel, communication, trade, language, and writing. I find it odd that the “messenger of the gods” has a sacred animal like the tortoise. You’d think it would be something faster like a cheetah or something. That said, the tortoise did beat the hare, so perhaps it’s more about an accuracy issue. Hermes also guides souls into the afterlife, so he’s a pretty busy dude.

Poseidon

I’ve always been a water enthusiast and therefore I make yearly sacrifices of cannonballs and belly flops to Poseidon, god of sea, rivers, floods, and droughts. The broski of Zeus and Hades, Poseidon lords over all bodies of water. I wonder if this includes toilets, urinals, puddles, and all manner of liquid pooling devices. Can you imagine the all mighty Poseidon showing up in your bathroom stall and pronouncing: “I am king of the crapper and you must respect my authority!”

Greece: The Odyssey

Muddle Dill Sprig and Cucumber Slices
1.5 oz Vodka
0.25 oz Ouzo
Splash of Lemon Juice
Dash of Simple Syrup
Garnish with a Dill Sprig and Cucumber Slice

While the examples above are my list of cool gods, the following deities are on the naughty list with reason attached: Hestia (goddess of chastity – no explanation needed), Artemis (goddess of childbirth and the plague – covering both ends of the spectrum), Apollo (god of manly beauty – men should be rugged and ugly), and Athena (goddess of wisdom – who needs it).

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This was my first opportunity to put Dill in a cocktail and it made for a very interesting drink. Throw in the rogue Ouzo and you never really know what you’ll get. For any Cucumber lovers out there (of which, I am one), this is a martini you have to try.

Greece – Greek Buck

Posted on August 26, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Games We Play

Greece is the birthplace of the Olympic Games, which most of us love every time they roll around and dominate our conscious for two and a half weeks. You don’t even have to be a sports fan to enjoy the Olympics (it helps, but it’s not needed) which has grown to be the landmark athletic event across the globe. And we have the Greeks to thank for all this physical goodness!

The Olympics, held in honour of the god Zeus, were named as such because they took place in Olympia, dating back thousands of years ago. It wasn’t until 1896 that the modern version of the Games took place, hosted by Athens (featuring 43 events, being contested by 280 athletes from 13 countries). The term Olympiad refers to the four year period between Olympics and became a unit of time measurement for Greeks.

From humble beginnings (the first recorded Olympics only included one event: the stade (where we now get the word stadium from), a 192-meter foot race based on the size of Zeus’ foot), the world’s biggest sporting event now showcases countless sports and within them, a number of different disciplines. The ancient games were said to have been started by Hercules (aka Heracles), who ran a race that he decided should be repeated every four years. I wonder if that story will make it into any of the Rock’s new movies based on the character.

It wasn’t until many years and Olympics later that other events were added to the slate. The diaulos, a 400-meter race and the dolichos, either 1,500 meters or 5,000 meters. Later additions included the petathalon (five events comprised of a foot race, long jump, discus, javelin, and wrestling), boxing, chariot racing, and pankration, a no-holds-barred wrestling and boxing hybrid that sounds like a precursor to mixed martial arts.

The last event added to the ancient Olympics was the hoplitodromos, a 400-800-meter race run wearing full armor, including shields, helmets, and all the other suit pieces. Competitors were likely to have fallen repeatedly thanks to their own outfits, as well as the discarded pieces of other racers. I’d love to see something like this run today, for sheer entertainment purposes. It would be like Wacky Racers for world-class athletes.

Events were originally contested by only freeborn Greek males. Not only were women not allowed to participate in the sports, but married women couldn’t even attend the Olympics. Competition winners received an olive branch instead of a gold medal. I wonder if they still wore it around their neck and received endorsement deals based on their performance. Perhaps Coroebus, winner of the first recorded Olympics ended up hawking used chariots or something.

Prior to and during the Olympic Games, truces were arranged country-wide to let athletes and viewers pass through cities on their way to Olympia unscathed. Capital punishment and acts of war were banned, although there are accounts of these rules being broken, often resulting in the aggressing group’s exclusion from the Games, as well as a hefty fine.

What has now become a nearly three week long cultural event began as five days, with three being dedicated to sport and the other two to celebrations and rituals. The ancient version of the closing ceremony included a feast of 100 oxens… something I’d like to see return to the modern Games. In the years that the Olympics weren’t being held, there were similar competitions known as the Pythian, Nemean, and Isthmian Games. The Olympics remained the preeminent sporting event.

Athletes competed nude as a tribute to the gods and much like ESPN’s Body Issue magazine series, so people could appreciate the male body. We get the word gymnasium from the Greek word gymnos, which means naked. Kind of makes you never want to do physical education ever again. Some participants chose to wear a kynodesme, which sounds like a really uncomfortable penis cap. Can you imagine the TV ratings if Olympians still had to compete in the buff!?

After Greece was seized by the Roman Empire, Emperor Nero once entered the chariot race and declared himself the winner, despite falling off his chariot during the running. Later, Emperor Theodosius ended the Games, banning all pagan festivals. The Olympics wouldn’t return for 1,500 years, revived by Baron Pierre de Coubertin of France, who also established the International Olympic Committee.

The first Olympic marathon in 1896 was fittingly won by Greece’s Spyridon Louis. It followed the 25-mile path run by a Greek soldier from the city of Marathon to Athens to inform the masses of the Greeks victory over the Persians. Nearly 30 years later, the marathon’s distance was permanently set at 26 miles and 385 yards. No amount of Ouzo could help me through that epic event, but it will nicely wrap up this article!

Greece: Greek Buck

1.5 oz Brandy
Top with Ginger Ale
Splash of Lemon Juice
Float Ouzo
Garnish with Lemon Wedge

One of my greatest pleasures was working for NBC during the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver. I suppose I still owe the Greeks a debt of gratitude for that wonderful winter month!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I never know how an Ouzo cocktail is going to turn out and this one was pretty damn good. Floating the Ouzo was a really nice touch as first of all, it looked good, like white frosting across the top of the cocktail. Next, getting a splash of Ouzo with each sip, followed by the Brandy, Ginger Ale, and Lemon Juice made each taste a new adventure!

France – Between the Sheets

Posted on August 21, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Sensational Skyline

The Eiffel Tower is an iconic symbol, regularly associated with not only Paris, but the entire country of France. The structure can be found in numerous forms of media representing the country and celebrated its 125th anniversary earlier this year. Let’s take a closer look at this mammoth structure:

The Eiffel Tower was opened to the public on March 31, 1889, taking two years, two months and five days to build by 300 workers. It was erected to serve as the entrance to the 1889 World Fair (or Exposition Universelle, since the French always have to put their own twist on titles). While it is an icon of the country today, its construction was protested by French artists and writers, who called it a “hateful column of bolted sheet metal!”

Writer Guy de Maupassant was one of the most vocal haters of the Eiffel Tower, yet was discovered eating lunch inside the setting on a daily basis. He claimed that it was because it was the only place in Paris that he didn’t have to look at the building. Other residents of the city initially viewed the construction as an eyesore.

Although the tower is named in honour of engineer Gustave Eiffel, he wasn’t initially interested in the project. Designed by his company’s engineers Maurice Koechlin and Émile Nouguier, Eiffel only really came on board when the design was tweaked by his head of architecture, Stephen Sauvestre. Then, Eiffel purchased the patent rights for the structure.

A symbol of modern science, for 41 years, the Eiffel Tower was the tallest man-made object (standing at 1,063 feet) in the world, but that reign came to an end in 1930 with the completion of New York’s Chrysler Building. I bet the French regretted giving New York the Statue of Liberty after they were trumped. The tower is comprised of 18,038 pieces linked by 2.5 million rivets.

Today, the Eiffel isn’t even the tallest structure in France anymore. It has been surpassed by the Millau Viaduct, a cable-stayed bridge that connects parts of Millau-Creissels, France over the River Tarn. While it does provide a nice photo-op (if you’re into bridges and such), the Eiffel Tower is still the place tourists flock for their Parisian moment.

The tower was treated with 60 tons of paint to protect from the weather and has been repainted numerous times (about every seven years) since its original covering. It is painted lighter at the bottom of the structure and becomes gradually darker at the top so it looks like one uniform colour, despite atmospheric pressure. On warms days, the Eiffel tower can grow up to six inches, thanks to thermal expansion… does this mean that Mrs. Sip is also thermal expansion!?

The tower’s elevators weren’t running until almost two months after the building opened. Visitors could still enter the structure, but had to climb 1,710 steps to reach the summit. Still, more than 30,000 people were willing to traverse the many flights to get a view of the city. Mrs. Sip and I have talked about doing the stair thing sometime, but I think my laziness will always prevail.

The Eiffel Tower was supposed to be taken apart after 20 years, but it was later used as a radio communications tower, transitioning into telecommunications with the change in technology. The city chose to keep the structure after its permit expired in 1909. A post office, theatre, newspaper, science labs, and even an annual ice rink have also set up shop at the structure.

In the 1920s, con man Victor Lustig sold the Eiffel Tower twice for scrap metal. With forged government documents, Lustig invited six scrap metal dealers to a meeting where they discussed dismantling the run down and expensive-to-upkeep landmark. When the scam worked once without Lustig ending up in jail, he returned to try it again, but this time authorities were summoned. Lustig did get away this time, but eventually found himself in jail, where he died in 1947. His death certificate listed his occupation as ‘apprentice salesman!’

The tower sure is sturdy, surviving wars, fires, and countless visitors. One time when Mrs. Sip and I were visiting the landmark, we even saw some dude relieving himself against the iconic iron! Today, the Eiffel Tower is the most visited pay monument in the world, with over seven millions visitors annually, 75% of which are foreigners.

It may not be the copycat Eiffel Tower located at The Paris Hotel in Las Vegas, but Joe King, an engineering professor from California, constructed a toothpick replica of the famous structure in 1988, using 110,000 sticks. The tower stood 23 feet high. Other imitations include: Tokyo Tower in Japan, Torre del Reformador in Guatemala, Petřín Lookout Tower in the Czech Republic, AWA Tower in Australian, and many more.

France: Between the Sheets

1 oz Cognac
1 oz Triple Sec
1 oz Light Rum
Splash of Lemon Juice
Garnish with a Lemon Wedge

Every time Mrs. Sip and I have been at the Eiffel Tower (with the intent of going up), the weather has been inclement. The first time we ever scaled the monument, the weather was near freezing and windy and even snowed a little. Other times, we have passed on going up because we know it isn’t as enjoyable when it’s wet and cold. On one visit, the weather was gorgeous as we were winding our way through the Louvre line-up early in the day. That afternoon was supposed to be Eiffel Tower time, but as we made our way to the attraction, the clouds burst open and we were thwarted once again. C’est la vie is all you can really say!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
Despite three ounces of alcohol, this drink was pretty damn good. I was worried about how harsh it might be, so instead of using plain Light Rum, I subbed in Torched Cherry Rum and the flavour went very well with the Triple Sec. Both tasted very nice with Cognac as part of the mix and while still potent, the drink was delicious.

France – French 75

Posted on August 19, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Champagne Showers

While I’ve chosen cognac as the spirit of choice while visiting France, that doesn’t mean we can’t devote some time to another well-associated libation for the country: champagne. I’m not the biggest fan of the stuff, but Mrs. Sip loves her bubbles and therefore, this article is dedicated to her and her taste in finer things… like the Sip Advisor!

Champagne was discovered accidentally and through a process that makers in the region are still trying to correct. When the cold weather hits this northern area, the fermentation procedure is interrupted and only continues when warm temperatures return while the wine is already bottled. This creates the carbonation and pressure that champagne is known for.

Dom Perignon is often credited with inventing champagne in 1662, but he had some serious help from a British scientist named Christopher Merret, who broke down the process for creating the libation. Also, British bottles were stronger than the French ones and helped eliminate the likelihood of bottles bursting from the intense pressure of the drink.

In fact, the real Dom Perignon (a Benedictine monk) was one of the many who worked hard to prevent the second fermentation that creates champagne. What Perignon can be recognized for is giving champagne its classic colour. Champagne used to have a pale pink hue before Perignon started the process of blending grapes before pressing them, which caused red grapes to produce a white wine.

In 1813, Madame Clicquot Ponsardin created the riddling machine, which greatly improved champagne production and the quality of the product being released. These machines allowed for bottles to be turned upside down in order to have sediment (dead yeast) removed, refining the second fermentation process. The Veuve Clicquot champagne house still exists today.

Only the bottles produced in France’s Champagne region can be classified as champagne. It is known around the world by such other names as bubbly, Prosecco, brut, and sparkling wine. Today there are over 15,000 grape growers in Champagne, working with pinot noir, chardonnay, and pinot meunier grapes.

Although Double-O-7, James Bond, is best associated with the shaken, not stirred martini, in the films, he is most often seen downing champagne. In fact, the secret agent seems to like his bubbles so much, he has consumed close to 40 glasses. Perhaps Bond, the perpetual sex machine, was drawn to the classic champagne glass, which was designed from a wax mold of Marie Antoinette’s breast.

There are about 49 million bubbles in a typical bottle of champagne. Those suds can cause immense pressure in the bottle (90 pounds per square inch), which can launch a cork at 40 miles per hour. The world record for cork flight is 177 feet. Those same bubbles can cause a headache for drinkers, if consumed too quickly, as they cause the alcohol to enter your bloodstream quickly. Take your time with champagne and enjoy the taste of the wine and the cascade of the fizz.

Need more than a normal sized champagne bottle? How about a lot more? The Melchizedek serving provides 30 liters of the good stuff. That’s equivalent to 40 typical bottles. Despite the massive serving, these bottles pale in comparison to the price attached to some selections. The Shipwrecked 1907 Heidseick will set you back $275,000 per bottle. 200 bottles of the champagne were discovered in 1997, after sitting at the bottom of the ocean for 90 years, presumed to have fallen off the ship carrying it.

Champagne can be used for many other purposes. In the 1800s, English nobles used the drink to polish their boots. Many moons later, Marilyn Monroe is reported to have bathed in a tub filled with 350 bottles of champagne. Had they re-bottled the used bath water, they could have made millions. Instead, today we have a Marilyn Monroe-themed strawberries and cream vodka from Three Olives. I think some companies really missed the boat on this one.

France: French 75

1.5 oz Cognac
Top with Champagne
Splash of Lemon Juice
Pinch of Sugar
Garnish with a Lemon Wedge

Although I don’t love champagne, it is perfect in helping celebrate milestones, triumphs, and even the passing of another day where you made it through alive. Drink up, my little sippers!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Much like Italy, there are a number of liquor options available for France. I went with Cognac because it seemed like a nice way to change things up with this project. This is the Cognac version of the popular Gin-based cocktail that I found in my Mixology App. It tasted alright, but I’m still not a huge fan of Champagne in general.

August 16 – Columbo

Posted on August 16, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Private Dicks

I like a good mystery and these gumshoes have offered some of the greatest examples of sleuthing known to the world. They each employ their own tactics, but the end result is always the same: the bad guy is punished for their crime and the good guy feels some sort of redemption. Here are the Top 5 detectives:

#5: Rescue Rangers

Sometimes, some crimes go slipping through the cracks (did anyone out there sing that opening!?)… and that’s when you need the Rescue Rangers: Chip, Dale, Gadget, and Monterey Jack (plus his little buddy Zipper). This classic Disney Afternoon animation block cartoon sees the legendary Chip and Dale and company solve crimes, such as missing pets and all the other stuff the real police don’t feel like investigating. The gang also regularly battle such villains as Fat Cat and Professor Norton Nimnul. Interestingly, Chip and Dale weren’t even originally planned to be part of the show, but were used to add some established Disney characters to the series.

#4: Ace Ventura

Of the Pet Detective variety, Ace is an unconventional investigator and devout animal lover. When hired to solve the case of missing Miami Dolphins mascot and real-life dolphin, Snowflake, he becomes embroiled in a complex mystery involving a disgruntled ex-player and Dolphins superstar quarterback Dan Marino. Can he crack the case before the Dolphins’ next big game and bring Snowflake home safely? This role launched the career of Jim Carrey and the surprise hit even produced a sequel, When Nature Calls, which sadly didn’t live up to the first film.

#3: Magnum P.I.

Thomas Magnum is a fine private detective. He’s willing to work on everything from cases involving cheating spouses to more serious stuff like drug rings and assassination plots. The former Vietnam veteran gets a ton of help from his buddies TC, Rick and even Higgins, all while living the good life in Robin Masters’ Hawaiian home. Played by the dreamy Tom Selleck, the iconic role had to be good, as he even gave up playing Indiana Jones thanks to the series’ shooting schedule. There has been talk of a movie or TV series remake, but I just don’t know if it could ever measure up to the original.

#2: Sherlock Holmes

Along with his companion (and I don’t mean to make it sound like they are lovers… although I’m sure some have explored this premise), Dr. Watson, Sherlock Holmes is certainly London’s finest sleuth and is perhaps the world’s greatest. The creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Holmes has appeared in countless forms of media. Some of my favourites include the recent movies with Robert Downey, Jr., the current BBC TV series starring Benedict Cumberbatch, and the animated Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century. With Holmes, you must always remember that the game is afoot!

#1: Lt. Columbo

I grew up on the disheveled detective and it’s probably because of him that I haven’t become a criminal mastermind… well, that and to be a mastermind, you need to have a fully-functioning brain. Peter Falk is a god damn legend in my books and all Mrs. Sip can do is roll her eyes when I stumble upon a Columbo mini-movie and have a brief celebration. Although she’s often mentioned, we never see Mrs. Columbo throughout the entirety of the series and we also never learn Lt. Columbo’s first name. Many have speculated that it’s Frank, as it appears when his LAPD ID badge is shown close up. Oh, one more thing, Columbo loves chili as much as he loves solving murders!

Super Saturday Shot Day: Columbo

0.75 oz Campari
0.25 oz Orange Juice
Splash of Lime Juice
Splash of Lemon Juice
Dash of Simple Syrup
Garnish with a Cigar

The Sip Advisor would make a horrible detective. Sure, I like solitude and spying on folks can be fun, but you can only get so drunk while on a stakeout and I would find the job cramping my current lifestyle. Plus, there’s the whole critical thinking aspect and all you little sippers know that isn’t in my wheelhouse!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I’m not sure if this shot (or cocktail I’ve shrunken down to shooter form) was actually meant in homage of the greatest detective of all-time, but I’m using it in that way anyway… there is an Italian connection between the character and Campari, so maybe there’s a match there. And how about that garnish!? Columbo was often seen smoking a stogie, so why not include it with the shooter. It all goes down okay and that bitter Campari aftertaste doesn’t kill like it usually does.

Argentina – Vampire Voodoo

Posted on August 14, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Flea Kicker

Well, Argentina’s World Cup aspirations didn’t turn out exactly as they hoped thanks to the Sip Advisor’s German squad, but the country can still lay claim to the top footballer in the world today: Lionel Messi. Let’s learn a little more about the man affectionately known as La Pulga (The Flea):

Born on June 24, 1987 in Roasario, Argentina (same hometown as communist revolutionary Che Guevara), Lionel Messi has come a long way to being the wealthiest football player in the world. As a young boy, he suffered from a growth hormone deficiency and today he stands at only 5’7”. Good things come in small packages, though, as Messi has benefited from his speed and skill.

The future superstar’s first contract came at 13 years old and was written out on a napkin after Barcelona sporting director Carles Rexach became enamored with Messi’s play and wanted to sign him immediately. With the contract, Messi and his family were moved to Spain with the youngster’s medical bills being covered. Messi made his debut for Barcelona at the fresh age of 17 and became the youngest person to ever score for the team, at the time.

Messi became a citizen of Spain in 2005 and now holds two passports (including his Argentinian documents). La Pulga turned down a spot with the Spanish national team and made his international debut with Argentina in 2005, although it lasted all of 47 seconds when Messi came on as a substitute and was promptly given a red card for an alleged elbow.

Wearing #10 with Barcelona, Messi was given the jersey number by fellow football great Ronaldinho in 2008. The following year, Messi picked up his first Ballon d’Or (Golden Ball) and FIFA World Player of the Year awards. Those two awards were merged in 2010, with Messi winning what is now known as the FIFA Ballon d’Or a total of four consecutive times.

Messi is a scoring machine, racking up a world record 91 goals in a single year. He has recorded a staggering 365 goals, including numerous hat tricks, over his career and is still in his prime years. Messi has received praise from some of football’s greatest players ever, including fellow Argentinian Diego Maradona, who thinks of Messi as his “successor.”

Team accomplishments for Messi include: Three UEFA Champions League wins, Six La Liga championships, two Copas del Rey titles, five Supercopas de España victories, two Club World Cups, and a gold medal with Argentina at the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

You ready to be really jealous of Messi? Thanks to his contract and endorsement deals, it’s estimated that the soccer star earns $128,000 each day. Even better, as part of his pact with Barcelona, the club covers his income tax payments. How can the Sip Advisor get that kind of agreement!

With his substantial wealth, Messi launched the Leo Messi Foundation, which helps provide kids with education and health care. He is also a Goodwill Ambassador for UNICEF and is involved with helping people suffering from Fragile X Syndrome. Some of Messi’s charitable attention has been directed towards his hometown, where in 2013, he donated 600,000 pounds to the Victor J Vilela Children’s Hospital. The money was used to renovate the building’s oncology unit and fund training trips in Spain, for doctors.

In his personal life, Messi has been dating Antonella Roccuzzo since 2009. The two have a child together, named Thiago, who was born on November 2, 2012. This prompted Messi to write on his Facebook page: “Today I am the happiest man in the world, my son was born and thanks to God for this gift!” At just 72 hours old, young Thiago was signed to a supporters club contract with Messi’s original club, the Newell Old Boys. For lovers of ink (and supportive, loving fathers), Messi had Thiago’s name and handprints tattooed on his left calf.

A devout Roman Catholic, Messi met Pope Francis (also from Argentina) at the Vatican in 2013. He said of the experience: “Without a doubt, today was one of the most special days of my life. We have to excel on and off the field.”

Despite the international fame and success, Messi is very shy and has been since his childhood. He does most of his communication through text messages, as he avoids talking on the phone as much as possible. Similarly, while most strikers go into epileptic fits when celebrating a goal, Messi is more likely to simply raise both arms in the air, a salute to his late grandma, who he believes is watching over him. Messi does not like to watch highlights of himself, but is a video game enthusiast, so perhaps that’s how he gets to view and appreciate his own virtual achievements. Not surprisingly, Messi has been featured on numerous video game covers.

Argentina: Vampire Voodoo

1 oz Malbec Wine
1 oz Gin
Splash of Lemon Juice
Splash of Lime Juice
Garnish with Raspberries

One last tidbit: Ginza Takana, a jeweler in Japan has created a solid gold replica of Messi’s left foot. The piece weighed in at 55 lbs. and was valued at $5.25 million. The proceeds of its sale are meant to help victims of the 2011 Tōhoku earthquake and tsunami. That’s an artifact every Argentinian football nut would surely covet!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (1.5 Sips out of 5):
As I wrote before, Malbec cocktail recipes aren’t easy to come by. Therefore, I adapted this generic Red Wine cocktail to use that beautiful 1884 Malbec. Sadly, this drink was a complete miss. One or more ingredients just wasn’t right. I still can’t figure out if the Lemon or Lime Juice was to blame or if the Gin just wasn’t hitting the right chord. Either way, I have to say that I didn’t fall under the power of Vampire Voodoo.

Argentina – Sommelier Martini

Posted on August 11, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Tango De La Muerte

Argentina is birthplace of the sexy tango dance style… or at least it claims to be and that’s good enough for the Sip Advisor. I’m a horrible dancer. I mean down right god awful. That said, I’m a decent writer and am probably better suited for creating an article about tango than performing it. So, let’s get right to it:

Tango’s long road to legitimacy began in the streets and brothels of Buenos Aires in the 19th century. Many immigrants came to Argentina to better their lives, but this resulted in there being 100,000 more men than women as of 1914. Therefore, to spend time with a lady, you had to either go to a brothel or a dance. The Sip Advisor would have probably taken the easier route, but those who think they can dance would have tried to ply their craft in a more traditional sock-hop style.

The tango is rife with notes of passion, sexual tension, and yearning. It has been described as “a vertical expression of a horizontal desire,” which to me sounds like my daily existence and advances towards Mrs. Sip. Because of sexuality exuded in the scandalous dance, upper class folk looked down upon the tango and from the years 1955-1983, while a conservative coup was in power, the sensual dance was forced to hide itself underground. Dancers were jailed and songs were banned until the oppressive power was forced out due to losing its popularity.

In Europe, tango arrived in 1912, first in Paris, of course. The dance that could feature improvisation and broke the trend of dances having fixed movements and everyone doing the same thing quickly spread across the country. When the upper class of Buenos Aires learned of how popular tango had become abroad, they brought it back to Argentina to be enjoyed in its homeland.

While American Tango is an offshoot of Argentinian Tango, the two are quite different. The American version is the one all you little sippers are probably familiar with, involving larger steps and more theatrics, commonly seen in competitions. The Argentinian style is tighter and on a smaller scale, likely used at social dances to woo prospective bed mates.

A milonga can either mean a tango variation with no pauses or the term can be applied to a club that hosts Argentinian tango dances. Here, rookies and veterans can share the floor and get their groove on, trying out new maneuvers or learning the art form.

Dubbed the ‘Dance of Love,’ the word tango comes from either the Latin word tango or the Portuguese word tangere, which both mean “to touch.” There are actually a number of different tango adaptations today, including Ballroom, Oriental, Liso, Orillero, Apilado, Canyengue, Salon, Nuevo, Finnish, and Chinese, as well as the aforementioned Argentinian and American.

The basic tango consists of five steps taken to eight beats of music: slow, slow, quick, quick, slow. This has made the dance style easier to learn, plus it plays very well when trying to get your lady in the mood (although the Sip Advisor has always preferred a little bumping and grinding).

For the 1978 FIFA World Cup in Argentina (which the home country won, as opposed to their recent defeat at the hands of my Germany!), Adidas designed a special ball for the tournament and named it Tango. The ball was used again in 1982 for the World Cup in Spain, with the ball receiving the altered title Tango Málaga.

Author and entrepreneur Timothy Ferriss set the Guinness World Record for most tango spins in one minute in 2007. With partner, Alicia Monti, the two took to the Live with Regis and Kelly stage and completed 37 spins, breaking their own record of 27 set in Buenos Aires in 2005.

Tangolates is an exercise that combines Pilates and tango into one aerobic workout. Developed by Tamara Di Tella in 2004, The activity is said to vastly help those who have suffered nervous system dysfunctions and uses partners and rhythmic music in the process.

A number of hit movies include tango scenes, including Scent of a Woman, True Lies, Evita, Moulin Rouge, Chicago, and even Schindler’s List of all films. Now that I’ve revealed that list, I expect Mrs. Sip to force me to watch each and every one of these entries. Perhaps it will lead to some amore!

Argentina: Sommelier Martini

1 oz Malbec Wine
1 oz Vodka
Top with Orange Juice
Splash of Lemon Juice
Dash of Simple Syrup
Garnish with an Lemon Twist

Perhaps if I can slam back enough of these cocktails, I can be ready for some dirty dancing… and then again, perhaps it’s just better if I drink myself into such a stupor that the idea of shaking my groove thing goes right out the window!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
Wow, I never thought it would be so difficult to find Malbec-specific recipes. That said, I found this little gem and it was quite good. Mrs. Sip and I love the 1884 Malbec I used so I at least knew the base would be great. I thought about using different flavoured vodkas with the drink, but in the end went with a straight version, so as not to have too many tastes competing with each other.

August 2 – Red Headed Princess

Posted on August 2, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Ginger Snaps

Last week, we looked at the best male gingers. While I can’t say that redheads do much for me, I know they get the blood boiling for many men out there and I even I have to admit that some of them are on fire. This will basically be a list of the hottest gingers (save for the top pick, who makes the list because she’s an iconic personality), so if that’s your thing, you can thank me later!

#5: Mystique – X-Men

Particularly played by the vivacious Rebecca Romjin (although, I suppose Jennifer Lawrence holds her own, as well), Mystique is beautiful, despite her blue skin. In the X-Men world, there’s also Jean Grey if you’re into reds, but she’s too straight-laced. If you’re going to go ginger, you want one that has an edge and you’ll find that with Mystique. Not to mention, if you ever grew tired of the redhead look, the shape shifter could always turn into something new to spice up your love life!

#4: Ariel – The Little Mermaid

The Little Mermaid still gets some guys all hot and bothered to this day… perhaps it’s that scene in the movie when she first washes ashore sans clothing. That, or it’s the fact that she can’t speak that may help some fellas along! I don’t know how things would really work (I’m not an anatomical expert, after all) given her half-fish lower end, but if there’s a will, there’s a way!

#3: Mary Jane Watson – Spiderman

MJ is the ultimate tease. Always calling Peter Parker “tiger” and shizzle like that. She does actually get together with the web slinger (and I don’t mean for that to sound as dirty as it does), although their relationship has its tragedies. Somehow, the new millennium movies failed to make MJ nearly as sexy as she is in the 90’s cartoon. It could have been the casting of Kirsten Dunst, but I think the writing played a large role in diminishing that charatcer’s sex appeal.

#2: Rogue – X-Men

Of course, I’m thinking of the cartoon version of the character (no knock to Miss Sookie Stackhouse), whom I’ve been a fan of for a very long time. The southern belle attitude, skin tight uniform, and passionate flair all total one sexy mutant. You’d certainly have to find a way to get over the whole not being able to touch her bare skin and her only being able to touch you with gloved hands, but relationship do require sacrifices!

#1: Lucy Ricardo – I Love Lucy

Lucy would likely drive any potential partner to an early grave given the misadventures she always seemed to become embroiled in. That said, Lucille Ball was a comedic genius and some of her bits from the venerable I Love Lucy show are still remembered today. Ball was also a shrewd business woman and established an empire and legacy that has kept her name out there long after she passed. Lucy was truly a national treasure and a legendary redhead.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Red Headed Princess

0.5 oz Jagermeister
0.5 oz Peach Schnapps
0.5 oz Cranberry Juice
Garnish with a Watermelon Chunk

Some honourable mentions have to be handed out to Ygritte from Game of Thrones, Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, Poison Ivy and Batgirl from Batman, and Black Widow from The Avengers. It’s funny how many of these hot reds come from the comic world, where I suppose they’re just more respected… that, or geeks are willing to drop their standards a little!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
Mrs. Sip and I both didn’t feel comfortable using the popular shooter Red Headed Slut, so we went with the Princess option… stay classy, right!? I found it interesting how the Peach Schnapps settled into a thin layer at the bottom of the shooter. It was a really good shot that mixed sweet and sour and went down incredibly smooth!

Korea – Lotus Flower

Posted on July 31, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

While a ‘Cult of Personality’ can be attached to many of the world’s leaders throughout history, it seems to be best attached to the Kim dynasty of North Korea. What exactly is a ‘Cult of Personality,’ you might be asking? Well, my little sippers, this takes place when a figure uses tools such as propaganda to fabricate a heroic image, worthy of worship… kind of like what the ol’ Sip Advisor does to be viewed as the coolest liquor baron on the internet… successfully, I might add! Let’s take a look at how each North Korean leader (ahem, dictator) since Kim Il-sung has accentuated their legacy:

Kim Il-sung

Viewed as a god and creator of the world, statues of Il-sung began going up around North Korea just one year into his reign, totaling over 40,000 at the time of his death. Attaching the terms ‘Great Leader’ and ‘Supreme Leader’ to Il-sung became regular practice in 1967, after his son Kim Jong-il began working with the state propaganda and information department.

Il-sung has been solely credited with defeating the Japanese and ending their occupation of Korea, despite aid from other forces. Among the accolades Il-sung received, was a ‘Double Hero Gold Medal,’ which obviously overshadows the Sip Advisor’s recent ‘Single Hero Gold Medal’ presentation. Any praise from fellow leaders was over-dramatized to make Il-sung look well-respected by the international community.

In many schools, a separate room – known as The Kim Il-sung Research Institute – was constructed specifically for lectures about Il-sung. Newspapers, textbooks and other periodicals included messages and instructions from Il-sung, while buildings were plastered with an image of Il-sung in proportion to the size of the structure. Il-Sung’s birthplace was viewed as a pilgrimage site and perhaps most diabolically, there is a flower named after the dictator. Yes, the Kimilsungia actually exists.

Upon Il-sung’s death, Jong-il set the mourning period for three whole years. This meant folks weren’t allowed to drink (among other requirements) and were punished if caught breaking the code of conduct. This would not have bode well for the Sip Advisor. Jong-il even moved the start of time up to his father’s birth on April 15, 1912. That means, according to the Kim dynasty, the existence of humans is only 103 years old (there is no zero year).

Kim Jong-il

If you thought Kim Il-sung was bad, just wait and see what his son got up to. While Jong-il was actually born in 1941 in the Soviet Union, history has been rewritten so that Jong-il’s birth took place in his father’s secret base on Mount Paektu in 1942 (because that extra year of youth made Jong-il that much more bad ass) and the whole event caused the seasons to change from winter to spring, a star to shine brightly in the sky and the fabled double rainbow to appear.

Following in the footsteps of his dear ol’ dad, Jong-il was viewed as the son of a god or ‘Sun of the Nation.’ Followers believed that Jong-il had the ability to control the weather based on his mood and since he always looked glum or angry, I guess Koreans were in for a routinely inclement climate. Like his father before him, Jong-il also had “research institutes” built at schools for teachings about himself. About 40,000 of these rooms exist across the country for the legacy of father and son. Jong-il also had a flower created in his name: the Kimjongilia.

Among the outlandish achievements attributed to Jong-il were that he could walk and talk before he was half a year old and that his fashion sense was sweeping across the globe, which would be pretty spectacular since I always saw the guy wearing military outfits. During Jong-il’s time at the helm, approximately 300 articles each month were written by the country’s two major newspapers, furthering the ‘Cult of Kim’… and we don’t mean Kardashian.

Showing Jong-il’s power, even in death, it was reported that masses of ice exploded on Mount Paektu and a snowstorm touched down in the area upon the leader’s passing. The typical 100 days of mourning followed and while many were spotted publicly grieving, those who failed to show sadness met with serious repercussions, including death.

Kim Jong-un

The current leader of North Korea came into the public eye in 2010, when he was referred to as the ‘Young General’ and later ‘Respected General,’ all achieved despite no military training whatsoever. Efforts to build the new dictator’s personality cult have included various forms of propaganda and his similar physical appearance to his grandfather has helped.

A 560-meter long sign, visible from space, saying “Long Live General Kim Jong-un, the Shining Sun!” was built after Jong-un’s succession. In a scene right out of The Lion King, Jong-un even had his own uncle executed to help build up his own profile.

The Rest of the Clan

Kim Hyong-jik, the father of Kim Il-sung has been described by propagandists as the leader of the Korean independence and anti-Japanese movement in his time, while Il-sung’s mom, Kang Pan-sok, has been called the ‘Mother of Korea.’ Both claims are disputed by most historians.

Kim Jong-il’s mother, Kim Jong-suk has been memorialized in wax, as a figure of the International Friendship Exhibition (which also houses hundreds of thousands of gifts from foreign leaders, given to the Kims, showing their reverence outside the country’s borders). She is also promoted as a revolutionary, a war hero, and a leader in the emancipation of women in Korea. All this, despite being unnoticed prior to her death and Il’sung’s rise to power.

Other Notes

By law, pictures of statues that feature any of the Kims must include the entire bust and cannot be cropped in anyway. It is also customary during certain holidays to bring flowers or other gifts when visiting the effigies and present them to the sculptures.

If you plan on living in North Korea, make sure you erect a photo of each of the deceased leaders, as it is a requirement of the law. Additionally, the wall you use for the portraits must otherwise remain bare and you will be required to clean the pictures daily with specialized wipes. The photos of the former dictators will follow you everywhere if you’re a citizen of the country, as you are required to wear a pin above you heart when out and about. Lastly, photos in newspapers of the Kim family are no to be thrown away, but instead they are to be collected and returned… probably so someone else can throw them away.

I suppose Valentine’s Day isn’t big in North Korea, as that’s the date they celebrate Kim Jong-il’s ascension to ‘Generalissimo of the Democratic Republic of Korea.’ Also unlike Valentine’s Day and other holidays, these events are mandatory to attend and include parades, sports, and dances. On the birthdays of Kim family members, the state media will show films about the respective figure and citizens are not allowed to talk during the broadcast or fall asleep until the airing is over.

Korea: Lotus Flower

1.5 oz of Soju
Top with Pineapple Juice
Splash of Lemon Juice
Dash of Simple Syrup
Dash of Honey
Garnish with Lemon Wheel

Ironically, I unknowingly wrote this article on the 20th anniversary of Kim Il-sung’s death. I feel this is a fitting tribute to the entire dynasty’s legacy… otherwise known as: if anything bad happens to the Sip Advisor, the Koreans did it!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
This may be my favourite Pineapple Juice cocktail of all time. Despite the full shot of Soju, this martini was quite light and the Pineapple and Lemon Juices were allowed to flourish while you get your buzz on. You’re supposed to use Agave Nectar, but I chose to combine Simple Syrup and Honey instead and it was a great sweetener combo.

Sip Advisor

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