About Daniel Wilson

I love making drinks for my friends and family, and, of course, sampling my concoctions myself! Finding and playing around with recipes is a favourite past time of mine and I hope to share that passion with all my readers.

March 29 – Poker Face

Posted on March 29, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

A Day in the Life

I wouldn’t call myself a Sin City expert, but I know a number of good places that are must-hits when visiting. If you follow my layout for a day out and about along the Las Vegas strip, it will be very difficult for you to keep your poker face (P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face). I dare you to try and keep up with the ol’ Sip Advisor.

Pool Time

I have very little need for breakfast… unless it is of the liquid variety. After sleeping in, Mrs. Sip and I usually meander our way to the hotel pool, where the first order of business is to order a bucket of beers, before relaxing in the sun for a couple hours. No need to rush around yet, we have tons of time left on the clock.

I guess my invite got lost in the mail…

PBR Rock Bar – Planet Hollywood/Miracle Mile

It’s time to show off that tan you’ve been working on all morning, as you hit the street in search of strippers and blow… or in our case, pulled pork and Dorito-crusted mac n’ cheese! The servings here are massive, so it might be beneficial to split a meal or a couple appies. That way you can pig out throughout the day and not gorge yourself on one entrée. The best part of this location is you can sit on the patio and you can even sit on their patio area where you can people watch the zoo known as Las Vegas Boulevard!

Hyde Lounge – The Bellagio

With your tummy nice and full we venture across the street for some libations. The beauty of this joint (aside from the servers’ skimpy outfits) is that you can watch the wondrous Bellagio fountains against the back-drop of the Paris, while sucking back your bevvy! Like much of the strip, drinks can be a little pricey here, but it’s worth the splurging for the total experience.

Mon Ami Gabi – The Paris

While there are practically hundreds of dinner possibilities on and off the strip, it’s okay every once in a while to treat yourself to something on the fancy end of the spectrum. Get dressed up, enjoy some wine and lobster, and appreciate good company at this fine establishment. It also has killer sea scallops gratinées dish I fully recommend trying. If you’re lucky (or wait long enough) this restaurant also has a great patio for another round of people watching with the Bellagion fountains in the background.

Entertainment of Your Choice – Anywhere

It’s showtime! There are way too many options to choose from in Las Vegas. Whether you’re looking for comedy, magic, singing and dancing, or awe inspiring circus acts, the city has all the bases covered. Regardless of your budget, you can find a show that fits. There’s even a ton of stuff you can see all around the place that is free to all visitors, such as the Mirage Volcano, Fall of Atlantis (Caesar’s Palace), Show in the Sky (Rio), The Sirens (Treasure Island), Fremont Street Experience, and the previously mentioned Bellagio Fountains.

The Pub – Monte Carlo

Dueling pianos, plus $2 beers and shots of Jameson… you had me at hello. You never greeted me? Don’t really care, I’ll have two beers and two shots and for the missus, a stirring round of ‘Summer of 69’ by Bryan Adams (I like to enlist sexually suggestive songs to help me in wooing Mrs. Sip!). This place is always jamming and finding seating is not very difficult.

Sugar Factory – The Paris

It’s 2am and you have liquor to blame for your chocolate craving. So, you head over to the Sugar Factory, where the art of dessert has never been so exquisite. Share a gourmet fondue or sweet pizza with your loved one. They have regular food, too, in case you’re looking to satisfy your “fourth-meal” requirement. And if you want to keep your buzz up, why not try one of their signature goblets, martinis or cocktails… that will do the trick.

Well, it might be time for bed now… if not, you’re welcome to hit any one of the 24-hour buffets, food courts or a late night lounge. But guess what! Providing that you’re not going home that day, you get to do the whole nine yards (literally, if you buy nine yard-long drinks) again tomorrow!

Drink #88: Poker Face

1.5 oz Captain Morgan Spiced Rum
Top with half Pineapple Juice and half Cranberry Juice
0.5 oz Grand Marnier floated on top
Garnish with a Pineapple Wedge

This is basically – with a tweak or two – the outline of my and Mrs. Sip’s 10-year dating anniversary in 2012. What adventure will we get up to this time around? Surely it will be the subject of a future blog post, so look out for that!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This drink turned an interesting colour when all the ingredients came together. I’m so dedicated to garnishing drinks nicely that I took an expired can of Pineapple Wedges, just to use one for the photo. The taste was good, especially with the Grand Marnier floated at the surface.

March 28 – Vegas Bomb

Posted on March 28, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Vegas or Bust

Well I’m off to Vegas tomorrow, which is a favourite weekend getaway for Mrs. Sip and me. So with our trip quickly approaching, I’m turning my mind to one of my favourite drinking trends: public consumption. One of my favourite things about Las Vegas is the opportunity to drink in public. Nothing beats walking along the strip on a nice warm day with a cold 40 oz beer in your hand.

Grab a drink, hit the strip, party… it`s as easy as one, two, three!

While liquor is available everywhere in Vegas, ABC Stores are great for cheap beer, liquor and even little bottles of wine for Mrs. Sip (I know, she embarrasses me too!). There’s even a jaunt you can do in the Miracle Mile shopping centre where you can grab a beer at one ABC, enjoy it as you walk through the mall and make another pit stop to refuel as you hit a second store deeper in the complex. Hell, it’s the only way I can get through the pain of shopping.

Drinking on the street in Vegas was a graduated learning process for us that evolved on each subsequent trip. First we started off with the hotel bought frozen drinks in crazy plastic shaped containers that you see everyone carrying around (we figured that the hotels are selling them to you, so it must be okay to walk around with).

Then we progressed to aluminum beer cans (aluminum is like plastic, right?). But the beers we really wanted were in bottles. So finally we took the plunge, bought a few, and dared to see if we would be challenged with our glass. As we exited one of the ABC stores, we realized that our beer bottles weren’t twist tops – a huge mistake on our part. As we tried to decide whether we should go buy an opener, a security guard began to approach us. We were quickly relieved to learn she just wanted to help us pop the tops of our drinks! Viva Las Vegas!

I’ve now advanced beyond beer in Vegas and instead I often like to grab a mickey of something and a mixer, take a swig out of the mixer bottle and drink my way through the entire combo as we go along. Mrs. Sip took advantage of one of these afternoon buzzes, by getting me to pose like a drunk for photos on the replica Brooklyn Bridge outside New York, New York. Little did I know that I was mimicking the exact pose of a real drunk behind me. Thanks babe!

Even celebrities drink on the strip!

Walking the strip, you get quite the eclectic group of people and that means a mix of drink ideas and opportunities. You get your beer guys and gals, your frozen drink enthusiasts, your hard liquor folk, and the dreaded sobriety demons (who you can recognize because they are usually yelling scripture at you and informing you that all sinners go to hell… too late!). It is perfectly fine to taunt these men and women, unless they are designated drivers… we here at The Sip Advisor are cool with DDs and support that cause.

Just writing this post makes me want to be there right now… I only hope my money can last the long weekend!

Drink #87: Vegas Bomb

0.75 oz Crown Royal
0.75 oz Butterscotch or Peach Schnapps
1 Red Bull

Simply drop your shot into the glass of Red Bull and slam that sucka’. We don’t leave for Sin City until tomorrow, but we couldn’t resist getting all crazy and into the spirit of things!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Drop shots can be fun, but messy. That was the case with this particular one, as the shot glass tipped sideways when I dropped it into the big glass. I went with Butterscotch Schnapps for the sweet portion of the shooter, but you could also use Peach Schnapps.

March 27 – Loopberry Splash

Posted on March 27, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

You Will Get Wet

I usually try to theme each day’s post in relation to the featured drink. Today’s subject may be a bit of a stretch, but given the word “loop” and “splash” are there, I wanted to discuss my favourite amusement park rides from around the world. So, let’s secure our personal belongings in the seat front pouch and hold on for dear life!

Crush’s Coaster – Disneyland: Paris

When you combine a kid’s movie with a turbulent rollercoaster, you satisfy all of my needs! This attraction takes guests through the East Australian Current, riding on Crush the surfing turtle’s shell. What starts out as a normal coaster turns (literally) into a very memorable one, when your vehicle begins spinning with the gravity and speed created by the ride track, at one point going into a dark room that gives space mountain a run for its money. Mrs. Sip and I are continually surprised the ride hasn’t been picked up by any of the other Disney parks.

The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man – Universal Studios: Islands of Adventure

This is one of those classic 3-D movie attractions, but with the twist that you move from scene-to-scene in your ride vehicle. You speed, web sling, and plunge through the streets of New York, watching Spidey battle the Sinister Syndicate. Spider-Man rules, so this attraction gets bonus points on that fact alone.

Riddler’s Revenge – Six Flags

I’m not sure why so many attractions are trying to gain revenge on their riders (Montezuma’s Revenge also comes to mind), but this stand-up coaster is a wonderful salute to the Batman franchise and the insanity of Edward Nigma. Highlights of the actions include the pumping techno soundtrack and the vertical loops that wraps around the launch lift.

Jurassic Park – Universal Studios: Hollywood

I never really got the obsession with Jurassic Park until I rode this water ride. Everything starts off all nice and normal as you take a relaxing trip through pens belonging to many herbivore dinos. That all takes a drastic twist when your boat goes off course and you enter raptor cages, with the looming threat of an accidentally released T-Rex. Before you know it, the only route to safety is a dramatic plunge into the cold waters below.

The Four Mountains – Disney Parks

Splash Mountain, Space Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain, and Matterhorn Mountain are some of the original amazing E-ticket attractions to exist and are must hit rides for any visit to the Disney Parks that house them. Without these tracks, so many other advancements in theme park technology would not have been possible.

Ghost Rider – Knott’s Berry Farm

When they warn you not to go on rides if you have back or neck problems, they were probably thinking of this attraction. It’s a classic wooden rollercoaster that spans the parks and even crosses over into the parking lot. The wildest part about it is that you’re constantly ducking your head, thinking that it’s going to get sliced off by the beams above.

Toy Story Mania – Disneyland: California Adventure

The rapid advancements in ride technology are amazing. This attraction brings out the competitive spirit in riders as you compete with your mate and all other guests, in fact, to record the highest score possible. Throw on some 3-D glasses, and shoot at as many targets as possible on the screen in front of you before moving on to the next Midway challenge. Each ride experience is different, providing you don’t mind waiting 40 minutes to an hour in line for this popular attraction!

Valhalla – Blackpool Pleasure Beach

I refuse to buy ponchos for water rides… that totally defeats the purpose. But in this case, as we watched ride attendants vacuum water out of each boat that arrived at the loading zone, we were happy we’d taken the advice to grab a couple. I’ve never been so drenched, in my life… even with the damn poncho. Had it not been a dreary English spring day, we would have rode the ride – which featured a ton of special effects, as well as going backwards in a log flume – again, but as it was, we were already chilled to the bone.

Hollywood Rip, Ride, Rockit – Universal Studios: Florida

Rides that have their own soundtrack are amazing… but how about a ride where you get to pick the song of your choice, which is perfectly edited for the duration of the track. You can pick from rock, rap, country, dance and just about everything else. There are even hidden songs that you can access. That will keep the guests coming back for more, looking for the perfect jam to their experience.

Drink #86: Loopberry Splash

1.5 oz Three Olives Loopy Vodka
Top with half Cranberry Juice and half Ginger Ale
Garnish with Lemon Wedge

While there are many theme parks we have yet to visit, this is a list of some of our favourites thus far. Sadly, I had to leave so many rides I love with all my being off this list. Hopefully I can squeeze them into a future post.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
The final drink in my trilogy of Loopy Vodka recipes was pretty decent. The mix of half Cranberry Juice and half Ginger Ale was good and worked well with the spirit. I should have done more with the garnish, but I guess I got a little lazy.

March 26 – The Crush

Posted on March 26, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Sir Mix-A-Lot

I like to think of myself as an equal opportunity mixer and that is why I love playing with ingredients that don’t often get placed into cocktail recipes. Here are some of my favourites to work with and some I have yet to try, but am itching to crack open!:

Root Beer

My first favourite pop when I was a wee lad, I still enjoy root beer and now I can take that love to a whole ‘nutha level with my cocktail mixing. Root beer adds a different flavour to recipes, compared to other dark pops. The hint of vanilla can be a very nice touch and add a twist to any number of drinks. Barq’s, A&W, Mug… it don’t matter which one you’re using. They’re all good around these parts; just make sure to practice safe mixing.

Apple-Lime Juice

This has got to be one of my favourite grocery store finds in recent years. Every single drink I make with this juice turns out amazing. This all coming from a guy who used to be completely friends-off with apple juice after medicine I was once given to knock me out looked like apple juice, smelled like apple juice, but brother, it wasn’t apple juice. That reminds me, I need to grab another carton of this elixir!

Cream Soda

Imagine my surprise when I bought a can of Fanta cream soda recently and it came out clear. Thinking that my vision had finally quit on me after years of television and computer screens (plus the aforementioned drinking problem), I checked with Mrs. Sip to see if this was actually the case. I had expected the usual pink colour that accompanies cream soda, but this new clear look can be a good thing. It means that there is an option if you want the flavour, but not the colour. So, be careful if you want to make a pink-coloured drink to get cream soda that is actually dyed this hue.

My boys Ernie and Bert enjoy a cream soda… this could have been a telling sign, if you catch my drift…

Orange Crush

I’m shocked that orange-flavoured sodas don’t get used in more drinks. By comparison, one bartending website has 86 recipes for orange soda (and very few that actually interested this Sip Advisor), while there are a whopping 2,360 concoctions featuring orange juice. Today’s drink is an original recipe, which I hope you’ll all enjoy… I know I did.

Watermelon Juice

I have a can of Arizona watermelon juice that I’m just dying to experiment with. I love watermelon and cry on a daily basis when it’s out of season as I go through watermelon withdrawal. Sure you can still get your hands on the juicy fruit (not the gum), but you’ll probably pay an arm and a leg for it and good luck making drinks hopping around the bar with one hand to hold the shaker. What will I make with this juice… stay tuned to find out!

Drink #85: The Crush (An Original Sip Advisor Recipe)

1.5 oz Wiser’s Spiced Whiskey
0.5 oz Peach Schnapps
Top with Orange Crush (or other Orange Soda)
Garnish with Orange Slice

Perhaps we should hold a reader vote to find out which rare mixer I use next… I welcome your comments, although I’ll likely just go ahead and pick a winner on my own volition!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
Using Orange Crush for cocktails has rekindled my love for this type of soda. Here, it tasted well with the Peach Schnapps and Spiced Whiskey and I’m glad I thought of combining the three ingredients. Definitely one for fans of the hue.

March 25 – Babbling Brook

Posted on March 25, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Sweet Serenity

Today’s drink had me turn my mind towards serenity. For me, total relaxation can be best achieved with a cocktail in hand, laying on a pool float, the sun beaming down upon me, and the sounds of rock n’ roll filling the air. If the pool was surrounded by naked ladies, well, that would be nirvana. I’ll settle for serenity, though.

Yeah, this is pretty close!

Sure there are other methods to achieving peace within oneself. For example, those CD’s (can you remember compact discs!? They’re only about $5 each in stores nowadays… at least they can double for cheap Frisbees) filled with relaxing, tranquil sounds: ocean waves, babbling brooks, gentle rain, sounds of nature, etc.

Then there’s meditation and yoga. I get that yoga can be a good stretching tool and can help with relaxation, but anyone who thinks yoga is exercise is probably a yoga instructor or form of yoga. I did yoga once and was pretty bored. Perhaps it’s because I hadn’t started drinking yet. I was also waiting for someone to let a fart slip out and when nobody did, the comedy element to the whole thing was missing. Don’t even get me started on hot yoga. If I wanted to sweat, I’d eat a pile of meat and go for a jog. Man that would smell gross.

Speaking of jogging, going for a nice long walk can often clear the mind. This is about half true in my neighbourhood, where you always have to be on a vigil lookout for dog poop, homeless people, idiot’s texting and walking, idiot’s texting and driving, and so many other pedestrian obstacles. Maybe if you live out in the burbs this will work better, but not so much for us city folk.

Mrs. Sip likes to read to relax. She says it allows her to escape into a fantasy world, to which I often reply (with very little success) that I have a few fantasies that we could venture into together. She just doesn’t understand that guys have needs like someone baking chocolate chip cookies for them while they watch Saturday morning cartoons and take frequent cat naps.

I wish this was part of Mrs. Sip’s fantasy collection…

Personally, I think we have to look to our pets for good relaxation techniques. Cats sleep like 30 hours each day. When they’re not passed out, taking up half the couch, despite their tiny frames, they’re usually snuggling up to someone and trying to get a good spot for their next snooze. And we think we’re their master…

In closing, use whatever you think works for you: a cup of hot tea, a trip to the spa, a quiet night in, a bubble bath (the Sip Advisor looks really good all sudsy)… you get the drift. Namaste!

Drink #84: Babbling Brook

1.5 oz Raspberry Vodka (I used Absolut)
0.5 oz Blue Curacao
Top with Sour Mix
Garnish with a Lemon Wedge

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I liked this cocktail with its sweet and sour taste. The colour of the drink was really neat and I enjoyed the foamy effect produced when shaking the mix.

March 24 – Red Alert

Posted on March 24, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Border Jumpers

About 75% of the Canadian population lives along the Canada-U.S. border. This is a tease for these Canadians, as the United States gets products that just can’t be found up here and what you CAN find in both countries usually comes in at a much lower price point south of the border.

For example, Cherry Dr. Pepper, used in today’s bevvy, has been available in the U.S. for a couple years now. In Canada, it is still advertised as a new product, having just hit store shelves in 2012. Cherry Coke, despite existing for decades has never popped across the border to say hi and same goes for Vanilla Coke (previously available in Canada), Mello Yellow, and unique spin-off flavours of Fanta, Mountain Dew, Snapple, etc.

If Gene Simmons is okay with it, why did Canada take so long?

If Gene Simmons is okay with Cherry Dr. Pepper, why did Canada take so long?

Pop (or soda as the Yanks prefer to call it) isn’t the only thing us Canadians have to chase down on trips to the States. There are a number of chocolate bars that can’t be picked up at the local Canadian convenient store. Pay Days (a Sip Advisor favourite), Coconut M&Ms, Butterfingers, and Heath Bars, form the bulk of this list. Although we do try to make up for Butterfingers by substituting Crispy Crunch and Heath by having Skor. And apparently, up north, we do have the market cornered on Coffee Crisp, Smarties, and Aero (all Nestle products)… even Kinder Surprise (eff the chocolate, I love getting little toys!). And I’ll never figure out why it’s two Reese Peanut Butter Cups in each American package and three in Canada… but I’m not complaining.

Recently I compiled a couple blogs about cereals and their slogans. For example, don’t bother looking for Trix in Canada… although perhaps the Trix Rabbit should take refuge in this country to avoid all the loser kids rubbing it in his face that the breakfast is not meant for him. I’m surprised the poor guy hasn’t gone on a breakfast-stealing rampage through an elementary school. Similarly, Apple Jacks cereal was once sold in Canada, but no longer share store shelf space. Cookie Crisp was apparently banned in Canada, which really pisses me off. How can a country ban Cookie Crisp, when its most famous culinary dish is the curd- and gravy-heavy poutine?

Books, dairy (particularly cheese), meat, fruits and vegetables, cigarettes, gas, tires, and most junk food top the list of items that are way cheaper in the U.S. than Canada. Here are some other cross border notes:

Seagram’s Gin, despite once being a Canadian-owned company, is no longer sold in Canada
Canadian Netflix sucks compared to the U.S. version, causing many subscribers to manipulate their systems allowing access to the American subscription
Hulu and other TV and movie streaming services will not work in Canada, where we are told they are not available in our region… despite us sharing the same region as the U.S.
Stores you can’t find in Canada: Barnes & Nobles, Trader Joes, Victoria’s Secret, Macy’s, and Nordstrom’s (although rumour has it that at least one Nordstrom’s is crossing the border to downtown Vancouver and apparently the International terminal of Vancouver airport now hosts a Vicky’s)
Restaurants exclusively serving the U.S.: White Castle, Cheesecake Factory, In-N-Out Burgers, Carl’s Jr., Jack in the Box

Yowza, we really need Victoria Secret in Canada!

Perhaps some of these items will finally be available in Canada with Target stores coming to the Great White North, but if not, I have no issues taking a trip down to the States to load up on Pay Days, Cookie Crisp, Victoria’s Secret lingerie (for Mrs. Sip, of course) and a meal or two at Jack in the Box.

At least we have Tim Horton’s, White Spot (in Western Canada), Ketchup Chips, Kraft Dinner, Swiss Chalet, and Hickory Sticks. I don’t really see Americans coming to our fair country for any of these items (although they should, especially for the White Spot Legendary Burger, Mmmmmm). Americans will probably just order most of these items online and have them shipped for free, while us suckers in Canada always have to pay extreme taxes and fees for the same service.

Drink #83: Red Alert

1.5 oz Whiskey (I used Crown Royal)
Top with half Orange Juice and half Cherry Dr. Pepper

To my Canadian brethren, I ask, what do you like to grab on trips to the States? To my friends from the south, is there anything you like in Canada that you can’t get from home? Do you even travel to our little country? Hit me back!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I’m a big fan of the Cherry Dr. Pepper pop and it probably saved this cocktail It was neat to see the Orange Juice and Dr. Pepper mix together and luckily we were able to snap some good quick photos of the effect.

March 23 – Windshield Wiper Fluid

Posted on March 23, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Gross Income

Having the opportunity to travel and live abroad has also brought opportunities to try new, weird, and different flavours. After you read this list, you will question the fact that I was a picky eater when I was younger. Over the years, my tastes have expanded and my willingness to try seemingly anything has skyrocketed. I blame the constant liquorization of my body, mind and spirit, but other theories do persist. Without further ado, here are the oddest things I’ve personally eaten.

Escargot

In France, our tour group was offered this French delicacy and this was at a time when my tastes were just evolving. It probably didn’t help that the snails were simply served on a bed of green leaves and looked like someone had just picked them out of the garden. As Mrs. Sip and I approached the serving tray, there was only one more shelled snail available. I was elected to try the hors d’oeuvre and while Mrs. Sip snapped pictures of my eating experience, I learned that escargot actually tastes pretty good… with a nice garlic butter sauce, of course, to mask the whole slimy snail bit.

Frog Legs

This was a menu item on one of the first cruises Mrs. Sip and I took and the server was kind enough to put in an order for us to share, on top of our other appetizer selections. These weren’t bad, although I can’t remember what kind of sauce they were done in and there wasn’t much meat to them. Sometimes the “tastes like chicken” expression actually holds true. The only problem is the legs looked like… well like long, dead frog legs. Still, it was fun to give them a whirl and cross it off the “foods you have to try” list.

Cheese

Okay so I hear you wondering, how is cheese classified as odd? Well I hate cheese. Just downright detest it. I don’t mind it in most melted situations like on pizza, nachos, and grilled cheese sandwiches, but even then, I prefer a mild form, like mozzarella. In recent years, I’ve tried to buck this childhood trend and try some more adventurous options. Some have been okay, while others not so much. Smoked Gouda on a sandwich went well, as did feta on Greek salads. Bleu cheese on a pizza however, while eaten, was not enjoyed.

GUILTY!!!

Fried Rattlesnake

I’m deathly afraid of snakes, but when I was younger, only seven years old, I mustered the courage to try fried rattlesnake when my family was travelling throughout the old west. This was another one of those “it tastes like chicken” cases and we were even given some dried rattlesnake bone, along with a certificate saying we tried the delicacy, as keepsakes.

Oysters

While I’ve had many of these in recent years and some have been tasty, I still don’t get the whole buzz around them. You swallow whole, a slimy lump of indeterminate origin, which you’ve packed various flavours onto to mask the actual taste, and this is supposed to be an aphrodisiac? Quite frankly it sounds very similar to the end result of most dirty movies to me. Why are most girls okay with oysters, but not the other thing… you know what I’m getting at.

Drink #82: Windshield Wiper Fluid

Rim glass with Sour Apple Pop Rocks
0.75 oz Blue Curacao
0.75 oz Sour Puss Apple

So, I bet you’re asking what The Sip Advisor still won’t eat. Well, I still largely avoid cheese in most situations and I think yogurt is disgusting. Sadly, Mrs. Sip’s diet largely consists of dairy and so we don’t see eye to eye on a number of these items. I’m more awesome than her though (as if it still needs to be written), so my say goes (or so I like to tell myself).

Would I ever actually drink windshield wiper fluid? My head says no, but my heart says give it a shot (poison warnings be damned)!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
A light and very tasty shooter. Blue Curacao and Sour Puss Apple have contrasting tastes that mix well. The Sour Apple Pop Rocks were a fun addition to the recipe.

March 22 – Southern Frost

Posted on March 22, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Meteoro-losers

Straight up: I hate weathermen, weather reports, weather gossip, weather channels, weather balloons, weather vanes (also hilariously known as weather cocks), and generally anything else having to do with weather reporting or prediction.

Mrs. Sip, on the other hand, is always updating me on what the weather will be like where we live and most frustratingly, what it will be like during our next vacation destination a month before we’re set to be there (I think this trait is hereditary, so hopefully it’s not passed down to our children… *shudder* children). Weather guys and gals can’t even get their forecasts right the day of, so how the hell can they accurately predict what the weather will be like a month ahead of time?

In any other industry, if you were wrong more than half the time, you would be fired and never work in that field again. For some reason, meteorologists get a pass and I’m not cool with that. But what’s more bizarre is that WE KEEP LISTENING TO THEM! (And I obviously do not include myself in that “we” because I’m clearly in the small percentage of the population who has leveled up and evolved beyond weather reporting).

I say the only way to check the weather is to look out your own window and examine what the sky is doing at that present time. If you live in a stable environment, then this should be all you need to do for weeks at a time. I live in a volatile, urban, rainforest (kind of wish I lived in the Rainforest Cafe), where you can have multiple weather patterns in a single day. Still, the check-out-your-window process works fine for me.

I think a fitting punishment for all weathermen would be for them to be sucked into their own green screens and be mauled by the various monsters that have come to life thanks to CGI special effects. The hotties that are put into the role of weatherwomen, regardless of education and training, can be spared, provided they perform their duties in the buff, going forward. Now there are some chances of precipitation I can get behind!

I can’t believe there’s a whole channel dedicated to weather. What do I care if it’s snowing in Eastern Canada or if there’s a heat wave in Dubai? The Weather Channel should be turned into another sports channel, giving airtime to games like Dodge Ball, Ultimate Frisbee, and Hackeysacking. It could be called ESPN Stoner and it would be a haven for advertisers like Doritos, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut and Red Bull (I may have said too much now. I call dibs on the sports channel idea).

Back to weather reports, I think we can all agree that it only provides entertainment to seniors and for that reason alone, I suppose we can allow it to continually exist. I have great respect for our elders and I want them to enjoy a happy retirement and twilight years… they’ve earned it. *Sniff* Now I’m getting all emotional. Let’s get on with today’s drink.

Drink #81: Southern Frost

1.5 oz Southern Comfort
Top with half Cranberry Juice and half Ginger Ale
Garnish with an Orange Slice and a Raspberry

Quite frankly, the only weather phenomena I want to hear about is one that I can drink. At least it will help me get through the daily weather report. God speed!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
While the drink tasted great, I was especially happy with the garnish job I put together. I’ve found Southern Comfort to be a really solid liquor contribution and the combo of Cranberry Juice and Ginger Ale works really well together.

March 21 – Bottle Cap

Posted on March 21, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Penny Candy Perfection

I’m sure everyone can remember back to his or her childhood – liquor-decimated brain cells be damned – to the days when a trip to the local convenience store with your allowance money was special. Well, maybe this doesn’t apply to kids nowadays who seem to be ushered around everywhere and are never let out of sight of their helicopter parents. Do they even know the rush and reward of walking to get candy, blowing your allowance all in one place and finding that perfect treat for the walk home? Probably not, but that doesn’t mean us kidults can’t reminisce. Here were some of my favourites:

Double Bubble

I remember the odd time when the Sip Household would have one of those big tubs of Double Bubble chewing gum. Once, I had so many back-to-back pieces of the gum – hell, we were making gum sandwiches and burritos with the stuff – that I got a massive headache from all the chewing. This was the first of many brain injuries (as I’m sure you can tell) and led to a placement on the injured reserve list for months. Yeah, that last joke was about as funny as the comics they packaged with the gum!

Shockers

God bless the Wonka candy company (makers of Nerds, Runts, Gobstoppers, etc.), which capitalized on the popularity of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (book and movie). Shockers can certainly be credited for every cavity that has ever been filled in my mouth. These extremely sour, but fun to chew candies never lasted long around The Sip Advisor headquarters. Each of the five Shockers flavours – sour green apple, blue raspberry, grape, orange and cherry – tasted great, which often can’t be said for candy packs. There’s usually one slacker flavour that doesn’t pull its own weight, but not with this treat.

Pixy Stix

Man, kids are stupid. I remember acting like Pixy Stix were some kind of drug. Myself and friends would shoot a bunch of sticks before a hockey game and we were probably sugar buzzing so high that we’d come out, have a couple good shifts, and then crash hard. If the small “snack size” sugar packets weren’t enough, you had to upgrade your dose to those massive two-foot long tubes and before you knew it, you were a junkie.

Jelly Tots

When I decided to put together a candy table for my wedding last summer, I started to gather some favourite treats from past and present. When I found a package of Jelly Tots, I was instantly reminded of how much I enjoyed them in my youth. It had been a while since I’d had any, my need for candy replaced by liquor desires in my teens. The candy table was a hit, a highlight of the wedding, I dare say. Well, it was largely demolished by the time I and the rest of the wedding party returned from our photo excursion. I still managed to get some Jelly Tots, though!

Bottle Caps

What today’s drink is all about! The only thing that sucks about Bottle Caps candy are the grape-flavoured ones, which taste worse than most cough medicines. And it always seems like there are a disproportionate amount of those terrible death-tasting grape candies in each box. Give me more of the Cherry, Root Beer, Orange Crush and Cola pieces and sub out the grape candies for a lemon-lime soda tablet. Hell, throw in a Red Bull flavor… anything but yucky grape.

Drink #80: Bottle Cap

1 oz Root Beer Schnapps
1 oz Raspberry Liqueur
Splash of Sweet & Sour Mix
Top with Cola
Garnish with Sour Soother

Thankfully, I still get a weekly stipend from Mrs. Sip, specifically for penny candy. It was part of our prenuptial agreement and I’m thankful every day that I had that written in. You can’t see me!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This drink tastes exactly like a Bottle Cap candy. It’s not very heavy on liquor, which can sometimes be a nice change of pace. I wish I could have garnished the drink with an actual Bottle Cap, but it was made impromptu, so I settled for a yummy Sour Soother. C’est la vie!

March 20 – Blue Memphis

Posted on March 20, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

River City Rampage

While Mrs. Sip and I have travelled extensively, Memphis (in the great state of Tennessee) is a place neither of us has visited. While today’s drink can only do so much to take us there, here’s some attractions I’d like to see when I finally make my way to the Mid-South:

Graceland

Whether you’re a fan of Elvis or not (but come on, who doesn’t at least have some appreciation for The King?), any visit to Memphis would require at least a pit stop at his former home, Graceland. There, we can see Elvis’ collection of cars, his private planes, and a museum dedicated to the legend. A definite highlight would be viewing the toilet he apparently died on and the TV he shot at in a drug-induced rage. Ah, the memories. Perhaps we could even stay at the nearby Heartbreak Hotel to complete the experience!

National Civil Rights Museum

Oddly located inside the hotel where Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated, visitors can learn all about the American Civil Rights Movement and how it changed the world we live in today. I guess using the hotel isn’t the worst idea. After all, who would ever stay there again after it was the site of King’s murder? Although, perhaps, the owner’s missed the boat on an opportunity to rent rooms to ghost hunters and other creeps.

Beale Street

Home to the annual Beale Street Music Festival, this is likely where your honourable Sip Advisor would go for his daily dose of life’s elixir (known to the common folk as alcohol). There are few things that beat the mix of good music and good drinks… perhaps good sex and good drinks, but I’m still conducting thorough research on the subject.

The Pyramid

If you believe that you’ll never be able to travel to Egypt (especially if you don’t like to be molested by 12 year old peddlers, angry mobs, or camels) and the glitz and glamour of Las Vegas frightens you, than Memphis is your next best chance to see one of the world’s largest pyramids. This famous sports and entertainment venue is the sixth largest pyramid in the world behind four in Egypt and the Luxor Hotel in Las Vegas. Now it’s been turned into a massive Bass Pro Shop fishing store, but that just means you can get in for free!

BBQ

I’m a huge fan of southern barbecue, so you can bet your sweet bippy that I’ll be chowing down on pulled pork, brisket, chicken and all the sides a man could ever want (cornbread, cob, slaw, tater salad) every chance I get. By the time I get back home, I hope to have a permanent barbecue sauce stain around my mouth. I’ll wear that like a badge of honour. No need for souvenirs, I already got mine!

Basketball

Whether it’s checking out some college hoops (University of Memphis Tigers) or the professional ranks (Memphis Grizzlies), a fan of the hard court can definitely get their fill here. I never attended a Vancouver Grizzlies game when the team played here (in fact I’ve never been to a NBA game ever… some sports journalist am I, right?), so I guess seeing them in Memphis would be kind of sacrilegious. Oh well, doing the wrong thing is what I do best.

Wrestling Scene

Home to one of the hottest territories during professional wrestling’s 1980’s heyday, Memphis is where grappler Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler (too bad he and Elvis never battled over the moniker), and legendary manager ‘Mouth of the South’ Jimmy Hart got their start. The group consistently sold out the Mid-South Coliseum with bloody clashes and suspenseful storytelling… old school style!

Mississippi River

Finally, why not end your vacation by floating down the mighty Mississippi (M-I-SS-I-SS-I-PP-I) aboard a riverboat. You can pretend you’re Tom Sawyer or Huck Finn, sneaking onto the ship and causing havoc. Hopefully this riverboat also offers gambling, where I can bet my plane ticket home and leave me and Mrs. Sip stranded.

Drink #79: Blue Memphis

1 oz Malibu Rum
0.5 oz Blue Curacao
Top with half Pineapple Juice and half Milk
Garnish with Maraschino Cherry on a Pineapple Toothpick

As you can see, the recipe didn’t turn out as blue as advertised… so I guess it’s more of an Aqua-Marine Memphis. It still tasted pretty good, regardless of hue. Nashville, you’re up next!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I don’t think Milk and Pineapple Juice should be combined… really any juice I can’t see working well with the calcium goodness of Milk. This drink was largely saved by the Malibu Rum and Blue Curacao. Much thanks to liquor!

Sip Advisor

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