Italy – Sunday Confession

Posted on July 17, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Goodfellas

The term “mafia” comes from Sicily, Italy, and let’s be honest, the most famous of mobsters all hail from the Italian line of organized crime, also known as Cosa Nostra, which translated means “Our Thing.” And, it certainly is THEIR thing. While the term ‘Omertà’ governs the mafia with a code of silence, the Sip Advisor is breaking all the rules with our own ‘Most Wanted’ list of infamous Italian gangsters:

Vito Cascioferro

Thought of as the ‘Boss of Bosses’ during his reign at the top, Cascioferro was arrested approximately 69 times during his career, but always acquitted. His luck ran out in June 1930, when Cascioferro was tried for numerous offences, including murder, attempted murder, robbery, extortion, and other offences. He was convicted and given a life sentence. He died in prison somewhere between 1943-45, with many inmates considering it an honour to now fill the same jail cell.

Calogero Vizzini

Dubbed the ‘King of the Black Market,’ Vizzini was even made mayor of Villalba, Italy (where his crime family was based), following World War II. Vizzini’s death was big news, even reported by the New York Times. Thousands turned out for the leader’s funeral, including other bosses, politicians, and priests. Vizzini predicted that the mafia would die with him and the old-school version did slowly dissolve, but was replaced by a more modern mob that we recognize today.

Michele Navarra

The boss of the famed Corleone family (also used for the Godfather movies) from 1944-58, Navarra was also a trained physician and perhaps this is why he was more likely to delegate murders than commit them himself. Navarra was killed on August 2, 1958 after feuding with former associate Luciano Leggio, whom Navarra tried to have ambushed by 15 gunmen, yet somehow Leggio survived with only minor injuries. I’d question his leadership, too!

Luciano Leggio

Speaking of Leggio, he became the Corleone boss following Navarra’s death and is credited with starting the Second Mafia War. After a string of acquittals on various charges, Leggio finally found himself sentenced to life imprisonment for Navarra’s slaying, but disappeared, running a successful kidnapping ring while on the run. He was finally caught in 1974, but continued to have influence over the syndicate from behind bars. He died in prison, of a heart attack in 1993.

Salvatore Riina

After Leggio was arrested in the 1970’s, Riina eventually took over control of the Corleone family, which was ironic because he was one of the suspects in the assassination of Navarra. Riina was considered the ‘Boss of Bosses’ following the Second Mafia War. Nicknamed ‘The Beast,’ by fellow mobsters, this 5’2” leader used a campaign of violence to achieve power, killing rivals, as well as prosecutors and other government officials. Riina was arrested in 1993, after 23 years as a fugitive.

Bernardo Provenzano

One of the most powerful Sicilian bosses of all-time, Provenzano followed Riina as leader of the Corleone family. Once at the helm, Provenzano worked to change the perception of the mafia to being less violent, more diplomatic and willing to work with established institutions. Under the new guidelines, violence was only to be used if absolutely necessary. Despite all that, Provenzano spent more than 40 years evading police capture, before authorities finally arrested him in April 2006.

Italy: Sunday Confession

1 oz Limoncello
1 oz Tequila
Splash of Lemon Juice
Top with Ginger Ale
Garnish with a Cherry

This all has me wanting to go back and watch some of the best mafia media. Take your pick, but my favourites include The Godfather franchise, Goodfellas, The Sopranos, and Donnie Brasco. Perhaps I’ll have to do a future article on fictional mobsters… so long as they make me an offer I can’t refuse!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This cocktail has a perfect name for a mafia-related article, although confession would certainly go against the Omertà code of silence. I used Cranberry Ginger Ale instead of the recommended Ginger Beer because it seemed like a good idea and it worked out really well. Limoncello and Tequila was a decent mix, too.

June 21 – Pearl Necklace

Posted on June 21, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Grand Theft

There’s a lot of different ways this shot could be approached, but we here at the Sip Advisor always take the high road… BOOBIES!!! Okay, now that I have that out of my systems, here are the top five greatest heist movies (I bet you didn’t see that coming!):

#5: The Ladykillers

To clarify, I’m talking about the 1955 British black comedy and not the 2004 remake starring Tom Hanks. Sadly, that film has been looked upon with some contempt, but I don’t remember it being that bad. Anyhoo, this rendition stars some of Britain’s finest actors – Alec Guinness, Peter Sellers, Herbert Lom, etc. – as thieves who take advantage of a lonely, elderly woman to pull of an armoured car heist. As many real-life heists unravel, the thieves turn on one another and in the end, the one you’d least expect to walk away with the loot ends up holding the entire fortune.

#4: A Fish Called Wanda

Filled with numerous twists, double crosses, and a horde of oddball characters, this comedy shows just how greedy folks get when potential riches are at stake. The film was a success both critically and commercially, with Kevin Kline winning an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. John Cleese and Jamie Lee Curtis are also memorable in their roles. Unfortunately, when the stars reunited for a sequel to the surprise hit, they really dropped the ball. Fierce Creatures featured the same main cast, but playing different characters with some tie-ins to A Fish Called Wanda.

#3: Gone in 60 Seconds

I’m the furthest thing from a car guy and even I loved this movie. I have not seen the original, but the remake starring Nicholas Cage, Giovanni Ribisi, and some never-heard-from-again woman, is a high-octane thriller that you don’t have to know the make and model of each vehicle to enjoy. Cage plays Memphis Raines, a former car thief who has gone legit, but is dragged back into the seedy underbelly of Long Beach, California in order to save his brother Kip (Ribisi), who has botched a recent heist. To make amends, Memphis and team have to locate and steal 50 specific vehicles in a 72-hour period.

#2: Inception

Here’s a twist on the heist genre… breaking into someone’s psyche and planting an idea that will change their way of thinking going forward. Every scene of the film will keep you guessing as to what the results will be as they explore the human mind. You can’t go wrong with a cast that features Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy, and other notable actors. The cliffhanger ending is also appropriate, leaving audiences wondering whether the mission was a success or if the mind thieves failed to make it out safely.

#1: Ocean’s 11

Whether we’re talking about the Rat Pack original or the George Clooney-Brad Pitt remake, both films are cinematic gems and while they share the same name, their stories vary greatly. The basic plot sees Danny Ocean gather a group of fellow thieves to pull off a Las Vegas casino heist. The results are different in each film and thanks to the 41-year span between movies, the technology is so vastly different and changes the difficulty, particularly for the remake. Being a member of either of these casts would be an honour, so long as you dropped out before the remake’s sequels.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Pearl Necklace

0.5 oz Raspberry Crème Liqueur
0.5 oz Amarula Cream
0.5 oz Tequila
Garnish with a Raspberry

I love me a good heist movie… the suspense, the scheming, the action. What’s your favourite? I need to go watch some of these films again and plan out my own multi-million dollar windfall!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
There are a couple variations of this recipe, but I went with what seems to be the most widely accepted version. Even then, I altered the shooter based on the ingredients I had on hand and wanted to play with… kind of like a real pearl necklace! I used Raspberry Crème Liqueur instead of Tequila Rose and Amarula Cream over Bailey’s Irish Crème. To keep the shot boozy, I added some straight Tequila. The results were good and as expected, this was a tasty dessert-style shooter.

Mexico – El Diablo

Posted on April 10, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Ancient Civilizations

While this may take on the look of a history class, we’ll try to liven things up with human sacrifices, monuments to the gods, the seven wonders of the world, and mystical mythology. All in a day’s work around the Sip Advisor offices! At recess we can even enjoy some tacos, burritos and enchiladas. So, take your Pepto or Tums, it’s time to get a little freaky with the various cultures that make up Mexico’s history:

Olmecs

These fine people worshipped a god that was half human and half jaguar. It had no name, so I’ve supplied my own: the humuar! You laugh now, but just wait and I bet those thieves writing modern Scooby Doo episodes will eventually steal this title. The Olmecs (now best known for the Olmeca Tequila brand… although I have no verification of this!) developed large parts of the eastern coast of Mexico and can be credited with sculpting the famed Colossal Heads.

The Olmecs have more origin stories than some comic book characters, including tales told in popular culture that they originated from Africa. Most researchers don’t find these accounts to be very credible, but the same could be said for many super heroes. The concept of zero is said to have been developed by the Olmecs, meaning we have them to blame every time we run out of money, food, lives, etc. Before this civilization came along, everything was infinite and unlimited and they went ahead and ruined all our fun in the name of mathematical accuracy.

Most importantly, Olmec culture was used for the 90’s Nickelodeon game show Legends of the Hidden Temple!

Aztecs

Usually nomadic, the Aztecs settled in Mexico after spotting an eagle standing on a cactus, clutching a snake in its talons. The image represents the sun, the heart, and the earth, respectively and is now depicted on the country’s flag. Like the Olmecs before them, the Aztecs were big into human sacrifices, believing that without blood, the sun would stop moving and the world would come to an end. During a sacrifice ceremony, the heart of the victim (although they’d have you believe there were volunteers) would be cut out and burned in the temple. The heart was known as “precious eagle cactus fruit,” which should be released as a liquor flavour.

The Aztecs were a bloodthirsty civilization, sacrificing anywhere from 10,000 to 50,000 people per year. Ruler Montezuma II even killed 12,000 of his own people in one day. Not content to just enjoy sacrifices as entertainment, the Aztecs played a ball game called tlachtli… although the losers were often killed off to appease the gods. Thankfully, this isn’t the same result after the Sip Advisor’s soccer matches (winless in 2014).

Mayans

The Mayans also played a ball game known as pitz, which is speculated to have featured decapitations, with those separated heads possibly used as balls in the sport. When in battle, the Mayans were known to throw hornet bombs at their enemies, which was an actual hornet’s nest. This is how Macaulay Culkin’s character in My Girl actually died, but the movie covers the fact the Mayans were responsible. Hey, if they used decapitated heads for sport, is a hornet bomb really unimaginable!? The Mayans can be credited with building the Chichen Itza city, now considered one of the seven wonders of the world.

Mayans were perhaps one of the first image-conscious civilizations, but they went about it in all the wrong ways. They would press boards against babies’ foreheads to given them a desired flat surface and cross a young child’s eyes by dangling an object on the bridge of their nose until the desired effect was achieved. Children were named according to the day they were born with a set list for boys and girls that was expected to be followed. Lastly, although they’re always credited with predicting the end of the world in 2012, this is complete hokum (to borrow a line from Sheldon Cooper). The Mayan’s calendar system merely meant that a new cycle would begin on Dec. 20, 2012 and mention of other occurrences past that date do exist in Mayan accounts.

Incans

The Incas recorded their history using a string and knot system, known as Quipu. The Sip Advisor does the same when tying his shoelaces every morning, although those entries are lost every afternoon when the laces are untied and I’ve forgotten to once again jot down the activities of my day. The Incas were prominent users of the coca plant for everything from pain relief to surgeries, energy boosts to appetite suppression. Modern day pop drinkers and cokeheads can thank them for their discovery.

The Incan flag depicts two snakes eating opposite ends of a rainbow with a tassel in the middle. I’d give my best interpretation of what this could mean, but I would surely offend a number of groups and therefore, I’ll leave it be. European diseases such as smallpox greatly destroyed the Incan civilization. The disease was able to spread so quickly because of the empire’s own triumphs, such as their highly-developed road system.

Zapotec

This civilization built cities in the south of Mexico and believed that they came into existence after emerging from caves or transforming into human form from being trees and jaguars. Were the tree people more likely to be vegetarians, while the former jaguars were meat eaters? Ah, the experiments one would conduct if they had a time machine!

The Zapotec also developed the first writing system in the Americas, so we have them to thank for this wonderfully-crafted site, but also them to blame for tripe like the Twilight series. While at war (is that all people ever did back in the day!?) the Zapotecs used a cotton form of armour. I have continued on this tradition, as when I enter battle with Mrs. Sip, I adorn myself with Q-tips, cotton balls, and surgical wrappings. It doesn’t help much, but it has provided many amazing selfie photos!

Toltec

The time of the Toltecs was looked at as a “golden era” thanks to developments in writing and medicine, among other advancements. Both the Mayans and Aztecs highly respected the Toltecs and fashioned themselves after the civilization in many regards. To have a ‘Toltec heart’ was a compliment of the highest respect as it carried the weight of being worthy and excellent at all things. This is a commendation that I have received throughout my life, but only now realize that folks weren’t hurling insults in my direction.

Mexico: El Diablo

1.5 oz Tequila
0.5 oz Blackberry Liqueur
Top with Ginger Ale
Splash of Lime Juice
Garnish with Lime Wedge

So much blood has been spilt in Mexico and we haven’t even got to the drug cartels that run the country today. Oh well, some stories need to be saved for another time!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I was really looking forward to trying out this recipe and it did not disappoint. I did sub Blueberry Liqueur for Blackberry Liqueur because I was curious about how that would work and it came together very well. The best part of the drink was the smoky tequila aftertaste that can only be enjoyed with an anejo version of the spirit. Given this cocktail and Monday’s 5 out of 5 Sea of Cortez drink, Mexico has the best numbers so far for the Around the World tour!

April 5 – Body Slammer

Posted on April 5, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Showcase of the Immortals

WWE WrestleMania has featured countless wrestlers, as well as a host of celebrities in its 30-year history. While the glitz and glamour make WrestleMania the company’s biggest show of the year, it’s the performances of the grapplers that are remembered the most by fans all around the world. Here are the top five performers in WrestleMania’s illustrious history:

#5: Triple H

Given his WrestleMania debut, it was hard to imagine that Triple H (or Hunter Hearst Helmsley as he was known back in 1996) would ever make a list of this type. Then, he was defeated in mere minutes by a returning Ultimate Warrior. Nearly two decades later, Triple H finds himself married to the boss’ daughter and holding an Executive Vice President role within WWE. Triple H became a top draw for the company in 1999 and rode his success to numerous WrestleMania main events, usually defending the World Championship. To this day, he stills appears on the annual card, in one of the prime spots, despite his semi-retirement.

#4: Bret Hart

If you wanted to throw out a lame analogy, you could say that ‘The Hitman’ was the Hart and soul of WrestleMania, especially in its second decade of existence. The Canadian grappler wrestled at each event from 1986-97 and also returned for a one-time battle against WWE owner Vince McMahon at WrestleMania XXVI. During his prime years, Hart’s performances often stole the show, including wrestling two matches at the 10th event, defending the World Title in a 60-minute Iron Man match at the 12th show, and his epic brawl with Steve Austin at the 13th rendition.

#3: Hulk Hogan

The Hulkster participated or played some role in the WrestleMania main event for the show’s first nine broadcasts. He returned to WWE in 2002 and battled The Rock at WrestleMania XVIII, in a confrontation between two of the sport’s greatest icons. The next year, Hogan gained some long-simmering revenge over boss Vince McMahon – the two men who can be most credited with the success of the WrestleMania concept. At six different WrestleMania events, Hogan either defended the World Title or challenged for it. For WrestleMania XXX, Hogan returned from five years away from WWE to host the spectacle.

#2: Shawn Michaels

Dubbed ‘Mr. WrestleMania’, Shawn Michaels always seems to shine the brightest come the big event. While Michaels first WrestleMania appearance was all the way back in 1989, it wasn’t until 1994 when he became a top-level player with his hightlight reel ladder match versus Razor Ramon. Despite losing the contest, the ‘Showstopper’s’ career was launched and two years later, he captured the World Championship at WrestleMania XII. After a four-year hiatus from the ring, Michaels returned to put on a number of classic, show-stealing performances, working with a new generation of stars, like Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle, and John Cena.

#1: The Undertaker

Riding a winning streak of 21-0 at the annual event, the Undertaker continues to thrill audiences nearly a quarter of a decade after he debuted. He has only missed two of the last 23 WrestleMania cards and during that time, has battled every monster possible at WWE’s biggest show of the year, including Giant Gonzales, King Kong Bundy, Sycho Sid, and Kane. He’s also defeated some of the industry’s top names as he’s piled up the wins. Legends like Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Kevin Nash, Jake Roberts, Jimmy Snuka, and others have all fallen to ‘The Deadman’. With each passing year, the streak has become a more integral part of the WrestleMania hype.

Super Saturday Shot Day: Body Slammer

0.5 oz Goldschlager
0.5 oz Whiskey
0.5 oz Tequila

The ‘Showcase of the Immortals’, as they call it, used to be a pretty big deal for the Sip Advisor. While I don’t follow wrestling as religiously as I once did, it is still on my bucket list to one day attend a WrestleMania show. Perhaps The Sip Advisor will grow to the point where I’m even offered a spot on the show and can get my greedy paws on a couple of the WWE Divas!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
This shot was really good and I certainly didn’t feel like I’d just been body slammed. I used Fireball Whiskey to go along with the Goldschlager and that just heightened the cinnamon flavour. I used my cowboy boot shot glass, as it closely resembled a wrestling boot. Thankfully, I still had some mini wrestling figures lying around at Ma and Pa Sip’s house to go along with my diorama and here we see ol’ Stone Cold Steve Austin delivering his trademark stunner to Kane, while The Undertaker prepares to chokeslam The Rock straight to hell!

November 14 – Breaking Bad

Posted on November 14, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Regretful Decisions

Recently, I did a series of articles about actors that probably regretted movie roles they had turned down. Today, I embark on a similar series, but change the medium. We’re looking at TV characters that have been passed up on… usually for the better!

Paul Giamatti as Michael Scott (The Office)

The iconic role that made Steve Carell a household name and launched his movie career could have gone to someone else. Paul Giamatti turned down the U.S.-version of David Brent and focused on his movie career. A few others were reportedly considered for the role, including Hank Azaria, Martin Short, Bob Odenkirk, and even Rainn Wilson, who ended up as the best possible Dwight Schrute imaginable.

Pamela Anderson as Dana Scully (X-Files)

The show would have been much less sci-fi and a little more parody had this poor choice actually happened. I’m not a fan, but the X-Files staff made a great move by going in another direction. You can also bet that if Anderson had taken the roll, there would have been more slow-motion running scenes and the skimpiest outfits possible for a paranormal investigator!

John Cusack/Matthew Broderick as Walter White (Breaking Bad)

I’m a huge Bryan Cranston fan, long before he became a meth-making, cancer-surviving maniac. I even heard one joke that Walter White is Cranston’s character on Malcolm in the Middle after he goes into hiding! Getting back on track, apparently both Cusack and Broderick turned down the role, leaving the door wide open for Cranston. I can kind of see Cusack doing an okay job, but Broderick would have been a long shot to make this work.

Katie Holmes as Buffy Summers (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Good lord I hate this show with a vehement passion. The story goes that Holmes passed on Buffy in order to finish high school (a commendable action), before she joined the cast of Dawson’s Creek the next year (an uncommendable action). Sarah Michelle Gellar had originally auditioned for the role on Cordelia, but thankfully the domino effect introduced the world to Charisma Carpenter, who later posed for Playboy and that’s all that really matters!

Ryan Reynolds and Xander Harris (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Speaking of that which shall not be named, my alma mater homey (The Green Lantern and I attended the same college) saw the writing on the wall and passed on this nerd-captivating show. He has since gone on to become a Hollywood heartthrob, while Nicholas Brendon has gone on to do a variety of work, but nothing near the level of his Xander Harris (the one character I didn’t mind on the show) fame.

John Hawkes as The Governor (The Walking Dead)

I’m not familiar with who John Hawkes actually is (he actually played a few roles you know, you jackass), but I find his reasoning to be sound. He refused the role of The Governor, as he thought someone else could do the character better. Enter David Morrissey, who has provided the character a hauntingly authoritative aura in his battles with Rick Grimes and the other survivors.

Paul Shaffer as George Costanza (Seinfeld)

I can’t imagine anyone other than Jason Alexander portraying Costanza: Lord of the Idiots. Shaffer, best known as David Letterman’s band leader, was left a message from Jerry Seinfled, offering him the role if he wanted it, but due to his other commitments, Shaffer never even returned the call. I just don’t think the show would have been very good without Alexander in the role of Jerry’s best friend.

Drink #318: Breaking Bad

Rim glass with Blue Salt/Rock Candy
2 oz Tequila (I used Hornitos)
Top with Lemonade
Garnish with Lemon Wedges

What will tomorrow’s sequel list hold? Wouldn’t you like to know? And for a small fee, I’ll tell you. Hey, gotta support this project somehow!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I don’t have any major complaints about this cocktail, but it didn’t measure up to many of the drinks I’ve been making recently. I’m glad the Blue Candy Powder rim worked out as it helped with the Breaking Bad crystal meth theme. Tequila and Lemonade are a good combo, so give it a chance sometime.

November 1 – Day of the Dead Cocktail

Posted on November 1, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Burial Blitz

Halloween may be over, but we still have the Day of the Dead to celebrate. What better way to do so than look at interesting burial rituals from around the world! Here are some of the most bizarre:

Dining In (Papua New Guinea/Brazil)

Practiced by the Melanesians and Wari peoples, the ‘Feast of the Dead’ was used to bolster a lasting relationship between a recently deceased person and their loved ones. With the ingestion of the body, that dead person was also making one last sacrifice for the tribe, helping them get over their grief. Along these lines, the Yanomami will cremate a body first before consuming the ashes with a banana paste. Mmmm, that’s good eating!

Soul Searching (Tibet)

The Buddhist believe that the body is just a capsule for the soul to live. Therefore, when a person dies, the body no longer has any worth and is dismembered and left to be eaten by scavengers. Ground burial isn’t really a possibility in the frigid mountains of the region and so this is apparently the best way to deal with the deceased. Just think of all the condos that could be built if we no longer needed space for cemeteries.

Totem Poled (Pacific Northwest)

The Haida would take the bodies of their most respected citizens and crush it with clubs, making it fit into a box similar in size to a suitcase. It would then be placed upon a totem pole, which was to protect the individual and guide them into afterlife. Apparently this left quite the stench, though, as described by original missionaries to the areas. Bears must have also been a problem, as they searched for that ever-elusive picnic basket!

Hard Knock Life (Northern Europe)

The slave girl of a dead high-ranking Viking would be forced to have sex with every man in the village before being strangled to death and stabbed by a village matriarch. She would then be placed aboard a ship, with her master’s body and the ship would be lit on fire. This was all done to make sure the slave would serve her master in the afterlife and the Viking’s life force would be released through the mass sex (known today as rape).

Apparently you all aren’t good with grieving either!

Cliff Dive (China)

The Bo people buried their dead in caskets on platforms that jut out from the side of cliffs in southwest China’s Gongxian County. Why they did this is a mystery, as the civilization was largely wiped out by the Ming Dynasty centuries ago. Today, they are referred to as the “Sons of the Cliff” or “Subjugators of the Sky”. The cliffs also feature murals showing examples of how the Bo lived, similar to the Egyptians hieroglyphics.

Light My Fire (Bali)

This mass burning of bodies is at least followed by a feast of epic proportions, so at least you always have that to look forward to. The Hindu population of the island bury village members as they pass away in a mass grave. When there are enough bodies (I’m not sure of how many constitutes “enough”) the bodies are unearthed and placed on a float, which is showcased around the village (this ain’t no Disney parade), before being lit on fire in the hub of the settlement.

Immolation Sensation (India)

Today, we comfort a widow in the event their partner dies, but back in the day, it was a whole different story, particularly for women. In India, women were subjected to burn themselves to death during the funeral of their husband, in an act known as Sati. Of course, not all participants were willing. Some believe that the Sati was started to make sure wives wouldn’t poison or otherwise dispose of their husband to marry a lover. I hope Mrs. Sip keeps this in mind!

Drink #305: Day of the Dead Cocktail

1.5 oz Tequila (I used 1800 Reposado)
0.75 oz Grand Marnier
Splash of Orange Juice
Dash of Cinnamon
Garnish with Cinnamon-Dusted Orange Slice

Of course, there are many other burial traditions out there, but I found these to be the most interesting. Can you imagine having to take part in any of these? What burial techniques fascinate you? Until next time…

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This cocktail wasn’t that bad. I like how the Cinnamon dusting kicked in at the end of each sip and added some spice and flavour to the drink. The Grand Marnier was my favourite component of the recipe and I feel the orange-flavoured liqueur works quite well with Tequila.

August 10 – Zipper

Posted on August 10, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Shopping Spree

While it may be a favourite summer activity for a number of folks out there (even little sippers), it must be shared that the big cheese himself, the Sip Advisor, loathes shopping.

I feel that shopping is akin to a deadly disease. It has infected numerous victims, male and female alike and it’s coming for me next.

I’m one of those types that only goes shopping when I need something and in those cases, I zip through the store like speedy gonzales on crack (could you imagine?), my mission to get in and out of the store as quickly as possible, avoiding infection in every department. I don’t want to explore every single aisle, or “just browse”.

On occasion, Mrs. Sip and I will venture down to the United States for a shopping excursion, but I’m mostly there for potential liquor and mixer finds, food court enjoyment, and grocery shopping. Being forced to join Mrs. Sip in any of the clothing stores she wants to peruse sends me into child-like temper tantrums. Even when she’s shopping for lingerie at Victoria’s Secret, I work diligently to accelerate the process. “Of course those will look good on you, hon.” Psssh, as if I want to be responsible for her being clothed at all.

In the average year, I’m forced to go on one spring shopping trip (at the vile hands of Mrs. Sip). It’s not like I’m cognizant of this plan, but we do so much travelling that inevitably I find myself in a mall and, without even realizing what’s transpiring, I’m trying on multiple clothing items. With my head still spinning, I’m walking out of the store with new jeans, shirts, and in rare cases, animal print underwear.

I try at all costs to avoid adding to my wardrobe, frivolously keeping items that have well run their course of usefulness. Boxers and socks with holes, jeans with small tears, jackets with non-functional zippers, shoes that should not be worn on rainy days, etc. I try to hide these items from Mrs. Sip through deception and sleight of hand, but the illusion is often eventually exposed… I’m just not that good of a magician.

Of course, everything I’ve written here today goes out the window when I’m liquor shopping. In that case, I want to see everything – sometimes multiple times. I want to examine products, price compare, try things on, make sure I get the right size, and don’t mind blowing up my credit card over a splurge.

If people like other forms of shopping, that’s cool. I’m not here to discriminate. Just don’t drag me along with you. We can achieve harmony, folks… one purchase at a time!

Drink #222: Zipper

0.5 oz Tequila
0.5 oz Grand Marnier
0.5 oz Irish Crème
Garnish with Orange Wedge

So, am I right or wrong in my assessment of the shopping phenomena? Mrs. Sip and I have a little wager going on with regards to this, so please take the time to vote in favour of your buddy, your pal, the Sip Advisor!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I liked the taste of this shooter, especially the Grand Marnier orange liqueur. The mix all went down easy and there was no overwhelming or harsh flavour that I worried about coming from the Tequila.

July 25 – Boilermaker

Posted on July 25, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Beer… The Musical!

There are countless songs out there that could have made this beer playlist, but all you little sippers know that I strive to provide you with the pinnacle of entertainment and in doing so, I can’t include everything. Therefore, I present to you, songs you can get blotto to, the beer edition!

The Beer Song – ‘Weird’ Al Yankovic

Might as well get started with a little humour. I’ve always enjoyed Weird Al, having grown up on the parodist’s work. So long as he isn’t performing one of his polka numbers, I’m down with giving his tracks a chance. The best line of the song has to be “Beer is liquid bread it’s good for you, We like to drink till we spew,” which would have been appreciated even more by adolescent Sip Advisor!

Red Solo Cup – Toby Keith

While not solely used for beer consumption, red Solo cups figure heavily into beer pong and the downing of suds during many a barbecue and party. The song is performed by country star and boozehound Toby Keith, who has so many tracks involving alcohol that he should be the patron saint of all country and liquor fans.

Friends in Low Places – Garth Brooks

“Where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away”… a Garth Brooks classic that somehow became the anthem of my and Mrs. Sip’s wedding… regardless of the live band that played some amazing classic rock covers. This song is perfect for everything from camping to parties, to apparently even the exchange of nuptials. And trust me, we all have friends in low places… our wedding proved that fact!

One Bourboun, One Scotch, One Beer – George Thorogood

I’m not a fan of story songs and this one runs a little long, but the message is what it’s all about. The dude is having a tough day and all he wants is one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer. What’s wrong with that? He’s even drinking them in the proper order of liquor before beer and you’re in the clear. I personally think any beer drinking occasion should begin with this process, to honour Mr. ‘Bad to the Bone’!

Beer Drinkers and Hell Raisers – ZZ Top

Leave it to the wise, beardly ZZ Top boys to slam brews and raise hell. I could see myself totally getting bad ass to this song… which in my realm means slamming a bunch of beers and doing stupid stuff in and around Ma and Pa Sip’s pool. This is a really good tune for anyone that hasn’t heard it before and will probably be my theme music for future beer pong tournaments (I host one every year!).

In Heaven There is No Beer – Soggy Bottom Boys

Well, if this is true, it’s very disheartening. We work our entire lives to be good and virtuous, with the hopes it will get us entry through the pearly gates and into a land of paradise. If we get there and no beer is to be found, well I for one will be one grumpy Sip Advisor. I’m sure much of Sip Nation would feel the same. That’s when we rebel and burn the place down. I bet they serve iced cold ones in hell!

Warm Beer and Cold Women – Tom Waits

Continuing with our downward trend, these could quite possibly be two of the worst things known to humans. Thankfully, for myself, Mrs. Sip is a freakin’ furnace and warm suds have never really been a concern for me, thanks to my great ability to plan and organize beer refrigeration ahead of my arrival. It’s like I’m a god damn celebrity up in here!

99 Bottles of Beer – Everyone Ever

This is probably a good one to end the list with, as it shows just exactly how low we’ve regressed thanks to the pyramid of beer cans we’ve built. Our beer-amid is a gift to the world, more meaningful than the Statue of Liberty, Eiffel Tower, and Leaning Tower of Pisa combined. This tune could take us a little while to get through, so why don’t we just say we did it and head off to bed for that wonderful drunk and delirious sleep we all crave!

Drink #206: Boilermaker

1.5 oz Tequila (I used Hornitos)
Top with Beer
Garnish with Lime Wedge

Hit repeat on Red Solo Cup, drop that Tequila shot into your mug of beer, and slam that sucka!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
What can you say about a shot of Tequila in a Beer that hasn’t already been said? This cocktail packs a punch, but personally, it’s one I’d line up for to get knocked out!

July 17 – Gambon’s Corner

Posted on July 17, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Are You Being Served?

Perhaps it’s my old age, but I’ve found myself increasingly becoming a bit of a stickler for high standards… providing I’m not expected to deliver them! With that in mind, here are the most annoying things about bars:

Troubles Waiting to be Served

It absolutely sucks when you feel that you’re constantly being passed over by the bar staff, in favour of girls who are falling out of their tops and douche bags that are pushy and demanding to be helped. I understand that the bar can get busy, but that’s why queues of any sort should be established. I like the bars where servers work one general area, allowing orders to be processed in a logistical fashion.

Nowhere for Coats

Obviously, this isn’t a big deal during the summer, but I don’t discriminate over seasonal drinking, so it sucks to walk into a bar that only features stools so that you have to throw your coat over your lap or sit on it. I’ve noticed that some joints actually have hooks underneath tables and ledges, allowing you to discard your jacket or other layered paraphernalia.

Lineup outside, Empty Inside

This is a dirty little trick businesses use to drum up business, making it appear like their place is so rocking that people are lining up around the block for the privilege of getting inside. Then, when you do get in, you find the bar, dance floor, etc. to be deserted and you wonder why you ever had to wait to get in at all. Luckily I refuse to wait in line to drink. Why overpay for cocktails I can make myself and waste my time in line when my personal bar is so much better?

Bars that Don’t Announce Last Call

Ever go up to purchase what you think will be your last drink of the evening (at least at the bar… night caps at home are always on the agenda!) and the barkeep informs you that last call has already passed? Well, excuse me… oh no he didn’t… you see, the announcement of last call must be audible to all in attendance and if your establishment is too loud for that (more on that subject later), you should have some sort of bell to impart that wisdom. Otherwise, serve me my god damn drink!

Sticky Floors

When you walk around a bar and you constantly have to pry your feet from the floor, it makes you start to wonder if the hygiene behind the bar matches. How clean is the glassware, the garnishes, the taps, everything? I’m not complaining about a small patch where some jackass just spilled his entire Jager Bomb, but the kind of pub where every step is like Velcro being pulled apart.

People Taking Large Tables for Small Groups

As much as it sucks to walk into a bar and not be able to find a seat, I can live with that (after all, first come, first served), providing people are at tables fit for their party. I understand that grabbing any table that opens up is a huge score, especially if you’ve been waiting a while, but to see two people occupying a table meant for six or eight customers can really be heartbreaking.

Loud/Bad Music

I hate going to places where I can’t converse with Mrs. Sip or any of the friends we may be out with. What’s the point! If we wanted to sit there and listen to music we have no control over, yelling at each other to be heard, and paying for expensive drinks, we should just go to my house. You can donate to the Sip Foundation, while I blast a random iPod, and yell at people about my grievances!

Gross Bathrooms

Given most bars are trying to encourage your appetite for either food, booze, or both, it’s amazing how many places have disgusting bathrooms. Granted, the people drinking in the establishment are really to blame for the mess, but a little regular upkeep will have customers returning to their tables still in the mood for beer and poutine. Mmmm, beer and poutine!

Unisex Bathrooms

Sticking with washroom issues (no, not that kind of issue), whoever dreamt up this idea was a total fool. Guys go the bathroom to get away from the ladies. Otherwise we’d be as rude as we wanted in their presence. And no girl wants to share a bathroom with a dude. They want to keep all their secrets to themselves. Plus, guys love that they never have to wait in line and laugh at the winding queue that usually builds outside the ladies room.

Obnoxious Drunks

We’ve all been there and it’s not a bar’s fault, unless they haven’t done their job to stop serving some twerp, but an obnoxious drunk can be the last straw on whether you stay at a pub or move on to another place. It’s bad when that obnoxious drunk is in your group and they follow you around to every joint you try to hit. Worst yet, if that obnoxious drunk is you, you’ll never be able to escape…

Drink #198: Gambon’s Corner

1.5 oz Tequila (I used 1800 Reposado)
Top with Watermelon Juice
Splash of Lemon Juice
Dashes of Orange Bitters

This drink comes from the Be At One menu I liberated, while on vacation in London recently. It was in this wonderful bar where I first concocted the idea for this post, noting that many other pubs I had visited just couldn’t compare. What draws you ire when you’re out and about town looking for the love of your life, sweet lady liquor!?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I wasn’t sure where to rank this drink. Then I added a little Simple Syrup to the mix to combat how strong the Tequila and Lemon Juice were and we had a hit. For those wondering where the name for this cocktail comes from, that mystery has now been solved thanks to a little research. It is named after Sir Michael Gambon, who completed a Top Gear test track corner (now named in his honour) on only two wheels!

June 25 – Crimson Tide

Posted on June 25, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Do the Dew

Recently, the makers of Mountain Dew began a new promotion where the company released four new flavours of its pop, asking customers to decide which was the best and the winner would stick around. I picked up a mixed pack of the new releases and decided to do my own little taste test, cocktail style. So, I present to all you little sippers, the first in a four-part series of comparing sodas, while also looking at liquors I would love to try… talk about harmony and synchronicity!

Absolut Cities

How do you bottle the essence of a city? Well, Absolut Vodka seems to think they’ve found the perfect blend to describe major hubs around the world, such as Los Angeles and New Orleans, in their Cities series. The LA bottle, for example, features blueberry, acai berry, acerola cherry, and pomegranate, a nod to the city’s healthy lifestyle, while N’Orleans brings together an interesting blend of mango and black pepper. At least the flavours don’t taste like race riots and broken levees.

Cool! Even my hometown of Vancouver has been bestowed a vodka in its own name… the first Canadian city to earn such an honour. Take that, Toronto!!!

Celtic Crossing Liqueur

It is a well-documented fact that the Irish love to drink… and for that reason alone, we love them. I’m pretty sure the small segment of Irish in me is the reason I run this site and enjoy the caress of sweet lady liquor so much. This liqueur is advertised as a blending of Irish spirits (not ghosts, whiskey of course) and cognac, with a taste of honey. It may only be available in Ireland, but with popularity, the drink will surely make the Celtic Crossing, as well.

Dragon Berry Rum

I feel like this spirit would be best enjoyed while watching Game of Thrones and cheering on Daenerys Targaryen. What exactly is a dragon berry, you ask? Well, it comes from exotic dragon fruit, of course. This Bacardi offering combines strawberry with the dragon fruit for a bold flavour that is unmatched by any other liquor. This bottle should be easier to track down than most others thanks to Bacardi’s wide distribution of it.

Oddka Fresh Cut Grass Vodka

This may turn out to be completely disgusting, but I think if given the chance, you’d have to see what it tasted like. Fresh cut grass definitely smells good and is a welcomed sign that summer is here, but how exactly would it taste as a vodka? Along with notes of grass, drinkers have found tastes like honeydew melon, strawberry, kiwi, and aloe while sipping the alcohol. I wonder if it’s all blended together via lawnmower!?

Van Der Hum Liqueur

This South African liqueur is made from Cape tangerines, brandy, plants, seeds and barks. I’m intrigued by it simply because it’s from South Africa (at the top of Mrs. Sip’s current travel wish list) and I need to have a souvenir to look out for when I’m dragged there with her. Hopefully I can get one drink of the sweet stuff in before any number of wild animals gets to me. If I don’t have a rhino or elephant charge at me, I’ll consider it a disappointing vacation!

Drink #176: Crimson Tide

1 oz Tequila
1 oz Whiskey
Top with Mountain Dew: Code Red
Garnish with Strawberries

Join the Sip Advisor tomorrow for another new Mountain Dew flavour and the continuation of liquors I want to try. Perhaps we can go halfsies on a bottle, in the name of friendship, discovery, and getting stupid drunk!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
This was another one of those cocktails that tasted better after the ice got a hold of the mix and diluted it a bit. The Strawberry Slices I scattered throughout the cocktail also helped with flavouring. I’m not sure what exactly was off with the drink, but something was up.
As for the Code Red on its own, it’s much better than in its cocktail form. There is a strawberry taste to the soda, so at least I got that guessing game right. I think the mixer would be better in a drink involving citrus flavours.

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

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