October 11 – T&A Integration

Posted on October 11, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Wardrobe Malfunctions

Who doesn’t love a good nipple slip? How about a crotch shot? Some butt cleavage? Whale tale? With cameras everywhere nowadays, celebrities (and even us normal folk) must always be vigilant with our wardrobe. Here are some of the most famous clothing malfunctions:

Janet Jackson

This is the exposure that started the whole concept. During Jackson’s Super Bowl half-time show, featuring Justin Timberlake, Timberlake went to Jackson to pull something off her outfit only to reveal one of Jackson’s breasts. The incident was dubbed everything from Boobgate to Nipplegate and led to censorship crackdowns, fines and lawsuits. While it was the cause of a national outcry in the United States, here in Canada, apparently only about 50 people complained. I guess we just appreciate titties more!

Britney Spears

The former pop princess showed the entire world how dangerous it is to get out of a vehicle when you’re going commando. Of course, this all occurred around the time questions about Spears mental state were swirling wildly. I don’t blame her for going a little Looney Tunes. I’m a mild celebrity compared to her and I feel the daily pressure and grind to perform for all my little sippers out there. Don’t worry folks, my crotch shot controversy and baby mama dramas are coming down the pipeline!

Wrestling Divas/Knockouts

It is a common occurrence in professional wrestling to get a brief peek at women’s naughty bits; especially given they’re rolling around and getting all physical with each other in the skimpiest of outfits. Some have gone so far as to accuse the promotions of making these incidents not-so-accidental. Whatever the reason they occur, us fans are thankful… it is, after all, the only reason worth watching most female battles… kind of like watching NASCAR and waiting for a crash!

Mrs. Sip

Near tragedy (or pleasure in this case) almost occurred while Mrs. Sip and I were touring Egypt. During a dinner and party, in which all us travelers had to dress in traditional Egyptian garb, Mrs. Sip was selected to join some dancers. She had previously done some belly dancing, so she was open to the opportunity. Problem was, she was wearing a top (that already didn’t leave much to the imagination) that was originally too loose, so she altered it. Moments into her dance, POP goes the weasel and Mrs. Sip has to cover up, hoping nobody caught a glimpse!

Drink #284: T&A Integration

Rim glass with Strawberry Candy Powder
1.5 oz Gin (I used Bombay Sapphire East)
Top with half Fruitopia Strawberry and half Lemon-Lime Soda
Splash of Lemon Juice
Garnish with Lemon Zest

I love how wardrobe malfunctions have been defined by various sources. Wikipedia states: “A wardrobe malfunction is accidental exposure of intimate parts.” The American Dialect Society defines the mishaps as: “An unanticipated exposure of bodily parts.” Chambers Dictionary lists the term as: “The temporary failure of an item of clothing to do its job in covering a part of the body that it would be advisable to keep covered.” Finally, the Sip Advisor describes it as: “Absolutely wonderful and often hilarious.” We’re all right!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This was a very good martini and I have to give a huge shout out to the folks at McDonald’s for carrying the Fruitopia Strawberry mixer as part of their drink station. The Lemon Juice and Lemon-Lime Soda add a nice bite to the subtle Strawberry pop. A tasty treat, indeed!

September 24 – Twister

Posted on September 24, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Roll the Die

Yesterday I discussed my favourite board and card games and sticking with that topic, these are the games I’ve never played. If anyone wants to join me and do a couple rounds of Candy Land or something, just give me a shout. If you’re willing to foot my travel costs, we’ll get this done!

Twister

Never have I ever played Twister… hmmm, I should say that for my next game of Never Have I Ever! I’m not really sure I want to play either, unless it’s just Mrs. Sip and me and clothing is optional. That is one tangled mess I wouldn’t mind being part of. Otherwise, I’ve always appreciated my own personal space and that of others. It could make a fun drinking game through, with those who lose being punished with shots!

Mouse Trap

As a youngster, I owned Mouse Trap, but I’m certain I never actually played a full contest of the crazy contraption game. By the time you had all the traps set up, which could be a total pain to do, you just wanted to play with that and trap all the mousies. Worst of all, the contraption often didn’t work properly. Does anyone out there also remember Grape Escape? It was similar to Mouse Trap, but you were trying to crush Play-Doh grapes with different devices.

Balderdash

With such a wicked name, you think I would have tried my luck at the classic word definition game. As a writer, I feel I would get upset when I suggested a definition for one of the words and it wasn’t selected as the correct one. That’s when I throw all my cards up in the air, drop a couple dozen curse words, and storm out of the party!

Hungry Hungry Hippos

I know what you’re saying: “Surely, you, you stud of studs, must have played Hungry Hungry Hippos at some point in your life.” Sadly, while I remember having friends who had the game and I remember using the hippo to gobble up the little white ball, I’ve never played an actual competitive contest. Something new for the bucket list, I guess. How cool would it be to play a life-sized version of this game? Jumanji!

Chess

I whole-heartedly believe that Chess is beyond my learning abilities. I tried going through a computer tutorial one time, but it didn’t help matters. Once the game started, I just sat there staring at the screen. Then I played an entire round via the computer “suggest a move” option. I still lost! That’s why I don’t believe I’ve ever played the game before.

Candy Land

The children’s classic Candy Land has never been played by the Sip Advisor, despite his love of candy and other confectionary treats. My version of Candy Land is a shopping trip to Walmart, followed by gorging myself on all the delicious treats I’ve just picked up. If we need a little action, I pretend Mrs. Sip is trying to chase me down to steal my goods and I have maneuver to avoid her attacks!

Dungeons & Dragons

In actuality, we are all geeks in our own special way. That said, I can fully certify that I have never played a role-playing game of this magnitude. I have thoroughly enjoyed the episodes of Big Bang Theory that have centered on the fellas playing the dungeon master’s quest. I have to admit, though, that I’m not really into games that you should remain sober for… too much thinking = bad.

Nightmare

This classic VCR-based board game (remember those!?) was meant to spook the crap out of you, but most people just found the video scenes, particularly the host ‘Gatekeeper’ character, to be comedic. Still, I’d love to turn the lights out one time, throw on this game and see if it is at all scary. I bet I end up having nightmares… who wants in on this action!

Drink #267: Twister

2 oz Vodka (I used Pinnacle Strawberry-Kiwi)
Top with half Orange Juice and half Lemon-Lime Soda
Splash of Strawberry-Banana Juice
Dash of Lime Juice
Garnish with Orange Slices

I hope you enjoyed this nostalgic look back at board and card games as much as I did. Which games have you never played? Together we can end that injustice!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This drink was an interesting mix of flavours thanks to all the different juices. The Strawberry-Kiwi Vodka was a nice touch and those notes came through the strongest.

September 9 – Wipeout

Posted on September 9, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Lightning Round

And we’re back… day two of our tour through the wasteland that has become my mind, as we reminisce about my favoruite game shows from past and present. Let’s spin the wheel, make the deal, and get down to some prize-winning action!

Lingo

This great game show is a little reminiscent of Wheel of Fortune (which will not be on this list because Pat Sajak pisses me off!) with the difference being that people try to guess a five-letter word based off of the first letter and any letters they reveal in their guess gets lit up too. After a team wins the round, they choose numbers out of a bin, trying to make a bingo-type line on their scoreboard to win a round. Fun stuff for all ages!

Chuck Woolery gets his balls played with!

Classic Concentration

This is another game show board game that I had when I was younger and I loved it. Players had to match prize panels to reveal the board underneath and then solve a rebus (pictogram) puzzle to win the game. Playing my home version, I loved collecting all the prizes I could and imaging how awesome my future dream home would be. Puzzle solving? Yeah, I was pretty awesome at that, too!

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego

One of the best things about game shows as a kid is that you could actually learn something while being entertained. It is perhaps thanks to shows like Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? that I realized how useless reading really was! I also learned a lot about geography that has since been washed out of my brain by years of alcohol abuse, but I’ll always have the memories… or not. Long live Rockapella!

Supermarket Sweep

The parody they did of this show on Married with Children was amazing with perennial losers, the Bundy family, lying, cheating, and stealing in their attempt to win $1000 worth of free groceries. There was also a version geared towards kids that involved toy shopping at Toys R’ Us. The show was called Super Toy Run and it allowed children the chance to gather as many action figures, dolls, games, and other gadgets as they could in a five-minute window.

Stump the Schwab

This sports trivia competition pitted contestants against Howie Schwab, a statistician with ESPN who really knew his stats! My only complaint about the show is that it was heavy in American sports stats, but why shouldn’t it be… it was an American show on an American network after all. I tried to play along, but often couldn’t keep up, especially if they delved into college sports.

Legends of the Hidden Temple

I didn’t get to see this show too often because it was a Nickelodeon series, but anytime we were travelling and our hotel had that channel, you can bet Broski Sip and I were trying to track down airings. This show was an early attempt at blending live action and computer animation, making it seem as if kids were in a virtual video game. The show offered some education too, with mythological tales setting up each episode.

Video & Arcade Top 10

A Canadian production that must have been a marketing godsend to video game companies. The show put four players against each other, competing to have the most points or get to the furthest level in whatever video game was being highlighted before time ran out. They also reviewed the top movies and music of the time and offered video game tips. The winner at the end of the competition would get to pull a ball from a bin and take home the corresponding prize.

Wipeout

By now, you little sippers know that I love seeing people take insane falls and this show has them in spades! The humour provided by hosts John Anderson and John Henson is an added bonus and sideline reporter Jill Wagner is a total pleasure for the eyes. Taking a shot at the show opening Qualifier, the prize-awarding Wipeout Zone, or any other obstacle course the show has punished contestants with would be an honour and privilege!

Drink #252: Wipeout

0.75 oz Melon Liqueur (I used Midori)
0.75 oz Amaretto
Top with Lemon-Lime Soda
Garnish with Raspberries and Strawberries

Looking back at all these shows, I see quite clearly that I had a wonderfully entertaining childhood. Sadly, they just don’t really do kids game shows anymore. I know there’s a Wipeout-themed series called Splatalot! out there, but I can’t think of much else that caters to the little ones… and that makes me sad. Have I missed your favourite game show? You know where to find me!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This was a good drink, but it was sweet. I used the Berries on top to emulate the big balls used on Wipeout. This cocktail also provided my first opportunity to use Midori and for long-time readers, you know how much I love melons… and by that I mean the flavour, not the body parts (although I like those too)!

August 29 – Mexican Mojito

Posted on August 29, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Mocktail Mania

While I simply deplore the concept of the mocktail – I mean, seriously? You’re offering me a drink with no booze? – I feel it can be a fine training tool for young’uns who shouldn’t be indulging in sweet lady liquor. I have to give credit to the inventors of some mocktail names, which are as catchy as the spirits would normally be strong. Here are some of my favourites:

Nojito

One of my favourite families of drinks is the Mojito, highlighted by today’s offering of the Mexican variety. When I have my own little sippers, I’ll want to gradually introduce them to the wonders of mixology and this will be a fine starting point, especially for delicious summer bevvys. Mocktail Ingredients: Mint Leaves, Lime Juice, Simple Syrup, Club Soda

Safe Sex on the Beach

Sometimes called No Sex on the Beach (although I prefer ‘Safe Sex’ because at least someone is getting lucky!), I think the safest sex on the beach is to make whoopee anywhere other than the beach. Remember, they don’t call it sandpaper for nothing… that stuff can be rough! Mocktail Ingredients: Cranberry Juice, Pineapple Juice, Peach Nectar, Maraschino Cherry

Maternitini

I have given brief thought to a time in the very distant future when Mrs. Sip becomes pregnant and whether or not I’ll give up booze in solidarity with her. And I’m quick to shrug those ideas off and say eff that! I just thank the gods above that I don’t have to carry a child and lose out on my drinking ways. Mocktail Ingredients: Raspberries, Grapefruit Juice, Orange Juice, Cranberry Juice

Hot Not Toddy

While I rarely drink warm beverages (even if they are booze-fueled), this is a classic wintertime cocktail that can even be enjoyed sans alcohol (or so I’m led to believe!). I really only down the occasional hot chocolate at Christmas time and it’s usually topped with some sort of liqueur for added flavour and fun! Mocktail Ingredients: Tea, Honey, Cinnamon, Cloves, Nutmeg

Virgin Mary

A number of mocktails simply throw the word virgin in to get their point across, but this is a rare instance where it actually works quite well. Subbing in for the Bloody Mary, the Virgin Mary doesn’t look very good on paper, at least from my perspective. Any drink with Tomato Juice and no liquor seems not worth the effort. Mocktail Ingredients: Tomato Juice, Worcestershire Sauce, Hot Sauce, Lemon Juice

Unfuzzy Navel

This solves the age old mystery of what exactly makes a Fuzzy Navel fuzzy… it’s the liquor, of course! I suppose an unfuzzy navel is much sexier than a fuzzy one because that probably means it belongs to a dude. Nevertheless, I’ll take mine fuzzy with alcohol, please! Mocktail Ingredients: Peach Nectar, Orange Juice, Lemon Juice, Grenadine

Not So Dark and Stormy

I feel a better name for this mocktail would be something like ‘Calm Before the Storm’, just to completely flip it around. I wonder if the Gosling’s Rum folks have hissy fits over this drink in the same manner they do over the Dark and Stormy alcoholic beverage recipe, which they have a copyright over. Mocktail Ingredients: Ginger Beer, Molasses, Lime Juice, Lime Wedge

Salty Dog Without the Tail

This is certainly one of the cleverer mocktail names I came across in my research. It actually makes more sense than the actual spirit-based refreshment. This would be a great drink to pull out around kids who would have a grand ol’ time with the name alone. Grapefruit Juice may be an acquired taste, but I’d make sure my kids got used to it! Mocktail Ingredients: Grapefruit Juice, Salt

Drink #241: Mexican Mojito

Muddle Mint Leaves and Lime Wedges
1.5 oz Tequila (I used 1800 Añejo)
Top with Lemon-Lime Soda
Garnish with a Mint Sprig

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention some other classic mocktails, such as the Shirley Temple and Arnold Palmer (if you add alcohol, it becomes a John Daly!) with this list. My favourite as a wee little sipper was the Roy Rogers. The Sip Family would sometimes stay at the Embassy Suites hotel chain, which had a wonderful happy hour including drinks and appies. Kids were treated to this recipe (cola, grenadine and a Maraschino cherry) and got to feel like they were part of the party! Now let’s never speak of mocktails again!!!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
While not my favourite among the Mojito family of drinks, I thoroughly enjoyed this rendition. Using Añejo Tequila was a nice touch, of course, and it is yet another spirit that works well with all the usual Mojito ingredients.

August 27 – The Gladiator

Posted on August 27, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

No Muss, No Fuss

In some ways, a fussy drinker is justified… but there are other times where you just need to let go and make the best of a boozy situation. Instead of being a fussy #*$!, here are some suggestions for when you’re feeling the fuss but still want to get your drink on.

Must Have Ice

If no ice is available, I will suffer through my drink, but it at all possible, you better believe there will be cubes in my cocktail. I’ve learned well from my parents that having a stock of ice is perhaps the most crucial element to any soiree. Surprisingly, some locations don’t really cater to the ice lovers out there. If you’re in a setting that doesn’t allow the free flow of ice, my recommendation is to stick to beer or wine.

Top Shelf Only

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate drinking a top shelf spirit when the opportunity arises, but I’m not going to go all Frasier Crane when other alcohols are used to make my cocktail. There are people out there that only want the finest and that is their prerogative… unless they make a scene about that. Those folks should be shown the door, whether friend, colleague, lover, or kin. There are some good cheaper brands that can really make a drink. My favourite mid-shelf drinks are Sailor Jerry Spiced Rum, Disaronno (for Amaretto), and Absolut.

Fresh Ingredients Are a Must

In the interest of simplicity, sometimes it would be easier to use a pre-mixed concoction. However, Mrs. Sip won’t allow this and I do get her point. Bottled mixes are often much sweeter and more sugary than the natural ingredients would be. We’ve made it a rule around the Sip Advisor headquarters that only fresh juices and fruit are used for this site. I hope you’ve noticed our dedication to excellence!

I’m On a Diet

This may be the fussy drinker that pisses me off the most. We all have friends that only drink vodka sodas or other flavourless swill because they are watching their calorie intake. The worst is that person who insists her cocktail be made with diet pop – which is far worse for you than any normal beverage – and gives you attitude when you inform them you don’t carry that crap because of how awful it is. Solution: None, you suck.

It Needs Fizz

Another core concept I generally agree with, but there are a multitude of drinks that neither require nor warrant carbonation to be enjoyable. Most of the classic cocktails would be ruined if fizz was added. That being said, generally if we can work some tang into any beverage, you can bet your ass we will. A positive of using sodas in your mix is that the drink will have an effervescence and energy to it as the bubbles hit your tongue.

Too Soft, Too Hard

Scratch that, this is the fussiest drinker that grinds my gears the most. The type of “friend” who complains about the drink you’ve given them being too weak. Um, alright… and by the way, you’re welcome. Then when you make the next cocktail, you up the liquor quotient and suddenly it’s too strong. Well, you know what, I reserve the right to pick and choose who I serve and you… are… out of here!

Drink #239: The Gladiator

0.75 oz Amaretto (I used Disaronno)
0.75 oz Peach Schnapps
Drop shot into glass of Lemon-Lime Soda
Garnish with a Lime Wedge

What cocktail requirements do you insist on? Perhaps we’ll have to agree to disagree!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I’m not sure how a drink that use two lighter spirits winds up with such a commanding name like The Gladiator, but that’s just how things go sometimes. I found this recipe in an online discussion of cocktails for fussy drinkers, so I decided to give it a try. I liked how the Peach Schnapps and Amaretto would slowly roll out of the shot glass as I slammed the Lemon-Lime Soda and the whole concoction was quite tasty!

August 20 – Cactus Kicker

Posted on August 20, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

I’m With Stupid

Kicking a cactus would be a pretty stupid thing to do… but I’m no stranger to stupid! Here are some of the wicked awesome things I’ve done that most would construe as stupid:

Balcony Jumper, Extraordinaire

After a full day of poolside boozing, I stepped inside to order the Sip Alliance some pizzas (and Mrs. Sip some Indian food – she always has to be the difficult one). After re-emerging from the house I spotted a challenge I’d always wanted to tackle and never taken the chance. I quickly hopped up onto the ledge of the balcony that overlooks our pool, let out a manly growl, and cleared several feet of concrete leaping into the pool below.

Things went off without a hitch… until Cousin Sip posted a Facebook status about it, prompting Ma Sip to reply in a not-so-thrilled manner. Mrs. Sip, while impressed with the feat, wasn’t very happy with me either. She made me vow never to perform the death-defying jump again. When the two most important women in your life aren’t happy with you, you know you’ve done something wrong. I promised that evening that my balcony jumping days were a thing of the past… but no one ever said the roof was off limits!

You Win Some, You LUGE Some

The more you speed, the more you bleed! That was the local motto when Mrs. Sip and I took to the Commercial Street Luge track in Rotorua, New Zealand. We’re both speed demons, but Mrs. Sip wanted to ease herself into the luging, starting with the beginner track and working her way up through intermediate and expert. I jumped straight to intermediate and after one warm-up run, I was flying down the expert course with ease. This would make a spectacular video, I thought, as I finished up my second of three runs.

On our third run, we both hit the expert track, with Mrs. Sip leading the way. Since I was such an expert, or so I thought, I was in charge of filming the track. I started rolling tape, but steering and holding the camera at the same time was proving difficult. Rather than bail on my glorious plan, I tried to make it work. Then I got to the point in the track where there was a sharp turn and a steep drop where usually you gain a bit of air. Before I knew it, I was veering towards the concrete curb, launching myself out of my vehicle and onto the thankfully grassy embankment.

Sadly, this is not how Mrs. Sip treated my numerous boo-boos…

My shirt was stained with dirt and grass, my arm sliced open and bleeding, and our camera worse for the wear, and my watch scuffed. Mrs. Sip was waiting at the bottom of the course wondering why I was taking so long to finish and thinking she had beaten me handily and was a born-speedster. As I finally finished my run, she could sense something was wrong. Luckily the sorest thing was my pride and it ended up making a decent story.

Double-O-Stupid

My 19^th birthday was a mix of good and bad. On the plus side, I was now legal age to drink alcohol. Not a huge deal because I’d been drinking for a few years by that point, but it would make procuring liquor easier. On the downside, Mrs. Sip and my relationship was only six months old and she had recently left for the United Kingdom for a year-long exchange program.

I decided to celebrate quietly with a couple friends and in a moment of nostalgia, we made plans to play the classic James Bond video game Goldeneye (much like we had done together in our formative years). The one caveat: each time you were killed, you had to do a shot of whiskey.

I have no clue why I ever agreed to this idea… I was never that great at the video game to begin with. It wasn’t long before I was running to the sink to lose my milk and cookies and my buddies weren’t far behind. Here’s where the Sip Advisor legend began to grow though… I went back to doing shots. Not many folks can get drunk twice in the same night!

Speed Trap Follies

I’ve only been pulled over for speeding once in my 14-year driving history. I think that’s a pretty damn good record. During the one time I wasn’t so lucky, I had just returned Mrs. Sip to her university residence and had a 30-45 minute drive in front of me to get back home. Given it was already 3am and I had school myself in the morning, I was looking to make short work of the trip. I had just hit about 30 kilometers above the speed limit, on a road I knew to be a trap for police, when I spotted a cop car ahead. I tried to slow down, but I was already busted.

The officer took my license and registration and asked me a couple questions, which mortified, I answered. As a struggling student, I surely didn’t need to be paying off a hefty speeding ticket. When the patrolman returned, he handed me back my papers and license and revealed that he was going to let me off with a warning. His parting words: “By the way, happy birthday!”

Drink #232: Cactus Kicker

1.5 oz Tequila (I used Hornitos)
0.5 oz Melon Liqueur
Top with Pineapple Juice
Splash of Sour Mix
Splash of Lemon-Lime Soda
Garnish with a Lime Wedge

What stupid things have you done, perhaps after a few too many beverages? Surely, I can’t be the only dumb person around here. Or maybe that’s what makes me a legend!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This cocktail is like a twist on the margarita. While I enjoyed most of the ingredients, I wasn’t very fond of the Pineapple Juice. When it became a little more diluted I enjoyed the drink more.

August 13 – The Wave

Posted on August 13, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Chain Gang

Mrs. Sip and I are always looking to try new restaurants. We travel often enough that it’s always good to have some ideas of places to hit in locations we aren’t accustomed to. That said, here are some chains I want to visit for the first time:

Carl’s Jr.

Watching TV the other day, I saw a new commercial for Carl’s Jr. that featured the Epic Meal Time guys presenting the burger joint’s new offering: the Super Bacon Burger. While this sandwich would have previously been unobtainable to me, save for a jaunt down to the United States, a Carl’s Jr. just opened up in my neighbourhood.

She seems to like it!

Chipotle Mexican Grill

Chipotle is another chain that recently crossed the border and opened a location mere blocks from my home and work. Sadly, I have yet to visit, despite hearing good things. The restaurant’s food spiciness has been lampooned on South Park before, thanks to Cartman’s often disgusting eating habits.

Sonic Drive-In

I’ve enjoyed a number of commercials from this outlet and it would be totally nostalgic to visit one of these drive-in locations, complete with roller skating carhops. In recent years, the brand has also opened two Sonic Beach locations, which offer outdoor seating and serve beer and wine!

In-N-Out Burger

The draw of In-N-Out Burger is their “secret menu,” which features options like Animal Style Fries (fries with two slices of melted cheese, sauce, and grilled onions). The chain remains quite popular with customers because of this and other moves, such as paying employees well above the minimum wage in the areas they operate.

Chick-Fil-A

Despite the owner’s checkered history with public relations, I’ve heard great things about the food at Chick-Fil-A and would like to give it a shot. I love chicken burgers and any place that claims “We didn’t invent the chicken, just the chicken sandwich,” deserves a chance to prove their mettle, in my books.

White Castle

If it was good enough for Harold and Kumar, then it’s good enough for me! It would be interesting to see how many of their famous sliders I could force down my gullet. I’m no competitive eater, but if these treats are as good as advertised, I’d love to take a crack at demolishing a stack of them.

Dave & Buster’s

This is like the adult version of Chuck E. Cheese’s combining video games, booze, food, and fun! If I was near any location, I would most certainly have my birthday there and redeem game tickets for penny candy, bouncy balls, and squirt guns! Come on, little sippers, let’s make this dream come true!!!

Drink #225: The Wave (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

1 oz Cherry Lemonade Vodka
1 oz Captain Morgan Bite Rum
0.5 oz Blue Curacao
Top with Club Soda or Lemon-Lime Soda
Blend with Ice
Garnish with Maraschino Cherries and a Cocktail Umbrella

Do you have any suggestions of chains I should try as Mrs. Sip and I travel the world? Obviously, you don’t know where we been and what we’ve tried, but if there’s a restaurant you treasure and you’d like to share that with us, feel free to throw it out there.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This recipe was created by Mrs. Sip and Cousin Sip and used some very interesting spirit choices, creating a tasty blend. Depending on how sweet you want the cocktail, you can use either Club Soda or Lemon-Lime Soda as a mixer. For added presentation points, the girls added a light-up ice cube to the frozen concoction, giving it an alluring glow!

August 8 – Killer Kool-Aid

Posted on August 8, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Beverage of State

Did you know that a number of American states have an official beverage? That’s right, on top of having state flowers and birds, more than half of the country’s states have gone to the trouble of selecting an official drink as well. While an overwhelming number of those states have taken the easy and politically correct route of naming milk as their bevvy of choice, here are the states that chose to shake things up and ruffle some feathers (of birds… hopefully roughly… stupid birds).

Nebraska – Kool-Aid

Nebraska lamed out a little by also choosing milk as their official beverage, but they did select Kool-Aid as their state soft drink. When I was a little sipper, I knew I was destined for a life of mixology thanks to the experiments I conducted with Kool-Aid. I mixed it with a number of ingredients, searching for the next great recipe. Pepsi and Kool-Aid, or as I called it, Kontaminated Kool-Aid, provided my most favourable results.

Alabama – Conecuh Ridge Whiskey

How awesome would it be to live in a place that’s official drink was freakin’ Whiskey?! I must admit, though, I’m a little surprised that Alabama didn’t go with Moonshine as their most famous liquid offering, but I guess they had to play a little nice with the process. Good on ya, Alabama!

Massachusetts – Cranberry Juice

I guess the fine folks of Massachusetts have some serious urinary issues if they’ve chosen Cranberry Juice as their official drink. Hey, whatever keeps them healthy and happy. Cranberry Juice does factor into a lot of cocktails, so perhaps they were onto something when choosing this mixer.

Florida – Orange Juice

This is a bit of a no-brainer as Florida is renowned for their Orange Juice. I wonder if O.J. Simpson was on hand for the ceremony making the juice the official beverage of the state. This would, of course, be years before his legal troubles, but being born in California he might be partial to that states orange juice history.

Rhode Island – Coffee Milk

Rhode Island wanted to follow suit with much of the country, but also tried to remain unique by picking Coffee Milk. I’m supposing this means much of the state runs around with a caffeine buzz leading to insomnia and a rash of Starbucks popping up to capitalize on the movement. My take on coffee and its subsidiaries can be found here.

Maine – Moxie

Moxie is Maine’s official soft drink and is made with the bitter tasting gentian root extract. While it is Maine’s state soft drink because creator Dr. Augustin Thompson was born in the state, the drink was actually produced in Massachusetts… I smell a blood feud!

Indiana – Water

How boring of a selection is this!? It’s like it didn’t even try! Don’t get me wrong, I love my H2O and whenever I’m not consuming alcohol, I’m downing the clear stuff to balance myself out, but come on… couldn’t they settle on something with even the slightest intrigue? Shame, Indiana… kind of sounds like a cool place to live.

New Hampshire – Apple Cider

An interesting selection, indeed… apparently this decision grew from a student campaign (their teacher wanted to get kids interested in government and show them they have a voice even at their useless age!) and even Facebook page to get the government to make it all official.

South Carolina – State-Grown Tea

I’m assuming this could be used in either hot or iced tea, but perhaps I’d cause an international incident for drinking one and not the other. South Carolina is another state that picked milk as its official beverage, but State-Grown Tea is their State Hospitality Beverage… yes, such a thing exists.

Ohio – Tomato Juice

This kind of reminds me of the Simpsons episode where the town of Shelbyville is forced to worship a turnip tree (once Springfield gets its precious lemon tree back) and the citizens can’t stand eating the vile vegetable. I’m curious as to how many people actually drink the official beverage of their state regularly. P.S.: Tomato Juice is gross!

Drink #220: Killer Kool-Aid

Rim glass with Kool-Aid Powder
1 oz Vodka (I used Grey Goose Cherry Noir)
0.5 oz Melon Liqueur
0.5 oz Amaretto
Top with Cranberry Juice
Splash of Lemon-Lime Soda
Garnish with Lime Wedge

I’m surprised more states haven’t named an official beverage. California could choose wine, given its wonderful wine regions. Washington State could go with Apple Juice thanks to the production industry there. Finally, Michigan could choose motor oil as a nod to being the home of motor vehicle manufacturing.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I have to say that this drink tastes an awful lot like Kool-Aid… plus a little bit of the hard stuff! I used Grey Goose Cherry Noir Vodka, which added a nice flavour with the top shelf spirit and all was well… oh yeah!

July 11 – Cracked Chandelier

Posted on July 11, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Smash and Grab

I think we all enjoy to see a little chaos and destruction… it’s just human nature. With that in mind, I started thinking of the best things to see broken or smashed, preferably tossed off of skyscrapers like David Letterman used to do on his talk show. Perhaps he still does. I don’t know, I’m usually passed out by then, dreaming up these wonderful articles!

Chandelier

One of the greatest scenes in media history is to see a chandelier fall from great heights, splintering into thousands of pieces when it comes to hit the floor below. When it falls on top of a person, the stakes are raised even higher. Of course, the most famous crashing chandelier has to be from Phantom of the Opera, when the ghastly Phantom sabotages the opera’s chandelier, wreaking havoc as only he can.

Champagne Waterfall

On my most recent cruise vacation, I was mere minutes away from actually getting to see this remarkable moment. When our group showed up for the traditional formal dinner and champagne waterfall, all we were treated with was cruise staff cleaning up the wreckage of shattered glass. Apparently the ship had titled just a little too much and down came the pyramid.

Watermelon

While people starve to death around the world, prop comic Gallagher started a revolution, smashing perfectly good to eat fruit in the name of entertainment. His ‘Sledge-O-Matic’ mallet became legendary and with every swing, audiences ate up (sometimes literally) the results of his destruction. I’m salivating over the watermelon and the thoughts of the things I could do with my own Sledge-O-Matic. Do you think it would work for muddling!?

Tank

These beastly vehicles are supposed to be practically indestructible. That doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun trying to wreck them to the nth degree! I think the dude (known as Tank Man… what a wicked name!) from the infamous Tiananmen Square Massacre, who stood defiant in front of the tanks going to break up the student protest, should be our leader, gaining further vengeance on the machine he seems to have some sort of ominous power over.

Slurpee Machine

I can only imagine the rainbow that would be painted if a fully stocked (we’re talking all eight flavours) Slurpee machine was dropped from extraordinary heights onto the hard cold ground below. Would you be willing to drink whatever concoction was formed by the carnage? I would certainly give it a shot, providing I could dump a little liquid sunshine into the mix, in the form of a high-alcohol spirit!

Entire Turkey Dinner

Most people say that their family dinners turn into complete nightmares when people start drinking and yapping and stirring up old issues. I say to hell with the dinner, let’s just take the whole shebang and toss it off a rooftop. Imagine the delight of passersby having to dodge gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and the big bird itself. Sounds like a ton of fun to me and a wonderful way to give back to society!

Christmas Tree/Pumpkin

In a similar vein to the turkey dinner above, a tradition at Ma and Pa Sip’s place is to get rid of the ol’ Christmas tree and Halloween pumpkins by launching them off the front balcony. One year, Mrs. Sip took part in the pumpkin ritual and when she asked if she was supposed to get it in the garbage can below, I wise-assedly said “uh, no”. The result was a pumpkin hurled directly at Pa Sip, who had to react quickly not to be victimized by his future daughter-in-law.

Drink #192: Cracked Chandelier

1.5 oz Sambuca
1.5 oz White Rum
Top with Lemon-Lime Soda
Garnish with Licorice Candies

Surely, there are items I’ve neglected and you should let me know of my egregious errors. Take me to task. Make me atone for my transgressions. I dare you… no, I double dog dare you. Yeah, it’s that serious!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I remember serving this drink at one of the first family functions I bartended and it didn’t go over great with most people… even those who have a fondness for Sambuca. Still, I was willing to try it again. The sour from the Soda and Lime Wedges compliment the sweet and licorice taste of the Sambuca. I don’t think this cocktail will work for everyone, but for my acquired palate, it was enjoyable.

July 7 – Watermelon Mojito

Posted on July 7, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Summer in the City

With summer upon us, it’s time to throw out some ideas for things you can do with the missus or the little ones. Here are some treasured Sip Advisor summer activities!

Drive-In Movie

The whole experience might as well be called, “How to Gorge Yourself on Snacks in a Few Hours,” but that’s all part of the fun. Our local drive-in presents two or three movies each night for the low price of $12.50! Because you’re in your own car, you can chat with your car mates without being shushed by other moviegoers and can even get a little naughty with your best gal, should the inspiration arise.

That’s one hell of a line-up!

Swimming

I’ve been lucky enough to grow up my entire life with a pool in the backyard, first an above-ground tank and later an in-ground swimming hole. It’s hard to see my life without easy access to water and a place to hang out with drinks, sun, and fun. Over the years, the pool has been home to some crazy behavior, such as backyard wrestling, balcony jumps and skinny dipping!

Fire Pit

After a day in the cement pond, we’ll often light up the fire pit at the Sip Advisor headquarters, where roasting marshmallows and building smores are the first order of business. Talk around the campfire is always entertaining, especially when one member of the Sip Alliance can’t control an Irish accent he’s never exhibited before and it only comes out when he’s tanked!

Camping

Ah, the great outdoors… where people stupidly risk the elements for the sake of “getting back to nature”. I’m just thankful that I’m a dude and I can pee wherever I want, while the ladies always have to have good facilities within walking distance. Food while camping is certainly a highlight of the entire experience, with so much junk that it would make any healthy person question the entire practice.

Baseball Game

While I prefer other sports more, the ‘boys of summer’ experience is one not to be missed. It’s a great night out to hit the diamond and support your local team, whether professional, amateur, or beer league. The snacks and beer at a baseball game often overtake the actual sport itself in attention spent, but sometimes you get that special experience where your team ties the game late and wins in extra innings prior to a fireworks show (true story!).

Picnic in the Park

Very few things are as relaxing and peaceful as a picnic in the park. Just throw your blanket down wherever you’re comfortable and lay out, enjoying a spread of sandwiches, salads, chips, cookies, and wine or beer if you can sneak your sips in. You can even combine your meal with a rollerblade, bike ride, or top it all off with some playground activity!

Drink #188: Watermelon Mojito

Muddled Watermelon, Lime and Mint
1.5 oz Appleton Rum
Top with Lemon-Lime Soda
Garnish with Watermelon Cube, Lime Wedge and Sugar Cane Stir Stick

While those are my favourite activities, there are a number of things I’d like to try again from the days of summer past, like busting out the ol’ slip and slide and getting soap in my eyes or a concussion from smacking noggins with another slider. Good… no, scratch that… GREAT times!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I love Watermelon and I love Mojitos, so put the two together and you have a winning combination. I subbed Appleton Rum in for White Rum and it was a perfect choice given Watermelon’s light taste.

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

Tag Archives: lemon-lime soda