May 2 – Sex on the Sidewalk

Posted on May 2, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Walk-Blocking

I fancy myself as an expert walker… professional, even. Hell, I’ve been doing it for nearly 30 years and I feel that I’m at the top of my field. Sadly, on a daily basis, I see so many examples of people who don’t know how to walk properly on the streets and therefore I feel the need to depart my knowledge on the most dastardly members of our society, the walk-blockers.

This is an Idiot’s Guide to walking in urban areas. The first lesson is pretty simple: think of walking like you would driving. Walk in straight lines, stay to the right side of the “road”, allow for passing, and pull off to the side of the road if you want to stop. Seems pretty easy, right? Well, here are the most egregious fouls encountered out there on the foot highways and how to deal with them.

Cell Phone Talkers & Texters

Why is it that some people get so absorbed into their phones that they don’t realize the world going on around them? They don’t realize that they’ve slowed to a crawl, with a line of people trying to pass them because they’re staring at their phone, trying to figure out the meaning of life through the interpretation of text acronyms (2G2BT, HMU, ATST, B4N). And the people who walk around talking on blue tooth or other devices should be committed to mental institutions.

Zig-Zaggers

How hard is it to walk in a straight line? Well, from the evidence I’ve collected, this is a much more difficult task than I ever thought. I constantly see people bounce through a sidewalk block like they’re a ball from the Brick Breaker video game. Passing these guys and gals is tough because just as you try to go around them one way, they may switch their direction. They’re like game baddies with good artificial intelligence.

Four Wide

This one aggravates me to no end because not only do they walk four-people wide, taking up the entire sidewalk width, but they’re usually of the slow walker variety and you can find yourself stuck behind them for entire blocks. I don’t want to call out any race in particular, but it seems that Asian girls like to roll at a minimum of four wide… WHILE HOLDING FREAKIN’ HANDS! This should be punishable by tentacle erotica.

Stoppers & Gawkers

I love it when you’re walking behind someone and they suddenly stop without warning. Listen douche bag, I don’t care what text came through or which restaurant marquee you want to check out, if you want to stop in the middle of traffic, try this crazy new thing called stepping to the side first, then do what you need to do (radical, I know). This offence is most often occurs in malls and at theme parks.

The Homeless (aka The Walking Dead)

These “people” sure know how to get attention… the negative kind, of course. There is nothing I love better than racing to work, sleepy and cranky that it’s Monday (or Tuesday, or Wednesday or… well really any day that you have to go to work) and then suddenly a homeless person decides that it is the perfect time to solicit me for a portion of the minimal wages I’m dragging my butt out of bed to go make. Their best tactic seems to be completely blocking my route and forcing me to acknowledge their existence. That’s when I start busting out the flying forearms and lariat clotheslines and the dreaded, last resort, roaring elbow!

Gatherings

For some reason, these gatherings (usually outside restaurants, bars and clubs) just seem to mushroom and grow, as one smoker becomes 10 in no time and you’re forced to walk on the road briefly to circumvent the congregation. Sometimes, I like to be a dick and walk right through the crowd, interrupting the flow of their surely groundbreaking conversation.

Children & Animals

Not that they are the same (their parents may beg to differ), but I lump kids and pets together because both get a pass from me. They just don’t know any better. However, their parents/owners should be making sure they don’t severely disrupt the flow of walking traffic and they’re often too busy with their faces in their phones to monitor their little ones. However, parents with buggies are a whole other story! (especially in theme parks!)

Drivers and Their Vehicles

Every single day, I encounter at least three incidents where I’m almost hit by a car… and I’m constantly paying attention and looking out for this. I fear for the people that are too distracted by their phones and iPods to realize that a pick-up truck is about to squash them like Mario crushes Goombas. I especially hate people that block my walking lane and are then stuck waiting for traffic to clear anyway.

Scooters, Wheelchairs and Strollers, oh my

These sidewalk vehicles are a necessary evil, but they sure take up a lot of space and I find most people using these items of assistance are often crabby and unfriendly to deal with. If you’re going to take up half the sidewalk, you might as well do it with a smile on your face.

Bikes on the Sidewalk

Unless it’s a young kid, bikes belong on the road. These are the kind of people I would love to just knock over as they pass me. Give them a stiff shoulder check and watch them hilariously fall to the ground and suffer severe concussions. After all, us taxpayers have paid for a trillion and one designated bike lanes, might as well use them!

Vehicles in Crossing Lanes

I’ve always wanted to just walk on top of the hood of a vehicle that has chosen to sit in an intersection, cutting off my route from corner to corner. While I haven’t performed this maneuver yet, I am known to bash cars with my umbrella, if they cut me off in an intersection when I have the right of way and I once (almost) spat at a guy in a convertible after he nearly ran me over. Hey, it’s the little victories that count, right?!

Smokers

Finally, you have your smokers, who aren’t much fun to walk behind, resulting in a face full of second-hand smoke. Try to pass these individuals as soon as possible, so you can enjoy some fresh air with your walkabout.

Drink #122: Sex on the Sidewalk

1 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Melon Liqueur
0.5 oz Chambord
Top with Cranberry Juice
Garnish with Linked Sour Soothers

This drink’s namesake is definitely a walking no-no. While it would make a decent sideshow attraction, all those wayward limbs would certainly slow down your walking progress and the spectacle of the entire obscenity would cause a crowd that would be hard to circumvent. Stay safe out there, my little sippers!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This is a tasty drink that goes down easy, but seems to be missing something. Some fizz may have made it a little more fun and also cut into some of the sweetness, although it’s not overly sweet, either. P.S. Sour Soothers rule!

May 1 – Black Mojito

Posted on May 1, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Death Do Us Part

Some would say that the name Black Mojito conjures up images of the lively mojito (also known as the alcoholic rainforest) drying up and dying. In that vein, let’s take a look at some of the most bizarre deaths to occur in human history!

Uroko Onoja – Cause of Death: Sex machine blows a circuit

I think it’s every guy’s dream (or hope) to have endless sex. Unfortunately, that didn’t work out too well for this Nigerian polygamist. When five of his six wives demanded sex from him after catching him with the youngest wife (why this was a problem, I don’t know – surely the women knew the commandments of polygamy charter), he was able to go through four of them, in succession, before he stopped breathing. You have to give the guy some props for making it that far, but the last wife must have been pretty choked that she still got the short end of the stick (or rather, no stick at all to be exact).

Phillip Quinn – Cause of Death: And boom goes the lava lamp

We’ve all been mesmerized by the luminescent lava lamp before, but this dude tried to take the device to a whole new level. He put the lamp inside a microwave, and when it exploded (because that’s obviously what was going to happen) a shard of glass pierced his heart. How stoned was this guy that the thought of putting a lava lamp into a microwave even entered his mind? Was he going to eat the lava lamp’s gooey insides? That’s the only reason something should ever be put in a microwave, my little sippers, unless you’re warming up a rain-soaked pair of undies.

Garry Hoy – Cause of Death: Lawyer negligence

While trying to prove to a group of prospective articling law students that the glass throughout his office was unbreakable, this genius of a lawyer (from Toronto, no surprise there) slammed himself against the pane, which of course popped out and led to him taking a 24-floor dive. Ultimately not the best way to convince young lawyers that they had a bright future with that firm. Well, at least now they’ll never forget him.

Dick Wertheim – Cause of Death: Serve’s up

This one is really tragic, in my opinion. Mr. Wertheim was a tennis linesman working a 1983 US Open match. Player Stefan Edberg connected with a serve that hit the poor linesman right in the groin. While this pain would instantly kill most men, what got Werthheim in the end was blunt cranial trauma after he fell to the ground, hitting his head.

Lee Seung Seop – Cause of Death: Epic video game session

The most I’ve ever played a video game in one sitting is about two hours… and that’s a very rare chunk of time where I didn’t become disinterested, hungry, frustrated, or tired enough to shut off the console. My attention span just isn’t of that high a tolerance. Mr. Seop, on the other hand, played the online video game StarCraft for 50 consecutive hours before collapsing of fatigue. He must have been on one hell of a quest!

20 Crew and Passengers – Cause of Death: Crocodile strikes again

This incident all started when a passenger smuggled aboard a crocodile in a sports bag and the animal escaped. Panicked passengers – probably thinking they were extras in the long overdue Snakes on a Plane sequel – caused the plane to crash after they made the tiny aircraft unbalanced by all running to one side of the vessel. So many unanswered questions remain, like how the passenger got the crocodile past the crack airport security in Africa and what prompted this dude to smuggle a freakin’ dinosaur in the first place. Of course, the crocodile survived along with one passenger. Now I know why TV character Archer fears the lizards so much!

Drink #121: Black Mojito

Muddle 8 Mint Leaves and 4 Lime Wedges
1.5 oz Kraken Black Spice Rum
Top with Ginger Ale
Garnish with Lime Wedge

There are so many fascinating unusual deaths that have occurred throughout human history. Hence the existence of a show like Spike TV’s 1000 Ways to Die, which is always good for a few laughs. Ah, laughing at dead people… stay classy Sip Nation!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
Mojitos and their cousins rule. This recipe was different in that it required Ginger Ale, as opposed to either Club Soda or Lemon-Lime Soda, but that’s cool because I enjoy Ginger Ale. The drink also gave me a chance to use my new Kraken Black Spiced Rum, which I have absolutely nothing bad to say about.

April 30 – Income Tax Cocktail

Posted on April 30, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

We Hate Your Job

It’s tax season, which always brings to mind how much we hate the government getting its grubby hands into our pockets and taking what is rightfully ours for useless things such as healthcare and schools. Pssh, who needs those, right? Well, I for one, hope that everyone gets a decent tax return which they can invest in liquor libations! Here are some other professions we can hate all year round:

Tax Agents

Whether it’s the IRS in the United States, CRS in Canada, or whatever it is in your neck of the woods, everyone hates the taxman. The Beatles summed-up this venomous attitude very well in their 1966 hit Taxman, singing “Should five per cent appear too small, Be thankful I don’t take it all.” How much do we hate paying our taxes? World Wrestling Entertainment even featured an evil tax agent as a character from 1991 to 1995. His name: Irwin R. Schyster… get it? IRS! Oh, those creative writers!

If you don’t pay your taxes, you’re gonna get an ass whooping!

Telemarketers

The thing that pisses me off the most about telemarketers and door-to-door salesmen and the like, is that they have this innate ability to know when you will be most irritated with their interruption and that’s when they choose to contact you. This annoyance can also come in the form of unsolicited mail, which just wastes your time to open, process, and shred.

Lawyers

Liar, lawyer… what’s the difference? I have to tread carefully around this entry, as not only is Mrs. Sip a practicing family law lawyer, but by proxy, a lot of our friends are practitioners as well. One wrong word and I’ll receive a formal notice informing me that I’ll be sleeping on the couch for a week. Have it your way, baby!

(Used) Car Salesmen

No matter how nice they may seem, we must always be leery of the greedy, underhanded, (used) car salesman. So many things can go wrong in buying a new or used car from getting a lemon to being cheated on price and other details. The whole industry is a little dubious as far as I have seen and I will avoid it like a plague.

I want to buy a car off of this dude!

Politicians

I personally dislike all politicians. I have no allegiance to any party or denomination and I fully intend on keeping it that way. I don’t even like talking politics and feel it should be banned from all dinner settings. That said, I believe I have a number of great ideas on how to change this place for the better and I hereby announce my candidacy in the upcoming election.

Parking Enforcers

We’ve all been there before. You’re two minutes late getting back to your car after your meter has run out and yet there’s already a ticket freshly placed on your windshield with no soul in sight to indicate who wrote it. They are like ghosts that vanish the moment they have ruined your day. That said, I’ve never had to pay a single parking ticket (not that I’m building a collection) and have been able to talk my way out of the couple violations left on my vehicle.

Tow Truck Operators

In a similar vein to parking enforcers, tow truck operators seem to prey on their next targets, just waiting for someone to slip up, even innocently, so they can get their next pick-up and meet their quota. A few TV shows have tried to show us that tow operators aren’t so bad, but the perception is a very tough one to improve.

Drink #120: Income Tax Cocktail

1.5 oz Gin (I used Beefeater)
0.75 oz Dry Vermouth
0.75 oz Sweet Vermouth
Splash of Orange Juice
Dashes of Angostura Bitters
Garnish with an Orange Twist

I’m just happy that bartender has to be one of the highest-ranked jobs on the list of jobs people adore. After all, we are responsible for helping you all get your buzz on and forget your troubles!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
There wasn’t much of a taste to this drink. I’m not sure if that’s because the Dry and Sweet Vermouth cancel each other out or because the other ingredients are so minimal that they don’t make much of a difference to the overall flavour. I’m a little flummoxed on this one, but at least it wasn’t bad.

April 29 – Sin City

Posted on April 29, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Sin-sational

Over the Easter weekend, Mrs. Sip and I visited one of our favourite places in the world, Las Vegas. Along with many of our usual haunts (not one, but two trips to the Hyde Lounge!), here are a few new places we tried on our recent long weekend extravaganza, with wonderful cocktail options at almost every turn.

Max Brenner’s

This place specializes in chocolate, mixing it into every recipe on the menu (food, drink, dessert). Mrs. Sip and I went during its bar happy hour, sampling three of their dessert cocktails ($6 down from their normal $12), while also sharing some appies – waffle fries with chili-chocolate powder… um, yes please! Mrs. Sip enjoyed the classic chocolate martinii (garnished with a huge chocolate dipped strawberry) while my favourite drink was the wonderfully delicious Satisfaction Guaranteed, made with peanut and caramel liqueurs. When I think of a drink that is 5 sips out of 5, this is it!

Wynn Buffet

We like to get to at least one buffet on each trip to Las Vegas and over time, we’ve been able to try nearly every hotel’s offering on the strip. On this excursion, I gorged myself on a selection of Asian delicacies, from sushi to noodles and vegetables and followed that up with a plate of crab legs. Dessert was great too, with a make your own gelato sundae bar. Althoght a bit more pricey than your regular buffet ($38 for dinner), the Wynn Buffet is well worth the price and everything you would expect from the 5 star hotel and casino!

Parasol Down

While I can’t fully recommend the little shows that run every half an hour on the Lake of Dreams (two balls birthing a baby ball???) the place does provide a lovely setting for an evening cocktail, with it’s lake and forest atmosphere. Here, I tried the Sinatra Smash, made with Crème de Cassis, whiskey, sweet and sour mix, vanilla syrup, and blackberries.

Guns & Ammo Garage

It has long been on my bucket list to shoot a gun. Not at anything in particular (might I suggest the birds infesting my patio), but just to merely shoot a gun. When the opportunity arose to go to one of the many gun ranges in Las Vegas, I was happy to tag along. There, I shot a M9 and an Uzi (relatively well) and gained a whole new respect for the fine folks that have to carry a piece as part of their daily living.

Rock & Rita’s

A little off the main strip, but worth the trip, this restaurant features a southern barbecue menu, complete with massive drinks you can get in a souvenir toilet glass. I tried the 2000 Flushes recipe, while splitting an appie platter. This is a fun place for adults and kids alike, as while flair bartenders did their thing just outside the joint, one of the greatest balloon artists I’ve ever seen visited each table, making amazing creations for the little ones.

Go Pool Cabana

Mrs. Sip and I have done the hotel pool thing a few times before, but when Mama Sip (also in Vegas at the time) wanted to reserve one of the poolside cabanas for the day, it brought a whole new meaning to swim luxury. Myself and Papa Sip were able to watch a hockey game, while the ladies soaked in the sun. We also had around the clock service, which resulted in me ordering the Alligator Bite drink, made with a host of liquors and pineapple juice.

The ladies and me at the cabana!

Carlos & Charlie’s

This wild restaurant inside the Flamingo was just being built the last time we were in Vegas and we stopped here for lunch one day before hitting the pool. While splitting a scrumptious quesadilla stuffed with the works, I enjoyed a Lazarillo cocktail, made with tequila, cranberry juice, and lime. It was basically a Mexican Cosmo, but it really hit the spot as a good starter drink to another wild day.

New Cocktails

As previously mentioned, we enjoyed the Bellagio fountains at the Hyde Lounge twice on this trip and while there sampled a number of fantastic concoctions. Mrs. Sip finally gave the nitrogen drink, Bees Knees, a go, while I ordered a host of luxury cocktails, including the sweet and spicy Burning Mango, bell pepper-infused Love Unit, and subtle yet delicious Cucumber Watermelon Margarita.

Drink #119: Sin City

1.5 oz Vodka (I used Absolut Raspberri)
Top with Cranberry Juice
Splash of Club Soda
Garnish with a Maraschino Cherry and Cinnamon Stick

We will be back to Sin City again soon. It doesn’t take long before that itch returns and we’re booking our flights and hotel, salivating over the copious options available and prepping for a weekend filled with booze, sun, food, lack of sleep and hard partying!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
This cocktail was your typical Vodka-Cran-Soda. I was hoping the addition of the Cinnamon Stick would change things up – even using it as a straw for a couple sips – but unfortunately, any difference was so subtle that the flavour wasn’t modified at all.

April 28 – Matador

Posted on April 28, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Taking the Bull by the Horns

While I never intend to be a matador, I have done my fair share of crazy. Here are my experiences in the realm of extreme activities!

Zorbing

Rolling down a hill inside a giant rubber ball filled with water is something only the Kiwi’s could have invented. Mrs. Sip and I jumped into the ball together and tumbled our way to the bottom of the hill, giggling as we crashed around inside our vessel. As you exit the ball, you feel as if you’re being birthed. We also did solo runs down a zig-zag course, trying to stay upright as long as possible, but always ending up flipping our way down the track.

Commercial Luge

The more you speed, the more you bleed… I found this out the hard way. Again, while in New Zealand, Mrs. Sip and I took to a commercial street luge track. Mrs. Sip played it safe and did two runs on the beginner track before advancing to intermediate. I did one intermediate run before hitting the expert slope twice. On my last run, feeling ballsy, I tried to videotape my journey. This didn’t go well, as holding the camera, while trying to steer was nearly impossible. I crashed into the embankment, rolled a few times and walked away with a gnarly gash on my arm, a grass- and dirt-stained shirt and a camera that struggled to open and close. Eh, you win some, you luge some!

Bungee Jumping

I’ve bungeed a total of five times from three different locations, including one epic jump off the Auckland Harbour Bridge in New Zealand. Your mother always told you to never follow your friends and jump off bridges… that’s why I went solo and started the trend. Amazingly, Mrs. Sip has often accompanied me to view these jumps, despite her fear of heights. While I’m a fan of flipping through the air while bungeeing, I didn’t fully enjoy the backwards free-fall I once performed.

Ziplining

Despite what the creators of South Park might think about ziplining, I’ve always enjoyed flying through the air from platform to platform. Mrs. Sip and I have ziplined in Mexico, Costa Rica and into a cave in New Zealand (for a round of black water rafting). I like the lines where you can do some more elaborate tricks, like go upside down and pretend you’re a spider, hanging from your own webbing!

Scuba Diving

I know what you’re thinking (especially if you’ve never done it), how is scuba diving a danger sport? Well, just the concept of breathing deep underwater is something that can be difficult to wrap your head around. When Mrs. Sip (a certified diver) signed me up for an introductory scuba session, I was apprehensive to say the least. Once you get in the water, relax, and get used to the breathing and goggle techniques, the views are amazing and you can keep your fears subdued. I was privileged to do my dive at Australia’s Great Barrier Reef and I think I even found Nemo!

Drink #118: Matador

1.5 oz Tequila (I used 1800 Añejo)
Top with Pineapple Juice
Splash of Lime Juice
Garnish with Lime Wedge

In the future, I hope to do other crazy shit like run with the bulls, skydive, base jump and cliff dive. For those that are afraid to try any of these activities, just remember how dangerous normal everyday things can be like walking the streets of a downtown core and you should have no problem jumping out of a plane, off a cliff, or into a stampede!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I liked this cocktail. It’s fun to put the odd non-bubbly-based drink into a champagne flute and I thought it worked really well for this recipe. All the ingredients mixed well together with many citrus notes shining through… plus you can never go wrong with Añejo Tequila!

April 27 – London Fog

Posted on April 27, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Ice Ice Baby

Perfect for Halloween and all other non-denominational holidays, a recent fad in the mixology world has been to use dry ice or liquid nitrogen in cocktails, giving the presentation a special effect as a smoky fog rolls off of the drink.

But there are dangers to the process, as well. An 18-year-old girl in the United Kingdom, celebrating her birthday, had her stomach removed after drinking a liquid nitrogen-Jagermeister recipe. That would be awful. You finally become legal and you’re out on the town for a wild night, but you can’t even get past your first drink… talk about a lightweight!

Also, you’d figure this chick’s stomach lining would be stronger given the diet of bangers and mash she certainly grew up eating. Jagermeister strikes again! So many years after the World Wars and Germany still wants revenge against the British.

Back to the issue at hand, these substances can cause cold burns to the mouth, throat and stomach, if ingested. Once it hits the stomach, it can warm rapidly, releasing air and other gases that can cause the stomach to burst… now that would be one epic fart.

This poor girl had to have a total gastrectomy (their words, not mine), which will certainly become all the rage for women, when it’s revealed that this process forcibly causes people to eat less, never feel hungry, and without a stomach, they won’t get big bellies.

If you are ever to order one of these “frozen” cocktails, you are advised to make sure the dry ice or liquid nitrogen has completely dissipated before taking a sip. That’s the issue here. This young girl was so fired up to get some booze into her system (aren’t we all!) that she couldn’t wait. Remember this little ditty I wrote to stay safe: If there’s steam, you’ll scream… if it’s clean, time to get smashed (I just didn’t feel like making it all rhyme… it’s more memorable that way!).

I have now tried a nitrogen cocktail, with Mrs. Sip at Hyde Lounge in Las Vegas. While they made the drink right in front of you with a travelling mixing bowl, it wasn’t served until the nitrogen had completely evaporated. The result was a frozen, blended recipe that tasted great as it slowly melted into a drinkable consistency.

I will discuss Molecular Mixology more in future blog posts. For the time being, like our stomachless friend from the UK, I simply can’t wait to get my drink on…

Drink #117: London Fog

0.75 oz Absinthe (I used Mata Hari)
0.75 oz Gin
Garnish with a Lemon Wedge

While some dry ice would have been really cool for this shot, I don’t feel like dabbling in the dark arts. I wonder if they ever investigated whether Voldemort was involved in some of these liquid nitrogen incidents? I’m on to you, thou who shall not be named…

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Holy hell this shot tastes like poison. I’m sure that was always the intention, as some shots are merely meant as punishment, but still, I had hoped something would come along and save this blend. Shots are harder to rate than cocktails because of this reputation. You can’t merely score the drink on taste and presentation. People do shots to get drunk… this will certainly get the job done!

April 26 – Jet Black

Posted on April 26, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Rule Britannia

I originally wanted to look at my favourite Britonians… until I realized how many of them I like. So not wanting to bog you, my little sippers, down in an essay of British love, I broke all my beloveds down into a few easy to discern categories. Now let’s do some light reading before some heavy drinking!

The Comedians – Benny Hill, Sacha Baron Cohen, Ricky Gervais, Little Britain Troupe

Benny Hill is a legend, while my other three selections are embarking on careers, hoping to reach the level of fame and success Hill was able to achieve. Thanks to all his wild characters and different accents, I didn’t even know Baron Cohen was British until researching for this post.

The Characters – Sherlock Holmes, Mr. Bean, James Bond, Harry Potter

These are some of my favourites – minus Harry Potter, who I only threw in to appease all the readers. You have the intellect of Holmes, the debonair style of Bond, and the wackiness of Bean. That would make one interesting love child.

The Shows – Are You Being Served?, Keeping Up Appearances, Fawlty Towers, My Family

The British have a very unique style of humour. It’s dry and witty and not as in-your-face as most North American fare. Some of England’s older shows are absolute classics. Although I didn’t include any in the above selections, the Brits also know how to make a great crime drama.

The Music – The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, The Rolling Stones, David Bowie

Wow, we might as well be discussing a ranking of my favourite bands. While it may kill Papa Sip for me to write this, on my list, the number one slot goes to Led Zeppelin, with The Beatles coming in at a very close second.

The Actors – Hugh Laurie, Vinnie Jones, Michael Caine

Well, my three candidates may be quite the mish-mash of English nobility. My preferred role for each, you ask? Hugh Laurie has to be House, Michael Caine is good in so much, but I thought he made a terrific Alfred in the new Batman trilogy and Vinnie Jones was great as the marble-mouthed hooligan in Euro Trip!

The Actresses – Keira Knightley, Emma Watson

These are two delicious young ladies that are known to light up the screen. Knightley was a knockout in the Pirates of the Caribbean series and Watson, once she was of legal age, became a sexy starlet in her own right.

The Dames – Judi Dench, Helen Mirren, Dame Edna

The equivalent to being knighted for a man, these women (and dude in the case of Edna!) have great acting chops. I kind of wish I could be knighted, or that Mrs. Sip could be made a dame. We just don’t have cool things like that on this side of the pond.

The Athletes – Wayne Rooney, David Beckham, The British Bulldog

As a Manchester United fan, I definitely have to give a nod to the likes of Rooney and Beckham, but The British Bulldog Davey Boy Smith also earns mention as one of my earliest favourite wrestlers. Smith was one of the most popular and accomplished English wrestlers, winning numerous championships around the world.

The Celebrities – The Royal Family (especially Kate and sister), Gordon Ramsay, Richard Branson

I’m almost certain the paparazzi phenomenon must have started in the U.K. with Royal Family gawkers. They’re alright, I guess, but give me a meal from Gordon Ramsay and an adventure with Richard Branson any day!

Drink #116: Jet Black

1.5 oz Gin
2 tsp Sweet Vermouth
1 tsp Sambuca
Garnish with Lemon Twist

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This drink was a little pedestrian. The ingredients mixed together well enough, but it wasn’t anything to write home about. And when you’re doing a blog about cocktails, that’s a major issue. I guess I just expected a little more from the drink and was let down.

April 25 – Gimlet

Posted on April 25, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Dirty Drinkin’

Gin’s dirty little nickname is ‘the blue ruin’ and after checking out these songs, while getting down with my inner gin lover, I can completely understand why. Here are the tunes I’ve been listening to:

First Drink: Gin & Juice – Snoop Dogg

The quintessential gin anthem has got the baller in me “Rollin down the street, smokin’ endo, sippin’ on gin and juice.” Laid back, with my mind on my money and my money on my mind, of course! I could basically just rock this jam all night and keep the gin flowing, but let’s check out some other tracks.

Second Drink: Cold Gin – Kiss

This song is pretty rocking and a good follow-up to Snoop Dogg. I gotta say though, that if cheap cold gin is the glue in the relationship Sir Gene Simmons is singing about, things aren’t looking good for this couple’s future. I know a couple good family law lawyers, though!

Third Drink: Bathtub Gin – Phish

These guys really must have loved gin because they also covered Snoop Dogg’s aforementioned Gin & Juice. I think making bathtub alcohol would be a fun little experiment (at this point of inebriation, anything is possible!)… you know, providing the distillation process didn’t blow up your home or anything.

Fourth Drink: Love is Like a Bottle of Gin – The Magnetic Fields

The romantic side of gin is starting to show through and I’m feeling amorous. Unfortunately, I’m home alone, so that means an ice cold shower I suppose. Perhaps the next drink will have me back at a subdued level of passion. There are some interesting lyrics in this little ditty, as the band makes their case for comparison between love and gin.

Fifth Drink: Misery and Gin – Merle Haggard

Now we’re entering the sad portion of the drinking (country music almost always plays a role in the downturn of the evening… that’s why I largely refuse to listen to it).

Sixth Drink: Gin Soaked Boy – Tom Waits

At this point, I am definitely a gin-soaked boy! This is another good tune for its dirty guitar work. A perfect song for getting smashed in some seedy dive bar!

Seventh Drink: You, Me and the Bottle Makes Three – Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

Unlike most of the male population, I’ve never really been into the thought of a ménage à trois. However, if Mrs. Sip wants to snuggle up with me and a bottle of gin, who am I to turn that down!

Drink #115: Gimlet

2 oz Gin (I used Bombay Sapphire)
Splash of Lime Juice
Garnish with Lime Wedge

Well, that was an interesting swing through some ginny music. I’ve concluded I’d rather drink gin than listen to songs about the spirit, but there were a couple decent tracks in this playlist.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This classic drink is wonderfully refreshing! The simplicity of not having to dump a ton of different ingredients into a cocktail has always been preferred by the Sip Advisor. The Lime Juice works really well with the juniper taste of the Gin and would be enjoyed by Gin enthusiasts and rookies alike.

April 24 – Frostbite

Posted on April 24, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Bangers and Mash

Both Mrs. Sip and I have had the privilege to live in England for some time as part of school exchange programs. She lived two hours south of London, at Herstmonceaux Castle, while I spent a term in Preston, in the Northwest… not a castle. Living in England allowed us ample opportunity to explore the country and have numerous adventures!

Beatles Mania

You can’t walk through much of Liverpool without being reminded of the contributions The Beatles made to the realms of music, style, entertainment, politics, and pop culture. Whether walking through Mathew Street to grab a pint at the infamous Cavern Club, visiting The Beatles Story along the Liverpool docks or hell, flying out of the John Lennon Airport (I’ve done them all!) the band and their aura are always around you.

Old Trafford

Home to the perennial contenders, Manchester United, Old Trafford is a haven for fans of the massively popular football club. I was fortunate to get to see a live game at the legendary stadium and also return later with Broski Sip to enjoy the stadium tour, complete with Manchester United Museum. On the subject of football glory, I should also mention that the National Football Museum was located a short walk from my accommodations in Preston, so I was a frequent visitor!

Lake District

Northwest England’s Lake District provides a beautiful and tranquil opportunity to… chase sheep. Okay, so my journey with Mrs. Sip to the Lake District started out as a chance to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city and see all the beautiful landscapes the area had to offer, but it degenerated into a search for crisps, lager, and wildlife harassment!

Stonehenge

No one knows exactly why it’s there and what its purpose was, but that doesn’t mean they won’t charge you to see the wonder of the world. It was an awe inspiring site to see, to be sure, but on the day I visited, by my lonesome, it was a gusty, drizzly day and all I could really do is rush around the entire façade, snapping quick pictures, before taking refuge in the gift shop.

This might be more impressive than the real landmark!

Alton Towers

This theme park had some really neat attractions over its expansive landscape. I remember being impressed by the Duel: The Haunted House Strikes Back ride where you are given a laser gun and have to shoot various haunted targets as you move through a creepy house aboard a vehicle. This park also featured some of the wildest roller coasters I’ve been on including Nemesis and Oblivion.

Canterbury Tales

Most of us have read these harrowing tales sometime throughout our education. My travels to Canterbury were exhaustive, but it was cool to see the Canterbury Cathedral and also embark on the Canterbury Tales interactive tour. It was a little creepy to walk through these story boards with lifelike characters acting out a few of the tales, while being the only person in the entire attraction. I felt as if it was only a matter of time before the cutout came to life and I became the next unwilling member of the stories.

I was pretty sure these models would end up killing me…

Blackpool Pleasure Beach

The really neat thing about Blackpool Pleasure Beach, was how many of its rides were meant to echo famous Disneyland attractions. As an as-regular-as-possible visitor to the California park, Mrs. Sip and I immediately noticed knockoffs of Space Mountain and Alice in Wonderland. There were also some original offerings at the park, such as the intensely wet Valhalla, fast-paced Steeplechase, and bobsled coaster Avalanche.

Cadbury World

Cadbury is the maker of some of the finest chocolate products on the market, so this little landmark was a must hit while Broski Sip and I were in Birmingham to see Ricky Gervais on his stand-up tour. A highlight of the visit was, of course, the chocolate samples, which provided a great picture of your Sip Advisor with chocolate splash across my mouth and a disgustingly sweet grin!

Drink #114: Frostbite

1 oz Gin (I used Tanqueray)
0.5 oz Blue Curacao
0.5 oz Peppermint Schnapps
Top with Lemon-Lime Soda
Garnish with Lemon Wedge

Now before you go off, wildly packing your bags and booking last minute flights to England, I should remind you of the country’s downsides. Um… well, there’s the… no, I actually like that… oh, just go ahead and don’t forget your neck pillow… it’s going to be a looooong flight!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I’m always cautious when throwing Peppermint Schnapps into any cocktail. It just seems like a liquor that doesn’t necessarily play well with others. On this occasion, though, it made friends for life with all its fellow ingredients and the group could have auditioned for America’s Best Dance Crew with the way they were entertaining my mouth!

April 23 – Highland Berry

Posted on April 23, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

London Calling

London is easily one of my favourite cities in the world. As we celebrate St. George’s Day (England’s National Day), let’s take a look at some of my favourite attractions in the kingdom’s capital.

Hop-On, Hop-Off Bus Tour

I’ve been on a few of these tours and London has, by far, the most intricate and expansive map. You can hop on/off anywhere across the city, including Buckingham Palace, the famous Harrod’s department store, or Piccadilly Square. There’s only so much you can fit into one day of running around London, so plan ahead and be sure to use their transfer system and get full use out of your bus pass.

London Eye/Thames River Cruise

Going for a circuit in the London Eye, which is located along the banks of the Thames River allows you to see the entire city in all of its glory. When your ride is over, why not hop aboard a boat and sail down river on the world famous Thames. You get to pass by London Bridge, which thankfully is no longer falling down.

West End Theatre

I’ve been privileged to see a number of productions during my stops in London, including the legendary Mouse Trap, Wicked, Avenue Q and The Hounds of Baskerville. On our upcoming visit to the city, Mrs. Sip and I will be seeing The Book of Mormon and Rock of Ages. Surely these shows will measure up to the high standards the theatre district is known for.

Sherlock Holmes Museum

Residing at 221B Baker Street, this is where the fictional Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson lived together, solving the various sundry tales that came to their attention. Today, a museum dedicated to the detective and his partner stands at the address. One of the newest incarnations (the BBC series) of Sherlock Holmes mysteries are a must-watch selection from this Sip Advisor.

Rock N’ Roll Tour

London is crammed full of Rock N’ Roll history. Just the number of musicians that died in the city reads like a who’s who of the industry. I’ll never forget being driven through London’s suburbs as our driver jammed out to Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven”. You can complete your tour with a meal at either the Hard Rock Café or Rolling Stones-inspired Sticky Fingers.

Jack the Ripper Tour

The case of Jack the Ripper is a fascinating one. He murdered at least five prostitutes and intrigue into the identity of the killer remains to this day. I have personally accused a number of individuals, with varying results. The tour The Family Sip took a few years back finished at the Sherlock Holmes Pub, where a round of pints were the next mystery to be solved.

Tower of London

Speaking of Jack the Ripper, had he ever been caught, this is likely where he would have been hanged. The Tower is now home to the crown jewels of the royal family. If I could just get my hands on a trinket or two on display here, I’d be set for life. Perhaps Kate Middleton would come hang out with me, too!

Drink #113: Highland Berry

1.5 oz Hendricks Gin
0.5 oz Raspberry Liqueur
Splash of Cranberry Juice
Top with Tonic Water
Garnish with Raspberries

Mrs. Sip insists I also mention the numerous free museums around London. These are wondrous places, but I’m just not a massive museum fan, myself. That said, here’s a drink to merry old England. Thanks for the memories. Cheers!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
Not a bad cocktail to salute England with, but the Tonic Water was once again a bit detestable. Thankfully the Hendrick’s Gin and Raspberry Liqueur were both delicious in their own right and the Cranberry Juice made its usual contribution of not hurting a recipe. I loved putting this drink in a goblet… it just felt right!