January 15 – Purple Flirt

Posted on January 15, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Tim Horton’s, Target and Rotisserie Chicken, Oh My!

Recently I wrote about my own “Missed Connection,” playing off the Craigslist page where you can write to someone you randomly bumped into and wonder if they noticed you too. That got the editorial team (my wife and me) at The Sip Advisor thinking that there could be some other good missed connections out there worth dissecting. It didn’t take very long at all to find a few diamonds in the rough. If only these people could be as bold in their real life as they are behind their keyboards (pot calling the kettle black!?!?). Perhaps the Purple Flirt would have helped them?

Missed Connections: Timmy Ho’s

i seen you again today my sweet honey crueller

quit being so cruel too me

i saw you eating a big bowl of tim hostrons chilly – you coulndt get enouf

the napkins were all overthe table stained in with sweet tims

i think you also had a boston cream donut on the side wit ha cocna cola (you awlays order the same thign)

i was the one whoe ordered the bbq chicken snack wraper with canadian maple and M double-doulble

wont u be my honey curller? i will fill you up with my boston cream 😉

Advisor’s Take: I don’t think we’re talking about donuts anymore! Maybe we never were. Does the girl this poster is writing about have scoliosis? Why else would she be comparable to the twisted honey cruller?

Why do guys think the quickest route to a woman’s heart is through vulgarity? What happened to chivalry!? I guess you just don’t find true romance at Tim Horton’s anymore.

I think both of these people are lost causes: one’s a messy eater and I’ve personally had “enouf” of the other’s writing style.

Missed Connection: Dinner and a Shopping Spree

Hi babe where are you?

you pulled in last week with you gray van
and you wayed to me from inside the van
you throw me a kiss,,,,,,,,,looking for you
badly……lets meet again and go for dinner
and i will take you to Target for shopping
You could buy anything you want NO LIMIT

Advisor’s Take: Damn! An all-expenses paid trip to Target?!!… What gal wouldn’t jump all over that!? (I’d jump all over that!). Can you imagine how that would go? I’d go absolutely crazy in the candy aisle, grabbing Skittles and Starburst before going into a candy-induced coma. And let’s not even think about what could be achieved in the liquor and mixer aisles. I’d ruin this guy and put him into debt for years to come. Just like the club, he couldn’t handle me!

I also can’t believe how awful the grammar and spelling is in these posts. It makes me scared for the future of this world.

Missed Connections: Rear-Ender

Thanks for rear-ending me [with your shopping cart]!! haha… I loved your juicy, succulent, breasts… delicious thighs… and then I looked away from your rotisserie chicken and saw your very sexy smile…. 😉

Let’s chat. Look forward to hearing back from you.

Advisor’s Take: What a great opening line: your rotisserie chicken! I’m totally going to steal that for my own repertoire. This guy is actually quite clever. I’d give him a chance. And what a tale to tell your future grandchildren. Grandma and grandpa met when grandma rear-ended grandpa. Ha ha… because, you know, women are bad at driving! Oh grandpa, you’re such a card…

Drink #15: Purple Flirt

1.5 oz Vodka
1 oz Sambuca
Top with cranberry juice
Garnish with pick of Maraschino cherries

Well, the drink didn’t really turn out purple, as you can see. I guess that’s symbolic of the “Missed Connections” on Craigslist. Sometimes things just don’t work out no matter how hard (or little) you try.

Seen any other crazy or funny “Missed Connections”? Send them my way, as I’m always in search of a good laugh!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
While there were a few disappointing elements to this cocktail, what dropped its score the most was the fact it didn’t even turn out purple. Next the mixing of Sambuca and Cranberry Juice is one I still question. They just don’t seem to fit together.

January 9 – Appletini

Posted on January 9, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Signature Drinks

One of my favourite wrestlers – yeah, that’s right, I watch wrestling, so what of it? I like to watch a good slobber-knocker every now and again, while sipping back the booze… mmm, booze… wait, where was I? As I was saying, one of my favourite wrestlers of all time, the ‘Fallen Angel’ Christopher Daniels, started a gimmick recently in which he’s always seen with an Appletini during interviews and even while coming down to the ring. This got me thinking (and drinking) about the Appletini, of course, and also about the characters out there that are associated with a particular drink, frequently having it in their possession.

Julian – Trailer Park Boys (Rum & Coke)

It is a rare sight to see Julian without a rum and coke in his hands and there were many times throughout the run of Trailer Park Boys when viewers marveled over the tasks he was able to complete while not spilling his coveted beverage. Among them, playing street hockey and running from the cops in a high-speed chase.

Ron Swanson – Parks & Recreation (Scotch)

Tough as nails, Ron Swanson refuses to drink anything but Lagavulin Scotch. Only once has he departed from his nectar-of-choice, after co-worker Tom Haverford designed snake juice (described as a high-end Kahlua style liquor by its creator, but as basically rat poison by others – to be discussed in a future post on invented drinks) and bet Ron he would love it. Ron did and the result was the video posted below.

The Dude – The Big Lebowski (White Russian)

Throughout the movie, The Big Lebowski, The Dude enjoys nine White Russian cocktails. There’s even a drinking game out there, where players are supposed to have a White Russian every time The Dude has one. That’s an impressive feat and could be a future Liquor Challenge for myself (coming soon to The Sip Advisor)!

Don Draper – Mad Men (Old Fashioned)

Sorry, Don… no photo for you!

Mad Men sucks… sorry, it had to be said. I love how my site can be a platform for me to hate things! I’d start writing about Mr. Draper, his drink of choice and his show, but too many words have been wasted on—

(see what I did there?)

Carrie Bradshaw – Sex and the City (Cosmopolitan)

The ladies of Sex and the City revitalized this cocktail after making it their favourite libation. As I recently wrote in my Cosmo post, I do enjoy this drink and for that, I guess I have to thank Carrie and company for making it so popular in restaurants. In return for my gesture of gratefulness, I only ask that there be no more Sex and the City movies. Deal?

Ron Burgundy – Anchorman (Scotch)

“I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly.” That is one of many amazingly funny quotes about scotch in Anchorman. I can’t wait for the Anchorman sequel, where I’m sure Ron will get back to his womanizing, scotch-loving ways. Stay classy, San Diego!

Burton Mercer – The Blues Brothers (Orange Whip)

The ‘Orange Whip’ isn’t pictured, but you can tell that this guy is a booze hound!

Mercer’s drinking of this beverage even inspired a renaissance of sorts for it. I definitely need to steal his way of asking who wants a drink. He basically makes a drink for each time he asks if anyone wants one and then likely enjoys them all, himself. “Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips.” Ha, classic!

James Bond – James Bond Series (Vodka Martini/Vesper: shaken, not stirred)

Everybody has done the “shaken, not stirred” joke at some point in their life. We get it, you watch movies and can quote one of the shortest and most misinformed lines featured on the silver screen. The funny thing is that the way Mr. Bond has his drink constructed, is actually incorrect. Anytime you are only using alcohols, with no mixers involved, it’s recommended that you stir your ingredients, rather than shake, so as not to bruise the alcohol too much and diminish its taste. Tisk, tisk, James…

And finally…

J.D. – Scrubs (Appletini, easy on the tini)

And now we come full circle! Like wrestler, Christopher Daniels, J.D. on Scrubs loved his Appletinis. Despite the fact most bartenders mistook him for being female, as a result of his drink order, J.D. would not be deterred and that takes some balls. J.D. even paid $105 for an Appletini once, but found it a little too light on the ‘tini’. Let’s salute J.D. and make him a proper one.

Drink #9: Appletini

Muddle 8-10 of chunks of green apple
2 oz vodka
1 oz Rose’s Green Apple Mixer
Garnish with green apple slices

The best part about putting this piece together is that it has inspired me to make some cocktails I had previously never tried. I’ve always wanted to try the Bond-styled martini – although I’ll be stirring my ingredients, thank you very much – and the Orange Whip intrigues me, as well. I also have never had a true old fashioned yet, but I will certainly not be thinking about ‘the show that shall not be named’ when I enjoy the classic concoction.

Have I missed anything? Did I neglect your favourite character and their drink of choice? Drop me a line and chew me out, just make sure to have fun with your insults. Until next time…

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I like the Appletini… there, I said it. That sour apple flavour, while not my favourite, is quite tasty. One must always be sure to use sour green apples for this recipe. I guess you could use red or golden delicious, but what would be the point.

January 6 – The Cosmopolitan

Posted on January 6, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Cosmo’s Aren’t Just for the Ladies

Don't be so shocked, Skeletor, dudes be drinknig Cosmos, too!

Don’t be so shocked, Skeletor, dudes be drinking Cosmos too!

When I was 12 I had one of my kidneys removed, leaving me with a wicked scar that surprisingly worked well with the ladies. I like to think I know how studs like Ryan Reynolds and Matthew McConaughey feel with people everywhere ogling their midsection… only problem, I don’t have a ripped abdominal core… I’m on the freak side of the awe and attention. But that’s not the point of this story.

Prior to the operation I met with a dietary physician or something like that – basically someone who tells you what to eat and drink and what not to indulge in. I was told to reduce my salt intake (never really happened… seasoning salt, I put that shit on everything), drink alcohol in small doses when I became of legal age (you think I listened to that advice… I’m doing this blog, aren’t I) and to drink cranberry juice (lame… gross… hated the vile substance). That is, until recently, when I tried a Cosmo on my honeymoon cruise – hell, it was handed out to me for free – and found that cranberry juice wasn’t so bad after all… providing vodka, triple sec and lime juice are large portions of the mix.

Now, the Cosmo is likely one of the most ordered “Girls Night Out” drinks, but I’m going to team up with the drink and bring equality to the cocktail world. Together, we will change this perception that the Cosmo is only for the ladies. Like the You Can Play campaign in the hockey/sport universe, I vow that You Can Drink a Cosmo, or any other martini, and not feel ashamed to be doing so.

There’s nothing wrong with a man holding a pink drink. A few months back, I even had a Cotton Candy Collins at Society in Vancouver. The restaurant being empty that particular afternoon might have helped, but it was worth the risk to enjoy this creative cocktail, which, of course, came with a healthy dose of pink cotton candy on the top of the drink and has inspired me to do a future Candy Drink Week.

Back to the Cosmo… I began to make them more regularly and before I knew it, a bottle of juice that I thought would sit in my fridge untouched for years was nearly empty. As you’ve seen in previous entries, I often don’t play by the rules in my cocktail construction, and for the Cosmo, this is no different. I personally prefer to drink a Cosmo on ice and in a rocks glass (as I first enjoyed it on the cruise), but for the purposes of this entry, I’ve presented the drink in a martini glass, as that is the traditional method. Just put all the ingredients into a shaker and strain.

Drink #6: The Cosmo

1.5 oz vodka (I used raspberry vodka just to girl it up a little more!)
1 oz Cointreau or other triple sec
Top with cranberry juice
Splash of lime juice
Garnish with lime wedge

All that’s left is to get cozy in a fuzzy robe and slippers (picture coming soon), throw on your favourite chick flick (mine’s Debbie Does Dallas – that counts right?!) and sip the night away!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
It may be a girly drink, but it’s a good one. The Cosmo was one of the first drinks that allowed me to enjoy Cranberry Juice and for that, I have to thank it. I have to admit though, my favourite ingredient is the splash of Lime Juice.

January 3 – Manhattan

Posted on January 3, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

The Rat Pack enjoy a drink and a laugh together. Not a rare sight.

The Manhattan is one of my favourite cocktails. It makes me think about the glory days of The Rat Pack – it was among their preferred drink of choice, after all – and the sort of Golden Age they lived through. Back when you had to have some level of talent to be a star, instead of a boob job, hit YouTube video or trashy reality show. A time of fedora hats, pin-striped suits and crazy, yet mysteriously classy parties. I love the stories of Frank, Dean, Sammy and the gang working long hours filming their movies and partying through the night before heading back to work the next day. These guys oozed swagger and machismo and made it look easy. If these originators of cool loved the Manhattan, that’s good enough for me.

Near the top on my growing bucket list, liquor edition, is have a Manhattan, while in Manhattan. If I happen to be donning a fedora and be decked out in a pin-striped suit, that would be the icing on the cake. Not that I’m saying that I own a fedora and pin-striped suit (but I do). I like to think that I’d be making the boys proud.

The Manhattan recipe is fairly simple, but one of the beauties of it is the interchangeable parts. I like trying different whiskies and bourbons to achieve a different taste. Some of my preferred alcohols to use include Jim Beam Black Cherry Bourbon (suggested to me by an instructor at Fine Art Bartending), Jack Daniel’s Honey Whiskey (suggested by me to that very same instructor) and for the Canadian in all of us, Crown Royal. The Sweet Vermouth can also be subbed out for a variety of different results. Dry Vermouth can be used instead, as can other liqueurs like Maraschino Cherry flavoured, Grand Marnier and many other options. Be playful with your own recipe and see what you come up with.

There are two ways that I like to present the Manhattan. The first is in a martini glass (the traditional way) and the second is on ice in a rocks glass. Both drinks use the same proportions, with the only difference being that for the Manhattan martini, you stir (don’t shake) all the ingredients with ice and strain from a mixer. Both drinks I’ve garnished with a Maraschino cherry, although the cherry in the martini glass just sunk to the bottom to make nice bourbon-soaked treat waiting for you at the finish line!

Drink #3: The Manhattan

3 oz Whiskey or Bourbon of your choice (I used Jim Beam Black Cherry Bourbon)
2 oz Sweet Vemouth
Dashes of Angostura Bitters
Garnish with a Maraschino Cherry

Let me know if you have any whiskey suggestions or any other tweaks to the Manhattan recipe. Thanks for reading and enjoy!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I love Manhattans so much that I made two different versions! I’ve always been more of an ‘on the rocks’ type guy, but the Martini version of the cocktail was good, too. I have to give a super thumbs up to my decision to use Black Cherry Bourbon in these recipes and suggest you do, as well.

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

Category Archives: Martini Recipes