July 31 – Bronx

Posted on July 31, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Bronx Bombers

Alright, no time for chit-chat. We have a busy couple days as we tour New York City. So, throw on your iPod, kick start your Jay-Z playlist, and let’s run this town tonight!

Go to the Empire State Building

I’ve heard mixed reviews about this landmark, with most complaining that the multiple line-ups you have to stand in to get to the top are poorly planned, frustrating, and not worth it. Still, you may only be there once, so you might as well do all the tourist traps. Make sure to toss a penny from the top. It’s good luck, as long as you’re not down below!

king-kong-hugs-the-empire-state-building

Even King Kong loves the Empire State Building!

Watch a Yankees Game

While the team has moved into a new facility and I’ve missed a chance to see old Yankee Stadium, it would be a top priority to catch one of North America’s most storied franchises play. Of course, if you go as a Red Sox fan, you can also cross off your list “being yelled at by a New Yorker” and possibly “being beaten up by a New Yorker”!

See a Broadway Musical

Trivia: Which production revived New York’s Broadway scene in the 1990’s? Answer: The Lion King. Broadway is a street of dreams, where careers can be born, resurrected, and crushed. While I’m not sure which show I’d check out, it would be a must-do attraction, especially given Mrs. Sip’s penchant for the performing arts.

Get Stuck in Traffic

A movie set in New York always features a chaotic traffic scene, showing lines of cars backed-up for miles. We’ve all been in traffic jams in our hometowns, but New York is surely a different animal. If you don’t want to get into a cab, at least try crossing a multi-lane street, weaving through idle cars, with horns blaring and driver’s swearing.

Enjoy Rockefeller Center

If you visit in the winter, you have to take in the skating rink and perhaps giant Christmas tree (if it’s up). Within the area, the Rainbow Room is said to provide one of the best views of the city and even better, you get to drink while taking it all in… take that, Empire State Building!

Eat Street Meat

I’m not sure if New York gave birth to the food cart movement, but it definitely embraced the ideals of getting your meal on the go. It seems you can get nearly every food known to man around the city, but I’d stick to traditional fare, such as pizza and hot dogs. If you have a sensitive stomach, just be cautious while doing so!

Visit the NHL Head Office

As a long-time hockey fan (since I was a wee little sipper with my sippy cup), it would be great to go to the NHL offices… and yell at commissioner Gary Bettman, if only on behalf of Pa Sip! Perhaps they’d offer me a job or at least let me suspend a player or two. As long as I’m not presiding over another lockout, all will be well.

Reflect at the World Trade Center Site

I’ve been told that the memorial built on the site of the World Trade Center is quite remarkable, with its reflecting pools, waterfalls, and landscaping. While I have no personal ties to the tragedy, a visit would still provide a chance to think of the humanity shown through all the people that risked their lives to save others and how people can truly come together in the face of grief for a common good.

Throw Some Money Down on Wall Street

I don’t take many risks in life – unless they involve jumping off of high surfaces – but it would be neat to buy and sell some stock… that is, until you realized that your miniscule life savings were gone. Perhaps I’ll just go there when I’m taking this juggernaut of a site public. Buy in now and reap the rewards that are surely to come when we all cash out!

Drink #212: Bronx

1.5 oz Gin (I used Tanqueray)
0.75 Sweet Vermouth
0.5 Dry Vermouth
Top with Orange Juice
Garnish with Orange Wheel

Join us tomorrow for more New York City sights, sounds and attractions. Perhaps, by then, we’ll be out of this traffic jam and onto our next destination!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
While I’m not much of a fan of cocktails with Orange Juice, this one wasn’t that bad. Gin and the Vermouths team up in their usual complimentary style and with the OJ, it’s a decent drink all around.

July 29 – Bloody Roadrunner

Posted on July 29, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Crime & Punishment

Throughout history, we have been introduced to many evil characters (real and fictional). Some of these folks have paid greatly for their misdeeds, but some have not received their comeuppance. Here are a few most people would like to see get theirs:

The Roadrunner – Looney Tunes

This drink’s namesake has always gotten the best of Wile E. Coyote, which saddens me because I’m a staunch supporter of the coyote. Granted, it’s funny to see the poor guy constantly falling off cliffs and having massive desert rocks crush him, but I know we’d all love to see The Roadrunner get caught and turned into Roadrunner Stew. Beep, beep that you little bastard!

Tweety Bird – Looney Tunes

Similar to The Roadrunner, Tweety Bird is the bane of Sylvester the Cat’s existence. Poor Sylvester just can’t seem to catch that bird and the end result is another smattering of Band-Aids to heal all of Sylvester’s wounds. My feline sidekick Furious B. (aka Bam Bam… that’s right, my cat is so epic he has two names) is a bird catching expert, often leaving little presents for Ma and Pa Sip. Perhaps he could lend some advice to Sylvester and together they could eradicate the bird population.

Joffrey Baratheon – Game of Thrones

I’m sure it’s eventually coming, but I can’t wait to see this little brat get knocked down a few thousand pegs. Hell, throw in his mother and grandfather and let them all get treated to some revenge best served cold. It will be a complete pleasure to see this little psychopath meet his maker. The only question is, who will be the one to get to him? There’s already a long and growing list of potential vindicators!

Wrestling Heel – All Promotions

The history of professional wrestling has been filled with dastardly bad guys, who cheat and coward their way to the top. All you want to see is them get locked in a steel cage and get their ass handed to them on a silver platter, courtesy of the heroic good guy who just can’t take the injustice anymore. Some of the best in history include Triple H, Ric Flair, Edge, Ted DiBiase, and even WWE chairman Vince McMahon.

Brad Marchand – Boston Bruins

While I don’t wish anything bad on most hockey players, there is one I wouldn’t mind hearing had post-concussion issues and that is the reigning rat king of the NHL, Brad Marchand. He is a talented player, but he’s also dirty and much like the rest of his team, gets away with more than most players are able to. The way he repeatedly punched Daniel Sedin during the 2011 Stanley Cup Finals – and got away with it – was disgusting.

The Governor – The Walking Dead

While The Governor has suffered his own share of tragedy, much like the rest of the survivors in AMC’s Zombie infested world, his sneaky, vile behavior begs that he receives even more misfortune. And you can bet Rick and company will deliver. All we have to do is wait for Season 4 to kick-off and revenge plans should be in motion. Sadly, The Governor’s remaining troops might eliminate a few more of the good guys before it’s all said and done.

Nurse Ratched – One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

This evil woman is the domineering presence reigning over the mental institution in which Randle McMurphy finds himself sent to. Nurse Ratched is responsible for the lobotomy of McMurphy, which renders him useless, after he continued to defy her authority despite shock therapy and other punishments. Granted McMurphy nearly choked Ratched to death (after she caused the suicide of a young, frightened patient) and caused her injury to her neck and vocal cord, but she never truly faces retribution for her abuse of power and patients.

Drink #210: Bloody Roadrunner

1.5 oz Southern Comfort
Top with half Sports Drink and half Fruit Punch
Garnish with Raspberries

Unfortunately, we may never see some of these people get their comeuppance. We are allowed to dream, however, and dream we shall!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This is a tasty cocktail, but could use something in the form of bubbles to give it a little more zest. Otherwise, it goes down a little too easy like juice or iced tea.

July 28 – The Ultimate Warrior

Posted on July 28, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Battle Royal

The TV show Deadliest Warrior takes a look at hypothetical battles between ancient armies, modern day forces, and ruthless leaders. The fine folks running the program have lent me their software, in exchange for my Nintendo Wii, and I’ve decided to run some data. Here are a few Deadliest Warrior simulations I’ve run through their super computer:

Muppets vs. American Gladiators

On paper, this looks to be a no-brainer, but in reality, while the American Gladiators are hulking, intimidating foes, you really can’t hurt a Muppet. Muppets are practically invincible and you have to figure that the Gladiators will tire eventually, especially with the Muppets constantly cracking jokes – some good, some awful.
Winner: Muppets – No matter how many times the American Gladiators shot at the Muppets with their patented tennis ball cannon or smacked the likes of Kermit, Gonzo and Fozzy with jousting sticks, the persistent Muppets continued to attack. In particular, Animal was a brave and wild soldier, attacking the Gladiators with total disregard for his own well-being.

Skeletons vs. Monkeys

The real issue here is whether or not skeletons are prone to pain. Can you kill what is already dead? I say, hypothetically yes. Monkey weaponry is a mixed bag of tactics. There is, of course, the dung bomb, as well as the much-feared fury attack. Skeletons, however, are just creepy and can move around in an unfathomable manner.
Winner: The monkeys’ ability to attack and retreat gives them the edge in this close battle.

Cats vs. Jelly Beans

Cats may be lazy and easily distracted, but they also have a killer instinct when searching for “gifts” for their owners. Jelly beans are perhaps even lazier than kitties, just lying there, waiting to be eaten. Much like a possum, however, a jelly bean’s greatest asset is lying in wait and delivering sometimes grotesque flavours upon its attacker. Unless the jelly bean is tuna-flavoured, it may have an advantage on cats.
Winner: Jelly Beans – In a battle of who cares less, shockingly kittens do, and the last standing–as the cats pursue other interests like strings and bouncing balls–is the inanimate candy.

Hockey Players vs. Decepticons

On one hand, hockey players are some of the toughest dudes on the planet, known for playing through serious injury and never hesitating to sacrifice their body, en route to championship glory. On the other hand, the Decepticons are freakin’ robots… and evil robots, at that. Although given how some hockey players answer media questions, that depiction might not be solely for the Transformers.
Winner: I have to side with the hockey players. If Shia Labeouf can take on the Decepticons, is easy to fathom some of hockey’s greatest goons standing a chance, too.

Fast Food Servers vs. Jedis

I mean sure, one side has mind-power abilities and weapons that can slice through human flesh, but the other side are freakin’ Jedis! See what I did there… totally suckered you all in. The Jedis have a distinct advantage going into this battle, but never underestimate a slacker who holds you meal’s fate in his hands. Fast food servers can over season it, under cook it, or worst of all, spit on it!
Winner: I gotta give the W to the Jedis thanks to leadership from puppets like Yoda and Samuel L. Jackson.

Moonshiners vs. Birdwatchers

While moonshiners have the weaponry and will defend their stash to the death, birdwatchers are patient and can wait for unbelievable amounts of time prior to stealthy strikes. You also have to figure that the moonshiners will be plastered and that could alter their abilities on the battlefield.
Winner: The moonshiners get the duke for two reasons: shotguns trump binoculars and who the hell can ever have any respect for people who care about birds!

Drink #209: The Ultimate Warrior (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

Rim glass with Sprinkles
0.5 oz Jagermeister
0.5 oz Wiser’s Spiced Whiskey
0.5 oz Crowberry Frost Liqueur
Top with Root Beer

Are there any other battles you want me to run through the simulator, before I return the Deadliest Warrior computer to its rightful owner? If you can manage to make me laugh, I’ll have cocktail in your honour!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I picked liquors that I felt fell under the “warrior” motif. Jagermeister and Wiser’s both run ads about earning the right to drink their spirits and Crowberry Frost Liqueur makes me think of Game of Thrones (Winter is coming, you know). Root Beer was my pick for mixer because, let’s be honest, it is above and beyond the most manly soft drink in existence. The Sprinkles came to mind when thinking about former wrestling star The Ultimate Warrior’s face paint. Put it all together and you have one hell of a cocktail!

July 22 – Cincinnati Lunchbox

Posted on July 22, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Burger Bar

Very few things compliment a tall, cold mug of beer like burgers do. I’ve been privileged to enjoy a number of fine selections. Here are some of my favourites:

Legendary Burger – White Spot

A darling of Western Canada (particularly the province of British Columbia), I can rarely remember a trip to White Spot that didn’t result in ordering this burger. You scan the menu every single time and even contemplate ordering something other than the norm, but you always end up asking for your favourite and you never regret doing so. The secret recipe Triple-O sauce is to die for and should be available to purchase.

Prime Rib Burger – The Keg

Ordered off of its bar menu, most Keg restaurants will allow this to be selected even if you’re in their main dining room, as well. The ones that don’t are listed near the top of my always growing ‘enemy list’. This burger is absolutely fantastic. The seasoning, combined with all the toppings makes for one tasty meal. Take my advice and throw in an extra buck for the bacon. Unbelievably, it’s one of the cheapest items on the restaurant’s menu to boot!

Whopper – Burger King

Flame broiled, yes please! The thing I love best about the Whopper is that it is loaded with toppings. Toppings are essential to any burger enjoyment and the King has read that message loud and clear. I appreciate that the chain has found its way into a number of airports, giving me an opportunity to have a decent meal on the run. Burger King is also one of the few food vendors in movie theatres around my parts, taking advantage of hungry moviegoers.

Big Xtra – McDonalds

Although I can only find this burger (known as the Big N’ Tasty in the U.S.) at Wal-Mart-connected McDonalds, it is worth the trip. In my opinion, all burgers need essential ingredients and this meal covers all the bases. You have your lettuce, tomato, mayo, ketchup, pickles, and onions… all the colours of the rainbow. Perhaps the only thing missing is a couple strips of bacon, but we’ll let that transgression pass.

Big Crunch – KFC

I had to include a chicken burger on this list and the best place in the world for bird meat is hands down KFC. I haven’t had a Big Crunch in a couple years, but just writing this has me craving the delicious 11 secret herbs and spices recipe. A little tip for chicken burger connoisseurs, try dipping your meal in ketchup before each bite, adding another wonderful flavour to the mix.

Kobe Beef Sliders – Milestones

Perhaps the only thing better than one big burger is three mini burgers! Most of my beef selections come sans cheese, but in this case, I’m happy to leave the mozzarella on. The Milestones sliders are topped with crispy onion straws and are accompanied by a delicious sesame mustard sauce for dipping. The appetizer is perfect for sharing and Mrs. Sip and I have been known to gorge ourselves on a couple starters prior to skipping dinner!

Bacon Deluxe – Red Mill Burgers

I learned of Red Mill Burgers watching Man vs. Food, as host Adam Richman toured a selection of restaurants in Seattle, Washington. Thankfully, that means the franchise’s locations are only a two-hour drive away for Mrs. Sip and I. Well worth it, I would say! When we arrived, the line-up for ordering was out the door and it didn’t take long to understand why. Loaded with toppings and the delicious Mill Sauce, I was in burger heaven and I enjoyed the euphoria the entire two-hour trip home!

Drink #203: Cincinnati Lunchbox

1 oz Amaretto
Top with half Orange Juice and half Beer (I used GIB Hefeweizen)
Garnish with Orange Slice

All this talk of burgers has got me really hungry… and all this mentioning of beer has got me really thirsty. Why won’t someone satisfy my needs!? I don’t ask for much. Only to be fed, thirst quenched, and legions of fans who will do my bidding!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Not a bad beer cocktail, but a little sweet and not really memorable… it doesn’t live up to the burgers listed above. I was looking forward to this drink, as Hefeweizen Beers are my favourite, but I think the Orange Juice took over too much.

July 19 – Tennessee Honeycomb

Posted on July 19, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

And the Winner Is…

Today we celebrate drink #200. People often ask me what I hope to get out of this site and I simply tell them that as long as I’m enjoying the ride (and all you little sippers out there are, as well), then that’s all I really need. But it would be nice to be bought out for a lifetime supply of booze and some stock options! On with the awards…

Biggest Surprise

Sometimes I go into making a drink with very little hope I’ll actually enjoy the recipe. Other times, I think a cocktail is going to be wicked awesome and it fails to deliver. This edition’s nominees include a Caesar recipe I made seconds of; the McNuggetini with its delicious blend of milkshake and barbecue sauce; and the sadly disappointing Chocolate Milk Mojito.

Nominees: Caesar, McNuggetini, Chocolate Milk Mojito

Winner: McNuggetini – I had faith in this concoction, but was still stunned at how well a Chocolate Milkshake and Barbecue Sauce could meld together!

Best Site Searches

There have been some really funny searches that have brought visitors to this site. While I wouldn’t classify these people as members of Sip Nation or as little sippers in any way possible, they have stumbled upon my little slice of the internet through explorations that range from bizarre to downright hilarious.

Nominees: ninjas hate crunchy leaves; guys crotch lederhosen; how to use trollop in a sentence; morning sex cardio; cat litter cocaine; wedding planning sucks

Winner: how to use trollop in a sentence – I knew my legacy in life was to be a teacher and I hope readers everywhere have learned a number of lessons from my warped mind.

Most Difficult Drink

I’ve learned throughout life that nothing comes easy… even when making cocktails. These nominees include the Whiskey Sick Day, where whip cream made a mess of everything; the Seven Deadly Sins shot, which required me to layer six different ingredients; and the Bend Me Over Slammer, which did not want to cooperate in the fizz department.

Nominees: Whiskey Sick Day, Seven Deadly Sins, Bend Me Over Slammer

Winner: Seven Deadly Sins – I had to be uber careful with this shooter because any false step and the ingredients would blend together, forcing me to start from scratch.

Best Garnish

I’m a huge fan of the garnishing game and I work hard to make my drinks unique. Sometimes the best thing for a drink is a simple lemon, lime, or orange wheel or wedge, but anytime I can break outside of the box, I’ll be sure to do that. While this is a tough category to trim down, it must be done for the sake of awesomeness.

Nominees: Gummy Snakes, Caesar Eco-System, PB&J Rim, Decapitated Strawberry, Barbecue Sauce Rim and Chicken McNugget

Winner: Gummy Snakes (used on Mojave Green Rattlesnake) – I delayed this drink by two months, searching for gummy snakes and the wait was well worth it when you see the final product.

Best Photo

This is another very tough category to pare down and pick a winner for. As previously stated, I work very hard on the presentation of cocktails for this miraculous site. That, combined with Mrs. Sip’s editing abilities and we try to offer a visually wonderful cocktail, regardless of taste and all that other junk!

Nominees: Mojave Green Rattlesnake, Snickertini, Guillotine

Winner: Mojave Green Rattlesnake – I love how this picture turned out, with the gummy snakes cooperating amongst the martini.

Top Shot

A favourite feature of mine on this site is our Super Saturday Shot Day page. Have a visit sometime and see all the hard work we’ve put into getting blitzed on shooters! Here are the best (in my personal opinion, which is all that has ever mattered!) we’ve made over the last 100 drinks.

Nominees: Carpet Licker, B-52, Seven Deadly Sins

Winner: Carpet Licker – While the name may be a turnoff to some (and remember, I don’t come up with these monikers), the shot was delicious and looked fantastic!

Best Drink

And here we are at the big award of the night. You wouldn’t believe what happened for our last winner, the PAMA-Jama. It became the talk of the town, earning seven-figure endorsement deals and TV pilots before substance abuse problems and a falling out with its management team led to one of the quickest rise and falls in stardom history. Let’s hope history doesn’t repeat itself!

Nominees: Raspberry Mojito, Mojave Green Rattlesnake, Coco Bongo, Root Beer Fizz, Tennessee Honeycomb (today’s cocktail!)

Winner: Raspberry Mojito – Each of these cocktails earned a 5-Sip rating, but the Raspberry Mojito takes home the statue thanks to it earning me the reputation of King of Mojitos!

Drink #200: Tennessee Honeycomb

1.5 oz Jack Daniel’s Honey Whiskey
Top with Ginger Ale
Splash of Lemon Juice
Dash of Orange Bitters
Garnish with Lemon Wheel

Time to return the tuxedo again until drink #300… damn, just realized there’s a little whiskey stain on the breast pocket… I knew I shouldn’t have slammed back so many drinks!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (5 Sips out of 5):
I “borrowed” this recipe from a local restaurant, Steamworks, were I thoroughly enjoyed this cocktail on a recent guy’s night out. Honey Whiskey has to be one of my favourite spirits out there and this drink lets it shine. Orange Bitters are the icing on the cake for this treat, while I’ve already written of my affinity for Ginger Ale as a mixer.

July 18 – Rasputin Cocktail

Posted on July 18, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Idol Worship

Throughout my life, I have found myself fascinated by certain individuals. People whose life stories intrigue me and make me want to actually “learn” more about them and their history. I wouldn’t say that these people are idols of mine, but they are extremely interesting folks, with tales that tend to captivate the masses.

Steve Jobs

While I’m not the biggest fan of Apple and its products (seriously, how annoying is the iTunes interface and non-compatibility?), I find Steve Jobs, the company’s founder and later saviour, to be a captivating case study. He lived a short life, but made the most of his time on earth. We can credit Jobs with so many innovations, from home computers, virtually every device with an ‘i’ in front of it, and even Pixar movies, the company he grew between his Apple stints.

Walt Disney

As a massive fan of Disneyland, I pay much homage to the man who first imagined the concept and then put his dream into work, jeopardizing everything he had built to that point, from reputation to life savings to his studio to his physical well-being. Every time I’m privileged to be in one of his parks (and particularly one that serves alcohol), I’m sure to say a little thanks to the legend and have a drink in his honour.

Ric Flair

For those who read my blog regularly, by now you should know that no Sip Adivsor list would be complete without a wrestling reference. This man styled and profiled his way to wrestling greatness and in the process lived the extravagant lifestyle of his on-screen character. Flair has been married (and divorced) four times and suffered great financial losses from bad investments, legal issues, and a lifetime of partying. Still, the ‘Nature Boy’ keeps ticking, making occasional appearances in the ring and still delighting fans with his over-the-top charisma and energy.

Rasputin

The amazing story of the assassination of Grigori Rasputin is one that first caught my attention in my high school history class. Now that I’ve actually visited Russia and been inside the room where his murder took place, I’m even more enthralled with the legend. For those who don’t know the details, Rasputin was poisoned, shot, stabbed and beaten, before being thrown into the frozen Neva River. Evidence later showed that water was in his lungs when his body was discovered, meaning he was still alive when thrown into his watery grave and likely succumbed to drowning.

Jimmy Stewart

Did you know that the It’s a Wonderful Life star was also a highly-decorated United States military pilot (the only actor to receive a higher ranking was Ronald Reagan, when he became president of the United States and commander-in-chief)? So, not only is Stewart one of my favourite actors, but you have to respect a guy that went to war throughout an acclaimed acting career.

Drink #199: Rasputin Cocktail

2 oz Russian Vodka (I used Beluga)
1 oz Frangelico
Garnish with Lemon Twist

One more person who fascinates me, is myself. I often ponder my own existence and I’m blown away with what I’ve accomplished and continue to achieve. I’m a wrecking ball of awesomeness, steamrolling the lame, and making this world a better place, one cocktail at a time!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I didn’t think I’d like this cocktail as much as I did. The Frangelico was nice and not overwhelming. I split half of the Vodka portion of the recipe between Plain Vodka and Raspberry Vodka and that accentuated the entire cocktail.

July 17 – Gambon’s Corner

Posted on July 17, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Are You Being Served?

Perhaps it’s my old age, but I’ve found myself increasingly becoming a bit of a stickler for high standards… providing I’m not expected to deliver them! With that in mind, here are the most annoying things about bars:

Troubles Waiting to be Served

It absolutely sucks when you feel that you’re constantly being passed over by the bar staff, in favour of girls who are falling out of their tops and douche bags that are pushy and demanding to be helped. I understand that the bar can get busy, but that’s why queues of any sort should be established. I like the bars where servers work one general area, allowing orders to be processed in a logistical fashion.

Nowhere for Coats

Obviously, this isn’t a big deal during the summer, but I don’t discriminate over seasonal drinking, so it sucks to walk into a bar that only features stools so that you have to throw your coat over your lap or sit on it. I’ve noticed that some joints actually have hooks underneath tables and ledges, allowing you to discard your jacket or other layered paraphernalia.

Lineup outside, Empty Inside

This is a dirty little trick businesses use to drum up business, making it appear like their place is so rocking that people are lining up around the block for the privilege of getting inside. Then, when you do get in, you find the bar, dance floor, etc. to be deserted and you wonder why you ever had to wait to get in at all. Luckily I refuse to wait in line to drink. Why overpay for cocktails I can make myself and waste my time in line when my personal bar is so much better?

Bars that Don’t Announce Last Call

Ever go up to purchase what you think will be your last drink of the evening (at least at the bar… night caps at home are always on the agenda!) and the barkeep informs you that last call has already passed? Well, excuse me… oh no he didn’t… you see, the announcement of last call must be audible to all in attendance and if your establishment is too loud for that (more on that subject later), you should have some sort of bell to impart that wisdom. Otherwise, serve me my god damn drink!

Sticky Floors

When you walk around a bar and you constantly have to pry your feet from the floor, it makes you start to wonder if the hygiene behind the bar matches. How clean is the glassware, the garnishes, the taps, everything? I’m not complaining about a small patch where some jackass just spilled his entire Jager Bomb, but the kind of pub where every step is like Velcro being pulled apart.

People Taking Large Tables for Small Groups

As much as it sucks to walk into a bar and not be able to find a seat, I can live with that (after all, first come, first served), providing people are at tables fit for their party. I understand that grabbing any table that opens up is a huge score, especially if you’ve been waiting a while, but to see two people occupying a table meant for six or eight customers can really be heartbreaking.

Loud/Bad Music

I hate going to places where I can’t converse with Mrs. Sip or any of the friends we may be out with. What’s the point! If we wanted to sit there and listen to music we have no control over, yelling at each other to be heard, and paying for expensive drinks, we should just go to my house. You can donate to the Sip Foundation, while I blast a random iPod, and yell at people about my grievances!

Gross Bathrooms

Given most bars are trying to encourage your appetite for either food, booze, or both, it’s amazing how many places have disgusting bathrooms. Granted, the people drinking in the establishment are really to blame for the mess, but a little regular upkeep will have customers returning to their tables still in the mood for beer and poutine. Mmmm, beer and poutine!

Unisex Bathrooms

Sticking with washroom issues (no, not that kind of issue), whoever dreamt up this idea was a total fool. Guys go the bathroom to get away from the ladies. Otherwise we’d be as rude as we wanted in their presence. And no girl wants to share a bathroom with a dude. They want to keep all their secrets to themselves. Plus, guys love that they never have to wait in line and laugh at the winding queue that usually builds outside the ladies room.

Obnoxious Drunks

We’ve all been there and it’s not a bar’s fault, unless they haven’t done their job to stop serving some twerp, but an obnoxious drunk can be the last straw on whether you stay at a pub or move on to another place. It’s bad when that obnoxious drunk is in your group and they follow you around to every joint you try to hit. Worst yet, if that obnoxious drunk is you, you’ll never be able to escape…

Drink #198: Gambon’s Corner

1.5 oz Tequila (I used 1800 Reposado)
Top with Watermelon Juice
Splash of Lemon Juice
Dashes of Orange Bitters

This drink comes from the Be At One menu I liberated, while on vacation in London recently. It was in this wonderful bar where I first concocted the idea for this post, noting that many other pubs I had visited just couldn’t compare. What draws you ire when you’re out and about town looking for the love of your life, sweet lady liquor!?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I wasn’t sure where to rank this drink. Then I added a little Simple Syrup to the mix to combat how strong the Tequila and Lemon Juice were and we had a hit. For those wondering where the name for this cocktail comes from, that mystery has now been solved thanks to a little research. It is named after Sir Michael Gambon, who completed a Top Gear test track corner (now named in his honour) on only two wheels!

July 16 – Godfather

Posted on July 16, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Classic Concentration

With today’s classic movie named drink, it’s turned my mind to all the landmark movies I’ve never seen, but really should get around to viewing. I’ve spent way too much time watching repeats of Dumb and Dumber and other movies I could see over and over again, instead of trying some new fare. Here’s my list of flicks I hope to check out at a couch near me soon!

Citizen Kane

Noted by many in the industry (and outside it) as the greatest film ever made, the closest I can say I’ve come to seeing it is the spoof The Simpsons did of the classic, with Mr. Burns searching for his long lost teddy bear. To be honest, I’m not ever really sure what Citizen Kane is about other than a sled called Rosebud… I hope I didn’t give away the ending or anything. Retroactive SPOILER ALERT!

My Fair Lady

Another classic film where my understanding of it comes from parodies. Family Guy did an episode once where Stewie Griffin discovers a young, unpolished English girl and works to civilize her, eventually falling in love with her. Musicals are more Mrs. Sips thing, but I’ll play along providing I’ve had enough to drink and I’m given a little treat at the end of the film… mmmm, chocolate ice cream…

Gone With the Wind

“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn!” If that iconic line wasn’t enough, you also have the performances of Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh. Legend has it that the studio had to campaign hard to use that ending line in the film, despite the fact it comes verbatim from the book. Think about the stuff Hollywood gets away with nowadays and it’s very hard to believe those words were ever an issue.

Schindler’s List

Mrs. Sip picked up a special edition set of this film a number of years back and we have still yet to pop it into the DVD player. After touring a concentration camp in Austria a few years back, it would have been the perfect time to accentuate what we had learned with this movie, but when we got back, life picked up at a hurried pace and we never got around to watching the Oscar winner.

Fritz the Cat

As a lover of adult animated comedy, I should really go back and watch one of the trailblazers in the genre. Fritz the Cat follows the adventures of Fritz, who’s no ordinary kitty. The movie is full of adult situations including drugs, sex and violence. It was the first animated movie to receive an X-rating. A sequel also followed, titled The Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat, which has the feline die at the end of each chapter.

The 10 Commandments

Perhaps I would care and understand more about religion if I watched this film… perhaps I still wouldn’t give a damn. Scratch that, I still won’t give a damn. Hell, I don’t even know what each of the 10 Commandments are. Something about adultery and stealing and neighbours… I don’t know. The movie still seems like a worthwhile watch, though, thanks to Charleston Heston’s iconic portrayal of Moses and a host of other classic actors.

Taxi Driver

The flick that launched the careers of Robert De Niro, Jodie Foster and director Martin Scorcese (and also indirectly resulted in an assassination attempt on US president Ronald Reagan). De Niro’s portrayal of Travis Bickle, a former U.S. marine who suffers a breakdown of sorts, has been cited as one of the greatest performances of all time, leading to John Hinckley, Jr. copying the character’s image and trying to kill the commander-in-chief, with the hopes of impressing Foster.

The Godfather, Part II

While I’ve seen the first Godfather, I have yet to watch the follow-up, which many regard to be the greatest sequel of all time. What will Michael Corleone do next, now that he’s running the show, following the passing of his father? With so many years passing between my viewing of the original film, I feel I’d have to go back and start from square one, but it was a good movie, so I don’t really mind.

Drink #197: Godfather

1.5 oz Scotch (I used Glenfiddich Millenium Vintage)
0.75 oz Amaretto
Garnish with Orange Twist

Well, that’s the list. Which one do you think I’ll get around to watching first? Have I missed anything that should be viewed ahead of all these classics?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I really liked this night cap and it gave me a perfect chance to bust out our crystal short glasses for the first time with this project. The Amaretto takes the edge off of the Scotch, making for an easy to drink and delicious cocktail. I added an Orange Twist as the garnish because of Marlon Brando’s death scene in the first Godfather.

July 15 – Lay Back and Relax

Posted on July 15, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Panic Attack

We’ve all been there… these incidents come up in our lives and although they are relatively routine, our anxiety level rises, we begin to perspire, and all the crazy worst-case scenarios we can ponder rush through our mind. Then, when it’s all over we let out a light chuckle and wonder why we got so worried in the first place…

Gas Light Comes On

You’ve been watching your gas meter for most of the drive, noticing it incrementally drop as you make your trek. You get your first moment of panic as it drops under the 1/8th notch and continues to fall sharply. Then, the little orange light flashes on and you’re a mess, thinking your car will break down right then and there. Until you find a gas station, especially if you’re in unfamiliar territory, you’re a nervous wreck. When you find a station you race into it, nearly hitting a pedestrian or two (don’t worry, they don’t matter) and you fill your car up like breathing oxygen into a breathless human. All’s well that ends well!

Meeting a Celebrity

Not that I’ve met many in my life, but the few I have (in a non-working, journalistic capacity) have caused me to get super shy and tongue-tied. Broski Sip and I once went to a nearby Walmart to meet wrestler Bret Hart and have him sign his autobiography, which was to be my Christmas gift that year from Broski. As we approached his table, all I could utter was a quick thank you, before we shuffled off. A few months later, I conducted a 15-minute interview over the phone with the grappling legend, without a single star-struck moment.

Splitting the Bill/Calculating Tips

You’re out with friends for dinner or drinks and the bill comes. How should it be split? Who ordered what? How’s everyone paying? I think it’s just all the questions that come up after a bill has been presented that can raise anxiety. I don’t know why tipping gets me a little nervous. I’m a good tipper and many places now give you suggested percentages to tip. If you’re paying electronically, you can let science do all the calculations. We all just need to relax a little.

Getting ID’d

I’ve been legal age in Canada for more than a decade and even in the U.S., for quite some time. I don’t get as apprehensive about it anymore, but when I was in my mid-20’s I got worried every time I was ID’d. Would they accuse me of having fake identification? Not likely. I still get worried sometimes across the border, because they don’t necessarily know what our IDs look like and we have had some incidents where they insist on a passport over our normally adequate driver’s licenses.

Parallel Parking

I absolutely hate parallel parking to the point where I refuse to do it. This can be an issue sometimes, given I live in a downtown core and am often forced to run errands for Mrs. Sip (hmmm, maybe my problem is Mrs. Sip!?) I’m actually a decent parallel parker if I have to do it, but I’ve rarely been forced into the situation, so why risk it when you can usually find a better and more accessible spot with a little patience?

Border Crossing

This one is very similar to getting ID’d. I think it’s just because you don’t know what to expect from a border guard. Will they be friendly, or a total jerk? What questions will they ask you? Even if you haven’t done anything wrong in your entire life, you feel like a border patrol agent will somehow sniff out your one minor transgression. Then, all they ask you is where you’re going and wave you through without incident!

Getting a Haircut

Every time I get a haircut, there’s always a few moments at the start of the job, when you look in the mirror and look so totally ridiculous that thoughts start running through your head about how your luck has finally run out and this will be an awful haircut. I always think, if all else fails I could shave my head (a little ace in the hole for the male sex). Of course, the haircut always turns out well in the end, but for those few moments when you can’t see that the end result will be fine, you’re sweating bullets.

Drink #196: Lay Back and Relax

1 oz Kahlua
1 oz Amaretto
0.5 oz Chambord
Splash of Grand Marnier
Top with Milk
Garnish with Strawberry and Palm Tree Stir Stick

I know I’m not the only one that has a small panic during these moments. Join me in exercising your demons and perhaps you won’t feel so bad about these tasks in the future. Have I missed anything that really makes you anxious? Like Frasier Crane, I’m listening!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I figured this drink would be good and I wasn’t disappointed. It might be a little sweet for some, but that can be solved by dropping the increments of some of the spirits and upping the milk content. A perfect cocktail for dessert.

July 14 – Guillotine

Posted on July 14, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Devices of Death

Implements of execution and their history are cruel but fascinating from many perspectives. Whether you look at the technology that has gone into the design or the history behind it, there is much to learn. Here are some of the contraptions that caught my attention after making today’s drink:

Guillotine

People are always looking to make things more efficient and the French nailed it when they took the age old act of beheading someone and mechanized it. Out were the days of needing multiple hacks of an often worn blade to sever a victim’s head, and in were the new days of “humanitarian” beheading. The guillotine became a popular image of the French Revolution, particularly the “Reign of Terror” period, which caused much upheaval in the country and saw the executions of King Louie XVI and Queen Marie Antoinette, among others. The best nickname for the Guillotine had to be ‘The National Razor’. The Sanson family of France was a six-generation dynasty (is that the right word for this!?) of executioners and Charles-Henri Sanson was largely responsible for making the guillotine the country’s next great killing machine.

Electric Chair

With the modernization of many death machines, designers were bound to harness the power of electricity for executions. As Thomas Edison worked to launch his direct current (DC) electricity, he publicly electrocuted an elephant and other animals using George Westinghouse’s competing alternating current (AC). The campaign to discourage the use of AC worked in at least one way: it was used for electric chairs beginning in 1890. The chair lost favour with many quickly (including Westinghouse) due to its high degree of cruelty and its failure to execute a criminal quickly. A photo of Ruth Snyder’s execution in 1928 was snapped by photojournalist Tom Howard, who was wearing a camera strapped to his ankle. It has become one of the most famous newspaper photos of all-time. While ‘the chair’ is rarely used today, it is still an option for many death row inmates, depending on the state they are incarcerated in.

Hangman’s Noose

The legendary device depicted in so many western movies and used around the world to end the lives of the guilty and sometimes innocent. Victims were more likely to have their necks snapped, rather than asphyxiation through being strangled by the rope. After a series of failed hangings (one dude survived three separate trips to the gallows, earning the nickname ‘The Man They Couldn’t Hang’) in the late 1800’s, a committee was formed to solve the issue and developed the ‘Official Table of Drops’ which examined just how much rope was needed, depending on weight, to terminate a criminal by breaking their neck in the process. Ah, science at its best. If the hangman’s noose had never been invented, we may never have discovered auto-erotic asphyxiation, so I guess you have to thank the device for that!

Euthanasia Coaster

When I used to play Rollercoaster Tycoon, sometimes for fun you’d build a ride that would launch passengers flying through the air and into a deadly crash landing. While, that’s not exactly what would happen with the Euthanasia Coaster (still a hypothetical invention), the ride has been designed to kill people who wish to end their lives. Using G-force to cause an insufficient supply of oxygen to the brain, most people would be brain dead after two of the seven vertical loops. Most interesting about the ride’s design is that they’ll have a body unloading zone… how many people do they expect to go through this? Although, admittedly, it would be my preferred way to go.

Drink #195: Guillotine

1 oz Butterscotch Schnapps
1 oz Irish Crème
1 oz Fireball Whiskey
Garnish with Strawberry (preferably headless)
Add some Strawberry Syrup for blood effect!

I picked this drink partly because it fits with celebrating Bastille Day (France’s National Holiday), but also because I find these execution devices to be quite intriguing… providing I never end up in or on one.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
Poor little Strawberry all decapitated and all… this was a Sip Advisor art project, and I think it went reasonably well. I wish I had put half the effort I did into this posed photo into my schooling days… maybe I`d be more than a blog jockey then. The drink itself was quite enjoyable with notes of Cinnamon and an underlying Butterscotch flavour.

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