March 22 – Southern Frost

Posted on March 22, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Meteoro-losers

Straight up: I hate weathermen, weather reports, weather gossip, weather channels, weather balloons, weather vanes (also hilariously known as weather cocks), and generally anything else having to do with weather reporting or prediction.

Mrs. Sip, on the other hand, is always updating me on what the weather will be like where we live and most frustratingly, what it will be like during our next vacation destination a month before we’re set to be there (I think this trait is hereditary, so hopefully it’s not passed down to our children… *shudder* children). Weather guys and gals can’t even get their forecasts right the day of, so how the hell can they accurately predict what the weather will be like a month ahead of time?

In any other industry, if you were wrong more than half the time, you would be fired and never work in that field again. For some reason, meteorologists get a pass and I’m not cool with that. But what’s more bizarre is that WE KEEP LISTENING TO THEM! (And I obviously do not include myself in that “we” because I’m clearly in the small percentage of the population who has leveled up and evolved beyond weather reporting).

I say the only way to check the weather is to look out your own window and examine what the sky is doing at that present time. If you live in a stable environment, then this should be all you need to do for weeks at a time. I live in a volatile, urban, rainforest (kind of wish I lived in the Rainforest Cafe), where you can have multiple weather patterns in a single day. Still, the check-out-your-window process works fine for me.

I think a fitting punishment for all weathermen would be for them to be sucked into their own green screens and be mauled by the various monsters that have come to life thanks to CGI special effects. The hotties that are put into the role of weatherwomen, regardless of education and training, can be spared, provided they perform their duties in the buff, going forward. Now there are some chances of precipitation I can get behind!

I can’t believe there’s a whole channel dedicated to weather. What do I care if it’s snowing in Eastern Canada or if there’s a heat wave in Dubai? The Weather Channel should be turned into another sports channel, giving airtime to games like Dodge Ball, Ultimate Frisbee, and Hackeysacking. It could be called ESPN Stoner and it would be a haven for advertisers like Doritos, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut and Red Bull (I may have said too much now. I call dibs on the sports channel idea).

Back to weather reports, I think we can all agree that it only provides entertainment to seniors and for that reason alone, I suppose we can allow it to continually exist. I have great respect for our elders and I want them to enjoy a happy retirement and twilight years… they’ve earned it. *Sniff* Now I’m getting all emotional. Let’s get on with today’s drink.

Drink #81: Southern Frost

1.5 oz Southern Comfort
Top with half Cranberry Juice and half Ginger Ale
Garnish with an Orange Slice and a Raspberry

Quite frankly, the only weather phenomena I want to hear about is one that I can drink. At least it will help me get through the daily weather report. God speed!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
While the drink tasted great, I was especially happy with the garnish job I put together. I’ve found Southern Comfort to be a really solid liquor contribution and the combo of Cranberry Juice and Ginger Ale works really well together.

February 20 – Golden Shower

Posted on February 20, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Creative Control

When I first mentioned this drink to ‘The Network’ they wanted me to change the name of it. Well, friends, I absolutely despise censorship. I flat-out refused and then a full scale war between good and evil was initiated. We lost a lot of great men out there on the battlefield, but in the end, we came out triumphant. My blog, my say.

When we returned home from the war, we were lost souls. It was a hard adjustment to make back to civilian life and I felt we weren’t being appreciated for our efforts. Let me give you a little glimpse into my psyche… let’s call it the mind of a maniac.

Censorship is bad mmmkay. There’s no other way to put it. It takes away our freedom of speech and curbs creativity. Worse yet, it makes movies shown on TV completely unwatchable with all the bleeped out language and such. I mean, do we want this place to turn into communist China? (Which, despite its massive population, I note, is one of the few countries I have not received a single hit for this website).

Here are some mind-boggling examples of censorship that actually happened:

When Lucille Ball became pregnant, they incorporated this into her show I Love Lucy, but no characters were allowed to say the word “pregnant,” only “expecting.”
Married couples on TV were not allowed to be shown sharing a bed, instead sleeping in separate twin beds.
Jeannie on I Dream of Jeannie was not allowed to show her belly button and fabric was specifically added to her wardrobe to cut out her midriff.
On Happy Days, Fonzie was only to wear his patented leather jacket in scenes where he was riding his motorcycle (as safety equipment, of course), because otherwise it would make him look like a hoodlum, censors decreed. Therefore, Fonzie always appeared on or near his motorcycle, often leaning on or polishing it.

Ever since my Mortal Kombat game on Super Nintendo lacked blood, while my friend’s on Sega included all the wonderful gore a young child could want, I’ve opposed censors and their inherent need to ruin things for audiences. I vowed, from that moment forward to wage a campaign of intolerance against the intolerants.

A battle that – with the help of the vast and lawless internet and in association with channels like Comedy Central and HBO – I’m happy to say we’re fucking winning! (Yay for titties and foul language!)

It is every person’s right to see full-frontal nudity and scenes of explicit violence, while hearing language that would make a sailor blush. If you don’t like it, don’t watch it, listen to it or buy it… but don’t you dare tell me I can’t enjoy it.

“Oh, what about the children!? Who will protect them?” someone cries in despair. Well folks, it’s called parenting. If you have young ones at home, then every once in a while drag yourself away from watching fine upstanding and moralistic shows such as The Bachelor, Real Housewives, or UFC (of if you are a reader, 50 Shades of Whatever or that other book where kids kill each other) and impart on them some values… if you can remember what those are. Just saying.

And it is my right to make and appreciate a drink called the Golden Shower.

Drink #51: Golden Shower

0.5 oz Tequila
0.5 oz Southern Comfort
0.5 oz Galliano
Splash of Apple Juice
Top with Lemonade
Garnish with a lemon wedge

Nothing tops waking up and enjoying the splendor of a nice Golden Shower… the drink, I mean. Pervert!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
While the drink’s name might throw some people off, it was a wonderful concoction. The best part about mixology is trying different ingredients together that you normally never would. Just look at the listing of alcohols and mixers above, many of which you normally wouldn’t combine. They all work well together here.

February 3 – Bill Murray

Posted on February 3, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

On the Rocks

As a bit of a carryover from yesterday’s post, in the movie Groundhog Day, Phil Connors (Bill Murray) orders “sweet vermouth on the rocks, with a twist,” his producer Rita’s (Andie MacDowell) favourite drink, in a bid to get closer to her. He learns this on the first day of his Groundhog Day loop and tries to exploit it on subsequent repeated days. Apparently this is the actual favourite drink of director Harold Ramis’ wife. So, given that I’m doing this challenge and I’m always open to new recipes, I thought I’d give it a shot. First though, here are some other drinks that are enjoyed on the rocks:

Scotch

I’ve only got into Scotch over the last few years, but I really enjoy it. In that time, I’ve been lucky to sample some really good stuff (thanks to some very generous friends and family) and most recently I met the pinnacle of drinking when I was able to have a glass of Ron Swanson’s (Parks and Recreation) favourite libation Lagavulin 16 Year Old. Imagine me, a mild-mannered drink jockey getting to enjoy this fine substance… let the good times roll! (See January 8 – Scotch on the Rocks for further reading)

Disaronno (Amaretto)

This is one of my favourite end-of-night, unwinding drinks. A couple cubes and a splash of Disaronno is all I need before bedtime. Call it nappy time juice! It used to be that cookies and milk were all I needed but then I entered my 30’s! Okay, I’m not there yet, but cookies and milk have been pushed aside for liqueurs and whatever is lying around the house that resembles food. It doesn’t really matter, I’ll eat anything.

Southern Comfort

I first tried Southern Comfort on the rocks on my honeymoon cruise and enjoyed it enough to buy a bottle. I’m curious to try some of the other Southern Comfort flavours out there, such as Fiery Pepper, Bold Black Cherry, plus one mama Sip Advisor told me about (this drinking is a family thing, after all), Lime. So, I have the perfect evening planned: southern BBQ, washed down by SoCo!

Courvoisier (Cognac)

Now, I’ve only had this once before, but I enjoyed it thoroughly. Perhaps it holds a place in my heart because it helped me fall asleep on a flight, which I’m rarely able to do. I also love how it was regularly featured in the Ladies Man skits on Saturday Night Live. Great choice, Leon!

Bailey’s Irish Crème

This last one is geared a little more towards the ladies, I suppose. I personally like drinks that have a little bit more of an edge, but I know there are a lot of folks out there that love their Irish Crèmes and anything that’s easier to down. It’s a smooth ride for these alcohols and there’s also an array of intriguing flavours (mint chocolate, crème caramel, hazelnut, biscotti) coming out from the Bailey’s people and other similar companies.

Drink #34: Bill Murray

2 oz Sweet Vermouth (I used Martini brand)
Splash of Lemon Juice
Garnish with lemon twist

In honour of the legendary Bill Murray, I’ve gone ahead and named this concoction after him. I mean, Andie MacDowell is okay, but Bill Murray is Dr. Peter Venkman… groundskeeper Carl Spackler… hell, he’s even Garfield! This was the first time I ever had sweet vermouth on the rocks, as I usually only use it when making Manhattans. This is the type of experimenting I enjoy best and I thought the drink was great, especially with the addition of lemon.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Shockingly, no one has ever given this drink a name before, which is a shame because I believe that we should salute Bill Murray whenever the opportunity arises. I thought Sweet Vermouth on the rocks was actually a tasty drink and something you might have when unwinding after dinner, as a dessert aperitif.

Sip Advisor

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