May 14 – Time for a Change?

Posted on May 14, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Politically Declined

To sum up quickly, I hate elections, politicians and basically everything having to do with the political process.

I feel that government doesn’t do very much, what it does accomplish takes way too long to get done, and when it finally gets done, then we go and repeal it anyway. I would never trust a politician further than I could throw them… unless it was hilariously off a cliff Wile E. Coyote style!

Elections are the worst time of the year. Our news is inundated with one group of politicians going on about stupid things other politicians have done such as riding transit without a ticket or running a red light while taking their son to an early morning hockey practice, all presumably in an attempt to sway voters who won’t bother to actually look up the various parties’ platforms. With a multitude of rainbow signs going up everywhere you look and TV commercials interrupting my programming, I just want to take a three-month nap and avoid the whole scenario. And don’t even get me started on the annoying phone calls and pamphlets.

Perhaps if elections were solved with cage fights, I might be a little more interested. Think about it, you could have a stacked card of death matches and charge people to come and see who “wins” the battle. And all the proceeds would go to fund the “elected” government’s initiatives and programs.

If you look through the history of the world, every important issue has been settled at WrestleMania, so why not continue down this path in the political forum?

Sadly, this is not to be, but it’s something for future generations to keep in mind. Maybe when the polar ice caps eventually melt and we go into a state of martial law, we can revisit my proposal.

I took a political science course once and I couldn’t stand it. Every class, when the teacher looked like he was wrapping things up and was going to let us free a little earlier, there would always be one jackass who would keep asking questions – queries of a political nature, but having nothing to do with our current lesson – until before you knew it, we had actually run over the class time and would now be fighting each other to exit, Battle Royal style, in order to get to the parking lot.

All that said, today I have to go stand in line to execute my “right” as a free democratic being who enjoys the benefits of not living in a dictatorship, I guess.

Although, this guy looks like he knows how to party!

Mrs. Sip insists that I vote, even threatening to withhold potato chips and cookies from me. What she doesn’t know is that as soon as I enter the private voting booth, I promptly check off the candidate she dislikes the most, file my ballot, and call it a day!

Drink #134: Time for a Change?

Rim glass with Sugar
1.5 oz Black Cherry Bourbon
0.5 oz Cointreau
Splash of Lemon Juice
Splash of Wildberry Juice
Dash of Orange Bitters

Is it really time for a change? I say, who cares. It’s usually not too long before we hate the dude or dudette we all elected. People say if you don’t vote, you have no right to complain about what happens. And really, that’s the only reason the Sip Advisor goes to the polls every year!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This is quite the cocktail to undertake. Sadly, I had to leave the lavender portion of the recipe out, but it wasn’t missed too much. I really enjoy any drink that contains Black Cherry Bourbon and this was no exception. I found it really hard to pick an election-themed cocktail, as most were American-related and well, that’s not where I live. I still love the drink name Obama Slammer, though.

April 22 – Moon River

Posted on April 22, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Making the World a Better Place

Today is Earth Day, so I thought we could brainstorm some ways to make this world a better place. You can follow my awesome example of mass recycling. The more you drink, the more you’re able to recycle and the wheel (or that silly little triangle logo they use: reduce, reuse, recycle) goes round and round. Remember, Earth: It’s the only one we got!

I am a staunch supporter of the cities that have assembled their homeless force (I would have called them workforce, but that seems a little oxymoronic) to wheel their carts around, plucking stray bottles and cans from garbage receptacles. This must continue, but we should groom them and give them rad uniforms and shopping buggies, so that people respect them and don’t just fear the deranged man chasing them down for their freshly purchased pop.

Countries should continue to phase out their monetary denominations, thus saving on raw materials like copper, alloy, nickel and paper for bills. Yes, plastic resource use would go up with the increase of debit and credit cards, but there’s tons of that stuff around, so who cares.

Acid rain should be encouraged as a device to cleanse the world of harmful deposits. Cleanliness is godliness and god is empty, just like me and The Smashing Pumpkins.

Not to mention, if Indiana Jones has taught us anything, it works pretty well on Nazis too!

Perhaps there is some way to harness the power of farts and turn them into energy. I remember hearing once that cow dung was being looked into for this, as on its own it is quite harmful to the atmosphere. I personally know a few blokes that would make a killing if this technology was ever developed and people could earn a living from their gas.

One thing that must change is that it’s more expensive to buy many recycled products compared to their brand-spanking-new counterparts. If I can get something new, for half the price as the recycled option, I think we all know which one the Sip Advisor is going to choose. Heck, it leaves me with more money for liquor.

Here’s a toast in honour of Earth, a gal who takes so much crap from us humans and only sends floods, earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, and tornados our way as an even up. You’re a sweet lady and we love you!

Drink #112: Moon River

1 oz Gin
1 oz Apricot Brandy
1 oz Cointreau (or other Triple Sec)
0.5 oz Galliano
Splash of Lemon Juice
Garnish with a Maraschino Cherry and Orange Wedge

Sip Advisor’s Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This drink smells just like a creamsicle… and guess what? It tastes a lot like one too! The Apricot Brandy and Cointreau make it a sweeter drink, but it’s nicely balanced by the gin. Drinkers beware, with the amount of alcohol in it this cocktail goes down a bit too easy. Some recipes may differ, but I fully trust the accuracy of Wikipedia.

March 13 – Sazerac

Posted on March 13, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Macaroni Workshop

Today, we unveil the first ever Sip Advisor art gala… the results of an absinthe-induced buzz. I worked long and hard on this piece and I hope the results are worth my efforts!

Drum roll, please…

I tried to live up to the standards of the Macaroni Masters. I hope I have not let them down.

My inspiration for this piece included Tyrannosaurus Rex (note the short arms on Mr. Stick – a distant relative of Mr. Sip) and Johnny Depp (notice the resemblance!?).

Mrs. Sip said that my stickman was very well done and gave me a gold star, which I promptly put into my sticker book. If I earn five gold stars, apparently she’ll take me to Chuck E. Cheese’s, or at least that’s the rumour on the playground!

Oh and this is Mrs. Sip’s absinthe-induced art gala entry, which I guess warrants an honourable mention… clearly mine’s better!

Now let’s enjoy a drink that helped me get through this exhausting process.

Drink #72: Sazerac

1 oz Absinthe
1 oz Whiskey (I used Crown Royal)
Splash of Lemon Juice
Dash of Simple Syrup
Garnish with a Blackberry

What do you think? Should I take my piece on a worldwide tour? As crazy as it sounds, I feel there might actually be an audience for my “special” talents.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
My favourite cocktail of Absinthe Week. I think I have to give a nod to Crown Royal Whiskey as the ingredient that made this drink so enjoyable. The Lemon Juice and Simple Syrup also played important roles in making the Absinthe more agreeable.

March 8 – Pepper Delicious

Posted on March 8, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

A Decent Proposal

Today, we play with fire, aka red pepper. “Red pepper? In a drink?” you say… you question whether the ol’ Sip Advisor has finally lost all his mental faculties. Have the weeks of drinking and running this blog already taken a toll on this brainially fragile person? Eff that, I’m more awesome than ever! This blog is about pushing the boundaries of drinkdom and so I must share with you the joys of cocktails made with ingredients you normally wouldn’t see in a shaker. Plus, I’ll throw in a little tale about how the red pepper recipe first entered my consciousness:

Mrs. Sip and I were in Las Vegas to celebrate our 10-year dating anniversary – a decade of destruction, if you will. My liver sure thinks so. It was an amazing trip, where everything just seemed to go right for us. Most of our vacations work out this way, so we weren’t really surprised.

We were sitting at the gorgeous Hyde Lounge inside the Bellagio Hotel. Unfortunately, it was a violently windy day and the fountains were shut off, depriving visitor’s to the city of its dancing water splendor. Well, when life gives you lemonade, you push it aside and ask for a martini.

So, there we sat, at the bar with cocktails in hand, reminiscing about another amazing weekend together. The place was pretty empty, so we had a good chance to talk to the bartenders and a nice couple beside us. When they had to run off to a show, they left us with the platter they ordered which included caviar, smoked salmon, and pate. It was one of those trips where everything was clicking!

We paid our tab and were finishing the final sips of our beverages, when we were interrupted by the booming voice of a man behind us.

“Can I get you guys some drinks?” the large African-American stranger asked.

I panicked a little, foreseeing this turning into one of those ‘Indecent Proposal’ type things. He liquors us up then offers me a substantial amount of money for one night with my fiancée. And I could really use that money!

Sure ya did, honey…

Let’s make one thing clear: Mrs. Sip is hot. She’s what the Spanish would call muy caliente! I’m just lucky we met at the age of 18 and I locked that sweet honeybutt down pronto (well, eight years later, but who’s counting).

So back to our drink offer. We were hesitant. After all, we had only come for one last drink before we were to head to the airport. We told our new “friend” that and he argued that we weren’t “driving” the plane (sound logic), so we could stay for one more round.

Then it popped into my head that maybe this guy would want to take ME off Mrs. Sip’s hands. I’m sure she wouldn’t hesitate to take the deal, and get a few hours off to read her books in quiet serenity without this Sip Advisor constantly prodding her to edit his blog or get naked. I wonder what rate I would go for? A bag of jellybeans and a sticker book… she’d probably still sign off on the agreement.

Still mulling over the drink offer, the stranger made our decision for us, walking over to the bartenders and talking to them. He turned to us and bluntly asked, “Do you like sweet or savoury?” Before I could answer, Mrs. Sip piped in “savoury”, and he put in an order. We didn’t know what would come next… roofie-coladas?

When the bartender was done, I was served what seemed to be a simple vodka soda, while Mrs. Sip was given a drink garnished with a red pepper ring, that we had watched be double-strained and all that jazz. Okay, so clearly this man wasn’t after my heart. We took our first sip, thanked the stranger and told him we liked the cocktails. He paid the bar and left without saying another word. I personally felt stood up!

When he left, we asked the bartender if she knew who he was. Her reply: “He’s the Stoli Vodka rep… he does this all the time.”

Well, cross another item off the bucket list… a complete stranger bought me a drink. I don’t need to say that he was just advertising for his brand… no, he just wanted to get on board with the awesomeness. And after finding out he was a vodka rep, I would have certainly gone anywhere with him!

Drink #67: Pepper Delicious

2 oz Gin (I used Bombay Sapphire)
1 oz Lime Juice
Dash of Simple Syrup
8 Mint Leaves
½ Sliced Red Pepper
Garnish with red pepper ring and mint leaf

Muddle the lime juice, simple syrup, mint leaves and red pepper all together, then add ice and the gin to your mixer. Shake vigorously (as if there was any other setting to be at) and strain into a martini glass. Thanks to the muddled red pepper, this drink has a sweet and subtle, but enjoyable bite to it, which the mint cools down. All in all, a pretty awesome cocktail!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
Our attempt to recreate the drink we were served in Las Vegas may not have been a complete match, but I think it was a good effort and tasted very unique. I’d like to find more recipes that feature Red Pepper.

February 14 – Raspberry Chocolate Love

Posted on February 14, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Love Songs

It’s Valentine’s Day and you know what that means… there’s a 50% chance you’re going to get lucky… best odds of the year! Maybe you’ll want to have some tunes playing to set the mood. Here are my suggestions:

Pony – Ginuwine

This song is all about horseback riding. Wait, that’s not right… it’s all about humping. Seriously, every piece of furniture in your house should be rubbed up on prior to sex, during sex and after sex. Your possessions will thank you later. I also like how the artist was able to squeeze both ‘gin’ and ‘wine’ into his name.

I Hate Everything About You – Three Days Grace

This is Mr. and Mrs. Sip Advisor’s karaoke duet of choice. We’ve even been stopped by other patrons before, commending us for our performance. It’s because these lyrics really speak to us… from the heart, man.

F*ck You Tonight – Notorious B.I.G. (feat. R. Kelly)

Hmmm, featuring R. Kelly… didn’t know watersports was on Biggie’s menu. I bet if I played this to Mrs. Sip, things would not go very well for everybody’s favourite liquor blogger. Besides, she often treats me to dinner and drinks. Maybe she should play this for me… not that I ever take any convincing!

Jizz in My Pants – The Lonely Island

I think the meaning of this song is lost on most women. The guys are just saying they find the women so attractive that they can’t control themselves. How’s that for complimentary and moving feminism forward in leaps and bounds? Well played, boys… well played!

All My Love – Led Zeppelin

If my opinion counts for anything (and trust me, it does not) every musical list is lacking unless it contains some Zeppelin content. How many times do you think a groupie was told this song was specifically for them? Ha, classic!

Drink #45: Raspberry Chocolate Love

Put a layer of Chocolate Syrup at the bottom of your glass
1.5 oz Chocolate Whipped Vodka (I used Pinnacle)
1 oz Chambord
Dash of Lemon Juice
Dash of Simple Syrup
Garnish with a chocolate-filled raspberry

Alright, folks, it’s time to make whoopee (not Goldberg)! Have fun, stay safe, and remember who helped you get your groove on!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
It might be hard to tell in photos, but that’s a Chocolate-filled Raspberry garnishing the drink, which I thought to be a really neat idea. There’s also a layer of the syrup at the bottom of the glass. The Chambord, Lemon Juice and Chocolate Vodka are interesting flavours to be combining.

January 14 – Spiced Sour

Posted on January 14, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Evolution

One of my favourite elements of mixology is trying new liquors and mixers and seeing how different things come together in look and taste. I love how innovative some companies are becoming, as they release different flavours and adaptations of their normal products.

There are a ton of flavoured vodkas and rums out there. Vodka companies like Van Gogh and Pinnacle seem to be bringing out new flavours on a regular basis, while Stoli and Smirnoff can be counted on for the more traditional tastes like various berry and citrus brands. Bacardi and Captain Morgan have this variety covered in the rum world. Whiskey and tequila companies seem to be getting on board with this concept as well and over the last few years, we’ve seen a number of innovative products hit the market.

Some of the more interesting flavours I’ve seen out there, that I’d like to try, include:

Three Olives Loopy (Froot Loops-flavoured vodka) – It’s very important to start your day off on the right note with a balanced breakfast. I bet Toucan Sam never smelled this one coming!

Van Gogh Peanut Butter & Jelly Vodka – Why not drink my favourite sandwich (and I make a mean PB&J).

Bakon Vodka – I’m a huge bacon fan and can’t wait to sample this sometime, although it’s a bit pricey. If they ever create a pulled pork vodka, I’ll be first in line!

360 Glazed Donut Vodka – With the Froot Loops, PB&J, bacon and now donut flavours, you have breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert, respectively, all covered.

Malibu Red (coconut rum mixed with tequila) – I’m really curious about this liquor. The coconut and tequila blend might be really nice and a unique twist for some new cocktails.

Malibu Fresh (coconut rum mixed with mint) – Like Malibu Red, I have to give this a try before judging, but at first glance, I just can’t see coconut and mint coming together well… or maybe I can.

Crown Royal Maple – I fully intend to pour this on waffles and pancakes. I love Crown Royal and trust that they know what they’re doing.

With all that said, I recently picked up a bottle of Wiser’s Spiced Whiskey. I was excited to try this because I love spiced rum (particularly Sailor Jerry’s) and I love whiskey. Put the two together and you should be on the right track. The Wiser’s did not disappoint and came with a little card advertising a few recipes to try with the new release. One of those was the Spiced Sour, an adaptation of the Whiskey Sour, one of my all-time faves.

Drink #14: Spiced Sour

2 oz Wiser’s Spiced Whiskey
1.5 oz lemon juice
1 oz simple syrup
Dash of egg whites
Garnish with lemon wedge and Maraschino cherry

I have to admit that I didn’t even realize until this post was almost complete that I forgot the egg whites. Usually you shake all the ingredients together and strain. The egg whites leave a foamy layer at the top of the drink. All the recipes I was looking at skip this step of the process, but I’ve made enough whiskey sours in my time that I should know better. I apologize to all the little Sip-A-Maniacs out there. I am, of course, open to better names for fans of this blog…

Do you have other examples of liquor-flavour evolution that you’d like to pass on to me? That would be greatly appreciated. My thanks, in advance!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I’m such a maroon. After making the drink, taking the required photos and downing that bad boy, I realized that I had neglected to include the frothy egg whites in the concoction. Well, dock the Sip Advisor a couple points on your score card. The drink is very heavy in lemon flavour, which sometimes I find to be too much. Otherwise, it’s a recommendable cocktail.

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