February 14 – Raspberry Chocolate Love

Love Songs

It’s Valentine’s Day and you know what that means… there’s a 50% chance you’re going to get lucky… best odds of the year! Maybe you’ll want to have some tunes playing to set the mood. Here are my suggestions:

Pony – Ginuwine

This song is all about horseback riding. Wait, that’s not right… it’s all about humping. Seriously, every piece of furniture in your house should be rubbed up on prior to sex, during sex and after sex. Your possessions will thank you later. I also like how the artist was able to squeeze both ‘gin’ and ‘wine’ into his name.

I Hate Everything About You – Three Days Grace

This is Mr. and Mrs. Sip Advisor’s karaoke duet of choice. We’ve even been stopped by other patrons before, commending us for our performance. It’s because these lyrics really speak to us… from the heart, man.

F*ck You Tonight – Notorious B.I.G. (feat. R. Kelly)

Hmmm, featuring R. Kelly… didn’t know watersports was on Biggie’s menu. I bet if I played this to Mrs. Sip, things would not go very well for everybody’s favourite liquor blogger. Besides, she often treats me to dinner and drinks. Maybe she should play this for me… not that I ever take any convincing!

Jizz in My Pants – The Lonely Island

I think the meaning of this song is lost on most women. The guys are just saying they find the women so attractive that they can’t control themselves. How’s that for complimentary and moving feminism forward in leaps and bounds? Well played, boys… well played!

All My Love – Led Zeppelin

If my opinion counts for anything (and trust me, it does not) every musical list is lacking unless it contains some Zeppelin content. How many times do you think a groupie was told this song was specifically for them? Ha, classic!

Drink #45: Raspberry Chocolate Love

Raspberry Chocolate Love Cocktail

  • Put a layer of Chocolate Syrup at the bottom of your glass
  • 1.5 oz Chocolate Whipped Vodka (I used Pinnacle)
  • 1 oz Chambord
  • Dash of Lemon Juice
  • Dash of Simple Syrup
  • Garnish with a chocolate-filled raspberry

Alright, folks, it’s time to make whoopee (not Goldberg)! Have fun, stay safe, and remember who helped you get your groove on!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
It might be hard to tell in photos, but that’s a Chocolate-filled Raspberry garnishing the drink, which I thought to be a really neat idea. There’s also a layer of the syrup at the bottom of the glass. The Chambord, Lemon Juice and Chocolate Vodka are interesting flavours to be combining.

January 29 – West Coast Paralyzer

The Best Coast

West Coast

West coast born, west coast bred… and when the time comes, west coast dead.

I love being from the west coast. We’re more laid back, have milder weather (in both summer and winter), and in my very unbiased opinion, are just generally more awesome. Here are some other things we do better than our eastern contemporaries:

The alcohol is better on our side of the continent, with awesome microbreweries (Granville Island, 21st Amendment) all along the coast and some undeniably fantastic wine regions (Napa Valley, Okanagan, Hood River).

The east may kick our ass when it comes to storms, but we definitely thump them in the natural disaster category with our epic earthquakes and just wait for the inevitable big one we’re always being warned about. The tsunami alone will blow your freakin’ mind (thank god that us Vancouverites will have Vancouver Island acting as a natural buffer during that one!).

west-coast-fault-lines

We also have grown-up Disneyland (aka Las Vegas) near enough to the West Coast (two-hour flight from Vancouver), which Trumps Atlantic City, beyond a shadow of a doubt. See what I did there… Donald Trump has largely developed Atlantic City… another thing west-coasters are better at: being clever… and not associating with Donald Trump.

Speaking of Disneyland, we have the better Disney theme park… Disneyland is much more manageable than Disneyworld and has less motorized scooters and 6-10 year olds in double-wide strollers (seriously, do NOT get me started on all the elementary school children in strollers I saw at Disneyworld, it’s like America officially said “Fuck it, we give up!”).

Disneyworld Scooters

We’re at the forefront of legalizing marijuana, with Washington State having already passed referendums to make it legal and places like B.C. having largely decriminalized the drug. It’s not my drug of choice (it’s pretty easy to guess what is), but I’m all for my little sippers having easier access to a little bit of Mary Jane.

People go west to become stars (porn or otherwise)… they go east to die.

Retired Squirrel

I have it on good authority, as my sources tell me, that we’re better at sex here on the left side of the map. I have statistical data on this fact… I’m just having trouble finding it at the moment.

We’re just made tougher on the west coast: Not that I’m condoning violence of any type, but it did take two attempts for 2Pac to be killed and only one for Notorious B.I.G. Just saying… (I hope I don’t resurrect the west vs. east rap wars with this post, as I do hold that much power).

And finally, my greatest pieces of evidence: Jersey Shore, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo and Real Housewives of New Jersey, among other television shows that I would rather stick a fork in my eye than watch, all come from the east. ‘Nuff said! Case closed!

Drink #29: West Coast Paralyzer

West Coast Paralyzer Drink

  • 1 oz Tequila
  • 1 oz Kahlua
  • Top with Milk and Root Beer
  • Garnish with a Maraschino Cherry

This recipe differs from the normal Paralyzer in that vodka is removed and cola is replaced by root beer, completely changing the flavour of the drink… for the better, might I add. The cocktail tastes like a Root Beer Float, by and large and is very enjoyable, perhaps best served as an after dinner dessert.

Now that I’ve locked the east coast into my deadly finishing maneuver, all I have to wait for is the tap-out. There it is, ring the bell!

Sip Adviosr Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
While I could have tried the original version of this cocktail, the West Coast theme (ie. Removing Vodka and swapping Cola with Root Beer) appealed to me more. It’s virtually unnoticeable, but I sprinkled some vanilla powdering onto the drink to give it an added dimension.