Tag Archives: Sauces

Cocktail Corner – The Last Sip

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Looking at the last meals of death row prisoners can be a fascinating exercise. With that in mind, I thought I’d put together my own final feast. I didn’t want to make it an open-ended buffet, so I limited how many items I could pick in each category. After many hours of agonizing over the options, here’s what the Sip Advisor would prefer to be munching if my ultimate indulgence was due:

Mains (3):

I decided to break this down into three categories, each one satisfying an entrée I particularly enjoy. First, in the Asian food phylum, I went with a poke bowl over items such as chow mein or fried rice with any number of proteins. I find the ingredients of a Poke Bowl to be so fresh and satisfying. Like I’m eating well for a rare occasion. Speaking of proteins, it’s a tough decision to select what would be the feature of my bowl, but I think I’d have to go with salmon over tuna. Second, I needed to have some sort of sandwich, opting for a club sandwich (fried chicken, bacon, lettuce, tomato), complete with pickles. The sandwich narrowly beat out selecting a burger. Third, a true top dish needed to be picked and I went with lobster tails. I’m not sure there’s a more decadent dish on earth than buttered lobby!

Sides (4):

This was the most difficult category to figure out. Some of the indecision came from figuring out what exactly qualified as a “side”, as well as enjoying many accompaniment dishes. My criteria for being a side was whether the dish generally appears on the starter or appetizer section of menus. I also used this category to make amends for some of the items that got squeezed out of the mains group. Curly fries poutine and Caesar salad were no brainers, followed by sliders to make up for my neglect of burgers above. The final addition I’d make is gyoza, which have become a favourite appy dish of mine in recent years. Missing the cut was chicken strips, as despite being an all-time favourite starter of mine, I’d get the crispy chicken portion settled in my club sandwich.

Snacks (2):

Truth be told, I created this category so I could slip a couple more side dishes into the meal! My 40th birthday party was potato chip themed, so you better believe they would play some role in my last meal. If I had to narrow down which flavours I could have, that would be a tough choice, but I’d be happy with a mix including Pink Himalayan Salt, All Dressed, Sour Cream & Onion and Barbecue being among the chosen options. One final note on the chips, they must all be ripple/ridge/wavy or I would send them back! I’d also like to have a bowl of Trail Mix on hand, comprised of Smarties/M&Ms, peanuts and cashews. I guess you can throw some raisins in the mix, but not nearly as much as companies overfill their bags with.

Desserts (3):

The Sip Advisor loves completing any meal with something sweet. My first choice would be some Chocolate Chip Cookies, preferably made by Ma Sip, who has been providing me with amazing baked goods since I was a wee little sipper. Next up would be something I’ve only been introduced to in recent years, Chocolate Babka. Lastly, I’d want some sort of chocolate bar, but narrowing which one down is incredibly difficult. Among my all-time favourites are Snickers, Twix, Wunderbar, Peanut Butter Oh Henry, and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Let’s take all those preferred choices and melt them into one super bar! A couple European faves, Black Forest Cake and Raspberry Danish, fall just outside being selected.



Beverages (2):

This was perhaps the easiest category, as I don’t regularly drink a large variety of things. Therefore, my first pick would be my favourite simple cocktail, the one I’m synonymous with and drink regularly with friends/family, Spiced Rum and Dr. Pepper (aka The Sip). My second choice would be an easy drinking Amber Ale, which pairs perfectly with a number of the food items I’ve curated. Narrowly missing the cut is plain ol’ water, which as much as I love, isn’t what I’d want to go out sipping.

Sauce/Dips (Unlimited):

I’m a big sauce/dip guy and I feel like this is the one category where infinite selections is okay. A few I’d definitely want on my palette include Ranch, Honey Mustard, Hotiyaki (mix of hot sauce and teriyaki), Sesame-Soy, Truffle Aioli, and Honey Garlic.

Cocktail Corner: The Last Sip

  • 1.5 oz Spiced Rum
  • 1 oz Root Beer Schnapps
  • Top with Lemon-Lime Soda
  • Splash of Honey-Yuzu Lemonade
  • Garnish with a Lime Wedge

Where the hell I would put all this food, given I typically eat half of my meals and save the other half for the following day, is anyone’s guess. My stomach would just have to find the space. The interesting thing about this Sip Advisor original recipe is that the inclusion of Root Beer Schnapps is an homage to the first soda I ever enjoyed. The rest of the ingredients are adult favourites of mine, making for an all-encompassing Sip Advisor experience!

If I Had $500

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For Mother’s Day, Mrs. Sip treated herself to a luxury item. I joked that maybe I should get to do the same for Father’s Day. While I won’t, I thought it would be a fun exercise to come up with some ideas if I did. So, in the vein of ‘If I Had a Million Dollars’ by the Barenaked Ladies, here’s the Sip Advisor’s ‘If I Had $500’:

Get Something for the Sipplings

Mrs. Sip and I are always looking to give the kids the best childhood possible. Therefore, an item like the new Nintendo Switch 2 does pique my curiosity. That said, this list is about treating myself and not others. Sure, I would likely play various games with the Sipplings, but I doubt I’d be able to dedicate much time to any video game system to justify buying one primarily for myself.

Do Something Practical

Our vehicle needs new tires, we are still making some upgrades and settling into our new place, investing/saving is always a good idea, etc. None of these are very much fun and I’m disappointed in myself that I even brought them up.

Cocktail Maker/Soda Machine

While one of these machines would be neat to have, I actually prefer building a cocktail from scratch myself and I’m not sure how much use I’d get out of a soda system.

Beer Fridge

Among the items on my long list of future acquisitions for our home is a second, smaller fridge, set up either outside or in our rec room, saving us time from having to go inside/upstairs to get beverages and snacks. Right now, though, a second fridge is lower on the totem pole than other necessities, so there it shall remain.

Air Hockey/Pinball Machine/Arcade Unit/Pool Table

I like these ideas, but space is limited in our place, at least until the kids grow up and share a similar interest in such items. One day, we will have a movie/games room, but today is not that day. Also, it would be hard to settle on just one of these games and an entire games collection would likely be necessary.

Driving Lessons for Mrs. Sip

Do you know what Mrs. Sip and I fight about more than any other element of our relationship? That’s right, her lack of driving ability. I’m basically Morgan Freeman in Driving Miss Sip – minus any racism. It is my dream to one day attend a friend’s party and be the one who doesn’t have to limit myself to one or two beverages. It is my dream to one day not have to pack up the whole household to run errands Mrs. Sip needs done. It is my dream… I think you get the point.

Sauce Shopping Spree

In the Barenaked Ladies song I referenced above, they joke about getting fancy sauces for all the Kraft Dinner (macaroni and cheese) the band would buy. Whenever I go down a condiments aisle at grocery stores, I marvel at all the different options. Some can be a little pricey, so picking a few options – or at least what I can fit in our fridge – is actually a legit contender for how I’d spend my money.

Fancy Potato Chips

Similarly, I could see myself wasting a small fortune on obscure potato chips. We’re talking unique flavours from around the world, as well as expensive releases found domestically. Then I’d throw them all into a small pool and pull off a sweet Scrooge McDuckian dive into the snacks below.

Expensive Cocktails

An epic night could be spent trying some of the best mixology I can access. I already have a few locations in mind, should I do such a crafty crawl. Let’s put this idea in the maybe pile.

Exercise Equipment

Lol, nope!

A Pet

Part of my reasoning to get a pet would be to prank Mrs. Sip. That said, there’s only one pet I would ever consider bringing into our home and that’s a honey badger. Seriously, it would be a cat and given I’d probably end up doing most of the work, a pet doesn’t seem like much of a treat at all.

A Kayak

The one weekend I went kayaking, I really enjoyed it. More than a decade later, I have yet to sit my ass down in one of those weird looking watercrafts again. Let’s be honest, the device would simply be a garage filler and rarely used, so why bother.

Second Air Fryer

My theory is one air fryer is a godsend, so two air fryers would be… two godsends!? Sometimes, particularly when guests are over, I curse the fact I only have one of these amazing machines. Given they can be found for reasonable prices, I could have a whole army of air fryers at my disposal!

Clothing Essentials

The Sip Advisor hates shopping, so I often put off buying even the most basic of clothing items. Sure, I have a list of items I need/desire, but that doesn’t mean I’m actually going to go out and achieve said shopping.

Meal Kit Subscription

We’ve all seen the memes about not realizing adulthood meant figuring out what to eat for the rest of your life. I’m chief cook at the Sip Advisor headquarters and it can be exhausting planning and preparing dinner in perpetuity. A meal kit helps, but you still have to pick your dishes and then make them.

Tickets to an Event

Despite the logistical headaches (travel, finding babysitters, etc.) that going to events nowadays holds, I still enjoy the occasional night out. Sporting events, concerts, evening on the town all sound like a great way to blow this windfall, but it would have to be just the right event to do so.

Tattoo

The Sip Advisor has long had a tattoo in mind, but I’ve just never got around to actually getting the ink done. Cost is definitely a bit of a deterrent for me, but now I have five hundy in hand!

Charity

The only charitable organization I’m willing to donate to is the Church of Sip. Then I’ll embezzle those funds for my own enjoyment!

The Maestro

  • 1.5 oz Patron Tequila
  • 1 oz Lillet Blanc
  • Dash of Angostura Bitters
  • Garnish with Edible Glitter

The most expensive cocktail in the world today is The Maestro, created by iconic mixologist Salvatore Calabrese at the Dubai cocktail bar Nahaté. Using rare bottles and even rarer glassware, the drink comes in at whopping $41,160 US. My version uses similar, but more common ingredients, so I’d probably sell it for 0.0001% of the price.

So, what should the Sip Advisor spend his theoretical fun money on? In all likelihood, I’ll probably just treat myself to some bottles of booze that fall well below what Mrs. Sip spent. Happy Father’s Day, y’all!

Cocktail Corner – She’s Paying

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Let’s be honest, nobody really likes paying for anything, but it’s a necessary evil of our society. Here are some things in particular the Sip Advisor hates having to pay for:

Sauces at Eateries

You ever complete a food order and ask for some packets of ketchup or something, and the place tells you that will cost extra? I also hate when you’re at a place and they give you the tiniest little sauce container and upon asking for more, you get dinged some silly charge. The Sip Advisor is a sauce guy, through and through, so if I ever ran a joint, I’d offer up as much of the good stuff as a customer needed to complete their meal.

Unnecessary Tips

First and foremost, I believe in all workers making a living wage and appreciate places like Australia, where servers and others don’t need to rely on tips. I’m tired of places like fast food restaurants and other stores having a tip option pop up when I’m paying. Well, I haven’t been served in any way, and in fact, I’ve done all the work for you. Sure, it’s easy to skip past leaving any tip, but you feel kind of bad doing so. At a fast food place, does that mean they’ll do something to your food or not prepare it to the highest of quality because you didn’t leave a little something extra?

Tipping

Parking

I loathe all types of pay parking, even going extra distances to not pay. Some lots, where you’re forced to pay is just insulting, adding salt to the wound. This includes hospitals and schools, among other establishments. I also can’t stand going into a pay parking lot and all the spots are reserved, even though they remain empty.

Service and Processing Fees

All the behind-the-scene costs that can occur with a transaction are ridiculous. They can best be seen with airline and event tickets, which puts companies such as Air Canada and Ticketmaster near the top of my dislike list. It’s not just that fees are charged, it’s that the fees are so unbelievably exorbitant and absurd.

Luggage

Speaking of airlines, I can’t believe the rates they charge for you to check a bag or sometimes to even carry one aboard the plane yourself. Sure, if you’re packing a few suitcases and other items, you should have to pay up, but we often travel with one or two bags for the entire four-person Sip Family. They should be paying us for being so considerate of others.

Luggage Fees

Medical/Dental/Vision Procedures and Items

Why some things, such as contacts and glasses, certain therapies, etc. are not fully covered – or sometimes even included – in medical plans is beyond my comprehension. As Mrs. Sip argues, these treatments can decrease more expensive costs in the future, but I guess medical plan providers hope you age out of their system by the time you really need coverage.

Toilets

Frankly, I think this act should be illegal. It’s exploitation and if you’re in a rush to use the facilities, say for yourself or with a young child, who has time to fumble around for payment. In a similar vein, but at least you can access a washroom in an emergency, is situations where a bathroom attendant waits near an exit to collect money after you’ve used a facility. And you have to wonder what exactly this attendant does, because every bathroom I’ve encountered with this set up is typically amongst the filthiest I’ve ever seen.

Bags at Stores and Restaurants

At some grocery stores and fast food restaurants in my neck of the woods, you can be charged for a paper bag for groceries and take out orders. I refuse to pay 25 cents for a bag I’m going to immediately recycle, so I’ve often carried my items out, which can look odd. Ah, the price I’ll pay to not pay!

Cocktail Corner: She’s Paying

She's Paying

  • 1 oz Vodka
  • 1 oz Coffee Liqueur
  • 0.5 oz Orange Liqueur
  • 0.25 oz Amaretto
  • Garnish with Money!

One last item I hate paying for is sex. Fellas, whether we like it or not, we’re all paying for sex in one way or another, even if you’re not going the hired companion route!

Flavour Revolution – Toffee

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Sticky Fingers

Toffee can be quite delicious, but also very sticky, getting caught in your teeth and causing a nuisance as you try to pry it out. Here are some of the world’s other sticky and sometimes annoying items:

Spider Webs

It causes great panic when you walk through a spider web. As you struggle to remove the arachnid goo from your face, you also have to worry that there’s a spider on your person. This doesn’t cause too much panic for the Sip Advisor, but for Mrs. Sip, a vocal anti-spider legislator, this is reason enough to launch into a fit of flailing limbs and verbal expletives.

spider webs sticky

Sauces

Finger food such as ribs, chicken wings, burgers, etc. can get pretty messy, often necessitating numerous napkins and sanitary wipes. Sometimes it’s fun to see just how much of a mess you can make when eating these items, so long as you’re not the one who has to wash the dishes used or clean the meal setting. That job is better left for the professionals.

Tar

While tarring and feathering someone has gone the way of the dodo, the act of public humiliation would really come in handy for unruly celebrities, such as Justin Bieber (just one example that immediately came to mind!). Instead, the only humiliation The Biebs had to go through was being roasted by comedians and other stars on an edition of Comedy Central Roast.

Velcro

Velcro was designed by Swiss engineer Georges de Mestral, who used the words “velours” (“velvet”) and “crochet” (“hook”) to create the portmanteau Velcro…  and the product sticks together just as successfully. While its best use is as an alternative to shoe laces, I think my favourite Velcro deployment is on those pads that people launch themselves into and try to stick to.

velcroshoes

Peanut Butter & Jam

The Sip Advisor is a huge PB&J fan, but I will admit that both ingredients can be a sore spot for those that don’t like getting their hands dirty while eating. I suppose that’s one good thing that could come out of having a peanut allergy: never having to wash off after making or eating a peanut butter-based sandwich. I’ll take the adhesive spread any day, though.

Super Glue

I remember one summer day way back when, when a panicked Pa Sip called out for help. Worried that he’d injured himself while working around the house, I rushed to his aid, only to discover that he’d accidentally super glued his fingers together. Once we both realized the emergency wasn’t so serious, we burst out laughing.

super-glue

Sap

While I loved climbing trees as a wee little sipper, I always hated how sticky the sap would make my hands. The scene in National Lampoons: Christmas Vacation when Clark Griswold is in bed reading a magazine and can’t turn a page without ripping it from the publication, thanks to unveiling the family Christmas tree, is a priceless example of this.

Gum

It really sucks when you get gum stuck to anything, be it on your shoes, in your hair, or on your face. Recently, I challenged Mrs. Sip to a bubble blowing contest (yes, we are actually adults!), but had to be very careful, given the facial hair I’ve been sporting for the last half year. While I emerged victorious, I wasn’t my usual self, worried about any errant bubble pop.

Flavour Revolution: Mark Twain

Being sticky isn’t all that bad. After all, a quick shower together cleans the slate for the next go round!

October 14 – Green Gobbler

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Pilgrim Party

Today is Canadian Thanksgiving and while it’s not the tradition that the American version has grown to be, it does provide an extra day off and a chance to reflect on the things we’re thankful for. Here’s my list:

Mrs. Sip

Although we are going through a trial separation (ie. she’s taken off on one of her world travels and left me to look after the house, pets, kids, and savings – if we had any of those things), I have to single her out as my greatest thing to be thankful for. She is my muse, my benefactor, and my raison d’etre. Now get your butt back home so you can sample all the wonderful creations this shambled mind is coming up with!

Muse

Family and Friends (aka The Sip Alliance)

I have some of the greatest family and friends anyone could ever dream up and I challenge anyone to top what I have been blessed with. The Sip Alliance has greatly supported me in my expedition to present a new cocktail every day to the wild, wild web. From shooting me ideas, to providing me with new alcohols to experiment with, I have the best pit crew a liquor jockey could ever ask for.

All My Little Sippers

This website has been a smashing success, in my honest opinion. Our stats continue to improve and I have all you readers to thank for that. I’m sure you’re asking yourself: “How can I support the Sip Advisor more?” Well, unless you’re Scrooge McDuck and want to sponsor my endeavours, you could at least like us on Facebook, sign up to follow the blog, or just continue to check back when you’re in the need of some info-tainment!

so many fans

Freedom

While I may not agree with the choices of many (your vegetarians and what have you), I’m happy to live in a time and place where people have the right to be who they want to be and what they want to be. When I declared to the world (well, perhaps it was more of a small gathering) that I intended to drink 365 cocktails in the calendar year of 2013, nobody told me I wasn’t allowed to do that (although they probably should have!) and all I received was love and support.

Deep Fryers

Can you imagine life without these wonderful machines? I surely can’t. How would I get my fries or chicken strips or even tempura vegetables? Most of you have heard the harrowing tale of my quest to get a deep fryer – despite Mrs. Sip’s opposition – going so far as to petition the internet to support my cause. While we came up short in our pursuit, I still have much love for one of the greatest inventions in history.

cat-wants-a-deep-fryer

Sauces

Do you remember that scene in Fight Club, where Edward Norton’s character describes the contents of his fridge and it’s basically stuffed with condiments? That might as well be me on some occasions. I’m a full ranking member of the sauce nation. I love so many of these concoctions, that I mix and match them like women do with their clothing and I get giddy when I discover a new item I want to purchase.

Comedy

Laughing soothes the soul and therefore I surround myself with as much funny material as I possibly can. From trips to the local comedy club, to sitting back with a few of my old animated friends (The Simpsons, American Dad, Archer, etc.), rarely does a moment go by where I’m not getting in a good chuckle. I often break out into hysterical laughter in the middle of a quiet work day, leaving my colleagues to ponder my mental state!

Drink #287: Green Gobbler

Green Gobbler Drink Recipe

  • 0.75 oz Raspberry Vodka
  • 0.75 oz Pumpkin Pie Vodka
  • Splash of Blue Curacao
  • Top with Sweet & Sour Mix
  • Garnish with Berries

What are you thankful for on this most glorious of days away from work (aren’t they all wonderful)? Enjoy your feast!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (2.5 Sips out of 5):
Perhaps this isn’t the most traditional Thanksgiving recipe I could have used, but the mix of flavours intrigued me and so I went for it. The drink was only okay, as I didn’t taste the Pumpkin Pie Vodka as much as I hoped I would. It was kind of subdued by all the citrus and berry notes.