June 28 – Surfer on Acid

Posted on June 28, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Summer Fun

With summer just kicking off, people out there might be making lists of the things they want to accomplish throughout the season. Here are some of the items that routinely appear at the top of Mrs. Sip’s and my summer bucket list… we hope we can be of assistance to all you little sippers out there:

#5: Picnic in the Park

The Sip Advisor makes a damn good sandwich and there’s nothing better than finding a nice quiet spot in the park to enjoy your own creation. If you’re lazy, you can always get someone else to make the sandwich for you (I’ve heard a place called Subway has decent hoagies) and then you know it will be done properly. Make sure to grab some good sides and snacks to round out the meal and be ready for dessert, too. If you can sneak some wine into your setting, then definitely go for it. All that’s left is to bring a comfy blanket along because you’ll probably be in the mood for a nap!

#4: Getting Active

After spending many months cooped up in a small, crowded gym, it’s nice to get out into the great outdoors for some exercise. Whether rollerblading or biking, Mrs. Sip and I love the downtown Vancouver seawall route, which takes you through picturesque Stanley Park. As one would expect, given its name, the seawall offers some stunning scenery, as you roll through beach after beach. It’s not my cup of tea, but I’ve heard hiking is also popular during the summer. You could even be one of those kooks that does their yoga or tai chi outdoors. Just get off the couch and get outside!

#3: Drive-In Theatre

While these amazing places seem to be a dying breed, if you have one even remotely nearby I whole-heartedly suggest you check out a couple flicks there. It’s always fun to go snack shopping prior to the night out and given most of the theatre’s revenue comes in the form of food sales, we’re always sure to make a couple purchases there, too. For the price of one movie in a normal theatre, you can get two or three at the drive-in and best of all, you can actually talk to your vehicle-mates throughout, without being a bother to over viewers. Trying to stay up until the wee hours of the morning (if you’re going for three films) can be daunting for some.

#2: Drinking on Patios

You know that summer has officially arrived in this part of the world when the patios open up and folks can be seen enjoying their libations in the fresh air. Once the first glimmer of sun peaks its way through the rain clouds, it can be tough to get a spot on any of the city’s spectacular decks, but it’s worth the wait to be able to enjoy a beverage while people watching or getting reacquainted with friends that have hibernated through the winter. This wonderful experience also applies to the decks of your mate’s homes, where you don’t have to worry about exorbitant prices for cocktails.

#1: Drinking Poolside

Of course, to achieve this, you either need to have your own cement pond, or have a generous friend who doesn’t mind sharing theirs. I, of course, am the latter in that statement and I love throwing parties for my crew, where all that is required is a pair of swim trunks and some flippy-floppies (plus a case of beer) for good times to ensue. As day turns to night and all inhibitions are drowned by booze, it might be time to lose those coverings and go for an incredibly liberating skinny dip. Luckily, there’s always someone too conservative to join in, so make sure to make them the beer wench for the late night shenanigans!

Super Saturday Shot Day: Surfer on Acid

0.5 oz Coconut Rum
0.5 oz Jagermeister
Splash of Pineapple Juice
Garnish with Pineapple Wedges

Honourable mentions go to watching fireworks, barbecuing, camping, and going to the fair. You’ll notice that “Going to the Beach” is absent from my ‘To Do’ list. Need I remind all you little sippers that the Sip Advisor doesn’t like sand. When I have access to swimmable water in a private setting, why would I ever go to the poor man’s pool? Your hate mail is always welcome!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This shooter was pretty good and I like that the Pineapple Juice component was minimal. A funny story: To get the Pineapple Wedges, I bought a couple slices of Hawaiian pizza and plucked the garnishes off for later use. When I finally used the pieces, I could still taste the pizza flavours, such as ham and tomato sauce. Ah, memories!

Jamaica – Neo-Tropical

Posted on June 24, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Lightning Strikes

The fastest man on the planet in one Usain Bolt. This Jamaican worked his way up to become an icon of the running world and his country of Jamaica. Let’s take a closer look at the ‘Lightning Bolt’ (seriously, the dude’s name is perfect for the sport he excels at), while enjoying some fine Jamaican rum!:

Born in Trelawny, Jamaica on August 21, 1986, Bolt turned pro in 2004 after a successful youth and junior career. At his first Olympic Games in 2004, he was eliminated in the first round, while suffering through a leg injury. Four years later, the world would be formally introduced to the sprinter who runs at a whopping 23.7 mph.

Bolt holds the World Record in the 100m, 200m, and 4x100m relay, his three signature events. Combined, Bolt has taken home six Olympic gold medals as well as numerous other awards and accolades. His honours include IAAF World Athlete of the Year, Laureus World Sportsman of the Year, Track & Field Athlete of the Year, and BBC Sports Personality of the Year.

Despite his triple gold medal performance at the 2008 Beijing Olympics and leap into the world’s eye, Bolt had not been very successful in the 100m discipline up to that historic victory. It has been noted that Bolt’s finishing time could have been even better, given the runner slowed up at the end and began celebrating.

It’s hard to believe, but Bolt first aspired to be a professional cricketer. Can you imagine this energetic speed demon sitting idly and going through the long matches that make up the wicket sport? Instead, he takes care of business in under 10 seconds (20 for 200m races). Anyway, it was his cricket coach who steered him towards sprint running after noticing the athlete’s intense speed. Bolt is also an avid football fan (of the European variety, of course) and has dreamed of suiting up for Manchester United when he retires from sprinting.

Talk about an athlete you can love and respect: the man ate Chicken McNuggets throughout his time at the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Apparently, Bolt was afraid to eat anything else while in China and estimates he consumed 1,000 McNuggets over his 10-day stay in the country. Somehow this didn’t lead to a McDonald’s sponsorship deal… perhaps it’s because his favoruite fast food restaurant has been noted as being KFC.

The Sip Advisor doesn’t like tying his shoe laces and apparently this is a trait shared with Bolt. The difference is, I’m an booze enthusiast who needs to be able to remove his shoes in the worst of stupors, while Bolt is a finely-tuned athlete who participates in a sport where equipment could make all the difference. Bolt even ran his record shattering 100m gold medal race with laces undone.

Bolt has his own mobile game app, Bolt!, which sees the track star running from pirates while trying to collect gold coins and avoid obstacles. Bolt is also a playable character in the wildly popular Temple Run video game series, which follows a very similar premise, just minus the pirates.

The runner’s famous victory pose, dubbed ‘To Di World’, is more commonly known the world over as ‘Bolting.’ I’m still waiting for my ‘Sipping’ stance to take the universe by storm, but Mrs. Sip tells me I shouldn’t hold my breath. Then again, it’s not like I can really kill any MORE brain cells!

Bolt enjoys annual earnings of over $20 million, coming from prize money, appearances, endorsements, and even the Jamaican government. He has promotional deals with Puma, Visa, Nissan, Virgin Media, Gatorade, and many others, which account for all but approximately $300,000 of his net worth.

The Jamaicans are a musical bunch (our next post will focus on reggae and the Rastafarian movement) and Bolt even has his own line of headphones. Soul Electronics signed a deal with the runner to be their global ambassador. He also has his own restaurant and sports bar in Jamaica, called Tracks & Records, as well as a clothing line.

An autobiography chronicling Bolt’s life was released in 2010. Titled ‘My Story: 9.58: Being the World’s Fastest Man,’ Bolt said of the book at a press conference before it hit store shelves: “It’s my life, and I’m a cool and exciting guy.” Sounds about right for a guy who in his free time enjoys dancing and DJ’ing and has been described as laid back… everything you might expect from a Jamaican appearing in a Red Stripe beer commercial!

Jamaica: Neo-Tropical

2 oz Appleton Rum
0.5 oz Coconut Rum
0.25 oz Jagermeister
0.25 oz Raspberry Liqueur
Splash of Pineapple Juice
Garnish with Raspberries

I can’t believe how many similarities the Sip Advisor shares with this world-class athlete. From the untied shoes to supporting Manchester United to our mutual love of chicken nuggets… look out, Mrs. Sip, I think I’m falling in love with the man!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This cocktail’s liquor mix was interesting with Jagermeister being invited to play with the rums. Once again, Pineapple Juice isn’t a favourite mixer of mine, but it was decent here. I’ve always loved Raspberries as a garnish and this rendition was no different.

Switzerland – Island Donkey

Posted on May 29, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

Confectionary Dream

Well, we began our layover in Switzerland with a helping of cheese fondue and today we move onto dessert in the form of Swiss chocolate. The Swiss are the world’s largest consumers of the sweet stuff and therefore, are home to some of the greatest chocolate factories in existence. Let’s take a look at some of those famous confectionaries:

Cailler

After learning the art of chocolate manufacturing in Italy for four years, François-Louis Cailler opened Switzerland’s first factory in 1819. In 1875, Cailler’s son-in-law, chocolatier Daniel Peter (ironically, this dude’s name features both the Sip Advisor’s and Broski Sip’s names), concocted the brilliant idea of combining his chocolate with Henri Nestlé’s condensed milk, thus creating milk chocolate, which is by far the best chocolate in existence. Things came full circle in 1929, when the Cailler company was absorbed by Nestlé, which had grown to be one of the world’s largest manufacturing conglomerates after Henri Nestlé sold his company to fellow associates.

Suchard

Phillippe Suchard opened Switzerland’s second chocolate factory in 1826 and struggled to keep the business running until a mass order of his creations by Frederick William IV, King of Prussia, in 1842. Suchard selected the unique packaging colour of purple, believing that it would separate his products from others and eventually became the largest chocolate producer by the end of the 19th century. After Suchard passed away in 1884, his company created the Milka product, which is immensely popular in Europe. Today, Kraft Foods owns Suchard’s factory.

Lindt

This company produces one of Ma Sip’s favourite lines, the Lindor chocolate balls, which now come in a variety of different flavours, including Peanut Butter, Raspberry, Mint, Coconut, Caramel, Mocha, and so many others. Each style comes wrapped in a different coloured foil. Lindt runs six factories around the world, including facilities in Germany, France, Italy, Austria, and the United States. Swiss tennis star Roger Federer was named Global Brand Ambassador for Lindt in 2012 and now plays his sport solely using the chocolate spheres, walking off courts if they insist on the old fuzzy green tennis ball!

Tobler

Earlier, we looked at one of Ma Sip’s favourite treats and now we get to Pa Sip’s chocolate of choice, Toblerone. Perhaps Toblerone’s greatest mark on the industry came in 1932, when they created the first filled chocolate bars, with the Tobler-O-Rum (I can certainly appreciate their desire to bring liquor into the chocolate game!). Since then, the Toblerone bar has been stuffed with everything from fruit and nut to honeycomb. The company has also played a role in politics, as Swedish Prime Minister candidate Mona Sahlin was bounced from the ballot in 1995, after it was discovered that she had purchased two Toblerone bars using taxpayer money. I only hope the marketing folks at Tobler jumped on this fortuitous occurrence.

Frey

Over 500,000 chocolate bars leave the Frey factory in Aargau, Switzerland every single day thanks to the enterprise’s 2,400 different products. That totals approximately 42,000 tons of the sweet stuff every year. The unicorn head that adorns the company’s logo and labels is a nod to the brothers (Max and Robert Frey) family crest. The siblings started the business in 1887. Frey makes six million Easter bunnies each year and has given their line of rabbits the names Sunny, Funny, and Lucky. The company also dabbles in chewing gum just in case people ever stop eating chocolate!

Teuscher

Teuscher outlets can be found around the world, including posts in New York City, Toronto, Tokyo, Hong Kong, Berlin, and a number of other major cities (I’ll concede, just this once, that Toronto is, in fact, a major city). Teuscher is perhaps most famous for their Champagne Truffles, which the company invented. The treat uses Dom Perignon champagne in its recipe, meaning it’s the candy choice of thug rappers everywhere. Despite their operations being run out of Zurich, the company also bakes popular cookies (a gingerbread-esque offering) for the city of Basel, Switzerland, a top rival to Zurich.

Switzerland: Island Donkey

1 oz Chocolate Liqueur
1 oz Coconut Rum
0.5 oz Goldschlager
Garnish with Swiss Chocolate

After all that chocolate talk, I need a nice cold glass of milk to wash it all down. This drink may do the trick, as well, but I’m not sure how well it will pair with the Lindor and Toblerone snacks I’ve put aside for my own enjoyment!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I’m not a fan of the name of this cocktail, but it did allow me to find a Goldschlager recipe that included chocolate, which goes perfectly with the theme of this article. The drink was a little thicker than I would have liked, but I couldn’t complain about its flavours. I used some Toblerone Chocolate for the garnish and that’s always an enjoyable element!

South Africa – African Lullaby

Posted on January 20, 2014 by Daniel Wilson

His Excellency

Our voyage across the Atlantic Ocean ends with our arrival in South Africa. It’s pretty easy to pick out the country’s most notable citizen. Competing against the likes of wrestler Col. DeBeers (actually played by American Ed Wiskoski) and disgraced Olympian Oscar Pistorius, it’s a no-brainer that Nelson Mandela stands above the rest of the nation’s celebrities. Here are some facts about the man, the myth, the legend, that might not be very well known:

Mandela’s birth name “Rolihlahla” means troublemaker (or pulling the branch of a tree, but troublemaker is so much cooler, especially given the changes Mandela was responsible for). He was given the name Nelson by a teacher on his first day of school, as African children were given English names so colonial masters could pronounce them easier.

The man known as Madiba (a term of endearment and respect) was on the U.S. terror watch list until 2008 due to his militant fight against apartheid with members of the African National Congress. He was 89 years old when finally removed from the record.

Mandela was a boxing fan and found similarities in the sport to his struggle, according to his biography Long Walk to Freedom: “I did not like the violence of boxing. I was more interested in the science of it – how you move your body to protect yourself, how you use a plan to attack and retreat, and how you pace yourself through a fight.”

Outside the sports arena, Mandela was a big fan of the late 90’s pop group, the Spice Girls. He claimed upon meeting them in 1997, “These are my heroes.” Perhaps the leader should have parlayed some of his power into a ménage a cinq!

Mandela opened the first black law firm in South Africa and provided free counsel to many blacks.

The prison cell Mandela occupied for 18 years on Robben Island is now a World Heritage Site. The cell measures 8-feet by 7-feet and contained a straw mat to sleep on. While incarcerated, Mandela was forced to work in a quarry and denied the use of sunglasses. The intense glare coming off the limestone permanently damaged his sight.

Towns, streets, squares, parks, buildings, schools, monuments, flowers (Madiba and Mandela’s Gold), a nuclear particle (Mandela particle), and even a woodpecker (australopicus nelsonmandelai) have been named after the former South African president.

Mandela was a noted ladies’ man in his youthful days, as documented in the book Young Mandela. It’s said he carried on numerous affairs at any given time proving just exactly how awesome he was.

Ladies man, indeed!

Winnie Madikizela-Mandela, Mandela’s second wife, was convicted of kidnapping, involving the abduction and murder of a 14-year-old suspected police informant. Mandela later divorced Madikizela after 38 years of marriage, including all of Mandela’s time while incarcerated. Other accusations made against Madikizela include ordering murders, violent interrogations, and supporting the use of “necklaces” (a death sentence of putting a burning tire around the head of an enemy).

Mandela’s film credits include Spike Lee’s Malcolm X, in which he plays a teacher reciting the activist’s famous speech. Mandela would not say the line “By any means necessary,” due to his pacifist beliefs, so the movie ends with footage of Malcolm X delivering the axiom.

Morgan Freeman played Mandela in the movie Invictus, about South Africa’s underdog victory at the 1995 Rugby World Cup, an event which has been credited for uniting the citizens of the country, regardless of colour or creed. The title of the movie is also the name of the William Ernest Henley poem Mandela drew strength from during his long imprisonment.

Other actors who have portrayed Mandela include: Idris Elba (Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom), Danny Glover (Mandela), Terrence Howard (Winnie Mandela), and Dennis Haysbert (Goodbye Bafana).

South Africa: African Lullaby

2 oz Amarula
Top with Milk
Splash of Coconut Milk/Rum
2 Dashes of Nutmeg
Garnish with Coconut Shavings and Cinnamon

Lastly, it should be noted the Mandela deplored the vuvuzela horn… okay, I don’t know this for fact, but I have to assume that a dude as cool as Mandela would grow tired of the annoying horn eventually!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I’ve always been curious about Amarula cream liqueur (amarula is an African fruit) and finally decided to grab a bottle for this Around the World project. It’s a very nice spirit on its own and made this cocktail unique and delicious. The recipe suggests to use Coconut Milk, but I went with Coconut Rum to change things up. After all, regular Milk is already part of the drink.

November 16 – Scooby Snack

Posted on November 16, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Treat Time

Today, we take a look at fictional snacks in TV and movies… but not just any fictional snacks… no, fictional snacks that have since gone on to become real, buyable products. The world is truly a wonderful place!

Scooby Snacks – Scooby Doo

How someone turned a fictional puppy edible into fruit snacks and cookies geared towards kids is an act of pure genius. There are also dog treats that go by the same name, so be careful when buying the product for your young’uns. I have to say that I really hate the Scooby Snack song, as it plays in my head every time I think about Scooby Doo (which is far too often for a 30-year-old) and once again, the tune is stuck in my brain… must move on.

Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans – Harry Potter

When this company says they have “every” flavour, they mean it. The line includes tastes of earwax, rotten egg, vomit, dirt, and sausage mixed in with your normal fare: watermelon, cherry, blueberry, banana, and green apple. This listing kind of sounds like a Survivor Series wrestling match, with the five dastardly baddies taking on the good and pure for taste supremacy. I think you’d have to be a Harry Potter super fan to pick up a pack of these jelly beans.

Stay Puft Marshmallows – Ghostbusters

Most people think fondly of the iconic scene in Ghostbusters where the team of Peter Venkman, Ray Stantz, Egon Spengler and Winston Zeddemore battle the mammoth Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Their reward for protoning the literal tub of goo was to be covered with the white sticky substance (don’t get any ideas) he was made of. It’s too bad they didn’t next face a chocolate-based monster and finally a graham-cracker encrusted foe to complete the smores trio!

Cheesy Poofs – South Park

Eric Cartman’s favourite snack treat is an actual product, released to tie-in with the series’ 15th anniversary. While I’m not a fan of eating cheese, I have on occasion enjoyed cheese-powdered snacks like Doritos and Cheetos. The product, which is thought to have originated in Canada (according to the show) is so beloved by Cartman that he even auditioned to be the face of the advertising campaign, but had his song largely cut from commercials.

Willy Wonka Products – Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

This fine collection of Wonka products includes Gobstoppers, Nerds, Laffy Taffy, Pixy Stix, Fun Dip, Runts, Sweet Tarts, Shockers, and so much more. I keep hoping the company will eventually open a factory, complete with Oompa-Loompas, a chocolate river, and the chance to be taught a valuable lesson on how to behave! So long as they don’t include that trippy, psychedelic boat-trip tunnel scene that include some pretty haunting imagery.

Krusty-O’s – The Simpson

While this item could be considered part of a balanced breakfast, let’s be honest, it’s more frosted snack than healthy meal. Yes, the same cereal that gave away a jagged metal Krusty-O, which nearly killed Bart Simpson, was released to the public as part of a tie-in with The Simpsons Movie in 2007. 7-11 stores that were temporarily branded as Kwik-E-Marts to go along with the promotion were largely where the cereal could be located.

Drink #320: Scooby Snack

0.3 oz Coconut Rum
0.3 oz Crème de Banane
0.3 oz Midori
Splash of Pineapple Juice
Garnish with Whip Cream

Which fictional product would you love to be able to consume? For myself, I’d have to pick Sweetums NutriYums (Parks and Recreation), Smurfberries (The Smurfs), and Cornballs (Arrested Development). Put them together and you’ll have yourself one hell of a feast!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (5 Sips out of 5):
Wow… that’s all I can really say about this shot. It is the first shooter to receive a 5-Sip rating and it’s hard to really describe how good it is. First, you’re hit with the Whip Cream, before the Crème de Banane, Melon Liqueur, Coconut Rum, and Pineapple Juice come in the finish the flavour party. It all goes down so smooth and tastes so delicious. There are four variations of the Scooby Snack, but each follows a general pattern. I’ve provided the recipe for the original. Now I understand why Scooby was so willing to put himself in danger after a little treat!

September 16 – Bahama Mama

Posted on September 16, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Rum Jams

Music and rum seem to be a match made in heaven. There are so many rum songs out there, particularly from Caribbean nations. Here are some good tracks I was able to dig up:

Rum and Coca-Cola – The Andrews Sisters

I love this tune. It will be played repeatedly when I’m on a rum bender… and that happens with awesome regularity. I’m shocked I had never heard this song before. With Ma and Pa’s passion for rum and cokes, combined with their love for tropical settings and everything that goes along with it, I don’t know why it’s never been played in their backyard on any of our glorious swimming days or at any of their family parties. Perhaps I have now been able to pass something along to them for future celebrations.

Dead Man’s Chest – Various

The rum playlist goes two for two with this pirate shanty. Playing this song will have you and your mates swinging your arms and your mugs of libations around and having a great time of it all. You might even start some swashbuckling adventures thanks to the theme. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! This song originally comes from the book Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson and has been featured in the Pirates of the Caribbean movie franchise. Yar!

Bundaberg Rum – Bill Scott

Bundaberg Rum has a reputation of being consumed by loud and troublemaking folk. You know, the kinds of jerks at the bar you don’t want to be around. In Australia, they’re referred to as yobbos, which is a great term. Four bars in Brisbane banned the rum in 2005 because of the disruptive nature it caused for some. Apparently, this is exactly what the Bundaberg company wanted, as its ads were geared towards the yobbos. As for the song, it’s alright, but not as good as the other two.

Little Drummer Boy – Various

Rum pum pum pum… I guess this doesn’t really belong. Let’s get drunk!

Drink #259: Bahama Mama

1 oz Dark Rum (I used Captain Morgan)
0.25 oz Coconut Rum
0.25 oz Kahlua
Top with Pineapple Juice
Splash of Lemon Juice
Garnish with a Maraschino Cherry and Cocktail Umbrella

What’s your favourite rum anthem? Make sure it’s loaded up the next time you crack a bottle of Bundaberg Rum and go on a rampage!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I really enjoyed this drink, despite its use of many ingredients I find to be hit or miss. This time, items like Pineapple and Lemon Juice were indeed hits. There are other Bahama Mama recipes out there, but I completely recommend the one I settled on.

September 12 – Furry Purple Squirrel

Posted on September 12, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Mascot Mess

Teams largely have mascots to engage young fans and as a merchandising opportunity. I don’t know why college teams have mascots, as well, but I guess alcohol and people dressed as animals is always a winning combination. Each major league (NHL, MLB, NBA, NFL) is guilty of poorly chosen characters. Here are some of the worst mascots in the wide world of sports:

Carlton the Bear – Toronto Maple Leafs (NHL)

How in the hell is a bear the mascot for this team? Did they just want to be able to sell oodles of merchandise using a cute teddy bear? The team’s mascot should really be a dude dressed up in a leaf costume and they could do this performance introduction, where the leaf blows through the sky and lands flat on the ground, only to be crushed by passersby. Just like the team itself… symmetry, my friends, symmetry. Leafs suck, btw.

Heh, golfing… just like the Maple Leafs every spring!

Raymond – Tampa Bay Rays (MLB)

There’s just no zip to this name and the character is even worse, described as a seadog and wearing large sneakers and a backwards ball cap. Raymond is really just a slacker, complete with unkempt facial hair. Why couldn’t the mascot be a sting ray, with the tag line “I killed Steve Irwin, so don’t mess with us!” Now that would be bad ass.

Bear – Utah Jazz (NBA)

They couldn’t even give their mascot a decent nickname? The marketing department sat around and just settled with Bear? I’d be more impressed with Bear if he occasionally picked up a musical instrument and belted out some jazz scat tunes. Then again, the Jazz name doesn’t even work in Utah and is only a carryover from the franchise’s New Orleans origins. Ridiculous all around.

Rowdy – Dallas Cowboys (NFL)

Rowdy looks like Fix-It Felix from Wreck-It Ralph… except he appears a little more Broke Back Mountain than the team would probably want. The Cowboys legacy as a rough and tumble team doesn’t hold up so well when Rowdy is paired with that lineage. He has to be the creepiest looking cowboy I’ve ever seen, making the blood of Clint Eastwood boil to extreme levels.

Spartacat – Ottawa Senators (NHL)

I don’t get the orange hair. Doesn’t the Senators organization know that the world hates gingers!? Not myself, I find them to be loveable folks, but I am a rare breed. Readers know of my love for cats, but this one just doesn’t sit right. The name is okay too, but I just don’t see the necessity for that orange hippie hair. Call me crazy (and I’m sure you have), but I just can’t get past that.

Screech – Washington Nationals (MLB)

How awesome would it be if the Washington Nationals mascot wasn’t a anthropomorphic bald eagle, but was, in fact, Screech from Saved by the Bell!? Other than that minor note, I really don’t have any problem with Screech. He falls in line with the team name and the city the franchise plays out of. I probably should have left him off the list… but that Saved by the Bell thing still bugs me.

Hip Hop the Rabbit – Philadelphia 76ers (NBA)

Sure, basketball teams need to cater to the hip hop market and fans of the music genre, but this is really taking things a little too far. Hip Hop looks like a “gangsta” Trix Rabbit on roids, who instead of searching aimlessly for the beloved cereal, performs slam dunks off trampolines to pass the time. Let’s just hope Hip Hop doesn’t become a casualty of the East-West Rap Feud.

Stinger – Columbus Blue Jackets (NHL)

How anyone could consider an insect cute and cuddly is a question I’ll never be able to answer. Still, this pest was able to find work with the Columbus Blue Jackets, despite being a yellow jacket bug. That mixed with the teams blue colours, has turned him green, just to confuse people even more. I foresee a large swatter and a satisfying splat in Stinger’s future!

Sparky the Dragon – New York Islanders (NHL)

Why a dragon is the mascot for this team is perplexing. Sure, the owner, Charles Wang (heh… wang) is of Asian descent, but is that enough to justify this move? Not to mention he simply transferred the character over from his former Arena Football League franchise and you have the makings of a mascot conspiracy. We must form a task force to get to the bottom of this!

Dinger – Colorado Rockies (MLB)

The Colorado Rockies entered Major League Baseball around the time that Barney the Dinosaur was huge for many youngsters. I guess they decided to capitalize on that marketing craze when conceptualizing Dinger. Apparently, making Dinger a Triceratops was based on reports of dinosaur fossils being discovered as the franchise built its Coors Field stadium. I have to say that I do like the name Dinger, though.

Bernie Brewer – Milwaukee Brewers (MLB)

This mascot has to be the closest thing to resemble a 1970’s porn star in the sporting world, complete with a full, bushy, handlebar moustache. I bet under that jersey is a chest full of wild, curly hair and if we keep travelling downwards, a Ron Jeremy-esque member. The Brewer probably drinks a ton, too, and may be the best candidate on this list to party with!

Youppi – Montreal Canadiens (NHL)

The only thing worse than a bad mascot is a bad mascot that was meant for another team. When the Montreal Expos were relocated to become the Washington Nationals, Youppi became a free agent, quickly snapped up by the Canadiens. I do have to give credit to Youppi for being the first mascot ever kicked out of a Major League Baseball game, which occurred in 1989 following LA Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda complaining to umps about the mascot’s behaviour.

Drink #255: Furry Purple Squirrel

Rim glass with Grape Candy Powder
1 oz Blue Curacao
1 oz Light Rum
1 oz Coconut Rum (I used Malibu)
Top with Club Soda
Splash of Lime Juice
Dash of Grenadine
Garnish with a Maraschino Cherry

I must admit, I left off the many amateur sport mascots that could have filled three of these lists. Olympic mascots have always been ridiculous too. Just to keep things simple, I only focused on professional team mascots. Did I miss any? Leave a message after the beep. BEEEEEEEP!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This is an interesting recipe that includes floating the Coconut Rum on top of the drink right before serving. I picked this cocktail because it somewhat went with the topic of today’s post and because the blend of ingredients intrigued me. My Grape Candy Powder rim worked out better than others. I still don’t understand why every drink that purports itself to be purple never turns out that way and remains blue. Maybe I’m not using enough Grenadine, but then again, I don’t want to use a ton of Grenadine.

February 4 – Lounge Lizard #2

Posted on February 4, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Bar Crawl

When I profiled the original Lounge Lizard cocktail, I discussed my favourite real-life bars. Today, I turn reality upside down and present to you, my little sippers, the best of fictional bars. Sometimes we all wish these places were real. Seriously, though, it seems like every single show in history has featured a watering hole as a recurring setting (thus making this list extremely difficult to narrow down):

Cheers – Cheers

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name… I bet everyone who read that last line, sang it in their head! How great would it be to hang out with a regular Joe like Norm Peterson. Or shoot the shit with bartenders like Sam Malone and Woody Boyd. You could even get your daily dose of factually inaccurate trivia from Cliff Claven or some psychiatric treatment from Frasier Crane. Everyone in the place had something to offer – except maybe Paul, but we’ll let it slide.

Moe’s Tavern – The Simpsons

While Moe’s Tavern may not be the highlight of any visit to Springfield, it’s a decent joint that means a lot to its regulars. The bar has gone through a number of style changes with the times, usually to capitalize on some trend – gay bar, family restaurant, stylish martini bar (wouldn’t that be the same as the gay bar!?) – but it always returns to its former glory by episode’s end.

The Broken Stool – The Cleveland Show

After moving from Quahog, Rhode Island to Stoolbend, Virginia, Cleveland Brown promptly found himself a new group of friends – “there’s old friends, new friends and even a bear” – who regularly convene at The Broken Stool. There’s nothing like having a favourite haunt for you and your best buds and having a bear as a pal would absolutely rule. You could get him to catch fish for you and stuff.

Merlotte’s & Fangtasia – True Blood

In the True Blood universe, you have the best of both worlds. First, there’s Merlotte’s, where normal people can go to enjoy a drink or some southern cooking and crazy shit often happens. At Fangtasia, vampires, humans and werewolves alike can enjoy an evening of debauchery and crazy shit ALYWAS happens. How either owner can keep their places running with the high death rate (including to staff) and constant turmoil at each location, is beyond my comprehension.

Roger’s Place – American Dad

I dream of my own man-cave bar set-up one day… not that I don’t have that already, but it’s not in a man-cave. Neither is Roger’s Place, alien Roger Smith’s bar in the attic of the Smith family home. Here, Roger waxes philosophical for his visitors – usually suggesting a solution to their problem that gets them into even more trouble. Next time I’m bartending for the Sip Advisor friends and family, I’m going to give out bad advice… whether people want to hear it or not.

The Warsaw – The Drew Carey Show

One of the best features of this bar, was you could live above it, as Lewis and Oswald did, complete with their own fire pole into the place. Can you imagine how happy I, the Sip Advisor, would be if I could roll out of bed in the morning and ride a pole down to my favourite bar? Oh wait, I practically do that already, minus the pole and if you add a little more crawling to the trek.

Drink #35: Lounge Lizard #2

1 oz Coconut Rum
1 oz Blue Curacao
1 oz Melon Liqueur
Top with lemon-lime soda
Garnish with lemon and lime wheels

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
The Lounge Lizard family of cocktails may be one of my favourite. Here, you have Coconut Rum, Blue Curacao and Melon Liqueur all getting together to party as lemon-Lime Soda plays DJ and lays down some dope tracks. Not sure of what exactly I just wrote… let’s just say that the drink is spectacular.

Sip Advisor

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