September 14 – Rainbow Cookie

Posted on September 14, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Milk & Cookies

I am a recovering cookie monster. I still love to stuff my face full of these delicious treats, but as I move towards a healthier lifestyle and hope my body continues to hold up (I am nearing my dirty 30), I’ve drastically decreased my treat intake. That said, it’s nice to reminisce about my favourite confectionary goodies!

Minnie’s Bake Shop Cookies

No trip to the Disney parks is complete without stocking up on these delicious cookies. Mrs. Sip and I share one nearly every day we’re in the park and have been known to buy a bag full of them when we know we won’t be back for some time. If we’re ever asked by a friend or family member if they can get anything for us while they’re on a Disney vacation, we instantly answer: “COOKIES!” Our favourite is the White Chocolate Chip variety, but all of the options are top notch.

Ma Sip’s Cookies

I was raised on wonderful chocolate chip cookies and as I grew older, Ma Sip’s array of baked good treasures only expanded. I’ve enjoyed cookies with peanut butter, caramel chunks, shortbread (a Christmas tradition that’s good to celebrate all year round), and many others. Outside the realm of cookies, Ma Sip has a reputation for making other scrumptious desserts like Black Magic Cupcakes, Seven-Layer Bars, and even Chocolate Chip Banana Bread!

Tim Tams

This wicked treat, which Mrs. Sip and I first experienced in Australia, comes in a ton of styles, with my favourites being the caramel and strawberry brands. Only a couple flavours have made their way to Canada, which leaves us longing for the selection found down under. You can even do a Tim Tam Slam, which involves drinking a warm beverage like coffee, tea, or hot chocolate through the cookie as if it were a straw.

Oreos

Oreos are so classic that they just had to make my list. I like that the company is always experimenting with new limited release flavours… and there have been some doozies!: Candy Corn, Gingerbread, Cool Mint, Strawberry Milkshake, and too many others to name. I remember when eating Oreos as a youngster that it was always fun to go straight for the cream and finished the cookies separately. Playing with my food has always been a favourite pastime.

Girl Guide Cookies

I’m not a huge fan of the thin mint cookies the Girl Guides (Scouts in the U.S.) mistakenly peddle, but if you bring around a box of the classic vanilla and chocolate crème Girl Guide cookies, you just might see that box disappear quickly. I like alternating between the chocolate and vanilla or for extreme thrills, combining the two into one epic cookie sandwich! Money spent on the cookies goes towards supporting the Girl Guides program (from which Mrs. Sip was once a member), so I’m down with that, too.

Cookies &

These were awesome cookie bars that mixed a cookie crunch with popular chocolate bars. I remember there being Twix, Mars, Snickers, Milky Way, and M&M varieties. Sadly, the products have been discontinued, which is a real shame, because I would love to go back and revisit the snacks. This was another item that could only be found in the United States, leaving us Canadian fans in a lurch. It was also distributed in the U.K. as Biscuits &.

Schoolboy

There’s just something about having a slab of milk (or dark) chocolate on top of a biscuit that is so delicious. My money is on the biscuit part, but others tell me I’m crazy and it’s the chocolate. While the name and images on the cookie can get a little creepy and perhaps these are the preferred cookie snack of pedophiles around the world, once you get your mind past that issue, all that’s left is treat enjoyment.

Rainbow Chips Ahoy

The cookie that inspired this shot is a wonderful entry, which is best enjoyed with a quick dunk into a cold glass of milk and then gobbled down with complete disregard to etiquette, cleanliness, and the genocide of cookies everywhere. I enjoy most of the Chips Ahoy products, particularly their Chewy and Chunky varietals. Is it just me, or do all the tastiest words start with ‘Ch’!? Chewy, Chunky, Chocolate, Chips, Cheese… oh, just went and ruined my own theory!

Drink #257: Rainbow Cookie

0.5 oz Amaretto
0.5 oz Chambord
0.5 oz Crème de Cacao
Serve with a Cookie Accompaniment

How have I grossly injustice you by not including your favourite cookie treat? Come on, suckas, give me hell… and in return, I’ll tell you exactly why your precious, beloved snack just didn’t make the cut!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I was curious as to how the shooter would hold up to the cookie of the same name. This shooter gave me a good excuse to crack open our new bottle of Chambord, which provided the primary taste for the shot. The Crème de Cacao and Amaretto offer hints of flavour in the finish, but the Chambord is really what you notice. The cookie chaser was a nice touch, of course!

July 15 – Lay Back and Relax

Posted on July 15, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Panic Attack

We’ve all been there… these incidents come up in our lives and although they are relatively routine, our anxiety level rises, we begin to perspire, and all the crazy worst-case scenarios we can ponder rush through our mind. Then, when it’s all over we let out a light chuckle and wonder why we got so worried in the first place…

Gas Light Comes On

You’ve been watching your gas meter for most of the drive, noticing it incrementally drop as you make your trek. You get your first moment of panic as it drops under the 1/8th notch and continues to fall sharply. Then, the little orange light flashes on and you’re a mess, thinking your car will break down right then and there. Until you find a gas station, especially if you’re in unfamiliar territory, you’re a nervous wreck. When you find a station you race into it, nearly hitting a pedestrian or two (don’t worry, they don’t matter) and you fill your car up like breathing oxygen into a breathless human. All’s well that ends well!

Meeting a Celebrity

Not that I’ve met many in my life, but the few I have (in a non-working, journalistic capacity) have caused me to get super shy and tongue-tied. Broski Sip and I once went to a nearby Walmart to meet wrestler Bret Hart and have him sign his autobiography, which was to be my Christmas gift that year from Broski. As we approached his table, all I could utter was a quick thank you, before we shuffled off. A few months later, I conducted a 15-minute interview over the phone with the grappling legend, without a single star-struck moment.

Splitting the Bill/Calculating Tips

You’re out with friends for dinner or drinks and the bill comes. How should it be split? Who ordered what? How’s everyone paying? I think it’s just all the questions that come up after a bill has been presented that can raise anxiety. I don’t know why tipping gets me a little nervous. I’m a good tipper and many places now give you suggested percentages to tip. If you’re paying electronically, you can let science do all the calculations. We all just need to relax a little.

Getting ID’d

I’ve been legal age in Canada for more than a decade and even in the U.S., for quite some time. I don’t get as apprehensive about it anymore, but when I was in my mid-20’s I got worried every time I was ID’d. Would they accuse me of having fake identification? Not likely. I still get worried sometimes across the border, because they don’t necessarily know what our IDs look like and we have had some incidents where they insist on a passport over our normally adequate driver’s licenses.

Parallel Parking

I absolutely hate parallel parking to the point where I refuse to do it. This can be an issue sometimes, given I live in a downtown core and am often forced to run errands for Mrs. Sip (hmmm, maybe my problem is Mrs. Sip!?) I’m actually a decent parallel parker if I have to do it, but I’ve rarely been forced into the situation, so why risk it when you can usually find a better and more accessible spot with a little patience?

Border Crossing

This one is very similar to getting ID’d. I think it’s just because you don’t know what to expect from a border guard. Will they be friendly, or a total jerk? What questions will they ask you? Even if you haven’t done anything wrong in your entire life, you feel like a border patrol agent will somehow sniff out your one minor transgression. Then, all they ask you is where you’re going and wave you through without incident!

Getting a Haircut

Every time I get a haircut, there’s always a few moments at the start of the job, when you look in the mirror and look so totally ridiculous that thoughts start running through your head about how your luck has finally run out and this will be an awful haircut. I always think, if all else fails I could shave my head (a little ace in the hole for the male sex). Of course, the haircut always turns out well in the end, but for those few moments when you can’t see that the end result will be fine, you’re sweating bullets.

Drink #196: Lay Back and Relax

1 oz Kahlua
1 oz Amaretto
0.5 oz Chambord
Splash of Grand Marnier
Top with Milk
Garnish with Strawberry and Palm Tree Stir Stick

I know I’m not the only one that has a small panic during these moments. Join me in exercising your demons and perhaps you won’t feel so bad about these tasks in the future. Have I missed anything that really makes you anxious? Like Frasier Crane, I’m listening!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I figured this drink would be good and I wasn’t disappointed. It might be a little sweet for some, but that can be solved by dropping the increments of some of the spirits and upping the milk content. A perfect cocktail for dessert.

May 17 – PB&J Martini

Posted on May 17, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

After yesterday’s debacle of a cocktail, I’m happy to follow it up with this treat. Like a professional athlete in need of a bounce back effort, here I am scoring the game winning goal, destroying the walk-off homerun, hitting the buzzer beater… you get my drift. While I’m a big fan of liquid lunches, I have to say that my heart flutters for sandwiches, as well. Here are some of the best ones:

Grilled Cheese

I’ve mentioned before that I’m not the biggest fan of cheese. That said, I’m bizarrely a fan of grilled cheese sandwiches, providing they’re made with a white cheese like mozzarella or swiss and not the processed American cheddar slices that are synonymous with the meal. With a side of potato chips and a dollop of ketchup to dip your sandwich into, I’m in kid-like heaven.

BLT & Club

When I was younger, I was a picky eater. A BLT, though, was a favourite of mine and a regular order at restaurants. As my tastes evolved, the club sandwich largely replaced the BLT for me and it doesn’t matter whether that extra meat is turkey, chicken, ham, or all three… they’re all going to the same wasteland known as my stomach! You have to remember, my little sippers, bacon is an essential item on nearly every sandwich, so don’t be stingy with it.

PB&J

The classic that I make better than most everyone else on the planet (if I don’t say so myself)! Now that I’ve also conquered the liquid form of this marrying of peanut butter and jelly, you might even say that I’ve become a god among men. There aren’t many tag teams out there that can compare with peanut butter and jelly. Ham and pineapple gave them a run for their money once, but it was an uphill battle.

Ice Cream

The first draft of this blog did not include the scrumptious ice cream sandwich. For that, I have repented my sins and after considering whether or not my best days were behind me and it was time to retire from the writing game, I have decided to carry on and work at redeeming myself. The best ice cream sandwich I’ve ever had is the Tollhouse Chocolate Chip Cookie one, which used to be infinitely better before meddlesome folks began their crusade against junk foods.

Beef Dip

Not a lot beats a nice soft roll, stuffed with thin slices of roast beef and a delicious hot au jus to dip the sandwich into. Flavouring a meat in its own drippings seems cannibalistic, but nobody’s on trial here, so go ahead and do your worst. Destroy that sandwich with the ferocity of a natural predator and don’t feel a moment of remorse. If you are not of the carnivoristic variety, then go on your merry way with your *chortle* salad.

Pulled Pork

I love barbecued meats, especially pulled pork. I could eat this stuff on the reg and never get sick of the deliciously shredded substance. If you throw a little creamy coleslaw down on that sammy, brother, your head will be spinning into orbit. You don’t trust the Sip Advisor? You know, I’m not a one dimensional cocktail jockey… I hate other skills to go along with my liquor awesomosity.

Now that is a beautiful sandwich!

Philly Cheesesteak

I had never really tried a cheesesteak sandwich until an American Cheesesteak restaurant opened up close to my home. I have to say, that I was completely blown away. My order of choice is The Cowboy, which includes shaved prime rib, crispy onion straws, barbecue sauce, bacon mayo and aged white cheddar (which by now, you know is disqualified from my order). It’s a delicious meal that I don’t indulge in often enough.

Meatball Sub

Make sure to have your pens and paper ready because I’m about to reveal to the world my typical Subway order, now famously referred to as ‘The Advisor’. I start with a 12-inch meatball sandwich on Italian herb and cheese bread (yeah, I oddly like cheese in my bread, but not on my sandwich). I elect to not have it toasted and then I add the following condiments: lettuce, tomato, pickles, black olives, green olives (if I’m at one of the rare Subway’s that carries this delicious addition) and topped with mayo. My order is rarely modified because consistency is an art form.

Drink #137: PB&J Martini

Rim glass with Peanut Butter and Jelly
1.5 oz Chambord
1.5 oz Frangelico
Top with Milk

I bet after reading this, every single one of you are hungry for a good sandwich! In writing this post, I realized that I’ve never really had a true Sloppy Joe before. I will have to give this a try and see if it cracks the list above. My money is on it making the list… anyone else care to enter a wager!?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
A tasty drink made all the more better with a very fun rim job. You can also turn the ingredients into a shooter, if you remove the milk proportion. I’ve wanted to try this drink for some time and I was finally able to put it all together. It actually tastes like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, minus the bread and with a little more booze flavour than the lunch has. You won’t be disappointed if you try it yourself.

May 2 – Sex on the Sidewalk

Posted on May 2, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Walk-Blocking

I fancy myself as an expert walker… professional, even. Hell, I’ve been doing it for nearly 30 years and I feel that I’m at the top of my field. Sadly, on a daily basis, I see so many examples of people who don’t know how to walk properly on the streets and therefore I feel the need to depart my knowledge on the most dastardly members of our society, the walk-blockers.

This is an Idiot’s Guide to walking in urban areas. The first lesson is pretty simple: think of walking like you would driving. Walk in straight lines, stay to the right side of the “road”, allow for passing, and pull off to the side of the road if you want to stop. Seems pretty easy, right? Well, here are the most egregious fouls encountered out there on the foot highways and how to deal with them.

Cell Phone Talkers & Texters

Why is it that some people get so absorbed into their phones that they don’t realize the world going on around them? They don’t realize that they’ve slowed to a crawl, with a line of people trying to pass them because they’re staring at their phone, trying to figure out the meaning of life through the interpretation of text acronyms (2G2BT, HMU, ATST, B4N). And the people who walk around talking on blue tooth or other devices should be committed to mental institutions.

Zig-Zaggers

How hard is it to walk in a straight line? Well, from the evidence I’ve collected, this is a much more difficult task than I ever thought. I constantly see people bounce through a sidewalk block like they’re a ball from the Brick Breaker video game. Passing these guys and gals is tough because just as you try to go around them one way, they may switch their direction. They’re like game baddies with good artificial intelligence.

Four Wide

This one aggravates me to no end because not only do they walk four-people wide, taking up the entire sidewalk width, but they’re usually of the slow walker variety and you can find yourself stuck behind them for entire blocks. I don’t want to call out any race in particular, but it seems that Asian girls like to roll at a minimum of four wide… WHILE HOLDING FREAKIN’ HANDS! This should be punishable by tentacle erotica.

Stoppers & Gawkers

I love it when you’re walking behind someone and they suddenly stop without warning. Listen douche bag, I don’t care what text came through or which restaurant marquee you want to check out, if you want to stop in the middle of traffic, try this crazy new thing called stepping to the side first, then do what you need to do (radical, I know). This offence is most often occurs in malls and at theme parks.

The Homeless (aka The Walking Dead)

These “people” sure know how to get attention… the negative kind, of course. There is nothing I love better than racing to work, sleepy and cranky that it’s Monday (or Tuesday, or Wednesday or… well really any day that you have to go to work) and then suddenly a homeless person decides that it is the perfect time to solicit me for a portion of the minimal wages I’m dragging my butt out of bed to go make. Their best tactic seems to be completely blocking my route and forcing me to acknowledge their existence. That’s when I start busting out the flying forearms and lariat clotheslines and the dreaded, last resort, roaring elbow!

Gatherings

For some reason, these gatherings (usually outside restaurants, bars and clubs) just seem to mushroom and grow, as one smoker becomes 10 in no time and you’re forced to walk on the road briefly to circumvent the congregation. Sometimes, I like to be a dick and walk right through the crowd, interrupting the flow of their surely groundbreaking conversation.

Children & Animals

Not that they are the same (their parents may beg to differ), but I lump kids and pets together because both get a pass from me. They just don’t know any better. However, their parents/owners should be making sure they don’t severely disrupt the flow of walking traffic and they’re often too busy with their faces in their phones to monitor their little ones. However, parents with buggies are a whole other story! (especially in theme parks!)

Drivers and Their Vehicles

Every single day, I encounter at least three incidents where I’m almost hit by a car… and I’m constantly paying attention and looking out for this. I fear for the people that are too distracted by their phones and iPods to realize that a pick-up truck is about to squash them like Mario crushes Goombas. I especially hate people that block my walking lane and are then stuck waiting for traffic to clear anyway.

Scooters, Wheelchairs and Strollers, oh my

These sidewalk vehicles are a necessary evil, but they sure take up a lot of space and I find most people using these items of assistance are often crabby and unfriendly to deal with. If you’re going to take up half the sidewalk, you might as well do it with a smile on your face.

Bikes on the Sidewalk

Unless it’s a young kid, bikes belong on the road. These are the kind of people I would love to just knock over as they pass me. Give them a stiff shoulder check and watch them hilariously fall to the ground and suffer severe concussions. After all, us taxpayers have paid for a trillion and one designated bike lanes, might as well use them!

Vehicles in Crossing Lanes

I’ve always wanted to just walk on top of the hood of a vehicle that has chosen to sit in an intersection, cutting off my route from corner to corner. While I haven’t performed this maneuver yet, I am known to bash cars with my umbrella, if they cut me off in an intersection when I have the right of way and I once (almost) spat at a guy in a convertible after he nearly ran me over. Hey, it’s the little victories that count, right?!

Smokers

Finally, you have your smokers, who aren’t much fun to walk behind, resulting in a face full of second-hand smoke. Try to pass these individuals as soon as possible, so you can enjoy some fresh air with your walkabout.

Drink #122: Sex on the Sidewalk

1 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Melon Liqueur
0.5 oz Chambord
Top with Cranberry Juice
Garnish with Linked Sour Soothers

This drink’s namesake is definitely a walking no-no. While it would make a decent sideshow attraction, all those wayward limbs would certainly slow down your walking progress and the spectacle of the entire obscenity would cause a crowd that would be hard to circumvent. Stay safe out there, my little sippers!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This is a tasty drink that goes down easy, but seems to be missing something. Some fizz may have made it a little more fun and also cut into some of the sweetness, although it’s not overly sweet, either. P.S. Sour Soothers rule!

February 14 – Raspberry Chocolate Love

Posted on February 14, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Love Songs

It’s Valentine’s Day and you know what that means… there’s a 50% chance you’re going to get lucky… best odds of the year! Maybe you’ll want to have some tunes playing to set the mood. Here are my suggestions:

Pony – Ginuwine

This song is all about horseback riding. Wait, that’s not right… it’s all about humping. Seriously, every piece of furniture in your house should be rubbed up on prior to sex, during sex and after sex. Your possessions will thank you later. I also like how the artist was able to squeeze both ‘gin’ and ‘wine’ into his name.

I Hate Everything About You – Three Days Grace

This is Mr. and Mrs. Sip Advisor’s karaoke duet of choice. We’ve even been stopped by other patrons before, commending us for our performance. It’s because these lyrics really speak to us… from the heart, man.

F*ck You Tonight – Notorious B.I.G. (feat. R. Kelly)

Hmmm, featuring R. Kelly… didn’t know watersports was on Biggie’s menu. I bet if I played this to Mrs. Sip, things would not go very well for everybody’s favourite liquor blogger. Besides, she often treats me to dinner and drinks. Maybe she should play this for me… not that I ever take any convincing!

Jizz in My Pants – The Lonely Island

I think the meaning of this song is lost on most women. The guys are just saying they find the women so attractive that they can’t control themselves. How’s that for complimentary and moving feminism forward in leaps and bounds? Well played, boys… well played!

All My Love – Led Zeppelin

If my opinion counts for anything (and trust me, it does not) every musical list is lacking unless it contains some Zeppelin content. How many times do you think a groupie was told this song was specifically for them? Ha, classic!

Drink #45: Raspberry Chocolate Love

Put a layer of Chocolate Syrup at the bottom of your glass
1.5 oz Chocolate Whipped Vodka (I used Pinnacle)
1 oz Chambord
Dash of Lemon Juice
Dash of Simple Syrup
Garnish with a chocolate-filled raspberry

Alright, folks, it’s time to make whoopee (not Goldberg)! Have fun, stay safe, and remember who helped you get your groove on!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
It might be hard to tell in photos, but that’s a Chocolate-filled Raspberry garnishing the drink, which I thought to be a really neat idea. There’s also a layer of the syrup at the bottom of the glass. The Chambord, Lemon Juice and Chocolate Vodka are interesting flavours to be combining.

February 11 – Berried Treasure

Posted on February 11, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Odd Couples

In today’s recipe, Crème de Cacao is combined with lemonade, which may seem like a strange pairing to some. It actually comes together deliciously like peanut butter and chocolate, wine and cheese, and Doritos and porn. The same can’t be said for these mismatched duos:

Flavor Flav & Brigitte Nielsen

What do you get when you throw two recovering addicts together, with the tease of their own reality show spinoff? True love, yo!!! And so we were treated to Strange Love, which chronicled the couple’s relationship, ending when Nielsen decided to return to her fiancé… wait, what!?! She was engaged during the entire charade.

Roger Ebert & Oprah Winfrey

Granted they only went on a couple of dates, before either one had become a household name, but their relationship just seems weird. Ebert did urge Oprah to take her local talk show into syndication, helping her become the high-power, influential brand she’s become since her early days with the movie critic. So now you know you have Ebert to thank for Oprah’s Book Club, among other things that at one time or another, have likely ruined every dude’s life.

Lance Armstrong & Ashley Olsen

One of them used performance enhancing drugs and the other likely should in order to beef up her gaunt, skeleton look. Fifteen-year age gap be damned. At least she’s not dating one of her former parental figures on Full House. Now that would be creepy.

Tom Green & Drew Barrymore

First, you have sweet, innocent Drew Barrymore (Playboy pictorial and history of addictions notwithstanding), member of the Barrymore Hollywood dynasty. Then, you have Canadian Tom Green, who somehow became a cult hit in the late 90’s/early 2000’s with his brand of off-the-wall prank humour. Somehow the crazy kids got together and it was even at a time in Barrymore’s life when she was sober.

Dennis Rodman & Madonna

Perhaps these two weren’t as mismatched as first thought. They’re both bizarre individuals with far-out personalities and they each like wearing coned bras and dresses while dyeing their hair a million different colours. They also have a knack for starring in movies, despite the fact they’re more famous for other professions (he of basketball and she of enormous sexual appetite).

Jesse James & Sandra Bullock

Why these two were ever together is an unexplainable mystery. The fact HE cheated on HER takes the absurdity level of the relationship to a whole ‘nutha level. When you look at the gremlin he cheated on her with, you’re left absolutely flummoxed (remember, I’m trying to bring this word back to the streets). What a scumbag! Plus, he’s not even related to legendary outlaw, Jesse James, as he’s always claimed.

Bert & Ernie

They’re just roommates… quit bugging them about the whole gay thing. Hell, Ernie’s closer to his rubber ducky than he is to Evil Bert.

Drink #42: Berried Treasure

1.5 oz Raspberry Vodka
0.75 oz Crème de Cacao
0.5 oz Chambord
Top with Lemonade
Garnish with lemon wedge

Some say that Mr. and Mrs. Sip are an odd couple. What with her beauty, success and joie de vive. To those people I say, you’re right… but I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
One disappointment with the drink was that the Lemonade mixer wasn’t fizzy, as I had expected it to be. The flavour was still okay, but a little zip would have helped score the cocktail higher.

February 10 – Agave Kiss

Posted on February 10, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

School of Chocolate

Well, my little sippers, it’s the start of Chocolate Drink Week here at The Sip Advisor and as will become customary with these feature weeks, we shall begin with a little education on the subject. So, take your seats and have your duotangs (do you remember those old things?) at the ready. Class begins… NOW!

The only thing you really need to know about chocolate is that women crave it and will kill for it – seriously, you should see the scars I incurred from Mrs. Sip’s wrath, when I once withheld chocolate from her. It wasn’t even a bar she likes. I was in intensive care for two weeks and now have to wear an eye patch and walk with a noticeable limp. Still, I should have known better… at least that’s what she tells me.

Chocolate, of course, is made from the wonderful cocoa bean, which other purposes absolutely don’t matter. ‘God food’ as the Mayans called it can actually increase serotonin and endorphin levels, thereby acting as an anti-depressant. Chocolate is often referred to as an aphrodisiac, but I theorize that women just behave in ways that will get them more chocolate.

Here are some other random choco-tastic factoids:

For the 1982 film E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, producers wanted the alien to follow a trail of M&M’s into Elliot’s home, but the Mars company found the E.T. puppet to be so unattractive and potentially frightening (he is an ugly mook, after all) that they refused to allow their candy to be part of the movie. Reese’s Pieces were used instead and it turned out to be one of the greatest examples of a missed product placement opportunity in a movie ever.

Speaking of M&M’s, on their touring rider, rock band Van Halen always requested that there be no brown M&M’s in their backstage area. Sounds like a petty request… perhaps even racist, but there is actually sound reasoning behind it. The band wanted to ensure that promoters actually took the time to read their lengthy rider (a type-written 53 pages) and if the organizers couldn’t even pay attention to that detail, then other much more important specifics would be overlooked as well. You know, ones that would actually affect their performance. Hopefully the group always got their demanded tube of KY Jelly, without issue.

My touring rider is pretty epic, too, for those looking to book me for personal appearances: I ask for a vat of jello to bathe in, a jar of the finest snorting caviar and a room full of purring kittens, among other desires.

Finally, the world’s largest chocolate bar was made in the United Kingdom in 2011 and weighed over 12,770 pounds, the size of an African elephant. Shhh, don’t tell Mrs. Sip. She’s been looking to plan our next vacation and has always wanted to do a safari tour. I guess you can do those in the U.K.!

Drink #41: Agave Kiss

1 oz Tequila
0.5 oz Crème de Cacao
0.5 oz Chambord
Top with milk
Garnish with raspberries and white chocolate flakes

What would be on your rider, if you had one? How much chocolate do you think a woman could eat before she finally gave up on the delicious mess? I’m dying to know the answers to these questions!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I thought this drink looked and tasted great. Those White Chocolate Shavings came personally from me… see how hard I work for you little sippers!? I knew Chambord and Crème de Cacao would complement each other, but Tequila did its part to behave and not overshadow the recipe.

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