February 13 – Chocolate Martini

VD Cards

No, we’re not talking about handing out cards to let past snuggle buddies know you have venereal disease, this is about showing my love for readers of this blog… the only issue is, like so many couples who find their “match” on Plenty of Fish, have had a few ambiguous dates, and have now progressed to the hourly texting of desperate messages such as “thinking of you” or “booty call? (winky face)”, I’m not sure what our relationship status is. On Facebook, I have it listed as “It’s Complicated,” so I bought a whole bunch of cards and please take whichever you feel applies to our situation.

Are we ‘in like’?:

Heart

Do we have similar tastes?:

Bacon Naps

Are we on-again, off-again?:

It's a card

Are we friends with benefits?:

Butt

Are we passionate lovers?:

Getting Bigger

Maybe we’re just schoolyard pals?:

TMNT

Then I said screw it to the card and I made you this drink… much love!

Drink #44: Chocolate Martini

Chocolate Martini

  • Decorate glass with chocolate syrup spiral
  • 1.5 oz Whipped Chocolate Vodka
  • 1.5 oz Crème de Cacao
  • Top with whip cream
  • Garnish with raspberry and Skor bits

Staff at the Sip Advisor offices should expect to see some of these in their mail slots tomorrow, but only for those that get me a chocolate treat… of the booze variety, of course!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This was my first attempt at doing a Chocolate-Syrup swirl within a martini glass and I think it worked out alright. Everything with the cocktail came together and the Whipped Chocolate Vodka proved itself, once again.

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February 10 – Agave Kiss

School of Chocolate

Well, my little sippers, it’s the start of Chocolate Drink Week here at The Sip Advisor and as will become customary with these feature weeks, we shall begin with a little education on the subject. So, take your seats and have your duotangs (do you remember those old things?) at the ready. Class begins… NOW!

Women Love Chocolate

The only thing you really need to know about chocolate is that women crave it and will kill for it – seriously, you should see the scars I incurred from Mrs. Sip’s wrath, when I once withheld chocolate from her. It wasn’t even a bar she likes. I was in intensive care for two weeks and now have to wear an eye patch and walk with a noticeable limp. Still, I should have known better… at least that’s what she tells me.

Chocolate, of course, is made from the wonderful cocoa bean, which other purposes absolutely don’t matter. ‘God food’ as the Mayans called it can actually increase serotonin and endorphin levels, thereby acting as an anti-depressant. Chocolate is often referred to as an aphrodisiac, but I theorize that women just behave in ways that will get them more chocolate.

Chocolate Love

Here are some other random choco-tastic factoids:

For the 1982 film E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, producers wanted the alien to follow a trail of M&M’s into Elliot’s home, but the Mars company found the E.T. puppet to be so unattractive and potentially frightening (he is an ugly mook, after all) that they refused to allow their candy to be part of the movie. Reese’s Pieces were used instead and it turned out to be one of the greatest examples of a missed product placement opportunity in a movie ever.

Speaking of M&M’s, on their touring rider, rock band Van Halen always requested that there be no brown M&M’s in their backstage area. Sounds like a petty request… perhaps even racist, but there is actually sound reasoning behind it. The band wanted to ensure that promoters actually took the time to read their lengthy rider (a type-written 53 pages) and if the organizers couldn’t even pay attention to that detail, then other much more important specifics would be overlooked as well. You know, ones that would actually affect their performance. Hopefully the group always got their demanded tube of KY Jelly, without issue.

brown_mms

My touring rider is pretty epic, too, for those looking to book me for personal appearances: I ask for a vat of jello to bathe in, a jar of the finest snorting caviar and a room full of purring kittens, among other desires.

Finally, the world’s largest chocolate bar was made in the United Kingdom in 2011 and weighed over 12,770 pounds, the size of an African elephant. Shhh, don’t tell Mrs. Sip. She’s been looking to plan our next vacation and has always wanted to do a safari tour. I guess you can do those in the U.K.!

Drink #41: Agave Kiss

Agave Kiss Drink Recipe

  • 1 oz Tequila
  • 0.5 oz Crème de Cacao
  • 0.5 oz Chambord
  • Top with milk
  • Garnish with raspberries and white chocolate flakes

What would be on your rider, if you had one? How much chocolate do you think a woman could eat before she finally gave up on the delicious mess? I’m dying to know the answers to these questions!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I thought this drink looked and tasted great. Those White Chocolate Shavings came personally from me… see how hard I work for you little sippers!? I knew Chambord and Crème de Cacao would complement each other, but Tequila did its part to behave and not overshadow the recipe.