September 14 – Rainbow Cookie

Posted on September 14, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Milk & Cookies

I am a recovering cookie monster. I still love to stuff my face full of these delicious treats, but as I move towards a healthier lifestyle and hope my body continues to hold up (I am nearing my dirty 30), I’ve drastically decreased my treat intake. That said, it’s nice to reminisce about my favourite confectionary goodies!

Minnie’s Bake Shop Cookies

No trip to the Disney parks is complete without stocking up on these delicious cookies. Mrs. Sip and I share one nearly every day we’re in the park and have been known to buy a bag full of them when we know we won’t be back for some time. If we’re ever asked by a friend or family member if they can get anything for us while they’re on a Disney vacation, we instantly answer: “COOKIES!” Our favourite is the White Chocolate Chip variety, but all of the options are top notch.

Ma Sip’s Cookies

I was raised on wonderful chocolate chip cookies and as I grew older, Ma Sip’s array of baked good treasures only expanded. I’ve enjoyed cookies with peanut butter, caramel chunks, shortbread (a Christmas tradition that’s good to celebrate all year round), and many others. Outside the realm of cookies, Ma Sip has a reputation for making other scrumptious desserts like Black Magic Cupcakes, Seven-Layer Bars, and even Chocolate Chip Banana Bread!

Tim Tams

This wicked treat, which Mrs. Sip and I first experienced in Australia, comes in a ton of styles, with my favourites being the caramel and strawberry brands. Only a couple flavours have made their way to Canada, which leaves us longing for the selection found down under. You can even do a Tim Tam Slam, which involves drinking a warm beverage like coffee, tea, or hot chocolate through the cookie as if it were a straw.

Oreos

Oreos are so classic that they just had to make my list. I like that the company is always experimenting with new limited release flavours… and there have been some doozies!: Candy Corn, Gingerbread, Cool Mint, Strawberry Milkshake, and too many others to name. I remember when eating Oreos as a youngster that it was always fun to go straight for the cream and finished the cookies separately. Playing with my food has always been a favourite pastime.

Girl Guide Cookies

I’m not a huge fan of the thin mint cookies the Girl Guides (Scouts in the U.S.) mistakenly peddle, but if you bring around a box of the classic vanilla and chocolate crème Girl Guide cookies, you just might see that box disappear quickly. I like alternating between the chocolate and vanilla or for extreme thrills, combining the two into one epic cookie sandwich! Money spent on the cookies goes towards supporting the Girl Guides program (from which Mrs. Sip was once a member), so I’m down with that, too.

Cookies &

These were awesome cookie bars that mixed a cookie crunch with popular chocolate bars. I remember there being Twix, Mars, Snickers, Milky Way, and M&M varieties. Sadly, the products have been discontinued, which is a real shame, because I would love to go back and revisit the snacks. This was another item that could only be found in the United States, leaving us Canadian fans in a lurch. It was also distributed in the U.K. as Biscuits &.

Schoolboy

There’s just something about having a slab of milk (or dark) chocolate on top of a biscuit that is so delicious. My money is on the biscuit part, but others tell me I’m crazy and it’s the chocolate. While the name and images on the cookie can get a little creepy and perhaps these are the preferred cookie snack of pedophiles around the world, once you get your mind past that issue, all that’s left is treat enjoyment.

Rainbow Chips Ahoy

The cookie that inspired this shot is a wonderful entry, which is best enjoyed with a quick dunk into a cold glass of milk and then gobbled down with complete disregard to etiquette, cleanliness, and the genocide of cookies everywhere. I enjoy most of the Chips Ahoy products, particularly their Chewy and Chunky varietals. Is it just me, or do all the tastiest words start with ‘Ch’!? Chewy, Chunky, Chocolate, Chips, Cheese… oh, just went and ruined my own theory!

Drink #257: Rainbow Cookie

0.5 oz Amaretto
0.5 oz Chambord
0.5 oz Crème de Cacao
Serve with a Cookie Accompaniment

How have I grossly injustice you by not including your favourite cookie treat? Come on, suckas, give me hell… and in return, I’ll tell you exactly why your precious, beloved snack just didn’t make the cut!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I was curious as to how the shooter would hold up to the cookie of the same name. This shooter gave me a good excuse to crack open our new bottle of Chambord, which provided the primary taste for the shot. The Crème de Cacao and Amaretto offer hints of flavour in the finish, but the Chambord is really what you notice. The cookie chaser was a nice touch, of course!

September 9 – Wipeout

Posted on September 9, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Lightning Round

And we’re back… day two of our tour through the wasteland that has become my mind, as we reminisce about my favoruite game shows from past and present. Let’s spin the wheel, make the deal, and get down to some prize-winning action!

Lingo

This great game show is a little reminiscent of Wheel of Fortune (which will not be on this list because Pat Sajak pisses me off!) with the difference being that people try to guess a five-letter word based off of the first letter and any letters they reveal in their guess gets lit up too. After a team wins the round, they choose numbers out of a bin, trying to make a bingo-type line on their scoreboard to win a round. Fun stuff for all ages!

Chuck Woolery gets his balls played with!

Classic Concentration

This is another game show board game that I had when I was younger and I loved it. Players had to match prize panels to reveal the board underneath and then solve a rebus (pictogram) puzzle to win the game. Playing my home version, I loved collecting all the prizes I could and imaging how awesome my future dream home would be. Puzzle solving? Yeah, I was pretty awesome at that, too!

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego

One of the best things about game shows as a kid is that you could actually learn something while being entertained. It is perhaps thanks to shows like Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? that I realized how useless reading really was! I also learned a lot about geography that has since been washed out of my brain by years of alcohol abuse, but I’ll always have the memories… or not. Long live Rockapella!

Supermarket Sweep

The parody they did of this show on Married with Children was amazing with perennial losers, the Bundy family, lying, cheating, and stealing in their attempt to win $1000 worth of free groceries. There was also a version geared towards kids that involved toy shopping at Toys R’ Us. The show was called Super Toy Run and it allowed children the chance to gather as many action figures, dolls, games, and other gadgets as they could in a five-minute window.

Stump the Schwab

This sports trivia competition pitted contestants against Howie Schwab, a statistician with ESPN who really knew his stats! My only complaint about the show is that it was heavy in American sports stats, but why shouldn’t it be… it was an American show on an American network after all. I tried to play along, but often couldn’t keep up, especially if they delved into college sports.

Legends of the Hidden Temple

I didn’t get to see this show too often because it was a Nickelodeon series, but anytime we were travelling and our hotel had that channel, you can bet Broski Sip and I were trying to track down airings. This show was an early attempt at blending live action and computer animation, making it seem as if kids were in a virtual video game. The show offered some education too, with mythological tales setting up each episode.

Video & Arcade Top 10

A Canadian production that must have been a marketing godsend to video game companies. The show put four players against each other, competing to have the most points or get to the furthest level in whatever video game was being highlighted before time ran out. They also reviewed the top movies and music of the time and offered video game tips. The winner at the end of the competition would get to pull a ball from a bin and take home the corresponding prize.

Wipeout

By now, you little sippers know that I love seeing people take insane falls and this show has them in spades! The humour provided by hosts John Anderson and John Henson is an added bonus and sideline reporter Jill Wagner is a total pleasure for the eyes. Taking a shot at the show opening Qualifier, the prize-awarding Wipeout Zone, or any other obstacle course the show has punished contestants with would be an honour and privilege!

Drink #252: Wipeout

0.75 oz Melon Liqueur (I used Midori)
0.75 oz Amaretto
Top with Lemon-Lime Soda
Garnish with Raspberries and Strawberries

Looking back at all these shows, I see quite clearly that I had a wonderfully entertaining childhood. Sadly, they just don’t really do kids game shows anymore. I know there’s a Wipeout-themed series called Splatalot! out there, but I can’t think of much else that caters to the little ones… and that makes me sad. Have I missed your favourite game show? You know where to find me!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This was a good drink, but it was sweet. I used the Berries on top to emulate the big balls used on Wipeout. This cocktail also provided my first opportunity to use Midori and for long-time readers, you know how much I love melons… and by that I mean the flavour, not the body parts (although I like those too)!

September 5 – Banana Pepper

Posted on September 5, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Crazy Condiments

I’ve recently fallen in love with actual banana peppers (although the drink was quite tasty, too) and I enjoy experimenting with different tastes and combinations on burgers, hot dogs, sandwiches, salads, and nearly everything else I stuff in my mouth. Of course, I’m a fan of all your usual condiments (ketchup, mustard, mayo, etc.), but here are some of the more unique items I love to add to my meals:

Baconnaise

I’d be happy if everything in my life came with bacon on board. Mayo is already a wonderful condiment, but when you combine it with the healing powers of bacon (seriously, bacon is the best known hangover cure), you just can’t go wrong. Baconnaise would be best enjoyed on… anything. It’s that simple of a concept.

Bacon Bits

Sticking with the most delicious meat known to man, I love bacon bits (real or simulated, it doesn’t really matter!) and will toss some on many different meals. They go great on tacos, Caesar salads, poutine, and pizza, among others. I weep for those that do not eat bacon and have spent countless nights lost in prayer for their souls.

Tzatziki

What would Greek food be without Tzatziki? Well, it would still be pretty damn good, but Tzatziki is the icing on the cake… or in this case, the souvlaki, potatoes, rice, Greek salad, calamari, lamb… shall I continue?! Sure, the substance can leave your breath with a long-lasting garlic resonance, but it’s all worth it for the taste.

Oh, I want these so bad!

Chipotle/Southwest/Baja Sauce

This is another dressing that I’ve really gotten into in the last little while. I enjoy a little heat with my food (nothing crazy, because I’m more about flavor than burn) and these spreads are the perfect touch for getting that mild to medium singe. Burritos, in particular, have become an absolute pleasure since these sauces became so popular.

Tartar Sauce

I’ve recently fallen back in love with tartar sauce after a few years of barely being friends. Of course, the stuff perfectly complements fish and chips, but can also be used with other seafood delicacies. I recently realized that I’ve never tried a McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish and that’s something that needs immediate remedying. I’ll report back to you soon!

Olives

I love all types of olives: black ones, green ones, stuffed, pitted. There’s no olive I won’t try. We’ve also become quite enamored of late with tapenades around the Sip Advisor offices. These dips mix chopped olives with a host of other ingredients that can include capers, anchovies, juices, oils, herbs and spices. They’re great on breads and crackers.

Triple O Sauce

I can best describe this as a mayo-ketchup-thousand island hybrid that is so delicious it truly makes the burger. It’s only available at White Spot restaurants, which are largely located throughout B.C., Canada. I had a family member who used to work with the company and legend has it she would bring a massive container of the sauce to family gatherings… sadly, I wasn’t even born yet.

Drink #248: Banana Pepper

1 oz Dark Rum
0.5 oz Crème de Banane
0.5 oz Amaretto
Top with Cola
Garnish with a Banana Slice and a Banana Pepper

I bet you’re thinking to yourself: “Did the Sip Advisor just write an entire post about condiments and sauces?” You’re damn right he just did… now if only they paid me to do this!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This cocktail is advertised as a banana-flavoured Dr. Pepper and on that point, it hits its mark. It’s a pretty decent, if not amazing drink, but one that would be enjoyed by most people.

August 26 – Wedding Cake

Posted on August 26, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

I Thee Wed

Yesterday, Mrs. Sip and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary. With that in mind, I’m reflecting back to our special day last year. Weddings are a funny thing to plan. You put so much energy and effort into one day (a day you’re too busy to enjoy every detail of) and before you know it, the day has passed. I wouldn’t consider myself a wedding coordinator expert and I know every person has their own desires and budget, but for my money, these are the must-haves for your nuptials:

Live Band

While a DJ will get the music job done, I will never regret shelling out a little extra to have a live band at our wedding. Mrs. Sip and I are classic rock fans, so we picked a local band, The BobCats, which specializes in covers of The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, CCR, Van Morrison, and others. We’d seen the guys perform multiple times before and were thrilled when they were available to work our wedding and rock the joint to the early hours of the morning.

These guys were my second choice to play our wedding!

Photographer

This one is pretty obvious and I think very few couples get married nowadays without a professional photographer documenting their special day. Our photos are amazing and will provide instant memories of our wedding as we review them over time. Magnolia Photographic was the perfect choice for our wedding and I’m particularly fond of the stunning shots of Mrs. Sip, who looked drop dead gorgeous that day (and all other days!).

Videographer

When Mrs. Sip and I first started the wedding planning process video was not a priority. Hell, it wasn’t even on the list. Then you start talking to people who fully recommend getting a videographer and you start looking at videos and it suddenly becomes a must-have. We buckled and hired a great little company (RF Weddings) that provided us with an amazing video of highlights from the day. The way they blended song and images together was truly masterful and guests loved watching the same day edit during our reception.

Candy Bar

This was another idea that wasn’t initially on our original list of ideas, but I threw it on the “to do” list last minute after attending a friend’s wedding in Toronto which featured one. Choosing all the candy to put into the bar was a lot of fun, but tracking down containers to display the treats was a little more daunting (we wanted drink-themed glasses like martini and goblet styles). Still, we got it done (thanks to an extra shopping trip by Ma Sip) and the creativity of the friend I put in charge of setting up the station.

This was our actual wedding candy bar… looks pretty sweet, am I right!?

Entertainment during Photos

Mrs. Sip and I didn’t want to kill the buzz of guests between ceremony and reception, when most couples now disappear to do off-site photos with their wedding party. We had a strings band (Musical Occasions) play between the two events, while beverages and snacks were available and we also had a group come out that does magnetic photos of your invitees, which they can take home. On the subject, you also don’t want to force your guests to kill too much time between the ceremony and reception… keep that in mind.

Buffet

Not to take a shot at plate service for dinner, but I prefer buffets, which allow guests to grab exactly what they want, enjoy a variety of options, and eat until they’re about to explode. With all the craziness going down at our wedding, I only managed to load up my plate once and never even got to the dessert edition, although it looked spectacular. The folks at the Shaughnessy Golf & Country Club sure know how to put a spread together.

Limos

It’s your special day and you might as well be travelling in style. Unless you have a cool and unique car for transport, a limo is the best way to achieve this. Ace of Spades Limos worked diligently to get everyone where they needed be when they needed to be there. We used four different limos during the day (one for the bride and bridesmaids, one for the groom and groomsmen, one for the wedding party for photos, and one at the end of the night for the happy couple) and there wasn’t a single issue to deal with.

Hotel

In my books, it just doesn’t seem as special if you go through the whole wedding process, only to return to your normal home that night. Indulge in a little pampering and take off to a nearby hotel. We checked into the Pan Pacific along Vancouver’s waterfront. It was a mch needed respite as it allowed Mrs. Sip and I to get away after the wedding, digest the events of the day together, and enjoy some quality one-on-one time. Couples can also achieve this much needed getaway by immediately leaving for their honeymoon, which is a good way of forgetting all about any post-wedding issues!

Drink #238: Wedding Cake

0.75 oz Gin (I used Tanqueray)
0.75 oz Amaretto
Splash of Pineapple Juice
Splash of Orange Juice
Splash of Milk
Garnish with Wedding Bands (if you got them!)

What are the wedding must-haves that you insist on? Have any issues with my list? Too bad, it’s written in internet stone!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
I already made the Wedding Cake Shot, so now it was time to try the martini edition. There are other versions of this drink, but I wanted to see how all these ingredients would work together. The Gin doesn’t overwhelm the taste buds, which surprised me and nothing is out of place at all with this cocktail. Getting the wedding bands to sit just right for the photo was a pain, but it was one of those ideas I just had to see through.

August 8 – Killer Kool-Aid

Posted on August 8, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Beverage of State

Did you know that a number of American states have an official beverage? That’s right, on top of having state flowers and birds, more than half of the country’s states have gone to the trouble of selecting an official drink as well. While an overwhelming number of those states have taken the easy and politically correct route of naming milk as their bevvy of choice, here are the states that chose to shake things up and ruffle some feathers (of birds… hopefully roughly… stupid birds).

Nebraska – Kool-Aid

Nebraska lamed out a little by also choosing milk as their official beverage, but they did select Kool-Aid as their state soft drink. When I was a little sipper, I knew I was destined for a life of mixology thanks to the experiments I conducted with Kool-Aid. I mixed it with a number of ingredients, searching for the next great recipe. Pepsi and Kool-Aid, or as I called it, Kontaminated Kool-Aid, provided my most favourable results.

Alabama – Conecuh Ridge Whiskey

How awesome would it be to live in a place that’s official drink was freakin’ Whiskey?! I must admit, though, I’m a little surprised that Alabama didn’t go with Moonshine as their most famous liquid offering, but I guess they had to play a little nice with the process. Good on ya, Alabama!

Massachusetts – Cranberry Juice

I guess the fine folks of Massachusetts have some serious urinary issues if they’ve chosen Cranberry Juice as their official drink. Hey, whatever keeps them healthy and happy. Cranberry Juice does factor into a lot of cocktails, so perhaps they were onto something when choosing this mixer.

Florida – Orange Juice

This is a bit of a no-brainer as Florida is renowned for their Orange Juice. I wonder if O.J. Simpson was on hand for the ceremony making the juice the official beverage of the state. This would, of course, be years before his legal troubles, but being born in California he might be partial to that states orange juice history.

Rhode Island – Coffee Milk

Rhode Island wanted to follow suit with much of the country, but also tried to remain unique by picking Coffee Milk. I’m supposing this means much of the state runs around with a caffeine buzz leading to insomnia and a rash of Starbucks popping up to capitalize on the movement. My take on coffee and its subsidiaries can be found here.

Maine – Moxie

Moxie is Maine’s official soft drink and is made with the bitter tasting gentian root extract. While it is Maine’s state soft drink because creator Dr. Augustin Thompson was born in the state, the drink was actually produced in Massachusetts… I smell a blood feud!

Indiana – Water

How boring of a selection is this!? It’s like it didn’t even try! Don’t get me wrong, I love my H2O and whenever I’m not consuming alcohol, I’m downing the clear stuff to balance myself out, but come on… couldn’t they settle on something with even the slightest intrigue? Shame, Indiana… kind of sounds like a cool place to live.

New Hampshire – Apple Cider

An interesting selection, indeed… apparently this decision grew from a student campaign (their teacher wanted to get kids interested in government and show them they have a voice even at their useless age!) and even Facebook page to get the government to make it all official.

South Carolina – State-Grown Tea

I’m assuming this could be used in either hot or iced tea, but perhaps I’d cause an international incident for drinking one and not the other. South Carolina is another state that picked milk as its official beverage, but State-Grown Tea is their State Hospitality Beverage… yes, such a thing exists.

Ohio – Tomato Juice

This kind of reminds me of the Simpsons episode where the town of Shelbyville is forced to worship a turnip tree (once Springfield gets its precious lemon tree back) and the citizens can’t stand eating the vile vegetable. I’m curious as to how many people actually drink the official beverage of their state regularly. P.S.: Tomato Juice is gross!

Drink #220: Killer Kool-Aid

Rim glass with Kool-Aid Powder
1 oz Vodka (I used Grey Goose Cherry Noir)
0.5 oz Melon Liqueur
0.5 oz Amaretto
Top with Cranberry Juice
Splash of Lemon-Lime Soda
Garnish with Lime Wedge

I’m surprised more states haven’t named an official beverage. California could choose wine, given its wonderful wine regions. Washington State could go with Apple Juice thanks to the production industry there. Finally, Michigan could choose motor oil as a nod to being the home of motor vehicle manufacturing.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I have to say that this drink tastes an awful lot like Kool-Aid… plus a little bit of the hard stuff! I used Grey Goose Cherry Noir Vodka, which added a nice flavour with the top shelf spirit and all was well… oh yeah!

July 22 – Cincinnati Lunchbox

Posted on July 22, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Burger Bar

Very few things compliment a tall, cold mug of beer like burgers do. I’ve been privileged to enjoy a number of fine selections. Here are some of my favourites:

Legendary Burger – White Spot

A darling of Western Canada (particularly the province of British Columbia), I can rarely remember a trip to White Spot that didn’t result in ordering this burger. You scan the menu every single time and even contemplate ordering something other than the norm, but you always end up asking for your favourite and you never regret doing so. The secret recipe Triple-O sauce is to die for and should be available to purchase.

Prime Rib Burger – The Keg

Ordered off of its bar menu, most Keg restaurants will allow this to be selected even if you’re in their main dining room, as well. The ones that don’t are listed near the top of my always growing ‘enemy list’. This burger is absolutely fantastic. The seasoning, combined with all the toppings makes for one tasty meal. Take my advice and throw in an extra buck for the bacon. Unbelievably, it’s one of the cheapest items on the restaurant’s menu to boot!

Whopper – Burger King

Flame broiled, yes please! The thing I love best about the Whopper is that it is loaded with toppings. Toppings are essential to any burger enjoyment and the King has read that message loud and clear. I appreciate that the chain has found its way into a number of airports, giving me an opportunity to have a decent meal on the run. Burger King is also one of the few food vendors in movie theatres around my parts, taking advantage of hungry moviegoers.

Big Xtra – McDonalds

Although I can only find this burger (known as the Big N’ Tasty in the U.S.) at Wal-Mart-connected McDonalds, it is worth the trip. In my opinion, all burgers need essential ingredients and this meal covers all the bases. You have your lettuce, tomato, mayo, ketchup, pickles, and onions… all the colours of the rainbow. Perhaps the only thing missing is a couple strips of bacon, but we’ll let that transgression pass.

Big Crunch – KFC

I had to include a chicken burger on this list and the best place in the world for bird meat is hands down KFC. I haven’t had a Big Crunch in a couple years, but just writing this has me craving the delicious 11 secret herbs and spices recipe. A little tip for chicken burger connoisseurs, try dipping your meal in ketchup before each bite, adding another wonderful flavour to the mix.

Kobe Beef Sliders – Milestones

Perhaps the only thing better than one big burger is three mini burgers! Most of my beef selections come sans cheese, but in this case, I’m happy to leave the mozzarella on. The Milestones sliders are topped with crispy onion straws and are accompanied by a delicious sesame mustard sauce for dipping. The appetizer is perfect for sharing and Mrs. Sip and I have been known to gorge ourselves on a couple starters prior to skipping dinner!

Bacon Deluxe – Red Mill Burgers

I learned of Red Mill Burgers watching Man vs. Food, as host Adam Richman toured a selection of restaurants in Seattle, Washington. Thankfully, that means the franchise’s locations are only a two-hour drive away for Mrs. Sip and I. Well worth it, I would say! When we arrived, the line-up for ordering was out the door and it didn’t take long to understand why. Loaded with toppings and the delicious Mill Sauce, I was in burger heaven and I enjoyed the euphoria the entire two-hour trip home!

Drink #203: Cincinnati Lunchbox

1 oz Amaretto
Top with half Orange Juice and half Beer (I used GIB Hefeweizen)
Garnish with Orange Slice

All this talk of burgers has got me really hungry… and all this mentioning of beer has got me really thirsty. Why won’t someone satisfy my needs!? I don’t ask for much. Only to be fed, thirst quenched, and legions of fans who will do my bidding!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Not a bad beer cocktail, but a little sweet and not really memorable… it doesn’t live up to the burgers listed above. I was looking forward to this drink, as Hefeweizen Beers are my favourite, but I think the Orange Juice took over too much.

July 16 – Godfather

Posted on July 16, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Classic Concentration

With today’s classic movie named drink, it’s turned my mind to all the landmark movies I’ve never seen, but really should get around to viewing. I’ve spent way too much time watching repeats of Dumb and Dumber and other movies I could see over and over again, instead of trying some new fare. Here’s my list of flicks I hope to check out at a couch near me soon!

Citizen Kane

Noted by many in the industry (and outside it) as the greatest film ever made, the closest I can say I’ve come to seeing it is the spoof The Simpsons did of the classic, with Mr. Burns searching for his long lost teddy bear. To be honest, I’m not ever really sure what Citizen Kane is about other than a sled called Rosebud… I hope I didn’t give away the ending or anything. Retroactive SPOILER ALERT!

My Fair Lady

Another classic film where my understanding of it comes from parodies. Family Guy did an episode once where Stewie Griffin discovers a young, unpolished English girl and works to civilize her, eventually falling in love with her. Musicals are more Mrs. Sips thing, but I’ll play along providing I’ve had enough to drink and I’m given a little treat at the end of the film… mmmm, chocolate ice cream…

Gone With the Wind

“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn!” If that iconic line wasn’t enough, you also have the performances of Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh. Legend has it that the studio had to campaign hard to use that ending line in the film, despite the fact it comes verbatim from the book. Think about the stuff Hollywood gets away with nowadays and it’s very hard to believe those words were ever an issue.

Schindler’s List

Mrs. Sip picked up a special edition set of this film a number of years back and we have still yet to pop it into the DVD player. After touring a concentration camp in Austria a few years back, it would have been the perfect time to accentuate what we had learned with this movie, but when we got back, life picked up at a hurried pace and we never got around to watching the Oscar winner.

Fritz the Cat

As a lover of adult animated comedy, I should really go back and watch one of the trailblazers in the genre. Fritz the Cat follows the adventures of Fritz, who’s no ordinary kitty. The movie is full of adult situations including drugs, sex and violence. It was the first animated movie to receive an X-rating. A sequel also followed, titled The Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat, which has the feline die at the end of each chapter.

The 10 Commandments

Perhaps I would care and understand more about religion if I watched this film… perhaps I still wouldn’t give a damn. Scratch that, I still won’t give a damn. Hell, I don’t even know what each of the 10 Commandments are. Something about adultery and stealing and neighbours… I don’t know. The movie still seems like a worthwhile watch, though, thanks to Charleston Heston’s iconic portrayal of Moses and a host of other classic actors.

Taxi Driver

The flick that launched the careers of Robert De Niro, Jodie Foster and director Martin Scorcese (and also indirectly resulted in an assassination attempt on US president Ronald Reagan). De Niro’s portrayal of Travis Bickle, a former U.S. marine who suffers a breakdown of sorts, has been cited as one of the greatest performances of all time, leading to John Hinckley, Jr. copying the character’s image and trying to kill the commander-in-chief, with the hopes of impressing Foster.

The Godfather, Part II

While I’ve seen the first Godfather, I have yet to watch the follow-up, which many regard to be the greatest sequel of all time. What will Michael Corleone do next, now that he’s running the show, following the passing of his father? With so many years passing between my viewing of the original film, I feel I’d have to go back and start from square one, but it was a good movie, so I don’t really mind.

Drink #197: Godfather

1.5 oz Scotch (I used Glenfiddich Millenium Vintage)
0.75 oz Amaretto
Garnish with Orange Twist

Well, that’s the list. Which one do you think I’ll get around to watching first? Have I missed anything that should be viewed ahead of all these classics?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
I really liked this night cap and it gave me a perfect chance to bust out our crystal short glasses for the first time with this project. The Amaretto takes the edge off of the Scotch, making for an easy to drink and delicious cocktail. I added an Orange Twist as the garnish because of Marlon Brando’s death scene in the first Godfather.

July 15 – Lay Back and Relax

Posted on July 15, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Panic Attack

We’ve all been there… these incidents come up in our lives and although they are relatively routine, our anxiety level rises, we begin to perspire, and all the crazy worst-case scenarios we can ponder rush through our mind. Then, when it’s all over we let out a light chuckle and wonder why we got so worried in the first place…

Gas Light Comes On

You’ve been watching your gas meter for most of the drive, noticing it incrementally drop as you make your trek. You get your first moment of panic as it drops under the 1/8th notch and continues to fall sharply. Then, the little orange light flashes on and you’re a mess, thinking your car will break down right then and there. Until you find a gas station, especially if you’re in unfamiliar territory, you’re a nervous wreck. When you find a station you race into it, nearly hitting a pedestrian or two (don’t worry, they don’t matter) and you fill your car up like breathing oxygen into a breathless human. All’s well that ends well!

Meeting a Celebrity

Not that I’ve met many in my life, but the few I have (in a non-working, journalistic capacity) have caused me to get super shy and tongue-tied. Broski Sip and I once went to a nearby Walmart to meet wrestler Bret Hart and have him sign his autobiography, which was to be my Christmas gift that year from Broski. As we approached his table, all I could utter was a quick thank you, before we shuffled off. A few months later, I conducted a 15-minute interview over the phone with the grappling legend, without a single star-struck moment.

Splitting the Bill/Calculating Tips

You’re out with friends for dinner or drinks and the bill comes. How should it be split? Who ordered what? How’s everyone paying? I think it’s just all the questions that come up after a bill has been presented that can raise anxiety. I don’t know why tipping gets me a little nervous. I’m a good tipper and many places now give you suggested percentages to tip. If you’re paying electronically, you can let science do all the calculations. We all just need to relax a little.

Getting ID’d

I’ve been legal age in Canada for more than a decade and even in the U.S., for quite some time. I don’t get as apprehensive about it anymore, but when I was in my mid-20’s I got worried every time I was ID’d. Would they accuse me of having fake identification? Not likely. I still get worried sometimes across the border, because they don’t necessarily know what our IDs look like and we have had some incidents where they insist on a passport over our normally adequate driver’s licenses.

Parallel Parking

I absolutely hate parallel parking to the point where I refuse to do it. This can be an issue sometimes, given I live in a downtown core and am often forced to run errands for Mrs. Sip (hmmm, maybe my problem is Mrs. Sip!?) I’m actually a decent parallel parker if I have to do it, but I’ve rarely been forced into the situation, so why risk it when you can usually find a better and more accessible spot with a little patience?

Border Crossing

This one is very similar to getting ID’d. I think it’s just because you don’t know what to expect from a border guard. Will they be friendly, or a total jerk? What questions will they ask you? Even if you haven’t done anything wrong in your entire life, you feel like a border patrol agent will somehow sniff out your one minor transgression. Then, all they ask you is where you’re going and wave you through without incident!

Getting a Haircut

Every time I get a haircut, there’s always a few moments at the start of the job, when you look in the mirror and look so totally ridiculous that thoughts start running through your head about how your luck has finally run out and this will be an awful haircut. I always think, if all else fails I could shave my head (a little ace in the hole for the male sex). Of course, the haircut always turns out well in the end, but for those few moments when you can’t see that the end result will be fine, you’re sweating bullets.

Drink #196: Lay Back and Relax

1 oz Kahlua
1 oz Amaretto
0.5 oz Chambord
Splash of Grand Marnier
Top with Milk
Garnish with Strawberry and Palm Tree Stir Stick

I know I’m not the only one that has a small panic during these moments. Join me in exercising your demons and perhaps you won’t feel so bad about these tasks in the future. Have I missed anything that really makes you anxious? Like Frasier Crane, I’m listening!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I figured this drink would be good and I wasn’t disappointed. It might be a little sweet for some, but that can be solved by dropping the increments of some of the spirits and upping the milk content. A perfect cocktail for dessert.

July 10 – Snickertini

Posted on July 10, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Chocolate on My Mind

Chocolate bars are enticing enough on their own, but a good slogan can really grab your attention and steer you towards that product in particular. Here are some of the best chocolate bar catchphrases:

M&M’s – “Melts in your mouth, not in your hands!”

A great slogan that has also been lampooned in many sexual contexts, as civilization becomes filthier with each passing day. While I’m a Smarties man myself, when it comes to the milk chocolate varieties between the two companies I like that M&M’s has gone on to experiment and make a number of different flavour options. M&M Peanuts and M&M Pretzels have to be among my preferred chocolate adaptations.

Butterfinger – “Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger!”

This catchphrase dates back to when Bart Simpson was the spokesperson for the treat. Commercials usually featured Homer trying to enjoy the chocolate bar, only for things to go tragically wrong for the poor lug. When the contract between the show and Butterfinger was terminated, The Simpsons writers took a few shots at the chocolate bar, including it not being flammable, with Chief Wiggum stating, “Even the fire doesn’t want them.”

Twix – “Two for me, none for you!”

Somehow, Mrs. Sip never got the memo Twix was sending out, as she always thinks the two bars are perfect to split. To that, I say “Only on date nights!” The other 364 days of the year, both bars better be going down my gullet. There’s just something about chocolate, caramel and cookie that work together so perfectly and keep me coming back for more.

Snickers – “Hungry? Why wait?” / “You’re not you when you’re hungry…”

Snickers is one of my favourite chocolate bars (hence the push for today’s martini) and the company has also put out some solid ads. I particularly like the “You’re not you when you’re hungry …” campaign, which has featured Joe Pesci, Bobcat Goldthwait and Robin Williams, among others. I’ve even eaten a Snickers bar with a fork and knife, first shown on Seinfeld… it’s the only way to truly enjoy it!

Kit Kat – “Have a break, have a Kit Kat.” / “Gimme a break!”

According to Mrs. Sip, this is another treat that’s perfect for sharing… just like McDonalds fries, beer, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, etc. She’s a freakin’ mooch is what she is. I get my revenge, though, when I inform her that she is in fact perfect for sharing and if she wants anymore of my god damn Kit Kat, she better be willing to even things up on her end!

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups – “There’s no wrong way to eat a Reese’s!”

I’m pretty sure I could find a couple ways, actually! Did they consider things like eating while upside down, which would certainly a choking risk? How about while swimming, getting chocolate and peanut butter contamination in the pool? On the toilet doesn’t seem very hygienic, either. And I won’t even delve into the dirty part of my mind, which sadly takes up over 80% of me noggin’.

Mars – “A Mars a day helps you work, rest and play.”

It also helps diabetes come visit a little sooner than originally expected! I guess if you’re actually following the work, rest, and play mantra you might be okay with a chocolate bar each day, but wouldn’t you want some variety mixed in there? Granted, Mars is a pretty decent treat, but I wouldn’t want to commit all my resources to one basket. I’m a man of simple, but varied pleasures!

Oh Henry! – “Oh hungry? Oh Henry!”

Nobody knows exactly where the chocolate bar’s name came from, but it has featured in everything from the All in the Family TV series, to being thrown on the field every time slugger Henry Rodriguez hit a homerun. When I am hungry and craving a snack, Oh Henry is one of my desired chocolate bars, thanks to its blend of peanuts, caramel and nougat.

Drink #191: Snickertini

Decorate glass with Caramel Syrup
1.5 oz Vodka
0.5 oz Bailey’s Irish Crème
0.5 oz Chocolate Liqueur
0.5 oz Amaretto
Splash of Milk
Garnish with Snickers Stir Stick

As much as I enjoy chocolate bars, I have to say that drinking them also satisfies my sweet tooth. Give it a shot next time you’re craving a bar and see if it works in quelling the uprising in your stomach!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This martini is decent, but some sips can be strong. The full Snickers bar bumps it up the extra .5 point, even if Mrs. Sip didn’t want me to plunk it into the cocktail. If you’re going to try the Caramel Syrup spiral, make sure you have a bottle of the stuff that can actually get into the glass! Thanks to some improvisation we got something that looked photogenic enough, despite our bottle issue.

July 8 – Bend Me Over Slammer

Posted on July 8, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Drinking Class

Over my years of experience, I’ve noticed that there are many different classes of drinkers. Like a Lord of the Rings quest, you have your wizards, elves, dwarves, and hobbits and together, you all make up a party of sorts. Let’s take a look at who might be travelling with your troupe:

Sippers

The Sipper slowly consume their drinks. They may only have a couple at a gathering, taking their time to work their way through a drink… a drink that is largely ice-diluted by the time they finish. I’m not saying Mama Sip belongs in this category, but Broski Sip and I once humourously watched her gingerly sip at a drink for nearly an hour when we were at a family function in Germany and wanted to get back to our hotel (it was 3am and we had been outside all night with people who mostly only spoke the native language, as fabulous as they all were… we assume). The heartbreaking moment came at the point where she went in for a sip, got distracted by a relative and pulled the drink away from her mouth.

Slammers

The Slammer arrives at a party and goes to work like liquor is a commodity on the brink of extinction. They down a few drinks in quick succession, taking little time to actually enjoy the concoction, be it beer, wine, well drink or anything else. Before you know it, the Slammer is drunk off their ass and looking for a place to nap (in best case scenarios). Don’t get me wrong, the Slammer is fun for those few hours they’re able to join the party, but when they come crashing down, it’s best to send them on their way, find them a bed or at the very least, make sure they know where the vomitorium is.

Guzzlers

The Guzzler seems to always have a drink in his hand. Once one is finished, another is being poured. This is likely the category where your friendly neighbourhood Sip Advisor falls into. It is the alcohol version of a chain smoker… minus the emphysema and cancer.

Complainers

I’m often working hard in The Sip Advisor lab making creations for our friends. Most people enjoy getting to try unique drinks for free that anywhere around where we live would cost $8-$10 minimum. But you get the odd guest who doesn’t necessarily complain about the taste of the drink, but the alcohol content. You make them a single and they say they can’t taste the alcohol. Well, in a perfectly made cocktail, you shouldn’t be overwhelmed by the alcohol. So, I do what any spurned bartender would: double up the alcohol in their next drink. Of course, now they’re complaining that it’s too strong. What do I care, it’s not like I get tipped anyway!

Shooter

A Shooter enjoys their drinks in a similar fashion to the Slammer, but has greater longevity. They drink quickly and often, having a high survival rate. These are the people you want in charge of a function because they can keep their stuff together no matter how many libations they have imbibed in.

Unfinishers

This is the group I like the least. A cardinal rule in the Sip Advisor offices is that no drop of liquor goes wasted. The Unfinisher routinely leaves drinks half consumed… a total waste of precious alcohol and mixer. In my opinion, this should be a punishable offence. And that punishment shall be death by intoxication. Okay, maybe that’s a little harsh. How about they have to go around and finish every single half-downed drink at the party?

The Jekyll & Hyde

This one is quite obvious; it’s the drinker whose personality drastically changes with only a couple drinks: The quiet people who become loud and obnoxious. The tame people who become bold and daring. The people whose language of choice seems to change with each libation. You’ll notice that drinking never really has an opposite effect on Type-A personalities, only Type-B. If a person is already an asshole, drinking will only enhance their assholeness.

Like looking in a mirror!

The Yo-Yo

One drink, one water… slow and steady wins the race. These are the folks who fear hangovers so much that they spend a great deal of time prepping against one. Hey, whatever works for ya. Thankfully, I’m impervious to being hung. Not that I’m opposed to water… I love that shizzle!

One More Drink People

Another section that you could lump the Sip Advisor into. I’m always down with the concept of one for the road. The problem is, myself and my kin never really know when “one for the road” should ever really stop. Does it really matter, though? We’re pretty awesome people… just enjoy our company while it lasts!

Drink #189: Bend Me Over Slammer

1.5 oz Crown Royal Whiskey
1 oz Amaretto
Dash of Sweet & Sour Mix
Top with Club Soda
Garnish with Lime Wedge

Slam that sucker on the table and down it with vim and vigor. So, what kind of drinker are you? No complainers please!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This is the first “slammer” we’ve featured at The Sip Advisor and it’s a fun little drink, despite the mess… and there was quite a bit of mess from the shaking and slamming in an attempt to get some bubbles going. I think the slammer concept is better performed in shot glasses, but I did as the recipe suggested. As far as taste goes, it was nice, but nothing amazing.

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The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

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