Category Archives: Wine Cocktails

March 11 – Death in the Afternoon

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The Green Fairy

Legend has it that Death in the Afternoon was Ernest Hemingway’s preferred absinthe cocktail. So, I decided to give the recipe a try and sure enough, I was transported into a hazy world of absinthe-induced imagery. The infamous Green Fairy was my guide and like Dorothy Gale, I was no longer in Kansas.

It all started with the harsh ringing of an alarm. Was I in danger? My eyes slowly popped open and I realized for the first time that I was in bed… with Adam West (TV’s Batman) standing over me. He explained that the time had come for me to begin my hero life… that dark forces were gathering and that my help would soon be needed to save the world. My first instinct was to go back to bed, but West picked me up by the scruff of my neck (apparently I’m a puppy in this hallucination) and tossed me from the comfort of my blankies.

I could wake up to this, any day!

I could wake up to this, any day!

I followed him into a large boardroom where a buffet breakfast of all my favourites was being served. There was a make-your-own potato chip platter station, prime rib burgers on a nearby barbecue, and a full service bar. I ordered a Death in the Afternoon for some reason… as if I needed delusional Sip Advisor to go into a delirious state, thus enacting some form of inception.

In the boardroom were all my heroes from childhood: Cookie Monster, 1960’s Batman (Adam West had changed during the opening credits – yes, my fantasy had credits, all set to Queen’s ‘We Will Rock You’, naturally) and Robin, Vancouver Canucks legend Trevor Linden, Willy Wonka, Optimus Prime, the professor and Mary Ann, all here on Sip Advisor’s Isle.

Morgan Freeman narrated the entire meeting, where it was revealed that all the baddies in fictional history had pooled their resources in a last ditch attempt to take over the world. I was summoned to defend the planet Inebriatopia, as I had the most experience there.

Upon being teleported to the land, I was immediately attacked by Ben Stiller and his Globo-Gym thugs. As they hurled dodge balls at my precious face, I dodged, ducked, dipped, dived and dodged, but the onslaught kept coming. That is, until Dikembe Mutombo came to my rescue, smacking down every ball thrown our way.

Sure, Mutombo should have been ruled out, according to Rule 9(a) of the Dodgeball Handbook, but this was life or death and I was happy to have the giant on my side. When we were ready, Mutombo and I returned fire of all the balls, one by one eliminating Stiller and his goons. As we celebrated, Mutombo was hit in the face by a ball meant for me. He crumpled to the ground and I tearfully said goodbye to my new friend. The question remained: who had thrown the ball.

After an 18-month investigation headed up by Lt. Columbo, Perry Mason, Matlock and myself, we were informed that the good guys had won and our services were no longer needed. Before snapping out of my delirious state, Mutombo’s assassin was revealed to me by an informant. I bet you’re wondering who it was. Well, I’ll never tell. Or you could scroll down after today’s drink and find the answer…

Drink #70: Death in the Afternoon

Death in the Afternoon

  • 1 oz Absinthe
  • Top with Champagne
  • Garnish with a lemon wedge

The man who balled (sounds kind of dirty) my good friend Dikembe Mutombo was none other than (spoiler alert)… New World Order Hulk Hogan, complete with air guitar, leather weightlifting belt, and black spray paint. Damn you Hogan, damn you!

Hollywood Hogan

 

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Ernest Hemingway’s favourite drink was a decent treat. It’s a pretty simple recipe and my favourite element of it was probably the Lemon Juice, as it added a sweetness to the bitter Absinthe and Champagne.

March 6 – Skinny Miami (The Drink)

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A-MUSE Me

Inspiration can come in many forms. After all, Walt Disney conceived the idea for Disneyland while watching his daughters play at a Southern California playground and realizing that there weren’t many places that offered entertainment both kids and adults could enjoy together.

Disneyland & Walt

For a pseudo-bartender (I only play one on TV), original drink ideas can come from a wide array of avenues.

While perusing Facebook recently, a friend’s status recollected her enjoying a “Skinny Miami” while eating waffles on a hot summer day on her balcony (yes, it actually gets warm in Canada… we’re not all igloos and polar bears). Instinctively, I concluded that this must be some sort of cocktail I hadn’t heard of. After all, the comment thread was started by her kindly promoting this site (which everyone out there should be doing daily!). Being the Sip Advisor that I am, I inquired about the recipe and showcased my enthusiasm to try this new treat, hoping to share it with all of Sip Nation.

The response I received wasn’t exactly what I expected. As other mutual friends made jokes about my comment (as they were in the know) and even Mrs. Sip took a shot at me, saying we’d talk when she got home, the friend in question private messaged me, explaining that her version of a Skinny Miami, was in fact code for the thin guy from Miami she had dated last summer (okay, maybe what they were doing wasn’t exactly dating per se).

Let me tell you, my little sippers, there isn’t much that embarrasses this old dog anymore, but here I was, basically inquiring about drinking… a dude. Boy was my face red… well, more of an auburn-magenta combo.

Embarrassed

I guess, in the end, I wasn’t far off in my assumption that a Skinny Miami was a COCKtail. And the two can have similar effects: loss of inhibition, flushed appearance, short attention span, increased self-confidence, decreased anxiety, blurred vision and all that other good stuff.

On the plus side, this gaffe of mine provided the impetus to come up with a pretty cool drink recipe that was recently tried out and results have so far come back in the positive side of the ledger.

So, if you’re anything like me, don’t be afraid to make silly mistakes. Hell, most great inventions are stumbled upon accidentally. You never know when you’ll come up with your next great idea!

Drink #65: Skinny Miami – The Drink (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

Skinny Miami Drink Recipe

  • Rim glass with Sugar
  • 1 oz Malibu Rum
  • Top with Champagne
  • Dash of Grenadine 
  • Add Coconut Shavings (optional)

As you can see, this drink is served in a long skinny glass (at least six inches tall is preferable or so I’m told), and has a nice warm peachy colour (or flesh-like tone). And as for the white sugar around the rim… a reference to cocaine, clearly. After all, it’s Miami and I’m a huge Don Johnson fan!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This drink actually came together pretty well. I liked how the Grenadine sank to the bottom and gave the cocktail a distinct split mixture look. The Sugar rim was also a nice visual touch, as were the Coconut Shavings at the top of the liquid.

January 11 – Bellini

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The Ballad of Baby Bellini

baby-names

Recently, I was told that Bellini has become an increasingly popular baby name for girls. I sincerely hope that my source of information had merely indulged in one too many of the aforementioned drink.  Sure, there’s an argument to be made that Bellini has a hint of Italian heritage to it – along with a distinct note of peach essence – but come on, you named your kid after an alcoholic beverage. What were you thinking!? Did your friends already lay claim to the new 2013 names of Bellamy, Spartacus, Chrysanthemum and Eyre?… And I really wish I had just made those 2013 names up. but… Google it. Be afraid.

Going back to little baby Bellini, I can just see it now, when the kid asks about her name, her parents can sit her down and tell her, “We named you after the drink mommy got smashed on before we created you.”

Then later on down the road when Bellini is no longer a little girl, but a grown woman, off at the Devry University – or one of those other “schools” that I see advertised when I’m trying to get my Judge Judy on – our young Bellini starts going to the bar and falls prey to anyone going for the easy pick up line: “Hey Bellini, I could have anything at the bar but I only want to order you.” Or, “Hey Bellini, I’m drinking your nectar.” Okay, that one gets a little PG and I’m not really a pick-up line type of guy, but you get the point: poor, poor girl.

And what if her future husband – or wife… or dog (I’m all for equal rights for every being) – gets a headache from drinking too many of the cocktails? Ever have a frozen bellini… those things are basically a brain freeze in a glass. Doesn’t this just open the door for them to blame Bellini for all of their problems?

baby names

I predict that the Bellini’s of the world will likely all become bitter alcoholics, literally drinking themselves to death.

And, if this trend continues, it looks like my kids will be named Tom Collin’s Wilson if it’s a boy and for a girl, let’s call her Manhattan… both of those are actually kind of catchy!

I’ll give the Bellini name one thing… it’s better than Apple (what was Gwyneth Paltrow thinking!?!?)

Drink #11: Bellini

Bellini Drink

  • 1 oz Peach Schnapps
  • Top with Champagne
  • Garnish with a Maraschino cherry

Under the right lighting, the Maraschino cherry can look like a setting sun, a little fireball waiting for you at the end of the cocktail. This was beautifully captured in Mrs. Sip’s wicked photo of the drink.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have to point out that I scheduled the Bellini for this day because we’re celebrating my cousin Erika’s birthday tonight (it was actually last Friday (Jan. 4), but she was away on a Caribbean cruise, the lucky girl). The Bellini is one of her favourite libations, more so in the frozen cocktail version, but I’m sure she’d enjoy one of these, too. She is, after all, a bubbly enthusiast and I raise my glass to her… HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This cocktail wasn’t too bad, even given its high concentration of champagne. I love how the Maraschino Cherry garnish really came to life in the photo.

January 1 – Golden Resolution

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New Year’s Resolutions

Golden Resolution

Most of us make them, most of us break them, and no, I’m not talking about pottery. For 2012, I made a few resolutions and by my own accounting, I only kept to one of them and even that one didn’t come into effect until April when I finally began hitting the gym regularly.

That said, here are my resolutions for 2013:

1) To start this blog. Over the next year, I will share with you, the loyal reader, a drink recipe every day of 2013. Other features will pop up over time and I hope you will enjoy all the content my mind can create. Some things to look forward to: Around the World in 18 Libations, Alcohol Quotes, Movie Reviews with Alcoholic Characters, Saturday Shot Day, What I Learned on my All-Inclusive Vacation, and so much more!

2) To drink less… ah, who are we kidding, resolution number one basically makes resolution two null and void. When picking three things to drop (chips, chocolate and fast food) for my wedding diet, alcohol was the one thing my wife and I agreed would not be on the table. EVER.

3) Finally, the one thing that is on my list every year, thanks to one of Samuel L. Jackson’s appearances on Saturday Night Live: “To continue to kick ass!”

And now, onto the first drink of the 365-day Mixology Challenge: The aptly titled, Golden Resolution

Drink #1: Golden Resolution (A Sip Adivsor Original Recipe)

A wonderful way to bring in the New Year or celebrate a major milestone!

A wonderful way to ring in the New Year or celebrate a major milestone!

  • 1-1.5 oz of gold leaf schnapps (I used Schonbrunner Gold, but Goldschläger or any other brand does the trick)
  • Top with champagne

The key here is to then put your champagne flute under a light source and marvel at how the champagne bubbles push the gold leaf around and sparkle under the illumination.

This drink was suggested to us by a Schnapps manufacturer in Austria and I’ll always remember it, as my now wife and I held onto our bottle of Schonbrunner Gold for four years before finally sharing it with the guests at our engagement party. We all enjoyed the spectacle of floating gold leaf, brought to life by the nearby roaring fire pit and it was a wonderful way to close out the party. This drink finishes my bottle of Schonbrunner, so if anyone wants to get me another, you know where to find me.

Now, take your Golden Resolution, drink or goal, and I wish you all the best in 2013!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This is a very classy drink and if you were judging solely on look and effect it would be a definite 5. I do, however, have to take into account that I’m not a fan of bubbly and therefore not inclined to bubbly-based cocktails. The schnapps is nice because it’s basically flavourless and you have to remember, what glitters is gold!