The Ballad of Baby Bellini
Recently, I was told that Bellini has become an increasingly popular baby name for girls. I sincerely hope that my source of information had merely indulged in one too many of the aforementioned drink. Sure, there’s an argument to be made that Bellini has a hint of Italian heritage to it – along with a distinct note of peach essence – but come on, you named your kid after an alcoholic beverage. What were you thinking!? Did your friends already lay claim to the new 2013 names of Bellamy, Spartacus, Chrysanthemum and Eyre?… And I really wish I had just made those 2013 names up. but… Google it. Be afraid.
Going back to little baby Bellini, I can just see it now, when the kid asks about her name, her parents can sit her down and tell her, “We named you after the drink mommy got smashed on before we created you.”
Then later on down the road when Bellini is no longer a little girl, but a grown woman, off at the Devry University – or one of those other “schools” that I see advertised when I’m trying to get my Judge Judy on – our young Bellini starts going to the bar and falls prey to anyone going for the easy pick up line: “Hey Bellini, I could have anything at the bar but I only want to order you.” Or, “Hey Bellini, I’m drinking your nectar.” Okay, that one gets a little PG and I’m not really a pick-up line type of guy, but you get the point: poor, poor girl.
And what if her future husband – or wife… or dog (I’m all for equal rights for every being) – gets a headache from drinking too many of the cocktails? Ever have a frozen bellini… those things are basically a brain freeze in a glass. Doesn’t this just open the door for them to blame Bellini for all of their problems?
I predict that the Bellini’s of the world will likely all become bitter alcoholics, literally drinking themselves to death.
And, if this trend continues, it looks like my kids will be named Tom Collin’s Wilson if it’s a boy and for a girl, let’s call her Manhattan… both of those are actually kind of catchy!
I’ll give the Bellini name one thing… it’s better than Apple (what was Gwyneth Paltrow thinking!?!?)
Drink #11: Bellini
- 1 oz Peach Schnapps
- Top with Champagne
- Garnish with a Maraschino cherry
Under the right lighting, the Maraschino cherry can look like a setting sun, a little fireball waiting for you at the end of the cocktail. This was beautifully captured in Mrs. Sip’s wicked photo of the drink.
In the interest of full disclosure, I have to point out that I scheduled the Bellini for this day because we’re celebrating my cousin Erika’s birthday tonight (it was actually last Friday (Jan. 4), but she was away on a Caribbean cruise, the lucky girl). The Bellini is one of her favourite libations, more so in the frozen cocktail version, but I’m sure she’d enjoy one of these, too. She is, after all, a bubbly enthusiast and I raise my glass to her… HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This cocktail wasn’t too bad, even given its high concentration of champagne. I love how the Maraschino Cherry garnish really came to life in the photo.