May 5 – Laugh-A-Minute

Posted on May 5, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Laugh Your Ass Off

It’s World Laughter Day and Cinco de Mayo – two great reasons to celebrate! Today seems like a good time to discuss my favourite comedians. These guys have been making me laugh for years and deserve all the praise I can give them.

Christopher Titus

There is only one word to describe Christopher Titus: deranged… well, that or genius! Both really do fit and form the basis of his comedic style. Titus largely uses his own personal experiences in his act: growing up with a strict, alcoholic single father and split family; bad relationships throughout his adulthood; and the notion that in today’s society, to be dysfunctional is normal and the majority.

Lewis Black

The Daily Show correspondent and ranter extraordinaire, Lewis Black, is as funny as he is gruff. His wildness seems to go against the grain of being dressed in a suit and tie, but he makes it all work. There is a nervous energy to Black’s act that keep you totally invested in what he’s saying and trying to figure out which direction he’ll head in next.

Ron White

I love Ron White’s style. He spends most of his set chain smoking and drinking what appears to be scotch or whiskey. After that, ‘Tater Salad’s’ comedy is pretty damn good, too. He is my favourite member of the Blue Collar troupe and his dry, southern style will have you rolling with laughter. He has definitely had some wild times and the stories of his various arrests are a highlight of his act.

Carrot Top

As I’ve written before, Carrot Top’s energy during his performance is astonishing. I’m not sure how many energy drinks he has to down to get to that level, but I appreciate his efforts (and sacrifice). Prop comedy is sometimes frowned upon by purists, but Carrot Top deserves a ton of credit for constantly adapting his act and finding new materials to suit his needs.

Russell Peters

Throwing some Canadian content on the list (although I maintain that we are one of the funniest country’s in the world and have an amazing profile of talented comedians), Russell Peters has turned his “rip on my dad” act into a worldwide sensation. Somebody’s gonna get a hurt!

Emo Philips

The bizarre style of Emo Philips’ comedy isn’t for everyone. Just when you think his joke is going in one direction, Philips completely psyches you out and turns the entire joke upside down. With his odd sense of humor, he can seem quite loveable… just beware of his wild side.

Daniel Tosh

There is no subject that Daniel Tosh won’t rip on. He’s been accused of being racist, sexist, misogynistic, you name it. The only thing I’ve ever indicted him for is being hilarious. When not touring North America, performing his stand-up material, you can see Tosh hosting his Comedy Central smash hit Tosh.0, where he lampoons online videos and social media sites, such as Facebook and Twitter.

Drink #125: Laugh-A-Minute

1 oz Cherry Vodka (I used Grey Goose Cherry Noir)
1 oz Sweet Vermouth
0.5 oz Amaretto
Top with Lemonade
Garnish with Lemon Wedge and Maraschino Cherry

Amazingly (and feeling truly blessed), I’ve been able to see each of these performers live in various parts of North America. Some comics on my “must see” list include Steven Wright, Patton Oswalt, Dave Chappelle, and Louis C.K.

This blog post does not feature comedians who have gone to the great stage in the sky, like George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Rodney Dangerfield, Mitch Hedberg, and Greg Giraldo.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4.5 Sips out of 5):
You’re always doubtful about the varying quality of liquors until you have something as special as Grey Goose Vodka. The Cherry Noir variety was delicious, with almost a hint sour cherry flavour. Throw in Amaretto and you have one of my longtime preferred spirits being paired with one of my new loves.

April 24 – Frostbite

Posted on April 24, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Bangers and Mash

Both Mrs. Sip and I have had the privilege to live in England for some time as part of school exchange programs. She lived two hours south of London, at Herstmonceaux Castle, while I spent a term in Preston, in the Northwest… not a castle. Living in England allowed us ample opportunity to explore the country and have numerous adventures!

Beatles Mania

You can’t walk through much of Liverpool without being reminded of the contributions The Beatles made to the realms of music, style, entertainment, politics, and pop culture. Whether walking through Mathew Street to grab a pint at the infamous Cavern Club, visiting The Beatles Story along the Liverpool docks or hell, flying out of the John Lennon Airport (I’ve done them all!) the band and their aura are always around you.

Old Trafford

Home to the perennial contenders, Manchester United, Old Trafford is a haven for fans of the massively popular football club. I was fortunate to get to see a live game at the legendary stadium and also return later with Broski Sip to enjoy the stadium tour, complete with Manchester United Museum. On the subject of football glory, I should also mention that the National Football Museum was located a short walk from my accommodations in Preston, so I was a frequent visitor!

Lake District

Northwest England’s Lake District provides a beautiful and tranquil opportunity to… chase sheep. Okay, so my journey with Mrs. Sip to the Lake District started out as a chance to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city and see all the beautiful landscapes the area had to offer, but it degenerated into a search for crisps, lager, and wildlife harassment!

Stonehenge

No one knows exactly why it’s there and what its purpose was, but that doesn’t mean they won’t charge you to see the wonder of the world. It was an awe inspiring site to see, to be sure, but on the day I visited, by my lonesome, it was a gusty, drizzly day and all I could really do is rush around the entire façade, snapping quick pictures, before taking refuge in the gift shop.

This might be more impressive than the real landmark!

Alton Towers

This theme park had some really neat attractions over its expansive landscape. I remember being impressed by the Duel: The Haunted House Strikes Back ride where you are given a laser gun and have to shoot various haunted targets as you move through a creepy house aboard a vehicle. This park also featured some of the wildest roller coasters I’ve been on including Nemesis and Oblivion.

Canterbury Tales

Most of us have read these harrowing tales sometime throughout our education. My travels to Canterbury were exhaustive, but it was cool to see the Canterbury Cathedral and also embark on the Canterbury Tales interactive tour. It was a little creepy to walk through these story boards with lifelike characters acting out a few of the tales, while being the only person in the entire attraction. I felt as if it was only a matter of time before the cutout came to life and I became the next unwilling member of the stories.

I was pretty sure these models would end up killing me…

Blackpool Pleasure Beach

The really neat thing about Blackpool Pleasure Beach, was how many of its rides were meant to echo famous Disneyland attractions. As an as-regular-as-possible visitor to the California park, Mrs. Sip and I immediately noticed knockoffs of Space Mountain and Alice in Wonderland. There were also some original offerings at the park, such as the intensely wet Valhalla, fast-paced Steeplechase, and bobsled coaster Avalanche.

Cadbury World

Cadbury is the maker of some of the finest chocolate products on the market, so this little landmark was a must hit while Broski Sip and I were in Birmingham to see Ricky Gervais on his stand-up tour. A highlight of the visit was, of course, the chocolate samples, which provided a great picture of your Sip Advisor with chocolate splash across my mouth and a disgustingly sweet grin!

Drink #114: Frostbite

1 oz Gin (I used Tanqueray)
0.5 oz Blue Curacao
0.5 oz Peppermint Schnapps
Top with Lemon-Lime Soda
Garnish with Lemon Wedge

Now before you go off, wildly packing your bags and booking last minute flights to England, I should remind you of the country’s downsides. Um… well, there’s the… no, I actually like that… oh, just go ahead and don’t forget your neck pillow… it’s going to be a looooong flight!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I’m always cautious when throwing Peppermint Schnapps into any cocktail. It just seems like a liquor that doesn’t necessarily play well with others. On this occasion, though, it made friends for life with all its fellow ingredients and the group could have auditioned for America’s Best Dance Crew with the way they were entertaining my mouth!

April 21 – Gin & Tonic

Posted on April 21, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

GIN-Trification

Throughout this 365 drink-per-day challenge, I’ve tried to avoid recipes that are simply [insert alcohol] and [insert mixer]. It pisses me off when liquor companies run ads promoting recipes for their drinks and they’re so basic. I get it; you don’t have time to list a never ending set of ingredients, but at least give me something a little more substantial. That all said, you simply can’t have Gin Week without making a good ol’ fashioned Gin & Tonic!

Now here are some facts about gin that will surely have you salivating for a cocktail:

The libation was actually created in Holland, not England, where it is often associated thanks to all of the London Dry Gin companies (Beefeater, Gordon’s, Plymouth, etc.). In fact, gin’s name comes from the Dutch word for juniper, jenever. Juniper is a key ingredient in gin production and gives it that pine needle taste.

Gin is meant to be mixed with other ingredients, which help the spirit come to life. I remember shooting gin when I was a lot younger and while it would get you drunk, it was not the tastiest of liquors.

The alcohol was once public enemy #1, as in its earlier years it was often a poisonous blend of ingredients made by cheap distillers. Many poor Londoners died from drinking gin and the death rate was higher than the birth rate in the slums of the city. And we all thought Jack the Ripper was evil.

Keeping gin consistently badass, it was a very popular liquor during Prohibition because it could be manufactured anywhere, like in a bathtub, and didn’t have to be stored or aged in barrels. I bet Ernie and his rubber ducky wouldn’t mind having a soak in a Gin-filled tub… at least I wouldn’t mind. I happen to think I would have done well during the Prohibition Era, whether as a gin joint operator, bootlegger, distiller, etc. Just give me one of those wicked tommy guns and let’s rock!

The Philippines is the world’s largest consumer of gin. The gin & tonic drink is popular in tropical regions because gin was traditionally used to mask the taste of quinine, which happens to be the cure for malaria and is now also the key ingredient in tonic water (get it? hence the name tonic water). Unfortunately, the amount of quinine in tonic water today is so minimal, you would have to drink about 67 G&Ts per day to get enough of the tonic in order to actually prevent malaria.

Gin used to be the main ingredient in many popular cocktails, such as the martini, but thanks to Smirnoff Vodka’s very successful ad campaign “Vodka leaves you breathless”, vodka has often been substituted for gin. Further cocktails have also seen gin removed in favour of other spirits.

Finally, there is some controversy over the garnishing of gin-based drinks, particularly today’s recipe. While most mixologists insist that a lime be used to accentuate a G&T, in some places, such as the United Kingdom, lemon wedges are sometimes substituted. Some experts have attacked this substitution, calling it an “uncultured alternative”. Poor little lemons… what did they ever do to earn so much ire? (except give people canker sores).

Drink #111: Gin & Tonic

Muddle three Lime Wedges
1.5 oz Gin (I used Hendricks)
Top with Tonic Water
Garnish with a Lime Wedge

So, even with a very basic recipe, I found a way to spice it up a little with some muddled lime. I always forget how much I dislike Tonic Water until I make a G&T and then it all comes back to me. Once again, I have sacrificed myself for the good of all Sip Nation!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
This is a solid drink, but I’ve never been a huge fan of tonic water. What helped make the concoction a little more palatable was muddling the lime wedges and leaving them in the drink to counteract against the beyond bitter tonic.

March 27 – Loopberry Splash

Posted on March 27, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

You Will Get Wet

I usually try to theme each day’s post in relation to the featured drink. Today’s subject may be a bit of a stretch, but given the word “loop” and “splash” are there, I wanted to discuss my favourite amusement park rides from around the world. So, let’s secure our personal belongings in the seat front pouch and hold on for dear life!

Crush’s Coaster – Disneyland: Paris

When you combine a kid’s movie with a turbulent rollercoaster, you satisfy all of my needs! This attraction takes guests through the East Australian Current, riding on Crush the surfing turtle’s shell. What starts out as a normal coaster turns (literally) into a very memorable one, when your vehicle begins spinning with the gravity and speed created by the ride track, at one point going into a dark room that gives space mountain a run for its money. Mrs. Sip and I are continually surprised the ride hasn’t been picked up by any of the other Disney parks.

The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man – Universal Studios: Islands of Adventure

This is one of those classic 3-D movie attractions, but with the twist that you move from scene-to-scene in your ride vehicle. You speed, web sling, and plunge through the streets of New York, watching Spidey battle the Sinister Syndicate. Spider-Man rules, so this attraction gets bonus points on that fact alone.

Riddler’s Revenge – Six Flags

I’m not sure why so many attractions are trying to gain revenge on their riders (Montezuma’s Revenge also comes to mind), but this stand-up coaster is a wonderful salute to the Batman franchise and the insanity of Edward Nigma. Highlights of the actions include the pumping techno soundtrack and the vertical loops that wraps around the launch lift.

Jurassic Park – Universal Studios: Hollywood

I never really got the obsession with Jurassic Park until I rode this water ride. Everything starts off all nice and normal as you take a relaxing trip through pens belonging to many herbivore dinos. That all takes a drastic twist when your boat goes off course and you enter raptor cages, with the looming threat of an accidentally released T-Rex. Before you know it, the only route to safety is a dramatic plunge into the cold waters below.

The Four Mountains – Disney Parks

Splash Mountain, Space Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain, and Matterhorn Mountain are some of the original amazing E-ticket attractions to exist and are must hit rides for any visit to the Disney Parks that house them. Without these tracks, so many other advancements in theme park technology would not have been possible.

Ghost Rider – Knott’s Berry Farm

When they warn you not to go on rides if you have back or neck problems, they were probably thinking of this attraction. It’s a classic wooden rollercoaster that spans the parks and even crosses over into the parking lot. The wildest part about it is that you’re constantly ducking your head, thinking that it’s going to get sliced off by the beams above.

Toy Story Mania – Disneyland: California Adventure

The rapid advancements in ride technology are amazing. This attraction brings out the competitive spirit in riders as you compete with your mate and all other guests, in fact, to record the highest score possible. Throw on some 3-D glasses, and shoot at as many targets as possible on the screen in front of you before moving on to the next Midway challenge. Each ride experience is different, providing you don’t mind waiting 40 minutes to an hour in line for this popular attraction!

Valhalla – Blackpool Pleasure Beach

I refuse to buy ponchos for water rides… that totally defeats the purpose. But in this case, as we watched ride attendants vacuum water out of each boat that arrived at the loading zone, we were happy we’d taken the advice to grab a couple. I’ve never been so drenched, in my life… even with the damn poncho. Had it not been a dreary English spring day, we would have rode the ride – which featured a ton of special effects, as well as going backwards in a log flume – again, but as it was, we were already chilled to the bone.

Hollywood Rip, Ride, Rockit – Universal Studios: Florida

Rides that have their own soundtrack are amazing… but how about a ride where you get to pick the song of your choice, which is perfectly edited for the duration of the track. You can pick from rock, rap, country, dance and just about everything else. There are even hidden songs that you can access. That will keep the guests coming back for more, looking for the perfect jam to their experience.

Drink #86: Loopberry Splash

1.5 oz Three Olives Loopy Vodka
Top with half Cranberry Juice and half Ginger Ale
Garnish with Lemon Wedge

While there are many theme parks we have yet to visit, this is a list of some of our favourites thus far. Sadly, I had to leave so many rides I love with all my being off this list. Hopefully I can squeeze them into a future post.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
The final drink in my trilogy of Loopy Vodka recipes was pretty decent. The mix of half Cranberry Juice and half Ginger Ale was good and worked well with the spirit. I should have done more with the garnish, but I guess I got a little lazy.

March 25 – Babbling Brook

Posted on March 25, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Sweet Serenity

Today’s drink had me turn my mind towards serenity. For me, total relaxation can be best achieved with a cocktail in hand, laying on a pool float, the sun beaming down upon me, and the sounds of rock n’ roll filling the air. If the pool was surrounded by naked ladies, well, that would be nirvana. I’ll settle for serenity, though.

Yeah, this is pretty close!

Sure there are other methods to achieving peace within oneself. For example, those CD’s (can you remember compact discs!? They’re only about $5 each in stores nowadays… at least they can double for cheap Frisbees) filled with relaxing, tranquil sounds: ocean waves, babbling brooks, gentle rain, sounds of nature, etc.

Then there’s meditation and yoga. I get that yoga can be a good stretching tool and can help with relaxation, but anyone who thinks yoga is exercise is probably a yoga instructor or form of yoga. I did yoga once and was pretty bored. Perhaps it’s because I hadn’t started drinking yet. I was also waiting for someone to let a fart slip out and when nobody did, the comedy element to the whole thing was missing. Don’t even get me started on hot yoga. If I wanted to sweat, I’d eat a pile of meat and go for a jog. Man that would smell gross.

Speaking of jogging, going for a nice long walk can often clear the mind. This is about half true in my neighbourhood, where you always have to be on a vigil lookout for dog poop, homeless people, idiot’s texting and walking, idiot’s texting and driving, and so many other pedestrian obstacles. Maybe if you live out in the burbs this will work better, but not so much for us city folk.

Mrs. Sip likes to read to relax. She says it allows her to escape into a fantasy world, to which I often reply (with very little success) that I have a few fantasies that we could venture into together. She just doesn’t understand that guys have needs like someone baking chocolate chip cookies for them while they watch Saturday morning cartoons and take frequent cat naps.

I wish this was part of Mrs. Sip’s fantasy collection…

Personally, I think we have to look to our pets for good relaxation techniques. Cats sleep like 30 hours each day. When they’re not passed out, taking up half the couch, despite their tiny frames, they’re usually snuggling up to someone and trying to get a good spot for their next snooze. And we think we’re their master…

In closing, use whatever you think works for you: a cup of hot tea, a trip to the spa, a quiet night in, a bubble bath (the Sip Advisor looks really good all sudsy)… you get the drift. Namaste!

Drink #84: Babbling Brook

1.5 oz Raspberry Vodka (I used Absolut)
0.5 oz Blue Curacao
Top with Sour Mix
Garnish with a Lemon Wedge

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
I liked this cocktail with its sweet and sour taste. The colour of the drink was really neat and I enjoyed the foamy effect produced when shaking the mix.

March 19 – PAMA-Jama

Posted on March 19, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Thunder Shower

We ain’t talking about a weather system… when Mama and Papa Sip were getting hitched, their friends threw them a party where each guest brought a bottle of alcohol for the happy couple to set them up with a nice bar for the start of a new life together (marriage drives a person to alcoholism joke inserted here). Wanting to pass that tradition on, the Parents Sip planned the same party for Mrs. Sip and me, about a month prior to our wedding. This was our Thunder Shower!

Frankly, it was a wonderful break from the daily wedding planning and a chance to gauge where we were at with the guests who would soon be sharing our special day with us.

With the party being Mexican Fiesta-themed (the food included a make your own nachos, tacos and burritos bar – what can I say, Mama and Papa Sip know how to throw a good bash) we were given four bottles of tequila, as well as a couple bottles of margarita mix. Some favourites I’m known for knocking back like Fireball Whiskey, Bacardi Rum, and Smirnoff Vodka were also bequeathed to us.

There were also some new tastes to try, which I’m always happy to oblige. Cousin Sip contributed a bottle of cucumber-infused Hendricks Gin, which I have taken a particular liking to. One set of friends passed along a bottle of Jim Beam Black Cherry Bourbon, as well as a bottle of Cointreau. Mama and Papa Sip gifted us a bottle of Chocolate Whipped Vodka, which quickly became a favourite of Mrs. Sip, whose wine and champagne collection was topped up, too.

All in all, it was a wonderful evening with great food and drinks, good fun with friends and family, and the beginning of our wedding celebration summer.

Why do I bring this event up? Well, for a number of reasons. My forum provides me with another chance to thank all of our guests for their generosity and truly show them how much we appreciated and enjoyed their gifts. Next, because I think every couple should get to enjoy a similar event and finally, because today’s drink features PAMA Pomegranate Liqueur, a bottle we received at our Thunder Shower and although we only recently opened it, the results have been thoroughly enjoyable thus far.

Drink #78: PAMA-Jama

8 Muddled Mint Leaves
1.5 oz PAMA Pomegranate Liqueur
Top with Ginger Ale
Dash of Lemon Juice
Garnish with Lemon Wedge

This has to be one of my favourite drinks of the project to date. I wasn’t sure how much I’d like the liqueur, as I don’t have any recollection of having actually ever eaten a real pomegranate, but once again life proves that as long as alcohol is inside something, it will be enjoyed (or at least consumed). How much did I like the drink? Well, given I’m making at least 365 drinks over the next calendar year, I try not to double up too often. I ended up making three of these for myself and just had to share the recipe with Mrs. Sip. Track it down and give it a shot (literally!). You won’t be disappointed.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (5 Sips out of 5):
A fantastic drink… I can’t say enough good things about this cocktail. It was the first time I busted out my PAMA Pomegranate Liqueur and what a wonderful mix I was treated with to begin my relationship with the spirit!

March 11 – Death in the Afternoon

Posted on March 11, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

The Green Fairy

Legend has it that Death in the Afternoon was Ernest Hemingway’s preferred absinthe cocktail. So, I decided to give the recipe a try and sure enough, I was transported into a hazy world of absinthe-induced imagery. The infamous Green Fairy was my guide and like Dorothy Gale, I was no longer in Kansas.

It all started with the harsh ringing of an alarm. Was I in danger? My eyes slowly popped open and I realized for the first time that I was in bed… with Adam West (TV’s Batman) standing over me. He explained that the time had come for me to begin my hero life… that dark forces were gathering and that my help would soon be needed to save the world. My first instinct was to go back to bed, but West picked me up by the scruff of my neck (apparently I’m a puppy in this hallucination) and tossed me from the comfort of my blankies.

I could wake up to this, any day!

I followed him into a large boardroom where a buffet breakfast of all my favourites was being served. There was a make-your-own potato chip platter station, prime rib burgers on a nearby barbecue, and a full service bar. I ordered a Death in the Afternoon for some reason… as if I needed delusional Sip Advisor to go into a delirious state, thus enacting some form of inception.

In the boardroom were all my heroes from childhood: Cookie Monster, 1960’s Batman (Adam West had changed during the opening credits – yes, my fantasy had credits, all set to Queen’s ‘We Will Rock You’, naturally) and Robin, Vancouver Canucks legend Trevor Linden, Willy Wonka, Optimus Prime, the professor and Mary Ann, all here on Sip Advisor’s Isle.

Morgan Freeman narrated the entire meeting, where it was revealed that all the baddies in fictional history had pooled their resources in a last ditch attempt to take over the world. I was summoned to defend the planet Inebriatopia, as I had the most experience there.

Upon being teleported to the land, I was immediately attacked by Ben Stiller and his Globo-Gym thugs. As they hurled dodge balls at my precious face, I dodged, ducked, dipped, dived and dodged, but the onslaught kept coming. That is, until Dikembe Mutombo came to my rescue, smacking down every ball thrown our way.

Sure, Mutombo should have been ruled out, according to Rule 9(a) of the Dodgeball Handbook, but this was life or death and I was happy to have the giant on my side. When we were ready, Mutombo and I returned fire of all the balls, one by one eliminating Stiller and his goons. As we celebrated, Mutombo was hit in the face by a ball meant for me. He crumpled to the ground and I tearfully said goodbye to my new friend. The question remained: who had thrown the ball.

After an 18-month investigation headed up by Lt. Columbo, Perry Mason, Matlock and myself, we were informed that the good guys had won and our services were no longer needed. Before snapping out of my delirious state, Mutombo’s assassin was revealed to me by an informant. I bet you’re wondering who it was. Well, I’ll never tell. Or you could scroll down after today’s drink and find the answer…

Drink #70: Death in the Afternoon

1 oz Absinthe
Top with Champagne
Garnish with a lemon wedge

The man who balled (sounds kind of dirty) my good friend Dikembe Mutombo was none other than (spoiler alert)… New World Order Hulk Hogan, complete with air guitar, leather weightlifting belt, and black spray paint. Damn you Hogan, damn you!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Ernest Hemingway’s favourite drink was a decent treat. It’s a pretty simple recipe and my favourite element of it was probably the Lemon Juice, as it added a sweetness to the bitter Absinthe and Champagne.

February 28 – Leap Year Cocktail

Posted on February 28, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Leap of Faith

Okay, I know 2013 is not a Leap Year and, in fact, we won’t see one again until 2016, but seeing as I don’t know how long this blog (aka my binge drinking) will keep going, I’m having the Leap Year cocktail now, just to make sure I get it onto the site.

Leap Day (1,096 drinks away, at my current pace) is very unique and we’re not even talking about the extra day in the year jazz. Here are some interesting Leap Day/Year facts:

Women can ask men to marry them on Leap Day – the premise to the crappy 2010 movie Leap Year. Does this mean that all the pressure is on women to pick out the right ring, plan the perfect proposal, and ask the husband to be’s parents for permission?

I wouldn’t mind me a little Sandy Bullock on her knees!

There are approximately 4 million people with birthdays on February 29. Among them, rapper Ja Rule, motivational speaker Tony Robbins and actor Anthony Sabato, Jr. The date also seems to be special for Canadian hockey players, as both Cam Ward and Simon Gagne share this birthday. Cam on Modern Family also enjoys Leap Day as his birthday, preferring to think of himself as 10 years old, when he’s hitting the big 4-0.

These people are called ‘Leaplings’ (is that anything like Lemmings?) and celebrate their birthday on either February 28th or March 1st in non-Leap Years. The chances of someone being born on this rare day are 1 in 1,461.

On the flip side, Davy Jones of The Monkees died on this day last year. Does that mean that he’s stuck in some sort of limbo – with a repeating loop of Daydream Believer constantly playing – because technically the day doesn’t exist?

February 29th also symbolizes Rare Disease Day… good job picking that out… Scientist: “So we’re agreed: we’ll only bring attention to our cause every four years, thus allowing us more time to worry about the stuff that really matters… like HD TV and faster streaming porn.”

Full disclosure: the boy in the picture is me.

Around the world, the Chinese believe that Leap Year babies are difficult to raise and are unlucky, while in Greece, you are advised not only to avoid marrying on February 29th, but throughout the entire Leap Year. And they thought they had trouble with their economic system!

Two separate women have given birth to children on three consecutive leap days. That would really suck. Not only does your birthday only come around once every four years, but when it does, you have to share it with two other siblings. Sir James Wilson, the Premier of Tasmania, Australia was born and died on February 29th. I hope he was a regular lottery player.

The Honor Society of Leap Year Babies exists for people born on February 29th. I tried joining once and when my membership was denied, I lodged a complaint with equal rights activists. The case is still pending.

Most importantly, in 2012 Disneyland and the Magic Kingdom in Disneyworld were open for a full 24 hours on Leap Day. Guess I know where I’m spending February 29th, 2016.

Drink #59: Leap Year Cocktail

2 oz Gin (I used Beefeater)
1 oz Grand Marnier
1 oz Sweet Vermouth
Dash of Lemon Juice
Garnish with lemon wedge

I pushed for having my wedding on Leap Day because then you would only have to celebrate once every four years. Just think of the savings. Although, I guess you would have a pretty big blowout whenever February 29th rolled around. Regardless, Mrs. Sip wanted a summer wedding and you know how it goes: happy wife, happy life… LAME!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I can see why this cocktail is meant to only be enjoyed once every four years. It’s not that special and didn’t blow my mind in any way. The Grand Marnier was the nicest touch among the drink and luckily still came through, despite the other ingredients.

February 20 – Golden Shower

Posted on February 20, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Creative Control

When I first mentioned this drink to ‘The Network’ they wanted me to change the name of it. Well, friends, I absolutely despise censorship. I flat-out refused and then a full scale war between good and evil was initiated. We lost a lot of great men out there on the battlefield, but in the end, we came out triumphant. My blog, my say.

When we returned home from the war, we were lost souls. It was a hard adjustment to make back to civilian life and I felt we weren’t being appreciated for our efforts. Let me give you a little glimpse into my psyche… let’s call it the mind of a maniac.

Censorship is bad mmmkay. There’s no other way to put it. It takes away our freedom of speech and curbs creativity. Worse yet, it makes movies shown on TV completely unwatchable with all the bleeped out language and such. I mean, do we want this place to turn into communist China? (Which, despite its massive population, I note, is one of the few countries I have not received a single hit for this website).

Here are some mind-boggling examples of censorship that actually happened:

When Lucille Ball became pregnant, they incorporated this into her show I Love Lucy, but no characters were allowed to say the word “pregnant,” only “expecting.”
Married couples on TV were not allowed to be shown sharing a bed, instead sleeping in separate twin beds.
Jeannie on I Dream of Jeannie was not allowed to show her belly button and fabric was specifically added to her wardrobe to cut out her midriff.
On Happy Days, Fonzie was only to wear his patented leather jacket in scenes where he was riding his motorcycle (as safety equipment, of course), because otherwise it would make him look like a hoodlum, censors decreed. Therefore, Fonzie always appeared on or near his motorcycle, often leaning on or polishing it.

Ever since my Mortal Kombat game on Super Nintendo lacked blood, while my friend’s on Sega included all the wonderful gore a young child could want, I’ve opposed censors and their inherent need to ruin things for audiences. I vowed, from that moment forward to wage a campaign of intolerance against the intolerants.

A battle that – with the help of the vast and lawless internet and in association with channels like Comedy Central and HBO – I’m happy to say we’re fucking winning! (Yay for titties and foul language!)

It is every person’s right to see full-frontal nudity and scenes of explicit violence, while hearing language that would make a sailor blush. If you don’t like it, don’t watch it, listen to it or buy it… but don’t you dare tell me I can’t enjoy it.

“Oh, what about the children!? Who will protect them?” someone cries in despair. Well folks, it’s called parenting. If you have young ones at home, then every once in a while drag yourself away from watching fine upstanding and moralistic shows such as The Bachelor, Real Housewives, or UFC (of if you are a reader, 50 Shades of Whatever or that other book where kids kill each other) and impart on them some values… if you can remember what those are. Just saying.

And it is my right to make and appreciate a drink called the Golden Shower.

Drink #51: Golden Shower

0.5 oz Tequila
0.5 oz Southern Comfort
0.5 oz Galliano
Splash of Apple Juice
Top with Lemonade
Garnish with a lemon wedge

Nothing tops waking up and enjoying the splendor of a nice Golden Shower… the drink, I mean. Pervert!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
While the drink’s name might throw some people off, it was a wonderful concoction. The best part about mixology is trying different ingredients together that you normally never would. Just look at the listing of alcohols and mixers above, many of which you normally wouldn’t combine. They all work well together here.

February 11 – Berried Treasure

Posted on February 11, 2013 by Daniel Wilson

Odd Couples

In today’s recipe, Crème de Cacao is combined with lemonade, which may seem like a strange pairing to some. It actually comes together deliciously like peanut butter and chocolate, wine and cheese, and Doritos and porn. The same can’t be said for these mismatched duos:

Flavor Flav & Brigitte Nielsen

What do you get when you throw two recovering addicts together, with the tease of their own reality show spinoff? True love, yo!!! And so we were treated to Strange Love, which chronicled the couple’s relationship, ending when Nielsen decided to return to her fiancé… wait, what!?! She was engaged during the entire charade.

Roger Ebert & Oprah Winfrey

Granted they only went on a couple of dates, before either one had become a household name, but their relationship just seems weird. Ebert did urge Oprah to take her local talk show into syndication, helping her become the high-power, influential brand she’s become since her early days with the movie critic. So now you know you have Ebert to thank for Oprah’s Book Club, among other things that at one time or another, have likely ruined every dude’s life.

Lance Armstrong & Ashley Olsen

One of them used performance enhancing drugs and the other likely should in order to beef up her gaunt, skeleton look. Fifteen-year age gap be damned. At least she’s not dating one of her former parental figures on Full House. Now that would be creepy.

Tom Green & Drew Barrymore

First, you have sweet, innocent Drew Barrymore (Playboy pictorial and history of addictions notwithstanding), member of the Barrymore Hollywood dynasty. Then, you have Canadian Tom Green, who somehow became a cult hit in the late 90’s/early 2000’s with his brand of off-the-wall prank humour. Somehow the crazy kids got together and it was even at a time in Barrymore’s life when she was sober.

Dennis Rodman & Madonna

Perhaps these two weren’t as mismatched as first thought. They’re both bizarre individuals with far-out personalities and they each like wearing coned bras and dresses while dyeing their hair a million different colours. They also have a knack for starring in movies, despite the fact they’re more famous for other professions (he of basketball and she of enormous sexual appetite).

Jesse James & Sandra Bullock

Why these two were ever together is an unexplainable mystery. The fact HE cheated on HER takes the absurdity level of the relationship to a whole ‘nutha level. When you look at the gremlin he cheated on her with, you’re left absolutely flummoxed (remember, I’m trying to bring this word back to the streets). What a scumbag! Plus, he’s not even related to legendary outlaw, Jesse James, as he’s always claimed.

Bert & Ernie

They’re just roommates… quit bugging them about the whole gay thing. Hell, Ernie’s closer to his rubber ducky than he is to Evil Bert.

Drink #42: Berried Treasure

1.5 oz Raspberry Vodka
0.75 oz Crème de Cacao
0.5 oz Chambord
Top with Lemonade
Garnish with lemon wedge

Some say that Mr. and Mrs. Sip are an odd couple. What with her beauty, success and joie de vive. To those people I say, you’re right… but I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
One disappointment with the drink was that the Lemonade mixer wasn’t fizzy, as I had expected it to be. The flavour was still okay, but a little zip would have helped score the cocktail higher.

Sip Advisor

The Good, The Bad & The Bubbly

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