October 12 – Churros

Donuts Around the World

We all know your typical donut offerings: your rounds, jelly-filled, long johns, etc., but the world is in fact full of variations on the classic pastry. I know what you’re saying “There can’t seriously be that many different styles of donuts!” If that’s your opinion, stand back and prepare to be amazed (as you usually are) by the Sip Advisor’s investigative skills… ahem, and a quick shout out to Wikipedia!

Churro (Mexico) – Every time Mrs. Sip and I are in Disneyland we have to share at least one churro. While you might shell out $3-$5 for a single churro at the fair or amusement park, in Mexico, we picked up an entire bag of the cinnamon sugar-laced dessert sticks for about the same price.

Churros

Beaver Tail (Canada) – Once again, Canada puts itself on the map with culinary items that come the closest to sexual innuendos! The Beaver Tail, in this case, is actually a flat, rounded donut that you can layer various toppings onto. A company has grown out of this invention and offers some great options.

Timbits (Canada) – One of the country’s most popular dessert offerings is the Timbit (known is other locales as a donut hole), which allows snackers to still have some doughy goodness, but not be forced to inhale an entire donut. My favourite Timbit is undoubtedly the chocolate glazed offering.

Fritter (Various) – A fritter basically means (according to my research) and mass of dough that can be stuffed with any substance. That’s not the technical definition, but I think you get the point. Fritters can be stuffed with everything from meat to seafood to fruit.

Cruller (Europe) – While popular in the United States and Canada, crullers originated in Europe and their name is derived from the Dutch word cruller, which means “to curl”. These twisted donuts can come in round or stick form.

Cat Donuts

Ngàuhleisōu (China) – Otherwise known as Ox-Tongue Pastry or Horse-Ear Pastry, these flattened discs are probably more appetizing than they sound. The Ngàuhleisōu can be filled or topped with either sweet or savory filling. Given it’s China, who knows what could be in the donut!

Loukoumas (Greece) – The figure eight of the donut world! I believe Mrs. Sip and I tried one of these bad boys when we visited Greece in 2007… you know, before the country went down the crapper.

Beignets (France) – Similar to a fritter, this French treat is quite popular in Louisiana, where the Creole lifestyle has kept many Parisian traditions alive and well. Mrs. Sip enjoyed beignets when she was in New Orleans recently. The donuts are often topped with piles of powdered sugar and can also feature jams and sauces.

Berliner (Germany) – Filled with various jams, these are the original jelly donuts. Apparently, it’s a common practical joke for berliners packed with mustard to be placed among normal jam-filled berliners, waiting for a victim to take a bite. Oh, those crazy Krauts!

Donut-Seeds

Taiyaki (Japan) – Why not follow your sushi with these fish-shaped donuts. This dessert is more similar to a pancake or waffle in batter style and can be filled with anything, including custard, chocolate, cheese, gyoza, or sausage.

Bear Claw (United States) – Traditional bear claws are commonly made with almond paste and raisins. Since nobody likes things to just be ‘traditional’ anymore, bear claws now also come in apple pie, butter pecan, cream cheese, and various fruit stylings.

Funnel Cake (United States) – Mmmm, I love having funnel cake at American amusement parks. The only thing you have to watch out for is getting powdered sugar all over yourself. Like eating lobster, funnel cakes should come with their own bibs!

Funnel Cake

Elephant Ears (United States) – Colloquially known as a palmier, the elephant ear is a puff pastry which uses dough similar to a croissant. I only wish poachers would spend their time baking these treats rather than killing elephants for their tusks.

Angel Wings (Poland) – These sweet and crispy pastries are enjoyed throughout Europe. A tradition exists of husbands giving angel wings to their wives on Friday the 13th to stave off bad luck… sadly, most of those women snub the snack in favour of negative mojo because they’re counting their calories.

Éclair (France) – The custard-filled, icing-covered pastry is a French delicacy, but not being a huge fan of custard, I think I’d rather just have a Long John!

Drink #285: Churros (A Sip Advisor Original Recipe)

Churros Shooter

  • Rim glass with Cinnamon Sugar
  • 0.75 oz Glazed Donut Liqueur
  • 0.75 oz Goldschlager
  • Garnish with a Donut Hole

Every time I think I can’t come up with another article about donuts, in order to support my recipes featuring the Glazed Donut Liqueur, I go and amaze myself with the method and madness my brain is capable of. Next up: the Jelly Donut shooter and post. Let the brainstorming begin!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I originally made this shot, on a whim, for Mrs. Sip and myself. When it passed the taste test, I knew it was eventually going up on the site. The ingredients do emulate a Churro or other cinnamon sugar-based donut and the garnish was a nice little treat to chase the shooter.

September 21 – What’s My Name Again?

30 for 30

While the title of today’s post is shared by the popular ESPN sports documentary series, I’m using it to describe 30 great achievements of my 30 years on this planet. This is kind of my bucket list of crossed off items… mission accomplished!

Family and Friends

1: Got Engaged – I’m still surprised she said yes!

2: Got Married – Again, I’m still surprised she said yes… I gave her a year and a half to change her mind!

funny-marriage

3: Was a Best Man – Broski Sip got married in 2010 with me by his side.

4: Planned a Stag Party – Nothing says “I love you, man” than planning the perfect sendoff as your buddy enters married life.

Rites of Passage

5: Earned a Driver’s License – Been on the roads for 14 years now… Mrs. Sip still doesn’t have a full license!

6: Graduated High School – Some people didn’t see that coming!

High School Graduate

7: Earned 4 Diplomas/Degrees/Certificates – I have quite the resume… anyone looking to hire!?

8: No More Picky Eater – Chicken strips and fries are pretty awesome, but lobster and escargot are better.

9: Moved Out – It was hard to leave the amazing home of Ma and Pa Sip, but living with Mrs. Sip has its own benefits!

Travel

10: Travelled to 34 Countries – Mrs. Sip will hit 50 countries before she turns 30, but I think I still made a pretty damn good dent.

11: Stepped foot on 6 Continents – I’m only missing Antarctica, which we hope to get to one day.

12: Lived Abroad – Spent six months living in England and travelling Europe.

studying-abroad

13: Visited the Greatest Cities in the World – From London to St. Petersburg, Sydney to Los Angeles, the resume isn’t full yet, but I’ve been to so many cool places.

Academics

14: Made the Honour Roll – Got my shit together one year and made the honour roll twice… it never happened again.

15: Graduated with Honours – Always knew journalism and I were a match made in heaven!

Professional

16: Became Published – My first article ever (aside from online and school writing) was for B.C. Hockey Now.

17: Covered the Vancouver Canucks (NHL) and B.C. Lions (CFL) – The two biggest sports franchises in Vancouver and I got to watch both for free!

Journalism

18: Worked the 2010 Winter Olympics – NBC Universal Sports hired me for the Games, a goal of mine when I first entered journalism school.

19: Made Money Doing What I Love – Watching sports for a job just doesn’t get much better… perhaps getting paid to have sex!?

20: Started The Sip Advisor – I was thirsty (literally!) for a new project when Mrs. Sip suggested The Sip Advisor. Here we are and I’m pretty sure everyone is having a good time!

Adventure/Crazy

21: Tried a Number of Extreme Sports – Bungy jumping, ziplining, zorbing, luging, surfing, scuba diving… I’ve tried them all!

22: Saw my Favourite Comedians Perform – From Christopher Titus to Daniel Tosh, I’ve seen all of the living comedians I ever wanted to.

23: Won Money in Las Vegas – I’m too cautious to lose or win a lot of money, but I did come home up on one trip and that’s more than a lot of people can say.

Stays in Vegas

24: Won Money at the Races – My last trip to Fraser Downs resulted in six winning bets on nine races, including picking three winners straight up!

25: Hosted an Annual Event – My annual Beer Pong tournament is a highlight of the summer social calendar.

26: Invented a Word – Walk Blocking – like cock blocking, but everyone can do it!

27: Became an Internet Sensation – And the journey has only just begun!

28: Swam Across a Body of Water – I joined Mrs. Sip for a crossing of the water outside our lodge in Indian Arm, B.C. It took us 45 minutes round trip to make the journey.

29: Shot a Gun – Cousin Sip and I hit one of the many ranges in Las Vegas to help cross this off the list.

30: Sang Karaoke – Not well, but Mrs. Sip and I do perform a rocking version of ‘I Hate Everything About You’!

Drink #264: What’s My Name Again?

Sept 21

  • 0.3 oz Spiced Rum (I used Kraken)
  • 0.3 oz Southern Comfort
  • 0.3 oz Peach Schnapps
  • 0.3 oz Goldschlager
  • 0.3 oz Vodka
  • Garnish with a Lemon Slice

There are still so many things left to do (get a tattoo, touch a snake, go skydiving, drink motor oil!) that the next 30 years should be just as adventurous as the first 30. Any suggestions!?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
This shot finishes Rum Week and the story goes that if you have enough of these, you’ll forget your own name! While it is a rather potent shooter, it’s also very tasty, helped along by the Peach Schnapps, Southern Comfort, and Goldschlager. I’ll have to try their little dare sometime and see how long it takes for the ol’ mind to go blank! Let’s drink to my successes and excesses!

May 9 – Kryptonite

Kryptonite Crunch

The definition of kryptonite (aside from being a very potent strain of marijuana) is something or someone that makes you weak, powerless, and can even kill you. The concept, of course, comes from the Superman franchise, as the Man of Steel is practically invincible, unless he comes into contact with kryptonite from his home planet of Krypton. Wow, I really nerded out there… and I don’t even like Superman in any way, shape, or form. Here is a shortlist of my kryptonites:

Non-Alcoholic Beer/Mocktails

This would probably kill me. I just don’t get the concept, especially in the case of beer. While some mocktails might still be palatable because of the drink’s ingredients, beer is an acquired taste, so why would you waste your time with the non-alcoholic variety? None of the really good tasting beer flavours are made in the 0.5% form, only plain, ordinary and non-delicious beer types.

mocktail

Safety Drills

I’m pretty sure these will inevitably kill me. While I understand the logic behind these instructional processes, all they do for me is to encourage me to misbehave and to engage in risky actions. I’m a curious person (also naughty by nature) and when I’m told what will happen in the case of an emergency, I want to test these theories and hypotheses. It doesn’t matter whether it’s aboard an airplane or cruise ship, the term “this is not a drill” will likely be heard.

Streamers and Confetti

One of my biggest weaknesses. When streamers and confetti are shot through the air, I’m like a cat chasing a string. I’m completely mesmerized and fixated on the falling debris. I want to catch it all with my paws… er, hands… and put them in my mouth. Seriously, if I had my very own confetti gun, I’d be the happiest and laziest person in the known world. Either that, or like Eddie Murphy, I just want to party all the time!

Fresh-Baked Cookies

There’s just something about the scent of fresh-baked cookies that make me powerless. I don’t even need milk to become a ravenous zombie. I’m not picky, either. They can be chocolate chip, peanut butter, even oatmeal raisins… they all drive me crazy. Until I can get a couple dozen into my stomach I will not be able to think about anything else… not that there’s anything important going on upstairs, anyway.

cookie kitty

Forced Reading

Another thing that would surely kill me. In my opinion, all reading is forced, but what I’m really talking about is when you have no other choice but to do some hardcore reviewing: contracts, textbooks, etc. When you’re the type of person who doesn’t read by choice, it’s even harder when the task arises and you’re rushed to do so. This is why I’m letting Mrs. Sip head up the education of any of our future little sippers.

Hyphenated Surnames

I’m pretty sure hyphenated surnames will eventually lead to the downfall of mankind (kryptonite of the masses). Before our wedding, Mrs. Sip and I had to discuss whether she was going to take my name or not. That’s when I discovered how much I don’t like hyphenated names, never giving it much thought before. Just imagine how long people’s last names will grow to be if two folks with hyphenated last names end up marrying and hyphenate their already hyphenated monikers. You’ll have a four-name long last name and it could snowball from there with later generations jumping to eight and 16 last names.

Drink #129: Kryptonite

Kryptonite Drink

  • Rim glass with Lime Powder
  • 0.5 oz Rum
  • 0.5 oz Tequila
  • 0.5 oz Goldschlager
  • 0.5 oz Jagermeister
  • Top with Lemon-Lime Kool-Aid

What is your kryptonite? What takes a member of Sip Nation and drives them to acts of stupidity, which they can’t even control. I’m very curious about this subject, partly because I don’t want to be the only person who has no willpower and partly because if I know everyone’s weakness, I can rule the world!

Sip Advisor’s Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
It was a bit of a flashback for me to be using Kool-Aid. One of the very first drinks I ever invented when I was younger and not boozing it up was mixing Kool-Aid and Cola, which I dubbed Kontaminated Kool-Aid. See, I always had mad mixology skills! I like today’s drink quite a bit. It’s probably my favourite Goldschlager cocktail to date and you get varying tastes of it and the Jagermeister. The green Kool-Aid is an interesting touch compared to other mixers with similar effects.

March 16 – Dead Man Walking

Last Rites

If you were on your death bed (sweet lady liquor forbid), what would you say? Here are some of the best last words I’ve been able to find, as inspiration for my own prepared statement:

famous-last-words

“One last drink, please?” – Jack Daniel, famous whiskeyteer

The living legend just wanted one last taste of his own whiskey. Unfortunately the wonderful JD Honey Whiskey hadn’t been made yet, as that would certainly have sent him off on the right note. Daniel died from blood poisoning after a toe infection from kicking his safe when he couldn’t remember the combination. Ironically, as told on tours of his distillery, had he dipped his toe in his patented whiskey, he likely would have survived.

“Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here.” – Nostradamus, prediction master

Talk about calling your shot. A pretty ballsy move to say the least. If he had lived even two more days, he would have gone down in history as a sketchy heretic, only correct with a percentage of his forecasts. As it stands, Nostradamus is revered because he was even able to foretell his own demise.

“Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’!” – James French, insane murderer

Mr. French shouted this to press members and other witnesses to his execution. I gotta admit, it’s a pretty funny line, but it really shows just how psychotic the dude was. I guess you have to give him some style points, but his landing was a little botched.

“Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around!” – Carl Panzram, serial killer

Death row inmates are lucky in that their final words will always be recorded. Once again, though, this guy proved his head really belonged in the noose. What did he have against Hoosiers anyway… that’s a good movie.

When I die I want my last words to be...

“No, you certainly can’t.” – John F. Kennedy, El Presidente

This was President Kennedy’s reply to Nellie Connally, the wife of Texas Governor John Connally, when she stated, “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President.” I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more ironic outcome.

“I should have asked for a stunt double!” – Vic Morrow, unlucky actor

Morrow was killed while filming an elaborate stunt scene for Twilight Zone: The Movie, when a helicopter crashed and tragically decapitated himself and a child actor, while also crushing another child. Sadly, Morrow thought his statement was just a joke, but instead it came true.

“I should never have switched from scotch to martinis.” – Humphey Bogart, actor extraordinaire

It is scientifically proven that scotch keeps you alive longer than martinis… ol’ Bogie here might have been onto something. I think the key is to continue drinking both and then you have all options covered!

Drink #75: Dead Man Walking

Dead Man Walking Absinthe Shooter

I’ve decided that my final words – I’ve always been a planner – will be: “This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on, my friends…” and then I’ll just keep singing and living forever, only taking breaks to down another cocktail. Not a bad plan, eh!?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
The Absinthe Week shot was supposed to be something different, but on the fly I switched to this recipe and it was pretty good. The name is perfect to match the taste and Mrs. Sip caught a perfect photo of the gold flakes within the shooter.

March 3 – Goldfinger

Trivia Time

This cocktail could be honouring anything from the legendary King Midas, a sexual euphemism or anything in between. I’m going to assume (making an ass out of you and me… it’s what I do best) it’s a tribute to the James Bond book and film of the same name. So, let’s look at some trivia on the subject.

In nearly every scene that he appears in, villain Auric Goldfinger wears yellow or gold items of clothing. In one scene he is seen donning a US Army uniform, but is carrying the famous golden gun.

Advisor’s Take: So, Goldfinger basically dresses like a Richard Simmons/Rod Roddy cross… oh man, that’s a scary sight… but scary as in one of those car wreck type deals, where you can’t look away and want to see the carnage. Although that golden gun in the video games kills with only one bullet. No need for headshots here, just shoot them in the foot and the game gives the victim instant gangrene, which results in a quick death.

Richard Simmons ROD RODDY

The Goldfinger movie marked the first time an Aston Martin vehicle was used by James Bond. The car and character are now synonymous with one another. The company was originally reluctant to provide the production with two of their vehicles, but after the success of the movie, which translated into great business for the vehicle manufacturer, the company was more than willing for future sequels to provide anything the producers were looking for.

Advisor’s Take: I’ve never really been a car guy, so I don’t bust a nut over the vehicles in this movie or any other film. The only driving experience I’d like to enjoy in my life is being in a convertible, while driving along a winding beach, with dark shades on and feeling the wind run through my hair… that or rocking a monster truck through the streets of a bustling downtown core, running over everything from smart cars, to people who walk while texting, to the little designer dogs that cover the streets with poop.

The name Pussy Galore was almost changed to Kitty Galore, in order to appease censors, but producers were allowed to continue with the original name, as long as it did not appear on promotional material for the film. Actress Honor Blackman, who played the titular (literally) character enjoyed embarrassing her interviewers during press junkets by repeatedly saying the name.

Advisor’s Take: Sounds like my kind of girl, talking all dirty. Such outlandish names like Pussy Galore in the Bond franchise has led to some great monikers in spy spoofs. Of course, there was the Austin Powers trilogy, which featured names like Alotta Fagina, Ivana Humpalot, Fook Mi and Fook Yu, and Dixie Normous. My favourite occurred in an American Dad episode lampooning the spy genre, as Francine became Sexpun Tocome. I kind of wish Pussy Galore had remained Kitty Galore, and instead of her team of Flying Circus pilots she had a menagerie of cats whose offensive array included napping on people to subdue them and killing birds and mice that could later be used as projectiles.

Pussy Galore

This was the first movie appearance for a laser beam, as seen when Goldfinger has Bond strapped to a table, on the verge of being snuffed out. In the book, a spinning buzzsaw is inching closer to Bond, rather than a laser beam, but producers felt this gag was no longer original.

Adviser’s Take: If a buzzsaw worked for Dudley Do-Right cartoons and 1960’s live action Batman episodes, it could have also worked here. Funnily enough, now the whole laser beam thing seems unoriginal. The times they are a changing. If I ever have a hero at my mercy, I would finish them off with the dreaded purple nurple. If left untreated, the purple nurple can turn into a deadly blood clot, causing nausea, seizures, and eventual organ failure. I’m not a doctor, but I play one on the internet.

The role of Goldfinger’s minion, Odd Job was given to former Olympic medalist and professional wrestler Toshiyuki “Harold” Sakata. Another wrestler, Milton Reid, who had played a henchman in Dr. No, wanted the Odd Job role and challenged Sakata to a match with the winner getting the part. Producers decided that wasn’t necessary, since Reid’s character had been killed off in Dr. No and the match never took place. Reid later appeared as baddie Sandor in The Spy Who Loved Me over a decade later.

Advisor’s Take: I think all movie roles should be decided in the wrestling ring. Can you imagine Keanu Reeves battling Will Smith (turned the part down) for the role of Neo in The Matrix series? Or the catfights that would occur when any of Hollywood’s leading ladies battled over a character? The Oscars could become Tinsletown’s version of WrestleMania, complete with a stacked card of bouts. Put it on pay-per-view and I bet the viewers would tune in. If you build it, they will come.

Okay, that’s enough trivia for today. Alex Trebek I am not. Unless he’s a boozehound too!

Drink #62: Goldfinger

Goldfinger Martini

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
Sadly, this drink disappointed in presentation, as it was hard to see any of the Goldschlager in the martini. The cocktail tasted great and even looked awesome, but the gold flakes disappeared and that was sad.

January 1 – Golden Resolution

New Year’s Resolutions

Golden Resolution

Most of us make them, most of us break them, and no, I’m not talking about pottery. For 2012, I made a few resolutions and by my own accounting, I only kept to one of them and even that one didn’t come into effect until April when I finally began hitting the gym regularly.

That said, here are my resolutions for 2013:

1) To start this blog. Over the next year, I will share with you, the loyal reader, a drink recipe every day of 2013. Other features will pop up over time and I hope you will enjoy all the content my mind can create. Some things to look forward to: Around the World in 18 Libations, Alcohol Quotes, Movie Reviews with Alcoholic Characters, Saturday Shot Day, What I Learned on my All-Inclusive Vacation, and so much more!

2) To drink less… ah, who are we kidding, resolution number one basically makes resolution two null and void. When picking three things to drop (chips, chocolate and fast food) for my wedding diet, alcohol was the one thing my wife and I agreed would not be on the table. EVER.

3) Finally, the one thing that is on my list every year, thanks to one of Samuel L. Jackson’s appearances on Saturday Night Live: “To continue to kick ass!”

And now, onto the first drink of the 365-day Mixology Challenge: The aptly titled, Golden Resolution

Drink #1: Golden Resolution (A Sip Adivsor Original Recipe)

A wonderful way to bring in the New Year or celebrate a major milestone!

A wonderful way to ring in the New Year or celebrate a major milestone!

  • 1-1.5 oz of gold leaf schnapps (I used Schonbrunner Gold, but Goldschläger or any other brand does the trick)
  • Top with champagne

The key here is to then put your champagne flute under a light source and marvel at how the champagne bubbles push the gold leaf around and sparkle under the illumination.

This drink was suggested to us by a Schnapps manufacturer in Austria and I’ll always remember it, as my now wife and I held onto our bottle of Schonbrunner Gold for four years before finally sharing it with the guests at our engagement party. We all enjoyed the spectacle of floating gold leaf, brought to life by the nearby roaring fire pit and it was a wonderful way to close out the party. This drink finishes my bottle of Schonbrunner, so if anyone wants to get me another, you know where to find me.

Now, take your Golden Resolution, drink or goal, and I wish you all the best in 2013!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This is a very classy drink and if you were judging solely on look and effect it would be a definite 5. I do, however, have to take into account that I’m not a fan of bubbly and therefore not inclined to bubbly-based cocktails. The schnapps is nice because it’s basically flavourless and you have to remember, what glitters is gold!