October 10 – Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic

Cocktail Creations

There are some pretty interesting fictional cocktails out their in media land. I vow to try each and every one of them eventually. Here’s what made it to the top of the wishlist!

Flaming Homer/Moe – The Simpsons

When Homer Simpson is stuck at home with his terrible step-sisters and not a drop of beer to be found, he panics and puts together a cocktail made of all the booze he has left, accidentally adding some children’s cough medicine to the mix. Ash from one of his step-sister’s cigarettes lights the concoction on fire and makes it taste amazing. When Homer shares the recipe with bartender Moe Szyslak, Moe steals the drink and markets it as a Flaming Moe, gaining fame and fortune until Homer reveals the secret ingredient as revenge.

Flaming-Moe

The Flaming Moe is actually served at Universal Studios: Florida… another reason to go back to that amazing park!

Screaming Viking – Cheers

When Cheers has one bartender too many, the regulars want to keep Woody Boyd on the job over newcomer Wayne. When Wayne bets his job against being able to make any drink ordered, the Cheers gang makes up this cocktail on the fly in order to throw Wayne off. Of course, it’s pretty hard to replicate a recipe that doesn’t exist. The drink has since been produced by a couple of bars with varying recipes. Unless it’s served while you’re saddled up between Norm Peterson and Cliff Clavin, it just wouldn’t feel right.

Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster – The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Invented by Zaphod Beeblebrox, the drink is described as “the alcoholic equivalent of a mugging – expensive and bad for the head” and it “is like having your brain smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick”. The drink has been created in reality for stage productions of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and at bars around the world. Suggested recipes I was able to find largely just throw a ton of different boozes into the mix.

Green Russian – Archer

Absinthe and milk… a winning combination? Just think about it, you get your daily calcium nourishment, as well as an elixir meant to make you trip balls. This potent cocktail is the invention of Pam Poovey, director of human resources at the ISIS spy agency. Pam can often be seen walking around bars with her own personal booze chilling units, so it’s no surprise she is a liquor hound. She will even pour absinthe directly into a carton of milk! There are other Green Russian recipes available online, but I think Pam was on the right track with her rendition.

green-russians

Kidney Killer – American Dad

Francine Smith was once a hard-partying girl along with her partner in crime Kelly Wilk. When Kelly comes back into Francine’s life, the two try to recreate their wild times, with Haley Smith insisting she can keep up with the women. Haley drinks the fabled Kidney Killer and winds up in need of a kidney that Francine can’t offer, herself a victim of the booze. There is a Kidney Killer recipe on the internet. It combines tequila and Southern Comfort into a shot glass. The jury’s out as to how many you need to drink to actually kill your kidney!

Thankstini – How I Met Your Mother

This martini of vodka, cranberry juice and a bouillion cube is perfect for celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday. It’s like having a home-cooked family meal in a cocktail glass. Inventor Barney Stinson has provided me with the perfect libation for upcoming Thanksgiving celebrations. All that’s missing is the turkey, potatoes and stuffing, but I’m working on it. Stinson also has drink suggestions for Christmas, Arbor Day, Independence Day, and Ramadan!

Drink #283: Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic

Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic Drink Recipe

  • 1.5 oz Vodka (I used Smirnoff Blueberry)
  • 1 oz Southern Comfort
  • Top with half Orange Juice and half Sweet & Sour Mix
  • Splash of Grenadine
  • Garnish with Berries

Look forward to future posts about fictional companies, restaurants, sports teams, sodas, and just about anything else this old, battered mind can think up!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
Sadly, the tonic didn’t send Mrs. Sip and myself into the throes of passion (as it worked in the cartoon… let down by TV once again!). Despite that small discrepancy, this drink was pretty good. All the citrus and berry notes were very enjoyable and the liquors did their jobs, as well.

August 6 – The Three Ladies

All the Right Moves

I wish I had the skills these dudes have at making women swoon for them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no slouch, but it’s not like I can ever claim to have bedded three girls in the same movie or dated a menagerie of playmates all at the same time. I have, however, been named ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ by People Magazine, so I got that going for me! Here are the world’s finest Ladies Men:

Leon Phelps, The Ladies’ Man

The Saturday Night Live sketch character was always known to be surrounded by beautiful ladies, a roaring fire, and his snifter filled with Courvoisier Cognac (today’s featured alcohol). In this setting, the Ladies’ Man often waxed philosophical about how to treat a lady and efficiently get them into bed with you. While some question his techniques, the man speaks from experience.

Leon Phelps

James Bond

When not saving the world from a megalomaniac baddie, Double-0-7 can usually be found between the sheets with any number of beautiful women. His trysts never last long though, as his interest turns on him, is killed by a henchman or villain, or simply disappears with the beginning of a new mission and adventure. All that lovin’ and he doesn’t have to deal with any emotional mess… lucky bastard!

Austin Powers

The ‘International Man of Mystery’, Austin Powers, uses his mojo to shag just as many women as his inspiration, James Bond. While chasing down the diabolical Dr. Evil, Powers’ escapades present him with ample opportunity to work his magic on the fairer sex. His laundry list of bedmates includes Vanessa Kensington, Felicity Shagwell, and Foxxy Cleopatra. Best of all, he’s been able to land ladies across decades thanks to being frozen and his time travel exploits.

George Clooney

Cloontang was named People Magazine’s ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ in both 1997 and 2006, as well as TV Guide’s ‘Sexiest Star of All-Time,’ and the perennial bachelor has dated an endless list of the world’s most attractive women. From former wrestling personality Stacy Keibler to the future Mrs. John Travolta (Kelly Preston), Clooney has wooed them all.

george_clooney

Not sure if this falls under the ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ category!

Barney Stinson

Barney Stinson knows all the tricks in the book (he even wrote a couple guides) to make women fall for him instantly. Neil Patrick Harris gained the role thanks to playing a greatly exaggerated version of himself in the Harold and Kumar series of movies. Ironically, the Stinson womanizing character is a total contrast to NPH’s real life, where he is a monogamous gay man.

Val Venis

Wrestling’s most notable ladies’ man burst onto the scene in 1998 and quickly made a reputation for himself, wooing a number of fellow wrestler’s wives, girlfriends, valets, and even a rival’s sister. The porn star character would then make films with these girls, sending his opponents into a rage long before they met in the ring. An attempted castration of Venis was even attempted after he stole the wife of Mr. Yamaguchi. Yes, this actually happened on live TV!

Venis

Yes, there was actually a castration scene in professional wrestling…

Sterling Archer

Despite being a total dick, Archer has a way with the ladies. Perhaps it’s because he’s completely, 100% awesome! How can you not fall in love with a guy who drinks as much as he does and still functions at a secret agent level of ability? Sure he’s a little rough around the edges, but women are always looking for a fixer-upper and in Archer, you have the best of all worlds.

Hugh Hefner

The media magnate responsible for Playboy magazine has led a storied life full of beautiful women, often finding himself being shared by multiple females at the same time… and they’re usually girls that could be his great granddaughter! He’s currently married to a young lass 60 years his junior. Every guy dreams of hanging out at the Playboy Mansion grotto, surrounded by a bevy of lovely ladies and we have ol’ Hef to thank for that.

Drink #218: The Three Ladies

Aug 6

  • 1 oz Courvoisier Cognac
  • 0.5 oz Triple Sec
  • Splash of Lemon Juice
  • Splash of Club Soda
  • Dash of Simple Syrup
  • Dash of Angostura Bitters
  • Garnish with Lime Wedges and Mint Leaves

We’ve all learned a lot from these individuals and it’s time to put our knowledge to the test. Oh, Mrs. Sip, where are you? It’s time to play! Now where could she be hiding? Until next time…

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
There’s not much to this cocktail, but it still manages to be refreshing and flavourful, while remaining light. The Cognac comes through nicely for a fine finish.