September 7 – Jelly Bean

Meme-orization

Today marks drink #250 and as we’ve done every time we hit the half-century mark, the Sip Advisor presents to you a smattering of hilarious alcohol-fueled memes!

burn-the-beer-schlitz-ad

Some people will never be good cooks, but so long as there’s beer nearby, men and women alike will never go without sustenance. There’s nothing wrong with the odd liquid dinner. I’d say I go liquid only four to five times a week. I do follow that up, though, with a dessert of burgers, hot dogs, and pizza, so everything works out in the end!

drunk on patios

Is there a better place to drink than on a patio? Well, perhaps in your underwear on your favourite couch, but patios are a close second! Mrs. Sip and I love to find a nice little spot where we can be one with the outdoors, while sharing good times with friends, family, and liquor. That’s about as outdoorsy as we get, preferring all the comforts the indoors have to offer.

Don't Judge

One day, when the world goes to hell (even more so than it already has), there will be an epic battle between the forces of good and evil. On one side, will be all us boozers. On the other side, will be the people who think so highly of themselves that they look down upon all the people that are actually enjoying life. The winners will inherit the earth and providing we’re not too busy nursing a hangover, my money is on us!

beersign

I’ve found my short-term memory to be absolutely horrible lately. Whether that is the result of age or all the drinking I do… where was I going with this!? In all seriousness, I’m not too worried about my short term memory being unreliable. As long as I can remember all the important stuff, like my name and such, I don’t necessarily see a reason for all that other junk.

Liquor Shopping

This is a fantastic question Mr. Dinosaur. This is something we could debate for hours on end (and I look forward to our next conversation) but ultimately, the results are the same. Regardless of where you are, you’re going to spend stupidly on things you technically don’t need, but they’ll be a pleasure to have while it’s there!

Red Solo Cup

Red Solo Cups are perhaps the greatest party tool ever invented. I never really knew that they were designed to give users an idea of measurements until I saw this meme and that makes them all the more amazing. What if you used the cup to make a layered drink of each listed alcohol and filled it to the proper line. A beer, wine, liquor combo. I’m going to have to give that a try sometime!

Drink #250: Jelly Bean

Jelly Bean Shot

  • Rim glass with Jelly Beans
  • 0.5 oz Southern Comfort
  • 0.5 oz Sambuca
  • 0.5 oz Blackcurrant Liqueur

250 drinks is quite the milestone. Have you enjoyed the ride so far?

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
The shooter actually does taste like a Jelly Bean, so that was a pleasant surprise. If you don’t have a Blackberry or Blackcurrant Liqueur, you can always sub Grenadine in its place. The Jelly Bean rim was a bit of a pain to put together because I wasn’t able to pick up the exact Jelly Beans I had envisioned for this shot, but it came together well enough, with the assistance of Mrs. Sip!

July 25 – Boilermaker

Beer… The Musical!

There are countless songs out there that could have made this beer playlist, but all you little sippers know that I strive to provide you with the pinnacle of entertainment and in doing so, I can’t include everything. Therefore, I present to you, songs you can get blotto to, the beer edition!

The Beer Song – ‘Weird’ Al Yankovic

Might as well get started with a little humour. I’ve always enjoyed Weird Al, having grown up on the parodist’s work. So long as he isn’t performing one of his polka numbers, I’m down with giving his tracks a chance. The best line of the song has to be “Beer is liquid bread it’s good for you, We like to drink till we spew,” which would have been appreciated even more by adolescent Sip Advisor!

Red Solo Cup – Toby Keith

While not solely used for beer consumption, red Solo cups figure heavily into beer pong and the downing of suds during many a barbecue and party. The song is performed by country star and boozehound Toby Keith, who has so many tracks involving alcohol that he should be the patron saint of all country and liquor fans.

Friends in Low Places – Garth Brooks

“Where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away”… a Garth Brooks classic that somehow became the anthem of my and Mrs. Sip’s wedding… regardless of the live band that played some amazing classic rock covers. This song is perfect for everything from camping to parties, to apparently even the exchange of nuptials. And trust me, we all have friends in low places… our wedding proved that fact!

One Bourboun, One Scotch, One Beer – George Thorogood

I’m not a fan of story songs and this one runs a little long, but the message is what it’s all about. The dude is having a tough day and all he wants is one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer. What’s wrong with that? He’s even drinking them in the proper order of liquor before beer and you’re in the clear. I personally think any beer drinking occasion should begin with this process, to honour Mr. ‘Bad to the Bone’!

Beer Drinkers and Hell Raisers – ZZ Top

Leave it to the wise, beardly ZZ Top boys to slam brews and raise hell. I could see myself totally getting bad ass to this song… which in my realm means slamming a bunch of beers and doing stupid stuff in and around Ma and Pa Sip’s pool. This is a really good tune for anyone that hasn’t heard it before and will probably be my theme music for future beer pong tournaments (I host one every year!).

In Heaven There is No Beer – Soggy Bottom Boys

Well, if this is true, it’s very disheartening. We work our entire lives to be good and virtuous, with the hopes it will get us entry through the pearly gates and into a land of paradise. If we get there and no beer is to be found, well I for one will be one grumpy Sip Advisor. I’m sure much of Sip Nation would feel the same. That’s when we rebel and burn the place down. I bet they serve iced cold ones in hell!

Warm Beer and Cold Women – Tom Waits

Continuing with our downward trend, these could quite possibly be two of the worst things known to humans. Thankfully, for myself, Mrs. Sip is a freakin’ furnace and warm suds have never really been a concern for me, thanks to my great ability to plan and organize beer refrigeration ahead of my arrival. It’s like I’m a god damn celebrity up in here!

99 Bottles of Beer – Everyone Ever

This is probably a good one to end the list with, as it shows just exactly how low we’ve regressed thanks to the pyramid of beer cans we’ve built. Our beer-amid is a gift to the world, more meaningful than the Statue of Liberty, Eiffel Tower, and Leaning Tower of Pisa combined. This tune could take us a little while to get through, so why don’t we just say we did it and head off to bed for that wonderful drunk and delirious sleep we all crave!

Drink #206: Boilermaker

Boilermaker Beer Cocktail

  • 1.5 oz Tequila (I used Hornitos)
  • Top with Beer
  • Garnish with Lime Wedge

Hit repeat on Red Solo Cup, drop that Tequila shot into your mug of beer, and slam that sucka!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
What can you say about a shot of Tequila in a Beer that hasn’t already been said? This cocktail packs a punch, but personally, it’s one I’d line up for to get knocked out!