Mrs. Sip’s Last Meal

After publishing what would be included in my last meal (if I were so lucky as to get to make such choices), I thought it might be fun to try and prepare a similar feast for Mrs. Sip. My muse had no input prior to when I asked for her involvement, where she will mark my work in each section. Let the fun begin:

Mains (3):

Quesabirria Tacos – Mrs. Sip and I first had quesabirria at a craft brewery in Boston and it blew our minds. It has since become a favourite dish of Mrs. Sip, typically consumed at amusement parks and drinking events.

Lobster… completely deshelled by anyone else! – Mrs. Sip is a lobster connoisseur, so long as she doesn’t have to do the dirty work. Perhaps she can use the meat to compile another preferred meal of hers, a lobster roll.

Eggs Benny with bacon instead of ham – Mrs. Sip is such a fan of brunch, I believe it’s her favourite meal of the day. While she doesn’t typically stray too far from the traditional serving of the dish, she always subs bacon for ham where possible.

It was fairly easy to put together Mrs. Sip’s main courses. While other contenders were considered, such as a plain cheeseburger from McDonald’s, the only fast food Mrs. Sip likes; pepperoni pizza, with stuffed crust and light on the sauce; and an Indian dish like butter chicken or palak paneer, complete with garlic naan; the three items I chose are above and beyond preferences of hers.

Mrs. Sip’s Mark: 4.75 – Very well done! I would only add melted butter and a glass of dry white are lobster meal necessities. Aaannnnd Ma Sip’s cornflake breaded chicken and cheesy hash browns would be a serious contender (you should definitely learn to make it!). I had to deduct 0.25 for not mentioning how the Quesabirria Tacos should be fried in crispy cheese for maximum delciousness!

Sides (4):

Charcuterie Platter with LOTS OF CHEESE!!! – Cheese and crackers… you’re basically describing Mrs. Sip’s teenage diet. Add some other nibblies, such as some cured meats, as well as dark chocolate and nuts to mix things up, and she has everything she needs to pair with one of her preferred beverage choices below.

Seven-Layer Dip with Chips – Mrs. Sip loves her some tortilla chips and her preferred dip to dunk those chips into has seven layers of goodness. I recently made the mistake of picking up what I thought was a seven-layer dip, but was merely a ‘Fiesta Dip’. I paid dearly for those missing couple of layers.

Seafood Chowder – In our many travels around the world, Mrs. Sip has enjoyed a number of chowders. This includes visits to Dublin, San Francisco, Boston, Disneyland, Halifax, etc.

Caprese Salad – Providing the ingredients are fresh, such as they are in Europe, this is Mrs. Sip’s favourite salad.

This was perhaps the most challenging segment of this exercise, with many dishes worthy of consideration. I wanted to use one slot simply for bread, as Mrs. Sip loves that being included prior to meals, however I felt the four appies I chose better reflected a meal worthy of consumption. Other notable sides that were left off, included Chicken McNuggets with sweet and sour sauce, a baked potato with all the fixings, nachos, cornbread, and cheesy bread.

Mrs. Sip’s Mark: 4.0 – This is pretty well done and would likely change on any given day. I think I would sub out charcuterie for a really good garlic cheese bread, but this is dependent on just how much good wine is on hand. Also, is there truffle burrata and red wine cheddar on the board? Hmmm, hard choice!  Burrata for the caprese and a breadbowl for the chowder, and those sides sound just about right! However, I would take the appie-sized butternut squash ravioli from Cactus Club as my number one side!

Snacks (2):

Popcorn – A childhood favourite treat for Mrs. Sip (which she passed onto the Siplings) has remained a preferred snack during movies, sporting events and amusement park visits.

Beef Jerky/Pepperoni Sticks – Another ingredient of her younger years, Mrs. Sip will often pick up one of these products from the impulse buy area of store checkouts.

Another easy section to compile for the lady of the house!

Mrs. Sip’s Mark: 4.75 – Don’t forget the popcorn needs to be drowning in real butter!!!

Desserts (3):

Ice Cream Cake – Mrs. Sip loves ice cream cake, with Dairy Queen novelties regularly being served for her birthdays and other milestones. Another version she enjoys is the Billy Miner Pie offered by The Keg restaurant chain. She even likes this indulgent dessert, despite its coffee flavour.

Crème Brûlée – I have watched Mrs. Sip eat many servings of crème brûlée, as it is not among my own likes. Perhaps that’s why she orders it, eliminating the need to share. Either way, Mrs. Sip especially enjoys the burnt top of this meal finisher.

Cookie Dough – Sometimes, the cookies don’t even get baked, as Mrs. Sip (not unlike other females) has been known to consume the dough straight from whatever device it has been cased in. Warning labels be damned, sometimes stuff is better raw.

This was another difficult section to fill out, as Mrs. Sip likes a number of sweet treats. I almost included a Nanaimo Bar to completely troll my love, who as a youngster once feasted on too many at a family party and ended up getting sick. She hasn’t touched one since. Notable omissions, included scones with clotted cream and jam, as well as chocolate fondue.

Mrs. Sip’s Mark: 4.95 – I think this is pretty accurate. I may replace Creme Brûlée with salted chocolate caramels from Purdy’s, but I’m really not sure myself when it comes down to it.

Beverages (2):

White Wine – Regardless of grape (chardonnay, pinot grigio/gris or even bubbly), Mrs. Sip loves her wine, preferably sipped in a beautiful vineyard.

London Fog Chai Tea Latte – This is practically a daily treat for Mrs. Sip. I’ve picked up so many for her or driven her to get one over our many years together that I have second-hand London Fog issues.

Another fairly easy category to curate for Mrs. Sip. Narrowly missing the cut here were drinks such as Horchata and a Mai Tai cocktail.

Mrs. Sip’s Mark: 2.75 – 0.25 deducted for calling a London Fog a CHAI tea latte. Tsk, tsk. Chai lattes are good, London Fogs are better. I would also just accept a cup of Double Cream of Earl Grey (with a splash of milk). HOWEVER -2.0 for “regardless of grape!?” Sir, you did NOT!!! Now I’m not deducting full points as I assume the slip was omitting the word “dry”. Then you would be correct, as I like any good dry white wine varietal. But if someone had brought me a Moscato or Gertz for my last meal, I would probably have just cried into my cup. Make those corrections and this was 5/5.

Rusty Rail

  • 1 oz Scotch
  • 1 oz Fernie Fog Liqueur
  • Garnish with Dark Chocolate

For this article’s beverage, I wanted to incorporate the Fernie Fog Liqueur Mrs. Sip bought me, as the flavours replicate an Earl Grey Tea taste. I also made sure to use the bottle of Scoth Mrs. Sip one at a whiskey tasting a few years back. Top it off with a chunk of dark chocolate, a callback to the charcuterie board mentioned above and you have a cocktail made for a queen!

July 13 – Cement Mixer

Gross Gastronomy

Today I’ll be examining the foods I don’t like to eat. Because if I don’t like to eat them, neither should you, right? I draw inspiration from today’s shot, which while it tasted well enough, is actually intended to curdle in your mouth (needless to say, the texture isn’t what I would define as “pleasant”). When I was just a little sipper, I was a very picky eater. Thankfully, I evolved and now there’s basically nothing I won’t try… except these deplorable substances:

Cheese

I’ve made some peace with my old enemy. I’m okay with most melted options and have recently expanded to try the odd non-melted offering, but in general, I have a hate-on for the stuff that seems to make girls melt (especially if you mention “cheese” and “wine” in the same sentence). It was hard growing up not liking cheese because rather like the mold in my bathtub, it was everywhere (that’s right, Mrs. Sip is slacking on her household chores again!). It wasn’t until my teens when I realized I could control the stuff by asking for sans fromage.

cheese and woman

No one told me my cheese could come like this!

Sour Crème

Ironically, my favourite types of chips usually fall under the sour crème and [insert ingredient here – onion, bacon, etc.] category, but I can’t stand sour crème on its own or even on nachos or in dips. Perhaps it’s because I’m a diehard supporter of ranch dressing and have just found a better substitute for sour crème in my growth as an eater. One day, they will build statues in my honour grasping a ranch dressing bottle!

Yogurt

You must be getting the impression that I don’t like dairy, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I just don’t like the taste of yogurt in the slightest. It’s made from bacteria and it tastes just like that. I won’t even kiss Mrs. Sip if she’s recently consumed some and trust me, she’s on to that fact and uses it as a repellant to my advances. But just like the persistent mosquito, I eventually get my bite in!

Popcorn

This is my least favourite of all the snack foods. I hate that the kernels always find a way to get stuck in my teeth and gums and even throat. Mrs. Sip and her family are big popcorn people, so you can start to see our vast philosophical differences. I will eat it on some occasions, but I’m a chippy man, through and through. Which begs the question: why don’t theatres sell potato chips? They’re less messy than popcorn and soooooo much better.

popcorn stuck

Tuna

My cats sure love the chicken of the sea and have been known to come in from miles away if Ma Sip is cracking open a can. Sadly, though, I’m not a fan (although I do love watching the kitties go nuts over the tuna water). The taste is just off-putting to me, regardless if it’s in sashimi form or part of a tuna salad sandwich. Give me salmon, cod, halibut, or literally anything else from the ocean, before tuna.

Ribs

Okay I know I’m against the huge majority of Rib lovin’ eaters out there, but I just don’t understand how food in which you have to constantly work around the bone is so damn popular. I eventually got over the whole bone thing for fried chicken, but with ribs, even when you get around the bones, the often fatty meat doesn’t do much for my meal enjoyment. I also don’t like getting too messy when eating and we all know that ribs are like the poster child of dirty foods, necessitating bibs and a multitude of napkins.

Tapioca/Rice Pudding

It doesn’t take a scientist to tell you what this gunk actually looks like… just any red-blooded male! I’d rather eat paper mache until my stomach exploded more dramatically than a fourth grade science fair project. And can someone explain to me the whole bubble tea craze? Do people actually want to suck tapioca bubbles through a massive straw? What am I missing here?

Drink #194: Cement Mixer

Cement Mixer Shooter

So, which foods irk you? Let’s see what happens when we share a little… come on sippers, bring in the love!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3 Sips out of 5):
I was curious as to how this shooter would come together given the mix of acidic Lime Juice and thick, rich Irish Crème. As long as it didn’t curdle, I figured we’d be in business! On my first attempt, the shot turned into instant cement and we had to start from scratch. After a little more research, I found you had to actually mix the shot in your mouth by doing two separate shots or carefully layering the shooter. Luckily I have a split shot glass, so I took advantage of that. After swishing the liquids around in my mouth it does get lumpy quick. Don’t get me wrong, it tastes good, but the texture takes a little getting used to and may incite gagging for some.

April 13 – Candy Apple

Fun Fare

With summer rapidly approaching, we’re nearing fair season so it’s time to sit down and plan out what you want to eat when that glorious period arrives. It’s also time to think about how you’ll work off those calories before or after the event!

Cotton Candy

The melt-in-your-mouth treat is fun for the first few bites and then you realize how sticky your fingers are getting and someone (cough, cough, Mrs. Sip) reminds you that cotton candy is pure sugar, while also asking for constant bites of your treat. Which one is it, unhealthy or delicious? Why can’t it be both?

Cotton Candy

Is that Morgan Freeman?

Mini Donuts

You can smell these suckers from miles away and the scent often drags you by the nose to a little booth where you shell out $5 for a bag of 12 mini donuts. And you’ll do it again the next time that cinnamon-sugar deep fried goodness invades your nostrils. It’s always sad how quickly these snacks disappear, but that’s why you happily go home broke.

Caramel Apples

I remember when I was a young’un that our last stop of the day at the fair was to grab a caramel apple for the road. Today they put all kinds of crazy stuff on apples, but back in the day you were happy to have a mound of caramel and if you were really lucky – I’m talking best day ever lucky – you’d find a caramel apple with Smarties on it.

Funnel Cake

This treat absolutely rules with all the options you can stuff in it or heap on top. It’s like a donut-pie combo and I’m a huge supporter of anything deep fried. I’ve even gone so far as to try to put a deep fryer on my wedding registry. When this was vetoed by Mrs. Sip, I launched a petition campaign to get the fryer on the ballot. Speaking of fried delectables…

Deep Fried Anything

From pickles to Mars bars, hot dogs to onions, anything can be wrapped in dough, shoved into a fryer, and found at a fair… and they all taste fantastic! I implore you to find me something that doesn’t taste like it was meant for a deity after it’s been glorified in batter.

Deep Fried Everything

Popcorn/Caramel Corn

I’m not a fan of the stuff, but Mrs. Sip is and if I don’t include it, I fear for my safety. Why don’t I like popcorn and other kernel-based snacks? Because I always seem to get those damn kernels stuck in my teeth, along my gums or worst of all, in my throat. For me, the risk-reward just doesn’t pay off. Mrs. Sip, on the other hand, could eat the stuff for dinner after loading it with butter and mixing the occasional Junior Caramel into each handful.

Corn on the Cob

Probably (and sadly) the healthiest item on this list. This is the one exception I will make in the kernel wars, as I don’t really care how much of the yellow stuff I get caught in my teeth or how much butter ends up smeared across my mouth… it’s all worth it in the end when I go for a smooch with Mrs. Sip and she realizes how messy I am…

Of course, you could always drink your carnival treat… yeah, let’s do that!

Drink #103: Candy Apple

Candy Apple

  • 0.5 oz Crown Royal
  • 0.5 oz Sour Puss Apple
  • 0.5 oz Cranberry Juice
  • Garnish with Caramel/Candied Apple Slice

This shot was a great excuse to buy an entire, delicious caramel apple just to decorate it with… as if we need much of an excuse around here to go over the top! For those of you who don’t buy an entire candy apple each time you make this shot, a nice garnishing detail can be to rim the glass with caramel.

Well, I wish you all a wonderful trip to the fair, where I hope the food is awesome, the rides don’t make you yak, and that the demolition derby is still presented in your neck of the woods!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (4 Sips out of 5):
The pleasure of this shot was two-fold, as the shooter itself was quite tasty and then Mrs. Sip and I chased the liquid with the absolutely scrumptious Caramel Apple. We even fought over the last piece, before she distracted me with another shot!