March 28 – DDT

Going to the Hall

Well, it’s WrestleMania season once again and that means a new induction class into the World Wrestling Entertainment Hall of Fame. While the figurative “hall” has grown immensely over the last decade, there are some big time names that are shockingly still absent from what has been long-rumoured will someday be a physical structure. Here are the top five superstars that should be in the WWE Hall of Fame:

#5: John Bradshaw Layfield

Layfield worked his way up the roster from glorified jobber to tag team specialist to World Champion. When he first entered the company, he was saddled with the gimmick of a wild mountain man. From there, he became a rough and tumble cowboy, a brainwashed disciple of the Undertaker and a bar room brawler who could be hired for protection. Layfield was launched into the main event scene as JBL, a character similar to oil tycoon J.R. Ewing from the TV show Dallas. Under this persona, Layfield finally won a World Championship, a distinction even he thought was never going to happen in his career. Now a color commentator, Layfield has seamlessly transitioned from the ring to the announcer’s table and his time will certainly come for enshrinement.

JBL

#4: Chyna

The ‘9th Wonder of the World’ was an integral member of the Attitude Era and became a role model for women, as she was able to compete with the men, becoming the first female to hold an top-level championship when she won the Intercontinental Title and competed in numerous intergender bouts. Unfortunately, outside of the ring, Chyna (real name Joanie Laurer) split from her boyfriend Triple H (real name Paul Levesque) as the millennium changed and he went on to marry Stephanie McMahon, daughter of WWE Chairman Vince McMahon. She wasn’t part of the company much longer after that. Chyna has done some work in the adult industry and with WWE’s return to a PG-13 rating and kid friendly programming, those two worlds don’t gel too well together.

#3: Jim Johnston

Many of you reading this are probably asking: “Who the hell is Jim Johnston?” While he’s not a household name, he should be and anyone who has ever followed professional wrestling knows his work better than they think. Johnston has been creating the music that accompanies superstars to the ring for three decades. His most famous compositions include theme songs for ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin, The Undertaker, The Rock, D-Generation X, the Ultimate Warrior, and so many others. Compilation records released of Johnston’s work have garnered huge sales, some of the 17 albums hitting gold and platinum levels. Johnston now works for WWE’s film division, putting together scores for the company’s movie releases.

#2: Paul Heyman

While his greatest contribution to the wrestling business was as a competitor to WWE, as owner of Extreme Championship Wrestling, he has also enjoyed a noteworthy career with his one-time adversary, in the roles of an on-screen character and off-screen member of the creative team. Heyman is one of the greatest minds in the wrestling business, as proven with the way he changed the landscape of the industry with his revolutionary ECW promotion. The man, once known as Paul E. Dangerously, is also one of the best talkers of all-time and any time he has a microphone in hand, people take notice. While Heyman’s career has not concluded, managers and behind-the-scenes folks are in a different category, compared to active wrestlers and it’s time to see Heyman get his due.

#1: Owen Hart

While professional wrestling is more performance than sport, grapplers still make huge sacrifices to their bodies in the name of entertainment. Hell, Owen Hart literally gave his life for wrestling, tragically dying in an entrance stunt gone wrong. The youngest of the legendary Hart family should be recognized for his stellar career, including multiple championship reigns, but litigation between Owen’s widow Martha and WWE will likely kibosh any chance that he makes it into the Hall of Fame. That’s incredibly sad, as Owen was a gifted entertainer who was able to shed the shadow of his renowned wrestling lineage and create a path for himself as a star technician, devoted family man, and infamous practical jokester.

Super Saturday Shot Day: DDT

DDT Shot

  • Rim glass with Honey and Cinnamon Sugar
  • 0.5 oz Honey Whiskey
  • 0.5 oz Cinnamon Whisky
  • Dash of Tabasco Sauce

I left off sure-fire Hall of Famers who are still semi-active with WWE, including the Undertaker, Kane, Triple H, Chris Jericho, and others. I also didn’t give much thought to those without padded WWE resumes. Although the company has inducted some with little association to the company, they just wouldn’t be able to crack the top five presented here. In closing, I have to say that it’s about damn time that ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage was enshrined in this year’s class.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
The DDT, of course, is the finishing move made popular by WWE Hall of Fame member, Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts… you know, as well as being the infamous insecticide chemical! This shot was kind of neat, with the sweet Honey Whiskey coming through first, followed by the warmth of the Cinnamon Whiskey, and finally the burn of the Tabasco Sauce. It all makes for a cool (or hot) little shooter!

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June 1 – Procrastinator

Distraction Guaranteed

The vast and wondrous internet is about more than just free porn and Facebook follies. There is unlimited entertainment out there on the wild, wild web, which a procrastinator such as myself can fall into for hours at a time! Here is some suggested viewing:

Epic Meal Time

These Canadian boys sure know how to do food right. Their videos begin with the team gathering various ingredients (usually from fast food restaurants like KFC, McDonalds and Burger King) before they unite to make a meal of epic proportions… hence the name. The EMT crew love their bacon (who doesn’t!) and they also feature Jack Daniel’s Whiskey in a bunch of their recipes. Sip Advisor Favourite: Fast Food Sushi  – so many sauces!

Everyday Drinkers

I really like this guy and his videos on how to make a number of different cocktails. His laid back and common man approach puts you at ease and he shows that everyone is capable of making these multi-ingredient drinks, regardless of mixology acumen. My bar collection is pretty sweet, but the Common Man cocktail slinger has a stock of liquors that would make anyone envious. Sip Advisor Favourite: Too hard to narrow down, just check out the guy’s work!

LOLCats

It’s common knowledge that I’m a cat guy and have featured them favourably and heavily on this site. The LOLCats mix fun images of kitties messing around with any number of hilarious jokes. The quality ranges from mediocre to downright brilliant, but you won’t be disappointed after a visit to this site. Sip Advisor Favourite: Probably the “I Can Has Cheezburger” series.

Angry Video Game Nerd

What’s best about the Angry Video Game Nerd’s videos is that they take you back to a simpler time in your life, when your little world revolved around Nintendo (and other systems) and your difficulties in beating various games from its library. The guy is also pretty funny in his review of difficult or craptacular games. For anyone who enjoys watching others play at the arcade, these videos are for you. Sip Advisor Favourite: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – difficult, but classic game…

Between Two Ferns

Hosted by Zach Galifianakis, these interviews (if you can call a host ignoring and degrading his guest an interview) are good for a few laughs. Some of Hollywood’s top names have visited Galifinakis’s little set, including Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, Bradley Cooper, Conan O’Brien, and many more. In typical Galifianakis style, you never really know what he’s going to say, but you know it will be awkwardly funny. Sip Advisor Favourite: Bruce Willis because of the line from Galifianakis, “Did you know that some actors turn down roles?”

Addicting Games

This site got me through a large portion of my college years, messing around and trying different games. While I’m an ardent fan of the match three genre, there are many other casual games I enjoy giving a whirl. Sip Advisor Favourites: Cursed Treasure, for the tower defense fans out there and, of course, Kitten Cannon, where you launch a kitten out of a cannon and see how far it will fly. (No animals were harmed in the making of this post).

Botch-A-Mania

For the wrestling fans out there, you have to check out the Botch-A-Mania videos on YouTube. They let you relive some of professional wrestling greatest screw-ups (affectionately known in the industry as botches). Some of these are so funny you’ll be rolling on the floor, laughing your ass off. For bonus wrestling fun, check out WrestleCrap for the craziest in squared circle coverage. Sip Advisor Favourite: Probably when Booker T dropped an N-bomb on Hulk Hogan!

Drink #152: Procrastinator

June 1

  • Rim glass with Caramel Syrup and Skor Bits
  • 0.75 oz Frangelico
  • 0.75 oz Honey Whiskey

Of course, you could also spend countless hours on this site, enjoying all the Sip Advisor has to offer. Thanks to the fine folks above, I’ve wasted numerous hours of my life. While Mrs. Sip might wish things were different, I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
You can also make a Procrastination Martini with Gin, Dry Vermouth, Limoncello and Green Chartreuse, but I preferred the shooter recipe. This is a pretty strong shot, but it tastes good. I had trouble constructing the Skor Bit rim, having to resort to Caramel Syrup as an adhesive to make those suckers stick. Any chance I have to use Honey Whiskey is one I’m going to take!

May 18 – Alien Piss

Alien-Nation

In reality, we are all “aliens” to someone else. However, the following characters are completely out of this world. If life really exists “out there”, I only hope that these beings are similar to the entries that I’ve compiled below. That would make for some very interesting extra-terrestrial visitors and hopefully a few folks to share some drinks with!

Mork – Mork & Mindy

Only the high-intensity comedic stylings of Robin Williams could make this character really work. It probably helped that he was pretty coked up during this portion of his life. I mean, standing on your head when asked to take a seat (which is how Williams landed the gig on the spot)… how crazy is that! You also have to remember Mork for the catchphrases he created, including the greeting “Na-Nu, Na-Nu” and the curse word “Shazbot”.

Mork

Roger Smith – American Dad

One of my favourite characters of all time! Roger is a booze consuming, costume wearing, mayhem causing, intergalactic traveler. Did I mention that he drinks a lot? He puts us all to shame with the copious amounts of liquor he can throw back. I guess aliens just know how to party better than we do and maybe we should be learning from them, rather than the other way around.

Dr. Zoidberg – Futurama

There are so many characters I could choose from the futuristic series (Kif, Nibbler, etc.), but I’ll settle for poor Dr. Zoidberg. Sadly, nobody really gets the big fellow and it’s a recurring joke about how disliked the good doctor is. Zoidberg is really a gentle soul… at least until he returns to his home planet, where he becomes embroiled in the mating battle of his species and nearly kills colleague Philip J. Fry in the frenzied process.

Alf – Alf

You little sippers out there know that the Sip Advisor loves his puppets and Alf places very respectively on my list of favourites. His verbal sparring with Willie Tanner, the man of the house, was always fun to watch. I’m not one for violence against animals, but it would have been interesting if Alf ever got his hands on the Tanner’s cat, Lucky. Hey, hold on a second. The Full House family was also named Tanner. I wonder if they were related!?

Alf

Marvin the Martian – Looney Tunes

While I never really thought much of Marvin when he was placed in the role of protagonist, it was always fun to see him get blown up and maimed in other manners at the hands of Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck. You still have to give credit to Marvin for being one of the first alien characters ever, debuting in 1948.

The Solomons – 3rd Rock From the Sun

This show was vastly underappreciated during its time, but it had a really talented cast and good writing. The show involved a team of four aliens who were sent to earth to observe humans and report back to their leader, The Big Giant Head. You had Dick, the captain of the mission; Harry, the communications officer; Sally, the security and weapons expert; and young Tommy, the wise, old (despite his teenager appearance) information guru. As they adapted to the foreign world around them, hilarity ensued showing just how funny interspecies interaction can be.

Kang & Kodos – The Simpsons

Making regular guest appearances for The Simpsons Treehouse of Horrors Halloween specials, Kang and Kodos have done everything from abduct the Simpson family to win the American presidential election and overthrow earth. I think you’d have to be an alien to want to be a politician. All that smiling and ass kissing you have to do certainly couldn’t be tolerated by most normal people of the human species. Perhaps they’re just ingesting…

Drink #138: Alien Piss

May 18

  • Rim glass with Alien Piss (just kidding, it’s Caramel Syrup)
  • 0.3 oz Honey Whiskey (I used Jack Daniel’s)
  • 0.3 oz Blue Curacao
  • 0.3 oz Sour Apple Mixer
  • 0.3 oz Sweet & Sour Mix
  • 0.3 oz Lemon-Lime Soda

I always find it amazing that so many shows with aliens involve them wanting to learn about our culture and behavior. Really! Do aliens really need to know about selfies, monster truck rallies, and beer pong?… well, maybe that last one would come in handy.

Sip Advisor Bar Notes (3.5 Sips out of 5):
This is a fun little shot with lots of ingredients. Going in, I had no clue what it would taste like and all I can describe it as afterwards is delicious. It’s a very light shooter, but all the ingredients are nice, so you make peace with it not getting you blitzed. If you wanted it to be more boozy, you could switch to Sour Apple Puss or Pucker and use some sort of Citrus Rum or Vodka, as well.